Go-Sees: Now Filled With More Angst Than the Make Overs

Last week: Amsterdam! Red-light district! No one fell overboard! Sheena was eliminated!

We’re down to the final five! Who will be sent packing and who will be in the final four? I hope its Marjorie, Elina, McKey and Analeigh.

I wanna be on TOP!

It’s Amsterdam! The top five party and Analeigh celebrates that she’s improving. She thinks the other girls don’t think she’s competition. Hey, girls, SHE’S COMPETITION! Meanwhile, Elina wonders why the judges she is stiff while Marjorie confesses that Elina is stuck. Sam celebrates she’s still here. I mourn it. Marjorie is still Debbie Downer and can’t understand why everyone is so happy. She’s apparently the house pessimist.

TYRA MAIL! You have to be more than good looking if you want the first booking. The girls realize it is time for GO-SEES! This is always so much fun. Go-sees rank just below makeovers on my favorite episodes. The girls go to Touché Models and are given boats to get around Amsterdam. They have till 5 PM—Be there or be square. And we don’t want a repeat of Brittany from Cycle 8.

Let’s watch models ride boats…Hello, Analeigh’s driver is HOT. Marjorie is nervous. Surprise, surprise. I love her dearly, but the girl needs to take a Prozac. Sam arrives and kisses the designer thrice ‘cause that’s the Dutch way. Sam looks good but doesn’t impress the designer. Next: McKey, who makes a good impression on the designer. She tells McKey to want to make everyone want the dress but is impressed. Marjorie is lost. And so is Sam, who makes fun of Amsterdam’s street names. Apparently, getting lost is the theme of this go-see. This is the reason I love go-sees. Marjorie tries to ask for help and no one can help her.

Analeigh finally gets somewhere and meets a designer who sounds like Nigel. Seriously. The Dutch Nigel likes Analeigh. Elina gets to a designer who is not happy she is sweating. He doesn’t like her. Marjorie is still having troubles and is close to a nervous breakdown.

Back to Amsterdam! Marjorie is still near her nervous breakdown. She knows she can be eliminated for failing at the go-sees. She finally gets to the designer Sam first saw. She’s so relieved she forgets everything. Elina is waiting outside as Marjorie admits she’s having a horrible time. Elina’s tattoos are a deal-breaker for the designer which Elina says she took personally because they are her form of self-expression. McKey continues to get praised. SHOW ANALEIGH! Thank you, show. She watches Elina model a poofy purple dress and actually gets praise. However Analeigh gets praise as well. Marjorie goes to the Nigel Sound-a-like, who doesn’t sound thrilled. She’s out on the street laughing and crying. She pounds her driver’s fist as she’s the first to return.

Analeigh gets back, Elina looks drunk getting out of her boat. Sam’s fourth but McKey is still out there. It looks like it might be another Natasha and Brittany. She runs in just a few minutes after five. And the girls celebrate. She is disqualified and was well-liked. In confession, she talks out the left side of her mouth. Sam is too commercial. Elina is good in runway, too many tattoos. Marjorie was nervous and gets tips. Analeigh maybe trying to hard but is liked. All the designers donated items for the winner—ANALEIGH! Her prizes will be at home. I hope they didn’t dump in on the lawn like in the past.

Oh no, it’s on the table. Her prize totals $18,000. Elina and McKey are upset.

Tyra Mail. “You’ve never been exposed like this before, but you’ll be amazed after.” Nude shot? Would Tyra do a nude shot? Everyone is concerned about Marjorie. Analeigh tells her she is top competition. Marjorie doesn’t understand this, worries it’s a hoax. Analeigh makes her promise not to bring the disappointment to the shoot.

Amsterdam. The girls load the bus. Sam hopes that if it’s nude, it’s couture. Jay does Christian’s make-up. It looks like he’s joining the circus. Tyra tells the girl they will do a natural shot and then a glam shot. Marjorie is nervous to be shot by Tyra. She still does black and white. The natural shot includes the clothes they wore to the studio. Sam’s first. Tyra looks for the shots an agency would take. She also gets “Oliver Twist.” Tyra thinks Sam works better with clothing and makeup than natural. Mr. Jay and Tyra make fun of Ms. J. Tyra and Mr. Jay talk about the nerves. Christian gives Marjorie a trim and gets glamed out.

Analeigh goes out, gets hair fixed. However, Tyra thinks Analeigh needs make up. I love Analeigh’s hair do. Tyra tells Elina she can’t have the nails she does. Also, Elina would be natural and relaxed until Tyra picked up the camera, going back to posey. Tyra tries to show what she wants from Elina, but Mr. Jay is worried about what she’s doing to his way-too-silver hair. McKey is next and Tyra makes them go Clockwork Orange on her make-up. Tyra calls a wrap.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow you will meet with the judges. Only four will continue on in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model.” Marjorie is excited—but she hopes she doesn’t get eliminated. Well, it’s a step in the right direction.

PANEL! There are prizes, judges, Ms. J’s bling, and the guest judge: Mr. Jay! I love it when he’s on the panel because he knows all the girls and their history. Sam is up first. Sam booked two jobs. Apparently, Tyra did a shoot similar to this for the New York Times Magazine. Nigel likes Sam’s natural shot, Ms. J loves Sam’s glam shot. Analeigh is next. She’s applauded for winning the challenge. She booked all her designers. Her glam shot is much better than her natural shot. Marjorie didn’t book either designers. Marjorie’s test shot is the chosen natural shot. It looks like someone’s Facebook picture. Her glam picture is world’s better and Tyra wants the woman in the shot to be in front of her. Ms. J has to fix the outfit and Tyra says she booked two jobs.

The judges are surprised to learn Elina is eighteen. They make her scream. It’s a horror-film scream. I sense a new career! McKey booked all her jobs but was late. Wa-wa. I like her red dress. Paulina praises McKey for how far she’s come. The girls are sent out for deliberation with some bad Tyra puns.

Top Models in Action. Mollie Sue! Oh wow, I forgot about rocker girl Mollie Sue. She is based in Paris (lucky bitch) and works the international scene. Wait, did I miss Whitney’s My Life as a Cover Girl?

Amster—Is Paulina wearing a disco ball? ELIMINATION! The first name called and the face everyone gets to stare at: Samantha. DAMMIT! Followed by: McKey and Analeigh. The bottom two: Marjorie and Elina. This is tough. Marjorie’s never been in the bottom two but the judges have been trying to get her to calm down all cycle. Meanwhile, Elina’s been there for a few weeks in a row while the judges feel she can’t let go. Marjorie looks resigned. Don’t give up hope! Because you’re staying! Just get some confidence. Good-bye, Elina. Go be crazy. She hugs everyone and leaves.

Elina is gorgeous. She’ll make it.

Next week: Male models! Alcohol! A repeat of Shandi from Cycle 2?

So, still pulling for Analeigh? Marjorie? McKey? Anyone else as surprised Sam’s still in the running?