Wanna Be On Top?

Cycle 11! Tyra voice-overs that it's been ten cycles and Top Model is heading into it's next decade and going to Los Angeles. We see shots of past winners--and I forgot how beautiful Whitney was--as the thirty-three finalists arrive. They show up to some warehouse where they are greeted by robots that look like Mr. Jay Manuel and Ms. J. Alexander (henceforth known as Beta Jay and Alpha J). The girls change into wet suits as they take pictures and, oh, first mention of the signature walk! Finally, Tyra-bot comes to welcome them to Cycle 11. She tells them to forget technology and just be models.

The robots "teleport" into panel and then Tyra trips. She's still human. Let the judging begin! Lauren Brie reminds me of another contestant...I'm thinking CariDee. And Analeigh is so adorable--and I like the story how she was nearly sold to someone from Saudi Arabia. Oh, Clark's been studying past cycles--when asked who the prettiest girl is, she responds herself. But I think she's trying to set herself up as the cycle bitch. And Marjorie is from France! Cool...she reminds me, physically of Jael, but more coherent. Oh my god, Isis is from last cycle--she was the background during the homeless shot who stole the show! And she used to be dude. And she looks more feminine than Dominique.

I'm liking Sheena, who Tyra is already comparing to Kimora Lee Simmons. There's a plus-sized-yet-not-plus-sized model. Look! Models eating! I know, that's probably stale after ten cycles of non-stop munching. Hannah from Alaska recounts how she was chased by a moose, which Tyra makes her re-enact. That leads to a montage of silliness. Did anyone catch what was written underneath Elina's navel? And she admits to have a crush on Clark--is this going to be Kim and Sarah Round Two? (Cycle Five?)

Oops, blinked and missed Whitney's My Life as a Cover Girl.

And we start with Nikeysha flashing us. Hello, pixels! And now we got a cage fighter. Model v. Beta Jay. Hmm...Susan is from Harvard, because we know the Ivy Leaguers go pretty far in the competition. She admits she's an English major and Tyra knows more than the Harvard grad! And we end with a lecture on passion as we learn who is going home and who goes to a photoshoot. Hannah the Moose Girl makes it, CariDee 2 does as well, Sheena makes it (yay!), Isis, Cage Fighter, Ivy League makes it, Bitch Wannabe, Nikeysha. And now the crying begins. Renee is just a mess.

Photoshoot! And new wet suits--that look like someone stretched Mimi's pants from Rent to cover the body. Sheena and Hannah are endearing themselves to me just by personality. Liking: Analeigh, Lauren Brie, and Elina from photos. Not sure about personality.

Top Models in action? Being narrated by NIGEL! Talking about Toccara. Oh, it's trying to promote the "Meet the Models" contest since there's no Cover Girl of the Week yet.

Oh back to the robot theme. Conference time. Ooh, Lindsay is Whitney 2. Good point, Robots. Uh oh, Clark has been dubbed the pretty girl. We all know what Tyra does to the pretty girls. Well, time to find out who we're going to watch for the next 13 weeks. The girls have taken the Miss America poses while waiting.

Ready? Here comes: Sheena (SWEET!), Analeigh, Nikeysha, Marjorie, Samantha, Elina, Brittany R., Brittany S (Cage Girl), Brittney B (We have WAY to many Brittney's on this show. And Tyra thought two Amy's was going to be bad), Hannah (aww, I'm glad), Lauren (CariDee 2), Isis, Clark (who hugs Elina. It will be Kim and Sarah Round Two), and Joslyn. More tears. I think we'll be seeing Kacey next cycle since they are focusing on her.

Onwards to episode two and the first elimination!