Blood Suckers

Last week: Top Model ripped off Cash Cab, with Toccarra hosting a fashion-inspired quiz show. The winners got their own go-see, with Simone winning. The losers took inventory. After a dance inspired shoot, Ren landed in the bottom two with Brenda. Ren asked to leave and Tyra obliged. Who will be eliminated tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

Brenda complains about her dance and wonders about what new look Tyra is going to get her. She misses her long hair. Brenda is Jaeda 2.0! Sans the tears.

Tyra Mail! “When things don’t go your way, sometimes you need to improvise.” Someone suggests comedy club. I suggest stranding them in the Bronx and seeing if they can come home. Anslee reminds us she’s a mom, Simone reminds us she’s smart.

The girls go meet Ms. J, introducing the Upright Citizens Brigade, an improv group. The gang watches the show and Brenda gets pulled on to the stage. She fails at shock. Alasia gets delighted scuba-driving. Simone gets to ride a horse depressed. She’s outside her comfort zone. Anslee washes a Ferrari and is paranoid. She was too long. And no one laughed.

Everyone goes home to see Alasia’s best picture. Anslee doesn’t think she should be here and we see a flashback to her flipping out on Ren a few weeks ago.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow you are really going to blow up.” Exploding models? YES PLEASE!

Sally Hershberger comes by to fix Brenda’s hair. She mentions shaving it. Brenda, that’s shock!

Sally pulls out the razor and Brenda looks like she’s ready to pass out. Sally calls it 80’s punk. Brenda doesn’t like it. Surprise, surprise.

The girls go to Times Square. Dania Ramirez talks to them on a large screen. They even subtitle her. Come on. Dania walks down the TKTS steps to give them their challenge. She blathers on about modeling in between the lines. Is it a commercial challenge already? Yes, it is. Oh, there will be a voice over but they have to stay true to themselves but appeal to the CoverGirl crowd. Dania reminds them that the winner gets a CoverGirl commercial and she will be seen by thousands of people—who shop in WalMart. But tonight, they will be seen by the thousands of tourists in Times Square. And all they really want to see is The Lion King.

Simone reminds us that she’s smart and modeling is hard. The crowd seems to like Tatianna’s commercial. Brenda finds it harder without her hair. Jessica seems to mess up but gives that “oops” smile. Dania tells them not to hold back. Anslee blames her poor performance on not being able to hear Dania. The winner is Tatianna. Dania felt like she knew her. She gets a CoverGirl shoot in Seventeen Magazine. Congrats, Tatianna.

At home, Anslee talks down to Alasia about how she was dealing with her food—whether or not to refrigerate it. Alasia cannot stand to be talked to as such but then hits below the belt. She asks Anslee how she is raising her daughter. Anslee erupts. Krista, of all people, plays peacemaker. As Alasia leaves, Anslee confesses that she will not take any shots at her mothering and that Alasia is barely a woman herself.

In the Top Model lounge, Bianca and Laura drool over the Times Square challenge.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow, beware of the No-Neck Monster.” Is this going to be like Super Smize? Jessica thinks it’s going to be snakes.

The girls go to a room where a bloodied guy is lying in a bathtub. The girls wonder if they are mistakenly at a crime scene when Mr. Jay appears behind them in his Matrix Halloween costume. He takes off his glasses and what the fuck is up with his make-up? Anyway, he tells them that they will be Vampires, CJ (the hapless guy in the tub) will be their victim. And they will be wearing contact lens that will make them blind. Krista is confused. Neo-Jay sends the girls back to hair and make-up.

A now cleaned-up, normalish looking Jay shows them the tub of blood they will be working in.

Angelea: Plays it like she and CJ were lovers.

Alasia: Mr. Jay calls her sensual. He was impressed.

Alexandra: Looks like it could be the cover of a Harlequin novel. Mr. Jay loves her.

Krista: Is told to use her dance skills.

Jessica: Starts off too sweet but switches to hot.

Brenda, meanwhile, can’t get the contact lens in. Anslee has to help her. She starts to have a panic attack. Anslee calls her a baby. Mr. Jay comes in to give her a pep talk. But the male model calms her down.

Brenda: Goes for the lover angle as well. Mr. Jay is impressed.

Tatianna: Has no problem with the blood. The photographer and Jay love her but are a little squeamish.

Raina: Once again, rocks it. Seriously, Raina is way too talented for this competition.

Anslee: Is the one who is called “Romance Cover.” But he starts to like her shots.

Simone: The photographer is bored. Tells her to make it stronger. Mr. Jay tells her to take it extreme. Once the photographer tells her to just feel it, she starts to excel.

Brenda asks if anyone else freaked out about the contact lens. They are interrupted by the Skull and Crossbones. Seriously. I want one model to walk the plank at least once. Please, show?

Shut up, Anslee.

You too, Brenda.

I wonder if my cold is making me less tolerable of these two.

NEW YORK! The girls enter panel…Tyra, what are you wearing NOW? Anyway, there are prizes, there are judges. Nigel, Alasia’s Number 1 Fan and our guest judge is Dania Ramirez from the challenge. Challenge winner Tatianna is up first. Praise all around. Jessica follows. They tell her “less is more,” outfit wise. Tyra loves Jessica’s photo, Nigel and Andre not so much. Alasia is next. Nigel says that she is telling a story with her eyes. Andre loves her legs. Dania says she’s sexy. They wonder about black girls and tubs, Tyra making fun of it. The panel isn’t thrilled with Simone. Tyra tells her to push it. Both Nigel and Tyra wished Angelea threw her head back more—show more neck. Krista follows. Nigel says she looks like she’s levitating, Tyra says the face is wrong. The judges love Raina’s shot. They say she shows a fighter and Raina says she was angry at being bit. The judges say that got it.

Alexandra is next and Andre says he feels “Vampire Romance.” Dania likes her shot. Tyra and Nigel think she has a signature pose but she needs to vary. Everyone loves Brenda’s new hairstyle and she pretends she likes it too. Andre likes the top part of the shot, not the bottom. Anslee is last. Dania says she sees more personality than during the challenge. Anslee says that’s cause she couldn’t hear Dania. The music screeches to a stop. The photo fails to wow as well and Anslee blames her direction. Nigel isn’t pleased.

The judges begin deliberation. They love Tatianna. Andre thinks Jessica is boring, Tyra likes her. Dania doesn’t like Brenda’s picture. Andre only likes her hands. Tyra calls her Soccer Mom with a Cool Hair Cut. Nigel doesn’t like Anslee’s excuses. Tyra likes the male model. They love Raina. I do too. They aren’t pleased with Simone. Tyra thinks she might have to be broken to be made into a model.

ELIMINATION! The girl called first, with the best picture that the girls get to stare at for the next few days is: Alasia. Anslee looks ready to kill someone. Alasia is joined by Raina, Tatianna, Brenda, Alexandra, Angelea, Jessica, and Krista. Anslee and Simone are in the bottom two. Anslee: Amazing bone structure, but last photoshoots were poor. And the judges don’t like excuses. Simone: Strong potential. But she’s not pushing. She’s stuck inside. So who stays? Anslee. Sorry, Simone, but you got pegged as the “Smart Girl.” The Smart Girl never wins! Anslee gets her pictures and places the blame on herself. Tyra tells Simone to study and test.

Simone says she will follow Tyra’s advice. Of course she will.

America’s Next Top Model:

Alasia

Alexandra

Angelea

Anslee

Brenda

Gabrielle

Jessica

Krista

Naduah

Raina

Ren

Simone

Tatianna

Next week: Jessica loves Nigel. Anslee is fighting between modeling and motherhood.

Not much more I can say. I’m just over Anslee. And Raina better win.

Moment of the Episode:

Jessica’s “oops” moment at the end of her CoverGirl commercial.