Two weeks ago on ANTM: Mr. Jay invited the remaining wannabes up to Canada for Toronto Fashion Week! The girls were sent to book some runways. Eboni and Sophie both booked four shows each while Catherine, Ashley and Seymone booked none. At the fashion show, Kyle and Laura were kicked off their show while Seymone moaned about not getting picked. Mr. Jay gave her a pep talk. The next day, Eboni and Sophie won the challenge and the wannabes had to pose in fake leaves while maple syrup was poured over them. Eboni and AzMarie rose to the top of the Americans while Sophie was the only Brit to place high in call-out. Catherine and Ashley were in the bottom two and my heart was broken when Ashley was sent back to Scotland. Nine girls remain, who will get eliminated tonight? Find out!
Wanna be on top?
LA! The Americans go to get their present. Alisha promises not to speak until she gets picture of the week. Interesting. We cut from that to Laura talking about her friend who died. He gave her a stuff animal which Sophie is about to throw in the pool. Laura tries to get it back and the ear rips off, going in the pool. It looks like Kyle pushed the ear away. Laura flips out as Sophie realizes she must have destroyed something important to her.
Credits!
The house! Laura thinks Kyle pushed the ear away, but it does look like she was trying to fish it out. Laura decides that Kyle is dead to her.
And into this walks Lisa, last cycle’s winner. Oh no, it’s musical videos again. Why, Tyra, why? I’m really, really sorry I didn’t see “Shake Ya Body.” Nadine Coyle from Girls Aloud comes to mentor the Brits and Jessica Sutta from the Pussycat Dolls comes to help the Americans. Lisa gives them their music and the teams go to write their songs. Jessica tells the Americans that they need something special to standout. AzMarie isn’t too thrilled to be in a girl group. Nadine tells the girls not to be scared of the recording studio and the Brits feel so great.
Lisa asks them their group names: Fiercely British and United Sirens of America. Oh wait, they didn’t write their own songs? Oh not that Pot Ledom shit again. These are just raps aren’t they? They ask Sophie to deliver her lines sexier. I saw Sophie’s cycle (same asAshley’s and Annaliese’s) and she can definitely do sexy.
The Americans are next. Seymone hates singing the word “ain’t.” It’d be like if I was force 2 rite in txt spk. Ugh. AzMarie has her cool sunglasses. And her voice goes into “mocking” high tones. Lisa thinks the UK rocked it. But they still have the video shoots. AzMarie thinks it doesn’t matter.
The next day, the girls go to learn choreography. I know Sophie, Catherine, and Annaliese all have done this. Tyra decides to teach them their choreography. Namely, the booty tooch. Tyra gives them a training tooch. AzMarie looks horrible. The Brits love it while AzMarie decides not to wear it. Tyra tells her she can’t do this teach and so she leaves. And here I thought AzMarie knew how to play the game.
COMMERCIALS.
Annaliese can’t believe AzMarie told Tyra “no.” She’s like “don’t take yourself so seriously.” So Tyra continues with the tooch lesson. She says don’t do the hoochie tooch, poochy tooch, and others. The other girls enjoy the lesson though I’m not entirely certain AzMarie was in the wrong to skip it.
At the house, the Americans work on the choreography. AzMarie wants to make up for skipping the teach.
Mr. Jay meets the girls at the Playhouse nightclub, which is their backdrop. Nadine and Jessica are around somewhere. Tony Croll is their director. I recognize his name. The girls are sent to hair and makeup. Jessica comes to talk to the Americans and gives them video tips.
The UK girls are up first. Sophie feels a bit awkward but she had fun. Nadine calls Annaliese a wall of energy. I think she tried to pull an American accent because she went from thick Irish to Western twang. She goes back to the Irish accent when directing the UK girls. Laura realizes the Brits set the bar high.
The Americans have some difficulties. Kyle is told to bring a bigger expression as all the Brits mock her facial expressions. Mr. Jay tells her she needs to be stronger. Mr. Jay thinks she struggled as Kyle steps out for a moment.
COMMERCIALS!
AzMarie goes to comfort Kyle. She’s worried about being elimination and wants to bring it. Jessica replaces Nadine as the girls film their solos. Mr. Jay thinks AzMarie’s ego needs to be checked. Kyle is told to be bigger. Laura thinks Kyle is bringing them down. Mr. Jay thinks Laura steals the attention.
That’s a wrap!
Skull and crossbones. Catherine reads the message. You know what…Can they redo her dye job and give her the color she had in her BNTM cycle? Annaliese is starting to realize that the British aren’t winning and says if it doesn’t change, we’ll see some pissed off English people. Umm, guys, I love you all and am totally rooting for the Brits but…You signed up for a show called America’s Next Top Model. You honestly thought you stood a chance?
Though I do want to see the American wannabes get judged by Huggy Ragnarsson. She was like Janice, only sober.
COMMERCIALS!
Time for judging! There are judges—Nigel and Kelly. Our guest judges are Nadine and Jessica. There are prizes. Time to see the music videos. United Sirens of America are first. At least they stopped “Pot ledom that’s Top Model backwards.” I always thought that was talking down to their listeners. Seymone goes first for single takes. Nigel thinks she owned it and Jessica loves how Seymone works her face. Tyra thought it was like a cartoon. That’s one way to call it. Laura is next. She is called the crazy member. Nigel tells her to return to the pretty. AzMarie follows. Nigel didn’t like the lack of commitment. Kelly didn’t like the vocal. And the booty tooch teach comes up. She doesn’t understand how a booty pad was crossing a line after being covered with maple syrup. Oh god, Tyra just made SENSE!
Next is Ebony. Nigel thinks she overdid it and Tyra says she was smoochie tooching. Jessica though thinks she reminded her of a fellow Pussycat Doll. Kyle is last. Nigel tells her to relax. Jessica and Tyra loved the whip but Nadine noticed a disconnect with the eyes.
The Fiercely British are up next. The judges go insane for the British video. And it was good. Catherine comes up. Kelly thinks Catherine came to life and was sexy. Sophie follows. Nadine calls her the “blonde bombshell.” Kelly loves Sophie’s performance and Tyra notes that Sophie can’t dance but she works it. Alisha follows. She is called professional. Nigel loved how she squinted. Jessica praises her commitment. Annaliese high fives Alisha as she goes before the judges. Jessica calls her “adorable” and says she stood out. Kelly loves her in the video. Tyra tells her that the parents want their kids to look up to her.
COMMERCIALS!
The judges deliberate. They start with Kyle. Nigel says she needed to enjoy it more. Kelly thinks that a pop star isn’t in Kyle’s future. Seymone didn’t move her. Nigel thinks Laura needed to tone it down. Nadine thinks AzMarie has presence while Kelly is over her. Eboni has too much energy. Tyra doesn’t like the face. On to the Brits. Nigel says Catherine has star quality. Kelly thinks Sophie stole the show. Jessica hopes she gets more comfortable with her body. Everyone loved Alisha. Kelly thinks Annaliese is more presenter than model though.
COMMERCIALS!
ELIMINATION! The Brits had the best overall video. First name is Alisha. Guess she can talk again. She is joined by Sophie, Catherine, Annaliese—all Brits are safe—Seymone, Laura, and Eboni. Our bottom two are Kyle and AzMarie. Both have model physicality. AzMarie: Amazing, gorgeous photos. But now is coming across as “too cool for school.” Kyle: Lacks “oomph.” But she gets to stay. She promises to step it up.
Tyra hugs AzMarie and admits she thought AzMarie could win. But she needs to commit and she needs to cooperate. Confidence is good, but can be too much. AzMarie says she is proud of her time at Top Model and is thankful to get a platform.
America’s Next Top Model:
Alisha
Annaliese
Eboni
Laura
Sophie
*Contestant walked away
Well, colored me surprised. I honestly thought AzMarie was going to make it at least overseas if she didn’t take the whole thing. And while I felt embarrassed watching the booty tooch teach (but enjoyed it because it’s been forever since we had a damn teach on this show), I have to agree that wasn’t the time to make a stand. Looking at the “booty pads”—they resembled shorts I’ve seen on track runners. And at this point, this is a case of “You know what you signed up for.” It’s Cycle 18. And AzMarie showed in earlier episodes she knew how to play the game.
Anyway, I’m glad the Brits finally got the recognition they deserve. I feared one of them was going to go home. Yes, they’ve already played the game. But their game was a lot different than ours. YouTube Britain’s Next Top Model.
Next week: Laura vs. Kyle! Food fight?
Quote of the Episode
“I’m a grown ass woman. I don’t have time for this ****” –AzMarie, regarding the teach.
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