HIMYM:…Our Friendship Will Never Die

This is really it. My last How I Met Your Mother recap. Deep breaths everyone. We’ll get through it.
And then we can rant all over again.

We open again at the Farhampton Train Station. Ted is still being needled by the old lady to go talk to the bassist. She believes that the bassist is The One and asks to sing at Ted’s wedding. Ted’s like “No. Calm down.” But he’s drawn to the bassist.

Go for it, Ted. Doooooo eeeeeeeeeet.

HIMYM: And As the Years Go By…

Here we are, folks. It’s the finale. Time for our last go around with the gang we’ve come to know and love. So, let’s start where it all began…MacLaren’s, 2005.

Barney is aghast that Ted used another wingman in his absence. That wingman—Robin. She apologizes that she wasn’t able to get him a date, but Ted says it’s alright. Robin offers to buy a round and gets up. Lily turns to Barney and Ted, threatening them. She says Robin could finally be the girlfriend she’s been waiting for. And she’s not going to let either of them ruin it for her. If they want to sleep with Robin, they have to marry her. Meanwhile, Robin orders scotch and cheers on sports—everything Lily didn’t think she wanted in a girlfriend—and has no clue what ride she’s just gotten on. It’s going to be a ride, Robin Scherblasky. 

Enjoy it.

HIMYM: Cold Feet

It’s the penultimate episode, the last one before we say goodbye to this wacky group of friends forever. The one where everything was still a mystery and people weren’t…well, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s time for Barney and Robin’s wedding, y’all!

Except the bride and the groom are both having pre-wedding panic attacks. Barney’s is over the color of his tie. He says he has the perfect cornflower blue one back in his apartment. He tries to climb out of the window to escape. Lily and Marshall hold him back, fully aware of pre-wedding panic attacks. (Marshall’s hair cut, anyone?)

HIMYM: RED ALERT!

We’re almost at the wedding. Almost. All the guests have arrived…including Gary Blauman. You know, the recurring character played by Taran Killam, Cobie Smulders’ real life partner? He goes to say hello to Robin, who is surprised to see him. She then panics, running into Marshall. She explains that there’s no seat for Gary as he never RSVP’ed. Marshall calms her down, saying he’ll handle everything. He says he is the king of seating charts and that Table 34 from his wedding still gets together every year. Robin thanks him and continues getting ready.

Marshall looks over the seating plan and declares it a mess. He enlists Ted’s help, but Ted hates Blauman. He recalls the time he read about Teddy Roosevelt and then would not stop talking about the man. To the point it annoys his friends. But then he meets a cute girl at a party who is also fascinated by TR. So is Blauman. The three of them continue to exchange TR trivia for hours. Ted runs out of trivia but Blauman gets one more in. So Ted asks the woman who she is going to sleep with. And now Ted blames Blauman for losing that woman. (Really, Ted? Really?) He’s for throwing Blauman out.

HIMYM: Mosby Boys!

We keep journeying to the end. Hang on!

We open with Robin catching up with her mother. Ullman can’t wait to meet Barney. She hopes he’s nothing like Robin’s father was. Ullman says there were a lot of warning signs before the wedding. Like how he was a playboy who slept with a lot of women. And was engaged to a stripper at one point! Sound like someone we know?

HIMYM: NOPE

We’ll get more into that title later.

Instead, we open at the Farhampton Inn in 2024. A snowstorm rages outside as Ted and the Mother sit inside, alone. She comments that they made it just in time and that the storm looked bad. Ted says that this isn’t the worst storm he ever encountered. He starts talking about the Fiero Fiasco, but the Mother has already heard the story. So he tells about the time he and Barney took over MacLaren and Lily got stuck on her flight back to New York…but the Mother heard that one too. So then there was the time Marshall got stuck on the roof while putting up decorations…which (sing along if you know the words!) the Mother has already heard. Ted wonders if maybe Lily told her the story, but the Mother points out that the story contains a word (“ragamuffin”) more suited to Ted’s vocabulary. (And mine. What?)

So the Mother decides to tell a few stories of her own, but Ted’s heard them all as well. They realized they’ve heard everyone one of each other’s stories. Ted declares that it’s official—they are an old married couple. After a beat, the two smile and high five each other in celebration.

HIMYM: Weekend at Barney’s

Sorry for the sporadic recaps.

We start on the day of the wedding with ten hours to go. And Barney is out cold from all he had to drink the night before. The problem? Robin’s dad has paid for wedding pictures that morning. And he’ll be pissed if they have to cancel. So the gang has to get Barney awake and sober.

Ted, though, wonders if that’s necessary. After all, Barney is incapable of taking a bad picture. We flashback to the episode all about that. Remember? Back when Marshall and Lily lived in DoWiStrePla? When Ted was dating a new girl every week in the wake of Stella breaking his heart? How Robin tried all episode to get a bad picture of Barney and failed? Time to rely on his superpower now!

HIMYM: The Old-pocalypse

Robin and Barney’s wedding weekend continues as they discuss their schedules. But a bus pulls up, bringing with it our…

“A” Plot: Robin’s and Barney’s elderly relatives have arrived for the wedding and the two are terrified of them. Though they try to be excited and respectful, all they want to do is hide. Robin talks about her great-grandparents and how all they do is bicker. She’s pretty confident they don’t have sex anymore after sixty years of marriage. Barney wonders if that will be them in sixty years. Robin says no, they’re too awesome to be like that. Barney agrees but doubt has crept in.

HIMYM: Faith and Trust

But sorry, no pixie dust!

Welcome to part two of How I Met Your Mother’s final season premiere. The gang—sans Marshall—has arrived in Farhampton, where Barney and Robin will be getting married.

Plot “A”: Marshall and Marvin’s Bogus Journey. When we last left father and baby son, they were trying to outrun Sherri to get onboard the last flight to New York. But there’s a big storm and there are no more flights to New York. Barney, on the phone with Marshall, instructs him to throw Sherri’s luggage into a restricted zone. Marshall refuses but promises to make it to New York in time for the wedding. He tries to find another flight but once again, no flights to New York. What about the train? Anyway, the booking agent says they might try renting a car. Sherri throws Marshall’s diaper bag into the restricted area and runs off.

HIMYM: When Lily Met the Mother

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the last season of How I Met Your Mother. So I am recapping it again for old times’ sake.

Back in May, the season finale gave us a most welcomed surprise—the titular Mother! And I am a bit embarrassed to admit I had to look up the actress who played her because she looked so familiar to me…only to discover it was Tony Award nominee Cristin Milotti (“Once”). Does that mean I have to turn in my Theater Geek card?

HIMYM Rewind: May the Future Be With You

Barney is in MacLaren’s with Lily and Robin, who want to know about how it’s like living with Quinn. He says he’s great but the women and audience can see through it. Turns out they have a few adjustment problems. For example, Quinn says that she sold all her stuff but she can’t let go of her coffee mugs. Robin and Lily support Quinn. Especially after Barney makes some alpha male quip. They hope he didn’t say that to Quinn and flip out when he reveals he did. Barney leaves, hoping Ted and Marshall are more understanding.

An Intervention

So, Becky Newton came to How I Met Your Mother. And she turned Barney’s head as stripper Quinn. So you know what that means? Time to meet the others! But Barney only tells Ted what Quinn really does. He makes Ted swear a broath not to tell the others. So Ted tells the others that Quinn’s a stripper and trying to steal all of Barney’s money.

CREDITS!

Place Your Bets!

So, in a move that probably had How I Met Your Mother fans smacking their heads in disbelief, Ted announced that he was still in love with Robin. And Robin seems to go with it. But they do discuss this. Ted explains that he and Robin broke up five years ago because they wanted different things when they discussed their futures. But five years later, they are still in the same situation. Ted thinks it’s a sign. Robin’s not sure. But she has time to think—she has to go to Russia with her hated co-worker. She leaves and Ted wonders why he didn’t kiss her. Robin returns, kisses him and tells them they’ll talk about this when she gets back.

C’mon Ride the Train…

And now that song is stuck in my head.


As for the last two episodes of How I Met Your Mother, there are reasons why I haven’t posted recaps for them. The episode with the return of Stripper!Lily was just too boring to hold my interest. I tried to recap it, I really did, but I just couldn’t remember the episode. As for last week’s (2/6) episode, this also goes to my FaceOff followers. I taped the 2/1 episode of FaceOff and meant to recap it before last week’s (2/8) episode. I had also taped Monday’s (2/6) “How I Met Your Mother” and intended to watch it later in the week. Unfortunately, I had a death in the family. So that week was busy. And this week I have finals. I promise to get those episodes up soon.

Marshall’s Ultimate New Year’s Cemetery Tailgating Party

Happy New Year, everyone! Let’s start off 2012 right with a new “How I Met Your Mother.”

In our framing device, Marshall travels to Minnesota to watch the Vikings-Bears game at his dad’s grave. He even brought the grill, the cooler and the TV to do so. He tells his dad about New Year’s Eve in NYC.

Up On the Rooftop, Marshall Sits…

Yes, it’s been awhile. More on that later. Onto the plot!

Robin’s pregnant, y’all!

Or at least she thinks so. She says she’s late and she’s never late. And she’s confiding all of this to Barney. He keeps walking up on the bathroom floor, but not because he keeps passing out. He keeps saying stupid things that causes Robin to punch him. Hard. Then she reveals that Kal Penn can’t be the baby-daddy as they haven’t had sex yet. Which means the baby-daddy would have to be Barney after his and Robin’s one-night stand. This actually excites Barney, causing Robin to pass out. 

Credits!

Let the Wedding Bells Ring and the Choirs Sing

Tyra’s acting ridiculous, the Emmy’s have been handed out and the commercials have been amped up. It’s the Fall 2011 season! So, suit up for an hour (!) of “How I Met Your Mother.”

We start where the finale left off—Ted entering a room with nervous groom Barney. He asks if he’s chosen the right tie because he will have to wear that tie forever. As Ted sits him down, Barney admits he’s not talking about the tie. Ted figured that out. Barney worries that this will be the worse wedding ever. Ted tells him that it’s impossible—Punchy’s wedding was the worst. And it was all Marshall’s fault.

But while Marshall’s ruining Punchy’s wedding, the others have their own plots:

Bringing Down the House

Oh my God, I read an article where the show runners said not to miss the last few minutes of the finale and they were right!

Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Let us continue to the How I Met Your Mother finale, which requires us to snag the TARDIS and go straight to this coming September.

Of Landmarks and Diabolical Plans

The breakup wasn’t as explosive as I thought it was going to be. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

“How I Met Your Mother” only had one plot and one subplot this week, so I’ll go to the old style again.

Pick Your Poison

It’s feuding time this week on How I Met Your Mother. So put on your gloves and put ‘em up.