Sunday, September 9, 2012

ANTM: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Last time on ANTM: The girls adjusted to living in their new house as Tyra showed them around. Including the Tyra Suite. Rob shows up to take them to their first challenge—working it at a club! Yvonne wins and gets to stay in the Tyra Suite. Shenae Grimes is their photographer as they pretend to be mounted on a wall. At panel, social media comes into play as the judges rank the girls. In the end, Leila gets the best photo and access to the Tyra Suite. Meanwhile, Destiny and Jessie fall to the bottom. But the public liked Destiny more than Jessie and she is sent home. Except not! She can compete to come back into the competition! Who joins her? Find out!

Wanna be on top?


The girls return to the house to see Leila’s photo displayed as digital art. Guess they are still doing that. She thanks the fans for voting online before inviting Laura to join her in the Tyra Suite. Leila says Laura is the best but clearly the feelings aren’t returned as Laura wonders what Leila is up to by inviting her to share the room. Laura says she isn’t going to be sharing tips with anyone because…sing it if you know the words…this is a competition! Outside, Darian doesn’t think Leila is a model and is jealous. She talks about walking in New Orleans fashion week and loving it.

TYRA MAIL! “Who’s gonna make the cut?” The girls flip out because this means makeovers. Some girls are excited, some girls aren’t. Victoria hopes they don’t make her short as she doesn’t think it’ll look good with her hair while Maria doesn’t want her hair to be cut at all. She says if they do, she’ll flip out. Maria, have you seen this show before? That never works out. Maria talks about being the ugly duckling and so focused on her education. She goes to Harvard, y’all. Destiny wonders if she’s really as smart as she says given her attitude. I have to agree with Destiny.

CREDITS!

COMMERCIALS! (Even though I’m watching this on the CW Online player, there were still as many ads as if I watched this on TV!)

When we come back, Johnny and Kelly greet the girls. They hold the makeovers Tyra wishes to subject the girls to. But this year, the girls can choose whether they want to a makeover or not. The catch is they can’t know what the makeover is before they make their decision. In the end, only Maria and Victoria abstain from the makeovers. The other girls open their envelopes. Destiny has long pieces in front and a shaved head in the back. She isn’t too thrilled. Darian is getting a layered bob and Laura gets an icy blonde. The girls are sent to the chairs while Kelly asks Maria and Victoria to wait.

Darian undergoes her makeover as Tyra shows up. She tells Darian she was going to keep her braids but social media didn’t like them. Darian doesn’t care; she knows how to play the game. And she looks good. Then Tyra goes to speak to Maria and Victoria, to ask why they didn’t take the makeover. Victoria explains she inherited her Cherokee great-grandmother’s hair and didn’t want to lose it. Tyra says that the fashion industry doesn’t care about things like that and it makes her question how much the girls want this. Victoria and Maria open their packets—Maria didn’t get much different, Victoria was going red. Victoria panics. Tyra tells them that she’ll see what the judges and social media has to say about them not doing the makeovers.

Wait, I’m still confused about this. From what I understand, the show is still taped. All voting was done over the summer. How are the viewers at home supposed to know a girl didn’t do the makeover? After all, Tyra has opted to keep girls looking exactly as they are. Was it printed somewhere? And I don’t know about you, but I like the drama of makeover day to see the reasons why a girl doesn’t like her makeover. I’d wait on my opinion to see what the girls themselves had to say. In this case, I think it is stupid.

Tyra then has to go comfort Destiny, who thinks her hair do will make her look like a lesbian and Tyra is like “Aren’t you?” But it turns out Destiny is bi and doesn’t want to look like a little boy. Tyra tells her to rock it and I must say, the look isn’t as bad as you imagine when you first hear it.

Kelly goes over to talk to Maria. Maria says she didn’t want to cut her hair. Kelly says an agency won’t rep a new model who isn’t flexible. What would happen if Karl Lagerfield asked her to cut her hair? Maria says she would for Lagerfield. Who, if I remember correctly, is (was?) quite critical of the show. Kelly tries to go back about the agencies and Maria says she has representation. In Boston. And Kelly says that firm is insignificance and asks Maria to name national campaigns she’s done. Zero.

COMMERCIALS! (Seven. I counted seven commercials on CW online player. Know how many I get on ABC’s online player? Two).

The others girl come out the other side looking pretty good. Most seem to go longer. Brittany goes shorter and red. Kristin goes shorter and gets bangs. Laura likes her new blonde hair. And then P’Trique comes out. Looks like we’re going to suffer him for the rest of the season. I will only like him if he puts on a pirate outfit and does the death mail announcement.

TYRA MAIL! “As a top model, your body of work is revealing to who you are. So make sure you get the right exposure.” Someone predicts nudity.

Back at the house, Maria goes to bed as she says she has to stay true to who she is. Downstairs, the girls all think she is a goner and that she doesn’t care about winning. Meanwhile, Kiara wants Darian to go home because she’s loud. Allyssa leaves the group, saying she’s going to hang out with Darian and Kiara asks her to ask Darian to stay quiet after midnight. Allyssa does so and Darian goes to confront Kiara. She says she’ll stay up as late as she wants to. Umm, Kiara isn’t saying to go to bed at midnight, but to just be quiet. But I have to agree with Darian that Kiara should’ve discussed it in person rather than have Allyssa send the message. They then get into an argument over who is a bitch…Ladies, you do realize the term is NOT a badge of honor, right? Remember when Tyra made all the girls give up smoking? Maybe she should do a cycle where they can’t use the word “bitch.”

Destiny pushes Darian in her closet as Kiara leaves, declaring herself a real bitch. The camera briefly flashes on Kristin, who smiles. You know she’s thinking “And people thought I’d be the cycle bitch.” The other girls mock Kiara after she leaves while Victoria confesses that college-age girls should not be using “I’m a bitch” as an argument. Thank you, Victoria. I could almost forgive you your Norman Bates-level dependency on your mother for that statement. Kiara keeps going on as Victoria and a few other girls have to listen.

COMMERCIALS!

We come back to a garden where the girls are greeted by Johnny. He introduces them to their photographer, Tony Duran. He gave Johnny his start in the industry and will now be shooting the girls in the nude. And they’ll be posing with Rob! The girls go nuts. As they wait in the tents, pixelated parts everywhere, some of the girls ask Maria what Kelly said to her. She replies that Kelly wasn’t too pleased with her decision and then calls Kelly something that gets bleeped. Destiny pauses her meal and asks if she just called a judge a “bleep.” Maria says she did. Allyssa is surprised that Harvard-educated Maria is stupid enough to call a judge a “bleep” and is insulted Maria would call another woman that. So I have a sneaking suspicion what the “bleep” is.

Outside, Brittany nails her shoot with Rob. Johnny praises the change Brittany’s makeover brought out. Meanwhile, Yvonne thinks she has great chemistry with Rob. Johnny thinks she needs to learn her angles and loves Laura. Nastasia knees Rob but then gets a good shot. Leila also does well while Maria sits staring in the distance. Victoria says she (Maria) needs to bring it if she wants to continue. Darian notes that Kiara is watching her, trying to intimidate her. As she poses with Rob, Tony thinks it’s too romantic. But as much as Tony isn’t impressed with Darian, that’s how unimpressed Rob is with Kiara.

Johnny goes to talk to Maria and she says she’s not going to do the photoshoot. He’s like “That’s not good.” But she continues—she doesn’t think she wants to be in the competition anymore. She says she wants to model but there are so many other things she wants to do as well. And so, Maria withdraws from the competition. Remember in my first recap I said going to CW Online accidentally spoilered me? This is the spoiler—this week’s page showed Maria withdrew.

COMMERCIALS!

We come back as Johnny announces Maria’s departure. Laura and Kristin are not sad to see her go. Kristin then fails to deliver on set and Rob really, really doesn’t like her. Meanwhile, Destiny worries about not doing well and she doesn’t. Johnny talks to Victoria, who has been curling her hair since that was part of her intended makeover. Johnny likes it and likes her on set.

At home, the girls talk about Maria leaving. Allyssa says she wanted to see Kelly cut Maria down. And she can’t believe Maria went to the same school as Tyra! Take comfort, Allyssa, Tyra didn’t attend the same Harvard Maria did. Trust me. Destiny isn’t thrilled with her hair cut and is making me flashback to Jaeda. Also, anyone notice the girls are still covering their hair in confessionals? Does that mean there’s another makeover in their future? Anyway, Victoria is really worried. She knows she rocked the shoot but her decision at the makeover looms over her. So she calls her mother, who encourages her to keep going.

COMMERCIALS!

LA! We come to panel, where Tyra greets the girls and makes the standard comment about their makeovers. There are judges—Kelly Cutrone, Rob Evans and Bryanboy. Who was on the photoshoot but didn’t do much so I didn’t mention him. Tyra sits down and says since there was no challenge, they’ll be ranked on photoshoot and social media scores. Laura is first! She thanks Tyra for her makeover (she’s watched the show). The panel love her shot. Rob likens her to Greek goddess and himself to a Greek god. Tyra takes a moment to laugh at his ego. Kelly and Tyra praises Laura before Bryanboy plays a video of someone praising Laura. Judges score? Kelly gives her an 8, Rob a 10 and Tyra an 8. Darian is next and the comments aren’t good. Even on social media. Kelly gives her a 5, Rob a 4 and Tyra a 7. Anyone else think Darian looked like Bianca in that picture?

Up next is Darian’s nemesis, Kiara. Her picture doesn’t impress Kelly while Tyra compares her to Gabrielle Reece. Bryanboy reveals she has a low social media score but he likes her. Kelly gives her a 4, Rob a 7 and Tyra a 9. Methinks Tyra is being a bit generous. Victoria steps forward and apologizes for her attitude at makeovers. Tyra accepts it and basks in Victoria’s humility. She also praises Victoria’s curls. The panel loves her shot and it is a good shot. Bryanboy notes her social media approval went up. Rob and Kelly give her a 9 and Tyra gives her a 10. Brittany steps up and her shot is a great one as well. Rob says it’s like she’s telling her ex “Look at what you’re missing out on.” Kelly says it’s her favorite and Bryanboy says she’s a hit online. Rob gives her a 9 while Kelly and Tyra give her a 10.

Destiny steps up and Tyra says that wasn’t the hairstyle she wanted. Apparently, she also wanted Destiny to go blonde and if she stays, she’ll get it. They then look at the picture and it’s not the greatest. Rob says he wants her to do well since they have similar backgrounds. He tells her to remember her past and then use the drive not to go back to it to propel her forward. Bryanboy pulls up a video of someone praising Destiny. Kelly and Rob give her 7’s while Tyra gives her a 6. Kristin’s picture isn’t as bad as Rob thought it’d be after how difficult he found it to work with her. Tyra reveals that while the picture is good, her film wasn’t. Kelly gives her a 7, Rob a 6 and Tyra an 8.

Rob and Bryanboy praise Leila’s gap while Kelly wanted to see a more womanly appearance. She gives Leila a 7, Rob gives her a 10 and Tyra a 9. Yvonne is next and says she doesn’t want to be known for her ass. Tyra reminds her about the importance of branding. Bryanboy says Yvonne’s fans were disappointed with her. Kelly gives her a 4 but Tyra and Rob give her 6’s. Kelly and Rob praise Nastasia’s picture and Rob says she will be known for her hair. Tyra says that she looks short in the picture. Kelly gives her a 7, Rob a 9 and Tyra a 6. Really, Tyra? Allyssa’s picture is praised and Tyra says she loves that she’s inhaling. Social media likes her as well. Kelly gives her an 8, Rob a 9 and Tyra a 10. She’s the last.

COMMERCIALS!

ELIMINATION! The girl with best photo is…Victoria! She is thankful as she goes to get her picture. She is joined by Brittany, Allyssa, Leila, Laura, Nastasia, Kristin, Destiny, and Kiara. Darian and Yvonne are our bottom two. Yvonne: Is absolutely stunning but the public didn’t like her photo. Nor did the judges. Darian: Beautiful girl with big eyes and lips. But is pushy in a photo. They have the same judges score and it’s determined by the social media score. Who stays? By the power of the fans, Yvonne stays. Tyra says this shows how important the fans are.

Tyra goes to encourage Darian. She says she really wants this and Darian is crying. She gets down on the floor and asks Tyra not to play with her. But Tyra talks about competing in the photoshoots to get the chance to come back. Darian gets a hug and thanks her. She goes to say her goodbyes. Is it just me or does Yvonne look pissed off about the comeback challenge?

Darian says she’s sad to be eliminated but promises to comeback and win.

America’s Next Top Model:

Allyssa
Brittany
Darian
Destiny
Jessie
Kiara
Kristin
Laura
Leila
Maria*
Nastasia
Victoria
Yvonne

*Contestant quit

Wow. As I said, Maria’s departure was spoiled for me. But I half-expected a non-elimination at panel. Darian’s elimination was a surprise, especially given how much Rob doesn’t like Kristin. But Tyra clearly uses her voting power to either keep or lose certain girls. See how she scored Kiara over how she scored Nastasia. Oh well. I still want to know why those other girls were wearing things over their hair. Is Destiny not alone in getting a new makeover?

Next week: Tyler Perry! Acting? A fight?

Quote of the Episode

“You’re really committed to defending mediocrity.” –Kelly to Maria

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