Saturday, November 17, 2012

ANTM: One False Step

Last time on “ANTM”: The final four had to write a commercial for the Jamaican Tourism Board. And then perform it on horseback. Leila has a freakout while Laura is a natural. But Kiara wins the challenge. Then they shoot an ad for “Dream Come True.” At panel, Kelly and Rob argued a lot. Kiara and Leila made it to the finale while Laura and Nastasia made it to the bottom two. In the end, Laura rounded out the finale three while Nastasia was sent packing.

After a season of more WTF-ery than usual from P’Trique to Bryanboy to social media to Victoria, it’s time to reveal who will be America’s Next Top Model. Will it be Laura, the daughter of a soap star and model who has had her ups and downs? Or Kiara, who had a rough childhood and has pulled herself up to succeed? Or Leila, who was eliminated but brought back by viewers’ votes? Find out!

Wanna be on top?


Tyra welcomes us to Rose Hall in Jamaica. Oh, hey, Sophie! And don’t listen to Tyra’s story of Rose Hall. The real first mistress wasn’t jealous of anyone more beautiful than her. She was sadistic. They say she practiced voodoo and tortured her slaves until they revolted and killed her. Anyway, this is the location for our final fashion show!

COMMERCIALS!

We come back to Rose Hall. And we’re going straight into the fashion show. Wow. Okay. I can dig this. Tyra welcomes everyone saying the show will embrace the people, the history (not that Tyra got it right) and the music. So a dance hall team starts talking. Kelly and Johnny are backstage with the girls. They act like those anchors who get to host the Thanksgiving Day parade. All the eliminated girls come out to walk in the show. And Sophie is going to be opening the show. Hi, Sophie! She tells them not to fall over.

Nastasia is Team Kiara. She says she wants and needs this. She wants to prove to her mom she can do this.

Kristin is Team Laura. She wants to make herself proud and her parents as well. Who didn’t want her in this competition.

Darian is Team Leila. She says she’s been so through much and is a finalist despite being eliminated.

Tyra then flashes back to the Nine West photoshoot. Kelly greets them and tells them not to “f***” it up. Laura is up first, being shot by Jez Smith. Johnny gives her some instructions and Kelly wants Laura standing. She and Jez argue a bit. Kelly then gives Laura some instructions. Johnny is still giving Laura encouragement while Jez and Kelly fight. Johnny admits to being worried about getting hit. Kelly pulls Johnny into it. Laura leaves the set and is worried. Kelly storms off as Laura cries and we go to…

COMMERCIALS!

Johnny is still trying to get peace. He goes to talk to Laura, who says she’s been shaking up. He praises how she handled the situation and hugs her. Leila is next. Kelly wants her to be sassier and Johnny says she needs to connect with the product. Kiara is last. Kelly gives her instructions and Johnny is worried about her energy.

Returning backstage, the girls get into their costumes. Leila practices her walk in her costume. Tyra says Top Model is cooler and edgier than ever. Really? Anyway, this is a segue into the Nylon photoshoot? Laura is first and considered “commercial.” Kiara is next and then Leila. It’s really just repeating everything we have heard before. But Leila is declared the most “Nylon” looking.

Laura is taking her pictures when she spots a couple. It turns out to be her parents. Mom runs at her and is crying. Her parents hug her. Leila is surprised by her mother as she sits under a tree on the beach. She towers over her mother. Kiara breaks down as her grandmother gets out of a car. This is actually a sweet segment. I especially liked Laura’s mother yelling “Stop working.”

Tyra goes backstage and meets Leila’s mom. She tells Leila to get her walk together and then looks at mom’s walk. Kiara’s grandmother loves Tyra, who speaks some Spanish. Tyra then moves on to Laura’s family. Mom shows off some of her walk. Tyra warns Laura not to be too sexy. Johnny gives them their final instructions. Kelly wishes them luck as she leaves to take her seat. The girls are psyching themselves up.
Show starts after COMMERCIALS!

Or we get Rob leading the finalists into Rose Hall in a horror movie trailer. Sophie appears as the White Witch of Rose Hall. Oh goodness, did Tyra do any research? The White Witch essentially raped her slaves. Really? Anyway, ghost Sophie kills the models by pushing them over a railing. Well, that is one of the ghost stories I saw. Anyway, Tyra makes her audience put on their masks to protect themselves.

Sophie comes out as the judges take their masks off. We see Kristin, Nastasia and then Laura. Is this the Lady Gaga collection? Laura’s parents took off their masks. Tyra praises her body. Kiara is next. Her grandmother isn’t wearing a mask. Tyra yells she did a “good job.” Leila is next and slips on the stairs. Her mother looks concerned. But she gets back up and does her walk. Then she falls getting off the runway. Johnny and Destiny watched shocked. He worries she is limping but she says she’s fine. Backstage, everyone cheers her though Kelly thinks she’s done.

Kiara has a breathing attack. Yvonne takes a turn on the runway, followed by Darian and Allyssa. Then Brittany. Just a reminder, Brittany could’ve been a finalist. Anyway, Laura takes her second turn. Rob says the crowd loves her but Tyra wants her to relax her hand. Kiara goes next. Kelly praises how she’s done. Johnny gives Leila a pep talk before sending her on her second turn. She walks and doesn’t seem to have an problems. Kelly yells at her to “work it.” Johnny gives her a high five when she returns.

Time for the finale! Sophie leads them out in their final turn. There are hugs all arou…Waitaminute. Where was Victoria? We’ve never seen her. Or Jessie. Did they not walk? And if so, why not? Even if you don’t win, I can’t see how doing the runway would hurt. Someone else might see you. Anyway, Johnny says he can’t pick who will win.

COMMERCIALS!

Time for the final judgment! Scores will be determined based on challenge score averages and fan score averages. Is this fair to Leila? She didn’t have a few challenges so her average will be down. Anyway, there are judges—Kelly Cutrone, Rob Evans and Bryanboy. There are prizes (which I will last as it is the finale): a feature in Nylon Magazine, face of “Dream Come True,” contracts with LA Models and NY Model Management, $100,000 cash prize, campaigns with Smashbox and Nine West.

Laura is first. She could win $30,000 scholarship money. They show her final walk. They point out her cupped hand. Kelly doesn’t know if she’s a runway model while Rob thinks she’s commercial. Laura says she’s scared of being commercial. And being too sexy. Tyra says it’s a founded fear. Kiara is next and could win $40,000 scholarship money. We see her walk. Bryanboy loves her walk. Kelly says it was a pleasure to watch. Rob praises her as well. Tyra likes she was able to walk down the stairs and still look ahead. Leila is last and could win $10,000 scholarship money. We get to relive her falls. Tyra tells her she didn’t swing her arms and didn’t have the balance. Kelly says it wasn’t great and silences Leila’s explanation. Tyra thinks the walk is in Leila but she got stuck in her head.

Kelly notes Laura was in the middle of fighting. Rob isn’t thrilled with the picture. Bryanboy loves it though as does Tyra. Bryanboy isn’t thrilled with Kiara’s shot but her fans like it. Rob likes the top half but not the bottom half. Tyra tells her she needs to pop. And she ended up with a tiny head so she needed to lean forward. Leila is last. Kelly loves the shot and declares it the best. Tyra calls it the lovechild of commercial and high fashion. Leila’s fan flirts with Rob before praising Leila’s shot. Rob tells her to work on her runway.

COMMERCIALS!

The judges deliberate. Kelly calls Kiara the best catwalker and Rob agrees. Tyra loves the waterfall shot but Kelly reminds them of the zombie shot. Rob brings up the jail shoot and Tyra the Dream Come True shot. Kelly thinks Leila is a great model who can’t walk. They love her zombie shot and her in the waterfall. Tyra loves her look and Nylon loves Leila. Tyra likes Laura’s body type but Kelly isn’t sure about her catwalk. Laura didn’t impress at the waterfall shoot. Kelly thinks Leila’s re-entry shook Laura up. Rob loves her naked shoot. Kelly loves her steampunk shot. Time for the judges to give each girl a score.

COMMERCIALS!

Time for the reveal! Who will be America’s Next Top Model? Let’s find out. We’re going to find out who isn’t America’s Next Top Model. And it’s…Leila! Really? Wow. I thought she’d win. Looks like the runway did her in. Tyra reminds her she made a comeback. Leila says she had hoped to make them proud. But her mother is.

So now it’s between Kiara and Laura. Kiara: Not a strong start, but rose to be a shining star. Laura: Strong start but lost steam when Leila came back. So who is America’s Next Top Model? It is…Laura. She goes nuts and hugs Tyra. Kiara is crying as Tyra hugs. She tells her she is strong. She can sing and she can succeed. Kiara hugs Laura and says she will finish school. Her grandmother comforts her.

Laura is still celebrating. Her parents come out to congratulate her. Even dad is crying. The judges come to hug everyone. Even Tyra starts crying. The two pose for pictures and Laura yells out her victory.

America’s Next Top Model: Laura

Allyssa
Brittany
Darian
Destiny
Jessie
Kiara
Kristin
Leila**
Maria*
Nastasia
Victoria
Yvonne

*Contestant walked away from competition
**Contestant re-entered competition after being eliminated

That was surprising. When Leila re-entered the competition, I thought she had it in the bag. There was a time when it seemed Laura was going to win, but Leila’s re-entry threw that into doubt. And the last few episodes almost seemed to be setting up a “Kiara comes from behind to win it all” arc. But I guess Laura fits in with other Top Model winners.

And so that was Cycle 19. I’m sure you know by now that Cycle 20 is indeed happening and it will feature male contestants as well as female. There’s a warrant out for Rob’s arrest so I don’t know if it’ll be resolved in time for him to be a judge. But then again, Cycle 20 isn’t until the summer so who knows? Yes, we have to wait until the summer.

Until then, happy holidays!

Quote of the Episode:
“This is fashion. What is there to be crazy about?”—Johnny Wujeck, Voice of Reason

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