OUAT: There's Something Rotten in Denmark

Well, Storybrooke, but if the writers are citing Hamlet, then so am I!

Last time on “Once:” Belle and Rumple reeled from the revelation that the hooded figure fated to kill Emma was their son, now all grown up after being kidnapped by the Black Fairy. He explained he needed to kill the Savior in order to free the realms from the Black Fairy and Rumple tried to help him while Belle pleaded with the heroes to give her a chance to get through to her son. David and Hook agreed, though they were determined to keep Emma safe.

Speaking of Emma, she was still trapped in the wish realm. Regina was shocked to see Robin Hood alive and well, though he robbed them. Prince Henry was also determined to capture her and make her pay for killing his grandparents. Emma believed she knew a way for them to go home.

That way? Pinocchio, all grown up and one of Princess Emma’s good friends. She asked him if he still had the wardrobe but he said his father destroyed it. But he believed he could make another one to send Emma and Regina home. Well, Emma at least as Regina decided to go off to see if Robin’s life was better without her.

She found him in the tavern and he told her that he had a great life. She believed he was happy without her and went to leave. They were then captured by the Sheriff of Nottingham and Regina learned that Robin was not an honorable thief but a common one stealing for himself. Marian died before they could marry, so he was all alone and without love. After Rumple freed them but then locked them up again, Robin admitted that he wasn’t happy. He asked her about the other Robin and she told him about his other self—including the fact he died. Still, Robin believed his other self had a good life.

He then broke them out so Regina could find Emma.

Speaking of Emma, she and Pinocchio found another enchanted tree to turn into the wardrobe. Captain Hook, though, showed up to “rescue” Princess Emma. Emma was shocked to find he was older and heavier as well as drunk. He was easily taken care of with a wave of her hand but in the process, Pinocchio’s chisel was broken. He believed he couldn’t make the wardrobe and stormed off, apologizing to Emma for letting her down.

Emma tried herself but when she found a wooden swan, she realized what she had to do. She showed it to Pinocchio, who tells her an alternate interpretation of the Ugly Ducking that she once heard as a child. Emma gave Pinocchio a pep talk and he managed to make the wardrobe. Regina showed up with Robin, who gave her a feather off his lucky arrow. She confessed she believed part of her Robin ended up living on in him and Emma convinced her to bring Robin with them. He agreed and they all headed back to Storybrooke.

In Storybrooke, Emma came face-to-face with Gideon. They fought and it seemed he got the upperhand when he got the sword from her. But despite her tremors, Emma was able to use her magic on him and shattered the sword. Rumple pleaded with her not to hurt his son, allowing Gideon to get away. Emma and Regina were reunited with their family and they prepared to save Emma while Gideon threw a teenage temper tantrum in the clock tower as his parents fretted at the well.

And thus started the second half of Season Six. Let’s continue!

It’s a dark and stormy night. A man enters a cabin and we hear two babies crying. His frantic wife asks him if he was able to get the medicine and he says he couldn’t, that he failed James and David. Yes, the woman is a younger Ruth and the man is David’s father, Robert. They don’t know what they will do.

(Babies!)

Enter Rumpelstiltskin, who throws down money to buy the medicine the boys need. However, there’s a catch. He tells them the story of King George, who has a lot of riches but no sons, and of Robert, who has no riches but two sons. Ruth pulls a knife and tells Rumple that he won’t take one of her sons, but Robert says it’s for the best. They can assure both their boys a good life that way, especially once Rumple tells them that neither would survive the winter otherwise. Rumple gives Robert a coin to flip—heads he takes David, tails he takes James. Robert tosses it and it ends up tails. Rumple takes James as his parents say their goodbyes, promising that they will always love him. Rumple warns them that they’ll never see him again and they can’t speak of this to anyone.

And then he’s gone with James, leaving David crying all alone in his crib.


In Storybrooke, adult David gives a toast. He praises Emma for facing Gideon and then raises his glass to family. Hook, Regina, Henry, Emma and he clink their glasses together. Emma thanks him and says she’s glad to be back with her family. He says that her entire family is not there, thinking of Snow, and she promises that she’ll get her future back and save her parents’ as well.

David sits outside, looking longingly at Snow’s picture. He then hears his name on the wind and starts to investigate. David then decides to head back in but he is surprised when his father appears before him, bleeding. He pleads with David, who passes out.

Hook races out and helps David up. But David shakes him off, saying he’s fine. Hook, though, can tell he’s not. He suggests that David needs to tag in Snow and get some sleep. David snaps that he doesn’t need advice from a pirate. You can see Hook’s heart break and he heads in while David is too focused on the coin on the ground to realize his bromance is in trouble.

(And he's gone)

The next morning, we hear an alarm clock echoing throughout Regina’s house as she walks through it. She enters a room to find Robin awake. He says he couldn’t sleep with the “demon box” screaming at him. She turns it off and then says she brought him some clothes to wear. And yes, they appear to be Robin’s old clothes. He thanks her and they have an awkward moment before Regina excuses herself. She was clearly wanting more—a tender word, a hug, to help him dress—but he wasn’t really giving her anything. After all, he’s not the Robin she was in a relationship with, so she can’t just jump back in where she left off with her Robin.

(I need a moment)

Snow is not thrilled with the decision to bring Robin to their world, though she seems to put most of it on Regina rather than Emma. Your daughter was involved too, Snow. She says Robin isn’t Regina’s Robin and that they don’t know this Robin. Regina says that if there’s a chance her Robin still lives on she wants to take it. Snow asks how she’s going to deal with Peanut and Regina is like “She’s not his daughter” and Snow’s like “Thanks for proving my point!” She tells Regina that she hopes it works out for her because she deserves something good, but they need to be cautious. Regina understands.

(Princess Buzzkill)

Meanwhile, Captain Hook pays a visit to Archie. He says he’s worried that David might still see him as a pirate and that he believes Hook isn’t good enough for Emma. Archie says it does sound like a complicated situation and Hook says it’s about to get more complicated. He pulls out a ring box and opens it to reveal an engagement ring. Archie is ecstatic and congratulates Hook. Hook, though, wants to get David’s permission before asking Emma but is afraid he won’t get it. Archie says that Hook is a changed man and everyone can see it. He’s listening to his conscious and doing better, to be better for Emma. Archie tells Hook that if he wants to know what David thinks of him, then Hook is going to have to ask him.

(Archie is so happy. He's such a cinnamon bun)

David wakes up that night and finds a message from Snow. She says that she loves him and that she misses him but she’s certain they’ll see each other soon. He kisses the screen and looks ready to go back to bed.

Then he hears a strange sound. When he looks toward Neal’s crib, he sees his father’s ghost. Robert says that family is everything but David has forgotten him. David says that he died when David was six and was a worthless drunk. He was hardly a father to David. David shows him the coin and asks him if he’s there for that. Robert pleads with his son to find out the truth.

(Remember who you are...)

Robert puts down a coin at a tavern. The owner looks disgusted as he tells the man that he should spend it on his family. He asks Robert how old his boy is now and Robert replies that David is six. He says his son is a good boy who deserves a better father. He asks for his drink, which the owner does down with so much contempt.

So much.

A soldier enters and orders everyone to their feet, announcing King George. Welcome back, Alan Dale! Nice to see you again. King George says he’s there to ask for information. Someone has abducted his son, Prince James, and he’s offering a reward for anyone who can return him to the royal family. Robert considers this, intrigued about the son he gave up.

Robert returns home and tells Ruth he needs to find James, he needs to save his son. Ruth asks if James is really going to want to come live on a dying farm with a drunk for a father. He promises to be better and thinks bringing their son home will fix him. Little David comes downstairs and asks if his father is really leaving. Robert lies, saying he is going on a supply run. Little David asks if his father is really going to be better when he comes back and Robert promises that he’ll never drink again, he’ll be the father he deserves. Little David gives him his lucky coin and they hug.

(Aww)

David plays with the coin when someone knocks on the door. He opens the door to find Hook, who apologizes for coming over so early. David, though, pulls him in and shows him his conspiracy board. Hook is very concerned, especially when David reveals he’s seeing his father’s ghost. But David insists he doesn’t need sleep. He needs to solve the mystery of his father’s death, to give him rest. Hook suggests asking Emma for help since she’s the sheriff and has magic but David doesn’t want the rest of his family knowing. He doesn’t think that they’ll approve of what he might have to do and Hook asks if it means he will. David says Hook is a pirate and a pirate is what he needs. He tells Hook they need to go somewhere and with one last look at the board of crazy, Hook follows David.

(Does Archie make house calls?)

Regina shows Robin the storybook and explains that everyone’s story is in there. He comments about the lack of Outlaw Queen in it (tell us about, Robin) and says that they must’ve had an epic story (they did, Robin). He asks Regina if she’d tell him her story with Robin and she agrees. They have a moment, which is ruined by the doorbell. She tells Robin not to go anywhere and that she’ll be right back.

(My shipper heart!)

Zelena is at the door, demanding to know when Regina was going to tell her about the other Robin. She says she won’t let him near her daughter and then wonders if Robin even knows about Peanut. Regina says she hasn’t told him because it’s complicated. Zelena says it’s not (oh, yes, it is, Zelena) and then yells that he has no rights to Peanut. If he comes near her house, she will destroy him. Regina tells her sister to go home and she does.

(Dear Zelena, it's not about you!)

This brief scene just annoys me. I mean, there’s a lot to unpack over the fact that Robin of Locksley is not Robin Hood. He’s not the loving father we fell in love with, who would do anything for his children. But she spoke of Robin’s family to him and called Marian his wife, so finding out he has children shouldn’t be too much of surprise. It seems, though, that Zelena forgot how she got pregnant. Does she really want this darker version of Robin to know that she masqueraded as Marian and tricked him into impregnating her? Does she want to deal with that? And as for people having no rights to babies, I’m still not sure Zelena should have any rights to Peanut given everything in her past. Because despite what the writers keep trying to get us to believe, I don’t think she’s truly sorry for that and ready to be better.

Anyway, Regina returns to her living room but is surprised to find Robin is gone. She notices her window is open and she checks the book, worried when she sees it is open to a page containing a picture of Robin and the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Speaking of Nottingham, he walks down the street drinking coffee, blissfully unaware of Robin as he stalks him from across the street. When Nottingham stops, so does Robin. He pulls an arrow and loads it, sending it flying toward the Sheriff. It pins him to the utility pole and Robin confronts him. Nottingham says he’s not that person anymore and no one calls him the Sheriff of Nottingham in Storybrooke. Robin says that he’s not from Storybrooke and punches the man. He then pulls a knife and says he didn’t kill him with the arrow because he has a lot more pain in store for the man as payback.

(I should not be turned on right now)

Regina runs up and tells Robin to stop it, that this isn’t him. He argues that this isn’t her old Robin but it is him. So she uses her magic to send Nottingham away. Robin is not too pleased with it but Regina tells him that he would regret it—maybe not right away, but one day. He then flinches in pain and she asks to see his injured hand. She says she knows someplace they can go to get it healed but she makes him promise not to run around killing people. He promises and they head off together.

Yes, Dark!Robin is as sexy as we all hoped. Damn, Sean Maguire can play both good and honorable as well as a bad boy really well.

Hook and David pull up to Emma’s house and Hook assures David that she’s not home—she’s taking Henry canoeing all day. Hook asks why they are there and he says he’s going to steal some of the ingredients Regina gave Emma in their quest to break the curse on Snow and him. Hook is uncomfortable with this plan and David says that he needs the pirate Hook is. Hook says he’s trying to be better but David is way too focused on his own plan. He says he needs the keys to Emma’s shed and a lookout. Reluctantly, Hook hands over his keys and goes to stand watch.

(Conflicted Hook is conflicted)

Robert goes to Dark One Manor and asks for the Dark One’s help. The Dark One says he can’t return James to Robert but Robert insists he just wants help finding his missing son. Rumple asks what he’ll give him in return. Robert says he has nothing but that the Dark One also owes him.

(Now he has the Dark One's attention)

Rumple says that Robert finally got a spine but Robert says he’s learned how to be father. He hopes to make it up to his son. So Rumple asks for just a hair in return, saying even small things can hold great power. Robert agrees and the Dark One conjures up a snow globe. He reveals that Prince James wasn’t abducted but ran away. He warns Robert that he went to a place built on temptation, offering him a ticket. Robert takes the ticket and Rumple takes a hair. Their deal done, Robert heads off to find James. Rumple tosses away the hair and then says “Someday, may we all be reunited with our sons.” It seems Rumple was kind to Robert because he too is a father.

As David rummages around the shed, Hook spots Emma’s yellow bug pull up. He warns David before going to distract his girlfriend, asking Emma why she is there. She says Henry forgot the lifejackets and reminds Hook that he’s always going on about boat safety. Hook tries to stop her from going into the shed, saying he needs to kiss her. Emma laughs before reminding him of her superpower. She asks him what he’s hiding.

(Emma can see right through her pirate)

Hook says he’s unsettled because of Archie, saying he visited the therapist to talk about her. He says that the prophecy about her death and watching her fight Gideon scared him. Hook says that he needed to talk to someone about them and that Archie reminded him to share his feelings. He says he was scared to lose her because of how he feels about her. Emma is pleased and kisses him.

Seeing David has what he needs, Killian lets Emma go into the shed to get the life jackets. He and David head back to the truck as David hopes they can figure out who killed his father.

Outlaw Queen in the vault! Outlaw Queen in the vault! Regina tells Robin that he can’t keep trying to kill people and he points out that she’s the one calling the pot black. He reminds her that her curse created Storybrooke and then motions to all the magic around them. He asks what are in the boxes behind her and she admits that they contain the hearts of her enemies. And she takes a box from him that she says is filled with powerful magic. She owns up to being a hypocrite but says she changed. And she knows Robin can too.

Regina heals his hand and she tells him about the other Robin’s children, focusing on Peanut since she’s in Storybrooke. Robin asks if his daughter is hers as well but she reveals that Peanut’s mother is her sister. Robin is like “What fresh hell is this?” and asks if she brought him here just to drop him in the middle of a very complicated situation. Hey, Robin, you jumped at the chance to come to Storybrooke. Don’t act like she tricked you into coming here. She reminds him that he wanted a fresh start and she wants that for him. He just has to take the chance. Robin kisses her and it’s clear Regina doesn’t feel the same like when she used to kiss her Robin. They break the kiss and she offers to show him around Storybrooke. He accepts.

(How to break my heart in 3 gifs)

In Chemistry 101, David and Hook mix together ingredients to create a location spell. The directions tell them to turn counter clockwise so they themselves turn that way, just to be safe. After a few more ingredients and a few lame jokes by Hook, they think it’s ready by its pungent odor. They douse the coin with it and put it on a map of the Enchanted Forest. It spins until it lands on the last spot David’s father was. Hook moves the coin and says he recognizes the island—a dark place known as Pleasure Island.

(These dorks)

We go to Pleasure Island, a strange carnival. Children race around, playing games and riding rides while gorging themselves on sweets of every kind. Circus performers mingle with the children and one pours a tankard of ale as Robert approaches. He turns it down, saying he’s looking for his son. The performer watches ominously as Robert makes his way through the crowd.

He sits down next to a bench and is startled when a wooden puppet grabs his arm. It’s Pinocchio! And he’s interested in the coin around Robert’s wrist. He says that it’s from his son. Pinocchio figures he ran away and tells Robert to check the sugar pit. Robert says he’s looking for his other son and asks if any of the boys ever mentioned being a prince. Pinocchio scoffs and says Robert doesn’t look like a king. So he explains the boy was his son before he was a prince. Pinocchio says he doesn’t know anyone like but his nose starts to grow. Robert figures out it means he’s lying and shakes Pinocchio, demanding he show him where James is.

Pinocchio needs an adult.

A real adult.

Robert finds James asleep in the corner. He tells the boy that he’s there to take him home and James panics. He says he doesn’t want to go home because his father wants him to be a soldier and he doesn’t want to kill anything. Aww, Prince James was once a sweet innocent boy. Robert tells him that he’ll take him home, where it’s nice and green and he’ll have a brother to play with. He says he’s also James’ father and James is willing to go with him. Robert thanks Pinocchio before trying to leave with James. Two barkers spot them and Pinocchio yells at them to run.

August studies the coin and confirms he recognizes it. He says he never put the man looking for his son together with David because…well, why would he? David realizes that his father was trying to reunite his family by bringing James home. August agrees and assures David that his father was sober. He gives David the coin back and says that he ripped some pages out of the storybook way back in Season 1. He says he never returned them as Pleasure Island was not a proud moment for him. August offers to find them and see if they have any more clues to Robert’s fate. David thanks him before leaving with Hook.

(August looks stoned)

Outside, things start to click for David. He says he knows who has the answers he’s looking for and he knows where to find him. Hook is less than enthused and David realizes that he’s really changed his ways. He’s not hung up on vengeance anymore. Hook agrees and says he’s now going to discourage people who do want vengeance. So David handcuffs him to the nearby bike rack before driving away.

Hopefully he frees Hook before Emma comes home because he definitely wouldn’t want to explain that to his irate daughter.

Robert and James make for the docks but King George intercepts them. He thanks Robert for finding James and offers him a reward. Robert refuses, saying that James wants to go home with him—back to his real family. King George realizes that Robert was the father who sold his son to the Dark One and lays into him for that. He even makes a comment about Robert’s conscious. Like he knows what having one is like. He tries to take James, hoping Robert could be bought again. But Robert refuses to budge and James begs Robert to not let King George take him. That angers King George and he orders his soldiers to take Robert. They easily separate him from James (seriously, dude, that’s the best you can do?) and King George promises them the reward if they kill Robert. He calls out for James, who looks absolutely terrified as the flashback ends.

(Return of the King)

David storms into the catacombs of the hotel. He enters one room, which houses King George. David confronts him about killing his father and King George says technically he ordered Robert’s death. He says that he was probably imagining returning home to David, sober and with James in tow. But instead, David got news that his father died as a drunk. He shows absolutely no remorse for Robert’s death, which is unsurprising.

David throws down a knife and tells George to pick up and fight for his life. He pulls out his own knife and the two have a brief knife fight. David quickly gets the upper hand, separating George from his knife. He pushes George against the wall, knife at his throat. However, Hook pulls David off him and pushes George back into his cell, locking him back inside.

At this point, David is like “What the hell, man? Let me at him so I can get my revenge.” Hook tells him he got the truth out of King George. He found that August was right—Robert was coming home sober and King George had him killed. Hook says he’ll let David go in there and kill the king but he’s sure David wants to do the right thing. David yells that his father did the right thing in the end and he was still killed. What if in the end he can’t protect his family—what if Gideon kills Emma and the curse on him and Snow is never broken? What if he just fails them? He collapses and Hook kneels down, comforting him as he falls apart.

(Group hug David!)

Later, David stands at the docks. The ghost of his father is by his side. After some time, David throws the coin into the water and Robert disappears. He’s gotten his peace.

Hook approaches him and asks if he’s okay. David says he is and then apologizes to Hook. He says he realizes that the pirate has changed and that he put him in a precarious situation with Emma. Hook asks if David thinks he’s good enough for his daughter. David replies that Hook did the hardest thing anyone can do—change. And he kept David from going past the point of no return. He says he’ll find a way to make it up to Hook.

Hook has an idea, though. He tells David the best way to keep from losing his family is to expand it and then asks for his blessing to ask Emma to marry him. There are several tense seconds where David stares him down and Hook starts to fidget. David then smiles and happily gives him his blessing. Hook is grateful and David asks if he really was that nervous. Hook counters that Prince Charming does set the bar high, drawing a laugh. David suggests going home since he needs to wake Snow and promises not to tell her until Emma says yes. Hook thanks him and they walk off together.

(Blessing given)

David finally gets some sleep as Snow and Regina catch up. Regina tells her that she told Robin about Peanut and that they fought about it. She then admits that they kissed but says there was nothing there. Regina compares it to kissing a photograph and says he’s not Robin.

Well, he is. He’s just not your Robin. He’s probably missing a part of his soul. Or maybe it feels wrong because you’re missing a part of your soul. You did remove Queenie, Regina.

Snow apologizes but Regina insists it’s her fault. Because she wanted to believe. She wonders why Robin was able to get through the portal. If he wasn’t there for her, why was he there? Snow says that he probably just has something the portal recognized as real and that there may be no reason for him being there. Regina says that he’s not her Robin Hood and wonders who he is and what he wants.

Okay, Regina, slow your horses. He’s only been in Storybrooke one day. And you haven’t had a lot of time to really talk. Maybe you need to do that instead of showing him around in no doubt a weak attempt to jar his memory and somehow turn him back into Robin. See what he wants. Learn who he is.

Then we see Robin break into her vault and steal the box of powerful magic she took from him earlier.

Me:

Hook walks home as August pulls up to him. He says he was able to find the missing pages. They pretty much say everything he told David but he thought the prince would want them anyway. Hook thanks him and takes the pages with the promise to give them to David. August bids him goodnight before heading off.

Opening the pages, Hook comes to a dead stop as he stares at the picture of Robert, David’s father.
King George’s soldiers have tied Robert to his cart and they douse him with alcohol. They prepare to kill him when one is run through with a sword. He drops to the group to reveal Hook. As the other soldier runs, Hook throws a knife and kills him. Hook sees a lot of gold and tells his men to loot it. Robert thanks him for saving his life and Hook asks him why he would do that. He says Robert saw too much but Robert insists he won’t tell anyone what he saw. He just wants to go home to his family, to his son. Hook, though, can’t risk it and kills him. He orders his men to hide the body when they’re done looting.

(Well, this is going to make family reunions awkward)

Back in Storybrooke, Hook stares at the picture in horror. Emma comes out and greets him. Unlike earlier, she can’t tell something is wrong. Or if she does, she’s probably assuming it’s his lingering concerns over her fate. She says they’re going to have a movie night and she’s making her specialty—microwave popcorn with milk duds. He says he’ll be right in. He just needs a moment. She agrees and heads inside. Hook pulls out the ring and angsts as the episode ends.

So, yeah, Hook killed Emma’s grandfather—David’s father. Though the only reason I can think of for this twist is the same one as why Zelena had to be pregnant with Robin’s baby: to be ZOMG! SHOCKING! But the writers aren’t really going to be able to explore it. Not this late in the season, especially with the writers already being upfront about the story ending in the finale and plans for a reboot if it gets picked up. Why do something this big now? We know how far Hook’s come. The rest of this episode alone proved it. Why not just let it stay that King George’s men killed Robert? Why add in Hook except to be ZOMG SHOCKING!

At least David has some peace regarding his father and has expressed some of his concerns over his own family. Going to Archie probably would’ve been easier but it worked.

Next time: Who the eff asked for Beowulf? 

Screen caps from here.