A Night at the Museum

In tonight’s episode of “How I Met Your Mother,” the role of MacLaren’s will be played by the Museum of Natural History.

Thanks to GNB, the gang gets invited to the museum’s annual gala. It was difficult for me to decide who to give the “A” plot to—Ted and Zoey or Marshall and Lily (Barney and Robin automatically get the “C” plot). But just because of how much time was dedicated to their plot, it goes to…

A: Ted and Zoey! Ted discovers that Zoey has written an Op-Ed piece about GNB tearing down The Arcadian. And she mentioned Ted quite a few times. This could easily be ignored, but the Op-Ed piece was published on Saturday. And as Future!Ted tells us, that’s crossword day. And Zoey’s letter? Right atop Ted’s beloved crossword puzzle. He’s upset but doesn’t let it spoil his night. In the museum, Ted shows Lily and Marshall an architectural quirk: if you stand in one spot and whisper, someone on the other side can hear it. (Note: You can actually do that in Grand Central Station). He tests it with several instances of potty humor. And that’s when he spots Zoey, in a nice black dress and a diamond necklace.

Ted and Zoey have a confrontation, wherein Ted meets her husband—The Captain, a friend of Marshall’s boss Arthur. Played by Kyle MacLachlan! He then spends some time mocking her for being a kept woman, and a rich housewife with nothing better to do than protest. Zoey starts to tear up, which Ted says won’t work. (Future!Ted tells us it does). Now, you see, The Captain is called such because he really, really loves his boats. And Zoey cries that she doesn’t like the boat and uses it as a metaphor for her life. She says that she wants to save the Arcadian because it represents the stability she doesn’t have in her life. Ted praises the Arcadian and insults GNB. Zoey records it. She played Ted!

Ted mopes as he realizes he is royally screwed when The Captain finds him. Ted explains what has happened and earns The Captain’s sympathy. The Captain says he’ll erase Zoey’s tapes when she’s asleep. He doesn’t seem to be too fond of his wife’s activities, calling them her “tantrums.” Ted, though, says not to and says he admires Zoey’s passion. And he happens to say it in the spot where someone on the other side of the room can hear your conversation. And guess who happens to be across the room? Zoey. Later, she and Ted share a dance as she erases his comment. She says she’ll fight fairly from now on. They share a moment as the episode ends.

Plot “B”: Lily believes that Marshall is still just biding his time at GNB until he can become an environmental lawyer and save the world. But he hasn’t told her something—he was offered a five year contract at GNB. Lily finds out when Arthur calls Barney and Marshall “the future of GNB” while introducing The Captain. After everyone leaves, she tells Marshall to let Arthur know he’s turning down the offer at the office so as not to ruin the party. She knows about that because she broke up with Scooter at the prom right before the pictures. We cut to a ticked off Lily posing with a crying David Burtka (By the by, congrats to Burka and Harris on fatherhood!). We cut back to Marshall telling Lily that he accepted Arthur’s offer.

Later, Marshall confesses to Lily that he doesn’t want to leave GNB. He likes working there. Lily says that she married the guy who wanted to save the world, the man who hated people who wore suits, who despised the corporate world. Namely, Marshall as he was in college. Marshall argues that he changed, that everyone changes. Lily doesn’t want to hear that and walks off. It is also fun to note that during the entire conversation, Ted kept whispering more potty humor from the other side of the room.

Later, Lily goes wandering through the museum. She stumbles upon an exhibit marked “College Marshall.” He offers a bite of his sandwich (and any long time viewer of HIMYM knows exactly what a sandwich is) but Lily says she’s upset with her Marshall. College Marshall worries that he’s cheated on her or been mean to her. Lily assures him that’s not it. It’s just that…he’s become corporate, everything they were against in college. Lily tells College Marshall she wants him—the man she fell in love with. He points to the sign below him. It reads “College Marshall (Extinct).” He tells her she can’t have him anymore. Marshall comes up and reveals that while he’s no longer the Save-the-World Marshall Lily fell in love with in college, he’s still entirely in love with her and completely devoted to her. Lily agrees to give this new Marshall a chance.

But Future!Ted brings us to Marshall working for GNB and says that he enjoyed working there for sometime. But as the camera zooms out, it reveals he’s a display at the museum: “Corporate Marshall (Extinct).” Yes, Marshall’s going to leave GNB, but that’s a story for another day according to Future!Ted. And you know the children are now panicking because that means the story is NEVER GOING TO END.

Plot “C”: Barney and Robin time! On the way over to the museum, Barney tells about the time he and his Uncle Jerry went to the museum. Uncle Jerry told Barney not to touch anything. So what does Little Barney do? Touch things! It got to the point that he caused the giant blue whale to crash to the ground. No one believes his story, even as he says he’s impressed security let him back in. When Arthur tells the gang not to touch anything, Barney immediately runs off and tries to touch something. Robin joins him and they try to outdo each other. By the time security catches up with them, Barney is decked in Egyptian garb and Robin has taken a stuffed penguin from an exhibit.

The security guard isn’t phased as he reveals a lot of people can’t resist the urge to touch the exhibits. He recalls one epic example of a six-years-old causing the giant blue whale to crash from the ceiling. Robin can’t believe what she just heard and Barney asks if the security recalls the name of the little boy. The security guard doesn’t know off-hand but he does pull the file. He says the story is legend—pulls out the file, throws it down—dary. And the name of the wayward youth? Barney Stinson. Robin can’t believe it as Barney celebrates.

But then the security guard throws Barney a curveball—he says that the minor was released into the custody of his father. Barney insisted that the guard meant “uncle,” but he shows Barney the paperwork where Jerry checked off “father.” Barney is shell-shocked. The man he thought was his Uncle Jerry was really his father. And that day at the museum when he was six? The last time he saw the man. Barney asks Robin not to tell anyone. She agrees.

While not a laugh-out-loud episode, it had its moments. Particularly Marshall and Lily’s fight as Ted whispered potty humor interrupted them. Their storyline felt a bit weak. I’m sure Lily isn’t the same woman she was in college, but I guess I understand why she would want to hold on to College Marshall. But at least she’s willing to grow with him. I liked the battle between Ted and Zoey. Jennifer Morrison and Josh Radnor have good chemistry. And my friend thought they had buried Barney’s father’s storyline when he refused to look at the name. But I figured they were going to bring it back somehow. I like this way—and the fact that Barney DID know his father.

Quote of the Episode:

"I wish I knew you in college because you can't knee a story." –Robin, after hearing a story about how Lily and Marshall were jerks to a guy because he was in a suit. Turns out, he was going to a funeral.

Sorry for the delay!