Thursday, April 7, 2011

Crazy for Bitches!

So, no one really voted in my poll. But I talked with a few friends and we think that if he’d been a plant, Ms. J would’ve brought him out to warn about stalkers. Unless there’s a scene sitting on the cutting room floor, James is just a Creeper.

Last week on Top Model: Monique was a bitch. She just stood around the Meet-and-Greet like she was the shit. She sent a creeper to get a kiss from Alexandria, who kissed his cheek. Ms. J chastised her for that and picked friendly Kasia as the winner. She, Brittani and Jaclyn ate with Ms. J while Monique continued to be a bitch. In the battle of the brunettes vs. the blondes, the brunettes won over all but two brunettes—Monique and Mikaela—were sent to the bottom two. In the end, Monique was sent home. Seven girls remain--who won’t be going overseas? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

LA! At night! The girls congratulate Brittani for her best photo call out. She says she’s so glad she wasn’t the runner-up. But she’s still upset that Alexandria wasn’t in the bottom two. She’s waiting for the panel to see Alexandria’s true bitch. Mikaela talks about the surprise of being with Monique in the bottom two and we learn she’s been modeling since she was 15. The girls go home to see presents waiting for them below Brittani’s picture. They read “Warriors in Pink” for Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. Brittani knows people who have fought breast cancer and is excited to do something for a cause.

Alexandria disinfects the bathroom as we get a montage of her bitchy moments. Neither Molly and Brittani want to go into their room as Alexandria sinks into her bath. She confesses she feels attacked and says its fuel for her fire.

The Model Mobile brings the girls to Nigel at Smashbox. He talks about the Warriors in Pink from Susan G. Komen and Ford. You can buy their clothes and all the money goes to the foundation. Nigel says they will have to style themselves and embody their chosen symbol. The winner will be a role model and will be in the print ad  for Warriors in Pink.

Jaclyn (Warrior): Her aunt has it and chooses to be a boxer.

Kasia (Heart): Rocks it.

Brittani (Dove): Nigel asks her about what she’s thinking, she says she doesn’t think, she does. She can’t explain it and isn’t impressing Nigel. That’s the kiss of death.

Nigel with hair?!

Hannah (Spiral):  She does some ribbon dancing. He reminds her to remember her face.

Mikaela (War Paint) Nigel hugs a crying Mikaela, saying her niece doesn’t have one of her grandmothers. Nigel, though, doesn’t get much from her.

Molly (Angel wings): Nigel tells her to be her parents’ friend’s angel. Molly wants to win a challenge.

Alexandria (Tree of Love): She stands in dirt and does some dance moves. Brittani is still annoyed. Nigel thinks it was great.

Nigel tells Mikaela to emote and that Hannah wasn’t that memorable. Nigel calls Brittani out on her statement. Nigel liked Alexandria doing the obvious and connecting with her eyes. The winner is Alexandria and she gets to do a PSA. But he has to get her co-star. Which is a car-2012 Ford Focus. Which is also now Alexandria’s. She starts to cry and she confesses that she’s proved she can make it through. Watch everyone’s bitch-face.

Brittani bitches off stage with Kasia and Molly. With Alexandria sitting right there. She says she can hear Brittani and Brittani just doesn’t care. She accuses of Alexandria of being fake and she accuses Brittani of it. Oh mean, we haven’t had a good bitch fight in CYCLES! And Nigel gets to witness it all.

Uh oh.

Alexandria’s commercial is the first one. It looks pretty good but I think needed a bit more emotion.

We come back to Alexandria saying she loves her prize as she takes pictures with it. Back at the house, the girls decide what to do with Alexandria. Their options are: all-out fight or silent treatment. They go with the silent treatment. She isn’t sure what’s going on.

At 6:45 AM, Ms. J sneaks in to wake up the girls. He/She/It takes the girls to Universal Studios. They even get the VIP treatment. Ms. J says that Psycho terrorized his “black ass” for life. Ms. J gets to get a photo op. The screen turns black and white and Mr. Jay comes out to stab Ms. J. He tells the girls to show him how crazy for fashion they are. He sends them to hair and make up. He says he needs to return Ms. J’s dress (ha!) and put on something else to introduce their photographer. 

And that photographer is Miguel Starcevich! Mr. Jay describe him as “avant-garde” and Miguel tells them to be superstars. Mr. Jay tells them to use the shoot to push through the stress of the competition. Mr. Jay then introduces Eric Daman, the stylist for Gossip Girl. Jaclyn freaks out. Each girl will have a theme that’s basically “Crazy for (insert fashion thing here)”

Molly: Crazy for Accessories. Eric says she has to let the awkwardness go. Mr. Jay loves her body and not her face. Molly thinks she brought too much crazy instead of sexy.

Brittani: Crazy for Shoes. Everyone loves her energy and how she is on set.

Hannah: Crazy for Handbags. Mr. Jay isn’t impressed. Hannah is in a bad commercial. Mr. Jay thinks she left model up in hair and make up.

Jaclyn: Crazy for Makeup. Mr. Jay asks Jaclyn if she’s crazy naturally.

Kasia: Crazy for Hair. Mr. Jay loves that she went out of the box.

Alexandria: Crazy for Fur. Mr. Jay offers to get some of the girls to yell at her, but she says they did that enough. So he gets her to yell instead.

The other girls hear her scream and wish she would go home. But Molly knows how this works.

Mikaela: Crazy for Sales. Mr. Jay isn’t feeling it. He tells her to let the set serve her and not overwhelming her.

That’s a wrap!

The girls talk about the shoot while Mikaela is nervous. Brittani still wants Alexandria to go. She’s scared she’ll flip at panel since she already flipped in front of Nigel. Alexandria says she’ll be there longer than Brittani.

I hope not.

Commercials.

At panel, Tyra says she has weird bra stuff going on. So, she changes outfits. She welcomes the girls. There are prizes. There are judges: Nigel Barker and Andre Leon Talley. The guest judge is Eric Daman. Hannah is first. Andre thinks she was trying to leave after stealing the bags. Tyra says the photograph is fabulous but her film wasn’t. Molly is next. Nigel loves the picture. He loves that she sold the product and her face. Tyra tells her to do it more. Jaclyn is third. Andre calls it gorgeous, mad, comedic, editorial…Nigel compares her to the joker. Tyra loved it. Next is Mikaela. Eric says she had a hard time getting into the shooting. Mikaela thought she went crazy touching everything but Tyra says it wasn’t crazy enough. She wondered if Mikaela understood the assignment.

Kasia is next. Andre calls her a mad socialite. Nigel loves her eyes. Eric thinks she took risks and it worked. Alexandria follows and is applauded for being the challenge winner. Andre thinks it looks wonderful and she works. Eric agrees but Tyra doesn’t. She doesn’t read that it’s crazy. Nigel though brings up Alexandria and Brittani’s fight. Nigel tells Brittani it was unprofessional. Brittani starts crying and Tyra starts talking being a role models. She tells her to shut her lips in front of the clients. Tyra says to respect the client, the coworkers and herself. And Brittani runs off.

We come back to Nigel who says that  this is his favorite cycle. And apparently there is a spoiler room somewhere.

It’s still weird to see him with hair.

Tyra says they will continue. Andre tells Alexandria to buck up. Backstage, Brittani lies on the floor and drinks a jar of water. A producer gets her back to the stage. She admits to having a panic attack. They see her picture and aren’t entirely impressed, though they like her eyes.

The judges deliberate. They like Hannah but want more. Andre loves Molly’s shot. Nigel loves Jaclyn’s shot. Eric does as well. Tyra does crazy eyes as we cut to Kasia’s crazy eyes. Nigel thinks the fox is emoting crazy better than Alexandria. Tyra asks them to rate Brittani as a human. Umm, that’s a bit harsh, Tyra. Anyway, they question Brittani as a person rather than a model. Backstage, Alexandria confronts the other models. It pretty much boils down to everyone hating Alexandria, her telling them she won’t be intimidated and saying she feels like a fool for everything nice she’s ever said about them. Brittani storms out of the room.

We return to panel, where the judges are still deliberating. I half expected Brittani to show up and ask to be released. But instead, it’s the judges arguing amongst themselves. Tyra explains that everyone has some misconceptions about the voting process. She doesn’t have the final say—she has a vote like everyone else. She said the last time she disagreed with the panel like this was when Toccara was cut way back in cycle 4. Nigel agrees that it was a bad decision in hindsight. But the others wish to save Brittani, Tyra disagrees.

Eliminations! The first name is Jaclyn. She is joined by Molly, Hannah, Kasia and Alexandria. That means the bottom two are Brittani and Mikaela. Tyra praises Alexandria for how she handled herself that week. Now to our bottom two. Mikaela: Spectacular face but the eyes are lacking. Brittani: Last week best photo, strong photos but her attitude was unattractive. Who stays? Tyra explains the judging process again. She says she was outvoted and Brittani can stay. She breaks down and apologizes to Mikaela. She tells Brittani to figure out what to do to prove she deserves this.

Tyra hugs Mikaela. She says that Mikaela could wow by the face but the portfolio could hurt her. She says she really wishes Mikaela was standing there.

Mikaela has no hard problems about Brittani staying, accurately saying it was about the photos and she had the weakest. She says she’s happy knowing Tyra supports her.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alexandria
Angelia
Brittani
Dalya
Dominique
Hannah
Jaclyn
Kasia
Mikaela
Molly
Monique
Nicole
Ondrei*
Sara

*Contestant walked away.

I am pleased this cycle decided to highlight breast cancer. Time to get personal: I am at an increased risk to get breast cancer. My grandmother beat it once but is battling it again. My aunt had a surgery to remove suspicious lumps. However, the Susan G. Komen Foundation is known to provide money to Planned Parenthood. As a Catholic, I cannot support any organization that supports abortion. I encourage supporting the American Cancer Society.

Anyway, it’s hard to tell who was the bigger bitch this week: Alexandria or Brittani? I know no one answered my last poll, but I’m going to try again. I'm glad Brittani is sticking around and I hope she can prove to Tyra that she is a good person inside. I know there are some people who just rub each other the wrong way and can bring out the worst in even the kindest, sweetest of people. Now, will they go abroad next episode or will they have to skip an episode as they reached the final six a week before they should’ve with Ondrei’s departure.

Coming up: Go-sees! And garbage!

Quote of the Episode

“I am strong, I am alpha, I am the lioness.”—Alexandria, about the girls’ treatment.

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