Thursday, March 31, 2011

Dragging Through the Mud

Last time on ANTM: Alexandria was a bitch. But Monique was a bigger bitch for reading Alexandria’s diary. Meanwhile, Kasia, Mikaela and Brittani won the Cover Girl website challenge. Then the girls modeled Rachel Zoe’s faux fur collection while holding a baby jaguar. At judging, Zoe joined the panel to comment on the wannabes. Hannah, Brittani and Jaclyn were amongst the best while Molly and Dayla were amongst the worst. In the end, Dayla got sent home. Who will join her tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

I missed the first minute or so, but apparently Tyra surprised the girls at their loft. And is pairing up words with the pictures? Brittani gets couture and Mikaela gets bombshell. Tyra says a supermodel has something that makes them stand out. And when you become a supermodel, you get famous. And Tyra talks about the fans and what boundaries she’s set. She talks about talking to someone on the phone, which Brittani rules out. Then the wannabes practice their autographs. Tyra then talks about being thick-skinned—she says she reads the crazy things on the internet and it still hurts.

She then opens the floor. Alexandria talks about being strong as a diamond. And that’s it. Apparently Tyra addressed Molly’s weave and we see she got it out. As Hannah and Alexandria run their hands through her head, Monique stares at Hannah’s picture. She’s upset that Hannah got first picture again.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow you’ll have a real following.” Someone thinks paparazzi.

The wannabes meet with Ms. J at a Top Model publicity event. The winner of this challenge will get a private dinner with Ms. J. The girls take their position and they unleash the fans. Jaclyn loves it. One fan loves Kasia. Alexandria, Molly and Brittani record someone’s voicemail message. As Kasia greets people, Monique seems disinterested. One person asks to write “Good kisser” on his autographed picture and Monique says that Alexandria might kiss him. He asks her and she’s like “I don’t think my boyfriend will appreciate it.” I must say, for the house bitch, she deters him quite charmingly. This guy though is a creeper…

Is he a plant? Question to ponder as we go to commercials…

We come back to Alexandria and the Creeper. They finally compromise with a kiss on the cheek and a signed autograph. And good-bye, Creeper. One girl looked like Cycle 12’s Allison.

Ms. J tells Alexandria to never give anyone a kiss on the cheek. It offers opportunity for a stalker. Alexandria asks about Monique but Ms. J says she called her out. He praises Jaclyn for being personable and then tells Kasia that she interacted with the fans but remained a model. He tells Monique she seemed disinterested. And they play the cricket noise too! In the end, there is only one winner—Kasia! She picks Jaclyn and Brittani to go to dinner with Ms. J. Kasia calls it an honor. The “losers” get to clean up the mess their fans made. Monique is like “I was next to Kasia so why did I lose?” She complains the whole time while the other girls just clean.

Kasia, Brittani and Jaclyn go to Rock Sugar with Ms. J. Jaclyn says she felt like a celebrity. Meanwhile, the other girls get ham and cheese on the Model Mobile. Ms. J tells the girls that it is business of word of mouth. People will call them names, but he/she/it tells them to let it go. The trio returns and Hannah and Mikaela are so excited to know what happened. Monique still looks pissed. Brittani calls Monique “high maintenance.”

TYRA MAIL! “Oh the tangled webs we weave!” The girls are worried for spiders but Mikaela just wants a good photoshoot. Meanwhile, Jaclyn tries to ask Monique about why she’s in a mood. She says she wants to win just once which Jaclyn says she wants to do too. Monique says in confessional she wants to be left alone as she’s on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Ooh, Tyra loves those! Especially at panel! As she writes some letters, we go to commercials.

The girls wonder what the Tyra Mail means as they prepare for the day. The Model Mobile takes them to Smashbox Studios, where Mr. Jay introduces them to Jonathan Mannion. The girls get divided by hair color and will be covered in mud. Mr. Jay emphasizes that it is not a sexy shoot, but an artistic one. Molly notes that every blonde has gotten a best photo call and feels confident in her group. Monique thinks the brunettes will work well together. Kasia practices her angles before getting covered in mud. And Alexandria does some dance moves.

Mr. Jay reminds the blondes that it is a group shoot and they start. Jonathan loves Molly and Mr. Jay loves Hannah. Jonathan tells Alexandria to be more involved while Mr. Jay thinks Kasia is getting distant. So Kasia rearranges herself. Mr. Jay notes that Alexandria was redirecting the shoot, leading her to worry that the note will get to Tyra. Brittani hopes it does. The blondes share a group hug at the end.

Next up comes the brunettes. Mr. Jay instructs Jaclyn to watch her angles then asks her what she’s thinking. Hannah says that the brunettes looked barbaric  and they play tribal chants. Mr. Jay tries to get Monique to stretch her neck. Then Brittani hits a pose that inspires the photographer to get an individual shot. Mr. Jay calls Mikaela hit and miss this week.

That’s a wrap!

Skull and Crossbones! Too bad this isn’t on ABC. Then “Jack Sparrow” could appear to read the message for them. All the girls are nervous—they have no clue who will go home. But they all want Alexandria gone.

Commercials.

Backstage, Tyra greets the panel. Then she stares down the girls. There are prizes, there are judges: Nigel Barker and Andre Leon Talley. And tonight’s guest judge is Sonia Dara, a South Asian model. Battle of the Brunettes and the Blondes, Tyra tells the others. The Brunettes go first. Tyra shows their best shot. Andre says he can’t recognize them, which is good. Nigel says that if Monique had collapsed more, it would agree with the neck and the eyes. Tyra thinks she doesn’t have a good connection. Nigel asks why Jaclyn is nervous and she explains the rocky start she had. They ask how she thinks it is and she talks about body position. But the judges love her. Andre calls Mikaela the weak link. Once again, it’s a comment about her eyes—but Tyra says this was the one time she didn’t do it. Everyone loves Brittani, even her “amputee” legs. She is called the star.

The blondes approach next. Nigel wishes for more body language, but he loves the looks. Sonia says she wants to be blonde. Nigel and Andre love Hannah’s picture. Tyra wishes she did a bit more. Andre calls Molly “super gorgeous” and is glad the weave is gone. Nigel tells her to watch her left eye. Sonia says Kasia drew her eyes. Tyra loved Kasia’s film. As for Alexandria, Andre calls it “posey.” Tyra tells her she fell off but Tyra loves her hunched back. Tyra then congratulates Kasia on her challenge win. Now the judges must deliberate. Monique looks like “I will set you ablaze”.

Sonia calls brunettes more editorial. Andre agrees and says that the blondes would be a billboard. Nigel comments on the differences between Jaclyn’s photos and in person. Nigel says that if Monique was taken out, the picture would still be strong. That’s not good. Sonia loves Mikaela’s bone structure but needs more emotion. They love Brittani. Hannah is not a chameleon, Nigel says, but she’d be good for commercial. Sonia loves Kasia picture and her personality. Nigel declares that Molly is back. As for Alexandria, they think she was trying to get into the shot. And weren’t sure about her panel look.

ELIMINATION! The first picture goes to Brittani, meaning the brunettes had the stronger shot. She is followed by: Kasia, Molly, Jaclyn, Hannah and Alexandria. Andre declares her outfit “dreckitude.” So Alexandria takes off the tassel and bonnet so Tyra could give her her picture. That leaves Monique and Mikaela in the bottom two. Tyra explains that the brunettes were more high-fashioned and was stronger than the blondes. But these girls were the weakest. Mikaela: Dead eyes. Didn’t hold on to the handlebars of fierceness. Monique: Someone in the middle. So, who stays? Mikaela, for her peaks. Mikaela hugs Monique and is told to hold on and relax.

Tyra gives Monique a hug. She likes Monique’s body and her face. But she needs to stand out. Brittani cries as she hugs Monique. Monique is surprised and doesn’t know why she was holding back. She didn’t want to go home. “It really sucks,” she declares. It does. If Alexandria went home, I’d have pegged her as the next house bitch.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alexandria
Angelia
Brittani
Dalya
Dominique
Hannah
Jaclyn
Kasia
Mikaela
Molly
Monique
Nicole
Ondrei
Sara

I like watching the models interact with the public. You get the feeling some want to see one of them screw up in person, while others want to actually see the models. And I’m still debating whether that creeper was real or a plant. You decide in my poll!

In other words, does anyone else think that Hannah looks like Analeigh from season 11? Compare:



Analeigh











Hannah

Next week: Brittani vs. Alexandria. And Brittani breaks down.

Quote of the Episode

“Put myself out in the world so they can throw roses at me. And darts.”—Tyra on fame.

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