Thursday, September 30, 2010

We Got the Spirit…Under the Sea!

So I’m sure you’ve either heard or seen the giant gaffe pulled on Australia’s Next Top Model. In the live finale, host Sarah Murdoch announced the wrong winner. The poor girl got to celebrate, hug, thank the entire world and then Sarah had to interrupt the festivities to announce the OTHER girl was really the winner. Of course, there are several questions that raise from this mistake—so I turned to the Almighty Wikipedia to answer the questions! Yes, the finale of Australia’s Next Top Model is broadcast live. And while Sarah Murdoch serves as a judge, the panel is not the sole selector of the winner. The sponsors, members of the fashion industry and the public vote and are combined with the judges’ votes. This was also the first cycle that allowed the viewers to vote. That is why Sarah didn’t know the name of the winner—she would’ve been just as surprised.

Though while Murdoch’s mistake was live, you know our Tyra probably has a lot of taped mistakes of her own hidden somewhere at Bankable Productions.

Now…Last week on America’s Next Top Model: It was makeover week! And still no one has surpassed Jaeda’s meltdown. I guess the girl set the bar too high. But in a surprising twist, one girl was sent home after the makeover. For not truly embracing her hairdo and for being the one to make the biggest fuss, Terra was sent packing while sister Chris cried. But she channeled that heartbreak into a good photo as a heartbroken fallen angel. However, overall, the photoshoot was a bomb. Ann, Kayla, Chris and Chelsey rose to the top while Lexie and Sara were in the bottom two. And after bleaching out Sara’s eyebrows to make her look weird, Tyra sent her packing. Eleven wannabes remain, who will be packing her bags tonight?

Wanna be on top? Have I mentioned how I love the felt the need to throw Italian Vogue into the credits?

VENICE BEACH! The girls go home to admire Ann’s picture…again. Lexie confesses about having to excel this week because she was in the bottom two. The girls goof off while Kayla says she can’t take a third week of Ann. Rhianna agrees, especially since she and Ann were cast with the same looks. Liz worries about her daughter and says she wants to win it more than the other girls. They all say that, Ann. Meanwhile, Kacey seems to be the house loner…until she decides to have a barbecue with the male models. She has her hometown friend’s number. The other girls remind her she has a boyfriend and she says that it’s harmless. The other girls are uncomfortable. Lexie doesn’t trust Kacey since she betrayed a confidence in casting. I missed something, didn’t I?

As the barbecue began, it was awkward. “Middle school dance” awkward according to Kayla. The only ones having Kacey and Shaw. The boys leave.

TYRA MAIL! “Tomorrow your world will be turned upside down.” We suspend the girls over shark-infested water and the last one not to fall to their deaths is the winner? I think I have some issues…I blame our violence-loving media. It’s easier and cheaper than therapy.

The girls hop on the Model Mobile and go to meet Ms. J and Nigel at Knott’s Ferry Farm, America’s First Theme Park. Nigel tells the girls how the fashion industry loves to go to extreme and how the models have to deliver what the client wants. Nigel tells them they will be riding the Silver Bullet. Chris isn’t thrilled. One of the roller coaster camera will snap a picture while Nigel and Ms. J yell out emotions via an earpiece for the girls to portray. The winner of this challenge will get a photoshoot with Tyra and it’ll be displayed online. As the girls race through the queue, Jane reminds us that they will be riding roller coasters, they will have to maintain their composure, and she’s probably going to lose her lunch. Chris compares being on a roller coaster to finding out there is a killer behind her. And I thought I had issues.

Liz is up first and takes off her flip flops. Nigel tells her to be relatable, comfortable, charming…In essence, Liz is being catalogue. Start ‘er up! She yells until she sees the camera. Kacey gets edgy. Lexie gets jealousy/envy. Jane has melancholy. Kayla gets sulking pout. Seriously. Chelsie has a secret no one else knows. Ann gets intense and fierce. Rhianna gets fear while the girls laugh that she’ll be so zen on this ride. Chris is still terrified. Honestly, for the flack I gave her, I understand her apprehension. The Silver Bullet is an inverted roller coaster where your feet dangle, like Batman the Ride here at Six Flags Great Adventure. After riding that, I swore off any other inverted roller coasters where my feet dangle. I was knocked about and came off so white, the ride attendants came over to make sure I wasn’t sick or seriously injured.

Also, does a K-Mart layaway commercial count as a first holiday commercial? Because I see gifts, Santa hats and tree…And October is TOMORROW.

We come back to a terrified Chris refusing to go on a roller coaster. But then she remembers she could get sent home like her sister. So she straps in and gets “distracted in an I don’t care manner.” Who comes up with these? She screams…and screams…and has her eyes closed. Her picture, isn’t very “distracted.” The girls embrace her as she comes off shaking and with tears in her eyes.

They go to view the pictures. Liz nails it, Chelsie loses her teeth, Kelsey gets praised. Esther was sexy-bold, which Nigel liked. Kendal was innocent-coy but looked sick. Ann doesn’t fare well. Chris looks scared. Rhianna loved her ride but didn’t get fear just right. And Liz wins the challenge. She gets to have some one-on-one Tyra time. But she also gets to pick two friends. She picks Chris and Kayla. Nigel and Ms. J send them back.

Liz goes to meet Tyra at Smashbox. Tyra tells Liz she is going to recreate on of Tyra’s poses and Tyra is confident that she’ll out Tyra Tyra. Liz says she glad she won the first challenge. Kayla goes next and impresses Tyra. Chris says she thanked Liz profusely. When they are done, they go to have tea. Tyra jokes with them and asks about their hair. Tyra tells Liz to not go too sexual. Tyra’s really eating. The girls are kinda surprised.

Back at the house, the girls are cleaning. Namely, Lexie and Liz. Lexie wonders why she’s the only one cleaning while Kacey never cleans. She also confronts Kacey about casting and how no one really likes her. Kacey asks if that is true and starts to confront each girl. One girl thinks that she is fake and someone else thinks she was the girl who got everything will want. Kacey can’t believe everyone is gaining up on her while Lexie wants to use this as a springboard to try to reach some sort of peace in the house. Sorry, Kacey, looks like you are getting the house bitch edit. Someone has to. Don’t make me review reality show laws. Kacey says she’s glad she’s alone because only one person can win, the other girls suck, blah blah blah. If you’ve heard the house bitch rant before, you know what she said.

Commercials! I really would’ve liked to hear Bianca and Laura’s take on the house rivalry.

TYRA MAIL! “True beauty lies just under the surface.” All the girls predict water. And the house bitch can’t swim!

The Model Mobile takes them to Smashbox Studios. The girls will be modeling jewelry from Martin Katz, Neil Lane and Mikimoto (remember them from Cycle 3?) in a beauty shot. Last week, it was men. This week, it’s seafood! Yes, all of Ariel and Nemo’s friends will be their partners. Mr. Jay introduces fashion legend Matthew Rolston as their photographer. Chelsie and Chris are impressed and thrilled. He tells them to pretend to be undersea goddesses. They will be slid between glass plates and suspended over water. He tells them he’s fully hands on. And he proves that in makeup. He wonders about Chris’ forehead and thinks hand. Chris suggests octopus.

Kendal is up first and Mr. Jay tells her to find an emotion to connect to for this scenario. She picks sensual. He tells her to imagine the club. Kendal gets an eel. She gets pushed under the glass of water. Mr. Jay doesn’t think she’s in the club and Matthew wants her to be happy. Kayla follows and Mr. Jay calls her regal and calls her a modern day Ariel. Matthew says “wow.” Chelsey follows and they tell her to go softer and are impressed. Esther is called a movie star by Matthew. Chris gets on and really pushes for an octopus. Matthew wins with the hand. Mr. Jay is impressed she held it together and wowed him. Lexie follows and reminds us she was in the bottom two last week. They add splashes and poor Lexie battle seasickness. Kacey thinks she’s trying to psyche them out. Matthew likes her. Why must the house bitch take such good pictures? Jane and Ann both do well. Rhianna watches Ann and then follows her. Can someone in production tell her to SPEAK UP! She’s almost as bad as Mumbles. Mr. Jay calls her Elizabethan but notices the same expressions week after weeks. Liz struggles to focus, saying her eyes are watery due to the makeup. And we know Mr. Jay thinks she is a complainer. Mr. Jay tells to her to model through anything. Mr. Jay isn’t impressed.

SKULL and CROSSBONES! Someone gets to walk the plank! I mean, gets to go home! Kayla predicts Rhianna in the bottom because she is one look. Chelsey wants to be number one and predicts Liz will go home due to her complaining.

Nigel gets a makeup touch up before panel while Matthew Rolston thanks Tyra for the opportunity. The girls enter. There are prizes, there is Italian Vogue, there are judges, and Matthew Rolston is our guest judge. Kacey is first. The panel is horrified she is wearing gold lame shoes. Tyra gives her her shoes. Andre and Nigel love her picture. Tyra says that this type of shoot can cause models to look dead because they are immobile. Kayla follows and Tyra also compares her to Ariel. She’s versatile and Tyra likes. Esther’s looks like a legit magazine cover. Matthew calls her old Hollywood and Andre compares her to Liz Taylor. They love Ann. Matthew Rolston loves her look. Matthew says he loved shooting Chris. Tyra gets to share big forehead tricks. Jane is praised for her balancing act and Tyra tells her to stretch her neck. Andre calls her elegant and warm. Nigel wants to see her head on and to make the picture her own.

Nigel thinks Rhianna is uncomfortable. Rhianna thought she had a smirk, Nigel doesn’t see it. Kendal follows and Nigel loves it. But Matthew says it was a struggle with her mouth. Chelsie looks nice but she’s not wearing the makeup. Tyra thinks she got kicked off RuPaul’s DragU. And they applaud the challenge winner, Liz. They didn’t like her picture and Tyra’s disappointed. And Liz tells her story about the contact lens. Liz, it’s Cycle 15…Tyra and the panel don’t like excuses! Haven’t you learned this already? Jeez. Tyra tells her to countdown, close her eyes, model through the pain. Just like Mr. Jay said.

The judges deliberate. They love Kacey. Of course. They love Kayla. Andre loves Esther. Matthew calls Ann memorable and says she can break the rule with her height. Jane sells to the Town and Country set. Lexie can’t just survive on profile. Matthew isn’t too certain about Rhianna. Tyra doesn’t know if she’s versatile. Matthew says he loves Kendal’s coloration and Tyra’s proud. And the complaints get rehashed at Liz’s shoot. ELIMINATION! I want to see someone scream if Ann gets called first again. And she gets it. And no one screams. Come on, girls! Work with me! She is joined by Kacey, Esther, Chris, Kendal, Lexie, Kayla, Jane, and Chelsey. Tyra tells her to learn how to wear the makeup. Our bottom two are Liz and Rhianna. Rhianna: Judges are worried about her versatility. Liz: Strong, edgy but a complainer. So who stays? Liz. So, suck it up and stop complaining! Tyra hugs a crying Rhianna. Tyra tells her they are looking for a girl who can change into whatever Italian Vogue wants and tells her to go practice being a chameleon.

As Rhianna hugs the girls, she confesses that she’s met great people and learned from her experience. Tyra tells her it’s beauty how much Rhianna was loved. Hear that, Kacey?

America’s Next Top Model:

Anamaria

Ann

Chelsey

Chris

Esther

Jane

Kacey

Kayla

Kendal

Lexie

Liz

Rhianna

Sara

Terra

Finally some drama! I would love to have been a fly on the wall while Kacey’s boyfriend watched that episode. I loved how the girls looked this shoot. Much better than last week. So, is anybody on Kacey’s side in this argument?

Next week: Moving runway! Lexie v. Kacey v. Liz. House drama! Yes!

Quote of the Episode:

“We honestly felt like a mixer at someone’s house and mom’s upstairs.”-Jane, about the awkward barbecue.

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