Nostalgia Nook: The Continuing TV Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

“Full House” ended in 1995, after nine years on TV. But Mary-Kate and Ashley continued to perform after that. They got their own sitcom on ABC’s prestigious “TGIF” lineup called “Two of a Kind.”

In it, Mary Kate and Ashley play the twin daughters of a college professor, Kevin (Christopher Sieber). He’s a single dad and needs help dealing with his pre-teen children. So he hires Carrie, one of his students, to be their babysitter. She provides them with the female guidance they lack and UST with their father. Here, the twins continue the molds they started in “It Takes Two.” Mary-Kate plays a tomboy; Ashley the girly-girl. The only thing I really remember about this show was Sieber as the dad and I’m glad he’s found acclaim on the Great White Way.

Three Year Anniversary!

Three years already? Sometimes it feels like it. Other times, I’m surprised when I scroll to find an old post.

So, what I am doing to mark the third anniversary? I’m announcing my summer recaps!

I will continue to do the Doctor Who recaps (though I would like to note that Jacob is no longer recapping the show over at Television Without Pity). However, the last new episode airs this Saturday, June 11th. This season has been split in two and the last six episodes will air in the fall.  I will start to recap sister series Torchwood when the series resumes on July 8th.

I have a few Samantha Browns sitting on my DVR that my parents are starting to wonder if I’ll ever watch. I should catch up on them. Also, Samantha Brown filmed some new Disney things—and you know I love Disney!

I have seen some of the promos for the new summer shows on ABC Family. I haven’t watched any of their original programming since “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” lost my interest. I have heard “Pretty Little Liars” is good, but I never got into the promos. However, I have seen promos for “Switched at Birth.” While the premise sounds like something from a soap opera and the girls look nothing like their families, so why didn’t anyone question this before aside, I am intrigued by the fact that one of the main characters is deaf and played by a hearing-impaired actress.

I know I said I would continue recapping Glee. Yeah…here’s the deal with that. When I started recapping, I would watch the show and recap as the show aired. My pause button got a lot of use. And there were times I was just not interested in doing that while watching the shows. Then I got sick and recapped “How I Met Your Mother.” I liked that style a lot better for scripted shows. But by then, Glee was so advanced that I decided not to go back.

Maybe next season.

But this summer, Oxygen is bringing us a new reality series—The Glee Project! I wasn’t going to recap it—wasn’t even sure I’d watch it. Then the contestants were announced. One of the contests is 18-years-old Damian McGinty from Derry, North Ireland. Yes—that would be the same Damian McGinty who I’ve seen go from high-pitched teenager to deep-voiced young adult with Celtic Thunder. Turns out he’s a Gleek! So…now I’m watching.

Don’t worry though. I will try to remain as objective as possible. I promise.

“The Glee Project” begins airing on June 12th…which is the same day as the Tony Awards. Damn. Okay, my first recap might be a bit late.

For now, here’s the finalists first video, “Firework.” Enjoy!

BREASTS, SEX and DEATH!

Last season on “The Secret Life of the American Teenager”: Nice girl Amy discovered she was pregnant at the age of fifteen, fathered by the school manwhore Ricky. Meanwhile, she fell in love with good boy Ben, whose friends Henry and Alice had sex issues of their own. Good Christian girl Grace started the season dating Jack, dumped him when she caught him with bad girl school slut Adrian, dated Ricky and then somehow ended up back together with Jack and best friends with Adrian. Adrian and Ricky yo-yoed between each other, with a side dalliance of her step-brother. Grace’s brother tried to marry his sweetheart, sending Josie Bisset and John Schneider into panic mode. Amy’s parents split up and sister Ashley moved in with her dad. In the end, Amy gave birth to a baby boy named John and Mr. Molina is still the sanest character on this show despite being married to a pregnant nutcase.

Phew.

We start this second summer season with Amy trying to balance motherhood, student life and making herself dinner. Ashley comes over just to taunt her it seems before leaving. Molly Ringwald enters and Amy pretty much calls her mother fat. Turns out, Molly’s not fat—she’s preggers! (In real life too). Amy’s a bit upset because, well, the one person she should be able to lean on is now in the same boat as she. They argue before we segue into…

Amy’s Dad’s house, where Mimsy is staying over. They comment on how Molly is obviously pregnant and Mimsy tells him to warn Amy about how she’s dressing. She says she remembers conceiving Molly after the end of World War II, though we all know Molly isn’t THAT old. Mimsy excitedly leaves with the hot bus driver, after declaring she likes Amy’s Dad’s house better.

Next, Ben seems to be going on about breasts. Running theme, it seems. Apparently, the Sausage King found a new girl of his own. But Ben’s freaking out and Henry and Alice are not helping. Henry ribs his girlfriend who leaves as we learn that the Sausage King’s girl is…

JENNIFER COOLIDGE? Tom’s prostitute “friend” from last season? She tells Sausage King that she’s a court report and they’re just cute. Even if she’s a prostitute.

Meanwhile, Adrian’s mom and dad are getting closer, which leaves Ricky and Adrian without a place to have sex. They are trying to work it out when Adrian gets another call. It’s Grace, announcing she’s having sex with Jack and Adrian tries to talk her out of it.

When did Grace and Adrian switch personalities?

We come back to Ricky bringing Molly something other than soup. He quiets John so that Amy can berate her mom about the baby. When did this world go topsy-turvy? Ricky’s excited to hear about the baby, but Amy’s not. She actually has realistic concerns that Molly clearly can’t believe that her teenage daughter is smarter than she.

Meanwhile, Adrian goes to stop Grace’s planned night with Jack. Remember every conversation Grace and Adrian had last season? Flip it! You have that scene.

Meanwhile, Amy’s Dad and Ashley end up at the same restaurant as the Sausage King and Jennifer Coolidge. They talk and Ashley recognizes Jennifer for what she is—a prostitute. She even proves it when Ashley tells her the baby’s name is John and she mistakes it for…well, you know. Meanwhile, David (Molly’s boyfriend) walks in and Amy’s Dad spills the beans about the pregnancy. David is shocked to say the least and wonders if the baby is really Amy’s Dad. He replies, “Nope, I’ve been neutered.” And I do recall something to that affect being uttered by Molly last season. Mazel tov, David!

Ben stops by, which Ashley told us in the last scene he does whenever Ricky is there. Ben wonders if John will be moved into the nursery because he’s uncomfortable with Ricky in Amy’s room. Ben smells the steak and worries that Ricky is trying to worm his way into Molly’s heart. And then Amy catches him staring at her breasts, he comments that she’s showing too much than asks for sex. Ricky enters and excuses himself quickly. Amy reminds Ben she just had a baby and goes to thank Ricky for helping with John. He offers to stay but Ben replies he’ll be doing that. Amy calls time out on the alpha male fight. Ricky leaves and the baby cries.

David calls Molly, clearly schnockered. He asks if he can come over and then asks if she’s pregnant. Molly can hear the booze in his voice. Molly’s surprised when he replies that Amy’s Dad will give him a ride.

It seems John Schneider is going to a third world country on another physician’s jet plane. Tom thinks that’s unfair but then spills the beans about his sister’s plans with Jack. Josie doesn’t believe him and calls Grace. Apparently, she and John are fighting. She hangs up with her mother and there’s Jack, in naught but his boxers. He confirms that she wants to do this and we fade to black.

Ricky goes to visit Adrian, much to dad’s displeasure. She and Dad argue and Ricky leaves because he suddenly has no urge to have sex with Adrian. Ricky wonders why dad’s so concerned when he (Ricky) knows more about Adrian and claims to be a better father than he. He hypotheses that dad blew the proposal and that’s why he wasn’t allowed to be in Adrian’s mother. When did the teens get wiser than the adults on this program? Hello?

The Sausage King wakes his son up to tell him he’s in love. Will someone tell him what Jennifer Coolidge really does? Please? He warns Ben so that he won’t be surprised when he sees Jennifer at the breakfast table and then asks Ben for a condom. Ben has a whole drawer full. The King takes two.

Amy’s Dad and Ashley are surprised to find Molly asleep on his kitchen table. She sends Ashley to bed and then denies she’s pregnant. She makes sure that his vasectomy worked. He says ten years should be proof enough. He then offers his bed so that she can get some rest and volunteers to go help Amy with the baby. He congratulates his soon-to-be ex, who is still reeling from shcok.

Jack is getting dressed and asks if Grace is okay. She’s a bit…surprised. So’s he…turns out she’s the aggressor. They both liked sex. Wait, did Jack go all the way with Adrian…I thought they only had oral…I’m confused. Anyway, Jack makes sure that Grace is fine emotionally. Aww, he’s so sweet for a sixteen years-old. He even proposes—when they turn 18, of course. None of this Ben and Amy not-marriage. Jack comes down to discover a distraught Josie Bisset. OH GOD THEY KILLED JOHN SCHNEIDER! Dear John, Stop taking roles where you die! Love, Me and my sister.

We come back to a happy John, a clean kitchen, a tire Amy’s Dad and an impressed Amy. Dad implores his daughter to be nice to her mother now that she’s pregnant, reminding her of what’s been thrown in our face all episode: the roles are now reversed. I think now that John Schneider was killed off, Amy’s Dad is now one of my favorite characters—along with Mr. Molina. Anyway, Amy’s Dad says that there is bad news. She goes straight to Ashley, but is comforted. We cut to Ricky knocking on Adrian’s door. He asks if she’s seen the news and she replies she hasn’t. He tells her there was a plane crash and she worries immediately about her mother. Once assured mom’s fine, she jumps to terrorist attack. Once assured the nation’s fine, he tells her that it was a private jet. She puts two and two together as we go straight to the Sausage Royal Castle. Ben thinks dad struck out with Jennifer Coolidge, but the King tells his Prince there’s bad news. He immediately asks about Amy and John and is soothed to know it isn’t them.

We finish with Tom trying to comfort his distraught mother, saying he’ll be the man of the family and take care of Josie. She wonders who will take care of Grace, who is crying uncontrollably on her bed. My sister thought that’s when Adrian comes in, I had money on Jack but instead it’s…the credits.

Coming Up This Season: Amy and Ben have difficulties, Molly adjusts to being pregnant, Grace and Jack have problems.

So, what’s up with this season? Isn’t it like we stepped into the Twilight Zone, particularly with Adrian and Grace? And why kill of John Schneider? It’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it? Have sex and your dad perishes in a plane crash! And why can’t I stop the niggling feeling that Schneider really isn’t dead?

Hello, Little John

Last time on Secret Life: Amy goes into labor and is quite irritable. She demands Dairy Shack burgers as all the regulars gravitate toward the hospital. Everybody flashes back to eight months and two weeks prior when Ricky entered Amy’s life.

The family watches Amy sleep. They start to bicker but Molly is called out when her phone vibrates. Amy’s Dad and Ashley talk about what would’ve happened 50 years ago as Ben comes in to talk to Amy. She’s not coherent and Ben says he obviously can’t be in the room for the birth (see: Him fainting during a contraction last week). Ben offers the camera to a family member and Amy asks Ashley to take it. She refuses, saying no one wants to see the birth. The doctor comes in as Amy is much calmer this time around, after the epidural. She says it’ll be soon and Amy worries about the pain. Molly tells her to focus on the baby.

Hospital! The Blabbermouth Duo sit in the waiting room, with Madison asking for coffee. Lauren tells her to run on adrenaline like the night they found out Amy was pregnant. But Madison convinces her to go for a coffee run. They end up getting a small group while Tammy and Tom consider getting a hotel room. Grace ix-nays the idea as she, Jack and Adrian join Alice and Henry in joining the Blabbermouth Duo on a coffee run. Alice admits to Lauren she is getting Henry back. I don’t know, he’s pretty smitten with Ashley.

Ben comes out to meet Ricky, who has no clue what is exactly going on in there. Ben notices he still has the camera and shoves it at Ashley. She refuses but a nurse says Amy wants to see Ashley—with the camera. Amy’s Dad tries to talk to Ricky, asking him if he wants to call anyone. Ashley comes back out a little woozy, which causes Ben to collapse. Ricky helps him to a seat. Ben admits he can’t hear about Amy in pain while Ricky feels guilty. He looks guilty. Ricky says he should get a vasectomy. Even Ben thinks that’s going a bit too far. Ricky has a great moment as he realizes all that he’s done. But he’s still having doubts about being a father but Ben gives him a pep talk. And he offers to be Ricky’s friend. Ricky resists and wonders about his role in his son’s life. Ben pleads down to a truce. Ricky agrees as we go to commercials. That was a sweet scene.

Hospital! The group returns from their coffee run. Adrian gives Ricky a coffee, saying she has one for Ben and another for Amy’s Dad. She asks how Ricky is doing but he turns it back to her. Adrian admits that she’ll be jealous when she sees Ricky hold the baby, but she does care for him. She tells him she is there for him. And she tells him to be there for his son. He hugs her as Grace comes up to say they will be leaving. It’s getting late. Grace tries to convince Ricky that he’s in love with Adrian and vice versa. She tells him she might be getting back with Jack while Ricky thinks she can do better. I think so as well. I think she and Jack are better as friends.

The Sausage King has arrived! He tells Ben he is proud and Ben admits he’s been irresponsible. That’s why the Sausage King is proud. He also knows that Ben loves Amy, as much as the Sausage King loved the Sausage Queen. Ben encourages his dad to date again but dad is happy as he is. He realizes Ben’s mom was his One and feels Amy is his son’s One.

Henry and Alice got back together? They wonder why sex could be so bad while they enjoy making out. Tom complains about going to the hospital but Grace reminds him that he wanted go. She asks Tom to leave so she can talk to Jack. He tells her that he loves her and she repeats it. They kiss…Where’s John Schneider? His face would probably be priceless. Grace reaffirms that she is still waiting till marriage but not necessarily till after medical school. Well, instead of a John Schneider face, we get Tom singing “My Girl.”

Molly comes out to update Amy’s Dad. She says they are almost there while he wonders if it ever took that long. She says it did as the doctor comes out to say that Amy is ready to push. She says Amy even wants Dad in there. Molly convinces him to go in and calling her “Grandma,” he agrees.

Hospital! Ben and Ricky wait outside as “Stand by Me” plays. Amy’s Dad comes out and motions. Ben signals that Ricky can go inside. Amy’s Dad rejoins Ashley and Molly at Amy’s bedside, where she is holding her baby. Ricky looks ready to cry. He refuses to hold his son though and almost cries again. And that convinces him to hold the boy. Ben and the Sausage King are next. He kisses Amy after a moment seeing Ricky holding the baby. Ben holds the baby, who cries even though he was giggling in Ricky’s arms. Wow, show. The baby stops crying in the Sausage King’s arms, maybe because he’s bouncing the baby. Babies like to be bounced. Ben goes back to cameraman, taping the special moment. We see Amy, baby, Dad, Molly, and Ashley asleep. Grace, Jack, Tom and Tammy show up to see the baby…wow, this is a really long version of “Stand by Me”…and Adrian comes. And now it’s the Blabbermouth Duo, giggling with their best friend. Henry and Alice follow behind with Leon and Donovan…good lord, show, is everybody ever on this show going to be on?

The montage follows with Ricky holding his baby as Amy sleeps and we go to commercials.

Moving van! Molly says they have to get cleaned up and return to the hospital. Amy’s Dad says his stuff and Ashley’s are in the van and they are going to start their new life. They say good-bye and leave. Molly follows them outside, saying she’ll miss her youngest daughter. Ashley tells her mom she loves her. Molly cries as they pull away. Then the van pulls into the house next door. Huh, I was expecting him to have bought the house. Molly is thrilled. Ashley and Amy’s Dad are scared.

Adrian’s Dad comes over for a visit. They talk about Max and Adrian worries that dad’s there to get her back for him. Dad says he’s there to tell her he left his wife because he has an unresolved issue named Adrian. He offers to take her out for some food, trying to be a father. It’s good not to see them fighting.

Amy tries to send Ben home for some rest. Ben offers to do her homework and she says he’s done too much already. She thanks him for being there for her. Ben says good-bye but asks about the baby’s name. Amy doesn’t know. Ashley comes in and hugs Ben before sending him home. Amy lets Ashley name him and says “John.” The girls start singing “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” The parents walk in, worrying about what their daughter and her baby’s name. They are happy to hear it is “John.” Molly says Amy and John are going home tomorrow.

Amy is sleeping standing up as the microwave beeps. Molly tries to help her daughter prepare a bottle as the doctor who will help her breastfed will be by later the day. Amy’s hormonal. Molly offers to make John’s bottle for her daughter. Amy’s Dad is making Ashley go to school but lets her go see John. They see Molly’s new employer come in with a giant teddy bear. Amy’s Dad is jealous and says he wants to get a motorcycle. Ashley asks for a dog. He agrees. Molly’s employer is just there to check on her. Molly admits she would like another child again, with someone who isn’t Amy’s Dad. Apparently, Molly is serious (Molly Ringwald is also pregnant in real life. This is probably the set up).

Amy feeds John and bonds.

We go back to high school as Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” plays. The Blabbermouth Duo high five Alice, Henry and Ben. Grace and Jack walk in hand-in-hand. Alice and Henry kiss. Adrian walks the halls and watches Grace take a pill. She’s really looking for Ricky. Ben updates Mr. Molina about Amy and asks about his wife. Mr. Molina is surprised at how mature Ben is from the wide-eyed boy who entered his office at the beginning of the year.

We get a shot of the sleeping mother and infant. Ricky comes by to visit his son. Aww.

And that’s season one…two…good lord, I hate cable seasons! I’m sticking to Summer Season and Winter Season. Summer 09 season starts in June. What do you think is coming? Molly’s pregnancy? Ashley and Dad waging war against Molly? Grace and Jack round two? Ben v Ricky? More John Schneider?

Quote of the Episode:

Ben: Did you talk to Amy about this stuff?

Ricky: No, why?

Ben: Because I was just trying to cheer you up.

See you in June! Remember, I still recap “America’s Next Top Model,” “CSI: NY” and “Eleventh Hour.” 

This One Time at Band Camp...

Sorry for the delay, but as I explained in an earlier recap, work got busy and I got backlogged. So, I’m skipping the last two “Secret Life” episodes and go straight to last Monday’s (3/16) episode.

Last week: Grace got fed up trying to plan a baby shower for Amy with Adrian. Of course, while I find Adrian one of the most 3-dimensional characters on this show, I wouldn’t trust her to water my planets let alone plan a baby shower. Especially since she has problems with her step-brother. Random Hallway Kid, Joe, blackmails people into going so a whole interesting slue of characters show up, including Mr. Molina’s pregnant (!) wife. Meanwhile, Amy’s Dad prepares to move out—and Ashley is going with him. Jack breaks it off with Shawna and Ricky gets serious about becoming a daddy. And at the end, Amy goes into labor as Ben shows up to support her—even suggesting she call Ricky.

We open with Band Camp 2008. Amy, carrying her French Horn, gets distracted when she sees Ricky in the stands. He’s interested too. We flash to him standing in Amy’s hospital room, watching her sleep.

Credits!

Eight months and two weeks ago…(Thank you title card) Ricky and Amy meet. We get to hear Amy’s thoughts as well as Ricky sits down with her. They talk about boyfriends. Oh hey, John Schneider will be showing up! Sorry, sorry, back to the flashback. A girl comes up to say to Ricky and reminds him her name is Gail. She’s upset…Oh, I think she’s one of Ricky’s flames. He says he remembers her, kissing her but finding out she had a boyfriend. He says that was why he was asking about boyfriends and then asks her out. She says she will be the freshman soloist that night. A girl comes up to warn Amy about Ricky. Warning not heeded, Blonde Girl.

Amy calls Madison and Lauren as they go to orientation. They coo over Jack as he approaches Grace. He congratulates her on making cheerleading. She says she’s happy to be on the bottom. Aww, it’s the start of their relationship. They are adorable as he tries to ask her to go steady. She’s worried about her parents and doesn’t want to go steady yet either. Jack doesn’t want her to go out with any other guys and she flirts that she may. Oh, Grace. Our friend the noisy secretary comes to direct the Blabbermouth Duo back to their room.

Henry and Alice blog or play tetris or something as Ben wants his braces off. I understand Ben’s wish to get them off. Oh, that was a happy day. Ben complains about how he doesn’t have a girlfriend. The Sausage King comes in and tells Ben there will be a delay until he reveals it is all a big goof on his son. He brings Henry and Alice along, even though Henry asks if they could stay behind by themselves. Alice, Sausage King and Ben all respond “No.”

Adrian is home reading a book as her mom comes home. She gives her the third degree about her recent lingerie purchases, asking who it is this time. She bugs mom for a car, who says they’ll go tonight and then tells her daughter to mind her own business about what she has to do that afternoon.

We flashback as Amy wakes up. Molly Ringwald comes in with food but Amy wants a burger and shake from the Dairy Shack. Ricky offers to go for her and Amy sends him away coldly. Molly coaches her through a contraction as Amy regrets not going to birthing class earlier and demands drugs. Molly reminds her she can’t eat after the epidural, so she complains about being hungry and in pain. Molly distracts Amy by asking what she will call her son, who has not thought about it at all. For some reason, she thinks since she is a minor she can’t name a baby. Doesn’t work like that sweetie. She panics.

We go back to Band Camp, where Amy practices as Ricky enters. Amy’s getting nervous around Ricky, who gives her the old “picture the audience naked” advice. Trust me, it doesn’t work. Just look over their heads at a spot on the wall. Amy says her lips are dry and Ricky kisses her, and then offers her water.

Tom asks Grace if there is any news about the baby. She says no. Tom offers her her promise ring back, confusing Grace. Tom and Tammy are still together, but he thinks his sister needs her ring back. Tom asks Grace if she was seeing Jack. She denies it as Tom says that the ring is so she doesn’t have anything to tell him. He’s a great big brother.

Grace flashes back to her dad telling her that she’s not going out with Jack nor going steady with just one guy. Grace stuns her dad with the news no one else is asking and that she knows he told Rev. Stone to tell Jack to ask her out. John Schneider says Rev. Stone approached him and asks if they have kissed. Sounds like Daddy Dearest didn’t like Jack at all. We comes back as Grace puts the ring on. Ben calls Grace to give her an update that the baby will be awhile. Grace tells Ben to tell Amy she’s praying for her, but then backtracks. Ben assures her that Amy wants Grace to pray for her. As he hangs up, his driver reminds him he is outside and that the Sausage King will come when Amy’s Dad calls. That’ll be forever, knowing Amy’s Dad. Alice and Henry are there, IM-ing each other while sitting next to each other. Ben figures they are talking about him and leaves, but a nurse stops him.

We flashback to Alice and Henry eight months and two weeks ago, with Alice saying no to sex with Henry. He says he doesn’t want to be a virgin at 30. Ben just marvels at his teeth. I know the feeling, buddy. Ben is looking forward to high school. Am I the only one who thought episode 1 was also Ben’s first day of school and that it was already about a few weeks in?

Ben offers Amy food, but she still demands Dairy Shack. She then has a contraction, which floors Ben. Literally, he isn’t ready for Amy in labor. Molly runs in to help, trying to coax an irritable Amy into doing something. Amy asks when her contractions will stop as Mom duhs when the baby comes.

At the hospital, Amy’s Dad enjoys the burger Ben brought as Ashley watches. Amy finally got her Dairy Shack, but she’s still irritable. She complains about the pain but Amy’s Dad and Ashley can’t cheer her up. Amy wants a frip but can’t get anyone to work with her. Amy’s Dad holds Amy’s hand during a contraction, surprised at his daughter’s strength. He comforts a crying Amy, he does soothing dad well. Ashley finds Molly talking to Mimsy, who is at her boyfriend’s house. Ashley tells her the relationship with Thomas is over and swears off guys for a while. As Molly runs away to help Amy, Ashley flashes to…

Ashley used to dance? Amy’s Dad is vindicated to see she is still dancing. He knew the “drinking coffee with my friends” was a rouse because Ashley doesn’t have any friends. He says he’ll pick her up later, he has to help a woman with her furniture. Ashley realizes then that Dad’s cheating and I’d say he did it with the dance instructor, judging by their banter.

Ricky sits down to Ashley, asking her some questions. Ashley responds meanly and Ricky pleads to be her friend. He needs her as everyone else will hate him. Ashley wonders if Ricky can be friends as we go back to…

Band Camp 2008. Ricky coaches Amy through her piece. She wonders if he wants to be friends, but he tells her he wants to be boyfriend/girlfriend. She rejoices as Ricky offers to walk her to her cabin. He even carries her French horn and holds her hand. Aww. She mentally reminds herself to “Be cool.”

Tom comes back to Grace for a baby update. Same as last time, Tommy boy. Tom says he’ll call Adrian, which Grace says will make Tammy jealous. Tom says he knows and that jealousy will spice up the relationship. Okay…Grace calls Adrian, who is waiting for news. She still pines for Ricky and goes on about her afternoon. She also tries to find out about Grace’s feelings for Jack. She changes the subject and says Adrian should drive them to the hospital to be there for Amy. They’ve already been there for her through so much already, Grace argues. Adrian correctly points out that Grace has been the one there for Amy.

We flashback to Adrian’s mom trying to convince her daughter to come downstairs. Adrian says she doesn’t want to meet her mother’s new boyfriend and Adrian’s mom threatens to return the car. That gets her daughter moving. Adrian’s Mom thanks Amy’s Dad for helping her to pick out the car and dealing with the salesman. He says he hopes she likes him and she reminds Amy’s Dad he’s married. Adrian comes down to see the car. She rejoices and hugs her mom.

Back in the present, Adrian leaves. Tom calls Jack, who flat out says that Jack kissed Grace. Tom tells Jack that the girls are going to the hospital and asks for a ride. At the hospital, the Blabbermouth Duo come for a visit. Molly leaves to go update Dad and Ashley as Amy reveals she is still irritable. She’s also too far along to go home but not far along enough to get the drugs. Madison updates Amy about who is waiting for her. The Blabbermouth Duo try to comfort their friend as she gives them a PSA about sex. Madison and Lauren need the awkward turtle right now. What do you say when you’re fifteen and your best friend is in labor.

Molly flashes to eight months and two weeks ago…Ashley comes home and is her usual self. Molly wishes Amy were there so she could talk to someone. Amy’s Dad says they could talk and Molly doesn’t respond. He tells her that’s the problem and leaves. We return to Molly and Amy’s Dad looking sad in the waiting room.

The doctor assures Amy she’ll give her the epidural when the time is right. She encourages Amy to let go off her anger, it’ll help the process. Amy curses her mom, the class and Ricky.

Ricky brings her to the closed mess hall, offering her coffee and hamburgers. Ricky praises her performance at the concert and assures Amy that they will not get into trouble. Be prepared to eat your own words, Ricky. Amy gets the scoop on her new teachers from Ricky, who in turn tries to get information about Amy’s life outside band. She tells him about the Blabbermouth Duo, Dad, Molly and Ashley. He deflects the question about his family and asks to move to the couch, more comfortable. Amy wants to go back but he convinces her to stay. So, they move to the couch and continue talking. And by talking, they mean kissing. I can’t tell if Ricky is being sincere or if he’s just trying to get into her pants at this point. Amy says she should go. Go, Amy, go. But Ricky convinces her to stay for a few more minutes.

Amy returns to the present and realizes that she should’ve left. She says “Crap,” but assures her baby it is not about him but her.

Quote of the Episode:

Amy: How do we even know I have a birth canal? *Anne looks on incredulous* What? I don’t know anything about anything besides the French horn!

Can anyone explain Twilight’s popularity to me? Because I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

Next week: The entrance of Ricky and Amy’s baby!

So, did you enjoy the flashback to the past? Enjoy band camp? Any ideas what Amy will name the baby?

Amy Needs an "I Chose Me" Moment

Last week on Secret Life of the American Teenager: Amy’s Dad and Molly met and argued over prospective parents before they both agreed—with Amy—on Leon and Donovan. Jack and Shawna keep up their slightly illegal affair while Ricky dumps both Grace and Adrian. He confesses to Jack he’s in love with Amy. Meanwhile, Amy and Ben take a break.

Ernie Hudson’s back! He’s surprised to hear that Bryan Callen came back and that Ricky didn’t call him. Ricky reminds him about the whole kissing his daughter episode. He recaps the Bryan Callen arc for Ernie. He is smart enough to know that Ricky is in love. He says he doesn’t love Grace or Adrian and mentions her feelings for her (step) brother. He admits his feelings for Amy, saying maybe he subconsciously wanted Amy to get pregnant. Ernie is incredulous, reminding Ricky will not be able to love until he loves himself. Ricky says he does because he knows he is not Bryan Callen and will never become him. Ernie is proud of the progress and presses Ricky for details about Amy and Baby Boy. Ricky tries to convince himself that Leon and Donovan will be good parents but then realizes he still wants to keep the baby. Ernie’s like “Two steps back.” He wants time with Amy. Ernie’s trying to insert logic into Ricky’s mind. Good luck. That’s like me trying to insert logic into a Mary Sue author’s mind. We go to credit as Ricky declares that Ben is not a problem.

CREDITS!

Amy’s Dad wants to know where Molly is going looking all dolled up. He works out that she is going on an interview. She wonders when he’ll move out. He points out that he has no money so he can’t…besides, it’s also his house. Molly asks Amy’s Dad to make himself scarce when Ricky and Amy meet with Donovan and Leon. He agrees as Ashley comes down to tell her parents Amy’s sick and not going to school. Molly knows this about Ben and Amy’s Dad is surprised to hear they are “taking a break.” He gets the story from Ashley and wonders if Amy should have sex with Ben. At a look from his youngest, he retracts it. He’s learning!

Molly tries to convince Amy to go to school, saying that even if she wasn’t carrying Ricky’s baby, Amy and Ben would still fight over something. Amy wonders if she would be better off with Ricky. Molly tries to squash that thought before asking Amy’s Dad to talk to her. He tells her that guys are bad at apologizing and she should call him. He reminds her that she is beautiful, even pregnant. Dad makes sure she isn’t going to fall for Ricky. Amy knows he has feelings for him. Molly asks them to find Ashley before Amy hints she isn’t too sure about giving up her son for adoption. Dad lets her stay home but encourages her to come out to look for Ashley, asking when she had fun last. As she looks down, he pleads to her not to answer band camp. She laughs and they have a very sweet moment.

He may be a bonehead husband, but he’s a good father.

Ashley, meanwhile, is waiting at a bus stop. A blond boy, named Thomas, says they go to school together. Ashley apologizes, saying she’s been preoccupied with her sister’s pregnancy. Thomas accepts it, countering with the death of his 17-years-old dog. The two commiserate over a…cigarette…as Dad pulls up. Amy wants to wring her neck for smoking and then lets her wait for the bus. He drives off as Thomas offers to skip with her. She refuses. Amy’s surprised that her dad left her there. Dad’s certain Ashley wouldn’t smoke. As he and Amy fight over her wrong choices, he offers to find Ben so they can make up—convinced the two are meant to be together. Amy wonders if fate meant for her to be with Ricky. Dad absolutely disagrees and takes her to school.

Grace is surprised when her mother hands her birth control. Josie Bisset was surprised to see condoms in the bathroom but eventually works out her daughter is still a virgin. Grace is thrilled to get birth control pills but Josie stresses that she should have sex once she’s married. She tells Adrian who is surprised as is Ricky, especially since he dumped her. Adrian reminds Grace not to have sex as she is a Christian before Ricky reminds her about he relationship with brother Max. Adrian admonishes Grace, telling her that people will try to sleep with her now that she has birth control. They argue over Ricky before Jack comes up, remind Grace she is a Christian. The Catholic over here is rolling her eyes. Jack goes to talk to…was that Alice? And adding his two cents is Ricky, repeating Adrian’s warning. Grace says he can call her.

Adrian asks if Ricky is going to sleep with Grace. He says he doesn’t care anymore. He tells Adrian he did care about her but not any more, not with the baby on the way. Adrian tries to convince him that he shouldn’t be with Amy.

Ben meets up with Ashley, saying he had to wait for his driver. Ashley tries to get him to reconcile with Amy so she won’t give the baby up for adoption. Ben says he can’t make that decision and if Amy wants to be with Ricky, he’ll let her. Amy reminds him of the wedding, he reminds her it was a not!marriage. Ben says something that would make Mr. Molina drop to his knees and praise the Lord that something got through—that people under 18 don’t get married because they change their minds. Ben says that Amy may have feelings for Ricky and he can’t put up with her deception. Ashley says her sister is crazy and doesn’t know what she wants. She feels like she is the only sane person in the world, but she’s starting to become the crazy idealist. Mr. Molina is still the sanest person, crazy wife or not.

By the way, the actor who plays Mr. Molina was spotted on "Eleventh Hour" last Thursday (2/12) as a Mexican sneaking his girlfriend and cloned baby into the country. So that's what Mr. Molina does when he isn't going crazy at Ulysses S. Grant High School. 

Molly meets with Ernie Hudson, probably trying to fish for information about Ricky. She calls in Amy and Lauren’s friendship, then remembers Lauren’s mom’s rule about “no seeing the pregnant teen.” Molly is afraid Ricky will go back on the adoption, disappointing Donovan and Leon again. Ernie tells her to trust her gut, advice he always gives. He says to observe Ricky—that’ll answer her questions.

Ricky and Amy talk in the band room. Ricky’s nervous about meeting Donovan and Leon. Amy calms him down, saying that all they want is to meet Ricky. He worries that they might move away or get divorced. Amy’s certain that won’t happen and then realizes Ricky’s having second thoughts. He tries to calm her now. She tells him to be himself as he wonders who that is.

Max brings his (step) sister flowers. She is surprised and says they aren’t courting. He says he is and that he remembers she likes flowers. She can’t remember saying anything about that. She wonders what the flowers mean and he counters he wonders what she means. Adrian is confused, saying they were just going to hang out. She wonders when they are going to have sex. He wants to get to know her first. Adrian asks if he is gay. He’s put off, arguing that if someone doesn’t want to sleep with her, they aren’t gay. She thinks Daddy Dearest is behind it. Max argues he isn’t and just wants to have a regular date with her. Adrian agrees to go.

Grace fields a call, from someone asking if she wants to go somewhere. She’s now Miss Popular. Tom and Grace don’t know why. Josie does and lets Tom go to Tammy’s house. Josie thinks the birth control is the result of her sudden popularity. Really, a girl getting birth control is still a big deal? Maybe it’s because I went to an all-girls school…Grace says she likes the feeling the pills give her and remind her that sex is physical. That reminds me of when I turned 18, minus the sex part. Josie is afraid with Grace’s newfound attraction to sex but Grace still wants to do it with someone she wants to be with till death do them part. Grace fields another call.

It’s Duncan! He knows Jack is with Shawna, saying that they are stupid and obvious. Duncan warns Jack to be careful and to not hurt his sister. Jack assures him that he isn’t with Shawna because she’s a “good time.” Duncan asks him about his plans for Shawna. Jack answers the prom and admits he isn’t sure. He and Duncan go out to hang—like Jack’s court order mentoring advises.

Ricky’s foster mother knows Donovan and Leon and he praises her. Donovan and Leon listen intently. So does Molly, eavesdropping and knows Ricky is sabotaging the adoption. A blind person can tell Ricky is trying to get Donovan and Leon to take in an older child in foster care. Molly asks if Ashley knew about this. She says no as Molly continues to look nervous.

Donovan and Leon talk in the car, feeling that Ricky is screwed up. They don’t want the baby, they want their foster children back. They feel Amy’s baby will be fine no matter what happens. Ricky’s plan worked. I think. Anyway, Adrian and Max come back home and she is surprised she enjoyed going on an actual date. She agrees to do it again as he kisses her good night. She’s over the moon. She cancels a call—from Ricky. He leaves a voice message and then calls Grace. She doesn’t pick up as Josie looks on.

Back at the house, Molly is having a piece of cake. She wonders if Amy’s Dad talked to Donovan, but he forgot. Molly is afraid Ricky will sabotage all the other adoptions. They learn Ben is coming over, courtesy of Ashley, and then Amy’s Dad tells her that Ashley was “smoking” with some guy at the bus stop. Ben rings the bell and Amy is ready to kill him. She asks for one moment of privacy, kicking everyone out. Ben asks if she is in love with Ricky. She says no. Ben asks if she loves him enough to spend the rest of their life together. She says she just loves the baby and says it loud enough so Dad, Molly and Ashley can hear it. Ben says he loves Amy, she asks for some time. They continue to argue over Ricky. She says she can take care of herself and the baby will be adopted. Ben says he doesn’t want her to put the baby up for adoption. He reiterates that he wants to be with her. The family is still listening as Ben kisses Amy.  He lets her think.

As the Chords of Meaningfulness play us out, Amy lets Ben feel her baby kick.

Quote of the Episode:

“We’re not a couple anymore. You’re just some guy living in my garage.” –Molly

Next week: Grace tells Adrian to become a virgin again, Molly forces Amy to get a job and Ben has it out with Ricky. 

Forgiveness All Around! Unless Your Name is Amy.

Last week on Secret Life of the American Teenager: Amy gave Ricky a dose of reality about the baby, Ben got a dose of reality of his own, Molly Ringwald finally called out her younger daughter’s sarcastic nature, a gay couple courted George in hopes of adopting Amy’s baby, Adrian kissed her step-brother, Grace learned the truth about Ricky and Adrian…and then still believed Ricky would come back to her while Ricky gave Amy the okay for adoption.

Amy’s lying on her bed, refusing to go to school. She tries to use “I’m pregnant” as an excuse to stay home sick. Ashley consoles her sister, who hasn’t heard from Ben. She offers to pawn a ring she was given by the waitress from two weeks. Amy tells Ashley about Donovan and Leon. She doesn’t support her sister’s decision and tells her to not just give the baby away. She first accuses Amy of giving the baby up so someone else could do what she should and then to keep Ben.

And now the Sausage King is singing a different tune. He tells Ben that 15 is too young to be married but he did his best. And the Sausage King is proud of his son and tries to convince him that he did the right thing. Ben is standing aside for Ricky. The Sausage King drags his son to school.

CREDITS!

Shauna the Slut calls Jack, sounding like she’s sorry. And she tells Jack that she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she made it up because Jack is still in high school. She’s 20 and Jack argues that’s not too much older. Except according to the law. But they decide to be a couple anyway. Jack says he did something stupid. Telling Grace that Ricky was cheating on her wasn’t stupid, Jack. Oh, hey, the Blabbermouth Duo come back complaining about how clingy Ben was. Even Jack agrees before rushing off. They continue talking before Jason and Madison start bickering in the hallway. Lauren encourages her friend to make up with her boyfriend though she made it clear Madison will be dumped soon.

Jack apologizes to Grace who needs a recap. Alice comes up and Jack says they are just friends. She hisses before walking away.  Grace says Jack was right before an awkward moment between Jack, Grace, Ricky and Adrian. Henry comes up to Alice and tells her the news about Amy and Ben. She’s surprised and they try the “trash talk the ex” cheering up route. It doesn’t work. Ben tries to get consolation from Mr. Molina but he awesomely puts his foot down and tells Ben it is just now academic. Jack comes in to talk about the mentoring program but gets the boot when he starts talking about Shauna. Two seconds later, Adrian announces: “I’m thinking about having sex with my brother.” Mr. Molina leaves, finally giving up on the insanity. You go, Mr. Molina.

Sad looks and the Chords of Meaningfulness’ brother, the Chords of Melancholy, strike up as Amy and Ben pass each other in the hall.

We come back to Molly placing flowers in a vase. Lovely arrangement, Molly. Amy’s Dad comes in and gets the third degree. He’s sick, too, like Amy and Ben. Molly says she’s meeting a couple Rev. Stone suggested for adoption. Linda and Jim. Amy’s Dad insists on meeting the couple before pushing Donovan and Leon. Molly asks why. He says no reason. And we cut to: Josie Bisset taking a swig. John Schneider comes by for lunch, wondering about the wine. Josie says she was just checking it out while cleaning the refrigerator. John moans about their lack of a love life. Josie says he’s bitter. John says they’ve been living a lie for 17 years. Josie argues that it was one question. She then begs for forgiveness. He gives it and they try to run for the bedroom, but Tom’s upstairs sulking over Tammy.

Molly’s waiting for Linda and Jim, who have been shanghaied by Amy’s Dad. Jim drinks a beer while Linda scolds. Linda says she’s not open to an open adoption, saying Amy and the Jurgens would be out of the baby’s life. Jim seems ready to negotiate on it. The couple leaves as Molly spots them. And it suddenly it turns into a sitcom. Donovan calls to ask to talk to Molly after closing, slightly spilling the beans.

Amy glumly watches couples past her as the Blabbermouth Duo try to tell her she did the right thing. Amy wants to apologize and Lauren says it isn’t Ben’s business. Ricky is the baby’s daddy. Amy tells them about Donovan and Leon. She wants to make up with Ben, giving him the ring Ashley gave her and be with him. Lauren and Madison tell her to wait, see if Ben apologizes. They tell her to start over and live her dreams. And giddy Madison leaves while Amy tells Lauren that Ben was the best thing to happen to her this year. Henry and Alice watch her talk with her friends. They’re worried that Amy’s trying to get Ben back. Alice remarks on Ben’s romantic nature as Ben walks up. He’s worried that Amy’s still in love with Ricky because she’s the type to have feelings with someone. Ben’s just a ball of confusion and asks for a sign.

Adrian and Grace have it out. She wanted to be friends with Adrian because she wasn’t having sex with Ricky. She tells Adrian to stop having sex with her boyfriends. Grace calls her the “b-word.” Just that. Grace refuses to say “Bitch.” They are gathering a crowd. Grace says: “God help Adrian because she’s a bitch.” They then get into a cat fight for twenty seconds. They start laughing and apologize. Grace says that Ricky’s made her an idiot. Okay, not as naïve as we think. Adrian gives her Ricky because she has her brother. Grace gives her a look and then agrees for coffee.

Ricky apologizes for breaking up her and Ben. He then squashes it by calling Ben a wuss. And even though he gave them the okay for the adoption, he’s not. He brings her to tears, giving her a comforting hug. And who should see the hug? Grace, Adrian and Ben.

Adrian and Grace have dinner together. They talk about Amy and Ben being married. I guess no one told Grace and Adrian that it was a not!marriage. Grace says she wants to be married to Ricky one day. Adrian can’t believe it. The two talk about Ricky and sex. They cut to her parents in post-coital. John Schneider tries to sweet-talk her into having more kids. She ix-nays and goes downstairs to see Tom and Tammy in bathrobes. Josie is unnerved until it’s revealed they were in the hot tub. She’s relieved and tells them not to have sex. Way to plant ideas, Josie. Fortunately, Tammy wants a wedding first. These two are kinda sweet.

Duncan and Jack are working on Duncan’s homework though Jack is not really focused. Duncan knows something is up and tells Jack to go with his sister. Jack then leaves as Duncan tells his sister that Jack’s in high school. She races out the door to kiss Jack and makes a plan with him Wednesday nights. Turns out Shauna is a Christian too who attends services on Wednesday. Wow. Duncan warns his sister not to anything stupid enough to get thrown in jail. Thank you, Duncan.

Donovan and Leon address Molly about the adoption. Molly agrees with the idea of the two of them adopting the baby. They said they approached Amy’s Dad first because they figured HE’D have the most difficulty agreeing to it. Amy’s Dad takes offense as Molly likes them more and more. Amy comes down to talk to Leon and Donovan.

Molly and Amy’s Dad share a dessert. Molly finally notes Amy’s Dad’s misgivings about adoption. Sounds like Molly is hesitant, which he notes. He then apologizes for not working harder on the marriage or for the cheating. She forgives him but Ashley doesn’t. She then tosses an egg on the floor and Amy’s Dad wonders if Donovan and Leon will take Ashley. Molly gives her a vote of confidence.

Back in the living room, Donovan and Leon want to make sure Amy’s sure about the adoption. They almost had children but the parents found out they were gay and refused. They also ask to meet Ricky, asking about Ben in the process. She starts crying and they look lost. She says she messed things up with Ben and does love him. Phew, the commercials made it sound like she was still in love with Ricky. Donovan and Leon offer to drive her to Ben’s to talk. They want to see where the Sausage King leaves.

Jack goes to apologize to Ricky, who could care less. He’s trying to do some reading about pregnancies. In the process, Ricky admits he’s in love with Amy. Jack reminds him of the wedding. Did nobody tell these people it was a not!marriage? Jack’s surprised and walks away. Grace calls but Ricky cuts her off, saying he can’t talk to her anymore. She then calls Adrian, who tells her to let it go. Now Adrian calls Ricky to invite him over. He tells Adrian they are finished. Now Adrian’s concerned.

Amy goes to Ben’s house. The Sausage King opens the door but doesn’t invite her in. He tells her that he loves Amy and the baby but also Ben. He’s not sure if Ben wants to still be with her. He asks her to give Ben some time to make the decision. She agrees and turns, heartbroken. The Chords of Meaningfulness strike up as she walks away. Are Donovan and Leon waiting for her? How is she going to get home?

Next week:  Ben or Ricky?

Exchange of the Episode:

“What do you call a girl who is married to one guy and trying to date the father of her baby? They probably don’t have a word for that.”

“I stand by harlot.” Henry and Alice

What do you think of Ricky’s declaration? Do you hope they give Grace and Adrian better love interests? Will we see more of John Schneider and Josie Bisset now that they’ve patched things up? And who will Amy choose? 

Ricky v Amy v Ben v Grace v Adrian v Her Dad v...

Last week on Secret Life of the American Teenager: Ricky’s dad Bryan Callen made everyone uncomfortable. Ricky broke up with Grace to protect her but John Schneider was cool with Ricky’s past. Jack started to mentor Duncan while Amy learned her baby is a boy. And Bryan Callen was sent back to jail.

Grace is doodling in her notebook. She decides to call Adrian, telling her that Ricky broke it off with her. Adrian tells her that Bryan Callen went back to jail, covering the fact that Ricky is in bed with her. Grace is all happy to hear that she can go out with Ricky again but he isn’t. Adrian figures that Ricky thinks love=sex but he squashes that by saying he isn’t in love with Adrian but had sex with her. Grace calls and tries to make a date with Ricky. He shoots her down, saying he has a meeting with Amy about the baby. Adrian finally kicks him out of her bed for good, though Ricky doesn’t believe it. I hope Adrian sticks too it.

CREDITS!

Adrian tries to seduce Jack, but he turns her down. Says he’s hanging out with Duncan. Jack wonders if Amy and Ricky are getting back together, which is worrying Ben. Grace confirms it and walks off as Amy comes up. Ben asks her about the meeting and she says it’s been set for a few days. He storms off as Amy calls out his immaturity. Mr. Molina lets Ben into his office and asks about Amy and Ricky. Mr. Molina reminds Ben that the baby is Ricky and of Ben’s not!marriage to Amy. Ben asks Mr. Molina for an intervention. He turns it down and then starts unloading on Ben. He was a cop but the wife thought it interfered with their relationship.

Mr. Molina eventually agrees and it pisses off Amy. She storms off as Ricky tells Ben there is nothing to talk about it. He invites Ben to come to the meeting that night to be with Amy.

A phone rings and Adrian picks up. Ricky says he plans to be free after ten while Adrian reminds him he’s been kicked out of her bed. Adrian says a guy is coming over and Ricky gets jealous. He asks if it’s Jack but she reminds him of the mentoring. She opens the door to see someone she addresses as Max there. He tells her he’s there about her dad leaving his mom. Ouch. And Adrian will sleep with him, you can tell.

Ricky calls Grace, asking her for prayers. And then if he can come over. She says yes—she’ll make cookies. I feel so bad for her. Meanwhile, Jack is waiting for Duncan with Shauna. He’s late coming back from his job, bagging something. Turns out he has to work late so Jack hangs out with Shauna. He says “Entertain me” and she gets an Adrian-esque look in her eyes.

Ashley comes in as Amy goes through her closet. She wonders if her sister is dressing up for Ricky, but Amy insists she’s just trying to find something comfortable. Ashley warns her not to make the same mistake but Amy insists this is just to get Ricky’s permission to go through the adoption. Ashley tells her sister to stop feeling sorry for herself while Amy continues to say she is trying to be responsible. It gets so bad, Amy attacks her sister. They calm down.

Amy’s Dad asks Molly Ringwald why she’s all dressed up. She says she’s going out while Ricky is with Amy. Amy’s Dad isn’t too thrilled and says he’ll be out too. Molly doesn’t believe it. Amy’s Dad presses for more information and is surprised to hear Molly is meeting Rev. Stone. He storms out as Ashley comes down, praying her mother isn’t dressed up for Ricky. Ashley doesn’t support the adoption and Molly tells her to support it. Ben shows up and pleads with Amy to let him stay as Ricky comes. He gets to the point: No adoption. So Amy retorts: “Fine, then it’s yours.”

Atta girl!

Ricky wonders how he could take care of the baby, particularly since he won’t drop out of school. Ben asks Amy if she’s thought it through. Oh, wait, she was serious? She says no it was just an idea but she says it’s good as she and Ben could be normal teenagers. She leaves Ricky and Ben to argue it out. Back at Adrian’s, she talks to Max about her father. She calms his mother’s concerns saying her parents are thinking of getting back together. Adrian tries to come on to him while he continues to remind her that they are step-siblings. But it doesn’t last long as he kisses her. She tells him to work for it. Oh Adrian.

Amy’s Dad goes over a gay couple’s house for dinner. Amy’s Dad loves the food and praises the gays then checks to make sure “Leon” is out. He replies he is and after offering more food and a boxing match, Amy’s Dad wants to move in. Molly talks with Rev. Stone about some prospective parents that are right in his own church. He talks about an older couple who spent their youth traveling and are ready to settle down. The husband has tickets to seats on the third base line! He then talks about the Buckners who are young—27—and married in college. He was a professional wrestler. Molly can tell Rev. Stone isn’t 100% behind them. He confesses his promise to Ashley to counsel her parents. Molly insists she’s getting a divorce and Rev. Stone promises to help her find a couple.

Ricky and Ben argue over the baby. Ricky insists the burden of responsibility for the baby is on Amy as Ben correctly tries to remind him of his legal responsibility to the baby. Ricky asks if Ben will raise the baby but Ben bemoans their not!marriage. Ben argues for Amy because he considers her feelings despite the fact he showed up against her wishes. Ben admits to being jealous of Ricky, who responds he’s jealous of Ben. Ben has no real responsibility to the baby. Ricky then tells Ben that Amy invited him over to talk and out to coffee six months ago at band camp.

Amy comes down to find Ben just sitting there. Ben tells Amy that it’s something she has to decide with Ricky. He talks about Ricky and Amy’s bond through the baby and he has no right to decide anything about the baby. He maturely removes himself from the situation and gives Amy some room. He says he still wants to be with her, but he wants her to be honest with him. Amy is shaken as Ben leaves. Oh, the return of the Chords of Meaningfulness.

Ricky talks with Grace about the baby. She tries to be supportive. He’s excited that it’s a boy but still not excited about adoption. Grace asks if he’s addressing this in therapy. He replies he hasn’t been seeing Lauren’s Dad AKA Ernie Hudson as it is too much work. He says Grace has been helping him though he can’t see them married. Grace says she can and Ricky kisses her goodbye.

Adrian is all cuddled up with Max. Her father walks in, saying he promised to check up on her because her mother couldn’t reach it. Adrian tries to bluff that Ricky is hiding under the covers but Adrian’s Dad is smarter than that. He pulls the covers and is surprised to see his step-son under there. They promise nothing happened and Max was sent over by his mother to scope out the situation. Adrian’s Dad accurately tells her that she has a problem. They argue and he tells her to start respecting him. He storms out.

Duncan interrupts his mentor and his sister. He realizes they weren’t just “talking” and leaves them alone. Shauna tells Jack that Duncan just needs to get out more—he’s already a good kid. Jack says he’s attracted to Shauna and is a monogamous type of guy. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend and was just having “fun” with a high school guy. He leaves.

Molly finds Ashley moping in the kitchen. She tells Molly about the fighting. Everyone is moping around the Jurgens household. Molly calls Ashley out on the wish to get her parents back together. She finally calls out Ashley’s attitude, saying she knows her daughter is in pain. She tells Ashley that the entire family is in pain—Molly and Amy’s Dad are divorcing and Amy is having a baby at 15. Ashley says she is hurting, but not as much as the rest of her family. “The three of you are idiots,” she says. Molly agrees, hugging her youngest.

Amy’s Dad is absolutely happy over his night with Leon and his boyfriend. They talk about their financial security and their desire to be parents. They ask Amy’s Dad if Amy will let them adopt the baby. Amy’s Dad is floored.

Grace receives a phone call…from Jack. He’s at her door. He tells her she is the only nice girl he knows. He tells her to not wear her heart on her sleeve because someone (Ricky) will tear it out and stomp on it. Grace starts to protest but Jack finally tells her that her boyfriend is sleeping with her best friend.

Amy’s Dad comes home and talks to Amy about letting Leon and his partner adopt the baby. Amy’s a little surprised as Amy’s Dad tells her they have to lead Molly to the idea. Meanwhile, Grace busts Adrian and Ricky (oh, Adrian) but the idiot tells Adrian that Ricky will come back to her once he works out his issues by sleeping with her. Amy calls Ricky and tells him to let the baby be adopted. She admitted to inviting him over to see if they could raise the baby together—as friends. But she realized she was wrong and the baby will be better adopted. She’s acting grown up and asks him to agree with her. He does.

And the Chords of Meaningfulness play us out.

And we’re back to the original PSA.

Next week: Grace and Adrian go at it. Ricky admits feelings for Amy, hugging her. And Amy confesses her love for someone. I think it’s bad news for Ben, Adrian and Grace.

Quote of the Episode:  

“Marriage sucks, huh?”—Mr. Molina

Wanted: Members for a Posse. See Amy's Dad

Last week on Secret Life of the American Girl: Ricky’s evil dad Bryan Callen showed up, offering help to the Jurgens. Everyone freaked out. Amy seriously considered adoption but Ricky was completely against it. Also, Jack’s doing community service.

We start with Ricky and Adrian in bed. He tries to leave but he is angry. Adrian is determined to find out why. Ricky is about to cry. Adrian seems a bit more needy than usual. Ricky tells Adrian what his dad did to him. And that he isn’t interested in dear old dad’s offer of selling the baby. Adrian tries to plead with him to stay but Ricky leaves. He’s in a state. Adrian’s Dad is hanging out in the lot and fields a call from his upset daughter. She pleads with him to lock Bryan Callen back up but he says he can’t do much. I like Adrian more and more each week. I think she’s the most fleshed out character.

CREDITS!

Amy’s Dad shaves in the kitchen. Molly Ringwald is slightly disgusted. Ashley comes down and asks if she can go over to a friend’s house after school. Her parents seems a bit surprised. Molly pokes around to find out more about this friend but Ashley is not forthcoming. Amy is surprised to hear Ashley has a friend, leading to her sister having a fit. Amy says she has a doctor’s appointment—she’ll find out the sex today! Boy or Girl? Molly reminds us that Amy is considering adoption.

The Sausage King comes in to move his son along. He seems surprised to hear Ben wants to go along on Amy’s appointment—how will Ben handle seeing Amy’s stomach. Come. On. It’s her stomach. He’s probably seen stomachs before. Ben reminds dad of his not!marriage and says Amy wants him there for this and the birth. The Sausage King laughs. Amy’s Dad goes to visit Ricky’s foster parents and finds out more about Bryan Callen—the money, the drugs, the restraining order. Amy’s Dad is understandably upset while Foster Dad tries to calm him down.

Ricky confides his problems with Josie Bisset and John Schneider. They are understanding. Ricky doesn’t want to see Grace because he feels he is putting her in danger now that Bryan Callen’s out of jail. John tries to explain that Bryan Callen is Bryan Callen, not Ricky. He wishes he could be a Christian but prayer has failed him as a  child. I think it is sweet he went to them.

Adrian and Ricky talk, where he asks that she not pity him. He tells her that he broke up with Grace but Adrian can’t decide if he’s being noble or selfish—the heart wants what the heart can’t have. They set up a booty call as we go back to the Jurgens’ house. Amy’s Dad uses the argument that people pay for babies under the table as ADOPTION IS BAD. Molly tries to calm him down and say that ADOPTION IS GOOD. Amy’s Dad is worried that Ricky will complete the cycle of abuse. Molly tells him that’s unfair.

Amy and Ben try to figure out how awkward the doctor’s visit will be. Once again, Ben will see Amy’s stomach. I get she’s pregnant and the stomach will not be a normal stomach, but what’s so sexual about seeing someone’s stomach? Amy says she doesn’t want Ben at the doctor’s appointment or the birthing classes or the delivery. Ben asks her to reconsider letting him be there when the baby is born. He says he loves her and Amy just walks away. I think I can hear Ben’s heart breaking.

Josie opens the door to find Amy’s Dad standing there. She’s none-too-thrilled to see her ex-husband on her stoop but she invites him in. They argue about Ricky’s dad. He wants to round up a posse and lynch Bryan Callen, she tells him to let the law handle the pervert. He points out that Grace could be Amy’s child’s step-mother. Josie says that her daughter is a long way from marriage. Amy’s Dad leaves frustrated while Molly lets Bryan Callen have it at a gas station. She calls him a coward and tells him to stay away from Ricky and Amy. She orders him out of town. She was very awesome in this scene.

Grace finds Ricky. She tries to convince him that she doesn’t care and that she’s not scared. Grace confesses her love for Ricky. Oh, sweetie, you can do a lot better. Ricky says he can’t say it back. Grace breaks down, repeating the word love several times in hopes he’ll finally say it back. She then tries the “we can be friends” bit. She says she’ll pray for him. Someone get this girl a decent boyfriend. Please.

Molly and Amy talk about Ashley’s new friend while waiting for the doctor. Amy says not to worry about Ashley—she won’t do something stupid after Amy ruined her life. Molly tells her not to think that. Her life is just changing. Amy says she hopes the baby is a girl. Molly says just to hope that the baby will be safe. She says maybe Ricky will break the cycle of abuse. Amy shocks her mom with the request to do the appointment alone. I don’t think that’s legal. They wouldn’t take my blood without my parent present until I was 18 and my pediatrician was a little concerned when I showed up to an appointment at 16 by myself.

Ashley is staring down a painting of Jesus during the Garden of Gethsemane. Jack spots her and they talk, where Ashley reveals she is waiting for his dad. They talk for a bit before Jack has to head off to “gangland” for his community service. She continues to look at the painting when a blonde comes in. She’s looking for Rev. Stone too but doesn’t have time—she’s a waitress at a cocktail bar that’s understaffed, but she also needs Rev. Stone’s help with getting her deadbeat ex to pay child support. Ashley asks about a job and the woman says okay.

Seriously?

Bryan Callen shows up outside the school, spooking Ricky. He asks if the baby is a boy or girl. Because he’s got a couple willing to pay a lot for a white male baby. Bryan Callen barters the baby for leaving Ricky alone. This guy is just skivvy. Even more skivvy than Marie’s Skivvy Fiancé from CSI: NY. Bryan pulls out of the lot. Ricky gets in his car and freaks out.

Adrian calls her dad to rat out Bryan Callen. He says he’ll call her back, pissing her off. Turns out he’s with Amy’s Dad, who still wants to round up that posse and lynch the bastard. Adrian’s Dad gives a lecture about how the jails are failing people. Amy’s Dad tells him to keep the pervert away from Adrian, who is a nice girl. Adrian’s Dad gets back by responding Adrian’s mother is nice as well. Amy’s Dad looks embarrassed.

Jack knocks on a door and is opened by teenage girl. He asks who she is to Duncan. She responds his sister—Shauna. She notes that Jack doesn’t look like the type to get busted for fake IDs but says they noted he most likely didn’t do it. Duncan comes to the door. He’s about Jack’s age. They get in the car, spotting Bryan Callen buying some narcotics. Jack tries to make a call but Duncan gives him some pointers—drive away and then make the call.

The Sausage King comes to check up on his son, who is sulking about not going to the appointment. He points out that Ben and Amy haven’t been intimate. Doesn’t help. Amy’s Dad calls the Sausage King and they make dinner plans. Turns out Dad is in the cocktail bar Ashley is working in. He’s not too happy to see her there.

Amy goes in for her appointment while Molly hangs out in the waiting room.

Ashley and her father talk about her job. She mentions she earned $100 in tips so he makes her give the money to the nice blonde woman. The Sausage King shows up as they wait for Molly. Meanwhile, Ricky goes back to the Bowman household. John Schneider gives him a fatherly lecture. He says that Ricky has sex because of his father’s sins. He tells him to first love himself. Ricky has to take responsibility for himself and to stop the cycle of abuse. Ricky isn’t having it. Turns out John Schneider’s brother was being abused by a neighbor and he killed himself over it. He learned when they read the letter. John Schneider says that he’s glad that Ricky is talking about it and will allow him to date Grace. I love John Schneider.

Amy’s Dad tries to convince the Sausage King to round up that posse and lynch Bryan Callen. The Sausage King tries to calm the man down. Ashley gets a text and soon Amy’s Dad does too. It cuts to Ben filming Amy and Molly making a video for the baby. She let her mother in with her for the sonogram. Looks like Amy’s going to give the baby up for adoption. She reveals the baby is a boy.

Adrian opens the door. She gives him the good news that they got his dad—busted him for possession of drugs. Ricky is ready to cry.

So, do you think Amy will go through with the adoption? Or will we get the “Amy looks into her baby boy’s eyes and realizes she can’t let him go” angle?

Next week: Ricky comes over. And Ben seems to be on the path of heartbreak.

Quote of the episode:

Amy’s Dad: You have a friend?

Molly: George!

Amy’s Dad: What, like you weren’t thinking the same thing?