MEN!

Last week: Marjorie got lost in Amsterdam and nearly had a nervous breakdown! Tyra took the photos! Elina was sent home! Four girls remain—HOLY CRAP NEXT WEEK’S THE FINAL!

Sorry…So who will come so close yet fall so far? Find out!

Samantha celebrates her picture and plots her way to being America’s Next Top Model (not in MY book, Sammy). Analeigh and Marjorie talk about being in the bottom two and we see what Tyra told my favorite Frenchwoman to lose the nerves. Marjorie confesses she has to.

TYRA POST! “A model who knows how to sell makes the most cents.”

Marjorie and Analeigh talk as sad music plays. Marjorie confesses that her nerves give her the edge and this sad music is making me start to prepare myself for Marjorie’s departure. The models meet Paulina who teaches them how to sell junk. They practice on fish—at least it isn’t me. I get sick when I smell fish. Marjorie works the fish but falls on “romantic” on the phone. McKey gets praise for being focused on poses, Marjorie is good at emotions, Analeigh is a good actress and Sam is good at being funny.

TYRA POST! “Your delivery better be on the Mark.” They think commercial—that’s NEXT week, girls. I’m thinking Mark is the male model promised last week. McKey and Sam talk about making it to the top three. But this is a pretty strong top four—no matter how much I hate Sam.

Amsterdam! Marjorie talks about being positive. She’s absolutely funny in confessional. They go to Amsterdam Worldwide where Paulina meets them. Richard Gorodecky is the creative director of this top ad agency. Looks like they are doing a commercial—with that male model! The girls will not be talking, just smooching Mark Vanderloo—a major male supermodel. Sam is rendered speechless and gibbers in her confessional. It’s a challenge and the girls will be given a shopping spree at a major denim place. A challenge win you can USE in daily life. (Seriously, who is going to go around in $20,000 worth of jewels?)

Sam is first up on the treadmill. She flirts with Mark from the treadmill—I like the “Oh my god!” I can see Sam as an actress. Mark gives her thumbs up. Analeigh acts all coy before running off to kiss Mark. “He’s a good kisser,” Analeigh tells the others and Sam agrees. McKey gives him a little wave from the treadmill before kissing him. “Nice to meet you,” McKey says before running out of the room, adding some humor. Marjorie looks like she’s debating whether to kiss him or not and then goes in for the kiss. Marjorie thanks the bottom two for a kick. Everyone notices the change in Marjorie.

Sam: Adorable, but little over the edge. Calculating and hammy. Analeigh: Cute and sweet, good performance. McKey: Flirtation, good. Kissing, not good. Marjorie: Awkward and scary, but original and believable. The winner is: Marjorie! YAY! She gets a friend and chooses Analeigh—SHOCKER! I saw a cute photo collage of the two. They are still friends. The girls go and Marjorie split the prize evenly. They have fun on their shopping spree.

Windmills! TYRA POST! “Tomorrow you will be going Dutch but you will still have to give 100%” They wonder about the phrase “going Dutch”—you know, where you all split the bill?

Anyway, Marjorie invites the boat drivers over. Thank God they noticed how HOT those guys were. I’d love to just ogle Analeigh’s driver over and over. They bring wine which only the guys and Marjorie drink. Marjorie is apparently a happy drunk. They play charades before Analeigh, Marjorie and a boy play drunken dress-up. McKey and someone else wrestle while Sam entertains another with cards and magic tricks (learned from the Misfit of Magic himself?). Then they play truth and dare. Marjorie makes out with a driver.

Whitney’s a Cover Girl! And treats a surprisingly empty New York as her own personal catwalk! Do your little turn on the catwalk!

The other girls are concerned for a drunk Marjorie, now in a hot tub with a much drunker guy. Even the other guys agree with the girls who try to kick him out. After McKey threatens him, he leaves. Analeigh puts Marjorie to bed, who was grateful everyone else was sober.

The girls go to meet Jay in front of a windmill, which will be their backdrop. He introduces their photographer Barrie who greets the girls—what are they doing with Analeigh’s hair? Mr. Jay is impressed with Analeigh even before she starts jumping. Marjorie freezes up and I wonder how hung over she is. Even Mr. Jay notices it and then gives her a pep talk for panel. Samantha goofs off and says she hates being serious. She goes out in her clogs. Mr. Jay tells her to mind her legs, Barrie tells her to watch her face. They realize the clogs are hurting her, which is showing in her face. Mr. Jay is worried. He gives her a pep talk. “Dude, I sucked, really bad,” Samantha confesses. She goes and cries while Sutan tries to cheer her up. I wish I had Sutan to cheer me up. He looks like he’s really good at it. McKey goes out and knows she has to work it. And she does. She does some climbing. Mr. Jay loves her as much as Analeigh. That’s a wrap!

Amsterdam! Sam is still feeling down—and they all used to jump on Marjorie for this? Well, Marjorie usually rocked and Sam fell flat, but still. And Marjorie goes for the wine. She says she has to look relaxed—going drunk isn’t going to help you, honey!

Did I miss the “Tomorrow you will meet with the judges…”? Cause we’re in PANEL! There are prizes, there are judges, Ms. J’s bling, and the guest judge is Ann Shoket (Editor-in-Chief of Seventeen magazine). Tyra blathers on about avant-garde and windmills. McKey is called first. She looks more “unfrozen cavewoman” than “avant-garde.” She does have long legs. Marjorie is next and applauded for winning the challenge. The picture is just standing down or as someone said: an UFO beamed her down. Tyra says she feels Marjorie is pulling inside to fight the nerves. Sam still can’t dress for panel, but now all she has to do is take off a sweater. She gets praised for her lips but Tyra notes her film was bad. Then quotes Mr. Jay. Sam tries not to cry. Analeigh finishes it up. And it’s the jumping one. The judges love it. Ann loves Analeigh.

Top Models in Action! Nigel tells us about Kim from Cycle 5. She’s with Elite magazines and works for MTV news. And is blonde.

The judges deliberate. With the top three in question, it’s time to take off the gloves. Analeigh seems to be loved. Tyra is worried about Sam—this week’s photo, her appearance at panel. Marjorie is editorial. The judges realize that the nerves=Marjorie charms. The judges love McKey’s legs and eyes. What is Tyra doing? Even Ann is wondering that, you can tell.

ELIMINATION! The first name and the person safe: Analeigh (YAY!). Followed by: McKey. Marjorie and Sam end up in the bottom two. This is hard. Both take great pictures, but Sam has the personality. Marjorie has the editorial ability, Sam is the more commercial. Marjorie looks like a model, Sam doesn’t. Who goes? Did Ann and Paulina coordinate before going into judging? Oh, sorry. So, who goes? Marjorie. Aww man.

Tyra tells Marjorie to find a way to calm the nerves without losing what makes Marjorie Marjorie. She and Analeigh cry as they hug. And Marjorie has a gorgeous portfolio—we’re going to see her on Top Models in Action in Cycle 13 or 14.

I’m not just mad that Marjorie is going home but…last week while checking some names on Wikipedia, some idiot posted the final eliminations and winner. Marjorie was posted as eliminated tonight. And now that I was accidentally spoiled. And I HATE spoilers. So now, I don’t want the girl the idiot said wins just because I don’t want the idiot to be correct.

Next week: TOP THREE! Cover Girl commercials, runways and a winner!

Who do you want to win? Samantha? McKey? Analeigh? Who did you call the winner back in the early episodes that are no longer there? Or did you figure on of these three would win? Do you hate spoilers as much as me?