Tyra talks about the British. So apparently it’s the British vs Americans. Doesn’t England already have “Britain’s Next Top Model”?
Wanna be on top?
Anyway, the girls arrive as AzMarie hopes to get the andronygous corner. We meet the small town girl who is happy to be California. We meet Annaliese, who is a model and TV presenter. Nigel Barker and Ms. J come out with a marching band…Is Ms. J wearing a kilt? Please tell me “no.” Mariah is Native American. Kyle, our small town girl, isn’t happy to hear it’s British vs Americans. Anyway, apparently they are going to throw a fierce parade followed by a runway challenge.
Commercial for Express! I didn’t see Lisa…
The girls get ready for their “fierce parade.” The Americans exchange sign information. Laura is a bisexual who is attracted to AzMarie, who is a lesbian. We got a Scot on board! Why the hell is she being subtitled? At least she realizes she will be. Oh, these girls were all on Britain’s Next Top Model. Laura flips out over them. Our Scot, Ashley, is already a mother. Aww. We meet our plus sized model Seymone, who will have to become a dental assistant if she doesn’t win. One of the Brits thinks the Americans are too loud.
The Brits aren’t used to parades. Mr. Jay hosts the parade. When the Brits roll through, the crowd goes silent. Should I be glad that Ms. J is no longer wearing a kilt? Anyway, Michael Buffer comes over to help with the competition. First up is Laura vs. Annaliese. They trash talk before hitting the runway. Next is Catherine vs. Mariah followed by Jasmia and AzMarie. Jasmia flings the coat in AzMarie’s face. It is on.
Commercials!
Back to the parade of fierce. Candace vs. Ashley. Ashley is upset Candace called her a “trick.” Alisha vs. Eboni. Sophie vs. Kyle. Louise vs. Seymone. Both are plus size models. The girls finish and head back stage. The British believe an American girl will go home first. They want to get rid of the Americans.
The girls go to their house. Laura’s like “We have a diner and a pool.” Catherine says that the Americans have a small closet. The Brits expect a sit down while the Americans hit the pool naked.
TYRA MAIL! “Prepare to clash cultures.” Kyle thinks it’ll be a switch—Americans as Brits and vice versa.
Mr. Jay greets the girls. He’s going to pair the girls who will be representing an iconic figure from their respective countries. Just a note: Tyra does not count. They will take a 3-D photo as they jump on the trampolines.
Catherine (Queen Elizabeth) vs. AzMarie (George Washington): Catherine thinks she’s strong competition.
Candace (Janet Jackson) vs. Annaliese (Mel B): Jay wanted tension.
Laura (Madonna) vs. Alisha (Elton John): Didn’t we give Madonna to the Brits? Did they send them back. Jay tells Alisha she looks more like “Thriller” than “Benny and the Jets.” Mr. Jay thinks she gave a spoof of Elton John rather than a fashion interpretation. Sophie thinks the Brits are starting to crack. Laura is surprised.
Commercials!
We come back to Jay giving advice.
Seymone (Michelle Obama) vs. Sophie (Margaret Thatcher): Sophie’s not thrilled with the wig. And thinks Seymone looks like a fly caught in a wind screen.
Kyle (Andy Warhol) vs. Louise (Amy Winehouse): Jay reminds Kyle of the angles and her camera. He also thinks Louise is getting reserved.
Mariah (Pocahontas) vs. Jasmia (John Lennon): Anyone surprised they made Mariah a Native American? Mariah thinks it’s a lot to live up to. Jasmia says there is a limitation for ethnic models in the UK.
Eboni (Jackie Kennedy) vs. Ashley (Princess Diana): Ashley says she’s thinking too much. She starts crying and the Brits feel bad for her. Please don’t send my Scot home! Mr. Jay gives her a pep talk.
And the skull and crossbones return with no promise of anybody walking the plank. Shame. The girls get nervous for panel.
Ashley calls home. I’m really nervous for Ashley. I like her. And her accent.
Commercials.
LA! Tyra looks lovely as she greets the wannabes who are wearing patriotic lipstick. Tyra says the Americans shouldn’t expect to be favored. Judges! Nigel Barker is back. Andre Leon Talley has left but we now have Kelly Cutrone, a PR maven. And Kelly Osbourne is the guest judge! I love her on Fashion Police! Prizes will be copied out at the final. But I don’t like how Lisa looks in her “Dreams Come True” ad. Eboni and Ashley are up first. Kelly recognizes Ashley as being Scottish. And I like Kelly as a blonde, not the color she has now. Neither Eboni nor Ashley get stellar complements. Laura and Alisha. Kelly yells at Laura for being so negative and says the shot was great. Alisha doesn’t impress the panel.
Catherine and AzMarie are next. Nigel loves Catherine while Tyra wanted more “oomph” from AzMarie. Mariah and Jasmia come up. Kelly doesn’t like either shot. Nigel thinks Mariah had an easy task and says she just looks pretty. Kyle and Louise follow them. Kelly likes Kyle as Andy Warhol and as a blonde. I smell someone’s makeover! Nigel doesn’t like Louise’s angels. Candace and Annaliese are next. They don’t like Annaliese’s face or energy. Kelly likes it as a dance off but Tyra doesn’t feel Janet Jackson. Last is Seymone and Sophie. Nigel loves Seymone’s shot. Kelly likes both of them together. Tyra loves Sophie’s Margaret Thatcher. Time for the judges to deliberate.
DELIBERATION! Nigel thinks AzMarie is a bit weak. Kelly is impressed by Catherine’s risks. Kelly loves Laura as Madonna as does Nigel. Kelly doesn’t like Alisha’s pose. Kelly doesn’t see Elton John. Mariah didn’t impress Nigel or Kelly. Nigel thinks Jasmia is weak. Kelly loves Seymone as does Tyra. Kelly thinks Sophie can become anything. Kelly loves Kyle’s shot of Andy Warhol. Kelly likes Louise’s photo but thinks it’s just being pretty. Nigel has an issue with Candace’s energy both in the shot and in person. Tyra admits to loving Mel B back in the day and doesn’t see it in Annaliese. Eboni doesn’t do anything for the judges and Nigel calls Ashley a “royal mess.”
It’s Bianca!
ELIMINATION! First to be called is Seymone. Apparently Michelle Obama watches the show with Malia and Sasha. Anyway, she is joined by Kyle, Sophie, Laura, Catherine, Candace, Mariah, AzMarie, Eboni—all the American girls are safe—Louise, Alisha, and Annaliese. That leaves Jasmia and Ashley in the bottom two. Jasmia: Had John Lennon and didn’t embody him. Ashley: Had Princess Diana and didn’t show off the amazing eyes. So who stays? Ashley! My Scot gets to stay! She hugs Jasmia. The judges liked Ashley’s personality in panel. Tyra tells Ashley to bring it and do better.
Tyra hugs Jasmia and tells her to be natural. Everyone hugs Jasmia as she wishes them luck. She starts crying as she says she didn’t get to accomplish her goal.
America’s Next Top Model:
Alisha
Annaliese
Ashley
AzMarie
Candace
Catherine
Ebonee
Laura
Louise
Mariah
Seymone
Sophie
And it is on! I am intrigued with this cycle’s idea, though I wish they had held off a couple cycles to pit seasoned Britain’s Next Top Model contestants vs. seasoned America’s Next Top Model contestant. But the cultural clash is interesting. Like how the Brits all comfort one another while the Americans are standing there like, “What are you doing?” Right now, the girls are sticking to their own, but I’m sure we’ll have some transatlantic friendships soon.
As for our new judge, I like her. It makes sense to have a PR person on the panel. Andre judged thinks from an editorial standpoint, she can judge things from a marketing one. So I look forward to good things.
Right now, my favorite American model is Mariah. I like her looks. From the Brits, I like Ashley and Sophie.
Next week: Makeovers! Kris Jenner and she brings Kylie and Kendall with her.
Quote of the Episode:
“It’s called ‘America’s Next Top Model’ for a reason."—Laura, an American wannabe
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