Sunday, May 1, 2016

Outlander: A Glitzier Snake Pit

Last time on “Outlander”: Claire found herself in 1948 and she reunited with Frank. She connected better with Mrs. Graham while Frank tried to figure out what happened to his wife. Claire told him everything and he was pretty chill about it…until she revealed she was carrying Jamie’s baby. But after waging destruction on Wakefield’s shed that would make the Hulk proud and a conversation with Wakefield, Frank decided to commit to Claire and raise the child together. They went to Boston to start over.

In France, Claire and Jamie decided to infiltrate the Jacobite cause in order to prevent the destruction it will cause. Jamie convinced his cousin Jared of his supposed dedication and Jared promised to help. He asked Jamie to help run his wine importing business, which Jamie agreed to do.

On the docks, Claire diagnosed a dying sailor with smallpox. The harbormaster had to declare a ship infected and ordered it—and its cargo—burned. Its own, the Comte St. Germaine, warned Claire and Jamie that they had made a dangerous enemy.

Uh oh.

We open with a sex scene. Ahh, welcome back, Outlander. Jamie and Claire have sex…but then it turns into Black Jack. Jamie freaks out and stabs him, blood going everywhere. Outlander really is back! Anyway, even though it appears Black Jack is dead, he opens his eyes and is like “Never gonna die!”

Jamie sits up, panting. Claire wakes up and asks if he had another nightmare. He tells her he did and she assures him that Black Jack is dead. But Jamie knows he won’t be getting anymore sleep. So he slips from bed and tells her to go back to sleep.

(Poor bby)

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Zootopia: A Buddy Cop Film with Animals

When I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens, a scene from this film was played among the coming attractions. It was well-received and the entire theater was laughing. I knew it would be a big hit.
I was right.

For my birthday, I went on a Disney Cruise. And as is customary, Disney was playing its latest movies in the theaters. My parents finally got to see Star Wars and then on my birthday, we all went to see Zootopia in 3-D in the Walt Disney Theater.

And it was amazing.


We are introduced to the set up of Zootopia via a school play. Long ago, animals were divided into predator and prey. But over centuries, they evolved until they were bipedal and could talk. Predators suppressed their savage instincts and began to live peacefully with predators. And the crown jewel of their civilization is Zootopia, a place where animals can be whatever they want.

And Judy Hopps (Della Saba) wants to be the first rabbit police officer.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

OUAT: Nobody Seeks Revenge Like Gaston

Last time on “Once:” Rumple opened a portal for Hades to bring Peanut to the Underworld. It also brought Belle and a newly returned Zelena, who believed Hades wanted her daughter for the time travel spell she created back in Season 3. She pleaded with Belle to let her protect Peanut but Belle decided not to trust Zelena. So Zelena was forced to turn to Regina and Robin, who convinced Belle to give them Peanut. But they made the wrong decision to trust Zelena, who ran off with the baby.

Belle, meanwhile, learned she was pregnant…and that Rumple already gave it away centuries ago in a deal. She also learnt that he was the Dark One again and she ran off, unable to process everything.

In Oz, Hades sought out Zelena because he heard about her attempts to make a time travel spell. She tried to take the Scarecrow’s brain but a grown up Dorothy stopped her. Hades explained that he could lead Zelena to the Scarecrow and wanted to use her time travel spell to get revenge on Zeus, who stopped his heart until he received True Love’s Kiss. Which he figured was never going to happen. Feeling a connection with him, Zelena agreed to let him help. Together, they found the Scarecrow and Zelena took his brain. When she returned to her throne room, Hades revealed that he believed Zelena was his True Love and prepared to get a TLK from her. But she turned on him, thinking he wanted the time travel spell for himself. Hades went back to the Underworld and Zelena continued with her spell.

Afraid Hades wanted her daughter to enact the time travel spell, Zelena gave Peanut back to Robin for her own protection. Robin decided to go hide in the woods with her. Snow and Charming learned the message they sent their son made it and they grew more determined to get home.

Hades met with Zelena and assured her that he didn’t intend to hurt Peanut. He was trying to get her for Zelena because he still loved her. Zelena, though, wasn’t sure if he was playing her and so left him once again.

And now for tonight’s episode of “As the Underworld Turns”…

We open in the Enchanted Forest. Lord Maurice is back and trying to track down his daughter. Belle is in the stables and not even Regina’s riding coat can hide the fact Emilie de Ravin is heavily pregnant. But we’ll ignore that for now.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Outlander: Welcome Back!

Since I haven’t really recapped the last two episodes of season 1…mostly because I’m still forcing myself to watch them…I’ll skip the “Last time on Outlander” for this recap.

We open with Claire on the ground, wishing she were dead. She sits up and finds herself in the stone circle of Craig na Dun and rages against them.

Next, she wonders onto a road and is surprised when a car honks at her. The driver gets out and asks if she’s okay. She asks what year it is and he replies it’s 1948. Claire then demands to know who won the Battle of Culloden. He is now certain she is mad and doesn’t answer. Claire almost assaults him but he finally answers that the British won. Distraught, Claire collapses to the ground and wails.

Frank hurries down a hospital corridor and asks to see Claire Randall. A nurse brings him to a doctor, who explains that Claire is physically fine. She was a bit dehydrated and had some cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. He says they did have to sedate her and she’s not really talking. Frank thanks the doctor and enters her room as a radio plays.

She asks him to turn it off, though she doesn’t realize it’s Frank yet. He does so as she comments about how loud it is there. At that point, she realizes it’s Frank in her room and she grows awkward. All she can say is “I’m back.”

Sunday, April 17, 2016

OUAT: Wonderful

Last time on “Once:” Emma met Liam, Hook’s deceased older brother. He didn’t think she was good enough for Hook, which bothered her. Hook, meanwhile, believed Liam didn’t belong in the Underworld and together they were going to figure out how to defeat Hades. Henry had met the Apprentice and figured there was a storybook in the Sorcerer’s mansion. Meanwhile, Liam asked Emma to let Hook move on as Hook wondered if he was worth saving.

As they searched for the book, Hades paid Liam a visit and asked him to remove the pages pertaining to the god. He threatened to reveal the reason why Liam was in the Underworld to Killian and it worked. Liam removed the pages but Emma suspected him. When she told Hook of her suspicions, though, he took Liam’s side and stormed off.

In the past, Liam went to enlist so he could save himself and Killian from their time on Captain Silver’s ship. But when Silver got Killian drunk and tricked him into gambling away his money, Liam’s dreams of serving in the navy were dashed. They continued to sail with Silver until he took the crew on a suicidal mission to retrieve the Eye of the Storm. Liam and Killian led a mutiny and succeeded. But Hades made a deal with Liam and he lied, keeping them on their suicidal mission. In the end, only Liam and Killian made it out alive…but with the jewel. They were rescued by the royal navy of…wherever…and were given commissions on the spot.

Killian learned the truth as Silver and his crew took Liam. Hades taunted the Brothers Jones and Liam almost fell to his death. But when he sacrificed himself for Killian, he earned his place in the Happy Place. It also worked for the sailors he sacrificed, so after a goodbye to Killian—who decided to stay—they headed off to Happy Place.

Hook went back with Emma, determined to learn Hades’ secret and go home with Emma. Meanwhile, we learnt that the pages Liam ripped out featured Hades with Zelena!

dun dun DUN!

Monday, April 11, 2016

OUAT: Brotherly Love

Last time on “Once:” Rumpelstiltskin recruited his ex-wife and Hook’s former lover, Milah, to help him and Emma rescue Hook. It worked but Hades made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, who ended up killing Milah again and lying about it. Typical Rumple.

Regina went searching for Daniel’s grave and found that he moved on. She also had some closure with her horse.

In the past, Bae suffered a snakebite that was poisonous. But the antidote was too expensive for his parents. Milah convinced Rumple to kill the healer and steal it. While she was flirting with Hook, he tried to do so but instead made a deal with the healer for it. He agreed to give the healer his second born child, much to Milah’s horror. Rumple failed to see the problem.

Until he thought about having children with Cora. He killed the healer but it seemed the deal didn’t die, especially in the Underworld. Hades had the contract Rumple signed and he revealed that Belle was pregnant. And Rumple was going to do what he wanted or Hades would take his child.

Uh oh.

Henry needs an adult. He’s in Cruella’s car as she speeds through the woods in the Underworld. She’s certain they can find someone who can lead them to the pen there and stops, letting Henry so they can search. 

(This is a dangerous situation)

Saturday, April 9, 2016

OUAT: In Which Rumple is a Colossal Jerk

Last time on “Once:” Hook tried to outrun Cerberus and failed, but managed to get Megara out. She got his message to Emma and the others but now the Cerberus was after them. Mary Margaret realized an old friend of hers was in the Underworld and she asked him for help, figuring he could help them find Hook while getting a chance to move on. This friend? Hercules!

We learned that Hercules befriended a young Snow when she was struggling with how to be a ruler. He taught her archery and how to stand up to bandits being paid by Regina to terrorize the countryside. In the end, the people loved Snow White and she kissed Hercules before he continued with his tasks to join Mt. Olympus.

(No one tell David)

Robin and Henry broke into Cora’s office to try and get some maps. Robin stood guard while Henry crawled through the air duct, coming across Cruella. She told him that his pen is down in the Underworld and he could use it to help the souls finish their business and move on. Henry left the office, keeping his encounter with the psychopath a secret.

Regina gave Mary Margaret a pep talk, which led to Mary Margaret giving Hercules a pep talk. As the Cerberus attacked again, she teamed up with Hercules and Megara to finally defeat it. Hercules and Meg clicked and went off to Mt. Olympus together. Mary Margaret decided to be Snow White full time again.

Hades ordered Hook to pick three of his friends to stay in the Underworld to replace the souls they had helped escape.

We open there, with Hades waiting for Hook to chisel names into the tombstones. But Hook drops it and says he won’t do that. So Hades hauls him over to the green river filled with souls we all remember from he movie. He warns Hook not to touch it or his soul will be trapped there forever and says they’re going for a little boat ride.

(That's definitely not It's a Small World)