HIMYM: When Lily Met the Mother

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the last season of How I Met Your Mother. So I am recapping it again for old times’ sake.

Back in May, the season finale gave us a most welcomed surprise—the titular Mother! And I am a bit embarrassed to admit I had to look up the actress who played her because she looked so familiar to me…only to discover it was Tony Award nominee Cristin Milotti (“Once”). Does that mean I have to turn in my Theater Geek card?


It hasn’t been so long that I haven’t forgotten my HIMYM format…so let’s start with the “A” plot!

Plot A: Lil and Ted’s (Not So) Excellent Road Trip! Everyone is on their way to Robin and Barney’s wedding. And Ted is driving so slow, Lily is honking at him using his own horn. She begs him to drive faster so he pulls out his driving gloves. Lily tells them they are lame but Ted quotes fake statistics to make them seem essential. And then he hands her a binder with all their stops from Manhattan to Farhampton because Long Island is filled with history. Starting with someone who had something to do with buckles.

When Ted tries to pull over for some butter churning, Lily demands to get out of the car and take the train. And who is on the train? The Mother, of course!

Earlier, Lily had received an update from Marshall’s mom, Judy (more on that in the B plot), and resisted looking at the picture of Baby Marvin as she knows it’ll be insulting in some way. Now, she was missing her baby and wanted to look. But she didn’t want to be insulted. She debates to herself, attracting the attention of the Mother, who offers her a cookie. Lily accepts it, prompting the Mother to comment on how trusting Lily must be to accept a cookie from a stranger. Lily makes a comment about trusting they aren’t poison and the Mother says she did the same when she found them under her seat. When Lily starts to spit out the cookie, the Mother quickly clarifies that she was joking and that she made the cookies. She put chocolate, peanut butter and caramel in them and Lily says she needs more of them “sumbitches.” The Mother’s jaw drops—she calls them “sumbitches”!

I smell a friendship brewing!

Lily unloads on the Mother. She complains about Ted’s driving gloves, which the Mother scoffs at. (Future!Ted reveals she owns a pair). Next comes the obscure historical places and the Mother thinks that’s lame. (Future!Ted reminds his kids about the seven hour detour on the way to Disney World to see a goat in South Carolina). And lastly is Ted’s slow driving and the Mother says she would give him an embarrassing nickname until he stopped. (Future!Ted: “It was Lady Tedwina Slowsby.) Awesome). The Mother name drops the obscure historical figure whose house Ted dragged Lily to but she heads off Lily’s suspicions with a sumbitch.

The sumbitches save the day several times until they run out, just as Lily is really missing Marvin. The Mother tries to keep her promise to not let Lily look at the insulting picture but then relents. Unfortunately, the pictures is gone, just like the sumbitches. Lily’s eyes turn red. We all know what that means—DUCK FOR COVER, MOTHER!

When we next see the two, Lily apologizes for biting the Mother. In turn, the Mother apologizes for swatting Lily with a rolled up magazine. Lily says it’s the only way she’ll learn. They return to the topic of Ted and the Mother says it sounds like Ted was trying to get Lily to leave him alone for the trip. Lily doesn’t know why Ted would do it…and then it dawns on her.

The locket.

Once upon a time, Robin buried a locket in Central Park and wanted to retrieve it before her marriage to Barney to be her something old. She and Ted dug up Central Park but they couldn’t find it. Lily revealed to Ted that Robin had been too drunk to really bury the locket, so Lily had taken it and hidden it in Ted’s pencil box. She made Ted promise not to give it to Robin as it’ll only make things worse. But the camera zooms in to reveal a wrapped package in Ted’s backseat. Uh oh!

Plot “B”: Marshall and Marvin’s (Not So) Excellent Adventure. They are on their way back from visiting Marshall’s family before the three head off to Rome for Lily’s new job. Which Judy, Marshall’s mom, is none-too-happy about—hence the insulting pictures of Baby Marvin. But at the end of the season finale last May, Marshall was offered the chance to be a judge—and he took it without telling Lily! And Judy spilled the beans in her insulting Marvin picture, so Marshall’s desperately trying to get his mom to take the picture down. But Judy struggles, mostly finding porn, as Marshall gets more agitated. And he annoys Sherri Shepherd who sits next to him. To the point she gets physical when Marshall refuses to hang up his phone despite the flight attendants insistence he do so.

So they both get kicked off the flight. As they wait to find another one, Marshall tries to delete the picture. It doesn’t go well for him either. Even with the entire airport helping. Marshall resigns himself to his fate when Lily learns of his being a judge but Baby Marvin deletes the picture for him. Crisis averted!

But Marvin and Marshall still need to get to New York for Barney and Robin’s wedding! He waits to see if there is another flight as does Sherri. She tells Marshall that she needs to get to New York to see her daughter at some model UN thing. You see, Sherri is divorced and her daughter lives with Sherri’s ex and if Sherri doesn’t show up, the daughter will think she’s unreliable. Marshall feels bad but then Sherri reveals it’s just the sob story she’s going to use on the booking agent.

There is only one flight out of New York now and it’s across the terminal. Sherri and Marshall race each other.

Plot “C”: Barney and Robin’s (Not-So) Excellent Adventure! The happy couple is in their own limo being driven by Ranjit and going over their guest list for the wedding. Barney’s afraid that his brother James (Wayne Brady’s back, y’all!) will embarrass him at their wedding. Robin doubts this and we flash to James dressed up as Kenny Loggins and singing. Note he was only seen in profile. Robin doesn’t see how this is a problem and Barney reveals the rest—James turns around to show the other side of his body is dressed like Dolly Parton. Robin still doesn’t see a problem. Neither do I. Rock on, Wayne Brady!

So Barney and Robin go through their relatives to determine who might be the Wildcard at the wedding. You know, that one person who might behave perfectly or might make a scene and ruin everything. And remember how Barney discovered he was part Canadian? The writers did! Because as they go through their relatives, Robin and Barney discover they have a cousin in common. Dread creeps over them as they realize they may be related.

They place calls to their relatives, asking to establish how they are related to this cousin. While they wait, they try to pretend they aren’t freaked out. But they do have Ranjit pull over so they can vomit. And they are weirded out even trying to kiss. At one point, they try to pretend they can still go on with the wedding as no one will know they are related…except Ranjit. Which he says with pride. So the two use a telepathic link to plot killing him and wonder if the link is because they are soul mates…or relatives.

But crisis is averted! Turns out the cousin is not related to either by blood. Robin and Barney are on their way to their legendary wedding. You’ll notice the lack of “wait for it.” Robin does. Barney explains he doesn’t have to wait for it anymore because he has her. All together now: Aww!
Everyone arrives in Farhampton and Lily tackles Ted as he gives Robin the gift. She tells him it’s not worth it before learning the present is a picture of the five of them taken at the end of the pilot. He tells her he wants her to remember she always has friends. All together now: Aww!

Ted says he knows it’s pointless to go get the locket. You see, it wasn’t in his pencil box. He believes Stella took it with her to California. And yes, he called her. No, we do not get a Sarah Chalke cameo. Ted tells us that Stella said it was probably be in storage and he was welcomed to go look for it, but he decided it was too much. Lily is proud of him.

But then Future!Ted tells his kids that you never know who would be the Wildcard at a wedding. And at Robin and Barney’s, he was the Wildcard. The episodes ends with Ted standing in an airport buying a ticket for California.

dun dun DUN!

Stay tuned for my recap of Part II of the premiere!