Go, Go Joseph...Right Out the Door

Last week on “Any Dream Will Do”: The (not-so) live shows continued, with the boys showing off their acting skills. Lee, Lewis, Keith and Rob soared to the top of the pack while Ben struggled after landing in the bottom two the week before. He was saved however and Chris B landed in the bottom two with Johndeep. Despite my prayers to the contrary, Johndeep was eliminated. Who doesn’t take another step toward the multicolor coat tonight? Find out!

This week, Graham is wearing a green suit with a pink shirt. I’m a bit scared. He reminds us that TWO Josephs will be kicked off by the end of the show. The final ten come out to sing “Go Go Joseph.” The audience claps along. They end in a V-formation and look like very colorful geese.

As the Josephs scurry off the stage, Graham introduces the judges and of course, Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. Graham notes that last week Chris B got high praise from the panel yet still winded up in the bottom two. Webber is angry at the public for their voting ways. He’s worried that more wrong decisions will come but he’s more worried about the Josephs after helping with them. He calls them wimpy but praises their talent. Graham reminds us that Joseph was a Biblical Gary Stu and tells us that the Josephs will be performing pop songs that show off their ability to command a stage and hold an audience.

Seamus is tired of being reminded he’s old. He says he’ll be performing a Mick Jagger song and he’s ancient! Lewis talks about how famous Nana Jean has become since he made the show. She’s been his campaign manager. We go to commercial…

Coming Up: Seamus’ lack of success puzzles the panel.

Seamus starts the performances with the Rolling Stones “Start Me Up.” He gets to dance with the Josephines. He’s talented and has a good voice, but I don’t know if I would say he has stage presence. Lewis sings “I Saw Her Standing There.” Beatles are always a good bet.  And it lets him dance again. I fell kind of bad for these two—the Josephines are upstaging them stage presence-wise. But Lewis I feel is telling a story with his singing and movements, unlike Seamus who was doing more of a Mick Jagger strut across the stage.

The two are brought before the panel. Seamus got a good luck message from Shaky Stevens, a singer Seamus sang back-up for. Graham throws to Bill, who says he’s impressed but doesn’t think Seamus understands the journey. But he thinks he’ll remain. He calls Lewis a frightening talent and praises him for getting out of the comfort zone. Denise calls Seamus “special” but thinks he’s a bit arrogant. She tells Lewis to stand straight and not to hide his height. Andrew praises the two, wondering why Seamus hasn’t hit stardom yet and telling Lewis to listen to the words.

Coming Up: John and Rob flirt. Knock it off, John.

Graham mentions the Josephs got to go to the Spiderman premiere, a taste of stardom. Antony mentions going from schoolboy to pin-up. Rob’s home town watches him on giant TV screens and root for him. “Can he win it, yes he can!” fans chant. It’s adorable. Rob the Builder is celebrating his 24^th birthday and singing “Pretty Woman.” Rob knows how to connect with the audience, looking at us at certain times as if confiding certain points to us, letting us in on his thoughts. Antony follows with “Patience.” It’s the first slow song on the evening. Antony is very good at acting while singing. Hitting the high notes, not so much. My dad hears it and says “He’s gone. Bad song to pick.”

It’s time for judgment! Graham points out Rob’s family, complete with banners and a cake! John isn’t sure if they are star quality. He calls Rob confident but not sure if the raw talent will hold him together like his brick and mortar. John thinks Antony looks great as does John’s partner (who probably won’t appreciate the flirting with Rob) but doesn’t think his vocal would hold up. Zoé  agrees and Antony’s girlfriend boos the entire time she talks. Zoé ignores her and praises Rob. Webber worries about Rob’s ability to tell a song and mentions Antony’s bad vocal.

Coming Up: Chris B cries.

Graham notes that Chris B has Webber’s support while Ben has the support of the home viewers. Chris B cries about it. More tears are shed here than America’s Next Top Model. Keep going boys, you may past the Elle wannabes from “Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods.” Ben talks about his brutal panel but how amazing he feels that the home viewers voted for him.

Chris B sings “Tell Her About It.” I think Chris has good stage presence, but I don’t think his voice would hold me for an entire show. Especially if he was the lead. I see him right now singing the best friend roles until his voice gets stronger. He’s still young, it can mature—it has the potential. Ben follows with “Life is a Roller Coaster.” You know, I’m starting to think this was the performance that started to warm me up to Ben…Focus, Mr. Cameraman, focus. His vocal is excellent tonight and he commands the stage. Even the panel is bopping along.

Graham throws it to Bill. He praises Chris for putting the disappointment behind him. Bill praises Ben for his stage presence and talent. John follows. He praises Chris for bouncing back but thinks he held back a bit. He says tonight was Ben’s best performance and that he really likes to perform. Webber is worried about putting Chris in a West End theater. But he praises the both.

Coming Up: Lee v. Daniel

Daniel thinks his main competition is Lee while Lee thinks his main competition is Daniel. Amazing! Daniel reveals he’s done understudy work on the West End, so Lee isn’t the only professional in the competition.

Daniel starts the battle with “Lady is a Tramp.” He seems to channel the Rat Pack with he performance. One of my favorites of the evening. Lee sings “I Don’t Want To Talk About It.” Both are from musicals. Hmm…Good lord, I really wish I was a Josephine if I could interact with Lee this way! Kissing, lying my head on his lap…Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Daniel and Lee are serious leading men contenders. Lee’s voice is gorgeous and boy can act!

Daniel and Lee talk about being on the West End and being in the house. Denise feels the way I do. She loved Daniel’s performance. She points out Lee went a little flat but was still a superstar. Bill loved Daniel’s performance and his vocal. Bill looks ready to cry as he lavishes praise on Lee. Graham asks Webber if the guys are right for the role. The teleprompter reminds Webber to thank the band. He loved both boys, especially Lee’s acting.

Coming Up: John wants to smack Keith.

John works with Keith to improve his diction. Keith promises to work hard. Craig agrees he has been holding back because he’s scared. Bill works with Craig. He wants to bust loose. Keith starts with “Crocodile Rock.” So far, good diction. He loses it a bit when he gets into the heavy dancing (for a Joseph show). But I think I have to put Keith’s performance up there with Daniel’s and Lee’s. Craig finishes with “Sign, Sealed and Delivered.” No offense to Craig, all I can think of is how many commercials use this song now. I myself wouldn’t consider this as Craig going big. Denise though is enjoying it so much, John makes sure she doesn’t fall out of her seat!

Keith also thinks Daniel is his main competition. John is happy the boys took his notes. He gives Keith a “fantastic” on diction but says he needs movement work. John thinks Craig is getting out of his shell. Denise agrees with John but doesn’t think Keith needs movement work. Graham goes back to Webber, who is reminded by the teleprompter to thank the Josephines. He loved Keith’s performance. He tells Craig it was a good performance but instructs him to watch it so he can see the Cabaret moves his pulls.

Coming Up: Elimination Round #1.

We come back. Zoé  thinks Keith is her Joseph. Bill thinks his is Lee. Denise and John think theirs is Daniel. But now Graham will reveal who is safe and who isn’t. Chris B, Seamus, Daniel and Keith are all safe. Lewis, Rob and Lee are also safe. Nana Jean goes nuts in the audience. Craig, Ben and Antony are ordered off the stairs. Craig is in the bottom two. Ben thinks his days are numbered, you can tell on his face. But he’s safe. He does a victory jump as Antony realizes he is joining Craig. Antony’s girlfriend looks ready to kill someone. Graham reveals Craig has the lowest votes but Webber could save him. The two sing “Everything I Do.”

Who is the lady sobbing as Antony sings? He sounds a little flat and off-key. Lord, I hope Antony’s girlfriend doesn’t come to beat me up. But Craig is definitely the better of the two.  It’s Webber’s decision now. He saves Craig. Oh Jesus, hide the sharp objects from Antony’s girlfriend! I agree that Antony has a bright future head of him but he’s not ready for eight shows a week…NOW. (Or then).

Antony gets his farewell from the other nine. Amp up his mike, sound guy, the band is playing over him. Ben and Chris B take off his coat. Antony’s family sobs in the audience as he finishes.

Could still be Joseph:

Rob

Lee

Chris B

Daniel

Craig

Keith

Seamus

Antony

Lewis

Johndeep

Ben

Chris C

Coming Up: Another elimination.

Zoé doesn’t think Craig is Joseph. Bill says Rob, which John agrees with. Chris B is Denise’s. Graham goes into elimination mode. Daniel is safe. Keith is also safe. Rob the Builder is safe. Lee is back for me to ogle next week. Nana Jean doesn’t have to hire goons, Lewis is safe as well. Chris B survives as well. He does a victory sprint. Seamus, Craig and Ben are called down. Ben and Craig are feeling déjà vu. However, Ben lands in the sing-off this time. Seamus lands in the sing-off well while Craig hugs him on his way to safety-dom. If it were down to England, Seamus would be packing his bags. The audience gasps. Ben and Seamus perform “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.”

Seamus and Ben have to equally good vocals, though Ben acts the dickens out of his part. Of course, I wonder since I’ve seen this before if that’s tainted my view of Seamus…The two finish with a hug and go before the Lord. Webber is blown away from the sing-off. But he saves Ben, who immediately starts to cry. He parties on stage and gets a Joseph hug. Webber says Ben had the better performance but hopes Seamus goes farther.

The Josephs say farewell. Oh, the thing that taints me comes up at the end of this performance. Ben and Chris B try to take off the coat, but either it gets stuck or something because Seamus ends up throwing it off. And he finishes with “For I have been promised a SHOW of my own.” Umm, cocky much? And a bit disrespectful to Tim Rice.

Could Still Be Joseph:

Rob

Lee

Chris B

Daniel

Craig

Keith

Seamus

Antony

Lewis

Johndeep

Ben

Chris C

Wait…I WAS PROMISED A JOSEPH MISSION! Why didn’t I get to see ten guys in loincloths? Producers?

Next week: It sees we’ll see another Joseph mission, but I think they’re just using the ones from the BBC. Anyway, it’ll be the fourth (not-so) live show!

Quotes of the Episodes:

“He certainly wasn’t afraid to dress up in over the top brightly colored clothes and look like an idiot. I wonder what that must feel like.”—Graham Norton, in his brightly colored outfit.

“It’s Dreamcoats at dawn!”—Graham

So, what do you think of tonight’s double elimination? Think the right people went home? Did Seamus’ final verse turn you off as well?