Only You...Three

Last week on “Any Dream Will Do”: It was Memorial Day weekend and so BBC-America didn’t air a new episode, opting for “A Fish Called Wanda.” Two weeks ago, Craig was booted off, much to the despair of Number One Fan Bill. Four Josephs remain, who will turn in his coat at the end of tonight’s (not-so) live semi-final? Let’s find out.

Graham suit watch: Purple suit and gold shirt. At least it isn’t purple and green. Ooh, Barney flashbacks. Seriously, John and Denise, jazz hands? Anyway, the Final Four enter to perform “Jacob and Sons/Joseph’s Coat”…Oh, this one again? Look, I’m sorry I thought last time’s arrangement was bad. But you couldn’t have done another song? “Stone the Crows” maybe? Either way, the four boys are spectacular. Look, it’s Antony and Chris B! Hi, boys! Graham reminds us that tonight is the last time Webber can save someone from elimination. He introduces the rest of the panel (John, Jazz Hands, Bill and Zoe). Wait, did the audience just boo Webber? The power cuts out and Webber admits he’d be happy to see any of the remaining four win.

Graham reminds us that Joseph ended up into slavery before turning it over to Keith. He’s thrilled to be in the semi-finals. Ooh, Keith in a loincloth. I still haven’t forgiven the producers for denying us that Joseph mission. Keith performs “Could It Be Magic.” Webber wants Keith to use his eyes and then he and Graham exchange Joe puns. Where are the tomatoes when you need them? Keith has a wonderful voice, especially for someone so young. He goes before the judges and is just happy to be there. He says he wants to hear “Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic” from John. Does a pretty good American accent. John responds with his Welsh accent with “Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.” He says he judges the boys by the goosebumps on Denise’s arms. Okay…Bill loves Keith and how he engages an audience but to work hard on the songs. Denise thinks Keith is fantastic and then discusses her hairy arms. Webber thinks Keith has it and needs only one thing, but he doesn’t say what.

Coming Up: Ben’s shy? What?

Ooh, they are bringing over “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” I didn’t see it, so this will be exciting. And here I was worried about what I would recap now that the regular season is over.

Up next is Ben. He celebrates making it into the semi-final and recalls how close he was to getting eliminated. He has loved entertaining people. We’ve loved being entertained, Ben. He sings “Ease on Down the Road” from The Wiz. I think Webber is remembering Austin’s performance from “Grease: You’re the One That I Want.” And Michael Jackson wasn’t the only one who sang this song, Webber. Now, go apologize to Stephanie Miller. A very upbeat song that allows Ben to be an entertainer, though I don’t think he has the soul needed to fully perform that song—not like Austin, who blew the audience away with his version.

Ben goes in front of the judges and he admits he’s a very shy person. But he knows going on stage is just doing his job. Graham goes to Zoe, who is surprised to hear he is shy. She says he is a showman and a star. BUT…She is not sure he can entertain while just sitting still. Ben admits he’s worried about the pressure and Denise says that there is no more pressure than an opening night. John defends Ben, saying he has the star quality they are looking for. Bill says his gut doesn’t think Ben is Joseph. John puts it into the public’s hands. I love it when the judges fight. Webber wanted easing on down the road.

Coming Up: Can Lewis handle bad reviews?

Graham says the Josephs have been teamed up to sing classic Webber songs. Keith and Ben go up first. We see them meeting Webber to practice their song. He calls Keith a strong singer; Ben is also called a good singer. Ben and Keith talk about Ben’s weak vocals. (Holy crap, who would give Octo-Mom her own show? Oh, good, no network yet). The boys sing “Only You” from “Starlight Express.” You know, for a show about a TRAIN, it has some great songs. I think I’m going to have to make a visit to my favorite supplier for the two singing this song. Now, about the performance, while Keith is clearly the stronger singer, I think Ben is the stronger performer and actor. He steals the song. And they both still look like they could play teenage versions of Jack and Ianto on Torchwood.

Graham says he was hoping for skates. Webber praises both for following his directions. And for Ben playing an older man. Denise is asked who had the advantage. She says her eyes went to Ben, but ear went to Keith. Why does Ben always argue back? Shut. Up. Take the compliments. John agrees with Denise and praises Ben for singing a ballad.

Lewis follows the duet. He is happy to have made the semifinal. Lewis talks about everyone seeing him cry. Oh, yes, we’ve seen you cry. He says he’s going to go for his dream. He performs “Sweet Caroline,” which is already on my iPod. The people I sat with at my cousin’s wedding were impressed my sister and I knew all the words. Okay, everyone, clap along. I don’t know if the tune fits with his vocals. But he can hold a stage. He finishes strong.

Graham says that Lewis’ journey took a toll—they show a picture of Lewis with gray hair. He then reveals that was during the Joseph mission. He’ll be 18 by the final. Graham starts with John, who liked his performance. He still wants to see some fire. He asks if Lewis wants to be Joseph or if he wants the fame. Lewis responds he wants to be Joseph. Bill says it’s about inspiration. And then about growth and then about direction. Point, Bill? Oh, I think it was a thumbs up. Denise follows. She and Zoe agree he has improved and Denise says she saw the fire. Graham pre-empts another judges’ fight by going to Webber. He says he’s worried about if Lewis woke to find horrible reviews. Bill says he’ll get good reviews.

Coming Up: Something goes wrong in Lee’s performance.

Oh, crap. Recapping Maria means another casting episode. Blech, I hate them.

The last Joseph up is Lee. He talks about being an understudy. He wants a part of his own.  *Sighs at own pun.* Aww, he’s crying. He says he’s ready to play Joseph. Lee sings “Living on a Prayer.” Woot! Bon Jovi! I’ve seen them—at Zootopia 2002. Though he had some annoying fans in back of us who started screaming for him…while Celine Dion was still on stage. Anyway, sing it, Lee! Come on, you know the words “We’re halfway there, woo-ooh, living on a prayer…” Wait, where’s the second part about Gina wanting to run away? Is he behind the music? It’s still a great performance. He gets thrown off again but recovers for his big finish. What was up with the song?

Lee says he wants the part. Zoe goes first and asks what happened there. She says its okay for him to be scared and says he covered himself brilliant. But she doesn’t praise the performance. Craig’s Number One Fan mentions his golden boy and then praises Lee, calling him an international star. Webber corrects Zoe’s guess that Lee fell out of step with track and says the band is live. He praises Lee.

Coming Up: Zoe loves the duet.

Graham introduces the next duet, sung by Lewis and Lee. Lewis is worried that singing with Lee isn’t a cursed as in the trio, both Craig and Daniel were voted off. He hopes there isn’t a curse of the Lee, like there is a curse of the coat. They sing a song from “Evita.” They get “O What a Circus.” Ladies and gentlemen, the competition. Both hold their own on the stage and have great vocals. I think, though, that Lee handles the fast part at the end (Sing You Fools) better than Lewis.

Graham asks Webber about the performance. He says that he was impressed by the boys as he swats away a fly. Zoe calls them kicking.

Coming Up: Each guy is Joseph.

Graham cues the “shameless self-marketing” so the boys could get the public’s vote. Lewis is Joseph. Lee is Joseph. Keith is Joseph. Ben is Joseph. Got the picture? Graham talks to the boys as if they were on his talk show. Ben and Lewis talk about being in the sing-offs and being confident. Lee and Keith talk about never being in the sing-off and agree they aren’t in a secure position. The boys get ready for their group number. Appropriately, it’s “Under Pressure.” You know, these boys could be their own boy band…if it were the 90s, when boy bands were cool *Hugs Backstreet Boys poster.*

Coming Up: JOSEPH MISSION!

Graham introduces the Joseph Mission—the boys go to visit the cast of the Lord of the Rings musical. They enter through the stage door and go to wardrobe. James Loye, who plays “Frodo” shows them around. He shows them his dressing room. Ben holds a pair of Hobbit feet and compares them to Keith’s feet. Ben asks one of the actors how they would feel if someone like them, a reality show winner, came into their production. He responds that the person would have to prove themselves. They give Lewis Gandalf’s hair and he says he knows what he’ll look like at 65. He plans on being an elderly hippie?

Not Joseph: Zoe says it’s either Ben or Lewis and chooses Ben. Bill chooses Ben. Denise chooses Lewis. John says his choice is Lewis. Two Bens and Two Lewises.

Coming Up: Elimination.

ELIMINATION! Graham reminds us this is the last time Webber can save a Joseph. Lee could be Joseph and is through to the final. YES! Lewis is in the sing off and goes to stand by Graham. That leaves Ben and Keith. Keith joins Lee in the final, meaning Ben is in the sing off again. Lee and Keith hug. If it were up to the public, Ben would be out. But he could still be saved. They have the boys sing “I Dreamed a Dream.” Good luck. Webber tells the boys to dream big. Oh, this is so hard, they are both good. Oh I do not envy Webber. Good luck, Andrew!

The boys go before Webber. He says that he worked with them both the past week as actors and singers. He says he’s considering that and chooses Lewis. On first watch, I wasn’t sure if it was a wise move seeing how England seemed to be in a grudge match with Webber and Lewis. Upon second viewing, it seems it was the same with Ben. He says he’s had the time of his life on the show. He goes to sing his farewell.

The final three sing “Poor, Poor Joseph” and Ben launches into “Close Every Door.” Lewis and Keith defrock Ben before he runs up the stairs. He sings the last words and cracks. And that’s when I thought, “Yeah, Webber made the right call.”

Still Could Be Joseph: 

Rob

Lee

Chris B

Daniel

Craig

Keith

Seamus

Antony

Lewis

Johndeep

Ben

Chris C

Next week: It’s the (not-so) live final! Who will be Joseph? Lewis? Lee? Keith? Find out!

Quote of the Episode:

“The fate of his musical is in your hand…Is he mad?”—Graham.

Agree with the Final Three? Think that Ben just needed more time like me? Looking forward to the final?