Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Doppelganger

It’s time for How I Met Your Mother’s season finale!

My how a season sure flies fast!

We start with a recap of the doppelgangers: Lesbian!Robin, Mustached!Marshall, Stripper!Lily, and Mexican!Wrestler!Ted (Future!Ted: Yes, mine is the coolest) We cut to TWO episodes ago when Lily and Marshall agree to have a baby when the universe tells them to—when they find Barney’s doppelganger. We cut to the two standing on the street where Marshall asks about how serious Lily was about their agreement. She says a speech which is summed up as “pretty dang serious”. Marshall turns and there is a Barney clone, with black hair, driving a taxi. However! Our girl is smart. She has stolen Barney’s playbook after all and wonders if it may just be Barney in disguise. Marshall calls Barney while Lily takes a picture. Barney confirms that yes, he is at work, stapling, three hole punching and “filing” the company’s sexual harassment policy. (We once tried to tell employees that the same instrument Barney uses to “file” was our company’s electronic time sheet reader).

Lily and Marshall decide to have a baby.

They go to MacLaren’s, where Marshall is excited to tell their friends they are having unprotected sex. Lily decides they are going to say anything because they are now inviting them into the most intimate moment of their life. We see candles, hear romantic music and then…Barney bursts in with popcorn. He says that it’s a big mistake, but he’s ready to watch. “Uncle Teddy” pops in with balloons and a teddy bear and blathering on about Santa before the TV turns on to reveal Robin reporting on “Baby Watch 2010” complete with the chopper circling overhead. Marshall agrees to keep mum as Ted and Robin come in. Lily shows Barney doppelganger. Lily and Robin agree he’s better as a blonde. Ted goes on about a summer he was lifeguarding, went blond and was popular. Marshall, Lily and Robin have a telepathic conversation (I missed those) in which they agree to get Ted to dye his hair blond. Ted’s out of the loop and goes on about nachos, which he orders. The other three tell him not to go blond. And he announces he was going blond.

Robin and Don meanwhile have such a great partnership, their station has asked them to appear on their other shows. Like Monty and Moo-Moo, where Monty admits to having experimented with drugs. (Future!Ted: Highest rated episode ever!) Don tells Robin that she’s turned his life around.

Meanwhile, Marshall sees Doppelganger!Barney. He starts saying how Doppelganger!Barney has an important role in his life when Doppelganger!Barney says he plays a legendary role. He rips off the wig and reveals he’s really Barney! DUM DUM DUM! But wait, there’s more! Future!Ted reveals this wasn’t the biggest surprise of the day. We hear Robin talking about how it’s a surprise and she can have an answer by the next day. She calls Ted and asks to talk to him. She goes to the salon and reveals that she was offered an anchor position. In Chicago! DUM DUM DUM!

Marshall is being driven around by Barney and seriously, when did Barney get his driver’s license? Really, show! He can’t believe the doppelganger is really Barney. Turns out Barney has a special message recorded so people can think he’s really working. Marshall learns that not only is Barney the doppelganger, his nickname at work isn’t special. At the salon, Robin says that Career and Romance have been battling in her life forever. Ted tells her that Career has been trouncing Romance for years. He tells her to talk to Don but she doesn’t want to involve him yet. Ted tells her he can’t be objective because he doesn’t want her to move away. Robin understands then asks if Ted got a manicure. He says he didn’t but Flo busts him.

In the cab, Barney reveals his quest to have sex with a woman from every country. He even has a map. My friend Russ knows why this seems very familiar to me. He figures the best way to do that is to rent a cab and wait outside the UN for hot foreign chicks. He just forgot one small detail: Chicks don’t want to bang cab drivers. Marshall now needs to tell Lily they haven’t found the fifth doppelganger. He was looking forward to being a dad. Barney tells him no children before 35…Doesn’t anyone read his blog? “It’s gotten a lot better.” Marshall says he was looking forward to being a father. Barney does feel bad for Marshall…then asks for the fare.

At the apartment, Marshall loses his resolve to tell Lily. At MacLaren’s, Barney goes through jokes about Ted’s hair. He says he’s been getting tons of compliments. Robin reveals this isn’t true. Ted says that Robin’s moving to Chicago. At the apartment, Marshall calls a time out. He can’t do this. At MacLaren’s, Barney says Robin moving is a group decision. At the apartment, Lily tries to talk about how the doppelganger was different from Barney but Marshall knows otherwise. As Marshall asks if Lily forgot what Barney looks like. And in case she did, Barney pops in. Marshall and Lily freak out as Robin enters and Ted next. “What is Elle Degeneres doing in our bedroom?” Marshall asks. Ted argues he’s pulling it off. Barney reveals he was the doppelganger, Lily and Marshall argue but Barney reminds them what is really important: Ted is blond. And Robin is leaving. They have to talk her out of it…except she’s already decided to accept. DUN DUN DUN!

Come on, show, you can’t have brought Robin back for just to send her away again!

At MacLaren’s, the gang wonders if they are really losing Robin. Lily telepathically wonders if it’s the depression or if Ted’s hair really is starting to look good. Marshall and Barney agree until Ted realizes he’s made a mistake. Robin comes down. She reveals she spoke to Chicago and, staring at a picture of her and Don, turned it down. They are happy to keep her.

At Don’s, he reveals that he got offered the anchor position in Chicago. And he took it. She tries to leave and he asks if she ever had her dream on the other end of the phone. She says “yes” and leaves.

During this interlude, Marshall and Lily see another Barney doppelganger as a red-haired, Estonian street performer. But it’s quickly determined to be Barney in disguise. Lily realizes that Barney really wants them to have a baby and will make a great Uncle one day. As they leave, a woman walks up to reveal she is Estonian and a street performer as well. As she swallows a sword, Barney passes out.

A teary Robin knocks on Ted’s door and asks to move back in. He agrees and comforts her on the couch. He says a lot’s changed in the five years since the show started…I mean, Robin joined the group. Then: Marshall and Lily were just dating. Now: They are married and considering kids. Then: Barney and Commitment were never a possibly combination. Now: He committed to Robin last year. Then: Ted was chasing after this girl he thought was the one. Now: Ted is going through a bunch of forgettable girlfriends who never last more than one episode. I mean, that girl is now his dearest friend. Then: Robin would never choose career over love. Now: She did! Robin thinks she’s getting dumber and Ted says it’s courageous. Ted uses the hunt for the doppelganger as a metaphor—they all get older and more mature, becoming their own doppelgangers. Ted and Robin nearly share a kiss but as his hat gets knocked off, they laugh over how he became blond. Future!Ted says that stopped them from doing something they’d regret that night.

Four months later…

Lily goes to meet the gang at MacLaren’s when she sees Barney’s doppelganger working a hot dog stand. She runs inside, happy to see Barney is in there. She brings everyone outside and we see the guy looks nothing like Barney, but to Lily it does. Marshall realizes why and telepathically tells the gang to go with it. They do and the Eriksens agree to have a baby. The camera zooms out and is it just me or do Robin and Ted look pretty cuddly there?

So…instead of reviewing the episode, it’s time to review the season! Not a stellar season, it had it’s episodes and it had some clunkers. The Barney-Robin romance was great while it lasted but Robin and Don were pretty adorable too. I thought we’d see more of Professor!Ted and some college classroom shenanigans. But I am looking forward to pregnant!Lily and nervous!dad!Marshall. And whatever Barney does next year.

Till then, there’s always speculation!

Quote of the Episode:

“Hey, I’m planning a white wedding. Tell me, Billy Idol, is it a nice day for that?”—Barney about Ted’s hair.