Here Comes the Bride, All Dressed in White

Weddings!

All my male readers have just run for the doors, I can tell. That’s okay. We don’t want any roosters in the hen house, to quote Lori.

Yep, I’m talking about “Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta” on TLC!

The show is a spin-off of “Say Yes to the Dress,” which is set at a prominent bridal store in New York City. While it’s nice, it isn’t as funny as the Atlanta version. I guess it is because Lori is the owner, she can be a bit more forthright. And there is always a healthy dose of sass!

There is a regular cast of sales associates in Atlanta. Besides Lori, there is Monte. He’s one of the few men who work at the store and is the fashion director. If a bride needs a pep talk or some convincing, Monte is your guy. He is also the one responsible for “jacking up” brides. This means he puts a veil on them, some jewelry and shows them what they will look like on their wedding day. There is also Robin Gibbs (Bridal Manager) who manages to remain pleasant even when she wants to throttle the most difficult customers. There is also Flo Waters (Bridal Assistant Manager), who is usually a voice of reason in the insanity.

Each episode has the same basic set up. We are introduced to two brides looking for their dress and one bride coming in for alterations. The brides usually talk about their fiancés and their wedding plans. The last bride, the one in alterations, is usually seen at her wedding day.

In each episode, someone usually comes across as a bitch. Common themes (and likely bitches) in the episodes include:

• Mom vs. Daughter

This is the most common theme. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be “mom”. It can be a grandmother, an aunt, a stepmother, future mother-in-law, etc. The main battle is general mom’s idea of the perfect wedding dress and the daughter’s idea of the perfect wedding dress. In this case, the consultant has to play mediator and try to find the perfect compromise. There have been episodes where mom (or grandmother) wanted a white dress while the bride fell in love with an ivory dress or something similar. Or mom wants something more traditional while the bride wants something more modern. For example, there was a recent episode where Mom was extremely strict. She ix-nayed nearly every dress because it wasn’t traditional or modest enough for her. Finally, the daughter stood up for herself and got the dress she wanted. Mom liked it and was overcome with emotion.

Likely bitch: Mom.

• Budget vs. Dress

Always a tense struggle. Mom has a budget. Bride has a dream dress. Dream dress isn’t in the budget. Cue the dramatic music. It’s a tale as old as time. In a recent episode, a bride had a limit from her mother. But the bride was used to getting her way and decided to ignore the limit. One of her sisters accurately stated that her sister believed the more expensive the dress, the prettier it was. The bride kept insisting on wearing more expensive dresses. Lori stepped in and told Mom to stand up to the bridezilla, which Mom did. Daughter tried to guilt the mother while her sisters called her on her selfish ways. In the end, the bride went home sans a dress.

Or there’s this scenario: Bride has a budget. Friends don’t care. They go crazy in the store, picking out any dress that catches their eye. The bride then tries one of these dresses on and loves it. Then she sees the price tag and flips out. She then has to try on other dresses but that one dress is still haunting the back of her mind. The consultants now know they are fighting an uphill battle and wish to throttle the friends.

One of the first episodes I watched included this problem. The bride’s friend found the perfect dress for her but Mom couldn’t afford it. The bride couldn’t find a dress she liked as much as the other one. However, these people are pros and can usually placate the bride’s dream and her budget. In the above example, Lori and Flo worked together to make the bride happy. They took the skirt from the dress the bride liked and combined it with a different bodice, from a less expensive gown the bride liked. The bride loved the look. Because the dress was designed by a designer who works exclusively with Lori, he was willing to make the changes. Happy ending all around!

Likely bitch: Bride (if against Mom’s budget) or Friends

• Bride vs. the Peanut Gallery

It’s a magical day for the bride. Naturally, she wants to share it with those closest to her. This could be as few people as her mother, other female relatives and/or a friend or two. This could be as many as every family member or friend the bride knows. Lori often advises against bringing so many people. However, many of those accompanying the bride are opinionated and often not afraid to share. For example, there was a bride who tried on a beautiful pink dress that she loved. Her friends, though, didn’t. And they told her. She soldiered on, but these girls didn’t like anything their friend tried on. Finally, Lori had to step in and verbally slap them down. They eventually shut their mouths and the bride chose her favorite—the pink dress.

This can be a problem if there is a bride who won’t stand up for herself for whatever reason. Sometimes, she’s afraid of offending an older relative. Other times, she’s afraid of offending a friend. Or she may just be a people-pleaser. There are only two ways this could end—with someone getting put in their place or a disappointed bride leaving empty-handed.

Likely bitch:The Peanut Gallery

• Roosters in the Henhouse

I believe in superstitions. You can blame my not-at-all-superstitious-knock-on-wood-Irish grandmother. And one I firmly believe is not to let the groom see the dress before the wedding day. However, there are still some brides who bring their husbands-to-be along for the experience. Okay, ladies. I get that you understand that your wedding day isn’t entirely about you. Your fiancé also is the star that day. That’s admirable and very unselfish of you. But let’s be realistic: Your dress is all about you. It’s how you feel wearing it, how you look in it. So, let your husband be surprised and leave him at home during your fitting.

Husbands-to-be aren’t the only roosters. Sometimes, a bride to be will bring in her best guy friend for his opinion. For example, a bride brought her male personal assistant along. And he definitely had a different idea of her ideal dress. Monte ended up being one of the annoying roosters, finding a kindred spirit in this man. They picked out dresses that the bride ended up hating. Eventually, Robin found the perfect dress, gaining the approval of the friend and Monte.

The only acceptable roosters are dads and brothers. Though sometimes they can be a tough audience.

Likely bitch: No one, really.

Not everyone is star-struck when it comes to weddings. And there are times I am not, but I used to work at a church and boy do I have stories. But I can forget about that for the fairy tale and drama of finding the perfect dress. And others can too. Just, give it a try.

And you may fall in love with Lori, Monte, Robin and Flo as well.

“Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta” airs on TLC. Check local listing.