Saturday, August 10, 2013

ANTM: I Think I Wanna Marry You

Last week: Time for a new cycle! And this time, Tyra is letting men join the competition. We met some good looking ones, some quirky ones and some crazy ones. Tyra flew the top 35 out to LA to walk in a fashion show where they had to kiss their partner and pose. After the requisite sob stories, the judges reduced the number to 26. The final 26 pose on the side of a building for people to vote and the judges whittle it down to the final 16. Chris H has some very poor bonding skills, as his idea is to punch other guy’s nuts, and Jeremy is infatuated with Jourdan. The top sixteen are revealed and will now have to walk down a building. Who will fall to their death? Who will be eliminated? FIND OUT!

Tyra points to the roof of the building as some guy walks down it with the assist of a harness. She reveals this is a challenge and like last year, they will be ranked. Jiana is nervous that they will be walking in heels and says she hasn’t even told her mom she’s in the competition let alone about to die in it. Don’s scared of heights and is looking a bit unsure.

Wanna be on top?


BUILDING OF DOOM! They are even playing ominous music. Chris S. talks about himself, calling himself a “Southern Rebel.” Mike “Ice Cream Truck” Guy tells his stylist he’ll be on a learning curve. Renee used to be a pageant girl and we all know how well they fare. Kelly and Bryanboy ask her who her biggest competition is and she says Jourdan. It seems the guys are interested in Bianca, who likes Mike. Hey, Mike, she’s single! Don says he has PTSD from a past assault and is afraid. Chlea tells Kelly she’s heard she is tough and mean. When Chlea tries to give her advice, Kelly shuts her down.

Jessica Hart is here to judge the challenge and Rob holds the key to the Tyra Suite, which has the Guess closet. Nina is excited. Rob wishes them luck as the stunt director gives them advice. Chris S and Nina are up first. Kelly is still up there to advise them. Nina realizes it is raining and she’s not feeling it. Down below, everyone waits for the show to begin. Or someone to fall to their death. You know, whatever. Nina falls backward as Johnny cringes.

COMMERCIALS!

So, how is Nina? She’s struggling but on the runway. Jourdan says the guys have an edge because they are wearing sneakers. Nina makes it down and walks with Chris S down the normal runway. Kanani and Phil struggle down while Jourdan and Chris H prep to go down. She’s worried about his whole punching nuts personality while Rob calls him a zombie. Jiana falls before she starts walking but Cory just heads down without a problem. Chlea falls as Don looks to the heavens for inspiration. He falls once but lives. Mike starts to question his decision to leave the ice cream truck but he and Alexandra make it down. Mike kinda waddles down the runway and Kelly mocks it backstage. Jeremy pretty much rappels down while Renee looks awesome. Bianca struggles while Marvin looks great. Bianca gives up and just poses as she slides down the building.

Jessica and Rob congratulate the wannabes for surviving. Rob points out Bianca for giving up and Mike for his waddle. Jessica praises Marvin and Renee. She says it was really close but the challenge winner is Renee. She does the happy dance before grabbing the key.

Everyone goes home to check their challenge scores. Mike and Bianca are at the bottom with five points. Everyone congratulates Renee, who picks Kanani to share the suite with her. They explore their new room and closet.

Meanwhile, Bianca talks about the challenge with Mike as Marvin talks about a condom. Chlea says he has no game. The girls think he is cute and hilarious. No one seems interested in Marvin. Well, maybe Phil.

COMMERCIALS!

TYRA MAIL! “To make it to the top is a life ling commitment.” Jeremy proves the boys can’t figure out the clues any better than the girls. I’m just glad P’Trique isn’t there.

Tyra and Johnny meet them and she reveals their photoshoot theme is weddings! Jourdan doesn’t want to relive her marriage from the age of 18 to the age of 18. Tyra says it will be an alternate take on marriage and she will be doing their makeup. As they wait backstage, Phil talks about the hormones as Marvin flirts with Bianca. But she’s still hung up on Mike who proclaims Marvin’s chances as “not going to happen.” Nina likes Chris H. Hence why she talked to him last week after the whole punching another guy’s nuts. Chris S. just admires Tyra as she does Jiana’s makeup.

Jeremy and Jourdan are up first, with nudist wedding. Jeremy has a crush on Jourdan (I told you my money’s on them!) and is worried his virgin status might hurt him. I think Jourdan’s lack of enthusiasm is going to hurt them. Douglas, the photographer, wants to kill her. She admits to being married and divorced. She just shuts down.

COMMERCIALS!

Jourdan starts to loosen up before their picture is turned into flixel, moving picture. Mike and Alexandra have a shotgun wedding, where they have children already. He’s a bit stiff and looks like Robert Gorrie from One Life to Live. Anyone else think so? Kanani and Jiana do a same sex marriage while Tyra talks to models waiting. Cory and Chlea have a biker wedding. Chlea worries Cory won’t be masculine. Cory gets to cameo in Don and Chris H’s gay marriage shot. Johnny praises Don and Chris goes for it. Phil gets paired with a TV as his bride. While Nina, Marvin and Bianca have polygamist wedding. There are some extras in this one too. Chris S. and Renee has the hip hop wedding. As the extra make it rain money, Chris S and Renee try to stand out.

SKULL MAIL! I STILL DEMAND A PIRATE! The message says NO ONE IS SAFE. So what do the wannabes do? GET DRUNK Y’ALL! Especially Mike, who may try to outdrink Lisa in Cycle 5. Will Cousin Itt have a friend? Marvin tells Mike in a talking head to focus on winning rather than Bianca. Mike and Bianca kissing confessional before Mike passes out. He snores us into…

COMMERCIALS!

PANEL! Tyra introduces the judges: Kelly, Rob and Bryanboy (representing us, the audience). There are prizes. Alex and Mike are up first. Tyra praises Alexandra’s look and Kelly likes the pose. Alexandra: 7, 8, 7. Kelly says Mike is the worst walker she had ever seen and that he has no connection. Mike: 6, 7, 7. Renee and Chris S. are up. Kelly calls Chris S a lesbian while Tyra poses. Chris S: 6, 5, 6. Renee: 5, 6, 7. Kanani and Jiana follow. Rob feels she Kanani could’ve done more and Tyra agrees. Kanani: 5, 7, 7. Jiana is praised by everyone. Jiana: 7, 8, 9. Cory and Chlea. Kelly and Rob don’t feel Cory but Tyra likes it. Cory: 7, 8, 6. Kelly calls out Chlea about the challenge and then rips her picture. Rob likes it. Chlea: 4, 7, 8. Phil and the TV are next. Rob and Tyra talk about his poses. Phil: 5, 6, 7.

Chris H and Don step forward. The judges praise Chris H. Chris H: 8, 9, 10. Don admits he wasn’t expecting it but wanted to win. Kelly and Rob like his confidence and Tyra likes his “I’m gay and I don’t care.” Don: 8, 9, 9. Jeremy and Jourdan are next. Kelly likes Jeremy’s body and face. Rob thinks he could’ve done more. A fan professes his love via video. Jeremy: 8, 5, 6. Kelly tells Jourdan to kick her energy up and Tyra gives her some tips. Jourdan: 7, 5, 6. Nina, Marvin and Bianca are next. Kelly doesn’t feel Nina, Bryanboy loves her and Tyra tells her profile is her best look. Nina: 5, 7, 6. Kelly doesn’t like Bianca and Rob says she looks better in person. Tyra says her body doesn’t look good. Bianca: 6, 5, 7. The judges think Marvin own the shot. Marvin: 9, 9, 10.

COMMERCIALS!

ELIMINATION! Best photo goes to…Marvin! He is joined by Don, Chris H, Jiana, Alexanda, Cory, Jeremy, Renee, Nina, Jourdan, Kanani, Chlea, and Phil. Chris S, Mike and Bianca are called forward. Mike: Gorgeous but not translating to pictures or runway. Bianca: Fun and spunky but faded away in the picture. Chris S: European looks but failed to be strong in photo. Who stays? Who goes? Eliminated: Bianca! She hugs Tyra and then the others. She says she wished she could’ve stayed to show how strong she is and she’ll miss Mike. Also eliminated: Chris S! Mike gets to stay one more week.

Tyra hugs Chris S and tells him not to give up. He hugs the others and wants his mother.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alex
Bianca
Kanani
Don
Renee
Nina
Marvin
Jiana
Chris
Cory
Jourdan
Chlea
Jeremy
Chris
Mike
Phil

Well, that was week two. I didn’t think Marvin had the strongest photo and believe Don did. Chris H was a surprise and I still like Jeremy. Jourdan’s losing a bit in my eyes and I wish Nina would do better. I want her to stick around for a bit longer!















Next week: MAKEOVERS! A Victoria's Secret model!

Quote of the Episode
“This little Texas boy is going to be gangsta today.” –Chris S. at the photoshoot.

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