Star Trek Beyond: To Boldly Go

I’ve reviewed the other ones, so I figured it was only fitting that I review the third movie in this trilogy.

Yes, it was sad to see Anton Yelchin after his untimely death in June. The world has been deprived of a great talent who had a promising career ahead of him. But his work as Chekov, especially in this film, will live on.

So let’s go beyond, where no SPOILERS have gone before!

OUAT: Even Dwarfs Have Dreams

Last time on Once Upon a Time’s first season: Kathryn told David that she had been accepted into law school in Boston. After talking with Mary Margaret, he agreed he was going to tell Kathryn about them and that he couldn’t go to Boston. He did tell her the latter but omitted the former. Regina told Kathryn about the affair, leading her to confront Mary Margaret in the school hallway. Mary Margaret was heartbroken to learn David lied to her and that she was now the town harlot. She decided to break it off with David.

Emma learned the name of the mysterious stranger—August. He invited her out for that drink, taking her to the wishing well. However, he didn’t tell her he took the storybook and did something weird with it. He let her find it in a storm drain and she returned it to Henry, both excited.

In the past, Charming made a break for it ahead of his marriage to Princess Couldn’t Care Less. George’s soldiers pursued but Charming got an assist from an unlikely ally—Princess Couldn’t Care Less herself! She revealed she was in love with one of her father’s soldiers, Frederick, but he was turned to gold while saving Midas. There was a way to turn him back and she asked Charming to go get water from Lake Nostos.

Charming did so, facing down a nymph along the way. She transformed herself into Snow White to trap him but he was able to fight back, saving himself from the fate that had befallen others who had tried to get the water. He returned with the water, allowing Abigail to free Frederick. They were reunited and Abigail wished Charming luck in finding Snow.

He found Red instead and the two rode away from King George’s army in hopes of finding Snow.
Kathryn decided to give David and Mary Margaret her blessing and left Storybrooke. Regina stole the letter she wrote David, though, and burned it.

At the same time, the gym teacher found Kathryn’s car off the road…and abandoned.

Uh oh.

We open above the clouds. The Blue Fairy sits there and watches as a fairy in pink crash lands on one of the clouds. She holds up a bag before popping up to reveal everyone’s favorite adorably quirky actress—Amy Acker! She’s playing Nova, who is a fairy who longs to be a fairy godmother. Blue laughs at this dream and says she needs to master delivering the fairy dust, their most precious commodity, before she can do anything else. Disappointed, Nova follows Blue as some fairy dust falls out of the bag and dances on the wind.

(Hi, Amy Acker!)

The camera zooms down below ground where a dwarf says a giant egg is about to hatch. Another dwarf doesn’t believe so, saying that the whole group isn’t due to hatch until that night. But the first dwarf says that one must be impatient.

As they watch, the egg is broken up. Leroy leans out, his beard long and his expression wide-eyed. He’s also smiling as he takes in his new world. The other two dwarfs welcome him to it.

(Welcome, Dwarf!)

OUAT: Bombshell

Last time on Once’s First Season: Gold repossessed florist Moe French’s van right before Valentine’s Day due to non-payment on a loan or whatever racket Gold is running. Moe got revenge by breaking in and stealing things from Gold’s house. One item in particular incensed Gold and he went after Moe despite Emma’s warnings not to. She rescued Moe from Gold, locking him up when he refused to explain why he was beating the man senseless.

In the Enchanted Forest, Moe was a duke named Maurice. He asked the Dark One for help in the Ogre Wars and Rumple’s price was Maurice’s daughter, Belle. She agreed to go be the Dark One’s servant to help her people. Over time, she and Rumple grew closer and she came to love him. He felt the same but feared it.

After killing her fiancé Gaston, Rumple tested Belle. He sent her out to the village, fully expecting her not to return. Belle met Regina, who told her about True Love’s Kiss. Eager, Belle returned home and used it on him. When he realized it, though, he flipped out and threw her in a cell. He then let her go, saying he loved his power more than her. Belle didn’t believe that but left.

Later, Regina went to Rumple and told him that Belle had died. She gloated before he threw her out of Dark One Manor.

Regina visited Gold in jail and gave him back his chipped teacup. She then got him to reveal that he has his memories and there was clear animosity between them. The episode ended with Regina going deep in the hospital to visit someone locked up—Belle.

We open in the Enchanted Forest. Princess Can’t Be Bothered is greeted by King George, arriving in No-Name Kingdom for her wedding to Prince “James.” She asks if everything’s alright and he assures her it is. He then turns to his knights and orders them to find “him.”

(She looks so beautiful and so bored)

“Him” is David, who is riding as hard as possible. The knights pursue him and he has to hide from them, pulling himself and his horse off the road. Confused, they turn back and David breaths out in relief…until he is knocked out.

(They'll never find me in this bright red cloak!)

OUAT: Something There...

Last time on Once’s 1st season: In the aftermath of the storm, Henry’s beloved playground was torn down. Suspicious of Regina’s motives, Emma teemed up with Sidney to find dirt on the mayor. They thought they caught her stealing money to build a mansion for herself in the middle of the woods…but Regina revealed it was really to build a new playground to replace the one that was destroyed. Emma looked ridiculous and Regina looked good, just like she wanted when she had Sidney set Emma up.

We learn that in the Enchanted Forest, Sidney was the genie in the lamp. King Leopold found him and brought him back to his palace. There, the Genie fell in love with the queen and saw how lonely she was, how she was often ignored for Snow White. Regina asked him to kill the king for her so they could be together and the Genie did so. She then revealed it was all a trick and when the Genie used the wish Leopold granted him to wish to be with her always, he got trapped in her mirror. So Sidney is both the Genie of the Lamp and the Magic Mirror!

After Emma’s stunt, Regina banned her from seeing Henry. And it was revealed that August stole the storybook, though not why.

Hmm…

We open in a new place in the Enchanted Forest as several people are gathered around a map. Ogres are invading and the situation looks dire for this town. A young brunette in a familiar gold dress hovers, listening as the men wonder if “he” will come as promised. She tries to assure one of the men, her father, as knocking interrupts their meeting.

(Gee, wonder who this is?)

As everyone tenses up, the doors open to reveal...no one. The Dark One then laughs, sitting in Maurice's seat. He says he’s come to help them as the lord grouses that he’s late. Rumple, though, still offers to give them help. And in return, he wants to keep Lord Maurice’s daughter. I’m sure you can already see where this is going, right?

(The beast?)

His daughter, Belle, steps up and volunteers to go. Lord Maurice and Gaston, her fiancé, are against it. She says this is how she will be able to help their people. Rumple tells her that it will be forever but she still agrees, making a deal with him.

As we all know by now, Rumple is the beast from Beauty and the Beast. Let’s check out the beginnings of Rumbelle, hmm?

The Nine Lives of Christmas

It’s that time of the year again! Yep, it’s time for Hallmark to reveal this year’s ornament and so the Hallmark Channel gets to bust out the Christmas movies for a week, even though we’re all floating in the pool right now.

But I’m going to post some things about the Hallmark Christmas movies to contribute to this week. So put on a Santa hat or reindeer antlers, put on some Christmas music and let’s pretend it’s December!

Ho ho ho SPOILERS!

Crown for Christmas: Hallmark’s Obligatory “Princess for Christmas” Movie

Seriously. Are they required to make one of these every Christmas season? They are going to run out of ways to do this plot.

As we enter Hallmark’s annual “Christmas in July” week, let’s take a look at 2015’s offering.

Watch out for SPOILERS!

Outlander: Dining with the Enemy

Last time on “Outlander:” Jamie found his days jam-packed as he tried to juggle ruining Prince Charles’ cause from the inside and being a prominent Parisian businessman. Claire, though, found herself growing bored of gossiping at Louise’s—even as she discovered that Mary Hawkins was Frank’s ancestor.

However, Claire found a purpose when Master Raymond told her about a hospital in need of help. Murtagh escorted her down there and though Mother Hildegard is a bit suspicious at first, Claire soon won her over. Jamie, though, was less than thrilled about his wife spending all hours at the hospital—especially when he needed her. The meeting between the Minister of Finance and Prince Charles didn’t go as he thought and Jamie learned that Charles had secured a good amount of funding for his cause. He stormed out of the house and went to the brothel.

There, he found a young boy stealing from the patrons. Jamie chased him down and offered him a job. The boy, now named Fergus, agreed and went home with the Frasers. Jamie explained to Claire that Fergus could steal letters from Charles’ supporters so they could learn who the prince’s funders were. She admitted it was a good idea.

One of the letters Fergus took led Jamie to seek the help of Mother Hildegard, a trained musician. He and Claire were then able to discern that the Duke of Sandringham was Prince Charles’ benefactor. And so they plotted to have a dinner, hoping to dissuade the duke and anyone else from supporting the Jacobite cause.

Let’s see how that dinner goes, hmm?

I still really like the credits. Will the French chorus be dropped, though, once they go back to Scotland? Hmm…

We open in Versailles, where Jamie is playing a chess game with Duveney. Claire watches her husband and the Minister asks if they’ve thought of any names. She admits that she was hoping to name the baby after her uncle, Lambert. Jamie shoots it down as too English. He suggests a name that has Claire crinkling her noise in disgust.

(The Frasers...debating baby names)

OUAT: Lost in the Darkness

Yep, since we now know the new recurring characters for Season 6A are Jekyll and Hyde, I’m going to be using songs from the musical as recap titles. Enjoy!

Last time on “Once:” Robin was still dead and the Merry Men took Roland back to the Enchanted Forest. But Regina was off with Emma chasing down Henry, who is trying to destroy magic, so he said his goodbyes to ZELENA. Because that makes sense.

Anyway, Rumple pursued Henry to New York to get the magic back so he could free Belle from Pandora’s box. Regina had some self-realization going on and the other leads got stuck in a world populated by Jekyll and Hyde.

Now onto part II…

Jekyll comes to in a straightjacket and he’s like “Great.” Hyde also left him a note, gloating about besting him. But Jekyll notices the Orderly asleep and manages to relieve him of his keys. Score 1 for Dr. Jekyll.

He returns to the cage and apologizes that he lost the wand. They aren’t thrilled to hear that. But he does tell them he got the key, so he can let them out. He thinks he knows where the Warden hid the wand so he can take them there. Then they can all go to Storybrooke. They bust out.

Jekyll leads them through a market place filled with an array of people. He explains that this is a land of untold stories, a place where all types of characters congregate. Intriguing.

(How many characters can you spot?)

OUAT: Going Rogue

Last time on “Once:” They killed Robin. They killed my ship. And Hades. But above all, they killed Robin and let Sean Maguire go. They. Are. Morons.

Oh, Zelena killed Hades and Zeus brought Hook back to life.

But still, THEY KILLED ROBIN AND OBLITERATED HIS SOUL!

Yes, I’m still PISSED! So there may still be rants ahead. You have been warned.

We open at the repast following Robin’s (sob) funeral. There’s a picture of him in his Enchanted Forest gear which…has to be up there with the random Outlaw Queen screencap had in a picture frame back in Season 4A. Little John, Granny and a few Merry Men toast him along with Roland, who has chocolate milk. Regina sits in a booth, looking lost as the the Charmings approach her. Snow tells her she doesn’t have to go through this alone and Zelena pops up to say she’s going to be there for her sister during this time.

(Even Roland is there, toasting with chocolate milk. I'M NOT OKAY)

Violet is back and she approaches Henry. She tells him that she’s sorry about Robin and then tells him she was worried while he was in the Underworld. He says he was worried too and they have a sweet moment.

I’d appreciate it more if it wasn’t at Robin’s funeral.

OUAT: There is Suffering Too Terrible to Name

That’s right. I’m using Hamilton lyrics. And if you know Hamilton, you know those lyrics are from one of the most heart-breaking songs in the show.

You have been warned.

Last time on “Once:” Hades rescued Zelena from Rumple and Pan and they shared True Love’s Kiss. He took everyone’s names off the tombstones but Hook was still unable to leave the Underworld. Hades told them of a nectar Hook could eat and it would allow him to leave. Emma and Hook headed down to where the tree was while the others waited.

After convincing Robin to let Zelena take his daughter with Hades, he then stood with her and Henry as Henry wrote pages for the denizens of the Underworld. Cruella and the Blind Witch trapped them in the library and the heroes realized Hades was really behind it.

Further down, Emma weighed her heart but it appeared she and Hook did not share True Love. But when each chose the other over saving themselves, a door opened and their love was confirmed to be true. They discovered, though, that the ambrosia tree was cut down and realized Hades did it.

In the past, Emma met a bails bond person named Cleo, who tried to take Emma back to Phoenix. Emma discovered that there might be information about her and her parents so Cleo agreed to take her to the courthouse. Unsatisfied with what she found, Emma broke back in and Cleo had to come after her. They ended up running from the cops and Cleo was fatally wounded in the process. Emma ran off and changed her life, becoming a bails bond person. She also gave some closure to the daughter Cleo gave up for adoption.

As the portal to Storybrooke opened, Emma and Hook came to grips with the fact he could not return home. They had a bittersweet goodbye before Emma returned to help the others bust out of the library. They all made it into the portal as Rumple sent his father to the River o’ Souls, having returned Robin’s heart without Pan knowing.

Brace yourself. This is going to be painful.

And ranty.

OUAT: Weighing Your Heart

Last time on “Once:” Hades proposed to Zelena, offering to leave the heroes in the Underworld while the two of them took over Storybrooke. She didn’t say yes or no, but Regina was concerned. After talking to Zelena did nothing, she called in the big guns—Cora.

Hook helped Regina bust Cora out of her Underworld prison while David ran errands. Along the way, he ran into his twin brother James—who tased him and then pretended to be him. He went with Emma to drop supplies off for Robin Hood, taking Robin and Peanut with Cruella. They wanted to give Hades Peanut for a chance to be alive again.

Cora decided that they needed to give Zelena some water from one of the rivers of the Underworld that would make her forget about her feelings for Hades. So she went to the farmhouse and had a talk with her eldest while Regina waited for the moment to give her the water. But Zelena saw through it and the sisters fought again. Cora stopped them and revealed memories she had stolen from them years ago.

As a child, a lonely Regina used her mother’s wand in an attempt to turn her doll into a sister. She was knocked unconscious, forcing Cora to retrieve Zelena from Oz so she could heal Regina. Regina and Zelena bonded, becoming the best of friends. But when they realized they were sisters, Cora sent Zelena back to Oz and made both girls forget about their bond.

Their memories now restored, Regina and Zelena seemed to have a fresh start. Cora was able to go to the happy place and Regina agreed to let Zelena try to change Hades. Meanwhile, David and Hook came to Emma’s and Robin’s rescue. While Cruella got away, David ended up struggling with James and threw him into the harbor, trapping his twin in the River o’ Souls.

In the end, Regina agreed to let Zelena meet with Hades to try and change him. But Rumple and Peter Pan intercepted and kidnapped her instead.

Out on Main Street, most of the main cast argues about Regina’s choice to let Zelena go to Hades. Hook in particular thinks that the queen has gone mad. Regina insists they give Zelena a chance. They are then surprised and alarmed when Hades shows up. He tells them he is there for their help as Zelena never showed up for their date. Instead, he got a ransom note from Rumple and Peter Pan. While Regina looks ready to strangle the two, Emma asks why they should help Hades. He tells her if she does, he’ll take their names off the graves and let them go home.

(Hades looks as surprised as the heroes)

OUAT: Family Dynamics

Last time on “Once”: Red woke up and informed her friends that she came from Oz to find Zelena because she did something to Dorothy and Red wanted to know what it was. Hades warned Zelena about Red’s appearance and she tried to escape but Regina prevented her. Confronted, Zelena admitted to putting Dorothy under a sleeping curse and handed over her slippers so Red could get back. The only problem was finding someone to give Dorothy True Love’s Kiss.

It was decided to find Auntie Em, who ended up running a diner in the Underworld. She agreed to help but Hades trapped her in the River o’ Souls to prevent her from doing so. He then informed everyone that people who helped the heroes would also be thrown into the River o’ Souls. The heroines were not pleased.

Snow told Red that she should give Dorothy True Love’s Kiss because it was obvious to everyone that she loved Dorothy. So Red prepared to leave and take David with her so he could take care of Neal now that Cruella destroyed their one connection to him. But he got Hook to carve his name over Snow’s, allowing her to leave instead.

Back in Oz, Red and Mulan met Dorothy after Red accidentally scared off Toto. She and Dorothy didn’t get along but were forced to work together when Zelena kidnapped Toto. Red believed she scared Dorothy when she transformed into a wolf to take care of monkey but Dorothy ran off to confront Zelena. The witch used a sleeping curse on her, which Red ultimately broke with True Love’s Kiss as Mulan wondered what she was doing there.

Snow returned to Storybrooke and everyone else grew more resolute in their determination to get out of the Underworld.

A red car speeds along, Hades and Zelena inside of their way to a date. He takes her to a hill overlooking the Underworld’s version of Storybrooke and lays out a picnic for them. Hades asks her why she thought he brought here there and she says it’s her experience that men want one thing. He chuckles but tells her that he brought her up there to ask her something.

Hades reminds her that he made the Underworld to look like Storybrooke because he wanted to give her everything her sister had. But he knows it’s not the same. So if she restarts his heart, they can leave and take over Storybrooke for themselves. Zelena asks about the heroes and he reveals that after Snow’s switcheroo, he carved everyone’s name on the tombstones. So they’ll be trapped in the Underworld, leaving the two of them the freedom to cause chaos together.

Uh oh.

Outlander: Purpose

Last time on “Outlander:” Jamie managed to get a meeting with Prince Charlie. He and Claire realized they had to cut off any chance of him receiving money from the French king. Claire’s friend Louise invited them to join her and ward Mary Hawkins at Versailles, introducing them to the Minister of Finance. After a rather wet start, he became good friends with the Frasers, which was a relief to them.

Claire and Jamie found the Duke of Sandringham, who tried to grovel about giving the letter to Black Jack. He and Claire exchanged words before he introduced her to his secretary, Alexander Randall. She learned he was the brother of Black Jack and also learned that her foe was very much alive.
Now, she has to tell Jamie.

Or does she?

(Yes, yes she does).

Night turns to early morning as Jamie and Murtagh return from another night at the brothel with Prince Charles. He grabs a glass of wine and changes, ready to start a rather busy day. He has inspectors coming to Jared’s warehouse, is supposed to play chess with Duveney and then has another night with Prince Charles to look forward to. But he figures it’s worth a few nights of missed sleep and encourages Claire to go back to bed for their child’s sake.

She, though, is feeling a bit useless while Jamie does all the work. But he says her days with Louise might produce something useful. So he tells her to enjoy her day there as he hurries down the stairs. He pauses but only to ask if she’s seen his wooden snake. She hasn’t but she’ll have the servants do a search of the house. He thanks her and leaves.

(Wishes there was more for her to do)

OUAT: Making Good

I’m running out of Wicked songs to use now! That title is a song that was cut and replaced with “The Wizard and I”! If we see anymore of Oz, I may have to start recycling titles. Or move on to “The Wiz.”

Last time on “Once”: Belle ran into her former fiancé, Gaston, in the Underworld. And he was out for Rumple’s head, spurned on by Hades. Belle, though, was trying to get Rumple to use his magic for good and decided to help Gaston with his unfinished business…which turned out to be her. He blamed her for making him weak and leaving him vulnerable to Rumple. When he tried to attack Rumple, Belle ended up pushing Gaston into the River o’Souls. Hades had made Belle a deal but voided it because she didn’t follow it to the letter. So her baby was still in danger.

After a failed attempt at breaking into Hades’ lair, Emma went to the cemetery with Hook and Snow because a dream told her to. But the dream also warned her of her mother dying and she worked hard to prevent that from happening. Especially because she felt guilty for getting everyone in this situation. After she was assured she had nothing to feel guilty for, Regina joined them to seek out the creature that had ended up pursuing them. It ended up being a wolf…who Snow lays a cape over it to turn it back into Red!

Why is she there? Is she dead? Let’s find out!

We open in Oz…some time ago. This scene was one of the sneak peeks posted by ABC during the week and it original said “Many years ago,” which had confused fans since Red and Mulan were in it. By their reckoning, it should be part of the current timeline. Adam confirmed on Twitter that they were right and that ABC had screwed up the graph. Looks like he got to someone in editing in time to correct it.

Red and Mulan walk down a deserted road as Red tries to sniff out her pack. Mulan asks her about this land and Red says there’s some singing, or at least there was in the movie. We know Storybrooke showed it since everyone was familiar with it back in Season 3B. Red also points out it was a book and all I could think of was “Samantha: An American Girl” where Rebecca Mader played Aunt Cornelia, who gave Samantha “The Wizard of Oz” as a gift.

(Welcome back, you two!)

Outlander: A Glitzier Snake Pit

Last time on “Outlander”: Claire found herself in 1948 and she reunited with Frank. She connected better with Mrs. Graham while Frank tried to figure out what happened to his wife. Claire told him everything and he was pretty chill about it…until she revealed she was carrying Jamie’s baby. But after waging destruction on Wakefield’s shed that would make the Hulk proud and a conversation with Wakefield, Frank decided to commit to Claire and raise the child together. They went to Boston to start over.

In France, Claire and Jamie decided to infiltrate the Jacobite cause in order to prevent the destruction it will cause. Jamie convinced his cousin Jared of his supposed dedication and Jared promised to help. He asked Jamie to help run his wine importing business, which Jamie agreed to do.

On the docks, Claire diagnosed a dying sailor with smallpox. The harbormaster had to declare a ship infected and ordered it—and its cargo—burned. Its own, the Comte St. Germaine, warned Claire and Jamie that they had made a dangerous enemy.

Uh oh.

We open with a sex scene. Ahh, welcome back, Outlander. Jamie and Claire have sex…but then it turns into Black Jack. Jamie freaks out and stabs him, blood going everywhere. Outlander really is back! Anyway, even though it appears Black Jack is dead, he opens his eyes and is like “Never gonna die!”

Jamie sits up, panting. Claire wakes up and asks if he had another nightmare. He tells her he did and she assures him that Black Jack is dead. But Jamie knows he won’t be getting anymore sleep. So he slips from bed and tells her to go back to sleep.

(Poor bby)

Zootopia: A Buddy Cop Film with Animals

When I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens, a scene from this film was played among the coming attractions. It was well-received and the entire theater was laughing. I knew it would be a big hit.
I was right.

For my birthday, I went on a Disney Cruise. And as is customary, Disney was playing its latest movies in the theaters. My parents finally got to see Star Wars and then on my birthday, we all went to see Zootopia in 3-D in the Walt Disney Theater.

And it was amazing.

Beware SPOILERS!

We are introduced to the set up of Zootopia via a school play. Long ago, animals were divided into predator and prey. But over centuries, they evolved until they were bipedal and could talk. Predators suppressed their savage instincts and began to live peacefully with predators. And the crown jewel of their civilization is Zootopia, a place where animals can be whatever they want.

And Judy Hopps (Della Saba) wants to be the first rabbit police officer.

OUAT: Nobody Seeks Revenge Like Gaston

Last time on “Once:” Rumple opened a portal for Hades to bring Peanut to the Underworld. It also brought Belle and a newly returned Zelena, who believed Hades wanted her daughter for the time travel spell she created back in Season 3. She pleaded with Belle to let her protect Peanut but Belle decided not to trust Zelena. So Zelena was forced to turn to Regina and Robin, who convinced Belle to give them Peanut. But they made the wrong decision to trust Zelena, who ran off with the baby.

Belle, meanwhile, learned she was pregnant…and that Rumple already gave it away centuries ago in a deal. She also learnt that he was the Dark One again and she ran off, unable to process everything.

In Oz, Hades sought out Zelena because he heard about her attempts to make a time travel spell. She tried to take the Scarecrow’s brain but a grown up Dorothy stopped her. Hades explained that he could lead Zelena to the Scarecrow and wanted to use her time travel spell to get revenge on Zeus, who stopped his heart until he received True Love’s Kiss. Which he figured was never going to happen. Feeling a connection with him, Zelena agreed to let him help. Together, they found the Scarecrow and Zelena took his brain. When she returned to her throne room, Hades revealed that he believed Zelena was his True Love and prepared to get a TLK from her. But she turned on him, thinking he wanted the time travel spell for himself. Hades went back to the Underworld and Zelena continued with her spell.

Afraid Hades wanted her daughter to enact the time travel spell, Zelena gave Peanut back to Robin for her own protection. Robin decided to go hide in the woods with her. Snow and Charming learned the message they sent their son made it and they grew more determined to get home.

Hades met with Zelena and assured her that he didn’t intend to hurt Peanut. He was trying to get her for Zelena because he still loved her. Zelena, though, wasn’t sure if he was playing her and so left him once again.

And now for tonight’s episode of “As the Underworld Turns”…

We open in the Enchanted Forest. Lord Maurice is back and trying to track down his daughter. Belle is in the stables and not even Regina’s riding coat can hide the fact Emilie de Ravin is heavily pregnant. But we’ll ignore that for now.

Outlander: Welcome Back!

Since I haven’t really recapped the last two episodes of season 1…mostly because I’m still forcing myself to watch them…I’ll skip the “Last time on Outlander” for this recap.

We open with Claire on the ground, wishing she were dead. She sits up and finds herself in the stone circle of Craig na Dun and rages against them.

(Poor Claire)

Next, she wonders onto a road and is surprised when a car honks at her. The driver gets out and asks if she’s okay. She asks what year it is and he replies it’s 1948. Claire then demands to know who won the Battle of Culloden. He is now certain she is mad and doesn’t answer. Claire almost assaults him but he finally answers that the British won. Distraught, Claire collapses to the ground and wails. 

(Only about five minutes in and we're already in so much pain)

Frank hurries down a hospital corridor and asks to see Claire Randall. A nurse brings him to a doctor, who explains that Claire is physically fine. She was a bit dehydrated and had some cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. He says they did have to sedate her and she’s not really talking. Frank thanks the doctor and enters her room as a radio plays. 

She asks him to turn it off, though she doesn’t realize it’s Frank yet. He does so as she comments about how loud it is there. At that point, she realizes it’s Frank in her room and she grows awkward. All she can say is “I’m back.”

OUAT: Wonderful

Last time on “Once:” Emma met Liam, Hook’s deceased older brother. He didn’t think she was good enough for Hook, which bothered her. Hook, meanwhile, believed Liam didn’t belong in the Underworld and together they were going to figure out how to defeat Hades. Henry had met the Apprentice and figured there was a storybook in the Sorcerer’s mansion. Meanwhile, Liam asked Emma to let Hook move on as Hook wondered if he was worth saving.

As they searched for the book, Hades paid Liam a visit and asked him to remove the pages pertaining to the god. He threatened to reveal the reason why Liam was in the Underworld to Killian and it worked. Liam removed the pages but Emma suspected him. When she told Hook of her suspicions, though, he took Liam’s side and stormed off.

In the past, Liam went to enlist so he could save himself and Killian from their time on Captain Silver’s ship. But when Silver got Killian drunk and tricked him into gambling away his money, Liam’s dreams of serving in the navy were dashed. They continued to sail with Silver until he took the crew on a suicidal mission to retrieve the Eye of the Storm. Liam and Killian led a mutiny and succeeded. But Hades made a deal with Liam and he lied, keeping them on their suicidal mission. In the end, only Liam and Killian made it out alive…but with the jewel. They were rescued by the royal navy of…wherever…and were given commissions on the spot.

Killian learned the truth as Silver and his crew took Liam. Hades taunted the Brothers Jones and Liam almost fell to his death. But when he sacrificed himself for Killian, he earned his place in the Happy Place. It also worked for the sailors he sacrificed, so after a goodbye to Killian—who decided to stay—they headed off to Happy Place.

Hook went back with Emma, determined to learn Hades’ secret and go home with Emma. Meanwhile, we learnt that the pages Liam ripped out featured Hades with Zelena!

dun dun DUN!

OUAT: Brotherly Love

Last time on “Once:” Rumpelstiltskin recruited his ex-wife and Hook’s former lover, Milah, to help him and Emma rescue Hook. It worked but Hades made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, who ended up killing Milah again and lying about it. Typical Rumple.

Regina went searching for Daniel’s grave and found that he moved on. She also had some closure with her horse.

In the past, Bae suffered a snakebite that was poisonous. But the antidote was too expensive for his parents. Milah convinced Rumple to kill the healer and steal it. While she was flirting with Hook, he tried to do so but instead made a deal with the healer for it. He agreed to give the healer his second born child, much to Milah’s horror. Rumple failed to see the problem.

Until he thought about having children with Cora. He killed the healer but it seemed the deal didn’t die, especially in the Underworld. Hades had the contract Rumple signed and he revealed that Belle was pregnant. And Rumple was going to do what he wanted or Hades would take his child.

Uh oh.

Henry needs an adult. He’s in Cruella’s car as she speeds through the woods in the Underworld. She’s certain they can find someone who can lead them to the pen there and stops, letting Henry so they can search. 

(This is a dangerous situation)