And it’s the start of the 2010-2011 TV season…since no one seems to really count the CW. To recap where “How I Met Your Mother” left off at the end of the 2009-2010 TV season: Marshall and Lily decided to have a baby, Don left for the Chicago anchor position Robin turned down and broke her heart, she and Ted nearly kissed but his ridiculous hair stopped them, Ted meanwhile was realizing that for the titular “I” in the title he hasn’t done much growing and Barney was just awesome. So…
Let the new season begin!
We start in the year 2030 with future Ted. He talks about two important days in a love story—meeting the girl of your dreams and marrying her. We see a title card that says “A little ways down the road” and cut to a church. We see a man in a suit carrying beer to Ted…and it’s Marshall. He says there’s a cooler stashed behind the altar. Ted says that Marshall fixed church. Marshall asks if Ted’s nervous. Ted says he just hopes it doesn’t rain and asks why. Marshall notes that Ted’s ripped apart the label on the beer, which he only does when he’s nervous.
We cut to present day where Barney bemoans the last days of summer, or the “Season of Exposed Skin.” He says good-bye to sundresses, complete with riddles while Ted grades papers. But Barney sees Ted is nervous, with a ripped beer label clearly displayed. He says there’s a cute girl sitting at the Barney and turns to see her. He tells her that there’s nothing to be nervous about and that reason can be summed up in one word: “DIBS!”
CREDITS!
Ted argues against Barney’s dibs, saying his was implied. Barney tries to give a history of “dibs” but Ted stops him, saying he’ll take Barney to court. Barney calls dibs on Marshall. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are getting ready to start making their baby, complete with hilarious music for when they are doing it. Ted says he’ll go talk to her anyway. Barney tells him to go ahead but when he gives the best man toast (over Ted’s protests that Marshall is his best man), he’ll tell everyone he had dibs. And in the accompany fantasy, everyone is horrified and the bride leaves Ted for Barney (even though we know that if Ted were really marrying the girl, she’d know what Barney was like. But this is Barney’s fantasy after all). They argue about whether the girl has shields up or not, leading to the entrance of Robin…
…Who has taken the break up pretty badly. She is slovenly, dressed in sweats and eating junk food. Future!Ted tells us that after the break-up, she said she would try with all her might to bed Ted and he promises to refuse her. And she makes it pretty easy. Barney is shocked and disgusted. After Robin says that the girl is here on a date—hence the book—Lily and Marshall storm in. Lily tells them they were ready to make the baby but then a package came for Marshall. From his father. It was a bassinette the dad made for their baby. Lily is upset that Marshall told his father and Ted and Barney are upset when Marshall calls Dad his best friend. They argue about what they’ve done to conceive to no avail.
Ted tries to buy Barney’s dibs. He prices it at $250, 000 but settles for $20. Future! Ted reminds us of Rachel Bilson’s episode where we learn Rachel (AKA “Cindy”) is the roommate of the future Mrs. Ted Moseby. Cindy is talking to the girl at the bar.
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Robin says that the it’s no big deal unless the date ended on bad terms. Ted remembers that Rachel doesn’t react well at school. But then he remembers about Rachel’s roommate and wonders if the girl at the bar is her. “I need to see her ankles,” he says. “You’re one of those?” Robin responds. “I swear, one in five guys.” Barney and Ted exchange looks. In a booth, Lily asks Marshall who else he’s told. We see Marshall getting ready to leave, asking “Shannon” to play the music and he walks out to fanfare. Lily is upset because Marshall’s father is always interfering. We see him starting the process for Lily to change her name to Eriksen without her knowledge, we see him offering advice when Lily and Marshall have a fight, we see him calling to tell Lily her sandwich needs pickles. Marshall argues that the sandwich did need pickles.
Robin tells Ted that now there’s a guy talking to Rachel and her friend. She says he’s cheesy. Ted thinks he’s cool. Barney thinks that Robin is jealous of Rachel’s friend, that she has what Robin lost. Robin gets indignant and leaves. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall argue some more in which Marshall reveals he’s asked his parents to come stay with them after the baby’s born—without talking to Lily. So far, Lily is far and away winning this argument. These are decisions you make with your WIFE. But Marshall is too sexually frustrated to really focus and he storms out, which leads to Rachel noticing Ted.
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We cut back to Ted trying to hide but Rachel asks to talk to him in private. Ted agrees and asks Barney to tell his mother he loves her if Ted doesn’t return. Lily asks Barney if she’s out of line. He says that if he had his dad’s number, he’d talk to him often as well. But Barney is distracted by the entrance of some hot woman. We cut to the bar, where we see Robin in a white sundress and a man immediately comes up to her. She yells “Fourteen seconds” and declares she still has it. In the back, Rachel apologizes for how she’s been acting and tells Ted she wants to do something to make it up. Like buying him a beer or setting him up with one of her friends. She agrees and tells Ted to say good-bye.
Outside, Lily meets up with Marshall, who receives a call from his dad. Dad keeps asking Marshall if he followed everything in the book and if he’s thinking it’s a boy. Marshall hangs up and declares his dad’s insane. Lily says that Marshall and his dad are the same—they care a lot. And Lily loves that about Marshall. She says she’s worried that she can’t conceive and she’ll let Marshall down. He tells her that’s impossible, like aliens landing. He then backtracks and says that they probably have already landed. Lily stops his ranting and takes him upstairs to Ted’s I guess, not their own house.
Inside MacLaren’s, Ted decides to go for it. And so does Rachel. The friend at the bar? Is on a date with Rachel, who I guess discovers her own sexuality. The two kiss—to the shock of Ted, Robin and Barney (who captures it on camera). They leave and Future!Ted says that the woman is obviously not his children’s mother. But she did become someone’s mother. And we see her standing with a little girl…and Rachel, who looks great in that shot. No, Future!Ted says he meets the mother at the wedding we start at…
…And cut back to, with Marshall telling Ted it’s just a “best man’s toast.” But Ted’s still nervous. Lily comes out in a lovely pink dress to say that the best man is being summoned. Ted and Marshall run in as it starts to rain. Marshall asks if Ted has an umbrella and he says he doesn’t.
Tag: Marshall tells someone that he and Lily are still trying. And then he tells them to not tell Lily. The camera pans to reveal the entire neighborhood sitting there to listen to Marshall. I love it!
And we’re back! I’m not curious as to who is getting married in that scene. And why Ted is the best man. Right now, the only options are either Barney or Robin. They would explain why Lily is in an outfit that screams “bridesmaid” and why Marshall would also be in the wedding party. And the producers did say it was a game-changing wedding, which it could be if one of the two characters who are completely against the idea of marriage says “I do.” Who do you think is getting married?
Exchange of the Episode:
“Beer with you.”
“And also with you.” –Marshall and Ted outside the wedding
Now onto Dancing with the Stars to see who falls apart on the floor and who rises to the challenge. Either way—MRS. BRADY FOR THE WIN!
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