Sunday, July 10, 2016

OUAT: Something There...

Last time on Once’s 1st season: In the aftermath of the storm, Henry’s beloved playground was torn down. Suspicious of Regina’s motives, Emma teemed up with Sidney to find dirt on the mayor. They thought they caught her stealing money to build a mansion for herself in the middle of the woods…but Regina revealed it was really to build a new playground to replace the one that was destroyed. Emma looked ridiculous and Regina looked good, just like she wanted when she had Sidney set Emma up.

We learn that in the Enchanted Forest, Sidney was the genie in the lamp. King Leopold found him and brought him back to his palace. There, the Genie fell in love with the queen and saw how lonely she was, how she was often ignored for Snow White. Regina asked him to kill the king for her so they could be together and the Genie did so. She then revealed it was all a trick and when the Genie used the wish Leopold granted him to wish to be with her always, he got trapped in her mirror. So Sidney is both the Genie of the Lamp and the Magic Mirror!

After Emma’s stunt, Regina banned her from seeing Henry. And it was revealed that August stole the storybook, though not why.


We open in a new place in the Enchanted Forest as several people are gathered around a map. Ogres are invading and the situation looks dire for this town. A young brunette in a familiar gold dress hovers, listening as the men wonder if “he” will come as promised. She tries to assure one of the men, her father, as knocking interrupts their meeting.

(Gee, wonder who this is?)
As everyone tenses up, the doors open to one. The Dark One then laughs, sitting in Maurice's seat. He says he’s come to help them as the lord grouses that he’s late. Rumple, though, still offers to give them help. And in return, he wants to keep Lord Maurice’s daughter. I’m sure you can already see where this is going, right?

(The beast?)
His daughter, Belle, steps up and volunteers to go. Lord Maurice and Gaston, her fiancé, are against it. She says this is how she will be able to help their people. Rumple tells her that it will be forever but she still agrees, making a deal with him.

As we all know by now, Rumple is the beast from Beauty and the Beast. Let’s check out the beginnings of Rumbelle, hmm?

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

The Nine Lives of Christmas

It’s that time of the year again! Yep, it’s time for Hallmark to reveal this year’s ornament and so the Hallmark Channel gets to bust out the Christmas movies for a week, even though we’re all floating in the pool right now.

But I’m going to post some things about the Hallmark Christmas movies to contribute to this week. So put on a Santa hat or reindeer antlers, put on some Christmas music and let’s pretend it’s December!

Ho ho ho SPOILERS!

Friday, July 1, 2016

Crown for Christmas: Hallmark’s Obligatory “Princess for Christmas” Movie

Seriously. Are they required to make one of these every Christmas season? They are going to run out of ways to do this plot.

As we enter Hallmark’s annual “Christmas in July” week, let’s take a look at 2015’s offering.

Watch out for SPOILERS!

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Outlander: Dining with the Enemy

Last time on “Outlander:” Jamie found his days jam-packed as he tried to juggle ruining Prince Charles’ cause from the inside and being a prominent Parisian businessman. Claire, though, found herself growing bored of gossiping at Louise’s—even as she discovered that Mary Hawkins was Frank’s ancestor.

However, Claire found a purpose when Master Raymond told her about a hospital in need of help. Murtagh escorted her down there and though Mother Hildegard is a bit suspicious at first, Claire soon won her over. Jamie, though, was less than thrilled about his wife spending all hours at the hospital—especially when he needed her. The meeting between the Minister of Finance and Prince Charles didn’t go as he thought and Jamie learned that Charles had secured a good amount of funding for his cause. He stormed out of the house and went to the brothel.

There, he found a young boy stealing from the patrons. Jamie chased him down and offered him a job. The boy, now named Fergus, agreed and went home with the Frasers. Jamie explained to Claire that Fergus could steal letters from Charles’ supporters so they could learn who the prince’s funders were. She admitted it was a good idea.

One of the letters Fergus took led Jamie to seek the help of Mother Hildegard, a trained musician. He and Claire were then able to discern that the Duke of Sandringham was Prince Charles’ benefactor. And so they plotted to have a dinner, hoping to dissuade the duke and anyone else from supporting the Jacobite cause.

Let’s see how that dinner goes, hmm?

I still really like the credits. Will the French chorus be dropped, though, once they go back to Scotland? Hmm…

We open in Versailles, where Jamie is playing a chess game with Duveney. Claire watches her husband and the Minister asks if they’ve thought of any names. She admits that she was hoping to name the baby after her uncle, Lambert. Jamie shoots it down as too English. He suggests a name that has Claire crinkling her noise in disgust.

(The Frasers...debating baby names)

Sunday, June 12, 2016

OUAT: Lost in the Darkness

Yep, since we now know the new recurring characters for Season 6A are Jekyll and Hyde, I’m going to be using songs from the musical as recap titles. Enjoy!

Last time on “Once:” Robin was still dead and the Merry Men took Roland back to the Enchanted Forest. But Regina was off with Emma chasing down Henry, who is trying to destroy magic, so he said his goodbyes to ZELENA. Because that makes sense.

Anyway, Rumple pursued Henry to New York to get the magic back so he could free Belle from Pandora’s box. Regina had some self-realization going on and the other leads got stuck in a world populated by Jekyll and Hyde.

Now onto part II…

Jekyll comes to in a straightjacket and he’s like “Great.” Hyde also left him a note, gloating about besting him. But Jekyll notices the Orderly asleep and manages to relieve him of his keys. Score 1 for Dr. Jekyll.

He returns to the cage and apologizes that he lost the wand. They aren’t thrilled to hear that. But he does tell them he got the key, so he can let them out. He thinks he knows where the Warden hid the wand so he can take them there. Then they can all go to Storybrooke. They bust out.

Jekyll leads them through a market place filled with an array of people. He explains that this is a land of untold stories, a place where all types of characters congregate. Intriguing.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

OUAT: Going Rogue

Last time on “Once:” They killed Robin. They killed my ship. And Hades. But above all, they killed Robin and let Sean Maguire go. They. Are. Morons.

Oh, Zelena killed Hades and Zeus brought Hook back to life.


Yes, I’m still PISSED! So there may still be rants ahead. You have been warned.

We open at the repast following Robin’s (sob) funeral. There’s a picture of him in his Enchanted Forest gear which…has to be up there with the random Outlaw Queen screencap had in a picture frame back in Season 4A. Little John, Granny and a few Merry Men toast him along with Roland, who has chocolate milk. Regina sits in a booth, looking lost as the the Charmings approach her. Snow tells her she doesn’t have to go through this alone and Zelena pops up to say she’s going to be there for her sister during this time.

Violet is back and she approaches Henry. She tells him that she’s sorry about Robin and then tells him she was worried while he was in the Underworld. He says he was worried too and they have a sweet moment.

I’d appreciate it more if it wasn’t at Robin’s funeral.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

OUAT: There is Suffering Too Terrible to Name

That’s right. I’m using Hamilton lyrics. And if you know Hamilton, you know those lyrics are from one of the most heart-breaking songs in the show.

You have been warned.

Last time on “Once:” Hades rescued Zelena from Rumple and Pan and they shared True Love’s Kiss. He took everyone’s names off the tombstones but Hook was still unable to leave the Underworld. Hades told them of a nectar Hook could eat and it would allow him to leave. Emma and Hook headed down to where the tree was while the others waited.

After convincing Robin to let Zelena take his daughter with Hades, he then stood with her and Henry as Henry wrote pages for the denizens of the Underworld. Cruella and the Blind Witch trapped them in the library and the heroes realized Hades was really behind it.

Further down, Emma weighed her heart but it appeared she and Hook did not share True Love. But when each chose the other over saving themselves, a door opened and their love was confirmed to be true. They discovered, though, that the ambrosia tree was cut down and realized Hades did it.

In the past, Emma met a bails bond person named Cleo, who tried to take Emma back to Phoenix. Emma discovered that there might be information about her and her parents so Cleo agreed to take her to the courthouse. Unsatisfied with what she found, Emma broke back in and Cleo had to come after her. They ended up running from the cops and Cleo was fatally wounded in the process. Emma ran off and changed her life, becoming a bails bond person. She also gave some closure to the daughter Cleo gave up for adoption.

As the portal to Storybrooke opened, Emma and Hook came to grips with the fact he could not return home. They had a bittersweet goodbye before Emma returned to help the others bust out of the library. They all made it into the portal as Rumple sent his father to the River o’ Souls, having returned Robin’s heart without Pan knowing.

Brace yourself. This is going to be painful.

And ranty.