So Clap Your Hands and Stomp Your Feet

Before “The Haunted Mansion,” before “Pirates of the Caribbean,” there was “The Country Bears.” Based on “The Country Bear Jamboree,” the movie is a campfest around every corner.

So, avoid hibernating and SPOILERS!


The Movie

“The Country Bears” tells the story of Beary (voiced by Haley Joel Osment), a talking bear being raised by a human family. And before we continue, no, this isn’t a cartoon. Beary loves the musical group “The Country Bears.” So much so that his teacher writes on one assignment “Must everything be about the Country Bears?" After a fight with his human brother Dexter (Eli Marienthal), Beary decides to run away to Country Bear Hall. There, he meets Henry (voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson), who used to be the Country Bears’ manager, and Big Al (voiced by James Gammon), the caretaker. Beary learns that Country Bear Hall is about to be torn down because they’ve fallen behind on the bills.

So, Beary gets the idea to get the band back together and do a concert to raise money. Henry likes the idea, so they board the bus to find the members of The Country Bears. Hilarity and cameos ensue. Big Fred (voiced by Brad Garrett) is found working as a security guard and jamming with singer Krystal Harris. The trio enters a bar run by Queen Latifah to find Zeb (voiced by Stephen Root) trying to get some honey, but he has no money and a very large tab. So Beary negotiates with Latifah to a contest. Zeb and his fiddle versus Brian Seltzer and his orchestra. After Zeb wins, they find Tennessee (Toby Huss) working as a couples therapist and convince him to come along.  But the only way he’ll do that is if he is reunited with his ex-girlfriend, Trixie ( voiced by Candy Ford). The last piece of the puzzle is lead singer Ted (voiced by Diedrich Bader), who wants nothing to do with the bears. He convinces them that he is well-off and living with Elton John. Or something.

Disheartened, Beary returns to his parents, who had been frantically looking for him. In fact, he and the Bears had been followed by two inept police officers played by Daryl Mitchell and Bader. The Bears learn that Ted was lying to them—he was really a wedding singer and Elton John’s gardener. They return to Beary and decide to have the concert after all. But they first must escape from Reed Thimble (Christopher Walken. No really. Christopher Walken), the banker who is trying to foreclose on Country Bear Hall. He was once a champion in some talent show until the Country Bears ended his reign.

In the end, there’s a happy ending. Except for Christopher Walken.

The Ride

In the ride, you are herded into the theater where you see the giant animatronic heads of Melvin the Moose, Max the Deer and Buff the Buffalo. They call out for Henry, the MC of the Country Bear Jamboree. He introduces the acts, such as the Five Bear Rugs and Trixie. Henry performs with Wendell as well, singing and playing the guitar. There are also performances by Liver Lips McGrowl, Teddi Beara, the singing sisters Bunny, Bubbles and Beulah and Big Al. It has a very country feel about it and works best if you clap along. It’s great for children as it’s upbeat and entertaining and the bears’ designs prevent them from being too scary.

I feel my parents’ presence causing me to say that I was scared of the bears as a baby. Of course, that was for a character breakfast at Pioneer Hall at Fort Wilderness Resort.

References

The most obvious references are, of course, to Henry, Trixie and Big Al. While showing Beary around Country Bear Hall, Henry mentions some of the old acts—including Liver Lips McGrowl. As for the Country Bears, they are the Five Bear Rugs…minus Zeke. Zeke, the main singer in the ride, gets replaced by Ted and is relegated to getting a shout out with the band’s tour bus being named after him.

Analysis

This movie is pure camp. It’s a musical romp hiding a coming-of-age story, both for Beary and his brother Dexter. Beary starts as a naïve young boy who idolizes the Country Bears. As he goes on his adventure, he learns the true meaning of family and faces the heartbreak of fallen idols. He learns to see the Country Bears as people, well, anthropomorphic bears. Dexter grows to put aside his preteen angst over his brother’s bright-eyed optimistic take on life and idolization of the Country Bears. But with the disappearance of his brother, he realizes he loves the little guy, well, anthropomorphic bear.

The Country Bears is also about the triumph of the little guy and the rise back to the top even after hitting rock bottom. Each has fallen into mediocrity solo but help each other find their way back to greatness. They learn to rely on one another again and to reform their family ties. And they are victorious over the evil banker in the end.

The plot isn’t bad, just a bit overdone. It was incredibly formulaic and predictable, but enjoyable nonetheless. The acting was pretty good and revealed how good the Disney audio-animatronics are in the facial expressions they could do. The songs were bouncy and hummable, if not entirely memorable. Walken is creepy no matter what role he is in and just used the movie to enjoy and ham it up. Marienthal is excellent as the cynical, annoyed older brother. He is one of my favorite characters in the movie, the only one who seems to find it weird that there are anthropomorphic bears amongst them. Of course, he comes around through the power of family and music.

Final Conclusion

If you like your movies full of substance, skip this one. If you just want a movie to watch that doesn’t require thought and will just provide some fun, watch it. If you just want a campy movie or enjoy them, definitely watch this movie.

Is it better than the ride? Hard to say. I would’ve liked to see them incorporate a few more aspects of the ride into the movie. Perhaps shown a few more bears, perhaps in a cute sequence where they try to find a replacement act for the Country Bears. Either way, it’s still a step up from the Haunted Mansion.

Quote of the Movie

“You know what Beary told me? Mr. Chicken is a girl!” –Roadie, the Bears’ roadie.