My Best Friend’s New Relationship

Future!Ted tells us how Don asks Robin to move in with him. She stutters that she needs to think about when Don clarifies he meant to move in on the couch. Robin says she still has to think about it. After a pause, she moves down. He sits down and then asks Robin to move in.

MacLaren’s! The gang tells Robin it might be too soon. Especially Barney. However, Ted is all for Robin moving out because he wants her to be happy. She thinks it’s because of the milk thing. You see, when Robin finishes the milk, she doesn’t throw the carton out. She puts it back in the fridge. So when a half-awake Ted tries to have cereal for breakfast, he gets nada. We see him place the empty carton in Robin’s bed as she proceeds to snuggle with it. Back at the bar, Robin says it’s her system—the empty carton reminds them they need milk. Ted says there’s the other system—a full carton to remind them they don’t. Barney, though, is still focused on Robin and Don and wants to meet Don. He thinks it’s strange he hasn’t yet. Robin sarcastically comments that it’s like someone’s carefully planned for it to be that way. But in the end, she agrees.

We cut to one of Barney’s stories about a Portuguese contortionist. Don likes Barney’s stories but feels bad for the woman who would actually date Barney. We freeze as Future!Ted says that was when he realized Robin never told Don about her relationship with Robin. The scene unfreezes as Barney comes over to extol everything he and Don have in common: a love of Scotch, the love of Barney’s stories and they loved Robin. The scene freezes as Future!Ted says that now, Don knew.

CREDITS!

We come back as Don tells Robin he’s uncomfortable with Robin being friends with Barney as her ex. She says it’s not weird and that’s like they never dated. They come back to the table as Barney finishes a story about a failed position. He says the last person to do that was Robin. She is very glad, then, to see Lily and Marshall and asks them about their weekend away—“or any other topic.” The two respond it was terrible. We cut to their rustic room, complete with twin beds. They are mad that they have to sleep in two separate beds. They climb in though, fall asleep and sleep for 18 hours. They missed their meals and Marshall lost 11 pounds.

Meanwhile, Don asks Ted if he thinks it’s weird that Robin is still friends with Barney. “I think it’s weird we’re all still friends with Barney,” Ted replies. Don says he doesn’t feel comfortable about Robin spending so much time with her ex. And the scene freezes as Future!Ted tells the bored children that that was when he realized Robin also never told Don about another one of her exes—Ted. Ted tries to play it that it’s not weird. Don asks if Ted would feel weird if one of his exes hung out with another guy. Ted focuses on Don’s use of the word “he” and he realizes Don thinks he’s gay. He wonders why. We side whoosh to: Ted being excited about calligraphy, Ted trying to tape Project Runway, and Ted’s culinary skills. Ted argues that he’s not gay but it’s only when Lily spills the beans that Ted is one of Robin’s exes does Don get it. But he’s also now uncomfortable with Robin being chummy with her exes, even so much as being roommates with one!

At the Casa Erikson, Marshall and Lily curl up for a good night’s sleep. Marshall notes how hot Lily is—and we’re talking actually body temperature, not sexual attractiveness here—while Lily notes how sharp Marshall’s toenails are. I sleep in my socks. No bare feet for me. Marshall really wants a sandwich but he can’t because after they got ants, no more eating in the bed. Lily worries about his drool before he starts scratching. Lily sits up and says they need twin beds. Marshall adds a mini-fridge and they have a deal.

The next day, Don comes to apologize to Ted and Barney. He says he was judgmental—“Still not gay”—and then invites the two over for dinner. They agree and Robin kisses him good-bye. After they leave, Barney tells Ted he must have Robin back. Dun dun dun!

Ted thinks Barney is kidding. But Barney wants Robin back. Ted compares Barney to a little kid who gives up a toy but wants it back the minute someone else starts playing with it. Barney argues that he just put it down for a second. Ted tells Barney he’s ready to read “The Letter.” Future!Ted tells us that “The Letter” is a device he used to remind himself why he broken up with somebody. We see him in college writing to Ted about Karen—look how well that worked out. We see him writing about some girl named Natalie and Stella. We see Ted and Barney after the break-up writing a letter to remind himself about why they broke up. We cut to him reading it. Mostly focused on “boobs.” It doesn’t work. Barney still wants Robin back.

Lily and Marshall enjoy their new twin beds and think they should just get a “sex bed.” Each bed would have a specific purpose. They try to high-five but are a little too far apart.

At Don’s, everyone gets ready for sushi. Barney still wants Robin back and Ted is still trying to tell him he doesn’t. Marshall notes that Don has twin beds. He doesn’t seem so thrilled saying that they led to his wife and he drifting apart. They ask him about a “sex bed.” He replies that yes, his wife had one—at her personal trainer’s house. Meanwhile, Barney has had some spicy sushi and can’t stand the spicy. They try to help him cool down but Don’s out of milk. He thanks Robin for the reminder.

Back at Ted’s, he and Barney go over how much of a disaster that was. Well, more like Ted does. Barney thinks it went well. Ted says that Barney doesn’t really want Robin back while Barney argues that Ted wants her back too. Ted goes to get a box labeled “For My Biographer,” which makes Barney laugh. He reads “The Letter.” His letter reveals that he does want Robin. Barney shares his booze.

Future!Ted says that he and Barney had a conversation about who wanted Robin more. Of course, this means it was a drunken argument where they realize she’s Don’s. They agree to get rid of him. Barney starts to panic as Ted comforts him. Meanwhile, Lily is worried Don’s fate will be hers and Marshall’s. Lily tries to get closer but Marshall tries to push her away. Even though Marshall lists off a bunch of Lily’s faults, they still get randy.

“Robin Stinson”

“Robin Mosby”

“Robin Stinson”

“Ted Scherbatsky.” That’s right, Ted would take her last name! And yes, they are still drunkenly arguing about this. Barney says they can share her—Barney gets her till she’s 40 and then Ted can have her. But they remember Don has her. Barney says he has to go to the bathroom. He calls Robin and uses a bad pick up line. Ted does the same thing. Robin tells Barney Ted is on the other line and Barney proceeds to fight. They sit on the couch with ice packs before running to get Robin back, including the Blue French Horn. Don invites them up, puts them on the couch because he and Robin need to work. Don turns on the TV, covers them and lets them go to sleep.

Lily and Marshall cuddle before he kicks her out of his bed. Lily dejectedly goes back to her bed.

“Rise and shine, jackasses!” Ted and Barney have the hangover from hell. They agree to let Don be apart of the group. Robin says he won’t be and neither will she. She needs to make it work with Don and can’t do that by hanging out with her ex-boyfriends. She’s moving in with Don. Meanwhile, Lily wakes up to find Marshall in her bed. At MacLaren’s, Ted says Robin hasn’t moved out yet. He and Barney agree to not do something like that again. Barney even wrote himself a letter. But Ted knows Barney and sees that Barney even wrote how it was a plan to throw off Ted.

At the apartment, Ted goes to yell at Robin about the milk—again—but her room is empty. There’s only the Blue French Horn.

*Tear*

NO! NOT ROBIN! I love Robin. She needs to be on the show as an anchor for Ted and Barney. What about her friendship with Lily? Otherwise, Drunk!Barney and Drunk!Ted’s fight was great.

Quote of the Episode:

“Ted’s not going to be around a lot. He’s following Cher around on tour.”