Galavant: Welcome to Purgatory

Last time on “Galavant:” After wandering the woods, the main trio came upon the lands belonging to Galavant’s father. He wanted to keep going but was outvoted. He learnt his father was taking in young boys and training them to be knights. Galavant and his father made up and it was sweet.
Isabella returned to Hortensia, rescued her parents from the dungeons, threw out Wormwood and finally got Harry to call off the arranged marriage.

Sid escaped Valencia and ran into Wormwood. He found out what happened between Isabella and Galavant and set out to right things. Wormwood went to offer a war to Madalena and Gareth.
When Sid found Galavant, he tried to give Galavant a sword. It ended up in his stomach.

Oops.

(Sign post)

Sid, Richard and Roberta rush Galavant to the greatest healer in the land—Neo of Sporin. (Get it?). When they get there, Neo sings about how he can save everybody instead of, you know, healing Galavant. So by the time the song is over, Galavant is dead.

Uh oh.


In Valencia, Wormwood helps Madalena and Gareth plan their war against Hortensia. He also picks up on their feelings and wonders if he should be planning a wedding as well. 

(His wedding planning senses are tingling)

Madalena panics and flees the room while Gareth ponders his feelings…through the most earnest love song parody ever. It even comes complete with a “Follow the bouncing bird blue” sing-along!

(The bird even has a crown of its own!)

Back at Neo of Sporin, Richard and Roberta wonder if there is anything else Neo can do for Galavant. Neo reveals that he has been working on a potion that could bring someone back from the dead but he can’t find the last ingredient—a gray hair from the beard of a middle-aged virgin. Richard grows suspiciously quiet and evasive.

(Guess who's back. Back again)

But lo, the unicorn has found Richard. It appears in the window and everyone looks at Richard. He sighs and admits that he’s a middle-aged virgin. He allows Neo to take a gray hair from his beard to save Galavant. Neo remarks that he’ll never forget the day he saw such a magnificent creature.

Oh, and the unicorn is cool too.

In Hortensia, the jester comes in with the invitation they received to attend the battle. Everyone is surprised and alarmed that Valencia plans to attack. As Isabella talks about mounting a defense, everyone starts to put their fingers against their noses. She stops and asks what they are doing. Harry explains that tradition says whoever is last to lay their finger aside of their nose is the last to go up the chimney gets to lead the army.

Congrats, Isabella!

(How scientific)

Madalena is acting weird and avoiding Gareth while he tries to pack for the battle. She’s trying to put some distance after the wedding suggestion while Gareth seems fine with how things are. Madalena doesn’t get that and when Gareth drops to his knee, she freaks out. As she runs out, he yells out that he was just tying his boot and then sighs.

("This is not a proposal!")

Back at Neo’s place, they administer the potion to Galavant. Richard asks if it’ll work but he can’t give them any guarantees. All they can do is wait.

Galavant, meanwhile, is in an eerie version of Neo’s place that seems to have a fog machine constantly running. Death (Eddie Marsan) greets him and then proceeds to sing a song about it, since this is Galavant. During the number, Richard, Roberta and Sid pop up to join in the song. Galavant also sees Isabella as she plans to fight off Gareth and Madalena. He grows concerned for her, especially once he realizes that she didn’t hear their last conversation that well and thinks he hates her. Galavant is now determined to live.

(One. Singular Sensation)

Richard and Roberta stay by Galavant’s body. Richard says he’ll be all alone if he doesn’t have Galavant and she assures him that won’t be the case. He seems confused until she finally comes out and says it: She loves him. She didn’t come to fight for Galavant but to be with him. Richard is touched and starts to realize that maybe things could work out for them. He leans closer as does she and they are about to kiss when Galavant sits up, revealing he’s fine. Richard is thrilled, Roberta is happy but frustrated.

(Foiled again!)

Gareth finally gets Madalena to stand still for a few minutes so they can figure out their relationship. In the end, they agree they are in love and will see what happens from there. For now, though, they rally their troops and get ready to invade Hortensia.

(Aww, what a cute, blood-thirsty couple)

Isabella goes to inspect Hortensia’s armory. It’s…nothing, really. Just a bunch of toys. When she questions it, Harry’s like “I’m eleven. What did you expect?” So now she has to figure out how to get proper weapons for an army she hopes isn’t just a Boy Scout troop.

(Uh oh)

As Galavant explains that he needs to go help Isabella, Richard and Roberta agree to stay with him as does Sid—with some reservations. But there still is the matter of an army. They’ve been trying to raise one but have been unsuccessful.

Neo of Sporin pops back up and reveals that his lair was the site of a gruesome battle. He says that he had been meddling with that potion for a long time and was using the bodies of those who died in his experiments. While they weren’t exactly alive, they aren’t exactly dead either. Yep, Neo has an army of zombies. And he gives them to Galavant to use.

(Zombies work)

So the four living fighters get on their horses and lead their zombies toward battle.

Zombie army? I can get behind it. And while I was rooting for Richard to be canonically gay, I’m okay with him and Roberta. I’m a sucker for the childhood friend triumphant trope. I can still headcanon he’s bi and also in love with Galavant.

Next time: Everyone gets ready for battle while Madalena takes one step closer to becoming Regina on Once Upon a Time.

Screen caps from here