Last week on Top Model: The girls had their naked shoot. Raina, Jessica and Angelea excelled while Gabrielle and Alasia fell flat (though new judge Andre lurved Alasia). Gabrielle got the first boot. At the house, Alasia got on Ren’s nerves and Ren admitted she wasn’t happy in the house. The girls had a runway teach with Ms. J before walking in a runway challenge for Rachel Roy. Complete with pendulums. Which knocked “competitive” Alexandra clean off the catwalk. At the beauty shot shoot, Raina and Anslee rose to the top while Ren and Naduah fell. In the end, Naduah was sent packing while viewers can stop trying to guess exactly what type of accent she has. Eleven girls remain, who will be eliminated as Top Model returns to it’s hour-long format?
Wanna be on top?
NEW YORK! The girls return home to admire Raina’s picture. Brenda remembers that her picture didn’t go well. She misses her daughter and her hair. It’s HAIR, people. Ren thought she was going to be eliminated. Oh, Ren’s sad story: Her mother prefers her brother to her. She only started to talk to Ren again because Mom wanted Ren to be a model. She says she enjoys modeling but not the drama in the house. Ren seriously never saw this show before, did she?
TYRA MAIL! “Your fashion knowledge can really take you places—or maybe not.” Anslee says she enjoys the odd hours while Simone has no qualms about being on the show.
The show rips off Cash Cab as the girls board the “Fab Bus,” hosted by Cycle 3 contestant Toccara. Alexandra loves to see another plus-size contestant. Raina gets to be her assistant. Blue team: Krista, Simone, Angelea, Alexandra, and Jessica. Red: Anslee, Tatianna, Brenda, Ren and Alasia. Anslee is not so thrilled. Winners will go on go-sees at the headquarters of bluefly.com. They will also win a spread and gift cards. Raina gets to go as well. The Red team kicks the Blue team butt. But they pull from behind. It’s now a tie: 3-3. It is now a point game. Brenda freezes and the Blue Team wins. Anslee is ready to kill Brenda.
NEW YORK! The Blue Team (plus Raina) goes to BlueFly.com They meet the CEO and Creative Director for their go-sees. Raina goes first and they talk about legs. Constantly. Even through Jessica. Meanwhile, the Red Team goes to help the copy writers with inventory. Teach those bitches to lose. This raises Anslee’s ire even more. We go back to Angelea’s go-see. She impresses the two until she poses. They love Alexandra, especially as editorial. Back in “The Cage,” Ren is debating (still) remaining in the competition. We cut back to Simone, who is playing up her education. Oh Lord, I hope she doesn’t get the “smart girl” edit. At least the execs loved her. They also love Krista. Time to name a winner! Simone wins! Yay for the smart girls!
At the house, Brenda declares that her entire room is going to bed in a half hour. Krista calls her Gepetto, a puppet-master. Krista, Angelea, Alexandra and Raina talk about Brenda. Someone compares her to Miranda from Sex and the City. Someone else calls her Chucky, which is what Ren tells Brenda. She thinks it’s a diss to her hair and says that Alexandra should say “Bleep” to Tyra since Tyra choose the hair. They also compared you to Cynthia Nixon! And they didn’t call you ugly. They just compared you to Chucky as well. Anslee doesn’t think they called her “ugly.” Brenda says Anslee wasn’t in the room. Neither was Brenda. She was out in the hall. Ren told her they were talking about her. Anslee and Brenda start fighting, with Anslee telling Brenda to grow a tougher shell.
THE HOUSE! Anslee apologizes if she woke anyone up with the fight while Ren continues to want to leave.
TYRA MAIL! “Top Models always need to be in step.” Dancing?
The girls go to meet Mr. Jay. He asks for their inspiration. We hear: daughter, mom, etc. Mr. Jay’s like, “Not what I wanted.” Anyway, they are modeling different dance types. Dance, monkeys, dance! Mr. Jay brings in Troy, who was a dancer with the Alvin Ailey company, to help them. The girls hit make up and wardrobe.
Anslee: Rhythmic dancing. Mr. Jay wants shapes and her in the air. He says she missed the model boat.
Jessica: Salsa. He tells her to slow down and go slow.
Angelea: Moshing. MOSH PIT! Mr. Jay asks if it’s always about anger. She says it’s more pain. He softens her up.
Tatianna: Tap. Her energy drops in the shoot.
Ren: Disco. Burn, baby, burn. Disco Inferno. She gives “blah.” He thinks the judges will soon tire of her.
Alexandra: Break dancing. She channels Run DMC and works it.
Raina: Jazz. I really love her.
Brenda: African. She asks if she looks old. He tells her not to focus on that. Then he makes her jump on trampolines. Anslee gleefully watches her fail.
Krista: Ballet. She gets a trampoline and a respect for ballerinas.
Simone: Hip-Hop. Oh lord, she’s not just the smart girl but the pageant girl as well. Oh, Simone. So doomed. The photographer reminds her to have energy. He directs her to have fun, not being pose-y.
Alasia: Interpretive dance. The other girls predict it’ll be bad. Mr. Jay loves it. She uses emotions. Girl actually can model!
That’s a wrap!
Skull and Crossbones. Someone’s going to have to walk the plank. Ooh, wouldn’t that be fun? Making the eliminate girl walk the plank.
More harping on how Ren doesn’t want to be in the house. Brenda confesses she would be pissed to go home before Ren.
Hi, Bianca and Laura. Laura thinks Ren should be more appreciative and Bianca’s all for throwing her out.
PANEL! Good lord, what is Tyra wearing? Anyway, we have judges: Nigel and Andre. This week’s guest is Sean Patterson, from Wilhelmina Models. There are prizes. Jessica is up first. Nigel tells her to feel the emotion while Tyra wanted Jessica to be more fashion. Sean’s ready to combust from sitting by Andre. The panel loves the jazzy Raina. Andre doesn’t like Anslee. Sean likes her face. Andre loves Simone’s feet, how awkward they were. Tyra thought she was too safe. Tatianna rocks the top half but not the bottom half. This was the only good photo in the bunch. Andre uses his new word “Dreckitude” to describe Brenda’s outfit. Sean says, “Saturday Night Live skit.” I love you, Sean. Anslee laughs as Brenda is ripped a new one. Andre makes Alasia take her jacket off and is surprised by her outfit. And not in a good way. But they love her picture. They love Alexandra but she lost her neck. Andre declares Angelea’s shot “fashion.” Sean is impressed that she tapped into emotions. Nigel loves Krista’s picture. Oh dear, Ren, that’s not Disco. That’s “Oh no, the building is on fire!” Tyra asks why she only did four poses and Ren said she only learned them. Tyra asks why she doesn’t want to be there. Ren said there is too much drama in the house. Sean says that if she can’t separate that, it makes him question if she’ll be able to keep her personal separate from her professional.
Tyra asks Ren is she wants to stay as we go to commercial.
We come back to that question. Ren decides that she wants to stay. Aww, no dramatic walk-off. Anyway, the girls are dismissed as the panel heads into DELIBERATION! Jessica and Anslee are so-so. Nigel thinks Simone is confused. Tyra loves Tatianna but her other photos are “dreckitude.” Tyra thinks Brenda needs more edge. Raina is called high-fashion.
ELIMINATION! Best photo goes to: Alasia. Now, lose the shirt. She is followed by: Angelea, Jessica, Alexandra, Krista, Raina (why is she so low?), Tatianna, Simone, and Anslee. Ren and Brenda are in the bottom two. Ren: She was hand-picked to be on the show. She has all the goods, but not all the wants. And she agrees she doesn’t have all the wants. She admits she’s doing this for her mother. Tyra thanks Ren for her honesty. She then reveals that Brenda was going to be the one staying anyway. She tells Brenda that another transformation is waiting for her. Tyra hugs Ren and tells her to work things out with her mom. Ren hugs nobody, which you know Tyra noted. Ren says she liked the shoots but realized this wasn’t her cup of tea.
America’s Next Top Model:
Alasia
Alexandra
Angelea
Anslee
Brenda
Gabrielle
Jessica
Krista
Naduah
Raina
Ren
Simone
Tatianna
So, we are spared more weeks of Ren’s “I don’t want to be here” whining. Now, bring on the Brenda-Anslee bitchfest! You know it’s coming. And I really love Raina and Jessica. Speaking of Jessica, she strikes me as another celebrity doppelganger, but I can’t figure out who. Help?
Also: Props to anyone who knows what this post’s title refers to!
Next week: Cover Girl challenge in Times Square as well as a vampire themed shoot. With a male model!
Quote of the Episode:
“Your picture is good as much as your outfit is bad.”—Sean Patterson to Alasia.
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