NEW YORK! And we see some typical New York traffic, complete with crazed guy running around wielding an axe. Okay, it’s not so typical but the sad part—we New Yorkers actually wouldn’t blink. We’d honk, curse the guy out for disrupting traffic and drive away only to call our friend like, “Dude, there’s an axe-wielding psychopath on Church. You should totally go check it out!” Anyway, the axe-wielding maniac gets tased so Mac and Don get to go check out his hotel room. Turns out he stole the axe from the fire emergency box nearest his room. The two detectives follow a trail of blood to find—the set of some Columbia grad’s final film.
CUE THE WHO!
NEW YORK! Now Danny’s been called to the scene along with Hawkes to take pictures while Axe-Wielding Maniac gets processed by Stella at the lab. Umm, what’s up with Hill Harper’s hair? Anyway, Axe-Wielding Maniac tells Don that clowns were trying to kill him. Okay, the guy was found running in his underwear wielding an axe on a NYC street and now he claims he was tortured by clowns, who stuck a gun in his mouth. Has anyone decided to test him for drugs? Anyone? Don does have a gun—a water gun filled with tequila. Don suspects drugs. Thank God, it isn’t just me. Axe-Wielding Maniac—AKA James—doesn’t remember much, but he doesn’t remember taking drugs. He does remember being underwater, seahorses and starfishes. He tells Don to ask Mark. Don reveals that Mark is dead, along with everyone else at the “Happy 21st Birthday, Axe-Wielding Maniac” party.
Stella and Mac also think he’s on something, something hallucinogenic. My vote’s for LSD. They reveal he could go into states while revealing he’s a science geek over at Chelsea University. His phone registers 11 missed calls from a Sara and a birthday call from his parents, including dad encouraging him to put the books down and go have a drink—or maybe ten. Mom says no to that and that they’ll be home on Friday. Won’t they be surprised!
Danny and Hill Harper’s Hair are still at the hotel. He’s found the first victim—a girl. Danny predicts the guy rushing for the bathroom was number two and the guy next to him was number three, but Hawkes says they have no proof that the girl in the blue dress wasn’t number 2. They do realize there’s a gap on the wall—someone was standing there.
Sara comes down and is shocked to see James high. She tells Mac that Mark and the other guy were his best friends. She doesn’t know the girls. Mac finds it odd that she wasn’t at his “Happy 21st Birthday, Axe-Wielding Maniac” party. She says James didn’t much care for birthdays and would much rather study. Umm, why? (By the by, 29 days till my birthday!) James gets violent as Don and Danny find out he really was attacked by clowns. They were his buddies, shooting tequila in his mouth to start the 21st birthday festivities.
Danny goes to inform Hill Harper’s Hair that they ID-ed the girls and both have priors for drug use. He also doesn’t think they went to Chelsea University. James’ pants had shampoo on him. Danny and Hawkes discover that James did not create the gap in the blood spatter but Stella also notes that his clothes do not have enough blood on them for him to be the killer. She and Danny go to visit Adam, who has created a mock-up of the death. Stella asks about the bathroom door. Danny says it was open, but based on the recreation, there should be blood on it. There isn’t, so it must’ve been closed.
Stella and Danny go to the bathroom. They discover a blue shower curtain with seahorses and starfish on it. Stella realizes that during the murder, James was tripping out in the shower. We get a taste of that before we cut to commercials.
We go back to James, who has a trip watching a fly and yeah, your recapper is TERRIFIED of bugs, so I’m not watching right now. Mac comes in to end James’ and my torture. James is lucid enough to know he didn’t kill his friends but is surprised to learn he took LSD. Mac reveals that the friends did it too, party of the usual 21st birthday festivities. Y’know, up until the axe murderer showed up. Mac decides to connect to James using science. James wants to see Sara but Mac puts it off. He asks for James’ help. He’s studying his hand like a little baby just discovering it for the first time. James doesn’t remember the girls but he does remember seeing everyone dead. He picks up the axe and begins his LSD-fueled axe-wielding rampage on the streets of New York. He seems to get violent, but Mac waves off a concerned uni. James curls up, scared and Mac goes to comfort him.
Stella reminds us, again, that Mark and Daniel were partying with James because he turned 21. And, once again, the boys didn’t know the girls before that night. And once again, they were all killed by an axe. Hawkes is still trying to figure out the bite mark on James. He doesn’t remember it. The gang didn’t leave much of a trail but Adam pulled a picture off one crushed phone. It reveals a picture of the boys with a group of geriatric girls. They reveal it was an assisted living house and the boys played Bingo with the old-timers. One even won--$25,000. *Jaw drops* Don and Danny realize the money is gone and one old geezer really wants them gone. Ohmigod, it’s a real life Walter!
Stella reveals that James was bitten by Calvin Moore. He was arrested for assault. He took down two officers…and he’s only 3 foot 9! And once again, we hit the halfway mark of the episode and no Lindsay. Seriously, does someone in the Power that Be have something against Anna Belknap? Danny and Don go to watch Calvin beat someone up. He says he was paid a grand…to fight James, but not to kill them. He’s surprised to hear they’re dead. Calvin bites James, but in the end the Birthday Boy wins. Calvin doesn’t think that the boys were high. He also tells Don and Danny that the girls weren’t there yet. So where did they come from and who brought the LSD?
Mac takes James for a walk, complete with orange juice. James swears he didn’t take LSD. Mac believes he didn’t take it voluntarily. He thinks that his friends wanted to loosen him up, make him the life of the party. He distracts James by asking about his paper. He’s writing an open letter to Albert Einstein. As Mac quotes Einstein, James looks like he’s in love. However, when someone bumps into the two, James bolts. Mac pursues.
New York! Mac is still in pursuit, when he spots James’ taking down someone’s poster. The guy tries to stop James, Mac pulls the guy off and then James throws the lamest fake punch ever. I could be more realistic than that! But the poster does remind James that he rode a bull in a bar. So Don goes to the only club in Manhattan with a bucking bronco (seriously?) and the bartender confirms that the boys were there. And that James did ride Pedro, up to level 4. Then he fell off. She doesn’t think they were high and neither were the girls. They ordered the shots and may have put something in the boys’. The bartender reveals that they met the girls before they entered the bar. Don calls Stella, who tells him to meet her at a cab place. They had a run-in with one.
Danny and Stella can’t believe a driver saying that the lamppost came out of nowhere. The driver does remember the boys but he’s silent about the girls. They threaten to lock him up for reckless driving when he reveals that he let the one of the friends’ drive. Danny discovers a security camera. It reveals they just picked up the girls off the street. Stella thinks the girls probably drugged the boys to get the cash. She discovers one of the girls put a gun in her purse and Stella thinks something happened in the building they came out of.
Don and Danny talk themselves into a foggy apartment. They ask the guy about the girls. He knows they’re dead but he heard about it through his grapevine. They want to know why the girls shot him. He doesn’t know—he gave them money and food. And probably the drugs. He orders the two cops out. And I was right, he gave them the drugs. They deal for him. Or they did before they shot him. Hawkes reveals the DNA on the axe matches the Drug Dealer. So, he’s our axe murderer? The cops storm the apartment but only a young woman remains. Stella demands to know where Rufus, Drug Dealer, is. We see him and his bodyguard watching Mac and James. As Drug Dealer takes out his guns we go to…
Commercials!
Seriously, show, what do you have against Lindsay?
NNEW YORK! James and Mac are still in peril. Until Mac spots the danger. He drops his soda and pulls his gun—in slo mo, of course—and proceeds to have a shoot out with Rufus and Bodyguard. James picks up a dropped gun, remembering who the axe murderer was. Mac pleads with James not to do it and Rufus tells him to listen to Mac. James reveals that Rufus killed his friends, yes, we know, James. Mac still tells him to put the gun down. He does so and Mac orders Drug Dealer on his knees so he can cuff him.
Stella comes out of interrogating the woman found at Rufus’ apartment. Turns out the girls wanted out, move away from NYC. Rufus didn’t want that. He even ruins a good dinner, he’s so angry. That’s when he gets shot and the girls run away. Rufus’ grapevine tells him that the girls were in the hotel room. Mark and Daniel were just collateral damage. James was saved by the fact he decided to have his trip in the bathroom. They were just “wrong place, wrong time.” James has survivor’s guilt. Mac tells him that not even Einstein could’ve predicted it. Of course, Mac. Einstein was a scientist, not a psychic. Anyway, Mac tells James to reach out to the people who care. And who should come through the door—his parents and Sara. Aww.
Next week: Lindsay! I saw Lindsay! Anyway, someone doesn’t have the luck of the Irish next week. Which makes sense as St. Patrick’s Day isn’t for another TWO weeks.
So, an interesting episode. It might have been a bit more suspenseful if they didn’t exonerate the Axe-Wielding Maniac before the fifteen minute mark, let him hang for a bit. Also, whoever wrote the episode needs to work on it a bit. Audiences do not need to be hit over the head with facts we’ve already learned. And I still want to know why there was no Lindsay. And what is with Hill Harper’s hair!
No quote of the episode, but Don’s freak out about the clowns comes pretty close.
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