Doctor Who: We’re Men! Men in Tights!

Robot of Sherwood or "Robin Hood and the Knights Who Vaporize People"

Clara is a Robin Hood fangirl who gets to live every fangirl's fantasy. The Doctor, meanwhile, tries to figure out what's really going on and stumbles across a spaceship. Of course.

Now an old-hat at traveling with the Doctor, there’s someone Clara’s been dying to meet: Robin Hood. Apparently, she’s a fangirl. The Doctor tells her that Robin Hood doesn’t exist despite the fact that most scholars do believe he was based on a real person and that seems like something the Doctor would know. And breathe. Sorry. But Clara’s insistent, so the Doctor relents. He lands the TARDIS, still ranting about how Robin Hood doesn’t exist. But the arrow now lodged in his TARDIS beg to differ.

(I object!)

CREDITS!
Robin Hood declares his intent to steal the TARDIS. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to help the poor, Robin. Anyway, the Doctor is having none of this. Robin brandishes a sword; the Doctor wields a spoon. And he manages to hold his own, fighting Robin down to a creek. Clara follows, watching the spectacle. The Doctor distracts Robin and pushes him into the creek. Clara joins him on the log, asking him where Robin went. As he checks the water, he ends up falling in. Except that it’s revealed Robin pushed him in. Robin seems to give up his plan to take the TARDIS and welcomes the Doctor and Clara.

(It's Robin Hood!)

In a nearby village, we meet the Sheriff and his black knights. They raid the village for gold. And they haul off people for slave labor. Including a young woman…but not her father. He’s deemed too old for work. The man tries to fight back, but the Sheriff kills him instead. The woman is hauled off by the Sheriff.

(Say hi to the Sheriff of Nottingham and the Knights Who Say Ni!)

Robin takes the two back to his camp and introduces them to his companions. Clara calls them the “Merry Men” and inspires Robin. As he introduces each man, the Doctor tries to prove that they aren’t real. The men just ignore him as Clara is over the moon. The Doctor, though, asks what season it is. Robin replies that it’s early fall. The Doctor, though, says it’s too sunny and too warm. Clara wonders if it’s just how the climates changed over the years. The Doctor denies this.

As the Doctor continues to look around, Robin fills them in on what’s happening in Sherwood. Namely, Richard’s off fighting the Crusades, leaving his horrible brother Prince John in charge. In Nottingham, the Sheriff is oppressing the masses. So Robin is fighting back. Unfortunately, his beloved Marian was a casualty in the fight and is imprisoned somewhere. But he has other things to worry about. There’s an archery contest the next day! Clara warns him it’s a trap but Robin knows that. But Robin can’t resist proving himself the best archer in the land. He’s going.

The Doctor is still in disbelief while Clara demands that the Doctor admit it’s real. He asks her why she wants to believe in impossible things. Clara looks at him confused and asks if he really doesn’t remember. So now the Doctor’s forgotten: “The Fires of Pompeii,” “Girl in the Fireplace,” and the fact that Clara is the Impossible Girl. What else has he forgotten? Who has he forgotten?

(That's my face as well. What else has he forgotten?)

At the competition, Robin is clearly superior than anyone else. And the Sheriff is nearly wetting himself over the prospect of seizing Robin Hood. 

("My disguise is perfect")

("Idiot")

But then the Doctor steps in and is able to fire an arrow perfectly, thanks to some help from his Sonic. I thought that doesn’t work on wood? Anyway, the knights capture the Doctor, Clara and Robin. The Doctor realizes he’s found his robots.

The three are dragged to the castle, where the peasants are melting gold for something. But Robin, Clara and the Doctor are locked in a dungeon. The Doctor and Robin bicker and Clara just wants to be anywhere else. They attract the attention of a guard and Clara gets her wish. She gets to dine with the Sheriff, away from Robin and the Doctor.

(Clara asks for the strength not to kill them)

Outside, the Merry Men realize the knights are only taking gold. Hey, they are earning their pay! Good job, lads!

So how are they using the gold? They are melting it down and pouring it into a mold that looks like a circuit. Hmm…The young village woman helps an older man when he falls down. She tells him to rest. A knight comes up and tells them to get back to work. The young woman tells it that they need rest and water. The Knight is having none of that. Sensing the old man is past his prime, it lasers him to death as the young woman screams. I wonder if this was supposed to be the beheading scene that got retooled in the wake of recent events with ISIS.

(Please note the girl)

In the dungeons, the Doctor and Robin continue to bicker. And then they start yelling for the guards. Clara just wants them to shut up. And she gets to get away when it is determined she is the leader, so she gets to talk to the Sheriff. Clara practically runs from the dungeon while the two macho men sulk in the dark.

Upstairs, the Sheriff is bespotted with Clara. And she plays him like a fiddle. She talks about how she knew she was destined to marry a great man since she saw the lights in the sky. The Sheriff is surprised someone else saw them too. He wants to know her story. But she tricks him into telling his first. He saw the strange lights and then he met the Black Knights. He realized they could help him be so much more. He’s not meant to be a mere sheriff. No, he’s meant to be king of England. And maybe even the world! You know, classic villain stuff.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Robin decide to bust out of the dungeons by working together. Kinda. Robin starts to groan loudly while the Doctor calls for the guard. This time, a scared looking man runs in. He asks if Robin is dying. The Doctor says he’s having a nervous breakdown. The guard is like “Well, you’re going to die anyway. Peace out.” The Doctor and Robin try, getting him to drop the keys. But they fail to reach them. The Doctor says the good thing is that Clara wasn’t there to see it.

(The fact they haven't killed each other is impressive)

Speaking of Clara, the Sheriff tells her its her turn in Storytime. She reveals that she lied in order to get the Sheriff talking. Instead of being angry, he’s impressed. He says she’ll make the perfect queen for him. Clara’s like “Oh no. Absolutely not.” She struggles against him, trying to get away.

(This is kinda creepy)

The Doctor and Robin finally manage to escape their cell and run around the castle. Along the way, they find the spaceship’s control center. It’s just disguised as a medieval castle. The Doctor checks its databanks while Robin marvels at everything around him. The ship’s destination is “The Promised Land.” In case you couldn’t tell, that’s this season’s code phrase. The Doctor moves on and realizes that the ship’s databanks are filled with stories about Robin Hood. The Doctor feels vindicated.

(Or is the ship destined to an old 90's drama?)

Robin’s confused, so the Doctor explains. The Black Knight Robots have created Robin Hood to give the people hope, in order to keep a productive workforce. Robin’s like “But I’m a real boy!” The Doctor, though, has moved on to figuring out what the Black Knight Robots really want.

(Robin is all very confused by this)

But the Sheriff bursts in with Clara in tow. The Doctor says that the robots are using the gold to fix their ship—especially the engines. But he doesn’t think it will work. The Sheriff is more focused on Robin. But he manages to escape—with Clara as his hostage. 

(The Doctor realizes he may have underestimated Robin)

He falls into the moat and the Sheriff believes he’s a goner. The Sheriff turns back to the Doctor, who still believes Robin is part of the Sheriff’s plan. But the Sheriff says that’s stupid—why would he create someone to fight against him? The Doctor realizes that’s true and starts to believe that maybe Robin is a real boy after all.

Outside, Robin and Clara get out of the moat and go back to the Merry Men’s camp. There, he asks her about the Doctor. He wants to know if he can trust him. Meanwhile, Doctor befriends that girl who has been featured throughout the episode. They work together to get to the engine room. 

Anyway, the Sheriff decides it’s time to conquer the world. He’s going to fly the magical castle to London, depose Prince John and take his place as ruler of the tristate area England. The Doctor says the engines aren’t strong enough yet and that they won’t make it. Of course the Sheriff doesn’t listen to him. The people run from the castle as it starts to shake. Who can stop the Sheriff?

Robin Hood! And Clara!

(The cavalry is here!)

Robin and the Sheriff fight around the room, but the Sheriff knocks Robin’s sword out of his hand. Robin puts his hand up and as the Sheriff lunges, he steps out of the way. Just like the Doctor did to him. But instead of the creek, the Sheriff ends up in the vat of melted gold. Ouch.

(*Insert Wilhelm Scream here*)

But the Black Knights aren’t deterred. Their castle is taking off and heading to the promised land. But the Doctor has figured out that the engines aren’t stable enough. The castle will explode and take out England. Of course. He scrambles outside with Robin and Clara. They need to take the castle down. But Robin’s arm was injured in the fight and he can’t hold the bow and arrow. What about the Doctor? Turns out he put a homing device in the arrow, hence why the sonic worked on it. Clara offers to do it but the Doctor doubts she can. In the end, Robin still shoots the arrow, with the Doctor and Clara holding his bow. In the atmosphere, the castle goes boom.

(Teamwork!)

The Doctor and Clara prepare to leave. And the Doctor pretty much tells Robin that he is a real boy. Robin’s like “Told you so.” He talks to the Doctor about becoming a legend and says he hopes people really haven’t forgotten the real man he was. And he thinks the Doctor understands and mentions that Clara told him all about the Doctor. The Doctor is not too thrilled to hear it until Robin assures him that he is Clara’s real hero.

Clara and the Doctor get back into the TARDIS. As he leaves, the Doctor leaves a gift for Robin. Remember that young woman from the village? Guess what? She’s Maid Marian! She and Robin are reunited. Happy endings all around!

(Is anyone surprised? No, really. Is anyone really surprised?)

Well, until Maid Marian is imprisoned and then killed by the Evil Queen, who falls in love with Robin years later. But then a Savior comes and rescues Maid Marian, reuniting her with Robin and breaking the not-so-evil Queen’s heart.

Oops, wrong show. Sorry.

Well, that was a nice light episode. And I always enjoy a Mark Gatiss episode. Hope we see more!

Screen caps from here.