Hidden Bitch, Flying Model

Last week on America’s Next Top Model: I was in a meeting so I missed the episode. But I know that Ashley was kicked off. So, Erin, as the closest thing to a stealth bitch, you’re up as house bitch now. Who gets kicked off tonight? Find out!

Wanna be on top?

LA! The girls take their ride home. Sundai reveals in her praise, in which Nicole and Erin were weak. Nicole needs to show her personality. Kara holds auditions for ANTM—The Musical. They mock Laura’s small town upbringing.

TYRA MAIL! “How driven are you? We’ll find out tomorrow.” The girls guess cars of some sort. Hmm, maybe I was premature in giving the bitch crown to Erin. Kara is really mean about Nicole, saying she has the social graces of a fetus. What. The. Eff?

The girls go back to Wilhelmina Models and Sean Patterson sends them on go-sees. They get a car and a map. The girls are horrified to go low-tech. The girls are divided into teams and given instructions to get back at four. There Nicole and Laura, Brittany and Kara, Jennifer and Erin, and Sundai and Rae. Rae, Sundai, Brittany and Kara arrive at Neil Lane. It is jewelry. Neil Lane goes on about Kara’s unpierced ears. Hey! I don’t have pierced ears. Guess that’s why I’m trying to get into writing/publishing than modeling. Neil liked Brittany. Erin and Jennifer go to Roseann Nichols. The designer liked Erin but not Jennifer. Sundai and Rae go into Neil Lane. They don’t impress him much. Nicole and Laura go to Wongdoody—an ad company. They liked Nicole. Laura shows off her “hood-rat.” It sounds like “Moose and Squirrel.”

Brittany and Kara try British. The former is “robotic” and the latter is “greasy.” Laura is foiled by a parking meter. Roseann likes Nicole. Erin and Jennifer arrive at Trina. She likes Jennifer. Rae and Sundai are having some navigation troubles.

Sundai and Rae get into Wongdoody. Rae does “Minnesotan.” Sundai does “shy.” Rae is pretty sure she just offended an entire state and Sundai doesn’t impress. Brittany and Kara don’t help Nicole and Laura to Trina. Kara gets called “scruffy” and Brittany “rude.” Laura and Nicole go back, as do Brittany and Kara. Sundai and Rae debate whether to go back or do another go-see. Nicole and Laura get back first at a quarter to four. Jennifer and Erin are rushing. Sundai and Rae make it to Trina. She likes the duo. They run back. Kara and Brittany make it back with six minutes to spare. Jennifer and Erin are in traffic. Rae and Sundai rationalize their decision. Jennifer and Erin just make it and Jennifer thanks God. The girls countdown to four pm. They reach it. Rae and Sundai are disqualified. They are fifteen minutes late, if I am reading the clock right.

Sean calls them over. He asks Sundai and Rae what happened. He tells them models can’t be late and banishes them to the lobby. Jennifer is sweet and lively, but too much eye makeup. Laura is cute and fresh, but little range in commercial. Brittany is gorgeous but robotic. Kara has a strong walk but is scruffy. Erin is gorgeous but timid. Nicole has a beautiful face but no personality. Sean tells them the winner will get a piece from each designer and will be in a commercial. Nicole wins. Sean dismisses the girls.

Nicole goes home to enjoy her challenge win. Laura hopes to get a dress for being her chauffer. Someone thinks Nicole just got a win but she says she earned it. Sundai is upset and she and Kara make fun of Nicole in a commercial. Kara, if you tell panel you hate Nicole and it was your inspiration, Tyra will have to get all Oprah on you.

After their Tyra Mail, the girls figure they’ll do Victoria’s Secret. But they go to a martial arts school, where Mr. Jay attacks with weapons. He tells them they will be using martial arts weapons—on a wire. They will take 3 shots to be composited into a motion shot.

Nicole: Chooses the sword. She yells and Mr. Jay gives her advice. He is pleased with her.

Jennifer: Goes with the double sword. Mr. Jay loves her face. She gets 10 points.

Erin: Is called an Elf in the air.

Laura: She chooses nunchucks. Impresses Mr. Jay, especially how she elongates her body.

Kara: Struggles. Mr. Jay calls her weak. Ha ha, bitch!

Brittany: Uncoordinated in real life, but strong and graceful on film.

Rae: Can’t project herself on film.

Sundai: Uses double swords. Mr. Jay doesn’t find her graceful. Mr. Jay calls her work “remedial modeling.”

The girls go home and compare harness bruises. Sundai is worried, as is Rae.

PANEL! There are prizes, there are judges, there is Ms. J’s football sleeves and guest judge Jessica White, supermodel. Jennifer is loved by Nigel. Rae isn’t fluid. Erin does a zig-zag, which Tyra loves. Jessica loves Brittany, Tyra loves how Brittany finds the light. The judges don’t like Kara’s photos. Laura needs to lose the jacket (fitted by her grandmother!) Tyra loves how she lengthens the body. Jessica likes Sundai’s legs. Nigel says she gives them the same thing. Nicole is applauded for being the challenge winner. She wears a dress from her prize, which Tyra loves. Nigel says sehe needs more variety. And she needs it in personal as well.

Top Models in Action: Fo! She’s rocking the fashion world. Go, Fo!

LA! The judges deliberate. Jennifer is good crazy. Yes, it exists. I think I have had a few friends who would fit this category. Brittany needs to look like a model. Jessica loves Nicole. Laura surprises Nigel and Tyra. Erin needs to smile and smize. Everyone smizes. ELIMINATION! The first girl called is Nicole. She is followed by: Laura, Brittany, Erin, Jennifer and Rae. Sundai and Kara are in the bottom two. Kara: Special face, but someone who is lost and struggling. Sundai: Underdog, but is stuck. Who stays? Sundai, naturally. This is karma, Kara. Sundai needs to take a picture with her face straight on. Tyra hugs Kara and asks what happened. She focused on mocking Nicole rather than modeling. Kara just cries as Tyra tells her to want it. Kara feels the competition wasn’t worth it since she didn’t win. Someone redid the theme song?

America’s Next Top Model:

Ashley
Sundai
Bianca
Rae
Brittany
Rachel
Courtney
Nicole
Erin
Lulu
Jennifer
Lisa
Kara
Laura

Next week: The Insider! Cover Girl commercials!

Do you think it was karma that got back at Kara? Or do you agree that Nicole shouldn’t be there? Will Sundai now be the house bitch or will Erin step up again?