Welcome to part two of How I Met Your Mother’s final season premiere. The gang—sans Marshall—has arrived in Farhampton, where Barney and Robin will be getting married.
Plot “A”: Marshall and Marvin’s Bogus Journey. When we last left father and baby son, they were trying to outrun Sherri to get onboard the last flight to New York. But there’s a big storm and there are no more flights to New York. Barney, on the phone with Marshall, instructs him to throw Sherri’s luggage into a restricted zone. Marshall refuses but promises to make it to New York in time for the wedding. He tries to find another flight but once again, no flights to New York. What about the train? Anyway, the booking agent says they might try renting a car. Sherri throws Marshall’s diaper bag into the restricted area and runs off.
They arrive at the car rental counter but Sherri’s ahead of Marshall on line. He asks God for help and God sends him an old man. Who is the human form of Speedy Gonzalez. Marshall’s line grows shorter and shorter by the second as Sherri is stuck on hers. He gets the last car but is horrified to learn it is basically a Humvee. As an environmentalist, this physically pains Marshall and he begs for another car. Seriously, why isn’t a train an option? Anyway, Speedy says there aren’t any more cars and Sherri offers to take the car away from Marshall.
Marshall is down on his luck and believes he’ll never get to New York. Seriously, are there no trains? Does the airport have the only car rental place in town? Anyway, Sherri comes over and offers to let him ride with her in the Humvee. But she needs money for a car seat. He gives her some and she drives off. At this point, the audience at home is like:
(Remember when Katy Perry guest starred as a girl named Honey?)
But just as Marshall is thinking the same, Sherri returns with a car seat. She lets Marshall and Marvin in after Marshall promises to let her control the radio. And they are off!
Plot “B”: Everyone has checked in at the inn in Farhampton, including Barney’s brother James! Hi, Wayne Brady! Anyway, when Barney goes to tell Marshall to get to New York ASAP, James reveals he and his husband Tom are getting a divorce. This shocks the group and worries Robin. James and Tom’s marriage is the only one Barney really believes in (insulting Lily). It’s the reason he’s taking the leap to get married and she thinks if he finds out about the divorce he’ll get cold feet and cancel the wedding. James asks if she has such little faith in Barney’s commitment to her that she needs him to lie but agrees to do so anyway.
Barney comes back and raves about James and Tom’s marriage. He’s even getting married on their anniversary! Lily gets more insulted and more drunk. When Barney asks where Tom is and James says he has some big work project, Lily lets slip about the divorce. Barney is shocked and Ted cuts Lily off. James confirms he is getting a divorce and a stunned Barney leaves the room.
Robin tracks him down to the front desk where he is talking to the clerk. She asks if he’s already looking for the nearest strip club. Roger Bart, playing the clerk, points out a couple and begs Barney to take Ted. More on that later. But Barney says he wasn’t looking for a strip club but rather asking for the key to James’ room. He had set up something for his brother’s anniversary and now had to take everything down. Robin asks if he’s okay with his brother’s divorce and the wedding. He says he is because he trusts his relationship with Robin. All together now: Aww!
And then Robin asks to eat some of the cake shaped like a naked James and Tom. He shares some with her. All is well.
Plot “C”: Ted and Roger Bart. The inn where Robin and Barney are getting married is known to be a very romantic place. So Roger Bart, the clerk, is surprised to see Ted is there alone. And he pities Ted. His bit is funny and you should go watch his performance. Go.
Anyway, Lily is upset that Marshall won’t be there and so pays the bartender to keep a drink in her hand always. That’s why Ted has to cut her off, though Linus continues to do his job. He sends her to her room while he hangs out in the lounge/bar area, doing a crossword puzzle. The Mother appears next to him and we learn it’s a flash forward when another Ted pops into the room. He reveals the couple are there a year after Robin and Barney’s wedding, enjoying a weekend together. 2014!Ted describes the scene and the Mother says he was probably showboating while doing the crossword puzzle. 2014!Ted denies it as 2013!Ted does exactly that. Anyway, 2014!Ted blathers on about how sad he felt a year ago but that he didn’t know he was going to meet the Mother then. He goes to check them in (and probably rub it in Roger Bart’s face that he’s there with a woman this time) while the Mother stares at lonely 2013!Ted.
Stinger: Ted walks into his room to find that it is where Barney has stashed all the stuff he got to surprise James and Tom. Ted just looks resigned and leaves to go elsewhere, maybe even deciding getting more pity from Roger Bart is better than this.
Well, I think the final season is off to a great start! I can’t wait to see how this weekend unfolds. And I hope we see more of the Mother!
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