Tyra starts the episode saying that everyone must be expecting the typical casting episode. Then she perfectly mocks every type of girl that comes before Tyra and the Jays—the one who has no clue about fashion, the one who’ll do anything but have the makeover meltdown, the one with the tattoos, and the tough as nails individual. Tyra says they are scrapping that this season and going straight into the competition.
But first she’s going to punk the wannabes. Because that show is still totally relevant now.
She wants to introduce the girls to rejection because it is one of the first things you face in this industry. And she tells us some of the girls think they’ve experienced the worst but it gets worse during the cycle. And of course the one contestant with my name is the house bitch. Of course. So, what did Tyra and the Jays do? Well, let’s go meet the girls thinking they’re coming for a casting episode on the tarmac, shall we?
Each girl walks for the Jays. Tyra compares Monique to Shalom Harlow and notes that Kasia has been in V Magazine—and is a plus-size model. Sara has the androgynous aspect Liz had but Tyra wants to take scissors to her rat-tail. Tyra meets the girls and sends them to mingle. She and the Jays make their final selections before the Jays go to give the girls the envelopes. Mr. Jay tells the girls that some of the girls aren’t going to panel—those without a photo. The Jays instruct the girls to open them. Now, Tyra’s told you who made it—watch them cry. And why is Ms. J wearing pink? The girls with photos follow the Jays as the girls cry.
A casting producer brings them to get their luggage before taking them to the bus. But first, she says Tyra is going to say good-bye. She comes down the stairs and tells them not to give up. She calls the road to the top a zig-zag, not a straight line. So, she has to send them home, but not far—THEY ARE IN THEIR HOUSE! The girls scream and freak out as they realize they are the contestants. Poor Ondrei collapses and Tyra has to help her up. Since this is cycle 16, the house is decorated with pictures of Tyra at 16.
As Tyra leaves, the girls go to explore their LA digs. Brittani is amazed as she came from a trailer park and now is in a penthouse. The girls try to have a house meeting but 14 girls +1 house=chaos. They realize there are only 12 beds. They figure that two girls are about to go home and Brittani says you never know what they’re going to pull next.
So, as we go to commercials, you want to know what I want to see? The Jays telling the girls with pictures, who think they made it, that it was a ruse and they aren’t finalists. Seriously. I want to see that.
TYRA MAIL! “Let’s get the ball rolling, shall we?” Time for dumb guesses! Bowling! Well, that kinda makes sense.
Anyway, the Model Mobile takes them to meet Jay Manuel and Erin Wasson—a model, stylist and jewelry designer. The girls are going to be in a runway show in Malibu. The girls will be walking on an Alexander Wang runway in water…in a giant hamster ball. And the girls will have a backstage photoshoot. Our first photographer is Russell James, who hopes their energy comes to the shoot.
So, the girls hit hair and makeup. I still miss Sutan. Russell starts taking pictures of the girls as they get ready. Mr. Jay loves Ondrei’s intensity and has to correct Alexandria’s lips. Kasia feels she has a leg up but she’s going to work harder since she’s plus-size. Jaclyn, with her sweet Southern drawl, wants help with her “baby face.” Molly is our former sports—I’m very competitive wannabe. Angelia feels that all the traveling she did as an army brat really helped her. And hey, I think I found this cycle’s group shot! Or at least pre-makeover group shot. Ms. J and Erin (who will be the guest judge) will be watching.
Alexandria is first. She manages the hamster ball. Ondrei is third out and she falls on the return trip. I think the Soup showed a clip of this, but I changed the channel so as not to be spoiled.
MALIBU! We see Ondrei go down again and Ms. J yells “Be fabulous.” She tries to get up and get out of the pool. Mr. Jay instructs Molly who survives the hamster ball. Mr. Jay calls Sara clumsy but she does catch herself before she falls. Dalya walks hands on hips and Brittani rocks the runway. Dominique thinks she got a defective bubble and is the second girl to take a tumble. You got to love the music the crew chooses for this scene.
Ms. J and Erin praise Brittani’s walk. Erin says she didn’t think she could walk in a hamster ball and gives them a piece of jewelry.
Skull and Crossbones! Maybe this cycle…why is Hannah channeling Britney Spears circa “Hit Me Baby”? Anyway, someone better walk a plank this cycle!
It seems Alexandria has taking Jaclyn on as a project.
LA! We see Tyra come in and get a hug from Andre Leon Talley. She welcomes the girls. And apparently that Andre on her shirt. Anyway, there are judges—Nigel Barker and Andre. And the guest judge, Erin! There are prizes: $100,000 contract with Cover Girl, a contract with IMG Models, a spread in Italian Vogue and Beauty in Vogue, a cover of Beauty in Vogue and getting featured on their website. Tyra says that fashion designers care about what goes on backstage as well as on the runway.
Erin likes how Monique’s looks real and Andre gets her excitement. For Mikaela, Andre calls her the next big star and Nigel loves her jawline. Dominique is just there, according to Nigel. Erin praises Dominique for being a great sport after taking a tumble. Jaclyn is next and Tyra calls her stunning. But it was the only good shot from her film. Andre asks Tyra if she would go to a go-see with a bare midriff like Molly. Erin says she loved watching Molly. Lastly, Brittani gets the fashion tips. But Tyra calls her stunning and calm in her picture.
Someone’s getting eliminated after these COMMERCIALS!
LA! The judges deliberate. Nigel thinks the light just loves Alexandria. He doesn’t think Nicole isn’t really present in her picture. Andre thinks Sara fills the need for the quirky model. Erin thinks Hannah could turn into a sex kitten. Andre doesn’t like Kasia’s picture but wants her to continue. Andre sees Mikaela on a cover of Italian Vogue. Tyra loves the invisible wind machine in Molly’s picture. Erin’s a fan of Brittani.
Never mind, someone’s getting eliminated after these COMMERCIALS!
God-dammit, Tyra, would you stop punking me?
ELIMINATION! Best photo goes to…Molly! Her photo will be displayed in their house, as usual. Molly is joined by: Brittani, Alexandria, Mikaela, Dayla, Hannah, Ondrei, Monique, Nicole, Kasia, Jaclyn, and Sara. That leaves Dominique and Angelia in the bottom two. Angelia: So beautiful, but the picture had no emotional connection. Prettiest girl but not the strongest model? Dominique: Freckled, unique, stunning girl but the photo didn’t capture what’s inside. So, who stays? Dominique, mostly because Tyra said she had plans for her for makeover. The judges also see a fire and a sparkle. Tyra hugs Angelia and tells her to practice.
Angelia says she’s shocked to be going home. She says she’s not just a pretty face and didn’t get a chance to prove it.
Oh, that wasn’t their group shot.
America’s Next Top Model:
Alexandria
Dalya
Dominique
Hannah
Jaclyn
Kasia
Mikaela
Molly
Monique
Nicole
Ondrei
Sara
And Angelia joins What’s-her-Name, Now-who-was-that-again? and You-Know-HER as the first contestant eliminated. I'm glad they did away with the casting episode as you all know I hate ‘em. So far, I like Brittani, Kasia, Mikaela and Jaclyn. What about you?
Next week: Acting! And bees!
Quote of the Episode:
“I would do anything, anything to be America’s Next Top Model. Except cut my hair.”—Tyra, mocking the casting episodes
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