ANTM: Who Will She Choose?

Last week: Tyra psyched us out and only had the two photo shoots. But first we learned nobody really liked Jourdan as only Chris supported her. But then money lured Mike to switch alliances from Cory to Jourdan. As the final three prepared to walk in the final runway, the judges appeared. Someone was not walking as a finalist. Who will it be? Marvin, the janitor’s son who cried at the drop of a hat? Jourdan, the young woman who didn’t endear herself to her fellow models? Cory, the androgynous model who Rob wanted to be more masculine? And who will ultimately be America’s Next Top Model? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: Where Do You Put Your Support?

This cycle on America’s Next Top Model: THERE WERE GUYS! Marvin had no game until like last week when he and Renee may or may not have had sex! Jeremy idolized Jourdan until she kept going on about how he was obsessed with her and pretty much turned him off. Nina liked Chris but then he upset her and then no one liked Chris. Phil kept being called a “sexy Jesus” and kept flirting with Jiana despite having a girlfriend. And in between, there was actual modeling going on as well! Once the models got to Bali, their numbers dwindled until there was three. Who will be America’s Top Model—Jourdan, Cory or Marvin? Find out!

Top Model!

Wait, this is only part one of the finale? And according to my guide, part two isn’t airing right behind it. That means I still have to tune in next week to find out who won?

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BALI! Jourdan’s picture is on display and she notes this is her fifth time getting the first photo. Cory and Marvin celebrate being the top two guys. He says he’s not going to be happy until he wins it all. Cory says they all represent a different side of the industry—Jourdan is the classic beauty, Marvin is the youthful male and Cory is the androgynous male. Marvin, meanwhile, is glum that he didn’t get a kiss goodbye from Renee last week. But the other two remind him that Chris is gone.

ANTM: Bats!

Last week on “ANTM:” It wasn’t on. They debuted Katy Perry’s new album instead. So…

Two weeks ago on “ANTM:” Everybody hated Chris! Marvin and Renee became Marnee! Everyone posed in a rice patty! Then they went to go visit elephants! At panel, Jourdan rose to the top while Nina, Jeremy and Chris H fell into the bottom. In a double elimination, Nina and Jeremy were sent packing. Five contestants remain, who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: The “Preposterous” Elephants

Remember Jade from Cycle 6? And when she thought elephants were related to dinosaurs?

Good times.

Last week on “ANTM:” The models flew to Bali! No one liked Chris H! Don had a panic attack and Nina revealed she had some of her lung taken out so they couldn’t do the underwater runway challenge. Then they had to pose with animals. Nina rose to the top while Don and Marvin fell to the bottom. In the end, Don was eliminated. Seven contestants remain, who will be eliminated? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: Bali Hai

Last week on “ANTM:” Jeremy was revealed to the be the male contestant entering back into the competition. The contestants had to film a commercial with some crazy direction. Jourdan won the challenge. There was a large fight over dirty dishes. Then a photoshoot featuring Zendaya in which the models had to turn flaws into assets. Nina rose to the top while Chris H. and Alexandra fell into the bottom. And Alexandra had to leave the stage due to a heart condition. Alexandra was eliminated again and won’t be going to Bali. Eight models remain, who will be eliminated first in Bali? Find out!

Top Model!

The contestants return to the house and pack up their stuff to go to Bali! Marvin’s excited to leave the country; Don says the stress of the competition is getting to him. Jourdan and Renee still think the other is her competition. Nina isn’t sure where her relationship with Chris H stands while he’s glad he wasn’t sent home as he has no home to go to. Because, you know, him mom threw him out when he turned 18. Everyone gets on the model mobile to head to the airport as we head to credits.

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ANTM: Flawsome

Last time on "ANTM": The models went on go-sees to try and book fashion shows. Jourdan and Marvin didn't book any and Jourdan didn't understand because they kept saying it was because her walk was "too good." Tyra eventually clued her in that it was a polite way of saying she was too bland. Renee won the challenge before they posed in a field with mirrors. Chris H rose to the top while Marvin and Phil fell to the bottom. Phil was eliminated but had a chance to comeback right then! Alexandra was revealed to be the comeback kid...for the girls. As Phil, Mike and Jeremy awaited their fate, the episode ended. Who will come back? Who will be eliminated? Find out! 

Top Model! 

ANTM: The Comeback Kid

Last week on “Top Model:” Marvin cried. Nonstop. Kelly tested them on their fashion knowledge…while they were in their underwear. For every correct answer, the contestants earned money to spend to put together an outfit. Don charmed his way to a challenge win. Then they had to pose while paint was thrown on them. Jourdan rose to the top again while Phil and Jiana ended up in the bottom two. Jiana was eliminated as Phil gets to model another day. Eight contestants remain, who goes home tonight? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: Big Boys Don’t Cry

Last time on “ANTM:” The boys decide to prank the girls, who are pretty cool about it. Phil goes crazy on a shoot, annoying Kelly to no end. Cory’s team won only because Don’s team didn’t put Nina in a shoot featuring women’s clothing. Then Nina and Chris H fought it and it looks like China is on the skids. At a photoshoot about nail art, J2 hits the skids too. Kanani though is still freaked out about the clowns the boys hid in her room the night before. While Jourdan rises to the top, Jeremy and Kanani are sent packing in a double elimination. Nine models remain, who is eliminated tonight? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: Nail It

Last time on “ANTM:” Jourdan couldn’t figure out how to evenly distribute phone time and then spent longer trying to calm down her boyfriend. This led to fighting and no doubt the producers cackling in joy. Perez Hilton and Bryanboy interview people on the street for…reasons…and Jeremy won a date with Jourdan. Which was pretty much Jourdan yammering on about her past. Then the wannabes then had to film a fragrance commercial while portraying the opposite sex. Cory was in his element and rose to the top while Alexandra and Jiana fell to the bottom. In the end, Alexandra was sent packing. Eleven contestants remain, who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!

Top Model

ANTM: Dude Looks Like a Lady

Last week on “ANTM:” Chris H had a heart-to-heart with the rest of the house and most people accepted his explanation of why he was weird. He also has a blossoming friendship with Nina, who had a swollen ankle. The models had to walk a revolving turntable and no one got seriously hurt. And then they had to pose in a trailer park. Marvin has no game. Though he does cop to his crush on Jiana at panel. Jourdan rose to the top while Mike and Jeremy fell to the bottom two. In the end, Mike was eliminated. Twelve models remain, who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: You Know You’re a Redneck When…

Last week on “Top Model:” MAKEOVERS! Before that though, Tyra and Rob taught the model wannabes about “chemistry.” They then posed in pictures with Alessandra Ambrosio. As for makeovers, Cory went bald! Nina went red! Jourdan went blonde! Phil turned into Jesus! Marvin still has no game! In the end, Mike rose to the top while Chlea and Don fell into the bottom two. Chlea was eliminated but wait! She could come back like last year! Thirteen contestants remain, who is eliminated tonight? Find out!

Top Model!

ANTM: Manscaping Causes Manspain

Last week on “ANTM:” No one died as the models walked down the side of a building for a fashion show. Chlea earned the wrath of Kelly. Marvin had no game with the ladies. Bianca had a crush on Mike, who was giving Season 5 Lisa a run for her money in alcohol consumption. They posed in non-traditional marriage photos. Don and Marvin exceled while Mike, Bianca and Chris S fell to the bottom. Bianca and Chris were both eliminated. Fourteen contestants remain, who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!

Top Model!

Chlea complains about Kelly and how she talked to her. She said her mother kicked her out and she wasn’t going to be controlled. Renee is like, “Be smart. It’s a game.” Phil and Jiana talk about the hormones and Marvin is still trying to get with the girls. Cory is over it. Uh oh. No, Cory! You’re getting the goner edit!

Wanna be on top?

ANTM: I Think I Wanna Marry You

Last week: Time for a new cycle! And this time, Tyra is letting men join the competition. We met some good looking ones, some quirky ones and some crazy ones. Tyra flew the top 35 out to LA to walk in a fashion show where they had to kiss their partner and pose. After the requisite sob stories, the judges reduced the number to 26. The final 26 pose on the side of a building for people to vote and the judges whittle it down to the final 16. Chris H has some very poor bonding skills, as his idea is to punch other guy’s nuts, and Jeremy is infatuated with Jourdan. The top sixteen are revealed and will now have to walk down a building. Who will fall to their death? Who will be eliminated? FIND OUT!

Tyra points to the roof of the building as some guy walks down it with the assist of a harness. She reveals this is a challenge and like last year, they will be ranked. Jiana is nervous that they will be walking in heels and says she hasn’t even told her mom she’s in the competition let alone about to die in it. Don’s scared of heights and is looking a bit unsure.

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ANTM: THERE ARE MEN, YOU GUYS!

I’m not liveblogging the casting episodes because…well…you all know how I feel about casting episodes. So regular recaps will resume next week with the first proper episode.

But here are my thoughts!

I don’t see how the boys will bring something new to the program except increased hormones. Each fills an archetype we’ve seen on the show before: the overconfident one, the poor one, the socially awkward one, etc. But there was some flirting already. We need to keep our eye on Jourdan and Jeremy. I smell reality show love!

ANTM: One False Step

Last time on “ANTM”: The final four had to write a commercial for the Jamaican Tourism Board. And then perform it on horseback. Leila has a freakout while Laura is a natural. But Kiara wins the challenge. Then they shoot an ad for “Dream Come True.” At panel, Kelly and Rob argued a lot. Kiara and Leila made it to the finale while Laura and Nastasia made it to the bottom two. In the end, Laura rounded out the finale three while Nastasia was sent packing.

After a season of more WTF-ery than usual from P’Trique to Bryanboy to social media to Victoria, it’s time to reveal who will be America’s Next Top Model. Will it be Laura, the daughter of a soap star and model who has had her ups and downs? Or Kiara, who had a rough childhood and has pulled herself up to succeed? Or Leila, who was eliminated but brought back by viewers’ votes? Find out!

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ANTM: No More Horsin’ Around

Last time on “ANTM:” Kristin was nastier than usual. The remaining five went on a photoshoot for Cedella Marley and Leila got attacked by a dolphin. But she still won the challenge. Next, Tyra took pictures of the girls in a waterfall. At panel, Leila and Kiara rose while Laura and Kristin fell. After a confrontation between Kiara, Leila and Kristin, the latter was sent home. Four girls remain, who is eliminated tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

ANTM: Attack of the Dolphin

Last time on “ANTM”: Tyra revealed Leila was the girl coming back into the competition. The others girls were sent home while the final six went to Jamaica! Male models met them and Kiara fell for Korey. They competed in a dance competition, which Nastasia and Kiara won. Losers Kristin and Laura just spent the episode badmouthing everyone else in confessional. Then they posed with Rob and one of their male models on a raft. At panel, Nastasia rose to the top while Kiara and Victoria fell to the bottom two. In the end, Victoria was eliminated. Five girls remain, who goes home tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

ANTM: Jamaica!

Last time on “ANTM”: The girls went on go-sees! Brittany and Victoria booked nothing though they only showed Victoria going on about it. And she confronted the other girls about calling her out at panel. It all got very middle school, very fast. Next, Kiara had to relive her shoplifting past when the photoshoot was done inside a prison. Laura rose to the top while Brittany and Victoria fell to the bottom. Brittany was eliminated BUT went into another judging with the other eliminated girls to see who comes back into the competition. Five girls will become six tonight. Who stays? Who goes? Find out!

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ANTM: Crimes of Fashion

Last time on “ANTM": Bryanboy sent the girls on a road trip to Palm Springs. Along the way, they had to do some random acts of modeling and make videos for Nylon TV. Kiara swore Victoria sabotaged her while Victoria thought Kiara wasn’t being fair. Their team didn’t win and Laura won the challenge overall. Johnny showed up to direct their photoshoot where they had to be nasty, dirty girls. Back at home, the girls worry about Victoria’s eating habits. Victoria herself admits she’s stressed and that food has no taste. At panel, Tyra listens to the girls’ concerns and warns Victoria. Nastasia received best photo while Laura and Allyssa landed in the bottom two. Clearly, Allyssa was the choice to be booted. Six girls remain, who gets eliminated tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

ANTM: Finger-Licking Eww

Last time on “ANTM”: Everyone was reeling over Leila’s elimination. Except Brittany, who was steamed because she thought Bryanboy was upset she stayed over Leila. Why she cared what he thought, God only knows. He’s not even a real judge anyway. The girls met Chrissy Teigen, did some motion capture for a video game, Laura won the challenge and Victoria was annoyed with a low challenge score. Next, they did a steampunk-inspired shoot with an owl. While on set, Yvonne’s annoyance was taken out on Bryanboy. So at panel, while Laura flew high, Yvonne and Victoria fell into the bottom two. And Yvonne got kicked off. Seven girls remain, who gets eliminated this week? Find out!

Wanna be on top?