I Think I’d Like to Change My Table

Last week on ANTM: The Brits had some fun with Laura’s beloved teddy, not knowing it was a gift from her now dead best friend. When it appeared that Kyle was pushing the ear away in the pool (and it’s a pool, not the freaking ocean, go and fish it out!), Laura flips out and decides that Kyle is dead to her. Lisa shows up to tell the girls they will be making music videos. The Brits got Girls Aloud member Nadine Coyle as a mentor while the Americans got Pussycat Doll Jessica Sutta as theirs. Tyra taught the girls the art of the booty tooch but AzMarie refused to wear her butt pads. She ended up in the bottom two with Kyle who fell flat during the music video. In the end, you do not mess with Tyra and AzMarie was sent home. Who will go home tonight? Find out!


Wanna be on top?


The Brits celebrate their win and watch their music video. Alisha celebrates her first picture as they open their box. And it’s full of UK stuff that tourists usually buy. It’s like giving me an “I love NY” shirt. Anyway, Annaliese notes that they are even while Seymone and Kyle bond over being “picked on.”


By the pool, Laura and the Brits talk about Kyle. Laura is pissed that AzMarie went home. I hate to say it, I think AzMarie would’ve gone home the minute she had to be really feminine. All this reinforces is “We hate Kyle.” Don’t try to fool us show—it’s a Brit’s week to go home.


CREDITS!


TYRA MAIL! “Beauty is in the smize of the beholder.” Sophie thinks it’s an eye makeup shoot. Laura thinks it’s telling people about their inner beauty. Someone’s knows what’s up Tyra’s alley.


Anyway, Nigel meets the girls for their challenge. They have to create a PSA (which the Brits have to figure out means “Public Service Announcement”) for Tyra’s B.I.O campaign. They have to use four girls in their commercial and the winner will have their spot aired on CW and a video message from home. So the girls go to figure out what to talk about. Eboni talks about her childhood—being black and poor. The girls then go and finger paint the backdrop.


Nigel brings in their co-stars. Oh, impressionable children. RUN AWAY! Each girl gets wannabe to talk with. Sophie starts with good questions—“When do we feel beautiful?” and “When do we not feel beautiful?” Sophie understands her struggle and calls her girl so smart. The Americans also bond with the girls. Laura talks about her family and her alcoholic parents. Alisha’s girl says her skin color and hair make her ugly because she doesn’t look like princesses. Alisha starts to cry and insists that’s what makes her beautiful. Aww.


COMMERCIALS. Go get the tissue box and remind yourself this is Tyra trying to be Oprah. All will be well.


The girls practice with the wannabes as they prepare for the PSA. Our pairs are:


Seymone and Zara
Eboni and Natalie
Esthefany and Laura
Alicia and Kyle
Michelle and Catherine
Alisha and Anahi
Annaliese and Chyna
Raquel and Sophie


After, Nigel talks to the girls. He likes that they used simple words but that it lacked friendship. Nigel loved the Brits’ dance moves and the rehearsal. Bit it may have been a bit too rehearsed. The winning team is…the Brits. They celebrate. Alisha felt a bit bad for the Americans for a second.


At home, the Brits watch their videos. Annaliese’s friend sends her a video. Catherine’s parents and dog—oh, Catherine looks just like her mother. Alisha’s family talks to her and she cries. Then there is Sophie’s boyfriend. She mocks his message, talking about the weather. She threatens to kill him. And I’m sure he knows in her cycle the winner got engaged over a video message.


TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow you will be the centerpiece of attention.” The girls think it means statues.
Kyle talks about wanting time away from the girls, a time to decompress. Especially as she wants to get the energy to nail the photoshoot.


The girls go to a Bel Air mansion and wait for Will Smith to bust out. Mr. Jay tells the girls that they are art installations at a dinner party and have practiced their booty tooch. The photographer is Ben Shaul, a British photographer. The Brits are probably like “Someone I can understand!”


Mr. Jay wants to see Alisha’s legs. She wants first photo again. Then Mr. Jay introduces Grammy award winner Estelle, a British singer who has gone American. Sophie loves her. She tells them to give the camera something extra.


Laura goes first and scares Estelle. And then blocks her. The photographer is not too impressed. Catherine is next and is told not to lose her British. Mr. Jay is impressed. Annaliese impresses Estelle. Alisha talks about extreme booty tooching. I can’t believe I just wrote that phrase. Catherine tries to support her. Eboni and Sophie talk about Alisha as Sophie worries about the Brits.


COMMERCIALS!


Sophie is next. Mr. Jay and the photog love her. She gets applause. Eboni follows her and Mr. Jay tells her to amp it up. Ben loves Seymone and then she pies Annaliese’s face. Annaliese thinks that if Seymone gets best picture, she owes her a facial. Kyle has to get a fake booty. Like Jaclyn! Laura can’t believe it and thinks that it’s Kyle’s fault just because she hates Kyle.


That’s a wrap!


Laura thinks the fake ass gave Kyle an advantage. All she had to do was pose. But this isn’t the first time a girl was given a fake ass. Alisha doesn’t want to go home over Kyle. They let Eboni have a lighter? I guess we don’t see the smokers this cycle?


COMMERCIALS!


It’s time for…What is Tyra wearing? There are judges, Nigel and Kelly. Estelle is our guest judge. There are prizes. At least once, I want these read in a British accent. A proper British accent, not Tyra faking one. Catherine is up first. The UK girls get props for winning the challenge. Nigel asks Catherine if it’s a signature tooch. Kelly wanted complete decadence. Tyra loves that she scooped her lower back as Tyra finally admits this is all ridiculous. Nigel agrees. Nigel wanted more from Alisha. So did Estelle. Tyra liked the magic in a moving video, but not in a still shot. Sophie is next. Nigel loves the smize though its not much of a tooch. Kelly calls it Ivana Trump’s divorce party. Nigel calls her shot Annaliese’s best shot. Kelly loves it as well but Tyra doesn’t think it’s high fashion.


The Americans are next with Eboni up first. Nigel thinks her shot would stop readers in a magazine. Tyra calls it amazing. And she still looks young. Kyle is next. She talks about her fake ass. Nigel likes Kyle’s face but it’s the same face. Kelly thinks she’s going downhill and is disappointed. Laura is next. Nigel calls her pose extreme. Tyra likes her angles. Seymone is next. Estelle tells her to watch out for things in front of her—the orange soda. Kelly loves her pose as does Tyra. How come none of the judges have called Laura out on her bandanas?


COMMERCIALS


The judges deliberate. Nigel loved Catherine in the challenge but not in the photograph. Kelly thinks Catherine looks like a model at panel. Tyra calls Alisha a “background smizer.” Kelly thinks they need to work with Alisha. Estelle praises Sophie and her energy. Nigel compares her to Ziggy Stardust (look it up). Nigel thinks Eboni is blossoming and he sees her winner edit starting. I may be putting words in his mouth. Kelly isn’t impressed with Kyle’s shot. Nigel still likes her smize. Nigel and Kelly don’t think Laura’s shot is very fashion and Estelle says she needed to tone it down. Nigel likes that Annaliese is commercial. Estelle liked her. Tyra likes Seymone’s backbend.


COMMERCIALS!


ELIMINATION! The first photo goes to Sophie (yay!). She is joined by Seymone, Eboni, Annaliese, Laura and Catherine. Our bottom two are Kyle and Alisha. Both got equal screen time, so this is tough to call. Kyle: Strong beauty but not great. Same look. Alisha: She’s so amazing and has great legs. But the pictures don’t measure up but goes awesome in music videos. Should she be in commercials? So who stays? Alisha. Tyra tells her that her awesome posing in the background saved her. She needs to do that in the background.


Tyra tells Kyle to practice different faces. She tells Kyle the girl next door can do it because she was the girl next door. Kyle hugs Seymone and the girls. She says she didn’t think it was her time to go but hopes she made Texas proud.


America’s Next Top Model:


Alisha
Annaliese
Ashley
AzMarie
Candace
Catherine
Eboni
Jasmia
Kyle
Laura
Louise
Mariah
Seymone
Sophie


Well, there went the last American I was rooting for. Go, Team UK! I was surprised that we had another American elimination. Tyra’s pattern had been pretty predictable: Brit, American, Brit, American, etc. I thought Kyle was going to coast for a couple more weeks—make it overseas at least. Well, it’s good to see the Brits making a rally. And for Sophie to get the first photo. I love her!


Next time: Go sees. Catherine trips! Hello, Kitty! 


Quote of the Episode


“I think being yourself is the most beautifulest thing in the world.” –Alisha. I’ll forgive the grammar error just because it is true.