ANTM: One False Step

Last time on “ANTM”: The final four had to write a commercial for the Jamaican Tourism Board. And then perform it on horseback. Leila has a freakout while Laura is a natural. But Kiara wins the challenge. Then they shoot an ad for “Dream Come True.” At panel, Kelly and Rob argued a lot. Kiara and Leila made it to the finale while Laura and Nastasia made it to the bottom two. In the end, Laura rounded out the finale three while Nastasia was sent packing.

After a season of more WTF-ery than usual from P’Trique to Bryanboy to social media to Victoria, it’s time to reveal who will be America’s Next Top Model. Will it be Laura, the daughter of a soap star and model who has had her ups and downs? Or Kiara, who had a rough childhood and has pulled herself up to succeed? Or Leila, who was eliminated but brought back by viewers’ votes? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

ANTM: Finger-Licking Eww

Last time on “ANTM”: Everyone was reeling over Leila’s elimination. Except Brittany, who was steamed because she thought Bryanboy was upset she stayed over Leila. Why she cared what he thought, God only knows. He’s not even a real judge anyway. The girls met Chrissy Teigen, did some motion capture for a video game, Laura won the challenge and Victoria was annoyed with a low challenge score. Next, they did a steampunk-inspired shoot with an owl. While on set, Yvonne’s annoyance was taken out on Bryanboy. So at panel, while Laura flew high, Yvonne and Victoria fell into the bottom two. And Yvonne got kicked off. Seven girls remain, who gets eliminated this week? Find out!

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ANTM: It's a Hoot!

Last time on “ANTM”: Alicia Keys stopped by to have the girls walk in a fashion show for her charity. It was a challenge which Kiara won. Then the girls posed as cheerleaders where we learned Laura had a fear of heights. This was after she had let Kristin share the Tyra Suite with her rather than BFF Leila and they had a big fight where Leila accused Laura of being self-centered and Laura broke down. But Leila ended up falling to the bottom with Brittany at panel and she was sent home. Eight girls remain; who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!

Wannabe on top?

ANTM: Girl on Fire

Last time on ANTM: Tyler Perry showed up to help with an acting challenge. Despite the fact I still think Yvonne or even Victoria should’ve won, Kiara won. But she wasn’t the biggest bitch on the show this week. That went to Kristin, who needled Destiny and talked back to Johnny. The girls portrayed zombies. Lauren rose to the top while Destiny and Yvonne fell to the bottom. In the end, Destiny was sent to join Jessie and Darian in an attempt to get back in the competition. Nine girls remain, who gets eliminated tonight? Find out!

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ANTM: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Last time on ANTM: The girls adjusted to living in their new house as Tyra showed them around. Including the Tyra Suite. Rob shows up to take them to their first challenge—working it at a club! Yvonne wins and gets to stay in the Tyra Suite. Shenae Grimes is their photographer as they pretend to be mounted on a wall. At panel, social media comes into play as the judges rank the girls. In the end, Leila gets the best photo and access to the Tyra Suite. Meanwhile, Destiny and Jessie fall to the bottom. But the public liked Destiny more than Jessie and she is sent home. Except not! She can compete to come back into the competition! Who joins her? Find out!

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ANTM: School’s In Session

It’s a new cycle? Already? CW’s starting early. Huh. Okay, y’all! Time for Top Model. Buckle up, Auntie Tyra’s driving again.

Oh, they’ve gone back to “The Girl Who…” titles again.

Tyra’s a graduate of Harvard! And so she’s doing a college cycle! Because, you know, that’s an age group that’s never been represented before on this show. Please note the sarcasm.

The girls arrive at a sorority house? That’s what it looks like. They are wearing shirts with their college name on them. I don’t want to see my alma mater there. Maria (Harvard) talks about how the college cycle will show girls they can be models and not stupid. Too bad Tyra has always eliminated the smart girls before.

Rule Britannia/America the Beautiful

This cycle on ANTM: Despite being called “America’s Next Top Model,” Tyra brought over 7 former Britain’s Next Top Model contestants to compete with 7 new American contestants. There was a new judge—Kelly Cutrone, who many in the audience already hated from her other times on reality shows. The contestants survived each other’s food, the invasion of the Kardashians (actually the Jenners—it was Kris, Kendall and Kylie), odd makeovers, two girls quitting spectacularly, Laura’s overt sexuality and a photoshoot on top of Macau’s tallest building in gale force winds. In the end, one Brit (Sophie) and one American (Laura) remains. Who will be America’s Next Top Model? Find out!


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When You Wish Upon a Perfume Bottle…

Last time on ANTM: The final five met Chinese action star/pop star Nicholas Tse. Laura immediately wanted to have sex with him. She ended up winning the acting challenge and later, Eboni says that Laura is sleeping her way to the top. While she was playing along with the joking (and repeating what some viewers were thinking), Laura decides to flip out on Eboni. The girls have to model on top of a frickin’ tall tower, outside, with Nigel Barker. Sophie and Alisha have nervous breakdowns, Annaliese and Laura are excited and Eboni is just meh. At panel, Laura got first photo while Alisha and Eboni ended up in the bottom two. Eboni was eliminated but Alisha asked to leave. She did so, but Eboni was not saved. Three models remain, who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!


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I Think I’d Like to Change My Table

Last week on ANTM: The Brits had some fun with Laura’s beloved teddy, not knowing it was a gift from her now dead best friend. When it appeared that Kyle was pushing the ear away in the pool (and it’s a pool, not the freaking ocean, go and fish it out!), Laura flips out and decides that Kyle is dead to her. Lisa shows up to tell the girls they will be making music videos. The Brits got Girls Aloud member Nadine Coyle as a mentor while the Americans got Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta as theirs. Tyra taught the girls the art of the booty tooch but AzMarie refused to wear her butt pads. She ended up in the bottom two with Kyle who fell flat during the music video. In the end, you do not mess with Tyra and AzMarie was sent home. Who will go home tonight? Find out!


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Never Mouth Back to Tyra

Last week on ANTM: There was no episode as One Tree Hill aired its two-hour series finale.


Two weeks ago on ANTM: Mr. Jay invited the remaining wannabes up to Canada for Toronto Fashion Week! The girls were sent to book some runways. Eboni and Sophie both booked four shows each while Catherine, Ashley and Seymone booked none. At the fashion show, Kyle and Laura were kicked off their show while Seymone moaned about not getting picked. Mr. Jay gave her a pep talk. The next day, Eboni and Sophie won the challenge and the wannabes had to pose in fake leaves while maple syrup was poured over them. Eboni and AzMarie rose to the top of the Americans while Sophie was the only Brit to place high in call-out. Catherine and Ashley were in the bottom two and my heart was broken when Ashley was sent back to Scotland. Nine girls remain, who will get eliminated tonight? Find out!


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I Be Like Woah!

This past cycle on ANTM: Tyra brought back our favorite Top Model contestants…and Alexandria from last cycle. Tyra’s subjected them to Kardashians, Mario Lopez, music videos, her crazy antics, and Tyra’s own book. There are three girls left: Allison, Angelea and Lisa. Who will win the dubious honor again? Find out!

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Tyra is a Best-Selling Author?!

Last time on ANTM: Ms. J caused DRAMA by making the girls critique each other. Dominique led the others in a round of “Why Angelea Won’t Win” and Angelea stormed out. But Ms. J let her have her moment before saying Laura won the challenge. Nigel took their pictures as Olympic athletes. Laura took the gold while Dominique and Angelea failed to place. In the end, Dominique was sent home for being “unmemorable.” You know, the same thing that sent Brittany home in Week 1. Four wannabes remain, who won’t make it to the finale? Find out!

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The Fashion Olympics

Last week on Top Model: The top six models went to Greece. The models had to give a press conference where Angelea asked where the bathroom was. Allison impressed the Greek officials the most and won free bling. Mr. Jay then put the wannabes into lingerie and had them pose in a Greek salad. Even though the lingerie looked like bathing suits, Shannon refused to model them once she heard the word “underwear.” At panel, she fell into the bottom two with Laura. However, Shannon has never won a challenge or gotten first photo so she was sent home. Five wannabes remain, who is told “exo” this week? Find out!

(PS: “Exo” is Greek for “out”)

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(Don’t) Beat It!

Last week: Kayla had a racing heart and ended up in the hospital. When she came home, they went to the set of CSI to audition for showrunner Anthony Zuiker. And he’s awesome. The girls stumbled over the large words, but Lisa just bombs. Bre wins a role on CSI. They then had a shoot with Express, in which Bianca said she knew better than anybody else. At judging, Angelea rose to the top while Lisa and Camille fell into the bottom two. But Lisa stuck around, hopefully bringing more flashbacks of Cousin Itt with her, as Camille was sent packing. Who won’t reach the top tonight? Find out!

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Pick Your Brand

Last week on Top Model: Fourteen former Top Model contestants were brought back by Tyra to have a second chance at being on top. They did a blink-and-you-missed it photoshoot, except for the bit where Shannon refused to wear shorts because they were lace and looked like underwear. The girls were forced to endure a live judging, where Alexandria learned that the fandom actually hates her. In the end, the judges and fans loved fierce Isis and quirky Allison. They didn’t like Alexandria but no one remembered Brittany, so her drunk self was sent home. Thirteen All-“Stars” remain, who is going home again tonight?

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Tripping and Slipping to the Top

This cycle on ANTM: Tyra punked the 14 wannabes and me by not doing a casting episode. She made the top 14 think they were losers until revealing that they were in their new house. Alexandria soon showed her colors as the house bitch leading to a confrontation at a challenge witnessed by Nigel. Brittani had a meltdown at panel and got the redemption arc. Meanwhile, Ondrei walked out before makeovers due to unresolved family issues. Otherwise, despite multiple chances to get scorched, the girls survived to make each panel, their numbers dwindled as the final five got to go to Morocco. Now, we’re down to the final two: Molly, an adopted girl with gorgeous looks but an anger management problem and Brittani, an editorial girl who needs to cry to get emotional on set. Who will win? Find out!

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So, remember Molly’s awful makeover? I think I found the inspiration. I get American Life Network (ALN) and they’ve been running reruns of “Chicago Hope.” In one episode, Lauren Holly had hair that looked just like Molly’s makeover. And it didn’t look good on Holly either. 

Dragging Through the Mud

Last time on ANTM: Alexandria was a bitch. But Monique was a bigger bitch for reading Alexandria’s diary. Meanwhile, Kasia, Mikaela and Brittani won the Cover Girl website challenge. Then the girls modeled Rachel Zoe’s faux fur collection while holding a baby jaguar. At judging, Zoe joined the panel to comment on the wannabes. Hannah, Brittani and Jaclyn were amongst the best while Molly and Dayla were amongst the worst. In the end, Dayla got sent home. Who will join her tonight? Find out!

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It’s a Jungle Out There

Last time on Top Model: Alexandria was a bitch. The models hit a fiery runway, but sadly no one was even singed let alone burned. Dayla won the challenge but Kasia, Sara and Hannah were the worst of the worst. So they had to walk home. Next, the girls had to film a commercial for Fierce Roast Coffee in a Mad Men-inspired spot. Kasia, Hannah and Jaclyn were considered the best while Sara and Alexandria fell into the bottom two. Despite being pushy on the set, Alexandria was kept over Sara, who just didn’t believe enough. Nine girls remain, who gets the designer boot tonight? Find out!

When Weaves Attack

Last week on ANTM: The girls had to deal with their inner demons. This caused most girls to have cathartic relief. However, it caused Ondrei to question if she should really be in the competition while grieving the deaths of her brothers. They have a photo shoot with real bees and then at panel, Ondrei asks to leave. Tyra lets her and an elimination hangs on how bad Ondrei’s picture was. Hannah and Brittani rise to the top while Nicole and Dayla fall into the bottom two. Since Ondrei’s picture was actually decent, Nicole is sent home as well. So, who will be sent home tonight? Who cares! It’s makeover week! Let the meltdowns commence!

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The Buzz of Success

Last week on ANTM: Tyra punked the wannabes and myself. Rather than a casting episode, they just went straight to it. The girls had to pose for pictures back stage before hitting the runway in a hamster ball on water. Model Erin Wasson was the first guest judge. Molly and Brittani rose to the top while Angelia and Dominique fell to the bottom. In the end, Angelia was the first sent home. Who will get the boot tonight? Find out!

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