Farewell, Llanview! (Part Two)

For Part One, go here.

On to the finale of “One Life to Live.” A month later, and I still have trouble believing the show is off the air.

Farewell, Llanview! (Part One)

One Life to Live left the airwaves after 43 years on air. When I was working, I fell behind and had to catch up on about three months worth of episodes online. But I made it in time to watch the finale.

Though it was the penultimate episode that nearly made me cry! Everyone was gathered around their TVs, watching the finale of Llanview’s favorite sudser, Fraternity Row. Before the show aired, the Blanca Morales show hosted a tribute to it. Basically, it was an excuse for Agnes Nixon and Erika Slezak to say good-bye to the fans. Of course they were “Agnes Dixon” and Viki. But I knew it was really them.

But let me back it up. As I said, I had to catch up on a LOT of episodes. So I just kept watching and watching, not so much reacting. If you will allow me, I’d like to react.

Tick Tock Goes the Clock…

So, here’s what you need to know about Doctor Who’s sixth season: An 1104 years old Doctor is shot by an astronaut at Lake Silencio, Utah. Amy, Rory and River witness this and then run into a 906 years old Doctor who takes them to Washington where we meet the Silence. We learn that Amy’s pregnant, but then she’s not. But then Amy really is a ganger and was pregnant. And she gives birth to a daughter named Melody, but who we all know as River Song! River is trained to kill the Doctor and is a Time Lord. However, she gives up her remaining regenerations to save the Doctor. The Doctor learns the date of his death and parts with Amy and Rory. He ages 200 years, has one more adventure with Craig and the Cybermen. And now River is in an astronaut suit at the bottom of the lake.

The Wedding of River Song or “One Heck of a Kiss”

Time has stopped so River doesn’t have to kill the Doctor. So she marries him instead and as a wedding present, the Doctor doesn’t die!

She is the One…Sailor Moon!

And so we come to the end of our comparison. It is hard to declare one superior over the other. The anime is just for fun. It is your average monster of the week, heroic band of friends save the day and maybe learn a lesson along the way. The live action series was more serious and not meant for such light fare. It offered more character development than the series.

If you watched the anime, I advise watching the live action series. There are subtitled episodes up on YouTube.

And thanks for reading!

Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Doppelganger

It’s time for How I Met Your Mother’s season finale!

My how a season sure flies fast!

We start with a recap of the doppelgangers: Lesbian!Robin, Mustached!Marshall, Stripper!Lily, and Mexican!Wrestler!Ted (Future!Ted: Yes, mine is the coolest) We cut to TWO episodes ago when Lily and Marshall agree to have a baby when the universe tells them to—when they find Barney’s doppelganger. We cut to the two standing on the street where Marshall asks about how serious Lily was about their agreement. She says a speech which is summed up as “pretty dang serious”. Marshall turns and there is a Barney clone, with black hair, driving a taxi. However! Our girl is smart. She has stolen Barney’s playbook after all and wonders if it may just be Barney in disguise. Marshall calls Barney while Lily takes a picture. Barney confirms that yes, he is at work, stapling, three hole punching and “filing” the company’s sexual harassment policy. (We once tried to tell employees that the same instrument Barney uses to “file” was our company’s electronic time sheet reader).

Lily and Marshall decide to have a baby.

They go to MacLaren’s, where Marshall is excited to tell their friends they are having unprotected sex. Lily decides they are going to say anything because they are now inviting them into the most intimate moment of their life. We see candles, hear romantic music and then…Barney bursts in with popcorn. He says that it’s a big mistake, but he’s ready to watch. “Uncle Teddy” pops in with balloons and a teddy bear and blathering on about Santa before the TV turns on to reveal Robin reporting on “Baby Watch 2010” complete with the chopper circling overhead. Marshall agrees to keep mum as Ted and Robin come in. Lily shows Barney doppelganger. Lily and Robin agree he’s better as a blonde. Ted goes on about a summer he was lifeguarding, went blond and was popular. Marshall, Lily and Robin have a telepathic conversation (I missed those) in which they agree to get Ted to dye his hair blond. Ted’s out of the loop and goes on about nachos, which he orders. The other three tell him not to go blond. And he announces he was going blond.

Robin and Don meanwhile have such a great partnership, their station has asked them to appear on their other shows. Like Monty and Moo-Moo, where Monty admits to having experimented with drugs. (Future!Ted: Highest rated episode ever!) Don tells Robin that she’s turned his life around.

Meanwhile, Marshall sees Doppelganger!Barney. He starts saying how Doppelganger!Barney has an important role in his life when Doppelganger!Barney says he plays a legendary role. He rips off the wig and reveals he’s really Barney! DUM DUM DUM! But wait, there’s more! Future!Ted reveals this wasn’t the biggest surprise of the day. We hear Robin talking about how it’s a surprise and she can have an answer by the next day. She calls Ted and asks to talk to him. She goes to the salon and reveals that she was offered an anchor position. In Chicago! DUM DUM DUM!

Marshall is being driven around by Barney and seriously, when did Barney get his driver’s license? Really, show! He can’t believe the doppelganger is really Barney. Turns out Barney has a special message recorded so people can think he’s really working. Marshall learns that not only is Barney the doppelganger, his nickname at work isn’t special. At the salon, Robin says that Career and Romance have been battling in her life forever. Ted tells her that Career has been trouncing Romance for years. He tells her to talk to Don but she doesn’t want to involve him yet. Ted tells her he can’t be objective because he doesn’t want her to move away. Robin understands then asks if Ted got a manicure. He says he didn’t but Flo busts him.

In the cab, Barney reveals his quest to have sex with a woman from every country. He even has a map. My friend Russ knows why this seems very familiar to me. He figures the best way to do that is to rent a cab and wait outside the UN for hot foreign chicks. He just forgot one small detail: Chicks don’t want to bang cab drivers. Marshall now needs to tell Lily they haven’t found the fifth doppelganger. He was looking forward to being a dad. Barney tells him no children before 35…Doesn’t anyone read his blog? “It’s gotten a lot better.” Marshall says he was looking forward to being a father. Barney does feel bad for Marshall…then asks for the fare.

At the apartment, Marshall loses his resolve to tell Lily. At MacLaren’s, Barney goes through jokes about Ted’s hair. He says he’s been getting tons of compliments. Robin reveals this isn’t true. Ted says that Robin’s moving to Chicago. At the apartment, Marshall calls a time out. He can’t do this. At MacLaren’s, Barney says Robin moving is a group decision. At the apartment, Lily tries to talk about how the doppelganger was different from Barney but Marshall knows otherwise. As Marshall asks if Lily forgot what Barney looks like. And in case she did, Barney pops in. Marshall and Lily freak out as Robin enters and Ted next. “What is Elle Degeneres doing in our bedroom?” Marshall asks. Ted argues he’s pulling it off. Barney reveals he was the doppelganger, Lily and Marshall argue but Barney reminds them what is really important: Ted is blond. And Robin is leaving. They have to talk her out of it…except she’s already decided to accept. DUN DUN DUN!

Come on, show, you can’t have brought Robin back for just to send her away again!

At MacLaren’s, the gang wonders if they are really losing Robin. Lily telepathically wonders if it’s the depression or if Ted’s hair really is starting to look good. Marshall and Barney agree until Ted realizes he’s made a mistake. Robin comes down. She reveals she spoke to Chicago and, staring at a picture of her and Don, turned it down. They are happy to keep her.

At Don’s, he reveals that he got offered the anchor position in Chicago. And he took it. She tries to leave and he asks if she ever had her dream on the other end of the phone. She says “yes” and leaves.

During this interlude, Marshall and Lily see another Barney doppelganger as a red-haired, Estonian street performer. But it’s quickly determined to be Barney in disguise. Lily realizes that Barney really wants them to have a baby and will make a great Uncle one day. As they leave, a woman walks up to reveal she is Estonian and a street performer as well. As she swallows a sword, Barney passes out.

A teary Robin knocks on Ted’s door and asks to move back in. He agrees and comforts her on the couch. He says a lot’s changed in the five years since the show started…I mean, Robin joined the group. Then: Marshall and Lily were just dating. Now: They are married and considering kids. Then: Barney and Commitment were never a possibly combination. Now: He committed to Robin last year. Then: Ted was chasing after this girl he thought was the one. Now: Ted is going through a bunch of forgettable girlfriends who never last more than one episode. I mean, that girl is now his dearest friend. Then: Robin would never choose career over love. Now: She did! Robin thinks she’s getting dumber and Ted says it’s courageous. Ted uses the hunt for the doppelganger as a metaphor—they all get older and more mature, becoming their own doppelgangers. Ted and Robin nearly share a kiss but as his hat gets knocked off, they laugh over how he became blond. Future!Ted says that stopped them from doing something they’d regret that night.

Four months later…

Lily goes to meet the gang at MacLaren’s when she sees Barney’s doppelganger working a hot dog stand. She runs inside, happy to see Barney is in there. She brings everyone outside and we see the guy looks nothing like Barney, but to Lily it does. Marshall realizes why and telepathically tells the gang to go with it. They do and the Eriksens agree to have a baby. The camera zooms out and is it just me or do Robin and Ted look pretty cuddly there?

So…instead of reviewing the episode, it’s time to review the season! Not a stellar season, it had it’s episodes and it had some clunkers. The Barney-Robin romance was great while it lasted but Robin and Don were pretty adorable too. I thought we’d see more of Professor!Ted and some college classroom shenanigans. But I am looking forward to pregnant!Lily and nervous!dad!Marshall. And whatever Barney does next year.

Till then, there’s always speculation!

Quote of the Episode:

“Hey, I’m planning a white wedding. Tell me, Billy Idol, is it a nice day for that?”—Barney about Ted’s hair.

Rock and Roll Circuses and America’s Next Top Model!

A side note to Entertainment Weekly: I love your magazine. Really, I do. I grab it out of the mail pile every Friday and read it cover to cover. And usually you guys are great about summarizing TV shows without giving much away. But did you realize that there was a two-hour finale? Because you revealed the final two when there were still four contenders in play! Tsk, tsk.

This past cycle: Thirteen girls braved Perez Hilton, runways of swinging pendulums, New York City, the chance of walking the plank, and earning the phrase “dreckitude” from new judge Andre Leon Talley. The final six flew to Auckland, New Zealand and then had to survive the possibility of being sacrificed to the volcano, sheep, Jessica’s attempts at cooking, crouching into Hobbit holes and Tyra herself. Angelea and Alexandra were JUST eliminated and now Raina and Krista will cute their way down an Anna Sui fashion show to be crowned America’s Next Top Model. Who will win? Find out now! But only if you’ve read the post directly below this first!

Wanna be on top?

Raina and Krista celebrate being the Top Two. Krista says she’s focused and she needs to beat Raina. Raina wonders about their Cover Girl commercial. She wanted to do it. She says she wants to win and her competitive spirit comes from playing volleyball which she put aside for modeling, her true passion. Krista mentions she’s tried out

TYRA MAIL! “One of you will rise aove the other to claim the title of America’s Next Top Model but right now you are flying on the same level. So pack an overnight bag.” Raina celebrates which Krista dubs as fake.

The girls go to catch a helicopter. They go to Hurakia Lodge for some pampering. They are greeted with champagne as Ms. J sashays in. Krista says she just wants to celebrate but the work starts right away. Ms. J says they are getting pampered so they are young and fresh for tomorrow’s Cover Girl commercial. He gives them their scripts and Raina is overjoyed. They study. Krista doesn’t want cue cards. Mr. Jay comes up making fun of Krista when she got her photo. He tells them they are filming their commercial and shooting a picture which will be used nationwide. Nicole from the last cycle comes back to give them some advice. The concept: the girls are getting ready for a night out on the town. They hit the make up booth and the poor stylists have to shill for it.

Raina goes to take her still photograph. Tony, the photographer, loved how Raina worked her eyes. Nicole goes to give Krista a pep talk. She then goes to film her commercial. She messes up a line and we see up to take 7. Mr. Jay threatens to use the cue cards.

Top Model Lounge! Bianca calls the cue cards the “kiss of death.” Laura says Krista’s psyching herself out.

We come back to Krista still blanking out and finally asking for the cue cards. Mr. Jay likes that Krista is laughing it off as most girls would crumble. Mr. Jay and Jonathan like her sway. She goes to take her still print. Tony loves her smile. Which saves her from looking cold. Raina is now up to shoot her commercial. Mr. Jay tells her not to choreograph herself as she keeps screwing up. Jonathan tells her she has the lines and it’s time to model.

Raina and Krista go back to Auckland and receive Tyra Mail saying they will be doing their Seventeen Magazine shoots. Oh, Ann Shoket should be showing up then. Raina figures she has the upper hand on that shoot. They go to meet Nigel who sends them to hair and make up. I loved Raina’s little peace sign. Krista says she wants to see a “chocolate black girl” on the cover of something.

The girls go back to their house to find Tyra setting up cameras. She says she wants to do a family portrait but something is missing. Are they bringing back the eliminated girls? The girls’ families?

They brought in the girls’ families! Krista goes to hug her mom and stepdad. Next comes out Raina’s dad. Tyra does Krista’s family first. Her mother says she’s proud of her and starts to cry. Tyra tells Raina’s dad to relax and he is proud of Raina’s passion. The pictures will be on Tyra.com. Time for the family reunion to end. The girls say their good-byes.

And then head for their runway show. They are in the Auckland Museum. It is themed of “Rock and Roll Circus.” So besides Nicole and professional models, the girls will be walking with Alasia, Jessica, Alexandra and Angelea. Angelea supports Team Krista. Jessica is on Team Raina. The crowd enters and then the judges plus Ms. J. Mr. Jay directs the show. He cues the circus performers. Nicole then opens the show. Angelea is next before Krista takes her first walk. We see Jessica before Raina takes her first walk. Alasia and Alexandra strut down the catwalk while Krista and Raina change. The next turn is tandem walking. Alexandra and Alasia are paired as are Angelea and Jessica. Raina and Krista walk down together. Raina blows a kiss before leaving. Then comes the finale, everyone walks out clapping.

Tyra goes to talk to Krista. She says she brought her personality in the walk and to be Krista. She says she didn’t always pretty. She wants to show dark-skinned girls they are pretty. Tyra hugs her. She then goes to visit Raina. Raina says it was one of the first times she let loose and had fun. She says she wouldn’t have been able to do this two years ago. Raina recalls being picked on for being tall, gangly, odd eyebrows and big lips. Tyra says she loves the differences. Tyra hugs her.

Final judging…What is up with Tyra’s top? I love their outfits. For the last time this cycle the prizes are: a contract with Wilhelmina Models, a six page spread and cover of Seventeen Magazine and a contract with Cover Girl. There are the judges Nigel Barker and Andre Leon Talley. And the guest judge is Ms. J, back on the panel. The girls are called forward. Ms. J says Krista went back to safety steps but Andre says it was like she was walking on air. Ms. J says she was heavy footed but she was cute. Andre loved her smile and Tyra just loved her walk. Nigel calls Raina’s picture gentle while Andre calls her fresh. Ms. J calls Krista “in your face” beauty. Tyra calls her stunning but she is not smiling with her eyes. Commercial time. Nigel likes Raina’s timber and enunciation. He tells her not to forget her eyes. Andre didn’t read her personality. Tyra tells her to be the girl she is when she is just chilling. And Tyra mentions that Mr. Jay said Krista forgot her lines. Tyra tells her to remain in the commercial. Nigel says the light loves her.

Time for the final deliberation. Andre says both were strong in the competition and both used it as a learning experience. Nigel says they are charming in their own ways. Krista is better body wise while Raina has it made in the face. Andre thinks Raina would be better in the European market while Krista could do the international market. Krista is great for shows while Raina is great for pictures. Nigel thinks Raina will be successful at home but Andre argues they should look for someone with international appeal. Nigel says Krista shows heart but they both have drama.

America’s Next Top Model is…Krista! She starts to cry and apologizes to Raina but she tells Krista it’s okay. Tyra hugs Raina and says she is proud of her. Raina says she knows she should be sad but she’s not. She’s learned so much and has accomplished so much. Raina thanks the panel and wishes Krista luck. Tyra tells Krista she is the embodiment of America’s Next Top Model. All her attempts to get on the show have finally paid off. Even Andre is crying.

America’s Next Top Model: Krista

Alasia

Alexandra

Angelea

Anslee

Brenda

Gabrielle

Jessica

Naduah

Raina

Ren

Simone

Tatianna

Did I want Raina to win? Hell yes. Am I surprised Krista won? Hell no. I got the feeling she would win sometime around New Zealand. She was rising so fast and doing so well that it was the only logical conclusion. However, she is talented and a model through and through. The sad thing is this show will probably hamper her career a bit. But I predict Raina and Angelea will be mentioned in a few cycles as runners up who made it big. And I wish they would bring either Jessica or Angelea back for Top Model Lounge. Angelea especially would provide good commentary.

So, I shall see you all next September for Cycle 15! Time for a whole new set of model wannabes, new runways, more antics from the Jays and perhaps the girls modeling scenes from Tyra’s new fantasy series?

Have a fantastic summer!

Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to write about this summer!

PS: Just one request, new model wannabes—work on the sound bites. I love my quote of the episode bits but I need quotes for it to work!

Hello, Little John

Last time on Secret Life: Amy goes into labor and is quite irritable. She demands Dairy Shack burgers as all the regulars gravitate toward the hospital. Everybody flashes back to eight months and two weeks prior when Ricky entered Amy’s life.

The family watches Amy sleep. They start to bicker but Molly is called out when her phone vibrates. Amy’s Dad and Ashley talk about what would’ve happened 50 years ago as Ben comes in to talk to Amy. She’s not coherent and Ben says he obviously can’t be in the room for the birth (see: Him fainting during a contraction last week). Ben offers the camera to a family member and Amy asks Ashley to take it. She refuses, saying no one wants to see the birth. The doctor comes in as Amy is much calmer this time around, after the epidural. She says it’ll be soon and Amy worries about the pain. Molly tells her to focus on the baby.

Hospital! The Blabbermouth Duo sit in the waiting room, with Madison asking for coffee. Lauren tells her to run on adrenaline like the night they found out Amy was pregnant. But Madison convinces her to go for a coffee run. They end up getting a small group while Tammy and Tom consider getting a hotel room. Grace ix-nays the idea as she, Jack and Adrian join Alice and Henry in joining the Blabbermouth Duo on a coffee run. Alice admits to Lauren she is getting Henry back. I don’t know, he’s pretty smitten with Ashley.

Ben comes out to meet Ricky, who has no clue what is exactly going on in there. Ben notices he still has the camera and shoves it at Ashley. She refuses but a nurse says Amy wants to see Ashley—with the camera. Amy’s Dad tries to talk to Ricky, asking him if he wants to call anyone. Ashley comes back out a little woozy, which causes Ben to collapse. Ricky helps him to a seat. Ben admits he can’t hear about Amy in pain while Ricky feels guilty. He looks guilty. Ricky says he should get a vasectomy. Even Ben thinks that’s going a bit too far. Ricky has a great moment as he realizes all that he’s done. But he’s still having doubts about being a father but Ben gives him a pep talk. And he offers to be Ricky’s friend. Ricky resists and wonders about his role in his son’s life. Ben pleads down to a truce. Ricky agrees as we go to commercials. That was a sweet scene.

Hospital! The group returns from their coffee run. Adrian gives Ricky a coffee, saying she has one for Ben and another for Amy’s Dad. She asks how Ricky is doing but he turns it back to her. Adrian admits that she’ll be jealous when she sees Ricky hold the baby, but she does care for him. She tells him she is there for him. And she tells him to be there for his son. He hugs her as Grace comes up to say they will be leaving. It’s getting late. Grace tries to convince Ricky that he’s in love with Adrian and vice versa. She tells him she might be getting back with Jack while Ricky thinks she can do better. I think so as well. I think she and Jack are better as friends.

The Sausage King has arrived! He tells Ben he is proud and Ben admits he’s been irresponsible. That’s why the Sausage King is proud. He also knows that Ben loves Amy, as much as the Sausage King loved the Sausage Queen. Ben encourages his dad to date again but dad is happy as he is. He realizes Ben’s mom was his One and feels Amy is his son’s One.

Henry and Alice got back together? They wonder why sex could be so bad while they enjoy making out. Tom complains about going to the hospital but Grace reminds him that he wanted go. She asks Tom to leave so she can talk to Jack. He tells her that he loves her and she repeats it. They kiss…Where’s John Schneider? His face would probably be priceless. Grace reaffirms that she is still waiting till marriage but not necessarily till after medical school. Well, instead of a John Schneider face, we get Tom singing “My Girl.”

Molly comes out to update Amy’s Dad. She says they are almost there while he wonders if it ever took that long. She says it did as the doctor comes out to say that Amy is ready to push. She says Amy even wants Dad in there. Molly convinces him to go in and calling her “Grandma,” he agrees.

Hospital! Ben and Ricky wait outside as “Stand by Me” plays. Amy’s Dad comes out and motions. Ben signals that Ricky can go inside. Amy’s Dad rejoins Ashley and Molly at Amy’s bedside, where she is holding her baby. Ricky looks ready to cry. He refuses to hold his son though and almost cries again. And that convinces him to hold the boy. Ben and the Sausage King are next. He kisses Amy after a moment seeing Ricky holding the baby. Ben holds the baby, who cries even though he was giggling in Ricky’s arms. Wow, show. The baby stops crying in the Sausage King’s arms, maybe because he’s bouncing the baby. Babies like to be bounced. Ben goes back to cameraman, taping the special moment. We see Amy, baby, Dad, Molly, and Ashley asleep. Grace, Jack, Tom and Tammy show up to see the baby…wow, this is a really long version of “Stand by Me”…and Adrian comes. And now it’s the Blabbermouth Duo, giggling with their best friend. Henry and Alice follow behind with Leon and Donovan…good lord, show, is everybody ever on this show going to be on?

The montage follows with Ricky holding his baby as Amy sleeps and we go to commercials.

Moving van! Molly says they have to get cleaned up and return to the hospital. Amy’s Dad says his stuff and Ashley’s are in the van and they are going to start their new life. They say good-bye and leave. Molly follows them outside, saying she’ll miss her youngest daughter. Ashley tells her mom she loves her. Molly cries as they pull away. Then the van pulls into the house next door. Huh, I was expecting him to have bought the house. Molly is thrilled. Ashley and Amy’s Dad are scared.

Adrian’s Dad comes over for a visit. They talk about Max and Adrian worries that dad’s there to get her back for him. Dad says he’s there to tell her he left his wife because he has an unresolved issue named Adrian. He offers to take her out for some food, trying to be a father. It’s good not to see them fighting.

Amy tries to send Ben home for some rest. Ben offers to do her homework and she says he’s done too much already. She thanks him for being there for her. Ben says good-bye but asks about the baby’s name. Amy doesn’t know. Ashley comes in and hugs Ben before sending him home. Amy lets Ashley name him and says “John.” The girls start singing “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” The parents walk in, worrying about what their daughter and her baby’s name. They are happy to hear it is “John.” Molly says Amy and John are going home tomorrow.

Amy is sleeping standing up as the microwave beeps. Molly tries to help her daughter prepare a bottle as the doctor who will help her breastfed will be by later the day. Amy’s hormonal. Molly offers to make John’s bottle for her daughter. Amy’s Dad is making Ashley go to school but lets her go see John. They see Molly’s new employer come in with a giant teddy bear. Amy’s Dad is jealous and says he wants to get a motorcycle. Ashley asks for a dog. He agrees. Molly’s employer is just there to check on her. Molly admits she would like another child again, with someone who isn’t Amy’s Dad. Apparently, Molly is serious (Molly Ringwald is also pregnant in real life. This is probably the set up).

Amy feeds John and bonds.

We go back to high school as Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” plays. The Blabbermouth Duo high five Alice, Henry and Ben. Grace and Jack walk in hand-in-hand. Alice and Henry kiss. Adrian walks the halls and watches Grace take a pill. She’s really looking for Ricky. Ben updates Mr. Molina about Amy and asks about his wife. Mr. Molina is surprised at how mature Ben is from the wide-eyed boy who entered his office at the beginning of the year.

We get a shot of the sleeping mother and infant. Ricky comes by to visit his son. Aww.

And that’s season one…two…good lord, I hate cable seasons! I’m sticking to Summer Season and Winter Season. Summer 09 season starts in June. What do you think is coming? Molly’s pregnancy? Ashley and Dad waging war against Molly? Grace and Jack round two? Ben v Ricky? More John Schneider?

Quote of the Episode:

Ben: Did you talk to Amy about this stuff?

Ricky: No, why?

Ben: Because I was just trying to cheer you up.

See you in June! Remember, I still recap “America’s Next Top Model,” “CSI: NY” and “Eleventh Hour.”