Do NOT Ever Leave the Room…

It’s time for Thanksgiving on How I Met Your Mother. While other shows either focus on Halloween or Christmas episodes, this show has delivered great Thanksgiving episodes. So, let’s get into this year’s offering!

The gang all participated together—for the most part—so there are no individual plots. This will be more of an old-school style recap.

I now have an old-school style.

We start at MacLaren’s the day before Thanksgiving. Future!Ted says that he was hosting Thanksgiving that year, which I don’t think jives with show continuity. Didn’t “Slapsgiving” establish that Lily and Marshall always host Thanksgiving? Anyway, Ted’s decided that he’s not going to put stuffing in the turkey. He’s going to stuff a smaller turkey inside it! He dubs it a turturkeykey. He takes his leave, saying he needs to prepare the turturkeykey. Marshall wonders if Ted really wants to do that or if he wants to be like the Blitz.

Who or what is the Blitz? you may ask. Well, the Blitz is a title bestowed upon a person who is cursed—every time he leaves, something awesome happens. Marshall and Ted had a friend in college, played by Lost’s Jorge Garcia, who suffered from this. We see a scene of them in college, where “Blitz” gets up to head back to his room as Marshall and Ted enjoy some sandwiches.  Just after he leaves, a pretty blonde comes in and realizes she isn’t in her room. And then, inexplicably, her towel falls off. Ted and Marshall finish telling the Blitz this story and he replies: “Aww, Man.”

Anyway, Ted wakes up the next morning to find the gang passed out in his living room. Robin’s face is painted like one of the members of KISS and the others have boas and other items strewn about. They wake up and tell Ted he missed some crazy times the night before. This includes something called “The Gentleman” and a skateboarding dog. Ted can’t believe this and heads into the bathroom. It is there that he discovers Zoey sleeping in his tub. He kicks her out and asks why his mortal enemy was in his tub. Lily replies that it’s a funny story but now Zoey is a friend. Ted doesn’t find this so funny, as it is his understanding that friends hate the same people their friends hate for no other reason. After all, he hated Renee Zelleweger because Lily did, only to find out she meant Reese Witherspoon! Lily explains that the gang initially hated Zoey upon seeing her the night previous and plotted ways to avenge Ted.

Barney ends an elaborate plan that sounds more like Zoey’s rape, scaring Lily. She focuses in on a nice scarf hanging from Zoey’s bag. She tries to casually grab the scarf but Zoey turns around, spotting her. Caught, Lily comes right out that they are friends of Ted and don’t like her. But Zoey recognizes Lily’s name. Turns out she’s a fan of Lily’s painting and has bought some of her paintings. And now she’s Lily’s best friends and was there for the awesome activities from the night before. In fact, she suggests a game of truth and dare, ending up daring Marshall to send a picture of his "junk” to some random number. Which ends up being provided by the Blitz! He was in on the awesome night as well! So much so, that he’s no longer the Blitz. In a quick scene, we see a puff of white smoke come out of Blitz’s mouth and float into Ted’s. Ted is now the Blitz, so Blitz asks to be called Steve again.

For all you Lost fans out there, I’m going to call him Hurley. That’ll be the extent of the Lost references as I didn’t watch the show. You may now insert your own Lost jokes where you see fit.

Anyway, Ted wants to forget about the awesome night he missed and to get Thanksgiving started. Which means getting the turturkkey in the oven! Ted asks that everyone comes into the kitchen so he doesn’t miss anything and they oblige. But then they remember that the awesome night eventually ended up at Ted and Robin’s, where they stood on the oven door. Ted is clearly upset when his oven door breaks off. So, they relocate Thanksgiving to Barney’s! Except Barney doesn’t have an oven that works. It isn’t even a real oven. So, they go to Lily and Marshall’s. But the sewage treatment plant suffered an explosion, so it reeks. The gang decides to try Hurley’s, but his mom uses the oven to store her cats’ litter box.

So, it’s back to Ted’s. But halfway there, Lily remembers that the night before, Zoey invited them to her place for Thanksgiving. She says she’ll be alone since her husband, the Captain, chooses to spend it with his daughter. And then she goes back to painting the face of a sleeping Robin. Ted is understandably against it, but they decide to go to Zoey’s anyway. That’s when they notice that Barney’s not with them. Barney hit up Ranjit for a ride, which causes the driver to point out that Barney left the group. That means he shall die become the next Blitz. Barney doesn’t think so but urges Ranjit to drive faster.

When he gets to Zoey’s, he finds the group covered in streamers. It turns out their cab ended up making a left turn and getting into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade (highly implausible given the police barricades and spectators, but still funny). Barney begins to panic and does everything to try to stop being the Blitz.  As he worries about that, Ted and Zoey wonder if enemies can become friends. They decide to ask an impartial third party—the guy Marshall sent a picture of his junk to. He sent back a picture of his own junk and thus is dubbed “Wang Guy.” They send him the question and he replies that enemies can become friends. Robin wants to know more details about Wang Guy while Ted decides to call a truce with Zoey.

As he goes to do so, he accidentally walks into Zoey. She was carrying a dish of something that ends up on her (white) shirt. She believes it was done on purpose and the two are fighting again. Lily tries to remind them of what Wang Guy said and of famous cartoon enemies that put their differences aside. Ted says that Wang Guy was wrong and then says that if Zoey were a cartoon, she’d be Cinderella’s evil stepmother. This clearly upsets Zoey, who throws them all out. After they leave, Barney comes back from the bathroom and is scared to find no one there. He sits down, missing as Zoey takes off her dirty shirt.

In the cab, the group wonders what went wrong. Lily states she was so mad, she decided to swipe something of Zoey’s. She regrets that of all the nice things in Zoey and the Captain’s apartment, she took a turkey plush. Ted reads the tag on the plush, noticing that Zoey was going to give it to someone named Hannah. Ted does some math: (Clip of Zoey saying the Captain preferred to spend Thanksgiving with his daughter) + (Clip of Ted calling her Cinderella’s evil stepmother and Zoey’s reaction) = Ted telling the cabbie to turn around so they can go back to Zoey’s.

Zoey comes out from changing her shirt (and probably setting it to soak in the bathroom sink, given how much time has passed since she threw the gang out) to find everyone sitting at her table. She is angry at first (and a bit upset that Barney had been in the apartment the whole time), but Ted interrupts to say that he knows she’d rather be spending it with her husband and her step-daughter. He understands it must be hard for her. Zoey breaks down and reveals that it would’ve been her first Thanksgiving where Hannah came over, but in the end she backed out. Ted gives Zoey the turkey plush back, saying that maybe she’ll be able to give that to Hannah the next year. She smiles and says she can’t wait to have some turturkeykey.

So, they all sit down and a truce is called. Future!Ted tells us (and his children) that that was how he and Zoey became friends. Cue the imaginary studio audience we all have in our heads saying “aww.” As the turturkeykey sits on the table, Barney leans down and Hurley goes to light a candle on the table. This sets off a chain reaction that ends with a black top hat flying through the air, doing flips in slow motion, and landing on the turturkeykey. Everyone exclaims “The gentleman!” while Barney realizes he missed something awesome. Again. And in case you were wondering, Future!Ted reveals that the turturkeykey tasted horrible. I’d imagine one or both of the turkeys weren’t completely cooked.

In the tag, Barney and Hurley leave Zoey’s apartment. Barney boards the elevator, but Hurley needs to go back for something. A young woman dressed in a nice evening gown, rushes to catch the elevator. We see her dress get caught in the door and hear the rip as it is pulled from her body. Barney celebrates as Hurley realizes he is once again the Blitz.

And I imagine Barney scored with the woman.

On Friday, the Pauley Center released the Top Thirty Funniest TV Holiday Moments.” Ranked on that list was “Slapsgiving” and all subsequent Thanksgiving episodes will now be compared to that standard for as long as Ted keeps trying to find the mother. And I liked this year’s entry. It advanced the Ted and Zoey plot while being slightly hilarious, particularly with all the zany things that happened when the designated Blitz was gone.

Sorry this was so long! I didn’t realize how busy my holiday weekend ended up being between family, the annual movie, volunteer work and the unexpected airing of “Celtic Thunder Christmas” on one of my PBS stations. But here it is! I’m just glad last night’s episode was a repeat!

Consider Yourself…Gone

Last week on “I’d Do Anything”: It was the musical episode where most of the songs…came from the radio! Yay! Anyway, some girls rose to the challenge while others fell flat. But they all got to kiss former Joseph Ben James-Ellis in a scene from “Hairspray” while the Oliver’s got to play football (soccer). Arthur advanced to the finals while Keisha and Tara ended up in the bottom two. Andrew chose to save Keisha again and Tara returned her locket. Andrew hid somewhere to avoid the wrath of Tara’s dad, El Bandito.

Graham suit watch: Green and orange. It works. Graham welcomes us, the band, judges and Andrew Lloyd Webber from Las Vegas to the (not-so) live show. The Nancy’s and Oliver’s start the show with “Consider Yourself.” Now that the song is done, Graham properly introduces the panel: John Barrowman, Denise van Outen and Barry Humphries! Graham reminds us that Andrew is in Las Vegas, so the Phantom overture is replaced by some cheesy music. And if you’re wondering why Andrew is (not-so) live from Las Vegas, it was the opening of the 90-minute version of Phantom of the Opera. He also mentored the final six contestants on that year’s American Idol.

First up are Jodie and Samantha. Jodie goes nuts backstage over her positive excitement…and then her boyfriend proposes. Everyone celebrates but she goes right back to rehearsals. Sam talks about John’s criticism. So John mentors her and we get to hear him sing a bit. I love his voice. She starts crying and he gets goose bumps as she sings. Jodie sings “9 to 5.” I don’t think Jodie gets the country feel but that could be the orchestrations. But if they plan to bring the musical version of the movie to London, I think they should consider her for a part. Maybe the Jane Fonda/Stephanie J. Block role. And we see Jodie’s fiancé go nuts in the audience. Samantha sings "Hurt.” John’s face during her performance is a bit concerning. Once again, she delivers a beautiful vocal and I think she does have emotion behind her performance.

Graham meets up with the girls and congratulates Jodie. She doesn’t know if she should start planning the wedding or the hen night (bachelorette party). Graham pulls out a picture of a young Sam in a pot. He then goes to John, who praises Jodie. He gives Samantha his “fantastic, fantastic, fantastic” review. Whew. His face concerned me. Barry calls Jodie “dynamic” and “electric.” As for Samantha, he calls it her best performance so far. Denise thought Jodie was wonderful and praised her diction. As for Samantha, she said the performance moved her and called her “brilliant.” In Vegas, Andrew tells Jodie she could go there and get married by Elvis. Andrew blathers on and doesn’t seem to say much, except praising Sam.

Coming Up: Andrew doesn’t really like Ashley’s voice.

Next up are Ashley and Niamh. Ashley says Andrew’s criticism hurt but she’s bouncing back. Niamh says she lost confidence last week but pulled out a great song. But Niamh’s older sister comes for a visit. Ashley sings “I Wanna Dance with Somebody.” When compared to Whitney Houston, Ashley falls short vocally. But she has great energy. And Niamh sings “Wind Beneath My Wings” for her older sister. We sang this song at my 8th grade graduation to our parents as we handed our mothers roses. And was there anyone who hasn’t watched “Beaches” and cried by the time the song came on? I think Niamh does a wonderful job with the song and may be better than the Divine Miss M.

Ashley talks about her hometown is all decked out with her picture and she’s gotten letters from politicians. Denise called Ashley “bubbly” but she had a few pitch problems, but Denise likes her voice. As for Niamh, she calls her performance “gorgeous” and “classy.” Barry says he continues to warm to Ashley while he calls Niamh “exquisite.” He thinks she could redefine the role of Nancy. John agrees with Denise and Dame Edna regarding Ashley’s voice, she just needs to work on movement. He tells Niamh to believe in herself. And now to Vegas…He loves her smile and praises her song. Andrew wasn’t too fond of Ashley’s performance and gets booed.

Coming up: Little boys on ropes.

Holy shit, we’re getting the Doctor Who Christmas special on Christmas! This has never happened before! The closest was last year, when we got it the day after!

We turn now to the Oliver’s! Andrew tests the boys’ bravery. By making them slide down a rope suspended hundred feet in the air. Jordan sings as he lowers himself down. Then they sing before Andrew and Cameron. Kwayedza is the one put through to the finals. He picks Sarah as his Nancy. All the Oliver’s sing “I Whistle a Happy Tune” from The King and I.

Could Be Oliver:

Gareth

Jordan

Harry

Joseph

Sam

Chester

Arthur

Gwion

Kwayedza

Alexander

Jonny

Laurence

Coming Up: Keisha is up.

Keisha is the odd Nancy out. She talks about being in the sing off again. Does anyone else hear the Titanic theme? Okay, I’m not imagining it…Keisha sings the Most Overplayed Song of 1997, “My Heart Will Go On.” The poor, poor thing. It’s an emotional performance, but I don’t think Keisha has the range we’re used to regarding this song. Graham calls Keisha a survivor. And no one thought to give her that song? Denise has been starting the entire show. And she still has some concerns about Keisha. Keisha asks what she can do. John disagrees. Denise thinks she lacked emotion, John thinks she nailed it. Barry called it “warm” and “powerful.” Andrew says he’s proud of Keisha. He says Denise has some good points.

Coming Up: Denise’s hair stands up.

Am I the only hoping that every time they cut back to Andrew, he’d do something typical of Vegas? Wear an Elvis wig? Have a drink? Be seen with showgirls? Pretend to be playing a game?

Anyway, Jessie and Sarah are next. Jessie was overwhelmed by the judges’ comments. Jessie’s sisters show us how her entire town is supporting her and say they miss her. Sarah follows John’s comments and jokes she’s going to go green, but ends up going darker. Jessie sings “Why Do Fools Fall in Love?” Wow, when I spend the entire time just watching and not commenting, it’s a good performance. Sarah sings “Midnight Train to Georgia.” I love Sarah’s voice.

Jessie says she copes find being apart from home, but she does miss her family. Sarah says she’s determined to become Nancy, even if it means changing her hair. John says that she has an edge now and is a contender. As for Jessie, he wants to see her dance. Denise tells her to loosen up. As for Sarah, she would give her a standing ovation and that she made the hair on Denise’s arm stand up. Barry looks at Denise’s hairs and Graham tells him to focus. Barry likes Jessie’s look and voice but wants to see her act. He calls Sarah “powerful” and would give her standing O as well. Andrew is last. He thought both did well. He wants to work with the girls.

Coming Up: Andrew makes up his own awards.

Francesca and Rachel are the next Nancy’s to perform. We see Francesca singing “Time of My Life.” By the way, Jennifer Grey won Dancing with the Stars! Congrats to her and Derek! Anyway, Francesca practices and sings and there’s Claire Moore. Rachel says that John pulled her aside after the show to say she had turned it down a level. She says she has to fight again. Francesca sings “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” It’s a nice performance but not “blow me away”. But better vocally than last week. Rachel sings “The Way We Were.” In some circles, this song has become somewhat of a go-to joke, but Rachel’s performance is beautiful and poignant.

Francesca says the nerves disappear once she starts performing. Rachel says she never feels secure and its possible to be out any week. John says Francesca has the rough edge and that she was good. He says Rachel’s was the best performance of the evening. Barry calls Francesca “beautiful” and “glamorous.” But that Nancy isn’t “glamorous.” Denise asks what’s missing and he says that it’s a wounded feeling, like Rachel gives out. He calls her performance wonderful. Denise disagrees about Francesca but agrees about Rachel. To Vegas! He calls Francesca’s performance “good” and wants her to roughen it up. He tells her to let go. He calls Rachel “fantastic” and mentions the song won an Oscar. He tells Rachel that if he were there, he’d give her an Andrew. Did that sound wrong to anyone else?

Coming Up: The girls take a trip to Oz.

We’re heading into the results show and Graham is now wearing powder blue and maroon. The Nancy’s sing “Consider Yourself” again. After they finish, we get a recap of the performances. Graham asks Ashley about Andrew’s feedback. She says it hurt but hopes she’s back next week. On the other side, Sarah finally got a clean sweep of positive reviews. She says it was great. For the Nancy Challenge, the girls went to “Wicked” and met leading lady Kerry Ellis. She tells the girls they will be singing “I’m Not that Girl” after the matinee show. The girls take a peek at the audience. The girls then get to perform. They interview the audience and they were split.

Coming Up: Andrew wrote a song for Elvis.

We come back as Andrew is now wearing Elvis sunglasses. Okay, it’s a start. Andrew says he wrote a song for Elvis and it was the last thing he ever sung. Anyway, Graham turns the stage over to the Nancy’s to sing “Viva Las Vegas.” They are dressed like Vegas showgirls, except with more clothing! This week, Sarah rather than Keisha is catching eye besides Niamh and Samantha. Of course, it’s hard to hear this song without thinking of that Viagra commercial at the time. Back in Vegas, Andrew praises the band. Is that the go-to when they’re stuck? Anyway, Andrew also says Sarah stood out. John picks Ashley. Barry picks Jessie and Samantha. Denise agrees with Samantha.

And because the show needs a shot of Adorable, we get to meet Kwayedza—our new Oliver finalist. He likes R&B and motown. He wants to meet Beyonce. And all the Oliver’s sing “I’ll Be There.” From the King of Rock to the King of Pop. It was a lovely performance.

Coming up: The results!

We come back to Graham asking the panel who is NOT Nancy. John: Keisha. Denise: Keisha. Barry: Francesca. Time to reveal some fates! Rachel is safe! Sarah could be Nancy. Samantha and Niamh are also safe. They rush off to join Sarah and Rachel. Keisha might be in jeopardy. She remains on the stairs. Jodie is safe. Jessie could still be Nancy. Ashley, Francesca and Keisha come down. One is safe, two aren’t. Francesca is in the bottom two. Keisha could still be Nancy and freaks out. As Keisha goes to the box, the other girls look as shocked as the others did when Brandy and Maks were eliminated on Dancing with the Stars.

So the bottom two is Ashley and Francesca. If it were down to the voting public, Ashley would be out. The two sing “Whistle Down the Wind” from the musical of the same name. I love Andrew’s position while watching them. I can see what Andrew has to weigh against: Francesca is clearly the better vocal, but Ashley fits more the “Nancy image.” I don’t pity him.

Coming Up: Who does Andrew save?

Ashley and Francesca appear before Andrew. He calls it an extraordinary sing-off. He calls it the toughest call he ever had. He decides to save Ashley. She joins the others as Andrew tells Francesca he’s gutted. But he had to consider the panel’s comments. He does feel she has a long career ahead of her. Francesca says she going to take away all the advice she’s gotten. Graham sends her to say good-bye. The remaining eight Nancy’s sing “Be Back Soon.” Francesca then sings “As Long As He Needs Me” as Ashley takes off her necklace. Good-bye, Francesca. The other girls hug her.

Could Still Be Nancy:

Amy

Keisha

Cleo

Sarah

Rachel

Jodie

Samantha

Ashley

Jessie

Francesca

Niamh

Tara

Well, that was an interesting show. I think last time this is where I turned on Ashley because I thought Francesca was clearly better vocally than her. But now that I’m older and I guess wiser, I can see why Andrew would keep Ashley. So, do you think the right girl went home?

Next week: Loads of bad critiques and Andrew’s back in the studio!

Exchange of the Episode:

“You’ve got your credit card?”
”No. You got yours?”
”No.”
”DAD?” –Niamh and her sister on their shopping spree.

And the Winner…

Will be revealed next week! I was actually wondering when Top Model would run their clip show/recap show. Generally, they ran it as the final six headed for the international destination. But this cycle, they decided to air it before the final. So the Ann-Chelsey walk off will be seen next week on the CW at 8PM EST. I’ve opted not to recap the recap. But I did like the peeks into the room where the girls await the judges’ decision. They got silly sometimes.

As for my “How I Met Your Mother” recap—it’s coming. I missed this week’s episode and watched it online last night. So, if all goes well, it may be your Thanksgiving present.

The Beginning of the End

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know there’s a new Harry Potter movie out. And unless you’ve been under that rock for the past year or so, you know that this is only the first part of the final Harry Potter saga.

The movie opens with new Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimegour (Bill Nighy), warning the populace to remain vigilant. As he speaks, we see Hermione with her parents, Harry watching the Dursleys leave Number 4 Privet Drive and Ron staring into the distance outside the Burrow. This sequence finishes with Snape arriving at Malfoy Manor, where Voldemort’s Cabinet is meeting. Snape informs Voldemort that something’s going to happen on Saturday. After Voldemort is satisfied with Snape’s intel, he kills the heretofore unseen Muggles Study professor. Alan Rickman (Snape) and Tom Felton (Draco) should be commended for their acting in this scene—Snape keeping a schooled expression on his face, Draco showing he cared about the professor.

At Number 4 Privet Drive, Harry bids adieu to the closet underneath the stairs—his old bedroom. A small party arrives to take him to the Burrow. It is here we meet Bill Weasley (played by Brendan Gleeson’s, Mad-Eye Moody, real-life son). An exhilarating chase sequence ensues as they race for the Burrow. At the Burrow, Bill marries Fleur and happiness enters the movie for a brief period. But the happiness ends with news that the Minister of Magic is dead and the Ministry has been invaded. Harry, Hermione and Ron flee the party.

As they regroup in a London café, the three friends begin the race against time and Voldemort, running for their lives. Harry is desperately trying to find the remaining Horcruxes, whose destruction will aid in the defeat of Voldemort. Along the way, Harry faces new dangers and the trio faces trials to their own wills. Their friendship undergoes some of their hardest tests in this movie as well. As the movie reaches its climax, Harry learns of the Deathly Hallows—supposedly mythological items given to three brothers by Death. These could tip the scale in favor of Voldemort and the movie ends there.

The place the filmmakers opted to split the movie was the logical one in my opinion. The first part has its own climax but appropriately builds up to the second part. I myself was curious how they would fit in the wedding considering Bill was never introduced, but they did it well. The film’s lighting continues to be dark, just as it has been since Prisoner of Azkabahn. The cinematography is beautiful and the locations the trio travels to in order to avoid detection are breath-taking. Though there were a few bits in which the camera switched to a Blair Witch style shooting and, on the IMAX screens, it led to a few of us getting dizzy.

The actors have really matured, both physically and as actors. From a shallow perspective, some of the male actors have become handsome young men—namely, the Phelps twins (Fred and George Weasley). Though my friend made a comment after the movie that I had to agree with—Daniel Radcliffe took his shirt off many times during the movie. It would seem that since he bared all for Equus a few years back, he had no problem anymore taking it off. But his acting skills have vastly improved over the seven movies and I can’t wait to see how he handles the intensity needed for part two.

The challenge of this movie was that the trio—Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint—carry it more than in the past. A few supporting players return in part one, including David Thewlis (Remus Lupin), Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid), Natalie Tena (Tonks), Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange), and Jason Isaacs (Lucius Malfoy)—just to name a few. Though brief, Neville gets an appearance in part one as well.  But the movie doesn’t suffer from the focus being mainly on Harry, Ron and Hermione. The young actors have bright careers ahead of them and this movie proves it.

When the credits started to roll, most of us in the theater wished we could immediately move on to Part 2. Part One was an excellent addition to the Harry Potter opus. The summer cannot come soon enough!

It’s a Fine Life…For Now

Last week on “I’d Do Anything”: The final eleven Nancy’s performed, trying to portray different sides of Nancy. They also had an acting lesson, complete with rats. The Oliver’s were sent to Billy Elliot to learn about acting as well. Chester became the second Oliver put through to the semi-finals while Keisha and Cleo fell into the bottom two. In the end, Andrew saved Keisha and Cleo had to turn in her locket. Who will do so tonight? Find out!

Graham suit watch: Mint green and dark red. He welcomes us to this week’s (not-so) live show. It’s the musical episode! The girls open the show with “It’s a Fine Life.” Some of the last words get garbled by the audience’s cheers. Though I like the shot of Graham eating a biscuit and drinking tea at the corresponding lyrics. The girls finish and leave the stage. Graham talks about how the girls got to go to a movie premiere and they show George Clooney while the Olivers went to a football (read: soccer) league. But first our panel: John Barrowman, Denise van Outen and Dame Edna/Barry Humphries. And, of course, Andrew Lloyd Webber. Cue the Phantom music! Andrew admonishes the voting public after last week’s final two. He calls it a marathon, not a sprint. They have to think of the long-term.

First up, Rachel and Sarah. Rachel says she can’t get complacent. She goes to the West End production of “Jersey Boys.” Sarah talks about how Denise doesn’t see her as Nancy. So Sarah goes to Modesty Blaze, who I guess does Burlesque? Rachel sings “December 1963 (Oh What a Night!)” from The Four Seasons/Jersey Boys. Rachel does a great job with a song and owns the stage. She also shows off some impressive dancing skills, even if her ending pose is a bit awkward. Sarah sings “Maybe This Time” from Cabaret. Sarah tries not to smile, but the moments she does are well-timed to the song. It is a wistful wish for a better future. She portrays the pain yet hope that Sally has.

Rachel says that the house dynamics have changed since two Nancy’s left. Graham mentions Sarah’s dancing before cutting to a childhood video of Sarah, much to her mortification. Denise says that Rachel delivers every week and that she can do it eight days a week. She says Sarah showed a difference but she can’t see Nancy. Barry says Rachel had great energy. He compares her to Georgia Brown, the original Nancy. Barry says her voice is Nancy but still can’t see it. John is last. He calls her a leading lady. As for Sarah, he thinks the panel is insane. Denise and John have a little argument before John suggests Sarah dye her hair a darker color. Andrew tries to make a Frankie Valli joke, but just praises Rachel instead. And says Sarah surprised him.

Coming up: Keisha and Francesca aren’t so great.

Next is Keisha and Francesca. Francesca says being in the bottom two made her nervous during the show last week. But she was safe and she’s grateful for her hometown support. She says she has her confidence back. Keisha didn’t impress the panelists last week and Keisha agrees. She talks about the sing-off, saying she just decided to go out fighting. She called a kick. Francesca sings “Time of my Life” from Dirty Dancing. Sing along, everyone. You know you know the words. By the way, vote for Jennifer Grey to win Dancing with the Stars! Her vocal is good but I think she could have a bit more connection with the dancers. Okay, she can’t hit the high notes. She was doing well until the end. Keisha sings “The Lady is a Tramp.” Keisha seems to do well with jazz standards. She should release a CD just singing those. Or look into a Cole Porter or Gershwin Brothers musical. I could hear her singing “I’ve Got Rhythm” or “Someone to Watch Over Me.”

The girls go before the panel. Let’s see who makes the first “Don’t put Baby in a corner joke.” Keisha has a very long name. You should save the naming until after the drugs wear off. Denise thinks Francesca is right for Nancy. Denise says she can’t see Keisha being a victim. Barry calls her performance the best so far. She is told to be a bit more raw. He reminds them they have to take the audience on a journey. John calls Francesca “superb, superb, superb.” He says Keisha is Nancy but her performance screamed “cruise ship” and tells her to tone it down. Andrew doesn’t have confidence in Francesca’s pitching. He says Keisha did a good job.

Could be Oliver:

Gareth

Jordan

Harry

Joseph

Sam

Chester

Arthur

Gwion

Kwayedza

Alexander

Jonny

Laurence

Coming up: Little boys and football (soccer).

Time for some adorableness! Bring on the Oliver Mission! The boys go to a football club, Tottenham Hotspurs, to learn about teamwork and stamina. They meet the team captain, Robert Keane. And get their own shirts. They practice before they start doing the Can-Can. Cameron and Andrew watch the games and talking about what they learned. And Arthur gets put through to the semi-finals. Graham gives him his hat and Arthur says his Nancy is Samantha, because of her voice and stage presence. Samantha looks touched. The Oliver’s sing “Teamwork” from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Coming up: Jodie is called a barmaid.

Jodie and Ashley are next. Oh, Ashley’s bad dress. She goes to visit “Mamma Mia” to get pointers. Jodie talks about Blackpool and Cabaret. Jodie’s brother looks like he could play David Tennant’s little brother. She promises no more cabaret. Ashley sings “Winner Takes it All” from Abba/Mamma Mia. Better choice, wardrobe. I’m not being blown away by her performance and I’m not entirely sure why. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t necessarily like her last time I watched this or because the performance is just bland. Her ending is good, though.  Jodie sings “Send in the Clowns” from A Little Night Music.  This is one of my favorite Sondheim songs. Jodie gives a raw, touching performance. It’s hauntingly beautiful.

Jodie and Ashley regroup by Graham. Jodie pulled a prank on Ashley, giving her a fake lottery ticket. John loved both performances. He thinks Ashley could be a Nancy and tells Jodie the cabaret was gone. He says he’s a bit speechless. Barry says Ashley changed his opinion about her potential. He says Jodie often came across as jolly, like a barmaid, but was poignant tonight. Denise says Ashley delivered the heart of a Nancy and Jodie give a West End leading lady performance. Andrew worries about Ashley’s voice, that it may get boring. Jodie’s song was chosen on purpose and she rose to the challenge.

Coming up: Good critiques!

Niamh and Jessie are next to perform. Niamh talks about Denise’s “fragile” comment. She says she’s a bit homesick and her mother gives her care packages. The last one included sausages. Jessie watches herself during the Nancy challenge. She goes to see a dialect coach to work on her acting. Niamh sings “Moon River” from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Have I mentioned yet how much I love Niamh’s voice? It really suits the song as well. I liked the way she remained understated, just letting the words wash over us. Jessie sings “One Night Only” from Dreamgirls. Okay, that one I could not look away from. I liked how they merged the ballad version that Effie sings with the disco version the Dreamgirls sing. And for the girl whose posture Denise worried about week one, she really moved well.

They show some childhood pictures of Niamh (with a fiddle) and Jessie (with a harp twice her size). Denise says Niamh’s fragility could redefine the role of Nancy. She thinks Jessie could win the whole thing. John agrees with Denise and calls Jessie flawless. Barry praises Niamh for making the lyrics of the song have sense. He calls Jessie strong. Andrew says it’s a grand night for the Irish. He calls Niamh fantastic and a young Audrey Hepburn. He thinks Jessie could do 8 shows a week.

Coming up: Andrew disagrees with Denise and John.

Tara and Samantha are the last Nancy’s. Tara says she got a confidence knock when a judge said she wasn’t their Nancy last week. And her performance last week wasn’t great. Tara gets a pep talk from her friends via tape. John didn’t think Samantha was Nancy. But then she goes to the red carpet with the other Nancy’s and sees George Clooney. He can cheer anyone up. Tara sings “Let’s Hear it For the Boy” from Footloose. Tara starts off strong. She’s a really good actress but her voice starts to show some strain in the last chorus. Samantha sings “Somewhere” from West Side Story. She starts off very beautiful and simple and then gets angry, it seems. It’s an odd choice, given the context of the song.

The girls gush over meeting George Clooney. John notes Tara cracked like I did and he still thinks Samantha didn’t have the emotion again. Barry calls Tara “polished” and he didn’t find it. Tara says the song didn’t suit her and that she had bronchitis, much to John’s displeasure. Barry thinks Samantha could be Nancy. Denise says Tara squeaks on the top notes while she agrees with John about Samantha. Andrew says he can’t really judge Tara from her performance and thinks Samantha did a wonderful job. Take that, Denise and John.

Coming up: Ben’s back!

Graham reminds us that no one wants to go home. And then we get a recap. We come back to Andrew, Graham and the Nancy’s. He says the girls are ready. Jodie says they are always under pressure because he’s watching. Ashley says they just have to rise to the challenges. Graham says they sent the Nancy’s to the West End production of Hairspray to perform the musical’s kissing scene with former Joseph Ben James-Ellis. Hi, Ben! But what the girls don’t know is that they will be doing the kissing scene in front of their dads. Ben notes that Jessie forgot a line but liked Keisha and Sam. Her dad calls cut. Jodie really enjoys the kiss. Ashley is surprised to see her dad. Ben liked Rachel coming out in character, kissing him…and she goes back for another. Ben’s a little nervous when Tara comes out as El Bandito is sitting right there.

Coming Up: The Choir of Adorable performs.

The Nancy’s perform “Good Morning, Baltimore” from Hairspray. This number also highlights the dancers—like Samantha and Sarah. Besides my usual group standouts—Keisha and Niamh—I think Jessie does really well in this number as well. Oh, we’re at the results show. Graham is now in dark dred and dark blue. Andrew highlights Samantha and Jodie. John also picks Samantha. Barry says Jessie and Niamh. Denise picks Niamh and calls Sarah “sassy.”

After, we get to meet Arthur—our third Oliver. He does martial arts and plays the saxophone. He also loves fashion and the color purple. The Oliver’s sing “A Whole New World” from Aladdin.

Coming up: Elimination time!

Graham asks the panel who is not Nancy. John says Tara. Denise says Keisha. Barry says Tara. Two against Tara, one against Keisha. Keisha is in the sing-off. She goes to stand with Graham. Samantha could still be Nancy. Sarah and Jodie could both be Nancy and go join Samantha. Francesca is safe. Rachel and Jessie are safe as well. Niamh could still be Nancy as well. It is between Tara and Ashley. Tara is in the sing off while Ashley is safe. Keisha and Tara take their spots for the sing-off as Graham reveals that if it were just up to viewers, Keisha would be out of the competition.

Coming Up: Keisha or Tara?

The sing-off song this week is “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” This one is a bit difficult because Tara’s voice is better suited for this song. But Keisha overpowers her when they sing together. Andrew’s decision will be between this: Keisha has the better voice while Tara is the better actress. Andrew talks about how difficult his job is. He saves Keisha. She goes to join the others while Andrew says that he was unsure about her being able to perform 8 shows a week. Tara says the girls are all fantastic and that she learned so much. She gives a message in what I think is Welsh. Graham sends her to say good-bye.

The other girls start with “Be Back Soon” before Tara sings “As Long as He Needs Me.” Keisha takes off her locket as she ascends the stairs. It’s one of her best performances. Too bad it’s her last.

Could Still Be Nancy:

Amy

Keisha

Cleo

Sarah

Rachel

Jodie

Samantha

Ashley

Jessie

Francesca

Niamh

Tara

Next week: “Wind Beneath My Wings,” people. Oh, and Andrew will not be in the studio.

And so Tara goes. The voting public really doesn’t like Keisha, do they? Francesca’s bounced back, but not Keisha. Who do you think deserved to go home this week?

Also, for the “musical” episode, they sure did a lot of jukebox numbers, didn’t they?

Quote of the Episode:

“You can get the boy out of the theater, but you can’t take the theatre out of the boy.”—Graham, about the Oliver Mission.

The Last Supper

Last week on ANTM: It was go-sees! And with the exception of Chelsey, the girls went to only one go-see (Versace). Chelsey won the challenge as she went to two go-sees. Later, Nigel shot the girls as statues who come to life because of their sculptor’s love. Ann and Kayla excelled again while Jane had a breakdown. In judging, she fell to the bottom with Chris but the latter was sent home for not being as strong as the other two. Four girls remain, so the winner will be crowned next week! Who won’t be making it? Find out tonight!

Wanna be on top?

MILAN! The top four celebrate being the top four in the Milan Model Mobile. Jane talks about needing to show her personality as we see her crying at panel. Ann says she’s trying to study and Chelsey insults her. We get reminded that Chelsey’s done this before. Kayla enjoys looking at her picture, doing a celebratory dance. Jane’s funny: “You just like to gyrate your hips.” She asks Chelsey to come and see the picture, but Ann and Jane come instead. Jane wants Kayla to shut up and Ann’s shy, y’all. Just in case, you know, you missed the entire season.

TYRA MAIL! “Modeling 100% you and 50% who you know.” The girls think they may be running into some of their predecessors. They run into Ms. J. Who talks about personality and first impressions. He/She/It introduces them to Barbara Terrinoni, who the caption says is an acting coach. Ann remembers how she bombed the commercial. Barbara tells Jane to project her voice. She tells Ann to smile before moving on to having the girls to be emotions. Is Ms. J not wearing a shirt? Anyway, the girls are meeting a big important guest. They are told not to clam up and to remember they have personalities.

The Milan Model Mobile takes them to meet that person as the music gets all dramatic. The girls ride an elevator until they get to Vogue Italia.

Commercials!

When we come back, Andre Leon Talley introduces Franca Sozzani. She’s the editor-in-chief of Vogue Italia. They have to present themselves to Franca. And it’s a challenge! Kayla is up first. She explains her book but realizes she didn’t really explain herself. Chelsey is next and speaks a little Italian. Franca doesn’t seem impressed by Idaho. Ann is next and projects her voice. She doesn’t speak as much as the other two. Jane is the last one. She trails off a bit and is nervous. Franca thinks Kayla needs more character and that Chelsey did. She says Ann is stunning in pictures, not sure about person. And she calls Jane pretty but not sure about character. The challenge winner will get to go with Andre Leon Talley to see Leonardo di Vinci’s “The Last Supper” with a friend. She and that friend will get to stay at a top Milan hotel. And Chelsey wins. She brings Kayla with her. So, Jane and Ann ride the bus back home.

Andre takes the two to see the painting. Chelsey reveals she is Catholic and starts to cry. One thing I’ve always wondered—do they let the girls go to their respective places of worship. Back at the house, Ann and Jane throw their own party—complete with “The Last Supper” drawn by Ann. Chelsey and Ann realize their hotel is in a mall as they see Gucci across the street. Room service brings them champagne and food. They toast themselves and hope to be the final two. I think they may be.

TYRA MAIL! “Movement creates energy. Tomorrow, you’ll be models on the move.” Jane and Ann hop on the Milan Model Mobile to pick up Chelsey and Kayla, who rub their win in the other girls’ faces. Mr. Jay greets them in Verona. He says this shoot will involve acting. And they will be holding to the precedent of the past few cycles—at tonight’s panel, two girls will be eliminated.

Commercials.

Fair Verona, where we lay our scene. Tyra comes running out. She says she’ll be directing them in a motion editorial. Kayla has a “What the hell?” look on her face. And they’ll be in couture! Valentina Serra, the stylist for Vogue Italia, will be their stylist today. Kayla says she loved playing dress up, but the ones she liked didn’t fit her. Tyra tells them to think Alice in Wonderland, a thirteen years-old discovering the place for the first time. Chelsey is first. Tyra stops her because her wonder was always in her mouth, but Chelsey corrects.

Ann is next and Tyra loves her. She is really good. Jane tells Tyra some of her ideas and she thinks she gave Tyra some personality. Kayla sends her to a door to get her silhouette. I love how they did her hair. Tyra loves her. Ann goes again and Tyra loves it. I also love Mr. Jay and Tyra doing it together. Chelsey is next, getting to flip her hair, as does Jane. They run to change into the men’s clothes. Juliet dressing up as Romeo. She thinks Jane was stiff and tells Ann to work the weirdness. They continue with each girl whispering their name over and over. Then the last scene is them rolling in bushes.

That’s a wrap!

Oh Lord, I don’t pity the panel. I can’t choose from that who will be sent back Stateside tonight.

Coming up: Tyra’s directorial debut.

Tyra doesn’t like her initial outfit so she changes. Franca gives it her approval. So, there are judges—Nigel and Andre. And the guest judge is Franca. There are prizes. Chelsey’s motion editorial is first. She gets applause for being the challenge winner. For now, they just show the best of her shoots. Nigel is surprised. So is Franca. Tyra says she was impressed. She tells Chelsey not to get nervous though because there was an important yet unusable shot. Jane is next. I could totally see Jane on a Calvin Klein commercial. Nigel says the camera loves her but it doesn’t seem believable. The others agree but Tyra says she thought her face stood out on set. Ann is the third up. Andre loves her outfit. Franca calls her photogenic and Nigel tells her about angles. She tells Ann to work on her walk. Kayla is last. Nigel calls her the most believable. Franca says she’s good for some photographers, which Tyra says is a compliment. Okay? Anyway, time to deliberate and who will end up in a Roberto Cavali fashion show.

Commercials.

The judges debate the top four. About the surprises, about their faces, their talent, their potential. ELIMINATION! The first name is Ann. Oh my goodness! Ann made it to the final! I’m so happy! Chelsey, Kayla and Jane are asked to step forward. Chelsey: Love and knowledge of fashion, passionate. Pictures are just really good, not mind-blowing. Kayla: Different, interesting. A top photographer would create beauty but hasn’t mastered her body or angles. Jane: Pretty pictures, beautiful bone structure, no personality. But yesterday, she pushed through all the hair on her face and sold it. So, who is walking off against Ann? Chelsey. Sorry, Kayla and Jane. Tyra hugs Kayla and tells her that she goes into acting as well. Kayla says she’s happy with how far she came. And she’s proud of who she is. Tyra tells Jane she loved them, tells her to sign with an agency and she will dazzle. Jane says she’s disappointed but impressed she came this far. She thinks she could have a career but will still graduate from Princeton.

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Next week: The finale! Someone will get crowned America’s Next Top Model! Will it be awkward Ann or professional Chelsey? Find out!

Go, Ann! Work on that walk and take this all! Though Chelsey is serious competition. She has a better walk, has personality and the knowledge. But it’s interesting to think back to the major Chelsey-Ann rivalry edit this cycle got and realize how it was predicting this moment. Well, can’t wait for next week! Who do you think will win?

Children’s Show or Porn?

In this week’s episode, there were only two plots I feel: the “A” plot and the “B” plot. So, let’s get started!

Plot “A”: Hey, everybody! Lily’s trying to get pregnant! And she talks about it constantly. To the utter annoyance of Robin. Meanwhile, Barney is wearing a boutonniere. Why? Well, Barney has a theory that the times a man is more likely to get laid, he is wearing one: prom, weddings, funerals (and he thanks his grandmother for a redhead). Robin and Barney trade some banter before Robin insults him. This was exactly his plan because he pulls out a DVD and declares the return of Robin Sparkles!

If you don’t know Robin Sparkles, you must be new to the fandom. Welcome. Anyway, Robin Sparkles was Robin’s name when she was a big Canadian pop star. But that identity came from a Canadian show. Which is what Barney has on his DVD. And that show? “Space Teens.” After watching a bit, Barney declares it a porno and prepares to slap Marshall in a nice callback to “Slap Bet.” Robin stops him, swearing that the TV show was an educational one. She and her friend, Jessica Glitters, were two Canadian teens who traveled in a space ship and solved crimes using math. Barney, dejected, sits back down. But the show is so filled with innuendo, the gang can’t help themselves. Especially since you have Cobie Smulders paired with Pussycat Doll and Dancing with the Stars Season 10 champ Nicole Scherzinger and they are seen jumping around as if hitting an asteroid belt. And answering math questions from Alan Thicke which controlling a joystick that is obviously a phallus.

Because of everyone’s immaturity, Robin turns off the DVD and says they can finish it when they stop turning it into a porno. Lily wonders whatever happened to Jessica Glitters. Robin explains that they were best friends on the show and in real life until about five years ago. But Jessica still sends a Christmas card. Robin leaves and Ted decides to do some math. He finds Jessica’s last card and asks Lily to determine the age of Jessica’s child. She quickly says “Four years, three months.” That means that Robin and Jessica’s friendship fell apart because Jessica had a child. Especially since Robin doesn’t like children. Lily starts crying because she realizes she’s going to lose Robin.

Marshall convinces Lily to spend time with Robin and to not talk about babies or her pregnancy. And she does, but her resolve only lasts about 10 seconds. She tells Robin she’s going to have a baby as Robin correctly points out that Lily isn’t pregnant yet. They argue and decide not to be friends anymore. But Marshall doesn’t give Lily the comfort she wants because he thinks she’s in the wrong. Then he gives in and hugs her anyway. And then he takes her to Madison Square Garden and introduces her to the Rangers’ organist—Jessica!

Lily asks Marshall how he found Robin’s old friend and he gets into a long story that Jessica spares us from. Turns out that Barney found her in an attempt to buy her costume from Space Teens. As Jessica plays, complete with Lily and Marshall clapping along, she and Lily talk. It turns out Robin wasn’t the one who broke off the friendship, it was Jessica. She got pregnant and different priorities. She grew apart from Robin, who tried to maintain the friendship. Lily realizes she’s doing the same thing with Robin and runs out.

She finds Robin drowning her sorrows at the Hoser Hut, New York’s Canadian bar. Lily apologizes and says she was afraid Robin’s hatred of children would come between them. Robin says that she hates most children, but she’s going to love Lily’s. Which makes sense as we saw in the episode where she dated the man with a son, Robin goes on to have a pretty good relationship with Ted’s kids. They hug as the men approach the women. As the tender moment continues, Robin hears a familiar tune. She recognizes it as “The Beaver Song,” which she wouldn’t let Ted and Barney listen to for obvious reasons. She wants to know which one put on “The Beaver Song.”

But when she turns around, she sees it’s Jessica. They sing the song and despite it being innuendo-tastic, everyone treats the song as the warm song about friendship Robin kept insisting it was. In the end, everyone gets in on the song—even Alan Thicke, who was hiding behind the bar with two beavers for some reason.

Now for the “B” plot: While watching “Space Teens” and discussing the end of Robin’s relationship with Jessica, Ted reveals he is still friends with his childhood best friend—Punchy. Marshall argues that it isn’t much of a relationship: Ted and Punchy see each other once a year, Punchy punches him and reminds everyone of the time Ted crapped his pants. Ted decides to prove Marshall wrong and calls Punchy. They yell at each other and it ends with Ted telling Punchy “if you’re ever in New York.” He tells the others he feels bad for his friend, being stuck in Cleveland and in a dead end job.

And then Punchy ends up at Ted’s! Robin agrees to let Punchy crash on their couch. Punchy and Ted go to Times Square, which Punchy loved. Ted talks about the other New York sights, but Punchy only wants to see Times Square. Punchy ends up annoying every one of Ted’s friends and finally Ted himself. When Ted tells Punchy this, Punchy confesses that Ted’s call concerned him. We see him talking to a pretty brunette about how he worries about Ted, who she knows was left at the altar. Punchy tells her that he’s away from his family, lives in a little apartment that’s no where near Times Square and hasn’t found the right woman yet. Pretty Brunette suggests he surprise Ted and cheer him up. Ted says that Pretty Brunette sounds special and Punchy agrees. That’s why he’s going to marry her. And he wants Ted to be his best man. Ted agrees.

So, we got a nice Lily-Robin storyline, more Robin Sparkles, and Nicole Scherzinger. Also, we now know that the wedding in the season premiere is Punchy’s—so Ted will meet his future wife there. Looking forward to it? And will we see more of Robin Sparkles in the future?

Moment of the Episode:

While Marshall’s face and Barney’s posture during the almost slap was funny, I think I loved the tag more—Jessica and Robin singing “The Beaver Song” with Alan Thicke and representations of Canada.

Of Horses and Rats

Last week on “I’d Do Anything”: The top twelve girls performed in the first (not-so) live show. They also went to a real East End market to see if they could impress the locals while the final Olivers went to magic school. In the end, Gwion was put through to the finals while Amy and Francesca were sent to the sing-off. In the end, Andrew chose to save Francesca and Amy turned in her locket. Who will go home tonight? Stay tuned or check Wikipedia (but that’s cheating!).

Graham suit watch: Red and gold. He welcomes the audience to the second (not-so) live show. At least John and Denise dropped the jazz hands. The eleven finalists come out to sing “Oom Pah Pah” from Oliver! Has anyone on this show every thanked the choreographer? Just wondering.

We go back to Graham, who reminds us that the voting public (in the UK in 2008) gets to choose the Nancy. But the Olivers will be chosen by Andrew, Cameron and the panel. Our panel is John Barrowman, Denise van Outen and Dame Edna, who now knows to bow to Andrew as the Phantom theme plays. Tonight, he’s looking for a sense of humor, vulnerability and steel. More puns abound and references to British celebrities.

First up, Niamh and Cleo. Niamh says she used to be Wednesday Addams for Halloween, but she wants to show a different side. She also befriended her back up dancers. Cleo says she felt like a star last week. She says she focused on her music and her Nancy journey. Niamh sings “I Got the Music in Me.” Her vocal is great and she seems to be having fun with the song. Not much interaction with the male dancers beyond the middle part. Cleo sings “Feelin’ Good.” I don’t really remember Cleo’s voice from when I watched this back in 2008, but on a second listen, I really like it. Particularly for this song.

The girls join Graham. Niamh says she’s been craving olives while Cleo eats lots of veggies. Denise says Niamh was a winning horse. So, we’re going with horse allusions? She wonders if Niamh is physically appropriate. Denise liked Cleo but says she looks pained while performing. Barry loved both girls. He says he can see Niamh on album covers and he liked Cleo’s performance. John says he sees star potential in both. He tells Cleo to connect with the words. Andrew loved both girls as well.

Coming up: Samantha gets compared to Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Keisha and Samantha are our next Nancy’s. Keisha loves being compared to Shirley Bassie. She hopes to do even better this week. Samantha says she normally doesn’t show her legs and holds up the shorts they put her in. She said they made her feel like a different girl. She says she can take on anything. Keisha sings “Get the Party Started.” I don’t think this is a great song to show off her vocal prowess but it definitely shows off her fun side. In my head, vocally, she’s being compared to P!nk and that’s unfair because they have completely different sounds. Samantha sings “See the Day.” Samantha’s song choice is much better and her vocal is beautiful. She connects with the words and the emotions behind it.

The girls are not asked questions. Graham goes straight to John. He calls Keisha “bland” and says Samantha was blank behind the eyes. Did I switch to Top Model? Denise agrees with John regarding Keisha, but not with Samantha. She says she was vulnerable. Barry calls Keisha “feisty” and Samantha “magnificent.” He calls Samantha a young and more interesting Catherine Zeta-Jones. Andrew is last. He thinks Keisha has it but she needs to go further. He also disagrees with John.

Coming up: Panel loves Francesca.

Francesca is up next, all by herself since she’s odd woman out. She worries her professional experience is preventing her from getting the votes. Hey, is that Claire Moore? West End leading lady? She’s their vocal coach? Anyway, Francesca will be singing “Somebody to Love” from Queen. Or as Graham puts it, the Queen musical “We Will Rock You.” Really? It’s from Queen. I’m thinking she got “vulnerable Nancy” this week…I think. I can read vulnerable in that performance. This was the version on my iPod until Glee did the song, but it’s just as beautiful. Francesca thanks her fellow competitors for helping her get through being in the final two. John doesn’t think Francesca will avoid the bottom two but he loved the performance. Barry loved her as well. Denise thought her performance was gritty and fantastic. Andrew is glad he saved her and saw the grit.

Coming up: Adorableness overload dead ahead.

The Oliver’s are sent on a task. They went to meet the cast of Billy Elliot for an acting lesson. The boys get to have fun backstage—trying on tutus, getting wigs and facial hair. Laurence got sick and went home. The other boys practice with the Billy Elliots. Now they go before Cameron and Andrew. Then they have a group performance. So, who will be joining Gwion in the final? We’ll find out soon but Laurence rejoins the boys to sing “Electricity” from Billy Elliot. The judges give the boys a standing ovation. Andrew says he’s pleased with their progression. Andrew announces that Chester goes through. I love his voice—he was my favorite Oliver. Graham asks if he has a favorite Nancy. Chester starts with the politically correct answer that he loves them all, but he then chooses Jodie. She’s touched.

Could be Oliver:

Gareth

Jordan

Harry

Joseph

Sam

Chester

Arthur

Gwion

Kwayedza

Alexander

Jonny

Laurence

Coming up: Sarah could be Glinda.

Rachel and Sarah are the next two Nancy’s up. Rachel loves being on stage. She says she’s going to keep fighting. Sarah loved that she was called a leading lady. She said it was torture waiting to hear her fate. And her little brother is adorable. Rachel sings “Beautiful.” I love Rachel’s voice. I like the inner strength she’s putting out even as she’s showing her vulnerability. Sarah sings “Piece of my Heart.” I love how they did Sarah’s hair this week. And I think Sarah is the first one to show Nancy’s steel, as Andrew called it.

Graham goes straight to the panel. John says Rachel gave him chills. He doesn’t think Sarah had the edge. Were we watching the same performance? Barry called her performance “big.” He thinks Sarah could be in the Wizard of Oz as one of the witches. Sarah for Wicked! Denise called Rachel  “mind-blowing” and liked her acting. Denise comments that a cameraman went down as we hear an off-camera thud. But going back to Sarah, she doesn’t see her as Nancy. Andrew liked how she turned “I am beautiful” into a triumphant statement. Andrew thinks Sarah could be Nancy.

Coming up: Tara doesn’t really impress.

We return for Tara and Jodie. Tara was convinced she was going home and was so happy to hear Graham call her name. What’s up with the green scarf? Jodie has an up tempo song but she got sick during the week. She goes on vocal rest. Tara says it’s spooky and Niamh says she hopes Jodie gets her voice back for the entertainment Jodie prepares. Tara sings “Without You.” I can see the vulnerability and I like her acting. So far, it’s a nice performance. I don’t think she can reach the high notes, though. Jodie sings “I’m Every Woman.” Her performance is much better than Tara’s, I find. You wouldn’t know she had vocal problems this week and the song suits her voice.

Jodie coughs as Graham goes to the panel. Denise saw the vulnerability like I did but she thought the song was too big for Tara. She loved Jodie. She warns Jodie not to go back to her cabaret background. John loved Tara’s performance and calls Jodie a contender. Barry thought Tara improved. And he calls Jodie raunchy and powerful. Andrew didn’t like Tara trying to riff like Mariah Carey. He didn’t the song choices for the two.

Coming up: Ashley is up.

Our final two Nancy’s are Ashley and Jessie. Ashley says her friends are supporting her and her mother came to see her. We see her perform a sock poppet show for the girls. Jessie says she is working on her posture. She wears heels, even in bed. And the girls of Chicago the musical help her as well. Ashley sings “Mercy.” I don’t like the dress they put her in. But her performance isn’t as bad as her dress is. I think I prefer to her version of this song over Duffy’s! Jessie sings “Killing Me Softly.” When I was working, I swear the radio station I listen to played this everyday at the same time. I always heard when I was driving to the office. But I love Jessie’s version. It’s so soft and warm.

Denise is the first up. She says the girls did listen to her notes. She called Ashley brilliant and is pleased Jessie worked on her posture. John thinks both commanded the stage. He calls Jessie “perfection.” Barry loved them as well. He says Jessie has Nancy’s qualities. He wanted a bit more warmth from Ashley but calls her an attractive Fergie. Andrew thinks Ashley has a lot of potential while Andrew was impressed with Jessie’s talent.

Coming up: RATS!

We get a recap of all the performances. Graham talks to the Nancy’s about how they are feeling after their performances. Keisha says she’s a fighter. Graham says that they wanted the final 11 to experience Nancy’s terror of Bill Sykes. So, they decided to scare them. With RATS! In cages. If you want to scare me, it’ll take bugs and not rats. We had pet rats in my dorm. Both Niamh and Rachel get over their fear and hold the rats. They turn the corner and run into Denise, who brought along an actor friend to play Bill Sykes. Denise was impressed with Sarah’s performance as well as Rachel, who started crying. Samantha forgot her line. Denise didn’t think that Jessie was focused and wasn’t impressed with Jodie. They come back and Andrew is holding a rat. Denise says it was an eye-opening task while Andrew really cuddles that rat.

The final 11 perform “Enough is Enough.” I like Keisha and Niamh in the group numbers. Andrew calls out Niamh, Jessie and Rachel. Barry calls out Niamh and Rachel. John picks out Ashley and Cleo. We won’t know who Denise would’ve picked.

Coming: The elimination.

We get to meet Chester. He’s a Doctor Who fan and likes to cook. He also has an adorable pet bunny. The Oliver’s treat us to a rendition of Pie Jesu. They played this song over the loudspeakers at the Great Sleepover in the Park during World Youth Day 2002 (which was in Toronto). I remember hearing it as I walked back from the rows of port-a-potties to where my youth group had set up camp. It was a great song to try and fall asleep to it. And then they started the concert. At 3 AM.

And as Graham’s suit has changed, we are now watching the results show. The panel picks their “not Nancy”. John: Samantha. (Was that Barry who yelled “What?”) Denise: Keisha. Barry: Keisha. Time to reveal who is safe and who isn’t. Ashley and Niamh are both safe. Jessie and Jodie could still be Nancy. They hug and leave the stage. Samantha is safe as well. Francesca is spared the sing-off as she is safe. Rachel and Sarah are both safe. Cleo, Tara and Keisha form a line. Keisha is in the sing-off. Now it’s between Cleo and Tara. And Tara is safe. Cleo and Keisha are in the sing-off. If it were up to viewers alone, Keisha would be out. But Andrew could save her.

Coming up: Who does Andrew save?

Cleo and Keisha will sing “I Know Him So Well” from the musical “Chess.” Oh, this is a tough call. Both had good vocals and acted the song. But I think Keisha had an extra spark that Cleo didn’t. Good luck, Andrew. He calls this the most difficult situation he’s ever had. He decides to save Keisha. She stops breathing for a few seconds and then goes to join the other girls. Andrew says he wasn’t happy with the results and he knows she has a bright future. She says she’ll keep performing and get better. The final ten sing “Be Back Soon” before Cleo starts “As Long As He Needs Me.” Keisha takes off her locket before she runs up the stairs to finish the song.

Could Be Nancy:

Amy

Keisha

Cleo

Sarah

Rachel

Jodie

Samantha

Ashley

Jessie

Francesca

Niamh

Tara

Sad to see Cleo go. It’s strange because I did watch this in a way before, so I know the results. It’s hard not to let that skewer some of my comments, though I do see how my opinions have changed in two years. Last time, I thought Cleo deserved to go. This time, it almost pained me to think so. Anyway, did the right person go home?

Next week: It’s the musical themed episode!

Quote of the Episode:

“You put the vamp back in vampire.”—Andrew to Niamh.

Getting Lost in Milan

Last week on Top Model: We had the final six, which meant it was time to go abroad! And the girls went from Venice Beach, CA to Venice, Italy! After some food and getting pooped on, the girls had a photoshoot with a sexy guy. After, the girls continued on to Milan and met with the powers that be at Missoni. At panel, Kayla rose to the top while Chris and Liz fell to the bottom two. In the end, Liz and her complaints were sent packing. Five girls remain, who will be sent back Stateside this week? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

MILAN! Kayla goes home to see her picture. Chris remembers being in the bottom two. She says she doesn’t want to go home, but she’s preparing herself for that possibility. Chris worries that they may get rid of two. If they hold true to the past seasons, that’ll be next week, Chris. Kayla thinks Chris is just doing this to get her face out there, not to be a real model. Jane calls home and her mother plays “Guess where my baby is.” She thinks she made a good decision in quitting Princeton.

TYRA MAIL! “Prepare to fare una buona impressione.” For those who can’t figure that out—it’s make a good impression. GO-SEES! Chelsey is excited because she knows how to do that. But she still wants best photo. The girls make up their portfolios as Ann worries about her shyness.

MILAN! The girls get off the Milan Model Mobile to meet…Tyra. She’s at the IMG offices and mentors the girls as if she were their agent. Tyra tells them to not think they know what is best, but to listen to those who know the business. Tyra tells the girls this is what they do at panel. Chelsey plays Andre and Chris plays Tyra. And they nail the judges. She tells the girls to smile and introduces them to Giovanni and Andrea. The girls are going to Versace. THEY GOT VERSACE? Wait, why am I surprised? They got Versace last time they were in Italy. And the girls will not be taking the Milan Model Mobile, but Milan Public Transportation. And they have to be back by 6:30 PM.

Chris and Jane pair up and head to Versace. Kayla and Chelsey team up and Ann tags along. Chris and Jane happen to be across the street from Versace. They go in and Chris asks Versace what he looks for—he says attitude and a good walk. Jane then comes in. Meanwhile, the other three are still trying to find Versace. Here’s a hint girls—the street names are on the buildings in Europe.

Commercials!

MILAN! The trio is still trying to get around Milan. They finally find Versace. Meanwhile, Chris and Jane are now walking. Jane needs to work on the walk, but he thinks she is fresh. I like the outfits the girls are wearing. Chris is called “80’s.” Chelsey walks next. She said she didn’t think the guy thought she was super-special. He really thought she was two seasons ago. Kayla follows. He likes her for editorial, not show. Chelsey goes off on her own after. Oh, hey, she figured out where the signs are as Jane and Chris finds a map. We go back to Versace where Ann walks. Versace loves Ann. Ann and Kayla split up as Chelsey tries to find someone to help her. Someone takes pity on her and guides her to the right train.

Kayla goes in circles while Jane and Chris are confused by the metro. Ann kept trying to get directions as Chelsey arrives at Global Casting. The casting director likes her. Jane and Chris limp back to IMG as Chris got injured. Ann gets frustrated because she got lost in her own hometown. Chelsey gets back to IMG. But Kayla and Ann are disqualified. Ann gets back at ten to seven. Kayla bursts in at a quarter after. Ann is told to work on her body, Chelsey has a nice body, Chris was the only one to ask a question, etc. Chelsey wins and gets prizes from Versace. Nice.

TYRA MAIL! “Soon I’m going to make you look marbleous.” Oh, Tyra.

The Milan Model Mobile takes the girls to a beautiful house where they meet Mr. Jay and Nigel. Mr. Jay asks about Chris’ foot, she says she’s a bit sore but she’ll be fine. She knows Top Model is all about being a trooper. The girls will be turned into statues and posing with their sculptor. Sorry, Kayla, it’s another male model. His love brings the sculpture to life. And their sculptor? Simone. Ann thinks she’ll do well because she likes art.

Jane is up first. Jane thinks that being called “stiff” might work now she’s a statue. Mr. Jay calls her pose-y and tries to get her to bring out her passion. Nigel tells her to be a model. Mr. Jay tells her to stop thinking and Jane starts to cry. She says she thinks she blew it and Mr. Jay tells her to not try to be perfect, to be herself. She says she’s still trying to figure that out. She promises to do better.

Commercials.

Chelsey is up next. Nigel greets her and walks away. Chelsey remains standing and Nigel yells “Follow me.” She asks if she can touch the model. Nigel’s like, “Duh.” But she nails it. Not much else to say. Meanwhile, Kayla feeds Chris some grapes as she’s being painted. Ann is third up. And she really connects with the theme and the model. Mr. Jay says he could see her passion for art. Kayla shakes hands with Simone and jumps into the shoot. She’s come a long way from the woman who had a near nervous breakdown at the thought of kissing the male model. Mr. Jay says he wants to give her a hug but he doesn’t want to get dirty. Chris finishes the day and promises to not let her foot get in the way of her modeling. And she doesn’t at first, but the pain gets worse and it starts to affect her. Nigel tells her to embrace the pain.

That’s a wrap! And someone’s going home. Ann calls it “make it or break it” time. Chris and Jane are worried.

Commercials.

MILAN! The panel goofs off. Bring in the girls! There are judges—Andre and Nigel. And the guest judge is IMG manager Kyle Hagler. There are prizes. Tyra takes her seat and calls Kayla forward. She didn’t book Versace. Nigel loved her pose. Kyle liked the connection between her and the other model. Tyra calls her stunning. Chelsey is next and gets applauded for winning the challenge. She booked the casting agent. Nigel said she was a surprise and he loved her. Andre says she lost her neck and Tyra doesn’t think it reads “MODEL!” Chris is third and didn’t book anything either. She didn’t really impress. Ann booked Versace but was late. The panel loves Ann but tells her to work on the personality. Jane was last and didn’t book anything. Andre liked the bottom half of Jane, but not the top half. Nigel liked when she broke down and Tyra asks why. She says it is tough being told she has no personality. Kyle tells her it’s not about “no personality,” she just has to show it.

Before Tyra sends them off, she tells the girls that they need to make their go-sees. Kyle likens it to not going to work.

Commercials.

The judges deliberate. Nigel liked Kayla. Kyle thinks Kayla is international. They worry about Ann personality. Kyle sees Ann in high-fashion. Chelsey could be anything, according to Kyle. Chris would be commercial while Andre calls her the next Wanda Sykes. Nigel isn’t too thrilled with Jane. Kyle thinks she needs to come out of the shell but will need more time.

ELIMINATION! The first name is Kayla. She celebrates. She is joined by Chelsey and Ann. Chelsey gets commended for being knowledgeable and passionate while Ann is told to be memorable. That leaves Chris and Jane in the bottom two. This is a bit difficult. Chris: “Effervescent personality” and took good picture. But the judges don’t feel she is as invested. Jane: Takes good pictures but has a personality issue. Who stays? Jane. Girl, find your personality! She’s staying because she cried. That’s pretty much what Tyra’s saying. Chris gets her hug and Tyra tells her to focus on acting classes. She has a gift there.

Chris hugs the girls and says she’ll do it all—model, act, and sing. She wants to keep going. Go, Chris! I’ll watch you on a show!

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Competition is getting tougher, though girls getting lost while going on go-sees is nothing new to this competition. Hey, it’s why we love watching the go-see episodes—to see how totally lost they get and how unhelpful the locals can be. As we head closer to the finale, I know I’ve been saying I can see an Ann-Kayla walk off. But now, I’m predicting a Chelsey-Kayla walk off. And in that, I can see both taking the crown. What about you?

Next week: The girls meet the editor-in-chief of Italian Vogue while Tyra directs them in a commercial. We’re almost done!

Quote of the Episode:

“I need a model!” Nigel at the photoshoot.

A Night at the Museum

In tonight’s episode of “How I Met Your Mother,” the role of MacLaren’s will be played by the Museum of Natural History.

Thanks to GNB, the gang gets invited to the museum’s annual gala. It was difficult for me to decide who to give the “A” plot to—Ted and Zoey or Marshall and Lily (Barney and Robin automatically get the “C” plot). But just because of how much time was dedicated to their plot, it goes to…

A: Ted and Zoey! Ted discovers that Zoey has written an Op-Ed piece about GNB tearing down The Arcadian. And she mentioned Ted quite a few times. This could easily be ignored, but the Op-Ed piece was published on Saturday. And as Future!Ted tells us, that’s crossword day. And Zoey’s letter? Right atop Ted’s beloved crossword puzzle. He’s upset but doesn’t let it spoil his night. In the museum, Ted shows Lily and Marshall an architectural quirk: if you stand in one spot and whisper, someone on the other side can hear it. (Note: You can actually do that in Grand Central Station). He tests it with several instances of potty humor. And that’s when he spots Zoey, in a nice black dress and a diamond necklace.

Ted and Zoey have a confrontation, wherein Ted meets her husband—The Captain, a friend of Marshall’s boss Arthur. Played by Kyle MacLachlan! He then spends some time mocking her for being a kept woman, and a rich housewife with nothing better to do than protest. Zoey starts to tear up, which Ted says won’t work. (Future!Ted tells us it does). Now, you see, The Captain is called such because he really, really loves his boats. And Zoey cries that she doesn’t like the boat and uses it as a metaphor for her life. She says that she wants to save the Arcadian because it represents the stability she doesn’t have in her life. Ted praises the Arcadian and insults GNB. Zoey records it. She played Ted!

Ted mopes as he realizes he is royally screwed when The Captain finds him. Ted explains what has happened and earns The Captain’s sympathy. The Captain says he’ll erase Zoey’s tapes when she’s asleep. He doesn’t seem to be too fond of his wife’s activities, calling them her “tantrums.” Ted, though, says not to and says he admires Zoey’s passion. And he happens to say it in the spot where someone on the other side of the room can hear your conversation. And guess who happens to be across the room? Zoey. Later, she and Ted share a dance as she erases his comment. She says she’ll fight fairly from now on. They share a moment as the episode ends.

Plot “B”: Lily believes that Marshall is still just biding his time at GNB until he can become an environmental lawyer and save the world. But he hasn’t told her something—he was offered a five year contract at GNB. Lily finds out when Arthur calls Barney and Marshall “the future of GNB” while introducing The Captain. After everyone leaves, she tells Marshall to let Arthur know he’s turning down the offer at the office so as not to ruin the party. She knows about that because she broke up with Scooter at the prom right before the pictures. We cut to a ticked off Lily posing with a crying David Burtka (By the by, congrats to Burka and Harris on fatherhood!). We cut back to Marshall telling Lily that he accepted Arthur’s offer.

Later, Marshall confesses to Lily that he doesn’t want to leave GNB. He likes working there. Lily says that she married the guy who wanted to save the world, the man who hated people who wore suits, who despised the corporate world. Namely, Marshall as he was in college. Marshall argues that he changed, that everyone changes. Lily doesn’t want to hear that and walks off. It is also fun to note that during the entire conversation, Ted kept whispering more potty humor from the other side of the room.

Later, Lily goes wandering through the museum. She stumbles upon an exhibit marked “College Marshall.” He offers a bite of his sandwich (and any long time viewer of HIMYM knows exactly what a sandwich is) but Lily says she’s upset with her Marshall. College Marshall worries that he’s cheated on her or been mean to her. Lily assures him that’s not it. It’s just that…he’s become corporate, everything they were against in college. Lily tells College Marshall she wants him—the man she fell in love with. He points to the sign below him. It reads “College Marshall (Extinct).” He tells her she can’t have him anymore. Marshall comes up and reveals that while he’s no longer the Save-the-World Marshall Lily fell in love with in college, he’s still entirely in love with her and completely devoted to her. Lily agrees to give this new Marshall a chance.

But Future!Ted brings us to Marshall working for GNB and says that he enjoyed working there for sometime. But as the camera zooms out, it reveals he’s a display at the museum: “Corporate Marshall (Extinct).” Yes, Marshall’s going to leave GNB, but that’s a story for another day according to Future!Ted. And you know the children are now panicking because that means the story is NEVER GOING TO END.

Plot “C”: Barney and Robin time! On the way over to the museum, Barney tells about the time he and his Uncle Jerry went to the museum. Uncle Jerry told Barney not to touch anything. So what does Little Barney do? Touch things! It got to the point that he caused the giant blue whale to crash to the ground. No one believes his story, even as he says he’s impressed security let him back in. When Arthur tells the gang not to touch anything, Barney immediately runs off and tries to touch something. Robin joins him and they try to outdo each other. By the time security catches up with them, Barney is decked in Egyptian garb and Robin has taken a stuffed penguin from an exhibit.

The security guard isn’t phased as he reveals a lot of people can’t resist the urge to touch the exhibits. He recalls one epic example of a six-years-old causing the giant blue whale to crash from the ceiling. Robin can’t believe what she just heard and Barney asks if the security recalls the name of the little boy. The security guard doesn’t know off-hand but he does pull the file. He says the story is legend—pulls out the file, throws it down—dary. And the name of the wayward youth? Barney Stinson. Robin can’t believe it as Barney celebrates.

But then the security guard throws Barney a curveball—he says that the minor was released into the custody of his father. Barney insisted that the guard meant “uncle,” but he shows Barney the paperwork where Jerry checked off “father.” Barney is shell-shocked. The man he thought was his Uncle Jerry was really his father. And that day at the museum when he was six? The last time he saw the man. Barney asks Robin not to tell anyone. She agrees.

While not a laugh-out-loud episode, it had its moments. Particularly Marshall and Lily’s fight as Ted whispered potty humor interrupted them. Their storyline felt a bit weak. I’m sure Lily isn’t the same woman she was in college, but I guess I understand why she would want to hold on to College Marshall. But at least she’s willing to grow with him. I liked the battle between Ted and Zoey. Jennifer Morrison and Josh Radnor have good chemistry. And my friend thought they had buried Barney’s father’s storyline when he refused to look at the name. But I figured they were going to bring it back somehow. I like this way—and the fact that Barney DID know his father.

Quote of the Episode:

"I wish I knew you in college because you can't knee a story." –Robin, after hearing a story about how Lily and Marshall were jerks to a guy because he was in a suit. Turns out, he was going to a funeral.

Sorry for the delay!

I’d Do Anything For You, Dear…

Welcome to “I’d Do Anything!” It’s time for the first (not-so) live concert!

Our opening this time is a bunch of Nancys arguing over a locket as a pack of boys help her.

Graham suit watch: Blue and burgundy. I hate burgundy after my cousin made me wear it at her wedding. He welcomes the fan and the band. Looks like John Barrowman and Denise van Outen still like their jazz hands. Our final twelve Nancy’s sing “I’d Do Anything.” I really like the dresses this competition. The final twelve Olivers join them as well. They have a cute dance sequence. That was a great opening.

Graham welcomes us to the show and the first puns. The winning Nancy will be chosen by the public. The winning three Oliver’s will be chosen by Andrew, Cameron Mackintosh, and the panel. Who are: John Barrowman, Denise van Outen and new judge, Dame Edna herself! Yes, Barry Humphries. He was in the original production of Oliver! and has played Fagin twice. And of course, Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber is back with his Phantom intro. Webber loves his throne. He can save one Nancy each week until the final when the public takes over. Andrew says he is looking for: don’t know. He blathers on about how everyone is going to have a different view of who Nancy is. Andrew reveals that Ben is in Hairspray, Daniel is in Avenue Q and Seamus will be in Evita.

Coming Up: Jodie is no stranger to reality shows.

We come back as Graham explains that Nancy is a tough East End girl who is the accomplice of Fagin who saves Oliver but dies at the hands of her boyfriend. Our first two Nancy wannabes are Jessie and Jodie. Jessie was turned down by drama schools twice. She is from Killarney and a family of 7. Jodie is from Blackpool. She sings to her animals and she is a pretty happy woman. The girls will be singing songs that show case their leading lady potential. Jessie sings “River Deep, Mountain High.” I’d like to point out they put the Nancy from Ireland in green. I just heard Amber Riley and Naya sing this on “Glee” and…I think I prefer Jessie’s version. She captures the stage and doesn’t let it go. Jodie sings “Chasing Pavements.” Jodie has a sweet voice but it sounds like it’s breaking in a few places, like she didn’t rest it properly.

Jodie and Jessie come before the panel. Graham asks if they thought they’d be there. They’re still shocked they are there. To the panel! John goes first. He thinks both are serious contenders. He calls Jessie a “wild Irish pony.” He thinks she connected with everybody and told a story. We move to Denise. She calls them vocally beautiful. She tells Jessie to watch her posture and says she felt Jodie gave a heartfelt performance. Barry says that both girls would outshine him if he were to play Fagin opposite them. He calls Jessie beautiful and Jodie tough but tender. Finally, we come to Andrew. He asks if Jodie won the Biggest Loser. She says she lost 8 and half stone (I looked it up—roughly 112 pounds), which Andrew says that was equal to Jessie. She comments she wish. He says that both girls could be Nancy.

Coming up: Denise warning someone about jazz hands?

Next up are Tara and Ashley. Tara’s dad is a wrestler “El Bandito” and was raised in the dressing room. She’s worked on a Welsh soap and is leaving Cardiff. She says she believes in work hard, play hard. Ashley is from Scotland and talks about her grandmothers. They say they are proud of her. She was fired the day before her Nancy audition. Tara sings “Suddenly I See.” I forgot how beautiful Tara’s voice is. I thought she was higher than she really is. So far, she is the best mover. Ashley sings “Black Velvet.” I’m going to be honest right now. I was not a big fan of Ashley back when I was watching this on YouTube during the initial British run. So, if I get mean, sorry. Right now, the song is perfectly suited for her voice but it doesn’t strike me as strong enough for musical theater.

Graham asks Tara and Ashley who would win in a fight? Tara says she would or else her father would put her in a hold. He warns the panel that El Bandito is in the audience. Denise goes first. She tells them to hold back a bit. Denise thinks she was polished and was a good mover. She likes Ashley’s personality and that she goes too “jazz hands.” Barry calls Tara very modern but that she is a good actress. He thought Ashley was engaging. John calls them leading ladies. He loves Tara’s legs and Ashley’s body. He tells them to rough it up and mimics their accents. Andrew says it isn’t his show, he’s viewing it as an outsider. He does agree with John’s comments about roughing it up.

Coming up: Denise calls a Nancy “hot.”

Now, the Oliver’s take to the stage to sing “Food, Glorious Food.” And it is utterly adorable and well-performed. Graham asks Andrew why there will be three. It’s due to rules and so they can still keep their schoolwork up.

Back to the Nancy’s—Amy and Keisha. Amy is from a council estate. She played Velma in Scooby-Doo and gets cast as the kooky sidekick. She’s excited that she could be a leading lady. Keisha is studying English at school so that she could have a job at the end. But she wants to do theater and wants to prove it. Amy sings “Respect.” Come on, ladies, we all know this. It’s like “I Will Survive.” I don’t know why she went with Respect. You really need a soulful voice like Aretha’s to pull this song off. It’s good to sing at karaoke after a few drinks, but not on a singing competition. Keisha sings “Mad About the Boy.” Her voice has a great jazz sound to it. You know what? If “Memphis” ever makes a West End transfer, Keisha should seriously be considered for the role of “Felicia.” I can see her raising the theater roof with “Someday” or even “Love Stands When All Else Falls.”

Keisha tells Graham she speaks her mind and is built like this. John wants Amy to open up her vocal and wondered if Keisha was too sophisticated for Nancy. Barry recognized her song but thinks she’d kill Bill Sykes. She calls Amy a great comedic actress. Denise liked Amy’s performance and calls Keisha “hot.” She also loved her voice. Andrew calls Keisha a young “Shirley Bassie.” He considers accents, the Cockney accent will be important.

Coming: John’s “fantastic” comments come back! Remember those?

Our next two Nancy’s are Francesca and Rachel. Francesca has done “Tonight’s the Night” and was Rachel’s understudy. She played Joanne in Rent: Remixed. With Denise van Outen, a judge. But she’s there on her own merits. Rachel says some of the girls look up to her as she had professional experience. She said Nancy is a part she always wanted to play. Francesca sings “Hero.” Oh, yes, Francesca got there on her own merits. I like this version better than Mariah Carey’s. Then again, the only song of Mariah’s I like is “All I Want For Christmas is You.” I prefer anyone else but Mariah singing. But I forgot how much I loved Francesca’s voice. I think I need to go get this from my YouTube source. Rachel sings “About You Now.” She is a leading lady. But her on a stage and she’ll shine on it. I think I have to get this song as well. How did I miss these two?

Graham goes straight to Denise. She thinks Francesca’s performance proves she could be Nancy but she wants her to sing something more gritty next week. She liked how raw and rough Rachel’s performance was. John calls Francesca solid with some pitch problems. He campaigned for Rachel and called her “Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic!” Barry calls Francesca “classy” and Rachel “tough and saucy and beautiful.” Andrew notes that they have competition with people thinking they will deliver more being professional. He says Francesca was better in rehearsal and loved Rachel.

Coming up: Magic!

Each week, the Oliver’s will performed and be sent on tasks. Their first challenge is to see how they can take direction. They are practicing under Cameron’s eyes. Paul Kieve comes in to teach Oliver magic because Oliver needs to be nimble-fingered. Andrew watches as they show off their skills. They also acted as well. So, who will be the first possible Oliver is little Gwion. Aww. Since they won’t be “eliminated,” those put through to the semi-finals will be bolded. Gwion said he would perform for all of Wales if he gets to be Oliver.

Could be Oliver:

Gareth

Jordan

Harry

Joseph

Sam

Chester

Arthur

Gwion

Kwayedza

Alexander

Jonny

Laurence

We continue with Samantha and Sarah. Samantha is 17 and already made a CD. She calls this her opportunity. Sarah has five jobs but wants just to be one job. Sarah and I have a similar problem—we both look younger than we are. Though I don’t think I’m as bad as Sarah. Samantha sings “I Love Rock and Roll.” Samantha has a lovely voice but this song requires someone with a rawer voice, a rocker voice. I love how she looks at the end. Maybe because I recap “America’s Next Top Model” before watching this, but that stroke me as a great shot that Tyra would love. Sarah sings “Get Here.” Sarah’s voice is beautiful. I’m just going to enjoy her performance, excuse me.

Graham asks the two how it is in the Nancy house. They are roommates and so far, so good. Barry liked Sarah’s warmth while he calls Samantha “mesmerizing.” John says Samantha could run away with the competition. He tells Sarah that she reminds him of a young Elaine Page. And apparently Sarah played his daughter once. Denise calls Samantha “hot Nancy” and says Sarah has the “Meryl Streep quality.” Andrew tells the band to look at their music, not the performers. He tells Sarah to watch her diction and loved Samantha.

Next up: Barry predicts “The Addams Family” musical.

The last Nancy duo are Cleo and Niamh. Cleo is from Northwest London but she helps out in her community. She calls herself a street girl like Nancy. Niamh talks about moving away at her school. She’s postponing school for the opportunity. Cleo sings “Who Knew.” We see some of the Nancy’s dancing along. I couldn’t escape this song in 2007, like Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.” Of course, I was interning at a radio station…Cleo does this song justice. I think she could bring a bit more of her toughness to the song, but good job. Niamh will be singing “First Cut is the Deepest.” I love Niamh’s look. She’s a memorable beauty. Her voice is also beautiful as well. Not sure if this is the greatest song to show that off, though.

Graham asks if it was more nerve-wrecking to be backstage or waiting to be in the final 12. They agree with the latter. John tells Cleo to be more comfortable and that Niamh won him over. Barry calls Cleo a wonderful actress and says Niamh will be famous. He says she’s a bit spookier and says she could be in the musical version of The Addams Family. And somewhere back in 2008, someone got an idea. Denise says Niamh looks like a young Bernadette Peters and John yells “THAT’S IT!” She calls Cleo “fantastic” and praises her accent. Andrew agrees with Denise about Niamh and calls her a good actress.

Coming up: East End food.

We get recaps of the girls’ performances. And now it’s a Nancy Mission! He sent them to the East End to work in a market. But first, a meal of East End foods—jellied eels and others. Eww. Their judges will be real East End vendors. The girls have fun and enjoy themselves. They start to dance and sing. Sarah and Tara were noted by some of the vendors. Andrew is eating some jellied eels. Graham apologies to everyone eating while watching. The final 12 come out to perform Girls Aloud’s “Sound of the Underground” while Andrew chews and John tries not to hurl.

After that, Graham asks who stood out. Andrew takes the diplomatic way out and says they all stood out. Denise mentions Jodie and Jessie. Barry mentions Samantha and Jessie. We don’t know who John mentions.

Coming up: Elimination!

We get to meet our first potential Oliver—Gwion. I thought I saw Barney in his room, but it was just a purple and green dinosaur. Gwion and the other Oliver’s sing “Bright Eyes.” We segue into the elimination episode, which you can tell because Graham’s suit changes. John says Amy isn’t Nancy. Denise says Tara. Barry says Amy. In no apparent order, the results are revealed. Cleo is safe. Samantha and Rachel are also safe. Tara and Keisha make it through. Ashley and Jodie are safe. The remaining five are asked to step down and form a line. Jessie is through to next week. Francesca is in the bottom two and remains on stage. Niamh is safe. It is between Amy and Sarah. Sarah could still be Nancy meaning Amy must now join Francesca in the sing-off.

Coming up: Amy or Francesca?

Amy and Francesca stand for the sing off. If the voters were the sole deciders, Amy would be out. But the two will now sing “Tell Me On a Sunday,” one of Andrew’s own songs. After, Andrew will choose to save one of them. This is a very beautiful song in which a woman tells her lover how to dump her. Based on the two vocals and the acting, I’d say Francesca did the better job. The girls go to stand before Andrew. And he saves Francesca. She hugs Amy before joining the other girls. Andrew says the standard is so high and she didn’t handle the tuning well. He worries about her and says she should be proud to have come so far.

Now it’s time for the finale. The remaining Nancy’s sing “Be Back Soon” before Amy sings “As Long as He Needs Me.” Francesca takes off Amy’s locket as she climbs the stairs for her big finish. Good-bye, Amy.

Could Still Be Nancy:

Amy

Keisha

Cleo

Sarah

Rachel

Jodie

Samantha

Ashley

Jessie

Francesca

Niamh

Tara

I am so glad they brought “I’d Do Anything” over to BBC-America. And I’m glad that unlike the earlier “Any Dream Will Do” episodes, they are including the Nancy missions. (I still want my loincloth shots, BBC-America!) I feel bad that Amy had to be the first to leave because she looked to be a great personality, but the talent this go around is great. We’re in for some real treats.

Next week: John and Denise disagree. See you then!

Quote of the Episode:

“Too be honest, Graham, I can’t believe I’m here NOW.”—Jessie