OUAT: Wonderful

Last time on “Once:” Emma met Liam, Hook’s deceased older brother. He didn’t think she was good enough for Hook, which bothered her. Hook, meanwhile, believed Liam didn’t belong in the Underworld and together they were going to figure out how to defeat Hades. Henry had met the Apprentice and figured there was a storybook in the Sorcerer’s mansion. Meanwhile, Liam asked Emma to let Hook move on as Hook wondered if he was worth saving.

As they searched for the book, Hades paid Liam a visit and asked him to remove the pages pertaining to the god. He threatened to reveal the reason why Liam was in the Underworld to Killian and it worked. Liam removed the pages but Emma suspected him. When she told Hook of her suspicions, though, he took Liam’s side and stormed off.

In the past, Liam went to enlist so he could save himself and Killian from their time on Captain Silver’s ship. But when Silver got Killian drunk and tricked him into gambling away his money, Liam’s dreams of serving in the navy were dashed. They continued to sail with Silver until he took the crew on a suicidal mission to retrieve the Eye of the Storm. Liam and Killian led a mutiny and succeeded. But Hades made a deal with Liam and he lied, keeping them on their suicidal mission. In the end, only Liam and Killian made it out alive…but with the jewel. They were rescued by the royal navy of…wherever…and were given commissions on the spot.

Killian learned the truth as Silver and his crew took Liam. Hades taunted the Brothers Jones and Liam almost fell to his death. But when he sacrificed himself for Killian, he earned his place in the Happy Place. It also worked for the sailors he sacrificed, so after a goodbye to Killian—who decided to stay—they headed off to Happy Place.

Hook went back with Emma, determined to learn Hades’ secret and go home with Emma. Meanwhile, we learnt that the pages Liam ripped out featured Hades with Zelena!

dun dun DUN!


We open in the Emerald City, many years ago. Zelena sits in her throne room with a green iced cupcake and a candle. She watches the clip from “Bleeding Through” where Young Cora (Rose McGowan) tells baby Zelena she’s giving her up for Cora’s best chance. Zelena dismisses the scene and blows out her candle with disgust as she vows that Cora will see she gave away the wrong child.

(Happy birthday, Zelena?)

A flying monkey brings in a CGI scarecrow that looks more like Pinocchio as a puppet. Which reminds me—whatever became of August? And did someone ever wake Marco up? Anyway, Zelena reveals that she’s putting together her time traveling spell and needs the symbols of wisdom, courage, love and innocence to pull it off. And she’s going to start with the Scarecrow’s brain.

Dorothy bursts in and tells Zelena to leave the Scarecrow alone. 

(Dorothy's all grown up)

Zelena wonders what she’s doing there and realizes Dorothy used the silver slippers to get back. Dorothy says she heard that Zelena wasn’t really dead and was terrorizing the people of Oz. Zelena guesses the Munchkins blabbed but she’s not scared of Dorothy. But Dorothy says she should be since Dorothy has the love of the people. And a little dog that can pull a rope. It brings a curtain down on Zelena, letting Dorothy, Toto and the Scarecrow escape.

(Go, Toto!)

In present day Underworld, Hades wanders town and thinks about Zelena. He sees the clock move, no doubt Liam leaving, and heads down to his lair.

Rumpelstiltskin is working on a spinning wheel with some hay and Hades asks how much longer it’ll take to open the portal. Rumple is like “Why do I need to do this anyway?” Hades reminds him about the contract and says he needs Rumple’s blood since he can’t bring anyone alive down to the Underworld. He directs Rumple to open the portal in Storybrooke so he can get Zelena’s baby.

("Why do I always end up working for mad people?")

In Storybrooke, Belle goes to visit Neal and Peanut at the convent. She’s talking to them as Mother Superior comes up, asking what brings her there. Belle holds up two bottles and says she brought the formula with “duh,” meaning she’s been doing it routinely. When Mother Superior reaches for the wrong bottle for Peanut, Belle grows suspicious. But Mother Superior insists that everything is fine.

Except it’s not. Mother Superior comes rushing down the stairs with her wand and insists the other one is an imposter. Belle looks her over and then realizes: “Zelena.” With the jig up, she drops her glamor spell and is like “Yep, I’m back and no, I’m not going to explain how I did it.” She wants her baby and no one is going to stop her.

(Not sure there was much of a drastic change...)

As she tries to take Peanut, Rumple opens the portal in the Underworld. It appears in the convent and Belle accuses Zelena of doing it. She insists its not hers as she clutches onto Peanut. Belle manages to wrest the girl from her grip as Mother Superior rescues poor baby Neal. She watches as Belle, Zelena and Peanut are dragged into the portal.

Hades and Rumple watch as the portal closes, surprised that no one has come through it. Rumple is like “Well, that’s interesting” and Hades is more like “Where they hell is the baby?”

The baby is with Belle and Zelena in a wooded area. Belle holds Peanut close and asks Zelena where they are. She replies that she didn’t open the portal so she doesn’t know. All she knows is that she’s injured and she wants her daughter.

Belle isn’t turning Peanut to her at all. She wonders why the sky is red and Zelena starts to panic when she realizes they are in the Underworld. Zelena realizes the portal was for her and her baby—Hades wants them. She begs Belle to give her Peanut so she can protect the baby—despite her magic also being on the fritz—but Belle still refuses. Belle figures Rumple brought her there and goes to find him, taking the baby with her.

(Zelena does look worried)

We return to the Merry Old Land of Oz, where Zelena is tormenting some munchkins. She knows they told Dorothy and demands that they tell her where the Scarecrow is. One insists they don’t know. Zelena calls him Boq right before killing him. Yes, she called him Boq. I even rewound it to double check that’s what she said. The writers decided to put in a Wicked shout out at last. Even better, they made him a Munchkin just like Boq is in the book and musical.

(Boq)

Anyway, the munchkins quiver as someone starts to clap. Zelena turns to find Hades, who introduces himself. She asks if he’s really the god of the dead and he turns his hair into the stupid blue flames. The munchkins flee the stupidity while Zelena pretends to be intrigued by it. She asks what he’s doing in Oz and he says he’s a fan. He’s also heard about her time travel spell and he’s interested in it. She asks if he’s flirting with her and he laughs it off. He asks about the Scarecrow and she says that Dorothy is hiding her. Hades says Dorothy is powerful because she has the love the people. But he says there’s a way for her to defeat Dorothy—Zelena just needs an ally. Like him. She wonders why he’s so interested in her time travel spell but he’s as elusive as Adam and Eddy when discussing future plots. Zelena turns him down and leaves Munchkinland.

(Zelena out)

Snow and Charming go to Granny’s for breakfast. The Blind Witch knows their orders and says she knows all her regulars’ orders. It hits the couple that they are regulars in Hell.  What was supposed to be a quick trip has turned into so much more and they worry about Neal. They want to get a message to him, to try to make sure he doesn’t think they abandoned him. The Blind Witch tells them that there’s a way people in the Underworld can haunt people in the land of the living and suggests they try that.

("Let's go haunt our son!" Baby Neal is going to have so many issues when he's older)

We cut to new pages for the book but Henry doesn’t recall writing them. He says they were just there when he woke up. Jeez, I wish that could happen to me with my manuscripts. No, even better, if the editing happened while I slept. Anyway, none of Henry’s writings provide any help and are pretty mundane. Emma and Regina try to reassure him but he throws a fit and storms off. Emma declares that they officially have a teenager as Hook and Robin exchange bemused step dad looks.

(Henry, the Teenager)

Regina is surprised when someone knocks on the loft door. They answer it and find Zelena on the other side. Regina’s ready to pop a cork, thinking her sister is dead but Zelena assures her she is still alive. Robin asks what she’s doing there and Zelena tells him their daughter is in trouble. And she needs their help to rescue Peanut.

(Surprise!)

Zelena enters her throne room and is surprised to see Hades there. He asks if it’s her birthday and she says she doesn’t know. All she knows is the day her mother abandoned her. She blows out the candle and tries to ignore him. He asks if she’s thinking about her sister and Zelena wonders what he knows about that.

Turns out they have a lot in common. He says his older brother, Zeus, got everything—king of the gods, rules Olympus. And he stopped Hades’ heart before sending him to rule the Underworld. He can’t feel love or joy or happiness. The only way to restart it is to share True Love’s Kiss because…well…you’ve seen this show, right? But since that’s not going to happen, he wants to help Zelena create her time travel spell so she can get revenge on Regina and he can get revenge on Zeus. Zelena is intrigued and Hades says he can find the Scarecrow.

(This is an unholy alliance)

Back at the loft, Robin and Regina want to know more about how Peanut is in danger. Zelena explains that a portal pulled her, Belle and the baby into the Underworld and she believes Hades wants her daughter. She asks Robin to find her, saying Belle ran off with her. Robin grabs his bow and says he will find Peanut with Regina. He may not have magic but he’s still an expert tracker.

Belle takes Peanut to the one place she feels safe—the library. As she holds the baby close, she hears the elevator start up. Belle hides behind some books until Rumple emerges from it. Relieved, she hurries out to be reunited with her surprised husband. He realizes that she and Zelena were the reason the portal didn’t work the way he intended it to.

She then processes everything he said and asks why he was working with Hades. Rumple spills all about the contract and selling his second born child. Belle’s like “But you don’t have a second born child so…” To which he’s like “Yeah about that. Guess what?” She’s excited about her impending motherhood for a hot minute before she realizes that he sold their child long before even meeting her. She lashes out and he vows to use all his powers to protect their baby.

(Look how happy this poor thing is)

That startles Belle and she’s like “powers”? So Rumple lays it all out on the table and reveals he’s the Dark One again. She’s angry that he lied to her and he’s pretty much “You know who I was when you fell in love with me. You love the beast and the Dark One is the beast.” Belle, though, can’t deal with it and leaves with Peanut.

(I understand, Belle)

David and Snow wait their turn to use the telephone booth that will let them haunt their son. She wonders what they should do—talk? Sing him a song? She then wonders how it even works. David turns to the person behind him and asks him if he knows. The man doesn’t know what it’s like on the other side but he hopes it works or else he’s wasted a lot of time.

(It's not the TARDIS but it'll have to do)

Regina, Robin and Zelena trek through the woods as Zelena just doesn’t shut up. She wants to know Peanut’s name and hopes it’s not something boring like Brittany. Pausing, she pleads: “Tell me it’s not Marian.” Robin turns and snaps that he hasn’t named her yet because he doesn’t know her yet. Zelena says he shouldn’t have left her to go running around after Hook in the Underworld. Regina says that she was once like Zelena but she changed and her enemies became her family. And so she and Robin are down there helping their family because that’s what you do for love.

(Outlaw Queen is over this)

In Oz, Hades brings Zelena to the wreckage that once was Dorothy’s house. I guess it’s from her first trip to Oz? Anyway, he picks up her bicycle and Zelena is like “What is that?” Hades explains what a bicycle is and tells her to get on. They share the bike and he pauses, looking at her. When she prompts him, they ride the bike through the woods and Zelena enjoys herself. They hit a bump and fall, laughing. Zelena wants to go again but she also wants to know how the bicycle will help her find the Scarecrow. Hades says that he’s most likely with Dorothy. So if she enchants the bike, it’ll take her to Dorothy and then the Scarecrow.

(Is it love?)

Belle wanders the woods when she hears Robin and Regina. They are reunited and she hands Peanut over to him. Daddy!Robin comes out as he soothes his daughter and assures her that she’s safe. 

(Aww, Father!Hood)

Peanut cries and Zelena holds up her bottle, saying it’s time for her feeding. Robin holds out his hand for it but Zelena insists she feed Peanut. She assures Robin that she has no magic and it’ll just be a feeding. Robin lets her, despite his gut and all the shouting I did at the TV, and it bites him in the ass. Because once Peanut is done eating, Zelena works up enough magic to demobilize the heroes and take off with the baby.

We cut back to the loft quickly. The Charmings have sent their message to Baby Neal but aren’t sure if he heard them. Snow asks Emma if she knows when they are going home because they don’t want to be apart from their son any longer. Emma does her best to reassure her parents that it won’t be much longer.

Zelena limps through the woods, still injured after I guess a hard landing when she fell out of the portal. Peanut cries in her arms and Zelena tries to soothe her. She notes a cut on her daughter’s cheek, realizing she did that with her magic. And she doesn’t have any to heal her. Zelena breaks down, realizing she’s done more harm to her child than good in the short time she’s been a mother.

(Poor Peanut)

The bicycle brings Zelena and Hades to the farmhouse where Dorothy has been camping out. Dorothy takes a stand against Zelena but in the end, is powerless. Zelena takes Scarecrow’s brain and crows about it. She says that soon all of Oz will now that Dorothy can’t protect them. And then she’ll no longer have the love of the people. Zelena turns to celebrate with Hades, but he isn’t there and she’s disappointed.

(Abandoned again?)

Zelena hides out in the farmhouse in the Underworld, cradling her daughter close. She spots Regina and Robin, heading out. Robin demands his daughter back and she agrees to hand Peanut over. She sobs that she can’t protect her from Hades and begs Robin to do so. Regina and Robin promise to keep Peanut safe. Zelena kisses her daughter goodbye and gives her to Robin.

(Reunited)

Belle has made her way to the loft and smiles as Regina comments that Peanut has Robin’s eyes. She asks if Peanut has a name. Robin says she doesn’t and he’s not going to give her one while they are in the Underworld. Hades can do things with names, he points out and everyone thinks of the names on the gravestones. Regina says Robin is going to take Peanut into the woods to keep her safe and he points out that he is used to living there.

Henry comes down and says that there are more pages he doesn’t remember writing. Emma takes one and reads it when she sees it’s about Baby Neal. It talks about how one night he heard his parents singing to him and he fell asleep to their voices. Snow and David are relieved to know their message got to him and Snow is more determined than ever to get back to her son.

(Go, Snow!)

In Oz, Zelena returns to her throne room to find Hades has set up a lovely dinner for them. She’s pleased and asks if he’s going back to the Underworld. He says no and says he doesn’t need her time travel spell. She realizes that he’s found True Love and that it’s her. He explains he felt something when they were on the bicycle and believes she’s the one who can restart her heart.

Zelena pulls away and grows suspicious. She thinks Hades is playing her so he can use her time travel spell all for himself. Despite his protests, she rejects him and he heads back to the Underworld.

(Rejected)

Hades walks down the Underworld’s Main Street and finds Zelena there. He is happy to see her and reveals that he still loves her. That nothing she has done could severe the bond they share. He says he even created the Underworld to look like Storybrooke for her. Of course, it’s the Underworld so it’s all messed up and decaying, but it’s theirs if she wants it. If she wants him.

(Will they work?)

Zelena backs away, saying she can’t trust him. She needs to think of her daughter and when Hades says they can get Peanut, she refuses. Zelena says she’s safer with Robin and then walks away, leaving Hades once again.

So Zelena and Hades are supposedly true love. And my ship is still getting crumbs. Which is not helped by the fact Robin is now hiding in the woods with Peanut.

Ugh.

Anyway, let’s see how this plays out…

Next time: Belle gets a visit from her past! And he has a new face that’s never addressed because they went so far as to film the new guy playing Gaston in scenes from “Skin Deep”! 

Screen caps from here.