OUAT: Something There...

Last time on Once’s 1st season: In the aftermath of the storm, Henry’s beloved playground was torn down. Suspicious of Regina’s motives, Emma teemed up with Sidney to find dirt on the mayor. They thought they caught her stealing money to build a mansion for herself in the middle of the woods…but Regina revealed it was really to build a new playground to replace the one that was destroyed. Emma looked ridiculous and Regina looked good, just like she wanted when she had Sidney set Emma up.

We learn that in the Enchanted Forest, Sidney was the genie in the lamp. King Leopold found him and brought him back to his palace. There, the Genie fell in love with the queen and saw how lonely she was, how she was often ignored for Snow White. Regina asked him to kill the king for her so they could be together and the Genie did so. She then revealed it was all a trick and when the Genie used the wish Leopold granted him to wish to be with her always, he got trapped in her mirror. So Sidney is both the Genie of the Lamp and the Magic Mirror!

After Emma’s stunt, Regina banned her from seeing Henry. And it was revealed that August stole the storybook, though not why.

Hmm…

We open in a new place in the Enchanted Forest as several people are gathered around a map. Ogres are invading and the situation looks dire for this town. A young brunette in a familiar gold dress hovers, listening as the men wonder if “he” will come as promised. She tries to assure one of the men, her father, as knocking interrupts their meeting.

(Gee, wonder who this is?)

As everyone tenses up, the doors open to reveal...no one. The Dark One then laughs, sitting in Maurice's seat. He says he’s come to help them as the lord grouses that he’s late. Rumple, though, still offers to give them help. And in return, he wants to keep Lord Maurice’s daughter. I’m sure you can already see where this is going, right?

(The beast?)

His daughter, Belle, steps up and volunteers to go. Lord Maurice and Gaston, her fiancé, are against it. She says this is how she will be able to help their people. Rumple tells her that it will be forever but she still agrees, making a deal with him.

As we all know by now, Rumple is the beast from Beauty and the Beast. Let’s check out the beginnings of Rumbelle, hmm?

The Nine Lives of Christmas

It’s that time of the year again! Yep, it’s time for Hallmark to reveal this year’s ornament and so the Hallmark Channel gets to bust out the Christmas movies for a week, even though we’re all floating in the pool right now.

But I’m going to post some things about the Hallmark Christmas movies to contribute to this week. So put on a Santa hat or reindeer antlers, put on some Christmas music and let’s pretend it’s December!

Ho ho ho SPOILERS!

Crown for Christmas: Hallmark’s Obligatory “Princess for Christmas” Movie

Seriously. Are they required to make one of these every Christmas season? They are going to run out of ways to do this plot.

As we enter Hallmark’s annual “Christmas in July” week, let’s take a look at 2015’s offering.

Watch out for SPOILERS!

Outlander: Dining with the Enemy

Last time on “Outlander:” Jamie found his days jam-packed as he tried to juggle ruining Prince Charles’ cause from the inside and being a prominent Parisian businessman. Claire, though, found herself growing bored of gossiping at Louise’s—even as she discovered that Mary Hawkins was Frank’s ancestor.

However, Claire found a purpose when Master Raymond told her about a hospital in need of help. Murtagh escorted her down there and though Mother Hildegard is a bit suspicious at first, Claire soon won her over. Jamie, though, was less than thrilled about his wife spending all hours at the hospital—especially when he needed her. The meeting between the Minister of Finance and Prince Charles didn’t go as he thought and Jamie learned that Charles had secured a good amount of funding for his cause. He stormed out of the house and went to the brothel.

There, he found a young boy stealing from the patrons. Jamie chased him down and offered him a job. The boy, now named Fergus, agreed and went home with the Frasers. Jamie explained to Claire that Fergus could steal letters from Charles’ supporters so they could learn who the prince’s funders were. She admitted it was a good idea.

One of the letters Fergus took led Jamie to seek the help of Mother Hildegard, a trained musician. He and Claire were then able to discern that the Duke of Sandringham was Prince Charles’ benefactor. And so they plotted to have a dinner, hoping to dissuade the duke and anyone else from supporting the Jacobite cause.

Let’s see how that dinner goes, hmm?

I still really like the credits. Will the French chorus be dropped, though, once they go back to Scotland? Hmm…

We open in Versailles, where Jamie is playing a chess game with Duveney. Claire watches her husband and the Minister asks if they’ve thought of any names. She admits that she was hoping to name the baby after her uncle, Lambert. Jamie shoots it down as too English. He suggests a name that has Claire crinkling her noise in disgust.

(The Frasers...debating baby names)

OUAT: Lost in the Darkness

Yep, since we now know the new recurring characters for Season 6A are Jekyll and Hyde, I’m going to be using songs from the musical as recap titles. Enjoy!

Last time on “Once:” Robin was still dead and the Merry Men took Roland back to the Enchanted Forest. But Regina was off with Emma chasing down Henry, who is trying to destroy magic, so he said his goodbyes to ZELENA. Because that makes sense.

Anyway, Rumple pursued Henry to New York to get the magic back so he could free Belle from Pandora’s box. Regina had some self-realization going on and the other leads got stuck in a world populated by Jekyll and Hyde.

Now onto part II…

Jekyll comes to in a straightjacket and he’s like “Great.” Hyde also left him a note, gloating about besting him. But Jekyll notices the Orderly asleep and manages to relieve him of his keys. Score 1 for Dr. Jekyll.

He returns to the cage and apologizes that he lost the wand. They aren’t thrilled to hear that. But he does tell them he got the key, so he can let them out. He thinks he knows where the Warden hid the wand so he can take them there. Then they can all go to Storybrooke. They bust out.

Jekyll leads them through a market place filled with an array of people. He explains that this is a land of untold stories, a place where all types of characters congregate. Intriguing.

(How many characters can you spot?)

OUAT: Going Rogue

Last time on “Once:” They killed Robin. They killed my ship. And Hades. But above all, they killed Robin and let Sean Maguire go. They. Are. Morons.

Oh, Zelena killed Hades and Zeus brought Hook back to life.

But still, THEY KILLED ROBIN AND OBLITERATED HIS SOUL!

Yes, I’m still PISSED! So there may still be rants ahead. You have been warned.

We open at the repast following Robin’s (sob) funeral. There’s a picture of him in his Enchanted Forest gear which…has to be up there with the random Outlaw Queen screencap had in a picture frame back in Season 4A. Little John, Granny and a few Merry Men toast him along with Roland, who has chocolate milk. Regina sits in a booth, looking lost as the the Charmings approach her. Snow tells her she doesn’t have to go through this alone and Zelena pops up to say she’s going to be there for her sister during this time.

(Even Roland is there, toasting with chocolate milk. I'M NOT OKAY)

Violet is back and she approaches Henry. She tells him that she’s sorry about Robin and then tells him she was worried while he was in the Underworld. He says he was worried too and they have a sweet moment.

I’d appreciate it more if it wasn’t at Robin’s funeral.

OUAT: There is Suffering Too Terrible to Name

That’s right. I’m using Hamilton lyrics. And if you know Hamilton, you know those lyrics are from one of the most heart-breaking songs in the show.

You have been warned.

Last time on “Once:” Hades rescued Zelena from Rumple and Pan and they shared True Love’s Kiss. He took everyone’s names off the tombstones but Hook was still unable to leave the Underworld. Hades told them of a nectar Hook could eat and it would allow him to leave. Emma and Hook headed down to where the tree was while the others waited.

After convincing Robin to let Zelena take his daughter with Hades, he then stood with her and Henry as Henry wrote pages for the denizens of the Underworld. Cruella and the Blind Witch trapped them in the library and the heroes realized Hades was really behind it.

Further down, Emma weighed her heart but it appeared she and Hook did not share True Love. But when each chose the other over saving themselves, a door opened and their love was confirmed to be true. They discovered, though, that the ambrosia tree was cut down and realized Hades did it.

In the past, Emma met a bails bond person named Cleo, who tried to take Emma back to Phoenix. Emma discovered that there might be information about her and her parents so Cleo agreed to take her to the courthouse. Unsatisfied with what she found, Emma broke back in and Cleo had to come after her. They ended up running from the cops and Cleo was fatally wounded in the process. Emma ran off and changed her life, becoming a bails bond person. She also gave some closure to the daughter Cleo gave up for adoption.

As the portal to Storybrooke opened, Emma and Hook came to grips with the fact he could not return home. They had a bittersweet goodbye before Emma returned to help the others bust out of the library. They all made it into the portal as Rumple sent his father to the River o’ Souls, having returned Robin’s heart without Pan knowing.

Brace yourself. This is going to be painful.

And ranty.

OUAT: Weighing Your Heart

Last time on “Once:” Hades proposed to Zelena, offering to leave the heroes in the Underworld while the two of them took over Storybrooke. She didn’t say yes or no, but Regina was concerned. After talking to Zelena did nothing, she called in the big guns—Cora.

Hook helped Regina bust Cora out of her Underworld prison while David ran errands. Along the way, he ran into his twin brother James—who tased him and then pretended to be him. He went with Emma to drop supplies off for Robin Hood, taking Robin and Peanut with Cruella. They wanted to give Hades Peanut for a chance to be alive again.

Cora decided that they needed to give Zelena some water from one of the rivers of the Underworld that would make her forget about her feelings for Hades. So she went to the farmhouse and had a talk with her eldest while Regina waited for the moment to give her the water. But Zelena saw through it and the sisters fought again. Cora stopped them and revealed memories she had stolen from them years ago.

As a child, a lonely Regina used her mother’s wand in an attempt to turn her doll into a sister. She was knocked unconscious, forcing Cora to retrieve Zelena from Oz so she could heal Regina. Regina and Zelena bonded, becoming the best of friends. But when they realized they were sisters, Cora sent Zelena back to Oz and made both girls forget about their bond.

Their memories now restored, Regina and Zelena seemed to have a fresh start. Cora was able to go to the happy place and Regina agreed to let Zelena try to change Hades. Meanwhile, David and Hook came to Emma’s and Robin’s rescue. While Cruella got away, David ended up struggling with James and threw him into the harbor, trapping his twin in the River o’ Souls.

In the end, Regina agreed to let Zelena meet with Hades to try and change him. But Rumple and Peter Pan intercepted and kidnapped her instead.

Out on Main Street, most of the main cast argues about Regina’s choice to let Zelena go to Hades. Hook in particular thinks that the queen has gone mad. Regina insists they give Zelena a chance. They are then surprised and alarmed when Hades shows up. He tells them he is there for their help as Zelena never showed up for their date. Instead, he got a ransom note from Rumple and Peter Pan. While Regina looks ready to strangle the two, Emma asks why they should help Hades. He tells her if she does, he’ll take their names off the graves and let them go home.

(Hades looks as surprised as the heroes)

OUAT: Family Dynamics

Last time on “Once”: Red woke up and informed her friends that she came from Oz to find Zelena because she did something to Dorothy and Red wanted to know what it was. Hades warned Zelena about Red’s appearance and she tried to escape but Regina prevented her. Confronted, Zelena admitted to putting Dorothy under a sleeping curse and handed over her slippers so Red could get back. The only problem was finding someone to give Dorothy True Love’s Kiss.

It was decided to find Auntie Em, who ended up running a diner in the Underworld. She agreed to help but Hades trapped her in the River o’ Souls to prevent her from doing so. He then informed everyone that people who helped the heroes would also be thrown into the River o’ Souls. The heroines were not pleased.

Snow told Red that she should give Dorothy True Love’s Kiss because it was obvious to everyone that she loved Dorothy. So Red prepared to leave and take David with her so he could take care of Neal now that Cruella destroyed their one connection to him. But he got Hook to carve his name over Snow’s, allowing her to leave instead.

Back in Oz, Red and Mulan met Dorothy after Red accidentally scared off Toto. She and Dorothy didn’t get along but were forced to work together when Zelena kidnapped Toto. Red believed she scared Dorothy when she transformed into a wolf to take care of monkey but Dorothy ran off to confront Zelena. The witch used a sleeping curse on her, which Red ultimately broke with True Love’s Kiss as Mulan wondered what she was doing there.

Snow returned to Storybrooke and everyone else grew more resolute in their determination to get out of the Underworld.

A red car speeds along, Hades and Zelena inside of their way to a date. He takes her to a hill overlooking the Underworld’s version of Storybrooke and lays out a picnic for them. Hades asks her why she thought he brought here there and she says it’s her experience that men want one thing. He chuckles but tells her that he brought her up there to ask her something.

Hades reminds her that he made the Underworld to look like Storybrooke because he wanted to give her everything her sister had. But he knows it’s not the same. So if she restarts his heart, they can leave and take over Storybrooke for themselves. Zelena asks about the heroes and he reveals that after Snow’s switcheroo, he carved everyone’s name on the tombstones. So they’ll be trapped in the Underworld, leaving the two of them the freedom to cause chaos together.

Uh oh.

Outlander: Purpose

Last time on “Outlander:” Jamie managed to get a meeting with Prince Charlie. He and Claire realized they had to cut off any chance of him receiving money from the French king. Claire’s friend Louise invited them to join her and ward Mary Hawkins at Versailles, introducing them to the Minister of Finance. After a rather wet start, he became good friends with the Frasers, which was a relief to them.

Claire and Jamie found the Duke of Sandringham, who tried to grovel about giving the letter to Black Jack. He and Claire exchanged words before he introduced her to his secretary, Alexander Randall. She learned he was the brother of Black Jack and also learned that her foe was very much alive.
Now, she has to tell Jamie.

Or does she?

(Yes, yes she does).

Night turns to early morning as Jamie and Murtagh return from another night at the brothel with Prince Charles. He grabs a glass of wine and changes, ready to start a rather busy day. He has inspectors coming to Jared’s warehouse, is supposed to play chess with Duveney and then has another night with Prince Charles to look forward to. But he figures it’s worth a few nights of missed sleep and encourages Claire to go back to bed for their child’s sake.

She, though, is feeling a bit useless while Jamie does all the work. But he says her days with Louise might produce something useful. So he tells her to enjoy her day there as he hurries down the stairs. He pauses but only to ask if she’s seen his wooden snake. She hasn’t but she’ll have the servants do a search of the house. He thanks her and leaves.

(Wishes there was more for her to do)

OUAT: Making Good

I’m running out of Wicked songs to use now! That title is a song that was cut and replaced with “The Wizard and I”! If we see anymore of Oz, I may have to start recycling titles. Or move on to “The Wiz.”

Last time on “Once”: Belle ran into her former fiancé, Gaston, in the Underworld. And he was out for Rumple’s head, spurned on by Hades. Belle, though, was trying to get Rumple to use his magic for good and decided to help Gaston with his unfinished business…which turned out to be her. He blamed her for making him weak and leaving him vulnerable to Rumple. When he tried to attack Rumple, Belle ended up pushing Gaston into the River o’Souls. Hades had made Belle a deal but voided it because she didn’t follow it to the letter. So her baby was still in danger.

After a failed attempt at breaking into Hades’ lair, Emma went to the cemetery with Hook and Snow because a dream told her to. But the dream also warned her of her mother dying and she worked hard to prevent that from happening. Especially because she felt guilty for getting everyone in this situation. After she was assured she had nothing to feel guilty for, Regina joined them to seek out the creature that had ended up pursuing them. It ended up being a wolf…who Snow lays a cape over it to turn it back into Red!

Why is she there? Is she dead? Let’s find out!

We open in Oz…some time ago. This scene was one of the sneak peeks posted by ABC during the week and it original said “Many years ago,” which had confused fans since Red and Mulan were in it. By their reckoning, it should be part of the current timeline. Adam confirmed on Twitter that they were right and that ABC had screwed up the graph. Looks like he got to someone in editing in time to correct it.

Red and Mulan walk down a deserted road as Red tries to sniff out her pack. Mulan asks her about this land and Red says there’s some singing, or at least there was in the movie. We know Storybrooke showed it since everyone was familiar with it back in Season 3B. Red also points out it was a book and all I could think of was “Samantha: An American Girl” where Rebecca Mader played Aunt Cornelia, who gave Samantha “The Wizard of Oz” as a gift.

(Welcome back, you two!)

Outlander: A Glitzier Snake Pit

Last time on “Outlander”: Claire found herself in 1948 and she reunited with Frank. She connected better with Mrs. Graham while Frank tried to figure out what happened to his wife. Claire told him everything and he was pretty chill about it…until she revealed she was carrying Jamie’s baby. But after waging destruction on Wakefield’s shed that would make the Hulk proud and a conversation with Wakefield, Frank decided to commit to Claire and raise the child together. They went to Boston to start over.

In France, Claire and Jamie decided to infiltrate the Jacobite cause in order to prevent the destruction it will cause. Jamie convinced his cousin Jared of his supposed dedication and Jared promised to help. He asked Jamie to help run his wine importing business, which Jamie agreed to do.

On the docks, Claire diagnosed a dying sailor with smallpox. The harbormaster had to declare a ship infected and ordered it—and its cargo—burned. Its own, the Comte St. Germaine, warned Claire and Jamie that they had made a dangerous enemy.

Uh oh.

We open with a sex scene. Ahh, welcome back, Outlander. Jamie and Claire have sex…but then it turns into Black Jack. Jamie freaks out and stabs him, blood going everywhere. Outlander really is back! Anyway, even though it appears Black Jack is dead, he opens his eyes and is like “Never gonna die!”

Jamie sits up, panting. Claire wakes up and asks if he had another nightmare. He tells her he did and she assures him that Black Jack is dead. But Jamie knows he won’t be getting anymore sleep. So he slips from bed and tells her to go back to sleep.

(Poor bby)

Zootopia: A Buddy Cop Film with Animals

When I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens, a scene from this film was played among the coming attractions. It was well-received and the entire theater was laughing. I knew it would be a big hit.
I was right.

For my birthday, I went on a Disney Cruise. And as is customary, Disney was playing its latest movies in the theaters. My parents finally got to see Star Wars and then on my birthday, we all went to see Zootopia in 3-D in the Walt Disney Theater.

And it was amazing.

Beware SPOILERS!

We are introduced to the set up of Zootopia via a school play. Long ago, animals were divided into predator and prey. But over centuries, they evolved until they were bipedal and could talk. Predators suppressed their savage instincts and began to live peacefully with predators. And the crown jewel of their civilization is Zootopia, a place where animals can be whatever they want.

And Judy Hopps (Della Saba) wants to be the first rabbit police officer.

OUAT: Nobody Seeks Revenge Like Gaston

Last time on “Once:” Rumple opened a portal for Hades to bring Peanut to the Underworld. It also brought Belle and a newly returned Zelena, who believed Hades wanted her daughter for the time travel spell she created back in Season 3. She pleaded with Belle to let her protect Peanut but Belle decided not to trust Zelena. So Zelena was forced to turn to Regina and Robin, who convinced Belle to give them Peanut. But they made the wrong decision to trust Zelena, who ran off with the baby.

Belle, meanwhile, learned she was pregnant…and that Rumple already gave it away centuries ago in a deal. She also learnt that he was the Dark One again and she ran off, unable to process everything.

In Oz, Hades sought out Zelena because he heard about her attempts to make a time travel spell. She tried to take the Scarecrow’s brain but a grown up Dorothy stopped her. Hades explained that he could lead Zelena to the Scarecrow and wanted to use her time travel spell to get revenge on Zeus, who stopped his heart until he received True Love’s Kiss. Which he figured was never going to happen. Feeling a connection with him, Zelena agreed to let him help. Together, they found the Scarecrow and Zelena took his brain. When she returned to her throne room, Hades revealed that he believed Zelena was his True Love and prepared to get a TLK from her. But she turned on him, thinking he wanted the time travel spell for himself. Hades went back to the Underworld and Zelena continued with her spell.

Afraid Hades wanted her daughter to enact the time travel spell, Zelena gave Peanut back to Robin for her own protection. Robin decided to go hide in the woods with her. Snow and Charming learned the message they sent their son made it and they grew more determined to get home.

Hades met with Zelena and assured her that he didn’t intend to hurt Peanut. He was trying to get her for Zelena because he still loved her. Zelena, though, wasn’t sure if he was playing her and so left him once again.

And now for tonight’s episode of “As the Underworld Turns”…

We open in the Enchanted Forest. Lord Maurice is back and trying to track down his daughter. Belle is in the stables and not even Regina’s riding coat can hide the fact Emilie de Ravin is heavily pregnant. But we’ll ignore that for now.

Outlander: Welcome Back!

Since I haven’t really recapped the last two episodes of season 1…mostly because I’m still forcing myself to watch them…I’ll skip the “Last time on Outlander” for this recap.

We open with Claire on the ground, wishing she were dead. She sits up and finds herself in the stone circle of Craig na Dun and rages against them.

(Poor Claire)

Next, she wonders onto a road and is surprised when a car honks at her. The driver gets out and asks if she’s okay. She asks what year it is and he replies it’s 1948. Claire then demands to know who won the Battle of Culloden. He is now certain she is mad and doesn’t answer. Claire almost assaults him but he finally answers that the British won. Distraught, Claire collapses to the ground and wails. 

(Only about five minutes in and we're already in so much pain)

Frank hurries down a hospital corridor and asks to see Claire Randall. A nurse brings him to a doctor, who explains that Claire is physically fine. She was a bit dehydrated and had some cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. He says they did have to sedate her and she’s not really talking. Frank thanks the doctor and enters her room as a radio plays. 

She asks him to turn it off, though she doesn’t realize it’s Frank yet. He does so as she comments about how loud it is there. At that point, she realizes it’s Frank in her room and she grows awkward. All she can say is “I’m back.”

OUAT: Wonderful

Last time on “Once:” Emma met Liam, Hook’s deceased older brother. He didn’t think she was good enough for Hook, which bothered her. Hook, meanwhile, believed Liam didn’t belong in the Underworld and together they were going to figure out how to defeat Hades. Henry had met the Apprentice and figured there was a storybook in the Sorcerer’s mansion. Meanwhile, Liam asked Emma to let Hook move on as Hook wondered if he was worth saving.

As they searched for the book, Hades paid Liam a visit and asked him to remove the pages pertaining to the god. He threatened to reveal the reason why Liam was in the Underworld to Killian and it worked. Liam removed the pages but Emma suspected him. When she told Hook of her suspicions, though, he took Liam’s side and stormed off.

In the past, Liam went to enlist so he could save himself and Killian from their time on Captain Silver’s ship. But when Silver got Killian drunk and tricked him into gambling away his money, Liam’s dreams of serving in the navy were dashed. They continued to sail with Silver until he took the crew on a suicidal mission to retrieve the Eye of the Storm. Liam and Killian led a mutiny and succeeded. But Hades made a deal with Liam and he lied, keeping them on their suicidal mission. In the end, only Liam and Killian made it out alive…but with the jewel. They were rescued by the royal navy of…wherever…and were given commissions on the spot.

Killian learned the truth as Silver and his crew took Liam. Hades taunted the Brothers Jones and Liam almost fell to his death. But when he sacrificed himself for Killian, he earned his place in the Happy Place. It also worked for the sailors he sacrificed, so after a goodbye to Killian—who decided to stay—they headed off to Happy Place.

Hook went back with Emma, determined to learn Hades’ secret and go home with Emma. Meanwhile, we learnt that the pages Liam ripped out featured Hades with Zelena!

dun dun DUN!

OUAT: Brotherly Love

Last time on “Once:” Rumpelstiltskin recruited his ex-wife and Hook’s former lover, Milah, to help him and Emma rescue Hook. It worked but Hades made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, who ended up killing Milah again and lying about it. Typical Rumple.

Regina went searching for Daniel’s grave and found that he moved on. She also had some closure with her horse.

In the past, Bae suffered a snakebite that was poisonous. But the antidote was too expensive for his parents. Milah convinced Rumple to kill the healer and steal it. While she was flirting with Hook, he tried to do so but instead made a deal with the healer for it. He agreed to give the healer his second born child, much to Milah’s horror. Rumple failed to see the problem.

Until he thought about having children with Cora. He killed the healer but it seemed the deal didn’t die, especially in the Underworld. Hades had the contract Rumple signed and he revealed that Belle was pregnant. And Rumple was going to do what he wanted or Hades would take his child.

Uh oh.

Henry needs an adult. He’s in Cruella’s car as she speeds through the woods in the Underworld. She’s certain they can find someone who can lead them to the pen there and stops, letting Henry so they can search. 

(This is a dangerous situation)

OUAT: In Which Rumple is a Colossal Jerk

Last time on “Once:” Hook tried to outrun Cerberus and failed, but managed to get Megara out. She got his message to Emma and the others but now the Cerberus was after them. Mary Margaret realized an old friend of hers was in the Underworld and she asked him for help, figuring he could help them find Hook while getting a chance to move on. This friend? Hercules!

We learned that Hercules befriended a young Snow when she was struggling with how to be a ruler. He taught her archery and how to stand up to bandits being paid by Regina to terrorize the countryside. In the end, the people loved Snow White and she kissed Hercules before he continued with his tasks to join Mt. Olympus.

(No one tell David)

Robin and Henry broke into Cora’s office to try and get some maps. Robin stood guard while Henry crawled through the air duct, coming across Cruella. She told him that his pen is down in the Underworld and he could use it to help the souls finish their business and move on. Henry left the office, keeping his encounter with the psychopath a secret.

Regina gave Mary Margaret a pep talk, which led to Mary Margaret giving Hercules a pep talk. As the Cerberus attacked again, she teamed up with Hercules and Megara to finally defeat it. Hercules and Meg clicked and went off to Mt. Olympus together. Mary Margaret decided to be Snow White full time again.

Hades ordered Hook to pick three of his friends to stay in the Underworld to replace the souls they had helped escape.

We open there, with Hades waiting for Hook to chisel names into the tombstones. But Hook drops it and says he won’t do that. So Hades hauls him over to the green river filled with souls we all remember from he movie. He warns Hook not to touch it or his soul will be trapped there forever and says they’re going for a little boat ride.

(That's definitely not It's a Small World)

Outlander: Sing For Your Supper

I know, I know. It’s almost a year later. I will admit to being a coward. I’ve read the book so I know what’s coming. Reading it was bad enough so I’ve been afraid of actually watching it. But with Season 2 starting on April 9th (set reminders now!), I knew I had to watch the episodes. Thankfully, Starz made the episodes available online so I’ll finally catch up on the final 3.

Wish me luck.

Last time on “Outlander:” The Watch descended on Lallybroch, leaving Jenny and Ian to host them while trying to hide who Jamie really was. Someone did figure it out, forcing Jamie and Ian to deal with him. The Leader of the Watch then asked them for help dealing with some British soldiers and despite the danger, they agreed.

Meanwhile, Jenny went into labor and had complications. When the midwife was unable to get there, it fell to Claire to help her sister-in-law. Claire managed to turn the baby so it wasn’t breached and then helped Jenny deliver her baby girl.

A few days later, Ian limped home without his leg…and without Jamie. He announced that the British attacked the Watch and captured Jamie.

Uh oh.

There is chaos in Lallybroch. Baby Maggie is crying, Jenny is barking orders and Ian is sulking on the couch. Claire comes down and Ian asks her if she’s going after Jamie. She says she is and so he tries to get up, insisting he’ll go with her. Claire points out he doesn’t have a leg but he says he’ll make one right quick. She shakes her head and tells him to stay put to recover. Ian sighs and asks for paper instead. So he orders all the tenants to be rounded up to form a search party. Claire and Jenny squash that as well, not wanting Lallybroch to become a target. Ian then asks for paper, saying he can at least draw her a map.

("Fine, fine. I give")

OUAT: Go the Distance

Last time on “Once:” It was Once’s 100th episode! Most of the leads arrived in the Underworld, searching for Hook. Regina ended up reuniting with her mother, who warned her to leave the Underworld or something terrible would happen to her father. Gold reunited with his father and got the Draught of Sinead so Emma could talk to Emma. It didn’t work but she glimpsed a battered and bloody Hook. Regina also used the draught to talk to her father, who told her to stay and help her friends. He forgave her for killing him, giving Regina some closure.

In the Enchanted Forest, Regina celebrated her birthday by almost killing Snow White. Henry Sr. tried to convince her to let the vengeance plot go but she refused. He contacted Cora, who came and took Snow’s heart as a present for her daughter. But Henry ended up switching the hearts, so Snow got to live. Regina punished him by putting him in a box before banishing her mother once again. But Cora took the box with Henry in it from Regina before she returned to Wonderland.

With Regina remaining in the Underworld, she had to stop her mother from hurting Henry, Sr. Regina and Henry stood up to Cora and the fire receded, letting him cross over into a better place. He first got to meet his grandson and say goodbye to his daughter before leaving the Underworld.

Henry dubbed their quest Operation Firebird and the heroes continued their quest to save Hook.
We open with Hook. He’s still bloody and battered, awaking in some sort of prison. Hook decides to try to leave but a scared young woman warns him not to. She says they all end up back in the cells and that they can’t escape. Hook tells her that someone is there for him and he’s going to find her. He takes the young woman, insisting they will escape together.

Hook and the woman start running as they hear growls behind them. It soon becomes clear that they won’t be able to outrun whatever is pursuing them. But Hook can give the woman a chance to get out. He tells her to find Emma Swan and tell her that she knows where Killian Jones—Captain Hook—is. The woman nods and Hook takes a stand as Cerberus, the three-headed hellhound, emerges from the shadows.

(Creepy)

OUAT: Hellbound

Last time on “Once:” The Ringwraith Convention haunted Storybrooke as our heroes tried to find Captain Hook. They learned that he intended to send them to the Underworld, allowing the Ringwraith Convention to come back to life as Dark Ones. Regina tried to reason with him while Emma prepared to sacrifice herself to save everyone.

Meanwhile, Zelena was going to use the fact everyone was about to go to hell as a way to get sole custody of Peanut. Robin and Regina worked together and Regina banished Zelena back to Oz.

In the flashbacks, the Evil Queen tested Hook by insisting that he kill the father who abandoned him as a child. Hook and Papa Jones had a heart-to-heart where Papa Jones insisted he’s changed. So Hook decided to fake Papa Jones’ death, and to squirrel him and the son Papa Jones now has out of the country. But when Hook learned that his new brother shares the same name as his late brother, he saw red and killed Papa Jones.

Back in Storybrooke, the heroes prepared to go to hell. Gold sent Belle on a world adventure, the Charmings had one more family dinner and Outlaw Queen actually made provisions for their children. Emma tried to talk sense into Hook and he it worked. He took in all the darkness and asked Emma to kill him with Excalibur. She did so, freeing herself from being the Dark One.

When Emma discovered that Gold was the Dark One again, she blackmailed him into taking her to the Underworld so she could rescue Hook. Everyone else decided to come along for the ride because their names are in the credits.

Which brings us to now…

OUAT: Be Careful What You Wish For

Last time on my Season 1 OUAT watch: Mary Margaret and David were drawn to each other but couldn’t be together because of Kathryn. As a storm approached Storybrooke, Mary Margaret ended up discovering that Kathryn might be pregnant. Emma and August shared a conversation and maybe flirted a little. Meanwhile, Mary Margaret was determined to return a bird to its flock and ended up in danger. David rescued her and they had another moment. When it turned out Kathryn wasn’t pregnant and Mary Margaret tried to move on, David though gave in and they shared a kiss.

In the Enchanted Forest, Snow dealt with the fact that Charming was to marry Princess Abigail. She made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to get a potion that will stop her from loving him. Charming decided that he loves Snow and sent her a letter to see if she felt the same. She put the potion aside and went to see Charming, getting captured in the process. Snow met Grumpy in the dungeons and they were busted out by Stealthy, who was killed during the escape. King George found Snow and threatened to kill Charming if she didn’t break his heart. She did so and was taken in by the dwarfs.

When Grumpy announced that Charming wasn’t getting married after all, she didn’t react. He realized she took the potion after all.

Uh oh.

The storm has claimed a victim in Storybrooke—Henry’s beloved castle playground. He and Emma meet there to take in the ruins of their secret meeting spot. But Henry is worried about the book, which he keeps hidden from his mother there. He checks it, relieved to find it there.

(Aww. The poor playground!)

Galavant: Curtain Call

Last time on “Galavant:” Chef and Gwynne found themselves in the center of the battle as the armies of Valencia and Hortensia converged right where they had settled after leaving the palace. Galavant and Richard arrived with their zombie army, allowing them to reunite with Isabella and Gareth. Madalena betrayed Gareth by using her magical powers to turn the battle to her favor. As most of the main cast sought refuge in Hortensia’s courtyard, Madalena made them one last offer. When they turned it down, she faced Gareth’s betrayal and left to finish the battle.

Who wins? Who loses? Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

(Sorry. I haven’t been able to stop listening to the Hamilton cast recording).

But before we begin, I just learned that Joshua Sasse and Kylie Minogue (the Evil Queen back in Episode 1) are engaged! I’m not sure if they met on set or before that, but it’s kinda sweet. So congrats you two!

Back to our story…

We start in the past with a young Richard and a young Gareth. He goes to play with the kids his parents paid to be his friends. I know I was trying to spot young Roberta but I don’t think they had her, which is a total missed opportunity. Because I’m pretty sure she liked him even then and probably was a true friend to Richard, like Gareth. Come on, show!

Anyway, Richard realizes that everyone is just praising him because they’re scared of Gareth, not because of anything he really does. He wonders if he’ll ever make something of himself and sings about it. Older Richard comes in to sing a duet and reveal that, no, they don’t really make anything of themselves. But he can alongside Galavant.

(Richard and his inner child have a depressing realization)

The song is interrupted as the others remind him they are in the middle of a battle and have zombies trying to break down the gates. He’s like “But I was communing with my inner child.” They tell him to knock it off and focus on trying not to die.

Galavant: Rally!

Last time on “Galavant”: Madalena sold her soul in order to get the dark powers of D’Dew from Wormwood, despite the fact Gareth didn’t want her too. Isabella tried to rally her troops. Galavant realized his zombie army responded to true love. Richard and Roberta finally got together but broke up when Richard insisted on fighting with Galavant. She knew he wouldn’t survive and decided to go live on Spinster Island.

Time for the exciting conclusion!

Hey, remember the Mightiest Earworm to Ever Try and Take On “It’s A Small World”? You know, the song that opened Galavant that you were humming until ABC killed it by using it for several commercials?

It’s back.

The Jester recaps everything using the song that opened the show and, to be honest, it’s now a very nice callback. He finishes, standing between the forces of Hortensia and Valencia as they applaud. Madalena and Gareth express their appreciation for the Jester’s voice yet again.

(All hail the Jester)

Galavant: Off to War

Last time on “Galavant:” Though he was rushed to greatest healer in the land, Neo of Sporin, Galavant died. But Richard was able to provide an ingredient for a potion that could bring the man back to life. While dead, Galavant learned about the impending battle between Isabella and Madalena. He also learned that Isabella thought he hated her. Determined to right everything, Galavant returned to life…just as Roberta and Richard were going to kiss.

Wormwood helped Gareth and Madalena plan their war and wondered if a wedding was also in their future. This freaked Madalena out but in the end, she and Gareth agreed they were in love and would proceed from there. They rallied their troops and headed out to Hortensia.

Isabella ended up being the one to lead Hortensia into battle and she was distraught to see she had barely anything to work with. But she remained determined as she prepared to go out to war.

Neo of Sporin provided an army when he revealed he had a bunch of zombies wandering around his abode. So Galavant led them out to save Isabella.

Will he succeed? Let’s find out!

The zombie army marches on with Galavant at the helm. Sid is still feeling guilty about his part in killing Galavant and not even Galavant himself can help him forgive himself. As they break for the night, Richard and Roberta decide to pick up where they left off in Neo’s lair—it’s time for their kiss. And maybe more.

Go, Richard. And go, Roberta. You’ve waited long enough for this!

(Sorry there wasn't a better shot. It was night time)

Galavant: Welcome to Purgatory

Last time on “Galavant:” After wandering the woods, the main trio came upon the lands belonging to Galavant’s father. He wanted to keep going but was outvoted. He learnt his father was taking in young boys and training them to be knights. Galavant and his father made up and it was sweet.
Isabella returned to Hortensia, rescued her parents from the dungeons, threw out Wormwood and finally got Harry to call off the arranged marriage.

Sid escaped Valencia and ran into Wormwood. He found out what happened between Isabella and Galavant and set out to right things. Wormwood went to offer a war to Madalena and Gareth.
When Sid found Galavant, he tried to give Galavant a sword. It ended up in his stomach.

Oops.

(Sign post)

Sid, Richard and Roberta rush Galavant to the greatest healer in the land—Neo of Sporin. (Get it?). When they get there, Neo sings about how he can save everybody instead of, you know, healing Galavant. So by the time the song is over, Galavant is dead.

Uh oh.

Galavant: Daddy Issues!

Last time on “Galavant:” Galavant and Richard fought. Again. They ended up on opposite sides of a feud between giants and dwarfs, who were fighting over a bridge. In the end, Bobbi made everyone see commonsense. The dwarfs and giants made up while the other three rode out to Hortensia.

Wormwood continued to exert power of Isabella using the magical tiara, even having her send her parents to the dungeon. He made a mistake, though, when he sent Isabella to see why Princess Jubilee didn’t RSVP. During the rough-and-tumbled Jubilee’s number about being a rebel, the crown was knocked off and Isabella was freed from his grasp. And boy was she pissed.

Meanwhile, Gareth confided in Sid that he was starting to fall for Madalena. Sid tried to talk Gareth out of it but Gareth just told Madalena all the bad things Sid said about her. So Sid had to run for his life.

Sid takes refuge out with the peasants of Valencia. However, Madalena has already had wanted posters printed up and the people want to turn Sid in. He pleads with them not to and reminds them that they are victims of Madalena and Gareth as well. He rallies the people to the side and they prepare to storm the palace. Sid even carries a red flag, which I like to believe was a shout out to Les Miserables.

(Do you hear the people sing?)

Unfortunately, it was all a ruse. The people run off once Sid’s in the courtyard, pretty much leaving him gift wrapped for Madalena and Gareth. He realizes he’s screwed.

The Red Dress: A Psychological Thriller

I know, I know. I said I would give Sean Maguire a break. But LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) aired this movie on Sunday, January 24th, and of course I watched it, despite some hesitation because I know the fair LMN airs. So, how was it? Let’s take a look.

Beware sneaky husbands, supposed friends and SPOILERS!

Galavant: There Aren't Giants in the Sky

Last time on “Galavant:” Richard continued to make trouble for Galavant and learned that Roberta was a childhood friend of his. When Galavant learnt this, he plotted to get the two together in hopes that Richard would then focus on Roberta rather than him. Dinner, though, was disastrous and it didn’t seem to work on Richard. Roberta, however, did fall for Richard. Or rather, she was already falling and realized that he was dense.

Or agreed with my theory that Richard is gay and in love with Galavant.

Madalena was invited two a roast held by two powerful queens and was horrified to learn that she was the one being roasted. She then walked home and when Gareth learned of her humiliation, he exacted revenge. Touched, Madalena and Gareth realized they might have deeper feelings for the other.

Isabella was still happily making wedding plans but Gwynne was having a hard time adjusting to life in the palace. So she and Chef left.

Aww.

Richard wakes Galavant to introduce his friend to Tad Cooper, his lizard. I’m sorry, his dragon. Galavant tries to get the king to see reason and that Tad Cooper is probably an iguana. But definitely not a lizard. In the end, he loses his cool and unleashes on Richard once again. This time, Richard takes Tad Cooper and goes off to sing a sad song. It ends with him being captured.

(Is there a problem?)

OUAT: Season 5A Wrap Up

So, the first half of season 5 is over. How was it?

Overall, not bad. There were many good episodes in fact. But at the same time, it was a bit of a letdown. I don’t think this storyline fit the half-season arcs they’ve been doing. The Dark Swan deserved a full season.

Why? Let’s count the ways:

Character development

We got a lot of character development…for Hook. Over eleven episodes, he fought for Emma and then had to fight for his very soul. He sunk to his darkest as the Dark One and nearly did in every hero on the show. But then his love for Emma and his desire to be a better man for her won out. He sacrificed himself for her and her family, dying a hero.

Galavant: Poor Bobbi

Last time on “Galavant:” Richard discovered his palace had been taken by his subjects and turned into a new town. He also discovered that they realized they didn’t need him and now had a democracy. Richard tried to figure out his new place in his kingdom while Galavant tried to drum up support to raise an army to rescue Isabella. In the end, the people decided not to do so but one woman, Roberta, agreed to go after Richard’s impassioned plea on Galavant’s behalf.

In Valencia, Gareth was being plagued with nightmares starring Richard. Sid got him to realize he was feeling guilty over his betrayal of his king and friend. He then helped Gareth (and Madalena) finally get some rest.

Isabella moped about after Galavant’s (supposed) diss. Her parents hired a wedding planner and Isabella agreed to plan it. The wedding planner, Wormwood, had evil purposes and took control of her with a magic crown. His goal? To take over the kingdom. He’s evil.

Will the others’ suspicions be enough to stop him in time?


Galavant and Richard are in tense negotiations. Things seem to be going well…until Richard opens his mouth. He ends up causing a fight that Galavant and Roberta have to end. Good thing this democratic/communist community believes in teaching the women to fight as well! In the middle of the fight, Richard realizes that he knows Roberta. He goes to tell Galavant that she used to be one of the children his parents paid to play with him and marvels at the fact they’ve been reunited. Galavant, though, is more focused on not dying. They manage to get away and flee into the woods.

(Now's not the time, Richard!)

Galavant: Democracy!

Last time on “Galavant:” Galavant and Isabella worried that their one kiss wasn’t all that great and maybe their romance wasn’t as strong as they believed it to be. When Galavant found a way to talk to Isabella, everything went wrong and she ended up brokenhearted. Richard, meanwhile, learned of Gareth’s betrayal and was brokenhearted. But they pressed on to Richard’s castle…only to find it gone. Meanwhile, Isabella returned to her room and agreed to marry Harry—unaware Galavant was coming to get her.

Meanwhile, Gareth and Madalena argued about how he decorated the throne room and about their differences in general. They agreed they both hate Sid and went from there.

Also, I came to the realization that Richard is gay and in love with Galavant. And I ship it.

Send help. I have way too many ships in my armada as it is.

Anyway, Richard is miffed that his palace is gone. So naturally, he wants to go find it. And Galavant goes along in hopes of getting Richard’s army so he can storm Harry’s kingdom and rescue Isabella.

They come across a village and Richard says there seems to be something very familiar about it. He hails a peasant, played by Matt Lucas. The peasant is very excited to see Galavant and less so to see Richard. But Richard ignores that to focus on one thing: What the hell happened to his palace? Turns out the reason the village looks so familiar—it is the palace.

Galavant: Can You Hear Me Now?

Last time on “Galavant:” The entire cast, crew and creative team were surprised they got a second season and the cast sang about it. After the song, the Good Pirate Bonneville’s ship was destroyed when Richard chose the wrong spot to land. The pirates sent him and Galavant on their way and they stopped at the Enchanted Forest, where Kylie Minogue made a shirtless Galavant perform and Richard serve drinks. But Richard’s Uncle Keith broke them out and they continued on their way.

In Harry’s kingdom, everyone but Isabella enjoyed freedom and good life. She was still trapped in her “room,” waiting to marry her young cousin. Meanwhile, Sid ended up working for Gareth when he was employed to help Gareth get the recognition he deserved from Madalena: King of Valencia.

Also, John Stamos briefly returned as Sir Jean Hamm. It was blink and you might miss him.

Moving on, we’re back to square one with Galavant and Richard. Namely, the king is annoying the knight with his all his incessant whining. Richard plops down on a log and needs a rest, while Galavant once again tries not to strangle him. Galavant then apologizes and admits he’s missing Isabella. Richard points out that they only shared one kiss and it wasn’t even a good one. Galavant argues that…until he starts to reconsider everything.

Galavant Season 2: Electric Boogaloo

When last we left this musical comedy, our characters were separated. Madalena was still in Valencia, ruling with Gareth, as Sid languishes in their dungeons. Chef, Gwynne, Jester and Isabella’s parents are in Prince Harry’s kingdom while Isabella stays locked up, awaiting to marry her very young cousin. Galavant and Richard went off with the Good Pirate Bonneville’s crew, escaping Valencia to head back to Richard’s kingdom.

Time for the season 2 premiere, titled “A New Season or Suck It Cancellation Bear.” Awesome.

We open on the ship of the Good Pirate Bonneville as Galavant and Richard moan about how long they’ve been at sea. Pretty much all year, since it’s been a year since the first season of Galavant. To cheer himself up, Richard asks Galavant to sing his theme song again. He starts but the pirates stop him. Apparently he’s been singing it a lot and they are sick of it. Six of them walked the plank voluntarily last week! They say it’s a new season so it’s time for a new song.

(Welcome back, you two!)

OUAT: Sacrifice

Last time on “Once:” Everyone had to figure out what Dark!Hook is doing while Emma struggled with the ramifications of what she’s done. She had alienated herself from her family and had to figure out a way to earn their trust again. Henry was her best hope and he came through, helping her get the dreamcatchers back.

Hook challenged Gold to a duel and he accepted. Though Belle was concerned, Gold said he needed to do it to be a better man. To stop being a coward. He asked Belle to meet him by where they got married after the duel, which she did once Gold got the upper hand against Hook. Belle though didn’t want to get back together with Gold yet. She wanted time to figure things out by herself, breaking 
Gold’s heart.

Robin and Regina agreed to let Zelena hold Peanut and visit her, despite their best intentions and the audience screaming at them not to.

Back in the Enchanted Fores/Camelot, Hook did not react well to becoming a Dark One. Emma, though, managed to get him to believe in her and agree to work to get rid of the darkness. But once he was back with Merlin, he crushed the wizard’s heart in order to enact a Dark Curse. So Emma erased everyone’s memory including Hook so that no one knew he was a Dark One—including himself.

At the end, Hook used Gold’s blood to open the portal to the Underworld. Nimue led the other Dark Ones back to Storybrooke as she and Hook prepared for the next step in their plan.

Looks like I get to use this gif again:

OUAT: Dark Hook May Be the Worse Villain Yet

Last time on “Once:” We took a side trip to Dun Broch for a little trip with Merida, Mulan and Red that really had no bearing on the current plot and killed the momentum.

Last time on the other episode of “Once:” Emma rescues Merlin from Arthur’s control when he and Zelena make the miscalculated step of threatening her loved ones. Hook’s belief in them and their future helps her light the Flame of Prometheus. But when a wound he suffered from Excalibur proves to be fatal, Emma sacrifices everything to save Hook.

In Storybrooke, Zelena’s pregnancy was accelerated and she gave birth to a daughter. It was feared Emma would use the baby to destroy the light but she actually wanted to capture Zelena. She planned to put the darkness in Zelena and kill her. Hook and Zelena escaped as the Nolans and Regina tried to stop Emma. Zelena revealed Emma’s deep dark secret—the way she saved Hook? She turned him into a Dark One too.

What a twist!

We open where we left off in Episode 8, with Emma frozen with squid ink and Dark!Hook ready to burn Storybrooke, it seems. He works with Zelena and she uses her cuff on Emma before they blow that popsicle stand, despite Emma begging Hook to listen to her and to let her help him. But Hook is having none of it. Not when she turned him into the one thing he detested most of all:

The Dark One

(Zelena is enjoying this)

The Third Wish: A Stronger Rewrite?

I may be obsessed with Sean Maguire right now. Okay, I may have been obsessed with him since he showed up on Once Upon a Time at the start of season 3. Anyway, I’ve been catching some of his past work. Including this movie that I guess was made for TV.

Lucky us, huh? 

Rub a lamp and wish for SPOILERS!

OUAT: A Scottish Adventure

Last time on “Once:” Hook pursued Emma to get some answers and she finally let him in. Unfortunately, his answers were that Emma was doing everything because she turned Hook into a Dark One while in Camelot in order to save his life. So she accelerated Zelena’s pregnancy, causing her to give birth. She then kidnapped the witch and was going to put all the darkness into her before killing her. But Zelena was freed and Hook was not pleased to be a Dark One.

Uh oh.

And now for something completely different…

We open in Camelot, where Zelena and Arthur return to the palace. He seems mad that Zelena poofed them out of there even though he asked her to. This guy is just crazy. Zelena pointed out that she saved him because he wasn’t going to make it against the heroes. They need to think of something else. Arthur has an idea.

(Aww, is someone sulking?)

OUAT: Twice the Darkness and a Pinch of Cute

Last time on “OUAT:” We learned about the origins of Merlin and the Dark One. Merlin drank from the Holy Grail, which gave him magic and immortality. He helped a village thrive when a young woman named Nimue asked him for help. She fell in love with him instead. He created a sword in order to get rid of his immortality but he needs one more thing. So he and Nimue go on a quest when she found the man who destroyed her village. She tried to get vengeance but it seemed she died. Except she didn’t—she had drank from the Holy Grail and became immortal. She killed the man by crushing his heart and became the Dark One.

Merlin and Emma went to get the flame but they have to summon Nimue, who has it inside of her. Nimue though encouraged Emma to give into the darkness but Emma proved stronger. She got the flame and was one step closer to being rid of the darkness. Merlin though disappeared, summoned because Arthur had Zelena bind him to Excalibur. She had betrayed the others after helping them into the palace.

In Storybrooke, Emma reforged Excalibur as the past Dark Ones celebrated.

Everyone is in trouble now.