Any Joseph Will Do

Last week on “Any Dream Will Do”: Andrew Lloyd Webber decided to use a reality show to cast his musical “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” He and the casting directors saw many, many contestants but only 100 went to London. The panel heard them all sing and put 50 through to Joseph School, but three pleaded with the Lord himself. So, there were 52. Fifty quickly became 26 and 26 became 20. From this 20, twelve finalists were chosen. Let the (not-so) live shows begin!

And they do with Graham Norton entering the arena flanked by a Joseph color guard. He introduces the final 12, who sing “Any Dream Will Do” to open the show. Each gets his own colored coat—gotta feel bad for the guys in pink. These guys can harmonize, I’ll give them that. I couldn’t tell, but it sounded like someone went into falsetto during the “Give me my colored coat” bit.

Graham introduces the judges: John Barrowman, Zoe Tyler, Bill Kenwright, and Denise van Outen. Finally, they introduce Andrew Lloyd Webber with the Phantom overture. Get used to it. Graham tells Joseph’s story in one breath. Have I told you how much I love Graham Norton? Anyway, we meet Lee and Rob. Rob is a builder but wants to make his debut. Zoe says he’s the most raw. Lee says he likes being an understudy but wants to be a leading man. He’s given up the most—he had to leave Phantom, so there will be no job if he does get eliminated. The final twelve will sing songs they feel show they should be Joseph. And if we were in England in 2007, we could sing along. But we can’t.

Rob sings “Summer of ‘69”. I love this song, ever since Max rocked it on “Grease: You’re the One that I Want.” I forgot how good Rob the Builder was, even for such a raw talent. Lee follows up with “Mack the Knife.” Excuse me, but I adore Lee’s voice as well as think he’s cute, so I’m going to be drooling for a bit. Though I do think he needs some choreography help…

Coming up: The judges deliver their opinions.

Graham talks to Rob and Lee after the performances. They are both so grateful to be there, you know. They go to the panel. John is impressed with both. He says Lee’s performance was a leading man performance. She praises Rob for looking like he was having fun, so the audience had fun. She says Lee gave Robbie Williams a run for his money. Bill has employed Lee twice, but saw the star quality tonight. As for Rob the Builder, Bill calls him the epitome of what the show is about. Lastly, Zoe calls Rob fantastic. As for Lee, she calls his performance “sophisticated.” Graham turns to Andrew, who notes the comparisons. Professionalism vs Raw Talent.

Coming up: A new embarrassing dad story for the boys down at the pub!

Graham introduces two schoolmates: Lewis and Ben. Ben’s up first, only there because John fought for him. He wants to show that he’s as good as the other 11. Lewis is Denise’s wish for David Beckham with a voice. He called his Nanna when he got in because she got him into singing. Aww. Lewis sings George Michael’s “Faith.” Someone on YouTube posted a link to download the songs during these shows and Lewis is the one with the most songs on my iPod. He also gets back up dancers. Ben sings “Johnny B. Goode,” dedicated to his girlfriend Maude. The girls make a return for Ben’s song. He’s singing a bit too fast for me to catch the words, but the audience is really rocking out to it.

Graham waves to Nanna Jean. And it’s Ben’s dad in a multicolor coat. Denise isn’t too thrilled with Lewis’ performance and gets booed. She tells him to treat each performance as opening night. Zoe says they have been singing all week long. She does love Lewis though. John agrees Lewis needs to push it, like Ben. Webber mentions that Lewis is a trained dancer and was almost in Billy Elliot. Bill praises Lewis.

Coming up: John isn’t impressed.

We return to be introduced to Craig and Johndeep. Craig is a Cabaret singer and wants to graduate from the pub to the West End. Johndeep is from a traditional South Asian family who have never heard him perform. This will show them his true self. Craig sings “Try a Little Tenderness.” I’d love to see him at a pub show…Webber doesn’t look thrilled at the end of his song though. Johndeep follows with “If There’s Any Justice,” complete with old fashioned microphone. I like his voice, I rooted for him back in 2007. Johndeep’s family are crying. Craig’s parents have shirts that read “Vote Craig.”

To the panel: John isn’t impressed with their performances. He calls Craig “nice” and Johndeep “bland.” Denise disagrees, saying Craig is sick and Johndeep was brilliant. John says they can’t be sick all the time and says Johndeep is in pain. Denise says it’s a twinkle. Zoe is pleased with both of them and tells John to get back into his Tardis. Heh. Webber praises Johndeep but feels Craig needs to bring it up a notch, but feels he can do it.

Coming up: Joseph smack talk.

Seamus and Anthony are up next. Seamus believes he has a God-given gift and wants to be a leading man. He’s training to be a singing teacher and tries to help the others. Zoe isn’t to thrilled. We go from the oldest Joseph wannabe to one of the youngest. Anthony says it’s a bit weird to be away from home but thrilled with the opportunity. Seamus sings “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” Ahh, U2. My youth group used to sing their songs. Seamus does have a pretty good voice. I smell a Melrose—good talent and not realizing his “helpful” hints alienate the others. Anthony sings “I Don’t Wanna Miss This” to his girlfriend, Natalie. And I think I find the falsetto voice from the beginning…wow. However, I am not impressed with Anthony.

Graham calls the two over. Seamus jokes he’s old enough to be Anthony’s father. Anthony calls himself “young, fresh-faced and wrinkle free.” Seamus jokes he’s still Joseph because he’s still too young to be Jacob. John praises both but warns Seamus to be a team player. Denise would like to act opposite Seamus and she just loves Anthony. Zoe says the Josephs are better to work with than the Marias. Bill praises Seamus for commanding the stage. Webber doesn’t worry about the boys, but the competition. It’s going to be very close and asks the viewers to be careful.

Coming up: Too skinny for Joseph?

We next meet up with Daniel and Chris C. Daniel says he wants to be a singer but is a shy man doing data entry. He hopes to wow his coworkers. Chris C says he was at a low point, went to Church and a lady told him to be Joseph. Chris C starts with “This Love.” Not too bad, but I don’t think his voice would survive eight shows a week. Daniel sings “You Give Me Something.” I feel he’s the stronger of the two and I’m sure his coworkers are surprised.

Graham asks Chris about being “packed off” to theater school but Chris says he wanted to go. He then asks Daniel if he could give up data entry. Daniel says he could. Denise feels Daniel could go all the way. She’s concerned that Chris C in a loincloth would look skinny. Zoe and Bill praise Daniel and Chris’ vocals. Webber wants them to connect with the material.

Coming up: Your local grocery bagboy may be a star!

The last Josephs come up: Keith and Chris B. Chris is from a family of ballroom dancers but he is a singer. Keith works corralling shopping carts but is now in the final 12. His manager asks the customers to vote for Keith as his co-worker girlfriend roots for him. Chris sings “Walking in Memphis.” He does the song justice. Keith rocks out “Crazy Thing Called Love.” John loves both but tells them to work on dancing. Denise thinks it’s in them. Zoe loves them both. Webber thinks they have pop quality but focuses on the girls. He dubs them the Josephines. He returns to the boys, telling Chris to open his eyes more.

Coming up: Elimination?

We skip to elimination. Graham announces the results. Keith: Safe. Rob and Daniel: Safe. Seamus and Johndeep: Safe. Chris B and Anthony: Also safe. Graham invites the remaining five to come off the steps. Two are in danger, three are safe. Lewis: Safe. Nanna Jean is proud. Chris C: Is in the bottom two. Lee: Safe. Craig: Safe. Ben joins Chris C in the sing-off. Graham reveals that the person with the lowest votes was Chris C. But Webber could save him. The two sing “Bridge Over Trouble Water.” Webber listens carefully as the two switch off singing the songs. Ben sounds stronger to me, but that might just be because he’s louder than Chris C. Ben does hold a note longer. They get standing ovations, even from the judges.

It is now Webber’s decision. Who will he save? Webber doesn’t give a long explanation and announces he has saved Ben. Chris C is eliminated. Ben gets a group hug as Webber explains he felt Ben was stronger than Chris C. Our eliminated Joseph joins the others for his farewell. They sing “Poor, Poor Joseph” before Chris sings “Close Every Door.” Ben cries as they comfort Chris. Johndeep and Chris B take off Chris C’s coat as he heads to the top of the stairs for the last words.

Still Could Be Joseph:

Rob

Lee

Chris B

Daniel

Craig

Keith

Seamus

Anthony

Lewis

Johndeep

Ben

Chris C

Next week: It’s the second (not-so) live show!

Quote of the Episode:

“Yes, I’ve imagined you in a loincloth. And my one concern is that you might look like baby Joseph in a nappy.”—Denise.

Do you think Chris C went home early? Pleased with England and Webber’s decision? Have any favorites yet?

And thanks to Chrissi for commenting last week!