Monday, March 30, 2009
Could YOU Be Joseph?
Andrew is looking for “a cross between Justin Timberlake and Michael Jackson in the old days.” Okay…And here we go through the casting specials. I really dislike this…Is someone singing “If I Were King of the Forest”?
Oh yes, I should remind you that this aired two years ago in 2007, so I do know the contestants and the winner. I will not reveal him because, frankly, I hate those people. I do not believe in giving away endings to TV shows, movies and more importantly, books. Read it yourself!
We are introduced to Sean, from Bristol, who is there with his mom. She’s more nervous than he! Sean sings “Close Every Door,” my favorite song from the show. He’s good and is sent through to London. He tells himself to stop crying, which is awesome. We see some good singers who also go to London. Including one guy who hit a ridiculously high note. Oh, and can I admit how much I love Graham Norton as a host. Seacrest, PAY. ATTENTION.
Webber says he does this so that he can get a young generation of theater people in. So he goes to visit a Youth Theater Group. They are so excited to see him. Several members sing for him. When a member jokingly asks Webber his name again, Webber shoots back “Simon Cowell.” Atta boy, Andy. He invites the guys to the auditions. He next goes to a gospel choir to hear them sing. Webber gives them some directions and they take it.
We go to Belfast to meet Nick and his home life—namely his grandparents. Nice hair, Nick. We get to see Granddad cry as we cut to Nick singing “Gethsemane,” Superstar’s hardest song. The casting director tells him he is going to London and Nick calls home. We see others calling home to tell family the good news.
Graham tells us about the London call backs before we see a member of that Youth Theater show up for an audition. He gets to go to London and does a victory dance. Ezra, one of the gospel choir members, also shows up. He’s nervous and Andrew shows up to hear him sing “Summertime.” Andrew brings him to London. Ezra is thrilled. Tim Rice shows up to join his old collaborator at the audition table while Graham makes a snide comment about their old hair-styles. Lee Mead enters and sings. I love his voice. He’s through to London.
Coming up next: The London call backs.
And we’re back. One hundred lucky fellows are brought to London, hoping to make it to Joseph School. We meet the judges: John Barrowman (Captain Jack from Doctor Who/Torchwood), Zoë Tyler (singing coach), Bill Kenwright (producer), and Denise van Outen (actress). Graham asks them what they are looking for. Denise says that if David Beckham could sing, he’d be perfect. John agrees.
We see Keith Jack to sing “Moon Dance.” He makes it through and talks to Graham. Chris Barton follows Keith and gets complimented on his white teeth. He admits dad’s a dentist. John wants his number. Chris belts out “Close Every Door.” He impresses the judges. He’s through. Chris cries. We meet some Welsh and Scots competitors. We meet a dad who is entering for his children. James, the dad, goes up. He talks about his kids before singing “Close Every Door.” John stops him and orders him to his knees. John! But he’s just giving directions. You have to do that, to make sure the person can do so. Learned that in my directing class. Zoë thinks he’s a bit cabaret, but tells him he could be Joseph. He’s through as “You Lift Me Up” plays.
The judges have fun, particularly with someone singing “5000 Miles.” Someone shows up in a Joseph coat. However, some people have trouble standing out and get dismissed. Like Stuart. We meet James Bailey, who is getting really nervous. He looks like the missing Phelps’ triplet. He sings “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” but is told he is not Joseph. He cries in the hallway as Graham and Zoë comfort him. Take that, Seacrest and American Idol judges!
Up next: Denise forgets she’s casting Joseph and starts casting her dream boy-toys.
Graham tells us about Joseph School, three days of intensive training with John, Zoë and Denise. Only twenty will be moved on.
But first, we need to finish the callbacks. We go back to Nick, who sings “Gethsemane.” Graham’s impressed and so is Bill. He lets Nick go through. He’s ecstatic. Denise moans she hasn’t found her boyfriend and Zoë says they haven’t found testosterone. Graham says the Josephs have heard the whispers about it (most likely started by Graham) and we get some shots of abs). A blond Adonis enters and Denise is in love. Fortunately he can sing as well and Denise lets him through. Lee Mead comes up and admits he’s currently in Phantom. He gets John, Zoë, and Denise to sway. Bill notes that Denise has lipstick all over Lee’s headshot. She lets him through. Except he’s taken.
Chris Haggart takes the stage as Graham sits with his wife. He sings “Love Changes Everything.” The panel applauds. He says he wanted to prove people of his size could have talent. And Bill lets him through. He cries. John does a psyche out on a contestant and lets him through. A bunch of guys go through. One hugs Graham, lifting him up. However, the people backstage can do the math. Ian goes up to sing “Sweet Heaven.” And I cringe. He argues with the judges and they allow it. Neil goes next with his own Joseph hair. John and Denise say he doesn’t have a spark and he’s is not through, to gasps. Graham gives him some pep-up talk. This leads to a montage of “Not Josephs.” The guy from the Youth Theater Group doesn’t make it.
Next up: Lewis blows it.
We come back as the opening of the Phantom of the Opera’s overture plays. It signals the arrival of Webber. He’s coming to check up on his panel and the Josephs get excited. One sings “Corner of the Sky.” John sends him packing. Another comes out and is sent home. A third is horrible as well. And we meet Lewis Davies. He massacres “Close Every Door.” The judges give him direction, particularly Zoë as a singing coach. John even sings it for him to follow but then cuts Lewis. Webber is nervous. He goes through all the audition tapes.
We come to Ezra, the gospel singer who sang “Summertime.” He sings for the panel. Zoë isn’t impressed but the others liked him. He might be Joseph. We are reminded about Joseph School…again. This time we are told the graduating 20 go to Webber’s Irish castle to perform. From that performance, they will be whittled down to 12. And those 12 will be competing in the (not-so) live shows for (England’s) votes!
Remember Sean? Who brought his mom along? He performs next, with Graham sitting next to mum. The panel loves him as John takes the opportunity to show him up. I join the panel: Shut up, John. He goes through and hugs his mother. Johndeep is next. His family has never heard him sing full stop and don’t even know he’s there, particularly because of their beliefs. He sings Sondheim’s “Being Alive” from Company. Zoë and Bill love him and put him through to Joseph School. Only one place remains as Webber returns. Phillip gets let go, which Webber agrees with. Anthony Hansen goes up. The panel aren’t sold on him but are undecided. We get dramatic looks. Webber puts him through. Anthony shakes his hand as the audience applauds.
Graham stands with Anthony as he cries. His mom comes and hugs him. The 50 students for Joseph School are chosen. Except that Neil, Ian and James go to see Webber to ask for a second chance. Webber gives it to them. He says that there will be 51 students in Joseph School.
Next up: Joseph School.
It’s like the running of the bulls, only full of potential Josephs in their uniforms. They enter the building. The panel aren’t happy and elect Zoë their spokeswoman. Ian and Neil made it through to Joseph School. So, there are 52 Josephs. Webber was surprised at Neil’s dismissal. And he just likes Ian. So the guys go through training. We meet Rob McVeigh and revisit James the Dad as examples of people who don’t have proper training. We return to Keith Jack who impresses Bill in his group of Josephs. Graham comments on the Josephs’ movement class. They have to move in time to the music. Chris Haggart crosses to “One” from “A Chorus Line” and struggles a bit and leads to a montage of guys trying to cross. Complete with Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way.” One Joseph admits Denise was intimidating the guys. I totally understand.
John leads an acting class. I love it when he wears his glasses. Let Jack wear glasses, Torchwood producers! Johndeep starts to fade at Joseph School. Bill leaves for a trip and sends an SOS to Webber.
Next up: Johndeep isn’t the only one having a confidence problem. They should join a support group with Tahlia.
And it’s the opening chords of the Phantom overture again! Get used to it, they play it every time Webber enters a room. He goes to Joseph School and delivers to blows that they are behind in critical portions of training. Former Joseph Jason Dovonan is invited to inspire the boys. He’s my Joseph. He sings “Any Dream Will Do” as everyone else (including Webber) join in though Graham wonders if Webber forgot the words. Hey, he’s just the composer. Rice wrote the words.
He decides the Josephs will perform “Benjamin,” where Joseph hides his goblet in his brother’s bag as a test. He tells Keith to “scare the hell out of [him].” Johndeep delivers, scaring Jason. He gets a rousing applause. Webber delivers more bad news. He’s making cuts already. The boys will sing for the panel and Jason in hopes of staying. Eminem? Really? I guess “Lose Yourself” is appropriate. I just don’t like rap. One guy sings “The Way You Are” by Billy Joel and breaks down. It’s Matthew and Zoë talks to him. She tells him not to give up. He’s the male Tahlia. She gives him a pep talk but it doesn’t take.
Next up: Elimination!
The panel gets ready for their round of eliminations, looking at a playing card deck with everyone’s picture on it. The guys sing to save their keisters. Keith gets nervous singing “High Flying Adored.” He worries he blew it. Matthew has quit and left. Quite a few decide to sing to Denise, hoping to win at least a role as her new boy-toy in case Joseph doesn’t come through. Sean from Bristol is called up. The panel loves him.
The boys are assembled in neat little rows, worrying. Anyone tapped will not be Joseph. They sing “Close Every Door.” We see the guys get tapped and the moment of defeat. John pauses in front of Keith and moves on. He’s clearly relieved. Chris Haggart gets tapped though. James is also tapped. Ian, saved by Webber, is rejected. James the Dad gets sent back to the kids. Their numbers dwindling, the remaining Josephs get louder. Odd. We have the remaining Josephs. They celebrate with tears and hugs. It’s like elimination at America’s Next Top Model. There are only 28 now.
Coming up: More Joseph School.
LONDON! The boys return to Joseph School. The judges have struggled with the day before and worry about the choice lying ahead of them. Eight still have to be cut. They are put in groups to perform before the panel. Who remembers words? Who forgets moves? Who shines? Chris Barton impresses Graham. John, Denise and Zoë argue over who stays and who goes. They realize they could crush dreams. Fortunately, that scares them rather than excites them.
ELIMINATION! Rob McVeigh: Could be Joseph, Keith: Could be Joseph, a few more Josephs, including Johndeep. Neil and others are sent packing. Lee: Could be Joseph. Nick: Not Joseph. He goes home to Granddad and school. That’s a good plan, Nick! Ben: Could be Joseph. Ezra makes it through as well. Sean: Is not Joseph. He is sent home. I don’t know who’ll be more upset: Sean or Mum. Craig: Could be Joseph. Chris C: Could be Joseph. Seamus: Could be Joseph. Chris B: Could be Joseph. Lewis, Stephen and Frasier are the last three competing for one more spot. It goes to Lewis. John decides that Stephen and Frasier should have a sing off for Webber.
Coming up: Sing off!
Frasier is a strong singer while Stephen has acting chops and charisma. Webber listens to the sing off, once again “Close Every Door.” Sick of it yet? They also sing “Any Dream Will Do.” Stephen nails it. Webber has some bags under his eyes…or a bad allergic reaction. He lets Stephen through and Frasier is sent home. He goes to have a cry in the stairwell. He tries the Ian, Neil and Stuart plan but Webber doesn’t let it. The panel goes to encourage him and cheer him up. Denise cries as well. Stephen doesn’t party either, he’s upset as well. Those who were eliminated comfort Frasier.
The boys travel to Webber’s Irish Castle. They will be performing for the village. Put them in a real live show. The villagers are like “SWEET!” and pack the theater. Bill rejoins the panel but Denise goes back to LA, probably for “Grease: You’re the One That I Want” (she was the host). Hey, was that a nun? Graham introduces the Josephs, singing “You Raise Me Up.” What are those things in the background? Oh, Jason’s in the audience. Keith sings “You’ll Never Walk Alone” before the big finish. The guys want their colored coats. Why does the guy next to Jason look so familiar?
Next: Webber decides the final 12.
Judgment Day, as Graham voices over. Denise watches the show in her jammies and joins the deliberation. Rob and Lee go in first. They are both brought through. Lee sure does like black. Looks good in it though. Okay, I agree with Denise. I’d kiss his picture as well. Graham coaxes Chris B into the room. He is through and hugs everyone. Daniel is let through as well. Craig is also allowed through. Keith is the next one in the room and gets to compete for the role. He breaks down outside the room. Seamus is also let through. He cries to Graham. Tissue stocks rise. Some boys are rejected. Tissue stocks are through the roof now. One comes through singing. Ezra enters the room. Sadly, he is not through. He takes it very well. Anthony is allowed through. Webber really likes the psyche-out routine. Another is rejected. Lewis could be Joseph. See Lewis crying? Get used to it. Johndeep is next in the oven. He comes out as a possible Joseph. The panel tells him to celebrate. Graham talks to the final three, with only two spots left. Chris C wishes the guys luck and they hug. Ben is given remaining spot number 1. He hugs Webber and John wants some of that.
Allistair and Chris C are the last two standing. Chris is the one through. Sorry, Allistair. Better luck next time. Chris cries more than Allistair, if possible. Lord, not even the Nancies cried this much. The Josephs have a group hug.
Your Josephs:
Rob
Lee
Chris B
Daniel
Craig
Keith
Seamus
Anthony
Lewis
Johndeep
Ben
Chris C
Next week: The (not-so) live shows begin. Who will win?
And thus concludes the casting episodes as I remember why I decided not to recap casting episodes. See you next week for the (not-so) live shows!
Quote of the Episode(s):
“Is Denise looking for Joseph or a husband?” --Graham
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Send Us Your Tired, Your Broke and Your Bitchy Models
Last week on Top Model: The models had a runway lesson with Ms. J where Allison sucked. But she got it together for the runway challenge for Jill Stuart. Jill, Ms. J and Ann Shoket chose Natalie as the challenge winner. She also angered Tahlia by naming her picture as the worst. But Tahlia won praise for her photo while Natalie didn’t. But in the end, Nijah sent home. Who will be joining her tonight?
Wanna be on top?
The girls hug and bid Toccara adieu.
TYRA MAIL! “If you can’t move to the music, then that might pose a problem.” Posing challenge. Oh, that’s right, Benny Ninja’s on!
And there he is! That man can move his body in ways that shouldn’t. He introduces Sky Nellor, a DJ and a model. Is she Aussie or Brit? Sky changes up the songs and Benny changes up his poses accordingly.
Allison talks with Celia about being shy and how she has to work on not being stiff. She confesses she needs to remain positive because negative leads downhill. Bless her, she’s been watching the show!
The girls meet up with Benny, saying they are the headlienrs of a fashion event. They are modeling the Blonds, one of whom is a drag queen. The winner will be the model who gets the loudest cheers for her poses. The girls report to hair and make up to get dragged out. Where’s Jaslene when you need her? Benny opens the show. He explains the concept to the audience. Sky pumps up the music.
Allison: Gets booed.
Teyona: Gets cheered.
Kortnie: Mixed.
Sandra: Booed louder than Allison’s.
Celia: Gets loud cheers. She looks better with long hair.
Winner: Celia. Duh.
Aminat: Booed.
Tahlia: Booed. Man, this heat is not well-liked.
Natalie: Cheered.
Fo: Mixed.
Winner: Natalie. She was the only one they liked this time around.
Celia v Natalie. Natalie almost fell and Benny tells her to land in a pose. Celia wins it all.
Back at the Model Wannabe-Dome, Tahlia has hit rock bottom, yet again. Allison tries to get Tahlia to open up and she admits she wants to go home. Allison is surprised and tells it to Celia. So Tahlia is the one Celia raises the house against.
McKey, darling, OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK UP. I can barely hear you!
And I want to see Tyra give Hannah Montana a smack down.
TYRA MAIL! “Models aren’t the only ones that migrate to
They board the Barbie Top Model Bus and pass
Sandra: Mr. Jay asks her to open up and that still does not equal stiff. She says she did different things: “I put my hands in my pockets.” Good lord.
Fo: Does pretty well.
Natalie: Pretends to be from
Teyona: Mr. Jay instructs her to be more dynamic. She delivers.
Kortnie: Mr. Jay says she struggle and her pose is shapeless. Benny tries to give her advice.
Tahlia: Mr. Jay praises Tahlia’s growth. I just see the same look in her eyes.
Celia: Is quick.
Aminat: Mr. Jay stops her to tell her to use her face.
Allison: Loved the photo shoot. I think she did well.
TYRA MAIL. Someone’s going home. The girls look nervous, even Sandra. Her accent got heavier at this point but disappears for her to announce that Tahlia will go home. Tahlia says the photo shoot gave her a confidence boost. However the girls are tired of Tahlia’s mood swings—especially the “I don’t want to be here” “I want to be here” pendulum.
PANEL! I still don’t get the posing with children thing. There are prizes, there are judges, there is Ms. J’s bowtie, and the guest judge is Benny Ninja. Teyona is up first. She gets praised.
Top Models in Action time! Nigel tells us about April from Cycle 2. She has become a correspondent and still models. I’d care if I had watched Cycle 2.
The judges deliberate. Nigel correctly notes that Celia has the same pose in his shoot and in the photo before him. ELIMINATION! The first girl called is Tahlia. You know the girls aren’t happy right now. She is followed by: Teyona, Allison, Natalie,
She goes back and writes a note. She says she’s glad Celia stood up but also defends Tahlia as well. Classy girl.
Still in the running:
Celia
Aminat
Tahlia
Kortnie
Isabella
Nijah
Allison
Sandra
Natalie
Fo
Jessica
Teyona
Next week: The models get into a fight and Celia worries she’s upset Tyra.
What do you think of Celia’s decision to tell Tyra about Tahlia’s comments? Will Celia remain past next week?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Hello, Little John
Last time on Secret Life: Amy goes into labor and is quite irritable. She demands Dairy Shack burgers as all the regulars gravitate toward the hospital. Everybody flashes back to eight months and two weeks prior when Ricky entered Amy’s life.
The family watches Amy sleep. They start to bicker but Molly is called out when her phone vibrates. Amy’s Dad and Ashley talk about what would’ve happened 50 years ago as Ben comes in to talk to Amy. She’s not coherent and Ben says he obviously can’t be in the room for the birth (see: Him fainting during a contraction last week). Ben offers the camera to a family member and Amy asks Ashley to take it. She refuses, saying no one wants to see the birth. The doctor comes in as Amy is much calmer this time around, after the epidural. She says it’ll be soon and Amy worries about the pain. Molly tells her to focus on the baby.
Hospital! The Blabbermouth Duo sit in the waiting room, with
Ben comes out to meet Ricky, who has no clue what is exactly going on in there. Ben notices he still has the camera and shoves it at Ashley. She refuses but a nurse says Amy wants to see Ashley—with the camera. Amy’s Dad tries to talk to Ricky, asking him if he wants to call anyone. Ashley comes back out a little woozy, which causes Ben to collapse. Ricky helps him to a seat. Ben admits he can’t hear about Amy in pain while Ricky feels guilty. He looks guilty. Ricky says he should get a vasectomy. Even Ben thinks that’s going a bit too far. Ricky has a great moment as he realizes all that he’s done. But he’s still having doubts about being a father but Ben gives him a pep talk. And he offers to be Ricky’s friend. Ricky resists and wonders about his role in his son’s life. Ben pleads down to a truce. Ricky agrees as we go to commercials. That was a sweet scene.
Hospital! The group returns from their coffee run.
The Sausage King has arrived! He tells Ben he is proud and Ben admits he’s been irresponsible. That’s why the Sausage King is proud. He also knows that Ben loves Amy, as much as the Sausage King loved the Sausage Queen. Ben encourages his dad to date again but dad is happy as he is. He realizes Ben’s mom was his One and feels Amy is his son’s One.
Henry and Alice got back together? They wonder why sex could be so bad while they enjoy making out. Tom complains about going to the hospital but Grace reminds him that he wanted go. She asks Tom to leave so she can talk to Jack. He tells her that he loves her and she repeats it. They kiss…Where’s John Schneider? His face would probably be priceless. Grace reaffirms that she is still waiting till marriage but not necessarily till after medical school. Well, instead of a John Schneider face, we get Tom singing “My Girl.”
Molly comes out to update Amy’s Dad. She says they are almost there while he wonders if it ever took that long. She says it did as the doctor comes out to say that Amy is ready to push. She says Amy even wants Dad in there. Molly convinces him to go in and calling her “Grandma,” he agrees.
Hospital! Ben and Ricky wait outside as “Stand by Me” plays. Amy’s Dad comes out and motions. Ben signals that Ricky can go inside. Amy’s Dad rejoins Ashley and Molly at Amy’s bedside, where she is holding her baby. Ricky looks ready to cry. He refuses to hold his son though and almost cries again. And that convinces him to hold the boy. Ben and the Sausage King are next. He kisses Amy after a moment seeing Ricky holding the baby. Ben holds the baby, who cries even though he was giggling in Ricky’s arms. Wow, show. The baby stops crying in the Sausage King’s arms, maybe because he’s bouncing the baby. Babies like to be bounced. Ben goes back to cameraman, taping the special moment. We see Amy, baby, Dad, Molly, and Ashley asleep. Grace, Jack, Tom and Tammy show up to see the baby…wow, this is a really long version of “Stand by Me”…and Adrian comes. And now it’s the Blabbermouth Duo, giggling with their best friend. Henry and Alice follow behind with
The montage follows with Ricky holding his baby as Amy sleeps and we go to commercials.
Moving van! Molly says they have to get cleaned up and return to the hospital. Amy’s Dad says his stuff and Ashley’s are in the van and they are going to start their new life. They say good-bye and leave. Molly follows them outside, saying she’ll miss her youngest daughter. Ashley tells her mom she loves her. Molly cries as they pull away. Then the van pulls into the house next door. Huh, I was expecting him to have bought the house. Molly is thrilled. Ashley and Amy’s Dad are scared.
Amy tries to send Ben home for some rest. Ben offers to do her homework and she says he’s done too much already. She thanks him for being there for her. Ben says good-bye but asks about the baby’s name. Amy doesn’t know. Ashley comes in and hugs Ben before sending him home. Amy lets Ashley name him and says “John.” The girls start singing “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” The parents walk in, worrying about what their daughter and her baby’s name. They are happy to hear it is “John.” Molly says Amy and John are going home tomorrow.
Amy is sleeping standing up as the microwave beeps. Molly tries to help her daughter prepare a bottle as the doctor who will help her breastfed will be by later the day. Amy’s hormonal. Molly offers to make John’s bottle for her daughter. Amy’s Dad is making Ashley go to school but lets her go see John. They see Molly’s new employer come in with a giant teddy bear. Amy’s Dad is jealous and says he wants to get a motorcycle. Ashley asks for a dog. He agrees. Molly’s employer is just there to check on her. Molly admits she would like another child again, with someone who isn’t Amy’s Dad. Apparently, Molly is serious (Molly Ringwald is also pregnant in real life. This is probably the set up).
Amy feeds John and bonds.
We go back to high school as Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” plays. The Blabbermouth Duo high five Alice, Henry and Ben. Grace and Jack walk in hand-in-hand. Alice and Henry kiss.
We get a shot of the sleeping mother and infant. Ricky comes by to visit his son. Aww.
And that’s season one…two…good lord, I hate cable seasons! I’m sticking to Summer Season and Winter Season. Summer 09 season starts in June. What do you think is coming? Molly’s pregnancy? Ashley and Dad waging war against Molly? Grace and Jack round two? Ben v Ricky? More John Schneider?
Quote of the Episode:
Ben: Did you talk to Amy about this stuff?
Ricky: No, why?
Ben: Because I was just trying to cheer you up.
See you in June! Remember, I still recap “
Sunday, March 22, 2009
This One Time at Band Camp...
Last week: Grace got fed up trying to plan a baby shower for Amy with Adrian. Of course, while I find Adrian one of the most 3-dimensional characters on this show, I wouldn’t trust her to water my planets let alone plan a baby shower. Especially since she has problems with her step-brother. Random Hallway Kid, Joe, blackmails people into going so a whole interesting slue of characters show up, including Mr. Molina’s pregnant (!) wife. Meanwhile, Amy’s Dad prepares to move out—and Ashley is going with him. Jack breaks it off with Shawna and Ricky gets serious about becoming a daddy. And at the end, Amy goes into labor as Ben shows up to support her—even suggesting she call Ricky.
We open with Band Camp 2008. Amy, carrying her French Horn, gets distracted when she sees Ricky in the stands. He’s interested too. We flash to him standing in Amy’s hospital room, watching her sleep.
Credits!
Eight months and two weeks ago…(Thank you title card) Ricky and Amy meet. We get to hear Amy’s thoughts as well as Ricky sits down with her. They talk about boyfriends. Oh hey, John Schneider will be showing up! Sorry, sorry, back to the flashback. A girl comes up to say to Ricky and reminds him her name is Gail. She’s upset…Oh, I think she’s one of Ricky’s flames. He says he remembers her, kissing her but finding out she had a boyfriend. He says that was why he was asking about boyfriends and then asks her out. She says she will be the freshman soloist that night. A girl comes up to warn Amy about Ricky. Warning not heeded, Blonde Girl.
Amy calls Madison and Lauren as they go to orientation. They coo over Jack as he approaches Grace. He congratulates her on making cheerleading. She says she’s happy to be on the bottom. Aww, it’s the start of their relationship. They are adorable as he tries to ask her to go steady. She’s worried about her parents and doesn’t want to go steady yet either. Jack doesn’t want her to go out with any other guys and she flirts that she may. Oh, Grace. Our friend the noisy secretary comes to direct the Blabbermouth Duo back to their room.
Henry and Alice blog or play tetris or something as Ben wants his braces off. I understand Ben’s wish to get them off. Oh, that was a happy day. Ben complains about how he doesn’t have a girlfriend. The Sausage King comes in and tells Ben there will be a delay until he reveals it is all a big goof on his son. He brings Henry and Alice along, even though Henry asks if they could stay behind by themselves. Alice, Sausage King and Ben all respond “No.”
Adrian is home reading a book as her mom comes home. She gives her the third degree about her recent lingerie purchases, asking who it is this time. She bugs mom for a car, who says they’ll go tonight and then tells her daughter to mind her own business about what she has to do that afternoon.
We flashback as Amy wakes up. Molly Ringwald comes in with food but Amy wants a burger and shake from the Dairy Shack. Ricky offers to go for her and Amy sends him away coldly. Molly coaches her through a contraction as Amy regrets not going to birthing class earlier and demands drugs. Molly reminds her she can’t eat after the epidural, so she complains about being hungry and in pain. Molly distracts Amy by asking what she will call her son, who has not thought about it at all. For some reason, she thinks since she is a minor she can’t name a baby. Doesn’t work like that sweetie. She panics.
We go back to Band Camp, where Amy practices as Ricky enters. Amy’s getting nervous around Ricky, who gives her the old “picture the audience naked” advice. Trust me, it doesn’t work. Just look over their heads at a spot on the wall. Amy says her lips are dry and Ricky kisses her, and then offers her water.
Tom asks Grace if there is any news about the baby. She says no. Tom offers her her promise ring back, confusing Grace. Tom and Tammy are still together, but he thinks his sister needs her ring back. Tom asks Grace if she was seeing Jack. She denies it as Tom says that the ring is so she doesn’t have anything to tell him. He’s a great big brother.
Grace flashes back to her dad telling her that she’s not going out with Jack nor going steady with just one guy. Grace stuns her dad with the news no one else is asking and that she knows he told Rev. Stone to tell Jack to ask her out. John Schneider says Rev. Stone approached him and asks if they have kissed. Sounds like Daddy Dearest didn’t like Jack at all. We comes back as Grace puts the ring on. Ben calls Grace to give her an update that the baby will be awhile. Grace tells Ben to tell Amy she’s praying for her, but then backtracks. Ben assures her that Amy wants Grace to pray for her. As he hangs up, his driver reminds him he is outside and that the Sausage King will come when Amy’s Dad calls. That’ll be forever, knowing Amy’s Dad. Alice and Henry are there, IM-ing each other while sitting next to each other. Ben figures they are talking about him and leaves, but a nurse stops him.
We flashback to Alice and Henry eight months and two weeks ago, with Alice saying no to sex with Henry. He says he doesn’t want to be a virgin at 30. Ben just marvels at his teeth. I know the feeling, buddy. Ben is looking forward to high school. Am I the only one who thought episode 1 was also Ben’s first day of school and that it was already about a few weeks in?
Ben offers Amy food, but she still demands Dairy Shack. She then has a contraction, which floors Ben. Literally, he isn’t ready for Amy in labor. Molly runs in to help, trying to coax an irritable Amy into doing something. Amy asks when her contractions will stop as Mom duhs when the baby comes.
At the hospital, Amy’s Dad enjoys the burger Ben brought as Ashley watches. Amy finally got her Dairy Shack, but she’s still irritable. She complains about the pain but Amy’s Dad and Ashley can’t cheer her up. Amy wants a frip but can’t get anyone to work with her. Amy’s Dad holds Amy’s hand during a contraction, surprised at his daughter’s strength. He comforts a crying Amy, he does soothing dad well. Ashley finds Molly talking to Mimsy, who is at her boyfriend’s house. Ashley tells her the relationship with Thomas is over and swears off guys for a while. As Molly runs away to help Amy, Ashley flashes to…
Ashley used to dance? Amy’s Dad is vindicated to see she is still dancing. He knew the “drinking coffee with my friends” was a rouse because Ashley doesn’t have any friends. He says he’ll pick her up later, he has to help a woman with her furniture. Ashley realizes then that Dad’s cheating and I’d say he did it with the dance instructor, judging by their banter.
Ricky sits down to Ashley, asking her some questions. Ashley responds meanly and Ricky pleads to be her friend. He needs her as everyone else will hate him. Ashley wonders if Ricky can be friends as we go back to…
Band Camp 2008. Ricky coaches Amy through her piece. She wonders if he wants to be friends, but he tells her he wants to be boyfriend/girlfriend. She rejoices as Ricky offers to walk her to her cabin. He even carries her French horn and holds her hand. Aww. She mentally reminds herself to “Be cool.”
Tom comes back to Grace for a baby update. Same as last time, Tommy boy. Tom says he’ll call Adrian, which Grace says will make Tammy jealous. Tom says he knows and that jealousy will spice up the relationship. Okay…Grace calls Adrian, who is waiting for news. She still pines for Ricky and goes on about her afternoon. She also tries to find out about Grace’s feelings for Jack. She changes the subject and says Adrian should drive them to the hospital to be there for Amy. They’ve already been there for her through so much already, Grace argues. Adrian correctly points out that Grace has been the one there for Amy.
We flashback to Adrian’s mom trying to convince her daughter to come downstairs. Adrian says she doesn’t want to meet her mother’s new boyfriend and Adrian’s mom threatens to return the car. That gets her daughter moving. Adrian’s Mom thanks Amy’s Dad for helping her to pick out the car and dealing with the salesman. He says he hopes she likes him and she reminds Amy’s Dad he’s married. Adrian comes down to see the car. She rejoices and hugs her mom.
Back in the present, Adrian leaves. Tom calls Jack, who flat out says that Jack kissed Grace. Tom tells Jack that the girls are going to the hospital and asks for a ride. At the hospital, the Blabbermouth Duo come for a visit. Molly leaves to go update Dad and Ashley as Amy reveals she is still irritable. She’s also too far along to go home but not far along enough to get the drugs. Madison updates Amy about who is waiting for her. The Blabbermouth Duo try to comfort their friend as she gives them a PSA about sex. Madison and Lauren need the awkward turtle right now. What do you say when you’re fifteen and your best friend is in labor.
Molly flashes to eight months and two weeks ago…Ashley comes home and is her usual self. Molly wishes Amy were there so she could talk to someone. Amy’s Dad says they could talk and Molly doesn’t respond. He tells her that’s the problem and leaves. We return to Molly and Amy’s Dad looking sad in the waiting room.
The doctor assures Amy she’ll give her the epidural when the time is right. She encourages Amy to let go off her anger, it’ll help the process. Amy curses her mom, the class and Ricky.
Ricky brings her to the closed mess hall, offering her coffee and hamburgers. Ricky praises her performance at the concert and assures Amy that they will not get into trouble. Be prepared to eat your own words, Ricky. Amy gets the scoop on her new teachers from Ricky, who in turn tries to get information about Amy’s life outside band. She tells him about the Blabbermouth Duo, Dad, Molly and Ashley. He deflects the question about his family and asks to move to the couch, more comfortable. Amy wants to go back but he convinces her to stay. So, they move to the couch and continue talking. And by talking, they mean kissing. I can’t tell if Ricky is being sincere or if he’s just trying to get into her pants at this point. Amy says she should go. Go, Amy, go. But Ricky convinces her to stay for a few more minutes.
Amy returns to the present and realizes that she should’ve left. She says “Crap,” but assures her baby it is not about him but her.
Quote of the Episode:
Amy: How do we even know I have a birth canal? *Anne looks on incredulous* What? I don’t know anything about anything besides the French horn!
Can anyone explain Twilight’s popularity to me? Because I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
Next week: The entrance of Ricky and Amy’s baby!
So, did you enjoy the flashback to the past? Enjoy band camp? Any ideas what Amy will name the baby?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Ms. J's Charm School for Broke-Down Models
Last week on
Wanna be on top?
Teyona celebrates her picture and says she isn’t too sad her friends go home because she’s still there. Nijah says she has to work on her eyes. Tahlia is told not to take herself out of the competition until Tyra takes her out. Amen! But Tahlia feels defeated.
TYRA MAIL! “Mind your P’s and Q’s. And J.” The girls can figure that one out—runway with Ms. J. Natalie says she has a good walk and was with another modeling agency, so she has some experience. She helps some of the girls with their walk, but Aminat says she’s getting cocky. Uh oh, do I smell another
The girls go home and play “Truth and Dare.” Someone licks another’s nose while another has to do the Carlton Dance from “Fresh Prince.” Everyone I know can do that dance. Natalie gets asked who had the worst picture last week beside Fo and Jessica. She answers Tahlia. Tahlia storms out, but Natalie has a good point. It wasn’t the greatest. Tahlia says that she knows Natalie’s confidence will work against her in the end.
TYRA MAIL! “Take it from me, the runway is the worst place for excess baggage.” Allison is horrified as they know it is a runway challenge. The girls think someone will get eliminated. I highly doubt it—there were only thirteen original girls. They help Allison with her walk.
Teyona goes to get her weave fixed. We see the Barbie Top Model Bus. They go to a runway show for Jill Stuart. And they will be working with bags, picked up from Saks, I’m guessing. Tahlia wants to do her walk right while Natalie wonders why they keep practicing. Those…Are pretty dresses. And then Ann Shoket shows up for her contractual appearance. She and Ms. J wish the girls luck then leave. The runway kicks off with the old-fashioned traffic lights reading “WALK”.
Celia rocks her walk, followed by Natalie who gives a little twirl. Ann Shoket likes her. Tahlia is next, trying not to fall.
Jill, Ann and Ms. J deliver their comments. Allison gets good comments and is happy. Natalie’s twirl wasn’t appreciated…except by the Aswirl Twins. Tahlia needs confidence, which bothers Ms. J. She isn’t comfortable, she confesses. Uh oh. She’s going to psyche herself out of the competition. The winner of the runway challenge is Natalie, despite the twirl. She wins pieces from Jill Stuart’s collection. Ms. J leaves as Natalie realizes the girls aren’t going to like her when they get home.
Tahlia goes home and calls her sister, Marquis. She starts crying as her sister tries to give her a pep talk, but Tahlia still isn’t happy.
McKey’s on the radio, talking about Make-a-Wish foundation.
Tyra v. Hannah Montana. A must see, if you ask me. But now what will Disney run in place of Hannah Montana.
The Barbie Top Model Bus meets up with a red double decker bus carrying Mr. Jay. They are doing a photo tour of
TYRA MAIL! Oh, you know. Someone’s going home!
Top Models in Action! This time it is Bianca from Cycle 9. She is the face of
One Tree Hill done in Sims? Can anyone say “Jumped the Shark?”
ELIMINATION! The first name called and the picture will be cropped to just show: Sandra. She is followed by Aminat, Tahlia, Fo, Celia, Kortnie,
She writes the girls a good-bye note. Nijah lists what she needs to work on and that the competition helped her, blah blah blah.
Still in the Running:
Celia
Aminat
Tahlia
Kortnie
Isabella
Nijah
Allison
Sandra
Natalie
Fo
Jessica
Teyona
Next week: The girls meet Benny Ninja and perform for
Do you think it’s Tahlia? Sandra? Someone else?
Condolences
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Eleventh Hour Had Mercury in Fridges, CSI:NY Has Pipe Bombs in a Van
Adam is playing street hockey with his friends, making fun of some girl’s boyfriend whose shot he just blocked. Adam chases after the ball as a white van explodes…ADAM! NO! And then a house explodes…is this CSI: NY or a
Credits!
Adam comes to and sees the crime scene. A friend tries to make sure Adam is all right but all Adam can hear is cries for help. As the girl with the camera begs for someone to call for help, Adam and his friend pull someone from the wreckage. Sirens wail in the background as the FDNY pull up. Mac and Hawkes follow quickly. The guy Adam saved was the only one home, thankfully, as Mac takes care of Adam. He can’t help Mac much, just explaining the van and house exploded. The victim, Felix Redmond, is upset and wants to know what happened while Hawkes tries to calm him down. Felix explains his wife is with her parents.
The FBI approaches Flack, saying they will have to work together. Flack agrees as Mac searches the van. A kid with a camera is sent back inside while Stella brings a clue from a neighbor’s house. They realize they are dealing with a pro. Mac and Stella do math while Flack and I stare at them, confused.
Lindsay asks Danny if they need help but he rules it out, saying she’ll do enough when the crime scene comes to the lab. Apparently, Lindsay is going back to
Back at the crime scene, Hawkes is surprised Felix walked away after his house collapsed. Mac tells them a story of other bomb victims who walked away. They figure Felix wasn’t the target and if something was supposed to happen on the block. Stella finds a busted pipe while Hawkes documents the remains of the white van. Mac and Danny divide and conquer the house—one upstairs, the other downstairs. Or what’s left of it. They try to put everything together, but we haven’t reached the second commercial break. Danny finds a victim under the debris, surprising the two.
Turns out it was his daughter, who was supposed to be at school. Mac doesn’t know why that street was chosen, unless someone on the block was planning to bomb somewhere else. They wonder if they are chasing after a terrorist or terrorists. Lindsay and Hawkes do some science. Lindsay finds two pipes are the same and they hope it will lead to a manufacture. Danny finds out the perp rented the van but uses the GPS to track down the guy who rented it last—Michael Elgers. He looks like a skinhead. Danny agrees. Elgers last arrest was on
Flack drags the skinhead in for some talk. Elgers swears he didn’t mean to blow up anything. Flack, unsurprisingly, doesn’t believe him. Elgers says he remain silent until Flack mentions the van. That throws Elgers, who swears it wasn’t him. It’s not his signature, he argues, asking for a lawyer. Flack leaves but Elgers asks to know the race of the victim. Flack just says she’s dead.
Stella is down in the garage, finding a digital watch. They figure it was a trigger and the bomb was meant to go off when it did. Mac finds something inside the van, calling Stella over. Burn marks on the side, show that the van was reinforced on one side so the blast would be forced out the other. They realize that Felix’s house was the intended target.
Adam returns to the lab as Hawkes hails him as a hero. Adam is just glad to get away from the interrogations of FBI, DHS, etc. Hawkes gives him stuff to do and he’s actually happy. Hawkes joins a briefing on The Purists, eco-terrorists. I’m thinking CBS missed an opportunity to pair this with Eleventh Hour’s Minamata. They deal with anything that could harm the environment. Just property damage, no deaths. And while they claim responsibility, no charges have been filed. One of the members of the Purists was attacked by Elgers, cleared as his signature didn’t match. They figure Elgers was being set up, but unsure why The Purists would bomb a house owned by a man who recycles for a living.
We go to a club where a guy blows a cork off a bottle. Mac sees the display and shows his badge. The club is apparently “eco-friendly.” Mac asks about Felix but Teddy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Mac calls him a terrorist while Teddy argues he is doing his duty as God’s creature. Oh boy. Mac is just as incredulous as Teddy leaves.
Stella asks Adam what went through his mind. He replies nothing much, except for some kid beaning him in the head. He also feels bad because he can’t give them anything. Meanwhile, Hawkes finds a partial on the van’s rearview mirror. It belonged to Alison, surprising Mac.
Stella searches the Chinese town Adam found. It has a lot of e-waste, apparently. The pictures aren’t so pretty. And it doesn’t look just like e-waste, but regular waste as well. Stella tells Adam that he may have found the motive. He sees a picture and remembers he saw her before the explosion. Lindsay brings Mac enough evidence for a warrant on Teddy Mayhem. They interrupt him in the middle of a planning session, saying people will be in his building. He burns it as Mac takes him in.
Stella shows Felix some of his business containers. One that ended up in
Danny brings a confused Lindsay to the courthouse, saying she has to meet some friends. He brings her to the city clerk and she realizes what is going on. He proposes again, saying they could get married right then. Lindsay agrees. Aww, Monroe-Messer wedding! Stella and Mac are waiting inside to be the witnesses. And then there’s a nice montage of the two of them together. That was absolutely adorable! I’ve loved those two since Lindsay was introduced.
Exchange of the Week:
“No bodies at 3 AM, no double shifts with no sleep, a slice of pizza on the run.”
“Constipation, swelling of feet, tough getting up from a chair, constant urination. Wanna switch?”
“I already have all that. I just want the time off.” –Sid and Lindsay
Next week: Dead drug dealer, dealing drugs made of humans. Eww. And it’s married couple Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson (Wentz).
What do you think of the Monroe-Messer wedding? What about the upcoming appearance of the Wentzes?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Good News!
I Think Tyra and Ms. J Have Found Their Next Runway Challenge!
Felix introduces Hood and Rachel to our two crime scenes. And then Rachel and Felix have to explain that Haley Vaughn is a popular model. Hood decides to go for the crack and booze first, which Felix goes to test. We tick to the credits…
And, unlike me, the show does refrain from busting out either Right Said Fred’s “Too Sexy” or RuPaul’s “Supermodel.” I’m afraid I will probably use the latter some time later, so…mea culpa.
We come back to a lab as the techs get to swab everything down. You know, there could’ve been a chance for a shout-out. Jerry Bruckheimer produces Eleventh Hour as well as CSI: NY and Without a Trace, all set in
We cut to an Ugly Betty-ish receptionist at Haley’s agency. She is leaving a message for a date who left early from a date due to a phone call. Oh, I hope it wasn’t a bailout call. She berates herself for her cheesy message and then shows Rachel and Hood into Haley’s escort/manager’s partner/wife’s office. The wife admits that their marriage wasn’t so good lately but still praises her dead husband’s work ethic. Hood asks if her husband was doing or using anything different. She says no but admits they hadn’t seen each other due to Fashion Week. She breaks down but Hood isn’t convinced. Rachel thinks their best bet is to talk to Ugly Betty.
By the way, the actress playing the assistant is Samantha Shelton, Marley Shelton’s real life sister. It’s a family affair!
Meanwhile, Haley’s doorman Tom brings her her mail. He too is enthralled by her…or rather, her perfume. He forces his way into the apartment. This does not bode well. We cut back to Rufus Sewell watching the
I read somewhere that the monotone Comcast commercial is supposed to be full of subliminal messages. If it is, I’m missing them.
Hood and Rachel go on a tour of the perfume plant with an employee who gives us a history lesson of perfume. Though his assistant, Renny, gives us the dour side—use of perfume to cover the plague. Hood points out that companies don’t have to list the ingredients in perfumes, unlike food. But the manager promises that they don’t use any odd things in their perfumes, just natural ingredients. Rachel shows him Fervor, the perfume taken from Haley. He says they sent it to the top 100 influential people in the fashion industry. When informed Haley’s dead, he refers her to the company lawyer. She protests that the perfume is safe and there is no need to pull the product. The manager protests that he perfected Fervor and it is safe. But they agree to let Hood test it and Rachel says if anything odd pops up in the perfume, guess who is getting the blame? The lawyer tells the manager it will be him.
Felix joins Hood in the lab, saying Rachel is in the coroner’s office. Hood tells him to write things down: Vanilla, Honeysuckle, Jalapeno Pepper, Civet Musk…Sounds like
Rachel returns to the lab with the discovery the perfume is the one thing in common. Hood believes the manager is using pheromones, which Felix knows it is used to attract mates. Hood explains that only certain people are attracted to certain smells, so chemistry isn’t a myth. Meanwhile, the escort is getting restless about doing nothing and tries to leave for her next appointment. The manager attacks her and restrains her. We tick to commercials…
Hood returns with his FBI detail to the lab and says that the perfume they tested was a decoy. He runs the perfume in the hotel and finds: a chemical that serves a messenger to the brain. The one in the perfume makes people crazy. They realize someone else is tampering with Fervor. So they go back to the company and note that Renny challenged the Fervor patent because he wasn’t credited. They realize he is behind it, especially since he called in sick. The lawyer brings them to their clinical trials. Hood realizes the perfume was leaving a mark before it started out as a potential self-tanning lotion using neuro transmitters. However, the trials showed that the self-tanning lotion also served as an aphrodisiac. But it’s down side was a violent streak. Rachel wants to round up the samples.
Gretchen, though, decides to spray Fervor generously. Something tells me the date with Rex is about to go south fast. Felix says they almost have all the perfumes back and then he will join in the search for Renny. Hood also asks him to get an inhibitor that would block receptors in the brain from processing the perfume. Meanwhile, Haley’s agent’s wife realizes Gretchen took the perfume. Gretchen doesn’t pick up her phone as she takes a cab driven by a driver more invested in his fare’s life than Ranjit on How I Met Your Mother—and Ranjit is their primary driver. The driver becomes affected and gets creepy. He turns off the route and Gretchen panics. As he admits he loves her perfume, we tick to commercial…
Rachel keeps trying to reach Gretchen as Felix searches the company’s security system for Renny. They find him looking through the manager’s office and taking an invite to fashion week. Spiffy. Felix moves out as a cop pulls up to meet Rachel and Hood. He’s going to use GPS to find Gretchen, Felix heads to the Dior show. Renny’s already there. With a bottle of Fervor.
Gretchen fights off the cab driver and escapes, running away—but first takes off her shoes. Smart move. Rachel follows while Renny sprays models with Fervor. Not good. The cops find the taxi, but no Gretchen. Or driver. They see Fervor, a shoe and blood. Not good. But they call in a canine unit as Gretchen runs away. What part of
Renny watches the commotion as Hood enters. Felix stops Renny, who admits he was disgruntled with his job. Then find a new one and quit, doofus. Don’t turn innocent people into killers. Hood uses the smoke jets attached to the runway to disperse the inhibitors into the show. It works and they calm down, dazed.
Now it’s Hood’s turn to walk the catwalk. Felix says he isn’t going to wear cologne for some time and Hood jokes with him. The two decide to walk to meet Rachel, who is 20 blocks away. Oh god, do you know how long 20 blocks is in
Quote of the Episode:
“You and that fine model had a connection? Are you on any medication?” –Felix
Looks like Eleventh Hour isn’t new next week. And I refrained from a RuPaul “Supermodel” reference. Go me!