Prince Charming: A Campy Fun Fairy Tale

So, I was considering doing this for a Nostalgia Nook as it came out in 2001. But I only watched it recently and wanted to save my Nostalgia Nooks for things that actually make me nostalgic. Since I post my Once Upon a Time recaps here and this does feature a cast member, I suppose this counts.

(I apologize for the quality of the screen caps. They're taken from YouTube.)

(I love the fact that this movie says "Introducing Sean Maguire" even though I find several credits for him that predate this movie).

(Then again, I do believe this may have been his first American credit).

We open in the made-up kingdom of Anwyn in what looks like the high Middle Ages. You know, something fairy-tale appropriate. At a pub, Prince John (Sean Maguire) goes through a fake wedding ceremony with a pig as his friends laugh and drink around him. A young woman tempts him and his squire Rodney (Martin Short) pleads with him not to sleep with another woman the night before his wedding. But John doesn't listen. He beds the woman and the next morning, Rodney has to get rid of her before the king comes in. He tries to use his magic, but Rodney's not the greatest wizard ever.

(Look at Young!Sean)

So the king finds the woman in John's room and gives his son a lecture. John's marriage will end years of strife between Anwyn and neighboring Lothian. They had been at war over something to do with tulips and John's womanizing ways could escalate things more if the Lothians discovered them.

The party from Anwyn arrives in Lothian and are greeted by the crowds. Up in the castle, the queen pleads with her daughter to not go through with the marriage. She doesn't trust the prince nor does she feel he is the right match for her daughter. Princess Gwendolyn though is convinced that marrying John is the right thing to do for both their countries. And she's certain he's her true love. How? I don't know. Laws of fairy tales, I guess? While it's not credited, I noticed Princess Gwendolyn is played by Christina Applegate in a red wig.

(Seriously, that's just Christina Applegate in a wig, amirite?)

Is this important? Not really. But we'll get to that. Let's go back to John and Rodney. Both spot women in the crowds who catch their eyes. Rodney's is played by Andrea Martin. That is important.

(Hi, Andrea Martin!)

John's, meanwhile, is kidnapped by some men after giving John a flower. Why she is stolen in the middle of a royal procession in full view of the royals is never addressed. Either they are the stupidest kidnappers ever or the Queen has heard of John's exploits so she's set this up to show Gwendolyn his true colors. The latter is my personal head canon. Because John can't resist rescuing the damsel in distress, he follows. The king sends Rodney after John, but it's too late. He's rescued the maiden, who shows her appreciation right there in the belltower. The bell begins to ring as Rodney begs his master to open the door. The ringing bells draw the attention of the Lothian monarchs, who send guards to investigate. Rodney tries to fend them off but they discover the prince.

(He folds easily)

John is thrown down before his father as well as the Lothian royal family, his indiscretion made public. The queen feels justified in hating the prince, especially with how heartbroken the princess is. John tries to apologize but the Queen will not be appeased. She wants John punished and his father turns him over for judgment. Rodney is included in this because he couldn't stop his master's libido. When they are initially sentenced to death, the king pleads for some mercy. The Queen decides they will be frogged instead. Rodney assures John that such a thing doesn't exist...until he sees the royal wizard.

(Professor Snape?)

The man is well known and Rodney realizes a frogging could be possible. The Queen says that John will remain a frog until someone kisses him. He then has to marry that person within five days or he'll be a frog forever. He'll also be spared if he can find true love. And like that, John and Rodney are turned into frogs and dumped in a marsh. John tries to break the curse and is unsuccessful...for 500 years.

(Ribbit, ribbit)

Things start looking up for the two frogs when they are smuggled to New York City by a young boy. Breaking free, the two face the peril that is Manhattan traffic. Rodney manages to find shelter in a storm drain but John is caught by gum.

(Oh no!)

He is saved from being roadkill by Kate (Christina Applegate), who drives a hansom carriage. An irate motorist calls her "princess" and John believes she is really one. He tries to get her to kiss him, but she just takes his picture instead.

(She's the mastermind behind "Frogs of NY")

John and Rodney adjust to their new home that night as a limo pulls up. Two arguing people get out of it, drawing John's and Rodney's attention. It is Margo (Bernadette Peters) and her boyfriend Hamish (Billy Connolly). They are arguing because Margo believes Hamish is cheating on her with a younger actress in their company. He denies it but Margot is having none of it. In the course of their argument, John believes she is a queen. Rodney encourages him to go over and try to get Margo to kiss him. John hops over and Margo does kiss him--as a joke, of course. She and Hamish leave as John and Rodney transform back into humans. They celebrate before realizing they have to find Margo and convice her to marry John in five days' time. They spend the night in an alley, deciding it was best to find "Princess Kate" in the morning.

(I think I just have this one so we can look at Maguire's hair for this. Still better than whatever they put on Josh Dallas' head)

(Amirite?)

They do and hire her to take them around the park to try and find Margo. She agrees, though she thinks they are strange. As they go along, she can't help but like them. They don't find Margo but John ends up foiling a bike thief. Kate is impressed. But the best part of the scene is when the cop asks if John is Robin Hood. Then it was funny in a "he's wearing tights and is British" sort of way. Now it's funny in a "You have no idea" kind of way.

(Thirteen years later...)

Failing to find Margo, John and Rodney request to be taken to the nearest castle. Kate drops them off at Belvedere Castle in Central Park and demands payment. Rodney gives her a gold coin as payment. Kate...is not pleased. She wants actual money. Rodney and John are confused and assure her it is real gold. She vows to have appraised and there will be hell to pay if it turns out to be fake. John and Rodney spend the night in the castle, wondering how they are going to find Margo.

The next morning, Kate goes to a friend of hers at a bank. She has never seen a coin like it before but does think it's real gold. She advises Kate to get it appraised by an antiques person. Kate returns to Belvedere Castle and tells the two they are coming with her. But before they can leave, John hears someone calling for help. He rushes out and discovers Margo seemingly in danger. Kate realizes she's an actress and believes Rodney and John are actors too.

John ends up interrupting a rehearsal for Shakespeare in the park, unaware that Margo is not in any real danger. He manages to impress everyone, including Margot but excluding Hamish, and gets to be an understudy in the play. There, Rodney meets Margo's assistant Serena, played by Andrea Martin. She and Rodney have a feeling of deja vu. I told you this plot point was important.

Anyway, Kate goes with them to an antiques dealer. John stays outside to learn his lines while Rodney accompanies her inside. The antique dealer tells her that the coin is not only real, it's rare. He explains it was only made for a short period of time and that after the frogging, John's father was killed by the Lothians. Kate figures though he was one of John's ancestors and Rodney asks her not to tell John. She's fine with that, especially after she gets a lot of money for the coin. She tries to give John his change but he insists she keep it. Kate offers to buy them some clothes and food. They take her up on it.

Now, for a shallow moment from me. Here's Sean's bare chest:

Okay, I'm back. Anyway, Rodney goes to enlist Serena's help in getting John into the show that night. She's happy to help because 1. She hates Hamish, 2. She wants Margo to be happy and 3. She feels a connection with Rodney. Together, they decide to take out the actor playing Puck. Which is a smart decision as Margo is playing Titania. So John and Margo will have stage time together. It's a great plan! Except that John is getting closer to Kate back at the diner. She shows him her book of pictures and explains how she doesn't believe true love exists. This distresses John.

(This time, it actually works)

Rodney's magic works for once and the actor playing Puck loses his voice. But the show must go on! John performs as Puck and appears to be a natural. And thankfully, he's in a comedy so any flubs he has is covered by that. The crowd, Kate and Margo are impressed. So much so, John is cast as Mercutio in the next night's production of "Romeo and Juliet." He and Kate go out to celebrate while Rodney and Serena continue to work on Margo.

The next day, John and Rodney practice his scenes. And can I say it's a shame Robin Hood doesn't use a sword on Once Upon a Time? Because Sean certainly has talent with a sword here. Think he can still do that? Anyway, John's not too thrilled to find out that Mercutio dies during the play. He wonders if he can change it but Rodney tells him to perform the play as written. John agrees.

Serena and Rodney visit Margo before the show and tell her that John has dedicated his death scene to her. She's impressed. Especially once John decides to take some...liberties...with Mercutio's death. Namely, he refuses to die and keeps dueling. It was probably the first production of Romeo and Juliet where Romeo helps Tybalt stab Mercutio!

(The only time Romeo and Tybalt work together)

John "dies" and Margo is incredibly impressed. She invites John over for drinks and he accepts. Kate, however, is brokenhearted.

(You were helping him find another woman. You had to expect this)

She leaves and John feels guilty. But he goes to have drinks with Margo. There, he proposes. She doesn't accept, saying she doesn't believe in marriage. She tries to get John into the bedroom, but it doesn't seem to work. He asks her to think about marriage.

(Serena is Pro-Anyone-Who-Isn't-Nigel)

When John returns to Belvedere Castle, Rodney informs him of his father's fate. John is somber and takes responsbility for it. It renews his determination to marry Margo and break the curse. Even if he doesn't seem so thrilled about it.

(Guy talk)

The next day, John spends more time with Kate. He tries to tell her why it's important that he marry Margo. But she's not having it. She tells him that he doesn't know what love is. To John's credit, he agrees. She describes the love she's looking for: When she's old and gray that her husband still thinks she's beautiful and is in love with her. This strikes a chord with John. He then invites her to a museum which features an exhibit on Anwyn, to try and convince her he's telling the truth. The exhibit does do that. But Kate still refuses to listen to any professions of love he tries to make. She leaves him to contemplate his fate.

Meanwhile, Hamish storms over to Margo's penthouse. She hasn't answered any of his phone calls and he's clearly jealous since he knew John was there. Margo reveals he proposed and Hamish gets even greener, storming out. Meanwhile, Serena and Rodney realize that Margo and John are in love with Hamish and Kate, respectively. So they decide to make a love potion.

(Teamwork)

Hamish and Margo listen to Snake from Degrassi tell her about Anwyn and how much the heir--should one be found--could inherit from the British government. Margo rubs it in Hamish's face but Hamish latches on to Spike's comment about the real ring most likely being gone. He tells Margo that John's just a desperate young actor who is clinging to her fame. This doesnt go over well with her. But Hamish soothes her. Until they come across the younger actress who is clearly trying to steal Hamish away from Margo. Margo is then suddenly interested again in what Snake has to say.

That night, John and Margo sit down to dinner. In the kitchen, Serena and Rodney prepare the love potion. And do a little kissing themselves. Serena says she's wanted to do that and Rodney adds "for five hundred years." She agrees, feeling the same way. Yes, it's that plot point popping up again. Anyway, they go to bring the love potion to John and Margo, but the two are gone.

Rodney finds John back at Belvedere Castle. John asks if it wasn't bad being frogs. Rodney replies it was and John agrees. He then asks Rodney how long he's been in his service. Answer: A long time. John releases Rodney from his service, saying the man is now his dearest friend. And he wants his best man to be a free man. Rodney is touched and then realizes what John has said: He and Margo are getting married in a couple days. Hooray?

John and Margot have their wedding in the park. Hamish is there, pouting behind the bride. Kate also shows up. Neither object to the wedding, though. Instead, when Margo says she takes John to be her husband, he says she doesn't. He says they don't love each other and she says in her experience, marriage doesn't need love. But John says she deserves love like the love he feels for Kate. He then approaches Kate, professing his love for her in a very flowery speech that calls back to how she wanted to be loved. Kate's touched.

(Swoon!)

Bells ring and John turns back into a frog. So does Rodney. He rails against the punishment while John accepts it. Margo swoons and Hamish catches her. He tells her he loves her and says they should get married. She agrees.

Kate, meanwhile, apologizes to John for not believing him. He understands. She then kisses him, reversing the spell once again. John and Rodney embrace each other before John thanks Kate for breaking the spell.

(They do say you have to kiss a lot of frogs...)

He tells her her kiss made a man of him. Rodney though says it was their love for each other--true love. All together now:

The movie ends with a mass wedding:

(Everyone gets married!)

Margo and Hamish

Serena and Rodney

Kate and John

As I'm sure you've guessed: 

So, how was it? Campy, but I like campy. It made me cringe in a few places (as a former theater minor, the part where John decides Mercutio isn't going to die at all was a bit difficult to take) but otherwise, I mostly watched it with an amused smile on my face. And I was impressed with the cast: Peters, Martin, Short, Connelly, Applegate. Sean Maguire held his own against these established thespians. He also managed to embue some of his speeches with such an earnestness, it kept them from being trite. 

I do wish they had worked in a musical number somehow. Five of the six main actors can sing (I'm not too sure on Billy Connelly. He might be able to). I mean, come on. They had Bernadette Peters, for goodness' sake!

Oh well. I guess they figured it was campy enough. 

Give it a watch if you can. It's a lot of fun. 

Tonight is the return of Once Upon a Time, so expect my recaps to resume next week! See you then!