New York, New York…

How I Met Your Mother time again!

We start at MacLaren’s. Robin discuss Maury Povitch, how she saw him. But everyone has seen him and Robin’s not a real New Yorker. She’s Canadian. Robin argues she is, she’s been in the city six years now!  Marshall says she’s not a real New Yorker until she sees Woody Allen, Ted says it’s not until she’s stolen a cab from someone who really needed it, Lily says its when you’ve cried on the subway and not cared what everyone else thought, and Marshall says it’s when you’ve killed a cockroach with your bare hands. Barney invites them to a steakhouse downtown so Robin suggests taking a cab. Lily says a New Yorker knows the subway is faster—take the 1 to the 2 or 3. Ted argues that the buses are more reliable on the weekends. And as a Staten Islander who especially relies on the 1 train, I can attest that’s true. Damn weekend construction. Barney complains that there is always some crazy person no one wants to sit next to on the bus and that’s why he doesn’t ride it. Marshall says he can outrun a bus. Barney says he can eat a steak and outrun them all.

And the race is on!

CREDITS!

Everyone spreads out and Lily goes for the subway. Future!Ted tells us “Why Lily Needed a Win.” We see Marshall and Lily trying to get pregnant. He tells her Eriksens are fertile men. But all her tests are negative. She sees a miniature Marshall taunting her, claiming it isn’t his fault and that his mom hates her. She goes to pee on the stick again as miniature Marshall panics and real Marshall is just confused. So Future!Ted says that Lily really needed this win. She jumps into a one train as the doors…remain open. Maury Povitch sits there watching her and comments “Idiot.”

Meanwhile, Marshall starts to run and puts a song in his head. It’s a Johnny Cash-esque song entitled “Marshall vs the Machines.” As he speeds past a wheelchair grandmother, Maury Povitch steals Robin’s cab. Meanwhile, Maury is still sitting next to Lily, who listens to the garbled conductor announcements saying that there is weekend track work (duh, it’s the 1 train) and that there will be a twenty-minute delay. A tourist family is impressed. There are also usually signs posted around the station saying the same thing. Anyway, Maury is sitting behind Ted on the bus as Future!Ted explains “Why I Needed a Win.” A few nights before Marshall tells Ted about RateMyProfessor.com. I’m sorry, copyright, so GradeMyTeacher.net. Ted’s just learning about this? My mom learned about it within her first semester. He goes on and finds great reviews, complete with word designs like movie reviews. Until he comes across “Boring.”

While Ted blathers on to his unfortunate bus mate, Barney fakes a heart attack (complete with “Elizabeth!”). Robin steals someone’s cab—check that off the New Yorker list. Meanwhile, Barney learns his ambulance will be taking him uptown rather than downtown. He panics as we see everyone still trying to get to the steakhouse. With the woman Robin stole the taxi from on top of the cab.

Barney calls someone from the ambulance before Future!Ted tells us “Why Robin Needed a Win.” He talks about Robin falling in love with Don before he took her dream job in Chicago, which she turned down because she loved him. Now, we meet her new co…It’s Laura Bell Bundy’s episode? NO WAY! She jumps in, all excited and very Elle Woods like. She tells Robin she’s not her to step on her toes then announces she has cookies. Soon, Becky eclipses Robin. Meanwhile, Marshall still runs as his theme song plays. Barney jumps into a car being driven by RANJIT!

On the bus, the woman Robin stole a cab from sits next to Ted, who tells her useless facts. She moves but…WHY DOES SHE LOOK FAMILIAR? Anyway, as Ted annoys the bus driver and seriously, they get an authentic looking New York subway car but not an authentic looking New York bus?, Barney picks up Robin. She asks if this was his way of apologizing as we see earlier, in MacLaren’s, she wanted to talk to him about Becky but he blew her off for a cute girl at the bar. She then talks about how New York seems to be rejecting her. She thinks he doesn’t care but he really does. We see a bit of Barney’s love for Robin as Ranjit turns up the smooth jazz. Meanwhile, both Marshall and his theme song past Barney’s car. He gets out as Ted realizes he’s the crazy person on the bus. As he gets off, everyone cheers.

Everyone then meets up at one spot. Ted offers to call it off but they take off as Maury passes with his dog.

Lily catches a two train at Union Square (and we hear Maury say “Idiot” as she dives in again), on which Robin is…just a car ahead. She thinks some hot guy is checking her out, but then notices the ad advertising Becky. She rips it off, only to see it was covering up a picture of her and Don. She cries and snaps at the people…successfully checking off that thing on her list. As Barney takes a ride, Future!Ted tells us “Why Barney Needed a Win.” Barney goes on about how awesome he is as Future!Ted realizes he didn’t need a win but did smell incredible. Barney takes over biking. Lily gets off and runs into Robin. She declares that New York won and that she wants to move somewhere new. Lily says she can’t. Because then Lily would have to follow her, so Marshall would have to follow Lily, and Ted would follow Marshall. Upside: Might get rid of Barney. Robin hugs her as the conductor announces something. Lily pretends not to understand it, gets off as the doors close and tells Robin that the train is expressing to Borough Hall. Then the doors open and Robin runs out.

Ted talks to an exhausted Marshall, who collapses. As he comes to, some guy dressed in a calculator suit asks if he needs help. Marshall screams and announces the machines have won. He then yells he can’t run that far or that he can’t get Lily pregnant. Ted tells Marshall to calm down—it’s only been two months, not two years. Marshall tells Ted he’s freaking out over one bad negative review amongst fifty good ones. “Sixty-four” Ted corrects. As the calculator gives a bad pun, they push him down. Ted takes off while Lily pulls Marshall into Ranjit’s car.

Robin, Ted and Barney meet up and race to the steakhouse. Robin wins and wonders how. Future!Ted reveals that Marshall and Lily come clean about their pregnancy nerves. They realize they have a list of things to do before parenthood and that the pregnancy is not a race. It’ll happen when it happens. Marshall asks Ranjit to take them to Coney Island. He does so. Meanwhile, he tells us how he think Barney saw Robin’s face and, while Barney says that he tripped, tackled Ted. When he confronts Barney, he distracts him with how awesome he smells. Robin talks to the cute guy she nearly ran over and he says that Woody Allen is in there. But it’s just Maury. As Robin kills a cockroach (free meal!), Future!Ted declares her a real New Yorker. Meanwhile, Barney and Ted have fun at the bar while Marshall and Lily snuggle in Ranjit’s car.

There is no tag this week. But October 13th is International Suit Up Day. So, follow Uncle Barney’s rules and Suit Up!

Quote of the Episode:

“Is anyone else suddenly craving green eggs and ham?” –Robin, as they discuss transportation options.

Let the Thunder Roll…

I don’t know exactly why, but one day a few years ago I decided to stop on one of my PBS stations (because of Staten Island’s location, I not only receive Channel 13 from New York but also Channel 21 from Long Island and Channel 25 from New Jersey). There was a concert on and the music intrigued me. That show was Celtic Thunder. I fell in love with their Irish-infused music and how great all their voices were. I purchased their first CD and would play it while at work. In fact, my boss commented on the oddity of “Puppy Love” following such Celtic sounding songs.

The men of Celtic Thunder are George Donaldson, Ryan Kelly, Paul Byrom, Keith Harkin and Damian McGinty. Recently, a sixth member was added to the group: Neil Byrne. Neil, though, has been working with Celtic Thunder since the beginning. Neil plays in the Celtic Thunder band and provides backup vocals.

I also bought as many of their CDs as they could possibly put out. I also watched every show broadcasted by PBS. But everyone knows that everything is better live! So I did a little digging on the group’s official website. And they were going to be in New York City, at Radio City, on October 1st! I asked some friends to come with me and my friend Lauren said she could. I bought the tickets and eagerly waited for the month to pass.

On Friday, after we stopped by the Comfort Diner (which I highly recommend to anyone who lives near Arthur Kill Road on Staten Island), she and I took the train-ferry-train down to Times Square. We walked down 7th, which was bustling with slow-moving tourists and the native New Yorkers trying to outwalk them. We talked about the annoying promoters constantly trying to get you to see a comedy show. And of course, they tried. But because of the foot traffic and hawkers (and because I remembered that Radio City is closer to 6th), we left 7th Ave. We arrived at Radio City, where a large crowd was being ushered into the music hall. We got on line, had our tickets scanned, my bag checked and soon entered Radio City.

Our seats were very good. We were in the orchestra, row UU—which is front orchestra—center section. As we took our seats, the woman in the row behind us recognized me. She and I attend the same church. It was nice to know there’s someone else in my neighborhood who likes Celtic Thunders as much as I! Shortly after, an announcement told the audience that the forecast called for some thunder in the area and Phil Coulter took the stage. He is Celtic Thunder’s music director. He explained that the first act we would see was a show called “Heritage” while the second act was “It’s Entertainment!”

“Heritage” was a section devoted to the men’s favorite songs from Ireland and the traditional set. The show opens with the song “Heartland,” which is standard for Celtic Thunder. Each guy, including Neil, got to sing a solo piece while they still performed group numbers. Some of the highlights for me were Damian singing “Come by the Hills” entirely in Gaelic (which I was worried would bore my friend as I’ve heard the song in English while she hasn’t but she said she liked it anyway), Paul singing “Red, Red Rose,” and a lovely duet by Ryan and George that I wish I knew the name to. “Heritage” finished with “All God’s Creatures Have a Place in the Choir,” a toe-tapping gospelesque song that led us into our intermission.

While at intermission, the woman next to my friend and I adopted us. She heard me explain to my fellow parishioner that I had only seen Celtic Thunder on TV. She, however, was an avid Thunderhead (defined as a fan of Celtic Thunder) and this was her third concert. She asked us who are favorites were and Lauren gave a vague answer while I piped in with “Paul!”

Soon, though, the lights dimmed and “It’s Entertainment” started with all five guys singing “Take Me Home.”  Lauren noted that the crowd was more enthusiastic and participated more during this section. I explained to her that “It’s Entertainment” was already released and performed, so the audience already knew what to expect. This section is devoted to songs spanning several decades and styles.  For example, Damian sings “Standing on the Corner” from The Most Happiest Fella, a Broadway-musical while Ryan sings the Bryan Adams hit “Everything I Do (I Do It For You).” Other highlights included Keith’s “Surfer Melody”—Surf City; Fun, Fun, Fun; and Surfin’ USA—as well as George’s rendition of the Pretenders’ “I Want to Spend My Life With You.” One of my favorite performances was Paul singing “Doo Wacka Doo,” complete with some fancy footwork! Another highlight was the trio of Ryan, Keith and Neil singing “Hallelujah.” The finale was the U2 hit “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” which had us on our feet and clapping along.

I’ve been ignoring a big part of the show: the band. They weren’t there just to provide the musical accompaniment. They got their own chances to shine, especially Neil who ran between the drums and the guitar for one number. One female fiddler was quite impressive as well.

For their encore, the five came back out in kilts to perform “Ireland’s Call.” I knew this was coming—they sing it to conclude every show, much like Billy Joel sings “Piano Man.” Hearing “Ireland’s Call” on television is thrilling; hearing it live is electrifying. Everyone in the crowd sang along and our adoptive friend even did the hand motions with the boys. But sadly, all good things come to an end and the Radio City lights came back. We tumbled back to the crowded, noisy city streets and went to meet friends at a local bar.

Overall, the concert was everything I hoped it would be. We had great seats, with great views of the stage. The music, performances and lads were much better live than on TV. I believe this was just the first of my many Celtic Thunder shows!

Stumbling into the Ring

Last week on ANTM: Nigel and Ms. J decided to test the girls on their posing abilities. So, they put them on a roller coaster! Poor Chris is terrified but gets on the roller coaster anyway. Her photo turns out as you would think. Liz wins the challenge and gets to go on shoot with Tyra. She brings Kayla and Chris along, as well, to watch Tyra eat. Next, they have a photoshoot with Matthew Rolston in which they are slid under a plate of water and paired with seafood. Oh, and modeling jewelry. Rolston was the guest judge for panel. Ann was called first for the third time while Liz and Rhianna fell to the bottom. In the end, Rhianna was shipped out for not being versatile enough while Liz was told to toughen up. Oh, and the entire house hates Kacey. Ten wannabes remain—whose dream is crush tonight?

Wanna be on top?

LA! The girls come to Ann’s picture…again. She’s happy and hopes people remember her. Kacey thinks it is time for her to be number one, even if she’s the bitch. She thinks they’re the bitches. Kacey calls a house meeting to get to know her better. Chris decides to go with it to give her a chance. Liz talks about being pregnant and in a homeless shelter. Her daughter is so adorable. She recalls about being in the bottom two and is harping on the no hair thing. Jaeda 2.0? Anyway, Jane reveals her father’s a doctor. The girls realize this means Jane has money. When asked if she wanted to be anyone else in the house, Liz picks Jane for her hair and for her money because of the recession. Jane hints she has been hit by the recession too.

TYRA MAIL! “Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward.” Kayla predicts motion photoshoot. Lexie decides to eat six Saltines in one minute. Hey, they do that at the Staten Island Yankees game. They call it “Mission Impossible” because no one’s been able to do it.

Anyway, the girls board the Model Mobile and it takes them to a tunnel. Lexie is surprised they were able to shut one down. Ms. J welcomes them to the Second Street Tunnel. In which they’ll have a runway show. As you do. Never mind how bad LA traffic is. Anyway, the girls will be modeling Herve Leroux designs. Ooh la la! Ms. J brings out MEN! Oh my god, what’s with Tyra and the men? Did she find out about Kacey and Shaw? My friend’s hoping for another “You had SEX?!” a la Shandi, Cycle 2. And besides the male models, the runway will also be moving. And the girls will be in heels. The winner of the challenge—pretty much keeping her balance on the runway—will win Lisa Freede Jewelry.

The girls hit makeup and hair as Lexie points out that Kacey is still an outcast. Liz asks Ms. J if she has a risk of her train getting caught. Ms. J smiles in anticipation for bloodshed and says that fashion is a risk. Wow, are those real people or friends of the crew? Chelsey is up first. She stumbles a bit but we hear Ms. J say she recovered well. But she still stumbles a bit. A lot of pixelating this cycle…of the ladies’ mouths! Do we have a bunch of cursers?

Commercials!

We come back to Chelsey sliding off the conveyor belt. Liz is our next victim. She takes a minute to breathe and stumbles on to the belt. She jumps on a posing stage and pretty much can’t make it. She’d rather go into labor again. Jane says she’s competitive so she takes on the runway. Little steps is how she goes. Ann fears she’s psyching herself out. She stumbles a bit. Kayla is next and looks like she’s doing a gym exercise. Kendall loses a shoe, which Ms. J holds up. Lexie hopes her track experience helps. So far, she looks the best walk-wise. One girl even tells her friend she is so good. Kacey…damn her…looks good. Esther is up next and has balancing issues, like everyone else. She even falls off the stairs! Chris is next as Esther plays off her fall. Ms. J makes fun of Chris’ face as she takes on the belt. It tosses her on her rump.

Ms. J gives the girls critique. He/She/It praises Chelsey for going back into her model face. He/She/It praises Kacey for her smile and tells Lexie she was graceful. But Kacey wins and she yells “I got FIRST!” Even Ms. J seems taken aback as the girls recover from having their eardrums burst.

Back at the house, the girls are lounging about when Andre Leon Talley shows up! Chris bugs out. He introduces someone he’s known since she’s a baby and at 16 graced Italian Vogue. That is Karolina Kurkova. She’s there to teach them how to eat healthy. She makes them smoothies. And tells them secrets to being a good model. She tells them it’s personality. Lexie says she needs to do that. Anvils? Are they falling? Karolina departs as we see Venice Beach.

TYRA MAIL! “Don’t let the competition throw you.” Kacey spots bobby pins on the counter and makes a big deal of it. Lexie and Ann are surprised because Kacey left her food there for three days. So Lexie refuses to move it until Kacey moves her garbage. Kacey says Lexie can’t do anything unless she has her “back-up bitches.” So what does Kacey do? She goes into Lexie’s room to confront her. Uh huh. Liz is sick and tired, so she jumps in while Kacey continues to have this “poor me” attitude. Dude, if you don’t want everyone to gang up with Lexie, do the following: 1. Throw your food away! 2. Call her out somewhere where the others aren’t!

Seriously, I really miss Bianca and Laura at this point.

LA! The Model Mobile takes them to…a boxing ring? Mr. Jay welcomes them to Lucha va Voom and introduces them to Chupacabra, Crazy Chicken, Zokre, and Shamu Jr. Kacey hopes she gets to box someone. They will be editorial but posing with one of the Mexican fighters. Mr. Jay introduces our photographers--Eddie and Moshe Brakke, father and son. Liz poses with Crazy Chicken. She gets a little lost with the instructions being thrown at her. At least she complains backstage. Kendal is next and Mr. Jay tells her to commit to it. She tries yelling. Jane doesn’t go intense. Esther isn’t scared to go there. Chelsey improves as the shots go on. Kayla mentions Kim from Cycle 5 but says no lesbian has won. Mr. Jay likes her. Kacey goes and Mr. Jay has to explain some of the instructions but he liked her. Chris jumps and Mr. Jay liked her effort. Ann has demasked the wrestler, which is a disgrace. She doesn’t do so great at the beginning and it upsets her. Lexie causes Mr. Jay to make a face. He still doesn’t see emotion.

That’s a wrap!

Back at the house, the girls talk about their shoots and Mr. Jay’s comments. Lexie is really worried and Jane hopes she has one good shot. Ann is worried for panel while Kacey just doesn’t want her to be called first again.

Karolina pretends to be a contestant before panel. The girls come in. Tyra looks great. There are prizes, there are judges, our guest judge is Karolina Kurkova. Kendal is first. Tyra and Andre like her look this week. Nigel likes her face but Karolina doesn’t think it matches her body. Lexie follows and Nigel doesn’t think it’s a model. Andre doesn’t think it has energy and Tyra notes she struggles. Lexie admits she did. Andre loves Esther but Karolina is drawn to the wrestler. Karolina likes Chelsey’s tension. Tyra shows her trick so we can see her pictures. Ann admits she felt she let everyone down. And she’s still good. Nigel loves her eyes, Andre loves her mouth. Karolina tells her others think it’s their worst shoot but it turns out to be the best. Jane is taught the difference between porn and not porn.

Tyra loves Chris jumping but says her eyes just need a little more smize. Tyra praises her for asking. Andre makes Kayla change her hair and Nigel even grabs a shot. Tyra likes that she went for it in her shoot. Nigel tells them to lose the cocktail dresses as Liz steps forward. They like her face, even if it looks scary. Kacey winks at the panel as they note she won the challenge. They like the pose but think her eyes are vacant and Karolina calls it safe.

We return to the panel for deliberation. Karolina doesn’t think Kendal owns her beauty. Tyra thinks Lexie has potential—she’s just not bringing it. Karolina loves Esther’s look. Andre loves Chris’ pictures. Nigel loves how Ann’s awkwardness works for her. Tyra likes that Ann felt she disappointed people from a business end. Karolina thinks Jane needs to work on personality. They love Kayla and think Liz looks insane.

ELIMINATION! The first girl called is…Ann. She is the first to get four times in a row! She is followed by: Chris, Chelsey, Kayla, Liz, Esther, Kacey, and Kendal. That leaves Lexie and Jane as our bottom two. Lexie: Vivacious personality, but fades in front of a camera. Jane: Nice pictures, but hasn’t shown personality. So, who stays? Jane. So, who needs to get in Kacey’s face now? I vote Liz. Tyra hugs Lexie and says she has the genetics, she needs to practice. She’s grateful for the experience but is steamed Kacey is still there.

America’s Next Top Model

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Well, it looks like I spotted the falling anvils pretty well. I’m still loving Ann, even if right now she looks like she’ll win. I think Kayla will give her a run for her money, though. That’ll be an interesting runway.

Next week: Ann falls short at the Cover Girl challenge before the girls hit Rodeo Drive for their shoot.

Quote of the Episode:

“I wish them all the best…but one. I wish eight of them the best.” –Lexie, in her exit interview.

We Got the Spirit…Under the Sea!

So I’m sure you’ve either heard or seen the giant gaffe pulled on Australia’s Next Top Model. In the live finale, host Sarah Murdoch announced the wrong winner. The poor girl got to celebrate, hug, thank the entire world and then Sarah had to interrupt the festivities to announce the OTHER girl was really the winner. Of course, there are several questions that raise from this mistake—so I turned to the Almighty Wikipedia to answer the questions! Yes, the finale of Australia’s Next Top Model is broadcast live. And while Sarah Murdoch serves as a judge, the panel is not the sole selector of the winner. The sponsors, members of the fashion industry and the public vote and are combined with the judges’ votes. This was also the first cycle that allowed the viewers to vote. That is why Sarah didn’t know the name of the winner—she would’ve been just as surprised.

Though while Murdoch’s mistake was live, you know our Tyra probably has a lot of taped mistakes of her own hidden somewhere at Bankable Productions.

Now…Last week on America’s Next Top Model: It was makeover week! And still no one has surpassed Jaeda’s meltdown. I guess the girl set the bar too high. But in a surprising twist, one girl was sent home after the makeover. For not truly embracing her hairdo and for being the one to make the biggest fuss, Terra was sent packing while sister Chris cried. But she channeled that heartbreak into a good photo as a heartbroken fallen angel. However, overall, the photoshoot was a bomb. Ann, Kayla, Chris and Chelsey rose to the top while Lexie and Sara were in the bottom two. And after bleaching out Sara’s eyebrows to make her look weird, Tyra sent her packing. Eleven wannabes remain, who will be packing her bags tonight?

Wanna be on top? Have I mentioned how I love the felt the need to throw Italian Vogue into the credits?

VENICE BEACH! The girls go home to admire Ann’s picture…again. Lexie confesses about having to excel this week because she was in the bottom two. The girls goof off while Kayla says she can’t take a third week of Ann. Rhianna agrees, especially since she and Ann were cast with the same looks. Liz worries about her daughter and says she wants to win it more than the other girls. They all say that, Ann. Meanwhile, Kacey seems to be the house loner…until she decides to have a barbecue with the male models. She has her hometown friend’s number. The other girls remind her she has a boyfriend and she says that it’s harmless. The other girls are uncomfortable. Lexie doesn’t trust Kacey since she betrayed a confidence in casting. I missed something, didn’t I?

As the barbecue began, it was awkward. “Middle school dance” awkward according to Kayla. The only ones having Kacey and Shaw. The boys leave.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow your world will be turned upside down.” We suspend the girls over shark-infested water and the last one not to fall to their deaths is the winner? I think I have some issues…I blame our violence-loving media. It’s easier and cheaper than therapy.

The girls hop on the Model Mobile and go to meet Ms. J and Nigel at Knott’s Ferry Farm, America’s First Theme Park. Nigel tells the girls how the fashion industry loves to go to extreme and how the models have to deliver what the client wants. Nigel tells them they will be riding the Silver Bullet. Chris isn’t thrilled. One of the roller coaster camera will snap a picture while Nigel and Ms. J yell out emotions via an earpiece for the girls to portray. The winner of this challenge will get a photoshoot with Tyra and it’ll be displayed online. As the girls race through the queue, Jane reminds us that they will be riding roller coasters, they will have to maintain their composure, and she’s probably going to lose her lunch. Chris compares being on a roller coaster to finding out there is a killer behind her. And I thought I had issues.

Liz is up first and takes off her flip flops. Nigel tells her to be relatable, comfortable, charming…In essence, Liz is being catalogue. Start ‘er up! She yells until she sees the camera. Kacey gets edgy. Lexie gets jealousy/envy. Jane has melancholy. Kayla gets sulking pout. Seriously. Chelsie has a secret no one else knows. Ann gets intense and fierce. Rhianna gets fear while the girls laugh that she’ll be so zen on this ride. Chris is still terrified. Honestly, for the flack I gave her, I understand her apprehension. The Silver Bullet is an inverted roller coaster where your feet dangle, like Batman the Ride here at Six Flags Great Adventure. After riding that, I swore off any other inverted roller coasters where my feet dangle. I was knocked about and came off so white, the ride attendants came over to make sure I wasn’t sick or seriously injured.

Also, does a K-Mart layaway commercial count as a first holiday commercial? Because I see gifts, Santa hats and tree…And October is TOMORROW.

We come back to a terrified Chris refusing to go on a roller coaster. But then she remembers she could get sent home like her sister. So she straps in and gets “distracted in an I don’t care manner.” Who comes up with these? She screams…and screams…and has her eyes closed. Her picture, isn’t very “distracted.” The girls embrace her as she comes off shaking and with tears in her eyes.

They go to view the pictures. Liz nails it, Chelsie loses her teeth, Kelsey gets praised. Esther was sexy-bold, which Nigel liked. Kendal was innocent-coy but looked sick. Ann doesn’t fare well. Chris looks scared. Rhianna loved her ride but didn’t get fear just right. And Liz wins the challenge. She gets to have some one-on-one Tyra time. But she also gets to pick two friends. She picks Chris and Kayla. Nigel and Ms. J send them back.

Liz goes to meet Tyra at Smashbox. Tyra tells Liz she is going to recreate on of Tyra’s poses and Tyra is confident that she’ll out Tyra Tyra. Liz says she glad she won the first challenge. Kayla goes next and impresses Tyra. Chris says she thanked Liz profusely. When they are done, they go to have tea. Tyra jokes with them and asks about their hair. Tyra tells Liz to not go too sexual. Tyra’s really eating. The girls are kinda surprised.

Back at the house, the girls are cleaning. Namely, Lexie and Liz. Lexie wonders why she’s the only one cleaning while Kacey never cleans. She also confronts Kacey about casting and how no one really likes her. Kacey asks if that is true and starts to confront each girl. One girl thinks that she is fake and someone else thinks she was the girl who got everything will want. Kacey can’t believe everyone is gaining up on her while Lexie wants to use this as a springboard to try to reach some sort of peace in the house. Sorry, Kacey, looks like you are getting the house bitch edit. Someone has to. Don’t make me review reality show laws. Kacey says she’s glad she’s alone because only one person can win, the other girls suck, blah blah blah. If you’ve heard the house bitch rant before, you know what she said.

Commercials! I really would’ve liked to hear Bianca and Laura’s take on the house rivalry.

TYRA MAIL! “True beauty lies just under the surface.” All the girls predict water. And the house bitch can’t swim!

The Model Mobile takes them to Smashbox Studios. The girls will be modeling jewelry from Martin Katz, Neil Lane and Mikimoto (remember them from Cycle 3?) in a beauty shot. Last week, it was men. This week, it’s seafood! Yes, all of Ariel and Nemo’s friends will be their partners. Mr. Jay introduces fashion legend Matthew Rolston as their photographer. Chelsie and Chris are impressed and thrilled. He tells them to pretend to be undersea goddesses. They will be slid between glass plates and suspended over water. He tells them he’s fully hands on. And he proves that in makeup. He wonders about Chris’ forehead and thinks hand. Chris suggests octopus.

Kendal is up first and Mr. Jay tells her to find an emotion to connect to for this scenario. She picks sensual. He tells her to imagine the club. Kendal gets an eel. She gets pushed under the glass of water. Mr. Jay doesn’t think she’s in the club and Matthew wants her to be happy. Kayla follows and Mr. Jay calls her regal and calls her a modern day Ariel. Matthew says “wow.” Chelsey follows and they tell her to go softer and are impressed. Esther is called a movie star by Matthew. Chris gets on and really pushes for an octopus. Matthew wins with the hand. Mr. Jay is impressed she held it together and wowed him. Lexie follows and reminds us she was in the bottom two last week. They add splashes and poor Lexie battle seasickness. Kacey thinks she’s trying to psyche them out. Matthew likes her. Why must the house bitch take such good pictures? Jane and Ann both do well. Rhianna watches Ann and then follows her. Can someone in production tell her to SPEAK UP! She’s almost as bad as Mumbles. Mr. Jay calls her Elizabethan but notices the same expressions week after weeks. Liz struggles to focus, saying her eyes are watery due to the makeup. And we know Mr. Jay thinks she is a complainer. Mr. Jay tells to her to model through anything. Mr. Jay isn’t impressed.

SKULL and CROSSBONES! Someone gets to walk the plank! I mean, gets to go home! Kayla predicts Rhianna in the bottom because she is one look. Chelsey wants to be number one and predicts Liz will go home due to her complaining.

Nigel gets a makeup touch up before panel while Matthew Rolston thanks Tyra for the opportunity. The girls enter. There are prizes, there is Italian Vogue, there are judges, and Matthew Rolston is our guest judge. Kacey is first. The panel is horrified she is wearing gold lame shoes. Tyra gives her her shoes. Andre and Nigel love her picture. Tyra says that this type of shoot can cause models to look dead because they are immobile. Kayla follows and Tyra also compares her to Ariel. She’s versatile and Tyra likes. Esther’s looks like a legit magazine cover. Matthew calls her old Hollywood and Andre compares her to Liz Taylor. They love Ann. Matthew Rolston loves her look. Matthew says he loved shooting Chris. Tyra gets to share big forehead tricks. Jane is praised for her balancing act and Tyra tells her to stretch her neck. Andre calls her elegant and warm. Nigel wants to see her head on and to make the picture her own.

Nigel thinks Rhianna is uncomfortable. Rhianna thought she had a smirk, Nigel doesn’t see it. Kendal follows and Nigel loves it. But Matthew says it was a struggle with her mouth. Chelsie looks nice but she’s not wearing the makeup. Tyra thinks she got kicked off RuPaul’s DragU. And they applaud the challenge winner, Liz. They didn’t like her picture and Tyra’s disappointed. And Liz tells her story about the contact lens. Liz, it’s Cycle 15…Tyra and the panel don’t like excuses! Haven’t you learned this already? Jeez. Tyra tells her to countdown, close her eyes, model through the pain. Just like Mr. Jay said.

The judges deliberate. They love Kacey. Of course. They love Kayla. Andre loves Esther. Matthew calls Ann memorable and says she can break the rule with her height. Jane sells to the Town and Country set. Lexie can’t just survive on profile. Matthew isn’t too certain about Rhianna. Tyra doesn’t know if she’s versatile. Matthew says he loves Kendal’s coloration and Tyra’s proud. And the complaints get rehashed at Liz’s shoot. ELIMINATION! I want to see someone scream if Ann gets called first again. And she gets it. And no one screams. Come on, girls! Work with me! She is joined by Kacey, Esther, Chris, Kendal, Lexie, Kayla, Jane, and Chelsey. Tyra tells her to learn how to wear the makeup. Our bottom two are Liz and Rhianna. Rhianna: Judges are worried about her versatility. Liz: Strong, edgy but a complainer. So who stays? Liz. So, suck it up and stop complaining! Tyra hugs a crying Rhianna. Tyra tells her they are looking for a girl who can change into whatever Italian Vogue wants and tells her to go practice being a chameleon.

As Rhianna hugs the girls, she confesses that she’s met great people and learned from her experience. Tyra tells her it’s beauty how much Rhianna was loved. Hear that, Kacey?

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Finally some drama! I would love to have been a fly on the wall while Kacey’s boyfriend watched that episode. I loved how the girls looked this shoot. Much better than last week. So, is anybody on Kacey’s side in this argument?

Next week: Moving runway! Lexie v. Kacey v. Liz. House drama! Yes!

Quote of the Episode:

“We honestly felt like a mixer at someone’s house and mom’s upstairs.”-Jane, about the awkward barbecue.

Begin “Taps” Now…

We’re only two weeks into the 2010-2011 television season (as, once again, no one counts that the CW’s season kicked off two weeks prior), but we have the first casualty. FOX has official cancelled show “Lone Star” after the second episode dropped in ratings.

“Lone Star” told the story of one man living two lives in Texas. In one town, he’s living with a girlfriend and is a grifter. In Houston, he’s a respectable married man…who is trying to get money out of his father-in-law. The show had been praised by critics but apparently that wasn’t enough to draw the needed numbers. Even a plea by the show’s producer couldn’t gain more viewers.

FOX has announced that the show “Lie to Me” will replace “Lone Star.”

Lies My Mother Told Me

Our second episode starts with Barney relaying another wild escapade but he stops, saying he can’t help the others use his life as an escape. They ask why and he says he can’t tell. Robin starts with “Deadliest Catch” when Barney interrupts to say that his mother is moving out of his childhood home. Ted says he understands, which confuses Marshall as Ted’s mom still lives in his childhood home. But since Ted’s mother is now married to a hippie, home doesn’t have the same feel. Barney implores his friends to come to Staten Island (Barney grew up on my home borough? Awesome!) and help him move his mother. They say no and Barney can’t believe they won’t be swayed. He got the Queen of England to fist bump him. They don’t believe that and they…

End up helping move his mother. Damn, he’s good.

CREDITS!

As Ted tries to box some of the items, Barney’s brother James comes to help. Hello, Wayne Brady! He shows Loretta and Barney pictures of his son in the Dolce and Gabana suit Barney sent his nephew. Meanwhile, Robin tells Ted she talked him up to Liz, her make-up assistant at the station. She told her that Ted was funny, good-looking and really good in bed. Really, really, really good in bed. Ted wonders if Robin may have oversold him a bit to Liz and worries about meeting her expectations.

As they pack up Barney’s old room. Lily finds his old jersey and Barney says he loved pee-wee basketball until they kicked him off the team for being too awesome. No one believes him and James backs him up…until Barney leaves the room. He admits his brother was horrible. Barney comes running back in with a letter from the Postmaster General, apologizing for losing the invitations to his 8th birthday party—which was why no one showed up and not because he threw up on a class trip. Barney leaves and Lily wonders if Barney believed everything his mother ever told him. James says yes, including the lie she told about Barney’s dad being “The Price is Right” host Bob Barker. Lily says all parents do that—like how Marshall’s mom used to say he was “sick” whenever he got too hyper and doped him up on cough syrup. And then there’s Santa Claus. Marshall says that one is to give people hope, like how they all tell Ted that he’ll meet the right girl one day and settle down. “You really think so?” Ted asks and Marshall assures him that he will.

Marshall and Lily then argue about whether or not they’ll tell their future progeny about Santa—Marshall for it and Lily against it—as James and Barney go through some old mail their mother kept. There were old Valentine’s from every girl in Barney’s class—all of whom have the same handwriting as Loretta, the Postmaster General and baseball legend “Frank” Aaron. Barney doesn’t catch on and believes that all the times the girls told him they hated him and locked him in closets, they really liked him secretly. Finally, James and Barney find a letter addressed to a Sam Gibbs. They open it to find a picture of themselves as children. On the back it reads “Your Sons.”

Dun dun dun!

Commercials.

When we come back, Loretta enters with Sloppy Joes and James asks if she knows the name of “Sam Gibbs.” She yelps then denies knowing the name, trying to sell the Sloppy Joes. But James persists and Loretta says that it isn’t “Your Sons” but “Yourson” in North Dakota, where they rode kayaks on the rapids and saved a dog. James asks why the picture looks like it was taken in their backyard rather than North Dakota. The mayor, Sam Gibbs, wanted their picture so they could build a statue to them, Loretta explains. She must’ve forgotten to send it. She continues to shill the Sloppy Joes before running into the kitchen, upset. Barney says he feels bad for that sculptor and James finally yells at him to stop believing Loretta’s lies. That Bob Barker isn’t his father, but Sam Gibbs could be.

To prove it, they grab the moving van and go out to visit Sam Gibbs in Long Island. Marshall and Lily ride up front while Robin and Ted ride in the back. I wonder how long it'll take Loretta to notice they’re gone. I mean, Staten Island to Long Island is not a quick trip. Depending where Barney grew up, they’d still have to get to the Verrazzano Bridge, take the Gowanus to the BQE and then that to the LIE. And there’s always traffic or construction on the Gowanus and the BQE, so we’re talking well over an hour here. Anyway, Robin says she’s now downplayed Ted to Liz…really, really downplayed him. He tries to tell her what to say. She sends a bunch of extremes and a bump sends them to everyone. Up front, the four laugh.

They arrive at Sam Gibbs’ Long Island house and Barney falters. He says he knows Bob Barker isn’t his dad but he needed the celebrity dad belief when he was growing up due to self-esteem issues. James rings the doorbell and veteran actor Ben Vereen answers the door. James introduces himself and asks if Sam knew Loretta Stinson in the ‘70s. Sam smiles and says he knew her. James hands him the picture they found and Ben smiles, glad to meet his son. Lily says this must be hard for Barney, but Marshall’s proud of him. Barney then calls Ben “papa” and the gang realize they’ve got trouble.

Commercials!

Barney poses with Ben and James, saying this is why he was so awesome at basketball. Barney runs to get his camera. Ben says he knew Loretta for a few months but knew James existed, finding out when the boy was two. But Loretta said she would do it by herself and he accepted it. Ted puts two and two together to realize that Ben was not Barney’s father. Lily says they’ll tell Barney gently but Marshall says to let him have this one day. They agree and let Barney have his moment as Ted takes a picture.

James and Ben learn they have some things in common and we get to hear Ben sing! Barney adds background vocals but Lily stops him. As Barney runs around the yard, James shows Ben pictures of Eli, his son. Meanwhile, Robin says Liz still wants to meet Ted, which surprises him. He realizes that Robin oversold Liz to him. She really looks like Robert DeNiro, she says. Ted’s surprised.

Back on Staten Island, Loretta tells Barney that Ben’s not his father. But she does offer him the name of his real dad. But Barney gets a clear view of his childhood—his mother’s lies about his basketball skills, cheering him up about his lack of party guests, mom dressed as Santa while Barney and James watch in awe. He rips up the paper and tells Loretta he had a father—her. She hugs him and Future!Ted tells his children that while Barney didn’t have a father growing up, he had an awesome mother and a happy childhood.

Tag: James and Ben singing while Barney slides in using a voice modulator. They leave and Barney asks if they can go camping.

While not a laugh-out-loud funfest, this episode shows that How I Met Your Mother can still combine comedy and heartfelt stories into something interesting. Of course, I still want to know who Barney’s real father is!

Quote of the Episode:

“It’s like my GI Joes are frozen in some weird Vietnam flashback.”-Ted, about what Mom and Stepdad did to his bedroom.

Sunday Schedule

Here’s a reminder what shows start today, Sunday, September 26th.

The Simpsons (FOX)

The Cleveland Show (FOX)

Family Guy (FOX)

Check your local listings.

Happy Watching!

Friday Schedule

Here’s a list of shows returning today, Friday, September 24th.

Medium (CBS)

*CSI: NY (CBS)

Smallville (CW)

Supernatural (CW)

Check your local listings.

Happy Watching!

* Once again denotes a new night for the show.

Thursday Schedule

Here is a list of shows starting today, Thursday, September 23rd.

*Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)

Private Practice (ABC)

CSI (CBS)

The Mentalist (CBS)

Bones (FOX)

30 Rock (NBC)

The Office (NBC)

Check your local listings.

Happy Watching!

* Once again, denotes a new night for the show.

Fallen An…Oh Screw It. There Are MEN in This One!

Last week: The top 14 wannabes hit their first runway—suspended four stories above the ground. Sadly, no one walked off the end. They followed this up with a photoshoot protesting bullying. Ann and Kayla excelled—and guest judge Diane von Furstenburg really loved Kayla’s “strong” word—while Terra and Anamaria fell to the bottom. Concerns about Anamaria’s weight and overall health caused her to be the first eliminated. Who follows her out the door? Find out tonight!

Wanna be on top?

Venice Beach! Oh, it looks like top girl still gets picture displayed as digital art. Also, don’t you love how they wrap these girls’ heads to hide their makeovers in the confessionals that happen after? Sara and Liz are the single mothers—Sara has a baby boy while Liz has a baby girl. Sara worries about her poor performance at the photoshoot and says she needs a signature look. Tyra would be proud! Meanwhile, Terra is upset by her near elimination.

And didn’t I tell you we’d be seeing more of Tyra now that she no longer had a talk show. She gets a tour of the house. She gushes over Liz’s baby and then ushers them into the living room. She gives them their portfolios. And then she reveals it is time for makeovers. The girls are excited and worried. Tyra knows that there is going to be tears but assures them it is just to help them become more marketable. Then Tyra can’t resist a runway, comes out of retirement briefly and walks like it’s 1994. Terra is nervous she’s going bored. Lexie, Ann, and Rhianna decide to pull a prank, by leaving a paper that they pretend is what Tyra is going to do. Lexie even pretends to be really upset by her house. Ann is surprised by how serious everyone is taking this.

Commercials!

Terra calls home and Chris jumps in to talk to their mother. Chris mentions how nervous she is regarding Terra’s meltdown last week. The Jays welcome the girls to the Fred Segal salon for makeovers. Take your bets now—who is going to cry?

Ann: Going copper and getting extensions. She looks great!

Liz: Goes short. She doesn’t love it. But Mr. Jay tells her to rock it. I think she looks nice.

Meanwhile, Chelsey starts to suspect the list was a fake. She goes lighter and they widened the gap between her teeth.

Sara: She goes chocolate. She looks great but is a bit lost.

Kendal: The cycle’s weave victim! She loves her hair though.

Terra: Ms. J tries to cheer her up. She also gets the short do. It looks wonderful but Terra doesn’t like it.

Kayla: She goes fire-engine red, which was one of her girlfriend’s stipulations. But I like it.

Chris: She can tell Terra isn’t happy. She gets wavy/curly weave. She loves it.

Esther: She talks about being raised as an Orthdox Jew. She goes dark and looks great.

Jane: She goes to blonde and looks a little like Kristen Bell.

Rhianna: Gets long blonde, wavy hair.

Kacey: Got long straight hair and contacts.

Lexie: She went strawberry blonde like she predicted but…you know what, she looks like Scarlett Pomers from “Reba”.

After the makeovers are done—sans real waterworks, dammit! Terra, couldn’t you have turned it up more?—the Jays announce the bad news. Someone is going home that night.

Dun dun dun!

We come back for the Jays to talk about the girls. They tell some of the girls the issues they saw: the doubt, the lack of confidence, the desire to maybe change what people want her to do…And Terra doesn’t even make it to the photoshoot. Mr. Jay and Ms. J tell her that they don’t see the desire. She says she wants to show them. Mr. Jay tells her to do it. She hugs everyone as she cries in confessional that she wishes they had done this before they cut her hair.

Good-bye, Terra.

America’s Next Top Model

 Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

The Jays tells the remaining 12 to embrace their makeovers and to dry their eyes.

TYRA MAIL! “It’s open thing to get on top…but can you stay there?” Someone predicts either flying or surfing. Someone else thinks floating. Chris takes her sister’s elimination badly.

The Model Mobile takes them to the beach. Where they come across Dark Angel? Close, it’s Mr. Jay as a Fallen Angel. Anne Menke is their photographer. The girls will be in a harness. They are fallen angels because of men. MEN! Cheer up, Chris—there are MEN! Each girl gets an emotion to portray.

MEN!

Kayla worries about being a lesbian but I think she can rock it.

Esther (fearless): “Screw heaven—I’m going to do what I want.” Anne tells her to connect. She does.

Liz (Power/Victory): Mr. Jay tells her to remember to look graceful. Mr. Jay doesn’t like her and her complaints.

Kayla (Evil): Told you she would rock it.

Sara (Seductive): She worries she is hanging on by a thread. Mr. Jay is not impressed. Neither is Anne.

Kacey runs into a model from her hometown.

Kacey (Rebellious): rocks it.

She flirts with the male model

Rhianna (Sultry/Hopeless): Mr. Jay likes it

Chelsey (Mysterious): Anne loved her.

DOLPHINS!

Chris (Heartbroken): Her body language is great. She looks like an angel.

Jane (Scorned): Rocks it.

Kendal (Lust/desire): told to connect with her model.

Ann (Longing): Anne and Mr. Jay looks great. She was nervous but likes it.

Lexie (Predatorial): Mr. Jay says that she keeps letting him down. She struggles with her feet and Anne doesn’t think she should model.

That’s a wrap!

TYRA MAIL! Someone (else) will be going home. Chelsey says that they are all on the same playing field. Some blame their male models. All are nervous.

LA! What is up with Tyra’s hair? She is apparently going 70s today. The girls arrive for judging. There are judges, guest judge is Patricia Field (from Sex and the City), and there are prizes. Tyra comments on their makeovers. And she heard about the prank list. Lexie, Ann and Rhianna cop to it. Nigel liked it. Liz is first.

Liz: Nigel likes her being atop. Patricia thinks the face more than body shows power.

Chelsey: Tyra is drawn to her rather than the man.

Esther: Tyra said Esther had the same face. Nigel isn’t sure.

Jane: Andre only see discomfort. Nigel doesn’t understand it.

Kacey: No one likes the shirt. Andre calls her flat. Patricia calls it pretty—as a dance.

Lexie: Nigel asks about the legs while Tyra says she didn’t emulate her emotion.

Sara: Nigel doesn’t see it. Patricia wonders if everyone just decided to dance instead of model.

Chris: Nigel loves her face. Not the body. Tyra says everyone’s film is weak and on the curve, Chris is above.

Rhianna: Nigel likes how she is looking somewhere else, how the man is a prop.

Kendal: She fails. Tyra says he looks like her son.

Kayla: Tyra loves her mouth, Andre loves the chin.

Ann: They love her. She wows me.

Tyra says the film was just a disaster. And we turn into a voice over where Tyra tells them to step it up. It probably had to be fixed in ADR, but could they make it less obvious? 

Commercials!

Andre declares the film as dreckitude. Nigel thinks Jane is all in the face. Patricia loves Rhianna. Tyra thinks Lexie is all in her head. Nigel still doesn’t like Sara’s picture. Nigel calls Chris “quirky”. Patricia loved Kayla’s shot. Nigel likes Chelsey’s shot. And Ann…is Ann. Andre compares her to Penelope Tree. ELIMINATION! She calls Kayla, Chelsey, Chris and Ann forward as the four who did very well that week. And Ann is called as the best photo! Again! She is followed by: Kayla, Chelsey, Chris, Rhianna, Liz, Jane, Kacey, Kendal, and Esther. That puts Lexie and Sara in the bottom two. Lexie: Delivered blah. Sara: Delivered ballet. So, who stays? Lexie. Nigel not liking you is the true kiss of death on this show, Sara. Tyra hugs Sara and tells her she got lost behind her makeover. She tells her to push through.

Sara hugs the girls and cries that she feels guilty for leaving her son for something that didn’t pan out. But she’s going to keep modeling. And stay brunette.

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

I have to agree that this week was an episode of blah. Hopefully it can only go uphill. Or crash and burn spectacularly. Either way, it’s going to be fun to watch. Anyway, my friend and I were talking and we both agree that what the show needs is a mentor for these girls. Yes, there’s Tyra but she’s fallen in that category since her talk show began. And even though it’s over, we still think that either Tyra needs to be a mentor or a judge. So, I’m putting up a poll. If Tyra were to share the spotlight, who would you like to see take on a mentoring role to the girls?

Next week: Beauty shoot time! With seafood?

Moment of the Episode:

Lexie’s “breakdown” over her fake makeover.

Wednesday Schedule

Here is a list of shows starting today, Wednesday, September 22nd.

Criminal Minds (CBS) 

*Law and Order: SVU (NBC)

Check your local listings.

Happy Watching!

* Once again denotes a new day for the show.

Tuesday Schedule

Here are the shows starting today, Tuesday, September 21st.

Dancing With the Stars: The Results (ABC)

NCIS (CBS) 

NCIS: LA (CBS) 

Glee (FOX) 

*One Tree Hill (CW)

Check your local listings!

Happy Watching!

* Once again denotes a new night for this show.

Take a Chance and Go for It

And it’s the start of the 2010-2011 TV season…since no one seems to really count the CW. To recap where “How I Met Your Mother” left off at the end of the 2009-2010 TV season: Marshall and Lily decided to have a baby, Don left for the Chicago anchor position Robin turned down and broke her heart, she and Ted nearly kissed but his ridiculous hair stopped them, Ted meanwhile was realizing that for the titular “I” in the title he hasn’t done much growing and Barney was just awesome. So…

Let the new season begin!

We start in the year 2030 with future Ted. He talks about two important days in a love story—meeting the girl of your dreams and marrying her. We see a title card that says “A little ways down the road” and cut to a church. We see a man in a suit carrying beer to Ted…and it’s Marshall. He says there’s a cooler stashed behind the altar. Ted says that Marshall fixed church. Marshall asks if Ted’s nervous. Ted says he just hopes it doesn’t rain and asks why. Marshall notes that Ted’s ripped apart the label on the beer, which he only does when he’s nervous.

We cut to present day where Barney bemoans the last days of summer, or the “Season of Exposed Skin.” He says good-bye to sundresses, complete with riddles while Ted grades papers. But Barney sees Ted is nervous, with a ripped beer label clearly displayed. He says there’s a cute girl sitting at the Barney and turns to see her. He tells her that there’s nothing to be nervous about and that reason can be summed up in one word: “DIBS!”

CREDITS!

Ted argues against Barney’s dibs, saying his was implied. Barney tries to give a history of “dibs” but Ted stops him, saying he’ll take Barney to court. Barney calls dibs on Marshall. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are getting ready to start making their baby, complete with hilarious music for when they are doing it. Ted says he’ll go talk to her anyway. Barney tells him to go ahead but when he gives the best man toast (over Ted’s protests that Marshall is his best man), he’ll tell everyone he had dibs. And in the accompany fantasy, everyone is horrified and the bride leaves Ted for Barney (even though we know that if Ted were really marrying the girl, she’d know what Barney was like. But this is Barney’s fantasy after all). They argue about whether the girl has shields up or not, leading to the entrance of Robin…

…Who has taken the break up pretty badly. She is slovenly, dressed in sweats and eating junk food.  Future!Ted tells us that after the break-up, she said she would try with all her might to bed Ted and he promises to refuse her. And she makes it pretty easy. Barney is shocked and disgusted. After Robin says that the girl is here on a date—hence the book—Lily and Marshall storm in. Lily tells them they were ready to make the baby but then a package came for Marshall. From his father. It was a bassinette the dad made for their baby. Lily is upset that Marshall told his father and Ted and Barney are upset when Marshall calls Dad his best friend. They argue about what they’ve done to conceive to no avail.

Ted tries to buy Barney’s dibs. He prices it at $250, 000 but settles for $20. Future! Ted reminds us of Rachel Bilson’s episode where we learn Rachel (AKA “Cindy”) is the roommate of the future Mrs. Ted Moseby. Cindy is talking to the girl at the bar.

Commercials!

Robin says that the it’s no big deal unless the date ended on bad terms. Ted remembers that Rachel doesn’t react well at school. But then he remembers about Rachel’s roommate and wonders if the girl at the bar is her. “I need to see her ankles,” he says. “You’re one of those?” Robin responds. “I swear, one in five guys.” Barney and Ted exchange looks. In a booth, Lily asks Marshall who else he’s told. We see Marshall getting ready to leave, asking “Shannon” to play the music and he walks out to fanfare. Lily is upset because Marshall’s father is always interfering. We see him starting the process for Lily to change her name to Eriksen without her knowledge, we see him offering advice when Lily and Marshall have a fight, we see him calling to tell Lily her sandwich needs pickles. Marshall argues that the sandwich did need pickles.

Robin tells Ted that now there’s a guy talking to Rachel and her friend. She says he’s cheesy. Ted thinks he’s cool. Barney thinks that Robin is jealous of Rachel’s friend, that she has what Robin lost. Robin gets indignant and leaves. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall argue some more in which Marshall reveals he’s asked his parents to come stay with them after the baby’s born—without talking to Lily. So far, Lily is far and away winning this argument. These are decisions you make with your WIFE. But Marshall is too sexually frustrated to really focus and he storms out, which leads to Rachel noticing Ted.

Commercials!

We cut back to Ted trying to hide but Rachel asks to talk to him in private. Ted agrees and asks Barney to tell his mother he loves her if Ted doesn’t return. Lily asks Barney if she’s out of line. He says that if he had his dad’s number, he’d talk to him often as well. But Barney is distracted by the entrance of some hot woman. We cut to the bar, where we see Robin in a white sundress and a man immediately comes up to her. She yells “Fourteen seconds” and declares she still has it. In the back, Rachel apologizes for how she’s been acting and tells Ted she wants to do something to make it up. Like buying him a beer or setting him up with one of her friends. She agrees and tells Ted to say good-bye.

Outside, Lily meets up with Marshall, who receives a call from his dad. Dad keeps asking Marshall if he followed everything in the book and if he’s thinking it’s a boy. Marshall hangs up and declares his dad’s insane. Lily says that Marshall and his dad are the same—they care a lot. And Lily loves that about Marshall. She says she’s worried that she can’t conceive and she’ll let Marshall down. He tells her that’s impossible, like aliens landing. He then backtracks and says that they probably have already landed. Lily stops his ranting and takes him upstairs to Ted’s I guess, not their own house.

Inside MacLaren’s, Ted decides to go for it. And so does Rachel. The friend at the bar? Is on a date with Rachel, who I guess discovers her own sexuality. The two kiss—to the shock of Ted, Robin and Barney (who captures it on camera). They leave and Future!Ted says that the woman is obviously not his children’s mother. But she did become someone’s mother. And we see her standing with a little girl…and Rachel, who looks great in that shot. No, Future!Ted says he meets the mother at the wedding we start at…

…And cut back to, with Marshall telling Ted it’s just a “best man’s toast.” But Ted’s still nervous. Lily comes out in a lovely pink dress to say that the best man is being summoned. Ted and Marshall run in as it starts to rain. Marshall asks if Ted has an umbrella and he says he doesn’t.

Tag: Marshall tells someone that he and Lily are still trying. And then he tells them to not tell Lily. The camera pans to reveal the entire neighborhood sitting there to listen to Marshall. I love it!

And we’re back! I’m not curious as to who is getting married in that scene. And why Ted is the best man. Right now, the only options are either Barney or Robin. They would explain why Lily is in an outfit that screams “bridesmaid” and why Marshall would also be in the wedding party. And the producers did say it was a game-changing wedding, which it could be if one of the two characters who are completely against the idea of marriage says “I do.” Who do you think is getting married?

Exchange of the Episode:

“Beer with you.”

“And also with you.” –Marshall and Ted outside the wedding

Now onto Dancing with the Stars to see who falls apart on the floor and who rises to the challenge. Either way—MRS. BRADY FOR THE WIN!

Monday Schedule

Here’s a reminder of shows that are starting today, Monday, September 20th.

Dancing With the Stars (ABC)

How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

Two and a Half Men (CBS) 

House (FOX)

Chuck (NBC)

Check your local listings.

Happy Watching!

“Beauty is Health”

It’s Cycle 15! Now trying to be more serious! Last week, Tyra whittled it down to the final 14. Who will be the first to get her walking papers? Find out tonight on America’s Next Top Model!

Wanna be on top?

LA! So, we’re back on the West Coast for this cycle. Chelsey and four other girls cruise Venice Beach. Anamaria views everyone as competition. And is from New York. Terra talks about coming into the competition with her sister and predicts the two as the final two. The girls meet up as Harry Perry surrounds them. He happens to be standing in front of their new house. The girls run in and are wowed. Lexie tells us that there are covers of Vogue and Italian Vogue everywhere. Chelsey loves the runway while Rhianna loves the sand on the top level.

Chris talks about them trying to settle down. She tells Ann that they are going to find her a man. She says a hobo is a type and the oldest she’ll go up to is 60. Ann says her ideal man is a warlock, spits fire and makes sushi. Ann says she’s weird. Chris looks like this is the understatement of the year. Anamaria talks about how she likes looking skinny and she’s on a diet to maintain her weight. The girls talk about boyfriends while Kayla is proud to say she’s a lesbian. She wants to be the first lesbian Top Model.

TYRA MAIL! “Your rise to the top begins in Hollywood.” IT’S ENGLISH THIS CYCLE! HALLELUJAH!

The girls go to the home of the Oscars where they meet the Jays. Mr. Jay says they will be walking in a Diane van Furstenberg fashion show. And Ms. J points out the runway—four stories in the air. She/He/It also tells them they will be doing their own hair and make-up. The girls get to use the In-Styler. Product placement begins now. Sara is glad to see they’re wearing harnesses. Mr. Jay approves the hair so far. Speaking of hair—what’s up with Ms. J’s?

Let the fashion show begin!

Ann’s up first and has a misstep on the stairs. Mr. Jay can tell she’s nervous and awkward. Lexie’s next and tries to maintain her balance. Chelsey is third. She’s just happy to be in the show. Next is Chris, who rocks the runway. Anamaria follows her. And the girl can talk the talk while walking the walk, even if she falls at the end into Mr. Jay’s arms. Sara is a true professional. Jane is next. I love her face. Not sure about the walk. Kacey’s worried because she took off her glasses. Mr. Jay gives her a tip to prevent her from falling off.

Commercials!

We’re back to Kacey, who is probably as blind as me when I take off my glasses. And she works it. The Jays are impressed. Rhianna and Liz follow her. Esther is next. She reminds me a bit of Nicole from Cycle 5 look wise. Chris walks while Terra doesn’t impress Ms. J with her walk. Kayla and Kendal follow Terra. Mr. Jay and Ms. J like her little point pose to close the show.

Mr. Jay says he’s impressed. Ms. J says there is still a lot to learn.

TYRA MAIL! “Ever been bullied? What’s the one word that hurt you the most?” Ann says that word was “giant” because of her height. Kayla says she was bullied for being gay.

The girls board the Model Mobile and goes to Smashbox Studios, where they meet Mr. Jay. He’s wearing a shirt that says “Band Geek.” He rips off the shirt to reveal “Creative Genius.” Mr. Jay says the girls will be wearing bathing suits, but the word that hurt them the worst will be written all over them. They have to show that they’ve risen above that word. Their photographer is Deborah Anderson. And here comes Tyra herself. Her shirt reads “big forehead.” She rips off her shirt to reveal “Supermodel turned Businesswoman” and on the back “with a Big Forehead.” Tyra says that bullying is a big problem and a cause of suicide amongst teen girls. She tells Ann to stop thinking “giant” and to start thinking “Amazon.”

First up is Esther. She uses weirdo as her bully word and independent as her positive word. Mr. Jay isn’t too impressed.

Rhianna: Stupid is bully word. Undefined is her positive word. Deborah isn’t impressed.

Lexie: Elf ears vs. unique

Chelsey: Casper vs. fearless.

Kacey: Oreo vs. Nubian queen. Mr. Jay says she’s not engaging in the face.

Tyra talks to Kayla about her experiences being gay.

Commercials!

We’re back to Smashbox. Kayla goes from “Queer” to “Free.” Tyra likes it. It’s Kayla taking the power back. Remember, kiddies, Tyra doesn’t have a show anymore. That means she has more time to spend with the models!

Kendal: Lanky vs. Fierce.

Jane: Big face vs. Big square head. She says it shows how awesome she can make it.

Terra: Soup cooler vs. Luscious lips. Deborah tries to help her and says she was intimidated. Terra starts to cry and Chris is worried.

Liz: Mutt vs. Biracial beauty.

Sara: Manly vs. Athletic. Deborah tells her to take it to the next level.

Ann: Giant vs. Amazon. She’s great in front of the camera.

Chris: Bony vs. Slim. Mr. Jay likes her poses.

Anamaria: Bucktooth vs. Sexy mouth. Deborah says she disappears if she turns. Anamaria tells Mr. Jay she’s trying for lean. He says she doesn’t need to. Anamaria confesses that she’s the one who looks in the mirror and sees herself. And that’s all that matters. Umm, is anybody else’s “anorexia nervosa” bells ringing?

Kayla: Queer vs. Free. Deborah loves Kayla, especially her legs. She works her eyes as well. Mr. Jay says she models through the pain.

And in comes Demi Lovato…What? She talks about being bullied and gets plug in for TeensAgainstBullying.org. For once, I’m supporting the shilling. Take a look. We’ve all been bullied at one point, myself included. It’s time to take a stand.

Commercials!

We go backstage before the panel. Tyra greets the judges. Oh lord, Andre Leon Talley is still in those robes. We have judges! Our guest judge is Diane von Furstenberg, whose outfits the girls modeled earlier in the show. There are prizes! Including Vogue Italia. Tyra tells us that the shoot was about bullying.

Lexie: Nigel is drawn to her eyes. Diane likes the attitude and Tyra says she got the exercise.

Kacey: Diane calls her a queen, strong yet vulnerable. Tyra calls her a gorgeous athlete.

Jane: Andre doesn’t like the body but loves the face. Tyra thinks she just needs to kick it up a notch.

Kayla: Nigel calls her picture beautiful. Diane loves her word choice and says she looks ready to fly. Tyra says Kayla is just going to  get better.

Liz: Nigel calls her funky and punky. Andre likes her in person but not in the photograph.

Esther: Tyra is impressed how she hides her size-G breasts.

Kendal: They love her in person. Not in the picture.

Sara: Andre doesn’t like it. Tyra isn’t sure if she likes it either.

Terra: Nigel is confused. Tyra tells her to have tried to draw attention to the mouth. Not to go for the obvious.

Chris: Diane tells her to go stronger. Nigel tells her to commit to going there.

Chelsey: Andre calls it gorgeous. The panel loves it.

Rhianna: Andre thinks she has potential. Diane tells her to lengthen the neck and to be indefinable.

Anamaria: Nigel tells her to work her angles. Tyra says she doesn’t think Anamaria looks unhealthy. Anamaria brushes it off and says she likes it. Diane says that beauty is health.

Ann: Diane yells “J’adore!” Andre calls her European. Everyone loves her. Ann says it’s overwhelming to be praised.

Commercials!

LA! The judges deliberate. Nigel calls Jane’s face her asset. They love the vulnerability in Kayla. Nigel says Ann has the ugly duckling syndrome. Nigel compares Anamaria’s size to Ann’s. Ann is natural because of her height. Anamaria’s is unnatural and a bit alarming. As long as it’s not just my anorexia nervosa bells going off. Diane would hire Kendal. Andre thinks the shoot helped the young ladies.

ELIMINATION! The first name with best photo is Ann! She is joined by: Kayla, Chelsey, Kendal, Lexie, Liz, Jane, Esther, Chris, Rhianna, Kacey, and Sara. Our first final two is Terra and Anamaria. The girls step forward. Terra: She tends to fall to the obvious. Anamaria: The judges are concerned about her body image. So, who is staying? Terra. Chris fans herself. She promises to fire it up. Terra joins the others as Anamaria hugs Tyra. She tells her that she might be healthy and can outrun Tyra, but to fix her body image. Anamaria keeps saying she likes her body but will reconsider if multiple agencies agree with Tyra.

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Next week: Makeovers!

Sorry, I do like Ann. I’ll route for the gawky beauty. I also like Kayla and Jane. We’ll see how this changes. What about you? Who are your favorites this cycle?

Now, I’m on to episode 2 of “Hellcats”!

Good-Bye, Again?

American Girl is retiring Felicity. The homepage for the company says that they will be saying good-bye to Felicity soon. The retirement will come in 2011 as the webpage says that this is her last holiday season.

So, good-bye, Felicity. This upsets me because she is my favorite American Girl. While Samantha was my first book series, I’ve always had a soft spot for Felicity. Perhaps it’s because I love Colonial and Revolutionary times so much. And now who will little girls carry around Williamsburg, VA? 

My HIMYM Prayers Have Been Answered!

No, they aren’t revealing the mother.

But my requests to give Ted a serious love interest and to stop the one-episode hussies have been heeded! Entertainment Weekly announced that Jennifer Morrison, Dr. Allison Cameron from “House, MD,” will be joining the cast of How I Met Your Mother in the recurring role of Zooey. According to the article, Zooey and Ted will clash over a historic building Zooey wants to preserve but Barney’s company wants to tear down to put their own building…that Ted’s designing. And the producers have promised some romantic overtures.

I, for one, am excited. Ted hasn’t had a serious relationship since his and Robin’s ended with the second season. I understand the 3rd season was Ted focusing on being single and Barney’s wingman again. But we’re starting up the 6th season in two weeks. It’s time to advance Ted. And I think Zooey sounds like an interesting and intriguing character. And Cameron was one of my favorite characters on House, so I’m excited to see Morrison tackle this role!

ANTM 15: VOGUE!

Yesterday, America’s Next Top Model started Cycle 15 and with that, the Fall 2010 TV season is a go.

I missed yesterday’s episode. Notice I didn’t say sadly as I’m sure I’ve made my disdain for casting episodes clear in others I’ve recapped. But the little I did catch shows that Tyra wants the fashion world to take the show seriously, so they’ve cut ties with Seventeen—good-bye, Ann Shoket?—and the winner will get the cover and two spreads in Italian Vogue.

Haute couture indeed.

But the 14 wannabes we will be rooting for, hating or trying to recall their names this time next year will be:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Good luck, girls!

Another note—The CW premiered its new show “Hellcats” behind ANTM. For a show about cheerleaders, it’s actually a lot better than the promos made it seem. Former Disney Darlings Alyson Michalka (“Phil of the Future”) and Ashley Tisdale (“The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” “High School Musical” series) are great in their roles. I’m looking forward to this show.

Tonight We Dine…

The other day, a co-worker of mine—Joe—told me some startling news. Joe, like me, is a frequent Disney visitor. He and his wife go every November. He called Disney Dining to make reservations for their trip—exactly 90 days from their vacation. But they found out something that had surprised them and he passed it along to me.

Disney had gone back to a 180 day (6 month) window for dining reservations.

When did that change? And why wasn’t there any notice about it?

So, Friday night, my dad and I focused on making our dining reservations. We tried calling, but we were ten minutes too late—the call center shuts down at 10PM EDT/EST. But we did try the Online Booking. And I must say, it was quiet easy. You can search by a park or hotel or you can find a specific place. You can also search for restaurants that are on the dining plan. Next, you select the day you would like and a desired time to make the reservation. The system will then check to see if your time is available. If it isn’t, they will find the next available time closest to your desired one. You can book your reservation then and there and specify if there are any special dietary needs or allergies of which the staff should be warned. They give you a confirmation number to keep with you.

For those who know where and when they want to eat and do not have any questions, I would suggest you use the online booking. It’s easy and quick.

We only made two reservations online—reservations for the Liberty Tree Tavern and for the Whispering Canyon Cafe in the Wilderness Lodge. We would’ve made the others, but we’re trying the Fantasmic package. My father and I felt it wiser to talk to someone for that reservation.

The next morning, I called the Disney Dining Call Center and was quickly connected to a cast member. I told her when we were going to Disney and that we wanted the Fantasmic dining package. The lady was very helpful and we were soon booked for reservations at Hollywood and Vine for the package. The cast member also helped me book the rest of our reservations for the Rose and Crown, San Angel Inn, Cape May Cafe, the Primetime Cafe, and Teppan Edo.

At the very end, I stayed on to take a survey. I felt odd answering the question “How would you rate the service you received?” Because it’s Disney, I always expect excellent service from their employees. And this one was no different.

But seriously—did anyone know that Disney had changed their reservation policy?

Congrats!

The Creative Arts Emmys have been handed out and congrats go to Betty White and Neil Patrick Harris.

White won for her turn hosting Saturday Night Live, which was a no-brainer.

NPH won two Emmys—the first was for his turn on Glee, which was great. The second was with all those behind last year’s Tony Telecast. He picked up the statuette as the show’s host.

Also, NPH will become a father with his partner in October, so another round of congratulations to him for that!

TV Premieres

I cannot believe how fast September is approaching. Before we know it, a brand new TV season will be upon us! Here is  run down of selected shows and their return dates.

* indicates a new night for the show

Sunday

The Simpsons (FOX) 9/26

The Cleveland Show (FOX) 9/26

Family Guy (FOX) 9/26

American Dad (FOX) 10/3

*CSI: Miami (CBS) 10/3

Monday

Dancing With the Stars (ABC) 9/20

How I Met Your Mother (CBS) 9/20

Two and a Half Men (CBS) 9/20

House (FOX) 9/20

Chuck (NBC) 9/20

*90210 (CW) 9/13

Gossip Girl (CW) 9/13

Tuesday

Dancing With the Stars: The Results (ABC) 9/21

NCIS (CBS) 9/21

NCIS: LA (CBS) 9/21

The Good Wife (CBS) 9/28

Glee (FOX) 9/21

*One Tree Hill (CW) 9/21

Wednesday

America’s Next Top Model (CW) 9/8

Criminal Minds (CBS) 9/22

*Law and Order: SVU 9/22

Thursday

*Big Bang Theory (CBS) 9/23

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) 9/23

Private Practice (ABC) 9/23

CSI (CBS) 9/23

The Mentalist (CBS) 9/23

The Vampire Diaries (CW) 9/9

Bones (FOX) 9/23

30 Rock (NBC) 9/23

The Office (NBC) 9/23

FRIDAY

Medium (CBS) 9/24

*CSI: NY (CBS) 9/24

Smallville (CW) 9/24

Supernatural (CW) 9/24

I highlighted only RETURNING shows, not any NEW shows. Please note if your show has moved.

I’ve decided to save my recaps for the weeks preceding the Glee season premiere so we’re all caught up and reviewed for the upcoming season. So, look for the first recap Aug. 31st.

 

On Our Way…Now With a Place to Stay!

See that above? That is the extent of my rhyming ability! Sorry if it’s a bit corny, but Dr. Seuss I am not.

We can check off another step on our path to Disney. On Thursday, my parents and I went down to the travel agency and booked our trip! Though we were considering staying in a moderate resort, after getting estimates, we’ve decided to return to our usual stomping grounds.

That’s right—it’s back to Pop Century for us!

(Building in the 80s at Pop Century)

We are also trying the dining plan this go-round, so expect a review of that from me. Hopefully, they’ve ironed out the wrinkles and the confusion we’ve seen in the past years, when we were the annoyed customers behind the people who couldn’t figure out how to use the plan.

How I Met My Co-Star

With Don taking the job in Chicago, breaking poor Robin’s heart, our favorite early early EARLY morning newscaster needs a new co-anchor.

Enter Laura Bell Bundy, who was nominated for a Tony for her role as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde The Musical. According to reports, she’s been cast in How I Met Your Mother as Robin’s new co-anchor who may have a storyline with Ted. Maybe she’s the mother? Maybe she’ll be a girlfriend Ted keeps around for more than one episode? Either way, I’m excited for this casting news. I’ve seen Bundy in both “Wicked” (as Glinda) and Legally Blonde. She’s a good comedic actress and will serve as a nice foil to Robin.

So, all this casting news is making me excited for the new season!

Mama Who Bore Me

The next season of “Glee” gets better and better…And it’s only August 4th!

Reports are saying that “Glee” mastermind Ryan Murphy has cast legendary actress Carol Burnett as Sue Sylvester’s (Jane Lynch) mom!

If this is true, the episode(s) she will be in will be great. You know with Sue’s personality, her mother is even more brash and bitchy. And I can just see Carol Burnett camping the role out magnificently.

Oh, I hope they give her and Lynch a great duet to do!

Either way, this makes September 21st seem so far, far away.

On Our Way…

I’m going to Walt Disney World in January!

And now you’re all heading for the door.

So, for those of you who are staying, here’s how the vacation plans are going:

My father, in true form, has already booked our flights to Orlando and back home. Once again, we’ll be flying JetBlue but won’t be leaving at the crack of dawn, as we usually do. While this means that your favorite non-morning person blogger gets to sleep late, it also means that there is a higher chance of the flight being delayed. It also means that we’ll lose more time in the parks, but it is only day one.

And Epcot does have evening Extra Magical Hours that day.

Where are we staying? We don’t know yet. Since we’re going at off-peak, it means the rates are lower. So we don’t have to stay in Pop Century and can upgrade, if we want. I’m pulling for Port Orleans, either the Riverside or French Quarter side. I don’t know what my parents are considering, but we can’t find anything on the Disney website past December 31, 2010.

What gives Disney?

Stay tuned for more vacation plans!

Deep in the Heart of Texas!

Sam goes to spend a weekend full of music in Austin, Texas!

Friday night: Southern Converse Avenue is full of tattoos, neon and hot rods. It looks like you stepped back in time to the 1950s. Sam hits the Continental and gets to go upstairs to meet the artists. She meets a local blues legend, Gary. Sam tries to jam with him but can’t keep up. Sam wonders how he can be able to really play the blues at such a young age but he says he can.

Saturday morning: Sam goes to Jo’s for some coffee and music. Sam meets Kinky, another local music legend. He says he’s been performing in Austin since Christ was a cowboy. They get some breakfast and enjoy the house band. Sam then hits Sixth Street and walks into a…tattoo parlor? Oh, she’s just getting a henna tattoo. Sam notices hula hoops, which the owner keeps it out so people waiting can keep entertained. She also teaches hula hooping. After a quick lesson, Sam gets a henna tattoo of the lotus. She tells Sam her tattoo means whatever she wants it to mean. So what does our girl decide on? “Buy me a beer.” That’s our Sam!

Coming up: Sam takes a dip.

Saturday afternoon: Sam decides to spend some time outdoors and goes to Lady Bird Lake. Sam joins John at the Barton Springs, an Austin institution according to John. Sam gets in and it is cold. Rather than a morning jog, some people take a morning dip in the springs. John does a cannonball into the springs, causing Sam to laugh.

After getting out of the springs, Sam goes to Lockhart to eat at Smitty’s Market. It is Texas barbecue, complete with giant fire. She meets the pit master, who is the grandson of the founder. San is surprised the Market still accepts checks. Sam eats with two locals, though one is a vegetarian. He says he comes for the cole slaw. Sam gets a food coma and learns the vegetarian is the designated driver.

Coming up: Bats.

Saturday night: Sam stands by the Bat Signal, leading to the Bat Bridge. There’s an audience. Bats moved in to the bridge once Austin redesigned it. And as the Ride of the Valkyries plays, 5.5 million bats fly out of the bridge. It’s a swarm and the creatures of the night inspire Sam to hit the town rather than hit the hay. She goes to Broken Spoke to experience some honky-tonk. Many have stopped by the place and the owner shows her pictures of Willie Nelson over the years. He even serenades Sam about his place. Sam gets to be apart of a tradition—she pushes the wheel to get the party started. She gets a private lesson on the two-step and dances the night away.

Coming up: Cars and Chickens?

Sunday morning: Sam goes down to an annual Austin festival celebrating cars. Like his club, the festival founded by the Continental owner are inspired by the 1950s. He introduces her to Sweet Nadine and gives her a spin in the Black Dahlia.

Sunday afternoon: Sam spends her last hours in Austin in Little Longhorn. You can drink, dance, listen to music, play dominoes and ever tailgate in the parking lot. Sam joins some of the Austinites outside. But the real draw on Sundays is Bingo. And not just any type of bingo. You put money into a pot, pick a number and if a chicken poops on your number—you win!

Eww.

Sam doesn’t win and she grabs her bags to leave. But first, she gets waylaid by some friends of the tattoo artist who gave her her henna tattoo. Turns out they wrote a song for her because she saved them when they were stuck in a blizzard. They play their song for her and Sam says “adios” to Austin.

Sam’s weekend in Austin looked like great fun. If I go, I’m not going in the summer—too hot! But it seems a car ride across the US is in order.