Someone Falls Out of the Nest

Last week on “America’s Next Top Model”: The girls went on go-sees around Sao Paolo. Teyona and Aminat impressed, Allison was dubbed better for pictures than runway, Celia was old and Fo was short. Celia and Fo were late getting back so they couldn’t ride in the helicopter to hear the news that Teyona won a much needed new wardrobe. At a shot with Nigel in some non-existent bikinis, Allison and Teyona rose to the top. Celia, Fo and Aminat were too blah, too Gollum-like and too stiff respectively. In the end, it was too old v. too short, with short losing out. Four girls remain…HOLY CRAP NEXT WEEK’S THE FINAL!

Wanna be on top?

SAO PAOLO! The remaining four girls return home to see Teyona’s picture. I call her the winner barring some surprise misstep. Celia liked her bad picture and talks about being in the bottom two. She likes the fact the panel has confidence in her. She talks about relaxing. Aminat isn’t thrilled that Celia is still around. Allison is happy since she and Celia are friends, but so are Teyona and Aminat. Aminat says she thinks she and Teyona are stronger…umm, not you, sweetie. I’m boggled as to why Tyra keeps you around. However, good job filling the bitch vacuum!

TYRA MAIL! It’s an indecipherable message. Perhaps some call to the mother ship?

The Brazil Bus takes the girls to a dance studio. Allison is not thrilled to be dancing—she doesn’t have the coordination. Paulina meets the girls and tells them they will be learning the samba to work their body and make it look easy. The girls then dance for Paulina, while being aware of the camera. Celia is up first and is stiff, no passion. She is called out for wanting it too much and called desperate. Paulina says to relax. Aminat is next. She is called a natural dancer and very expressive. Allison doesn’t do so well. Teyona finishes and is reminded “eyes up” and wasn’t so graceful. Even Aminat says she has “two left feet.”

Paulina says to fake confidence and tells the girls to go over their steps. Challenge time! Celia talks to Allison about being old. And we see Paulina from five minutes ago. Thanks, show. Celia devours a jar of peanut butter.

Amy Adams looks absolutely adorable as Amelia Earhardt in “Night at the Museum II.” My family’s already got that one planned.

TYRA MAIL! “Whatever you do, don’t look down.” Celia and Allison practice their sambas in the dresses Celia won in her pose-off challenge. The girls meet Eduardo Ramos, their partner for a samba. Paulina is there to judge who gets a lot of jewelry for faking it with flair. Aminat feels confidence. Allison is the first one up. I love her blue dress. She was a mess. Celia is reminded to relax and does. Aminat excels while Teyona is almost as big a mess as Allison.

Paulina says that while Allison wasn’t so great at the dancing, she would’ve gotten some great pictures. Celia was more for moving camera, Aminat was great and Teyona was just a mess. In the end, Celia wins. That was a surprise. Even I agree that Aminat should’ve won. Celia chooses Allison to share the prize and Paulina acts surprised. She said that the winner could pick a friend, why would she seem upset at the winner’s choice? What’s up with Allison’s hair?

TYRA MAIL! “At some point, the mama point needs to push her babies out of the nest.” Uh oh.

Aminat is still sore about losing the challenge. “I’m always second runner up and I’m never the winner.”

In SPEAK UP MCKEY, McKey doesn’t do much speaking. She just poses.

SAO PAOLO! Aminat and Teyona are in the bathroom. Sutan and Christian come to wake up Celia and Allison. Sutan even jumps into bed with them. I love Sutan, who cuddles Allison. He pulls Celia out of bed as Christian gets ready. Their hair is wild! They board the Brazil Bus and drive out into the country. They enter a jungle. Sutan spots a broken down jeep. He and Christian go to help the person…like they could fix a car. Tyra emerges from the smoke and says she’s late to photograph the girls. They board the bus and the girls are excited. They show some pictures of Brazilian models and the guy’s picture reminds me of another girl’s picture from another cycle. Anyone else?

Mr. Jay meets them in the middle of the jungle. While the jungles are filled with bugs, they are focusing on birds. And the girls get even wilder hair and feathers! Allison is up first and the hair works with the theme. It’s wild. Tyra says that Allison looks like she’s walking a jungle runway. Tyra tells her that she’s a mama bird protecting her un-hatched babies. They break out the crickets. Tyra loves Allison. Mr. Jay notes that it was the least nervous Allison’s ever been. She hugs Tyra and tells her she’s pretty. Tyra asks if she’s kissing up and Allison says she’s just saying what’s on her mind. In confession, she calls herself “square.”

Aminat is next. Tyra likes the movements, not the face. Mr. Jay says Aminat needs to wiggle her ears. Okay…Aminat feels amazing, she says. Celia says she’s psyched to be shooting with Tyra and says today’s buzz word: RELAX. Tyra wasn’t thrilled to shoot Celia but felt she worked. In confession, Tyra and Mr. Jay get attacked by a giant something. Mr. Jay says it’s a moth and Tyra says it’s a bat.  Celia says she’s really happy and felt at ease with Tyra.

Teyona enters the set and Mr. Jay says that she doesn’t bring energetic. Tyra is worried about the shoot. They were losing light, Tyra nearly fell off a log and overall was impressed with the shoot. Tyra models falling off a log as she calls a wrap.

TYRA MAIL! You know the drill. Someone’s going home. I can’t call it. I honestly can’t. I’ll have to wait for panel. Even the girls can’t call it. Teyona calls herself and Allison for the final three but can’t name the last person.

SAO PAOLO! No video? Okay. Tyra puts the girls back in their samba dresses. There are prizes, there are judges, there is Ms. J’s tie, and the guest judge is Ann Shoket. Okay…Allison is up first. Ms. J calls Allison a bird. The judges love it. Nigel is impressed that she isn’t overwhelmed by the makeup and hair. Ms. J talks bird. Overall, very promising. Teyona is next. Paulina loves her picture. Nigel says she needs to work her upper body. Paulina disagrees. Ann agrees with Nigel. Tyra agrees with her. She wishes she had worked Teyona harder. Celia is next and is applauded for being the challenge winner. Nigel likes her picture as does Ann. She uses the word “strength” a lot. Tyra compares Celia’s cheekbones to Paulina’s. Aminat is last. The judges love everyone today, don’t they? Oh, wait, Paulina isn’t that thrilled. Neither is Ms. J. Tyra calls her a surprise. I still can’t call it.

Top Models in Action! Ya-Ya from Cycle 3. She’s moved to acting.

SAO PAOLO! The judges deliberate. Allison is youthful and soft. They think that Teyona’s been doing well and is now complacent. Tyra says she didn’t have good energy on set. They love Celia’s wardrobe put iffy in pictures. Tyra loves her angles. They don’t like her face. Paulina wants Celia to be her stylist. Tyra doesn’t like how the light shines on Aminat’s face. Ann calls her “The Body.” 

ELIMINATION! Who makes it to the final three? The first one with the best picture is Allison. I’m so proud of her! She gets embarrassed when Tyra tells her she’s pretty. The next person safe is Teyona. Looks like Teyona and I were correct about two of the three. Teyona starts crying because she thought she was in the bottom two. Aminat and Celia are in the bottom two. Tyra loved shooting both of them. But they aren’t strong in the face. Aminat: The light doesn’t flatter her face when it hits it. Celia: Too mature for the modeling industry? Fashion loves youth and light. So, who stays? Aminat. Really?

Tyra tells Aminat to work on her light. She hugs Celia and tells her that Paulina wants her to be her stylist. Allison is heartbroken to lose her friend as Celia gives her a big hug. So, TV synopsis, Teyona’s crying was a “breakdown at panel”? Celia kisses us good-bye. Aww.

Still in the Running:

 

Celia

Aminat

Tahlia

Kortnie

Isabella

Nijah

Allison

London

Sandra

Natalie

Fo

Jessica

Teyona

Next week: THE FINALE! The girls have a Cover Girl commercial and the final two will walk the final catwalk in a bid to be crowned “America’s Next Top Model.”

Quotes of the Episode:

“Everytime you look down, I am subtracting a million points. Allison, got it?” –Paulina

“If I shut up, you won’t know.”—Paulina

Do you like the final three? Think I’m a very big optimist when I hope that Allison takes it all? Thrilled to be almost rid of SPEAK UP MCKEY!

Aminat? Really? 

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA

Last week on Top Model: The girls had a pose-off with New York’s queen community as their judges. Benny Ninja played their husbands in their immigrant photoshoot. Tahlia expressed her wish to leave the competition but then got the best picture. Celia complained but was quickly put in her place. In the end, Kortnie was sent packing. Will Celia pay? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

NEW YORK! The models arrive back at the Top Model to see Tahlia’s picture on display. She’s hurt about Celia’s announcement. Celia says she is stronger. She’s in trouble but willing to except the punishment. Sandra is surprised Celia actually did it. For once, she’s not the bitch in all of this. She agrees that it was not Celia’s business. Teyona and Aminat go down to confront Celia, telling her to have talked to Tahlia about it. And for some reason, they blame Allison! She’s confused by the attack. Tahlia says that she needed to question her motivations but now that she sees her picture, she knows she wants to be there. Natalie brings up a good point—What about the next time Tahlia does poorly? What then? She says that if Tahlia does not want to be there, “we” will force her out. Aminat thinks Natalie is part of the “we.” Hello, it’s a competition, you’re all there to be better than the other girl! Aminat goes up in Natalie’s face, calling her stupid and using it as an excuse to let Natalie know she doesn’t like her. It ends as Tahlia calls them bitches and backstabbers.

Okay, while I admit it isn’t fair that Celia told Tyra at panel and I think Aminat was right to say the girls should’ve talked to Tahlia first, Tahlia shouldn’t have told everybody in the house what she was feeling. If she just told Allison, then I could understand the Allison blame game. But the fact she told others, there shouldn’t have been an attack on just Allison.

TYRA MAIL! “Cut it out! I don’t want to see any more blank faces!” Girls figure it is an acting challenge.

The girls meet with Mr. Jay and his army of mannequins. He says they are “clothes hangers” and that term is the kiss of death for models. He punctuates it by pushing over a mannequin. He says they will work on the girls’ face. He introduces Beth Stern, Howard Stern’s model wife. They will talk the girls through scenarios. Allison tries to live with her big eyes. Teyona is told to relax her jaw. Celia aces “mystery.” But then Tahlia works “sensual” as well. She says confidence a few times in confession. Fo aces it as well. Sandra is told to be soft. Mr. Jay praises Natalie as well, calling her Victoria’s Secret.

The girls go to the test. He pulls of a sheet and the girls laugh, but we go to commercial break…

NEW YORK! It’s a carnival cut-out of Tyra’s body. The girls will be posing there, giving expression based on Tyra’s body language. The girls are sent out of the room. Celia is up first. Beth thinks Celia is more concerned about body than face. Fo returns. Sandra is next, thinking it’s easy. She fails. Mr. Jay thinks she’s fasing. Aminat and Allison go with silly faces. Beth feels Allison is having a problem. Natalie succeeds both times. London does well too. Mr. Jay thinks Tahlia tries too hard. And the challenge winner is…Natalie! Tahlia isn’t happy. Oh, is she going to want to go home again? Natalie gets 50% more frames at the next shoot. Beth tells the girl to watch their faces and calls them all winners. Aww, Beth.

TYRA MAIL! “You’re all looking a little pale. I think you need a new color.” Aminat guesses the mail is about facial expressions. NO! WAY! The girls think it’s about body paint.

Tahlia and Celia have a conversation in front of the stairs. Like two adults. Without finger waving and name calling. This is kinda boring. Celia tries to convince Tahlia it wasn’t to humiliate her but that since Tahlia said she didn’t want to be there, it wasn’t fair. Tahlia said she was feeling that. THEN DON’T TELL YOUR COMPETITION IDIOT! Celia worries she is going home.

McKey goes to try on clothes…To be honest, I can’t understand a word out of her mouth because she talks. Too. Damn. Softly.

NEW YORK! The girls board the Barbie Top Model Bus. They meet up with Mr. Jay. He introduces Keith Major, their photographer. The girls will have a colored powder splashed across their face and then emote that color. Sutan pokes around for gossip, asking if everyone is getting along. He knows.

Allison (Pink): She goes for girly. Poor Allison, she’s holding back. I love her, where’s the girl who just posed with every shot in episode 1?

Aminat (Green): She goes for earth. Mr. Jay asks her to finally drop her arm.

Tahlia (Purple): Mr. Jay says she’s blah and asks for more. He asks for what she is thinking of. She says sensual. He doesn’t feel that bodes well.

Teyona (Yellow): She goes for happy and joyful, and gets cheesy. Mr. Jay is not happy. He doesn’t think she can smile.

Fo (Red): Goes for anger. Mr. Jay loves it!

London (Blue): Mr. Jay loves her shoot as well. Yay! She’s my other favorite and Allison’s floundering.

Natalie (Orange): I’d think Florida, Jay goes with passion. “Throbbing” passion. She got the extra frames. He tells her she needed those extra frames. Natalie wasn’t the same girl who won the challenge. Natalie probably saw the pictures beforehand!

Sandra (White): Goes for angel and peace. Even Mr. Jay is surprised. She says she’s confident.

Celia (Gray): Wants to wow Jay to off-seat Tyra’s feelings. Mr. Jay reminds her it is about the face. She relaxes and Jay says she does well. She’s happy.

Hannah Montana. The one time I’ll root for Tyra.

TYRA MAIL! Someone’s going home. Who will it be? Sandra asks the picture of Tyra for a picture. Celia tries to find the perfect panel outfit incase she’s leaving.

PANEL! The little girl is upstaging Tyra! There are prizes, there are judges, Nigel’s wife should worry—Tyra keeps adding sexy adjectives before his name, there is Ms. J’s bowtie and the guest judge is Keith Major. Aminat is up first. Nigel thinks it is modern and Tyra loves her lips. Natalie is next, applauded for winning the challenge. The light doesn’t angle her face, so she has to figure out how to do it. Tahlia walks up and Tyra makes her change her hair. She says she played volleyball. Tyra praises her for looking better in pictures than in person. She is told to let the photographer follow her. Nigel asks her the million dollar question. She tells them that she was just questioning but she was validated. Nigel tells her not to do that on the competition. She has to prove she wants to be there.

The judges love Celia and the photographer praises her. No mention about last week. Teyona is called a chameleon, Tyra’s favorite word. She says that maybe the Obamas will hang it in their kitchen. They love London’s outfit, but want more variation in her face. It is her strongest look, but she needs more. Allison is also called modern but Ms. J loves her neck. Nigel and Keith complain that it is the same look. Nigel says to change it up. Sandra is up and Tyra picked a straight-on shot. They tell her to work when facing front to the camera. Fo is last. She gets compared to Janice and is praised.

Top Models in Action! This week is winner Whitney. She’s getting covers and is a spokesmodel. Go Whit!

The judges deliberate. The judges aren’t sure about Tahlia’s personality or Celia’s ability to be in the industry. Nigel and Tyra still love Allison’s look. Tyra loves that Fo is smiling with her eyes. ELIMINATION! The first name is Fo. Teyona is next, followed by Tahlia, Aminat, Allison (yay!), Natalie, and London (double yay!). Sandra and Celia are in the bottom two. Sandra: Lovely girl, beautiful picture, not that much variation. Seems only good in profile. Can she work face on? Celia: Gorgeous pictures, best style in competition. Tyra lashes at Celia for throwing Tahlia under the bus. So, who’s staying? Celia. Wait…they are cutting the bitch before the recap episode? What? Tyra tells her not to mess with another girl’s career because she’s had it happen. Naomi? Tyra gives Sandra some tips. Sandra looks like she isn’t listening to a word Tyra says. She hugs the girls and leaves.

She says she’s mad and still insists she’s the best. Good lord, Tyra, you sent her home before taking a pin to that ego? Why does it look like Allison’s head is pasted on to someone else’s body in the end picture?

Still in the running:

Celia

Aminat

Tahlia

Kortnie

Isabella

Nijah

Allison

London

Sandra

Natalie

Fo

Jessica

Teyona 

Next week: The acting challenge. Paulina helps them with this. And Clay Aiken is on!

So, surprised the cycle bitch went home so early? Who do you think will step in and take her place? Natalie, Aminat and Celia have shown themselves to be what I call “stealth bitches.” Are they up for a full time gig?

Send Us Your Tired, Your Broke and Your Bitchy Models

Last week on Top Model: The models had a runway lesson with Ms. J where Allison sucked. But she got it together for the runway challenge for Jill Stuart. Jill, Ms. J and Ann Shoket chose Natalie as the challenge winner. She also angered Tahlia by naming her picture as the worst. But Tahlia won praise for her photo while Natalie didn’t. But in the end, Nijah sent home. Who will be joining her tonight?

Wanna be on top?

New York! The girls come back to see Sandra’s picture. Sandra blathers on about how awesome she is. The girls though can’t stand it. Tahlia however remembers how well she did. The doorbell rings and Toccara (Cycle 3) enters the house. She lost weight. But she also brought clothes and is planning a slumber party—the clothes are cute sleepwear. Toccara was sent over to the Model Wannabe-Dome to talk about personality because hers fills the room. So the girls go around talking about their personality, which leads Sandra to criticize Kortnie for not being serious. Tahlia talks about her burns again. As Toccara asks about Sandra’s pictures, the girls jump on her. So Toccara makes them go on the runway to avoid a slap down. Toccara says she can’t tell the girls apart. Here’s a hint, Toccara, Sandra’s the bitch.

The girls hug and bid Toccara adieu.

TYRA MAIL! “If you can’t move to the music, then that might pose a problem.” Posing challenge. Oh, that’s right, Benny Ninja’s on!

And there he is! That man can move his body in ways that shouldn’t. He introduces Sky Nellor, a DJ and a model. Is she Aussie or Brit? Sky changes up the songs and Benny changes up his poses accordingly. London and Sandra pose to heavy metal. London wins. Benny tells Sandra to look through her eyes and doesn’t give her good reviews. Allison and Natalie go up next and Allison is told not to dance but to pose. Country trips girls up again. Kortnie isn’t so great as Celia blows her off the floor. Tahlia is told to be confident and not to think about it. Aminat hits jazz well. Confidence is this week’s lesson as Benny repeats it.

Allison talks with Celia about being shy and how she has to work on not being stiff. She confesses she needs to remain positive because negative leads downhill. Bless her, she’s been watching the show!

NEW YORK! The girls get up and get ready. TYRA MAIL! “Practice your posin’ if you want to be chosen.”

The girls meet up with Benny, saying they are the headlienrs of a fashion event. They are modeling the Blonds, one of whom is a drag queen. The winner will be the model who gets the loudest cheers for her poses. The girls report to hair and make up to get dragged out. Where’s Jaslene when you need her? Benny opens the show. He explains the concept to the audience. Sky pumps up the music.

Allison: Gets booed.

Teyona: Gets cheered.

Kortnie: Mixed.

Sandra: Booed louder than Allison’s.

Celia: Gets loud cheers. She looks better with long hair.

Winner: Celia. Duh.

Aminat: Booed.

London: Booed.

Tahlia: Booed. Man, this heat is not well-liked.

Natalie: Cheered.

Fo: Mixed.

Winner: Natalie. She was the only one they liked this time around.

Celia v Natalie. Natalie almost fell and Benny tells her to land in a pose. Celia wins it all.

Back at the Model Wannabe-Dome, Tahlia has hit rock bottom, yet again. Allison tries to get Tahlia to open up and she admits she wants to go home. Allison is surprised and tells it to Celia. So Tahlia is the one Celia raises the house against.

McKey, darling, OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK UP. I can barely hear you!

And I want to see Tyra give Hannah Montana a smack down.

TYRA MAIL! “Models aren’t the only ones that migrate to New York to make their dreams come true.” The girls guess they will be birds.

They board the Barbie Top Model Bus and pass Delancey Street. They go to makeup and Tahlia confesses her heart to either Celia or her hair person, I can’t tell. I think the hair person is more sympathetic than Celia. She wants Tahlia out. The girls board a boat where they meet Mr. Jay. He gives them a history lesson about the immigrants and will shoot in the old fashion. Benny will be in the shots as the husband. They get off at Ellis Island. My great-grandparents passed through there on their way from Greece. Brian Edwards will be the photographer.

Sandra: Mr. Jay asks her to open up and that still does not equal stiff. She says she did different things: “I put my hands in my pockets.” Good lord.

Fo: Does pretty well.

London: Says her inspiration is Kate Winslet in Titanic. Mr. Jay praises her for having a character the entire time.

Natalie: Pretends to be from Croatia, her ancestors’ home.

Teyona: Mr. Jay instructs her to be more dynamic. She delivers.

Kortnie: Mr. Jay says she struggle and her pose is shapeless. Benny tries to give her advice.

Tahlia: Mr. Jay praises Tahlia’s growth. I just see the same look in her eyes.

Celia: Is quick.

Aminat: Mr. Jay stops her to tell her to use her face.

Allison: Loved the photo shoot. I think she did well.

TYRA MAIL. Someone’s going home. The girls look nervous, even Sandra. Her accent got heavier at this point but disappears for her to announce that Tahlia will go home. Tahlia says the photo shoot gave her a confidence boost. However the girls are tired of Tahlia’s mood swings—especially the “I don’t want to be here” “I want to be here” pendulum.

PANEL! I still don’t get the posing with children thing. There are prizes, there are judges, there is Ms. J’s bowtie, and the guest judge is Benny Ninja. Teyona is up first. She gets praised. London is up next. She is told to be unison with her group shots. We get funny faces from Ms. J and Nigel. Sandra is next. Benny tells the judges she couldn’t change. Allison is praised as editorial and Paulina gives her a back story: older sister taking care of the children because mother died. Aminat is told to step it up. Fo follows Paulina doesn’t like it. Natalie gets compared to Keira Knightley. Oh my god, she does! Kortnie follows and falls flat. Tyra tells her to work on tension and working hard. Tahlia is next and is absolutely gorgeous. She gets praise on praise. Except that her outfit is condemned. Celia is the last and is applauded for winning the challenge. She gets upstaged by a child. She is given advice.

Top Models in Action time! Nigel tells us about April from Cycle 2. She has become a correspondent and still models. I’d care if I had watched Cycle 2.

The judges deliberate. Nigel correctly notes that Celia has the same pose in his shoot and in the photo before him. ELIMINATION! The first girl called is Tahlia. You know the girls aren’t happy right now. She is followed by: Teyona, Allison, Natalie, London, Aminat, Celia and Fo. Sandra and Kortnie land in the bottom two. Sandra’s the bitch, but she was number one last week. Kortnie has the personality. Kortnie: Pretty and alert in photos but dead in pictures. Sandra: Pretty girl but just resting on her looks. Sandra stays and the camera focuses on Celia. That was odd. She comes forward and tells Tyra about Tahlia’s comments. Tyra tells her that Tahlia didn’t tell the judges that and so they made their decision. She sends Celia back and then hugs Kortnie. She gives her advice before Kortnie does the group hug.

She goes back and writes a note. She says she’s glad Celia stood up but also defends Tahlia as well. Classy girl.

Still in the running:

Celia

Aminat

Tahlia

Kortnie

Isabella

Nijah

Allison

London

Sandra

Natalie

Fo

Jessica

Teyona

Next week: The models get into a fight and Celia worries she’s upset Tyra.

What do you think of Celia’s decision to tell Tyra about Tahlia’s comments? Will Celia remain past next week?