OUAT: Thank Goodness

Last time: Regina defeated Zelena! Rumple then killed Zelena! Mary Margaret had a baby boy! We still don’t know his name! Emma wants to leave Storybrooke and go back to New York! Henry thinks they are staying! Rumple proposed! Belle accepted! And the time portal opened anyway!

We start with a shot of Mickey Mouse. As the camera zooms out, it’s revealed to be a gift to a little blonde girl by her parents. Her new parents, it turns out, as she’s just been adopted. As the car drives off, the other orphans wave goodbye to her. One older girl stays outside, watching the car and crying. A woman comes up and tells her that her time will come. The girl? Emma Swan, our very own Lost Girl.

(Don't worry, Emma. Some day, your family will come)

In the present, we open at Regina’s house! She and Robin are having a picnic date in front of her fire. There’s wine and strawberries and I think chocolate. It’s all so romantic! And the kisses are hot! Robin asks how she feels to have her heart back and Regina is overjoyed to have it. They continue to kiss before Regina tells Robin about how she met Tinker Bell. Including the man with the lion tattoo—AKA Robin himself. He’s thrilled to hear it. More kisses!

(It's the Tattoo of Destiny!)

Treasure these moments, fellow Outlaw Queen shippers!

Meanwhile, Emma and Henry are visiting Mary Margaret and David. Guess what? We still don’t know the kid’s name. But we’ll learn it soon. Mary Margaret explains about the tradition in the Enchanted Forest. It was pretty much what we saw in “The Miller’s Daughter”: have ball, show off kid, announce his/her name. But they are in Storybrooke, so they aren’t having a ball. Emma hopes her parents aren’t taking a cue from The Lion King and holding him aloft on top of the clock tower. No, they are having a potluck at Granny’s!

(Don't worry, little guy. We should know your name soon enough)

At Gold’s, Rumple hides the real dagger so Belle doesn’t realize she has a fake. But it might be good to tell her because she’s stressing out over possessing the dagger. He tells her not to worry about it and to just focus on their wedding. Belle says she visited her father and got his blessing for their marriage. Aww.

Everyone converges at Granny’s, where Mary Margaret and David recount how they met. Guess who’s there? Well, Ruby for starters! 

(Hi, Ruby!)

She adds to the story. Hopefully Megan Ory will be back more next season now that her show was cancelled. And hopefully, she won’t be relegated to babysitting Henry and Prince Come-On-Stop-It-And-Name-Him-Already all the time. Also there: Princess Aurora. Looks like she survived the Great Simian Attack of 2013 (it was confirmed this takes place in 2013) and is now a pregnant human again. Welcome back, Aurora! Also there, Kathryn! Remember her? David’s wife from Season 1? The Storybrooke counterpart of the daughter of King Midas who Prince Charming was going to marry before he met Snow? Yeah, she’s back too! Hi, Kathryn!

The entirety of Storybrooke is there, in time to learn that Emma doesn’t plan to stay. Henry and the Nolans are upset. Emma tries to explain but it comes out as insulting everyone there. She leaves and Hook follows. Just as everyone notices the giant beam of light coming from the old barn. They realize Zelena’s spell has been cast.

(Either that, or Wreck It, Ralph is the next Disney movie to get the OUAT treatment!) 

So a group of them rushes to the sheriff’s office. This includes Regina, Robin, Rumple and David. They find that Zelena is gone. So David turns to the station’s security system and Rumple curses himself for forgetting it. But he uses his magic to change the footage to show Zelena killing herself. Regina is shaken by her sister’s supposed suicide. They then see the green dust blow away and figure it managed to open the portal. David calls Emma to warn her.

But she’s too busy arguing with Hook and feeling guilty to answer. They discover the portal as well and Emma proves she’s her father’s daughter by going to investigate by herself. Well, she does have Hook with her but he can’t do much against a magical portal. Emma gets sucked in and Hook lets go, saying that one day he’ll stop chasing her.

(Here we go again)

Where do our two heroes land? In the Enchanted Forest, by a village. A carriage pulls up as they hide in the bushes. Guess who is inside? Regina in full Evil Queen mode. She threatens the villagers, demanding they turn over Snow White or else they pay the price. To prove her point, she pulls out a woman with a sack over her head. She says the woman was protecting Snow White and also looked like her. The bag is removed and the woman…looks nothing like Ginnifer Godwin. Okay, maybe if you squint.

(Astute fans and people who were spoilered know who the character is. However, since the show doesn’t reveal it until the end of the second hour, I’ll just call her Lady Sack).

Emma’s like “I forgot how evil Evil Queen Regina could be” while Hook says they have to put her into more area-appropriate clothing. They knick clothing hanging out to drive, so Emma looks like a serving wench at your local Medieval Times. They walk down a road when they encounter another carriage. Who is in this one? Prince Charming and Princess Abigail, on their way to the ball celebrating their betrothal. Fans will recall this is the moment where Prince Charming and Snow White met. Emma spies her mother in a tree as she prepares to rob the carriage. But Emma startles her and ruins the whole thing. 

(Timber?)

Charming gets back in the carriage and continues on. Emma just ruined her parents’ meet cute. Oops. Hook’s like “Now what?” Emma has an idea of who can help them.

Who is it? Why, Rumplestilskin, of course! Hook is less than pleased to be there. He’s walking into the house of the man who hates him and would gladly kill him on the spot. Rumple agrees with him. Yes, he’s right behind them. And he’s ready to kill Hook, but Emma steps between them. 

(Emma realizes the book never did justice to how crazy the Dark One really looked)

She gives him a summary of Season 1: He casted the spell, went to the land without magic to find his son, and they were from the land without magic in the future. Rumple is inclined to believe them but to test them, he asks Emma if he finds his son. Emma tells him he does. Happy, Rumple takes them back to Dark One Manor.

There, Belle greets them. Emma calls her by name, surprising Belle. So Emma covers and says Rumple told her about Belle. This surprises Belle more and Rumple’s like “No, I didn’t. I don’t like you. Go clean.” She leaves and Emma’s surprised those two ended up together at all. Rumple’s like “I let Hook live and I fall in love with the help? I don’t think I like the future.” Emma ignores this and asks if he can help them. Rumple says he’ll look into a way to open the portal again and all shall be well. But Emma admits she done screwed up. So Rumple says she has to right the wrong.

Easy, right?

Yeah, right.

Emma recalls that her parents got together due to Snow stealing Charming’s mother’s ring. So she needs to get her mother to steal that ring again. Hook has a plan—Snow’s trying to get out of the country and she’s trying to go by boat. He takes Emma to Tortuga, where he has Emma distract his past self. She accepts his challenge. While Emma flirts with Past!Hook, Present!Hook makes Snow an offer—he’ll take her wherever she wants to go if she steals a ring from Prince Charming for him. She agrees.

Meanwhile, Emma and Past!Hook flirt and kiss. He gets her in his cabin but Present!Hook knocks himself out, jealous of…himself. 

(Past!Hook thinks he's probably drank more than he realized)

Emma asks if hitting his past self will have any repercussions but Hook says he’ll just blame it on the rum. They get off the ship and head out to make sure Snow gets the ring.

This brings them to King Midas’ castle and the two figure out how to get in. But Rumple gives them an assist—he produces an invitation for them. And he gives them proper clothing, as well as explaining there is a glamor charm on them. They look nothing like themselves. Hook even has two hands! Rumple has gotten them in, they have to do the rest.

(I'm not sure how I feel about Rumple's glamor spell)

Which includes coming up with their own names! When presented to King Midas, both freeze up when it comes to what to call them. But Emma thinks quick and introduces them as Prince Charles and Princess Leia. And I’m going with that spelling because you know that’s who she was thinking of. Midas welcomes them and is clearly having a great time.

Everybody, it’s Emma’s first ball! She asks Hook why everyone is so enamored with balls until she spots the beautiful gowns, elegantly dressed men and the well-executed choreography. Hook asks her to dance but she says she doesn’t know how. But Hook says it is the waltz and he can teach her. Soon, Emma is dancing like the princess she is. Or will be. Time traveling is so confusing even though I watch Doctor Who.

(Every good romance needs a dance sequence)

So, who isn’t having fun? Prince Charming and Princess Abigail, the guests of honor! Abigail complains about her shoes so Charming suggests he goes to get her more comfortable slippers, sarcastically. Abigail takes it as a genuine offer, so he has to go to their chambers. While he does this, Snow White scales the castle walls and enters the room to steal the ring. But Prince Charming catches her. 

(Wait? Do I want to hurt her or kiss her?)

They struggle and she knocks him off her with a music box. Snow flees as Prince Charming promises to find her, wherever she goes. Princess Abigail raises the alarm and everyone knows Snow White has been spotted. Emma and Hook run to help her. They take out a guard, allowing her to escape. But she dropped the ring. Oops. Emma picks up and returns to the ballroom.

Regina has shown up to the ball and is not thrilled to hear Snow White escaped. Someone points out that Emma helped her. Emma tries to defend herself, but makes the fatal error of calling the Evil Queen by her name. So Emma is arrested as all Hook can do is look on. Well, he’s useless.

And that’s where we end Part One of the finale. Snow doesn’t have the ring, Prince Charming seems all set on marrying Princess Abigail, Rumple is trying to prove he doesn’t like Belle like that, Regina is in full on Evil mode, Emma is her prisoner and Hook is just standing there gaping. Things look a bit hopeless right now, huh?

(Emma realizes how screwed she is)

Buckle your seats belts and hold on for Part Two!

(Screenshots from here)