Colonial Christmas

I know Christmas was over a month away but allow me to turn back the clock for a bit. The date will now be December 26, 2008 and you are coming with me on my Christmas vacation in Williamsburg, VA.

Cue the colonial music.

Some of you may remember my blog posts about our trip to Boston. In them, I described a game we played on our way up, guessing how many license plates we would see.  We settled in my mom’s mini-van and got ready to play the game. However, we got a bit sidetracked. My mom commented on how one never really sees car shells anymore and how much room ours gave us on family vacations. Not five minutes after this conversation we counted three cars with car shells on the opposite side in almost a row. After that, we started counting car shells—and they had to be shells, not boxes/bags tied to the roof—on the way down.

By the time we got to Williamsburg at nearly 6:30 PM, we counted over 150 car shells.

We checked into the Quality Inn Colony near the Visitor’s Center and whoever was in there before us was very cold. Our two rooms were sweltering hot and we had to lower the heat. We left the rooms to cool down, rushing over to Williamsburg as we had tickets for the 7:30 PM performance of “Carols at the Courthouse.” The courthouse was awash in candlelight as the quintet sang some of the popular Christmas carols of the 18^th century. One of the singers filled the times not spent singing with historical information about how Colonial Americans would’ve celebrated Christmas.

Christmas wasn’t a big day for revelry—the people usually went to church and then stayed home with family for a large meal. The following twelve days were a time of parties, merry-making and gifts, usually on Boxing Day. This day, following Christmas, got its name from the tradition of the master of a household bequeathing boxes of gold coins to his servants for a year of good work. The last night, the famous Twelfth Night, was the biggest night for revelry and unlike previous nights, the children were allowed to stay up late and join the festivities.

After the singing was finished, we returned to our hotel. Unfortunately, it had not cooled down enough and both my father and I were in for a night of sweating, tossing and turning.

After the rough night (and a quick stop at a local K-Mart for new sneakers and some snacks, among other things), we returned to Colonial Williamsburg in time to see the famous fife and drum core come up the Duke of Gloucester Street. We just had time to see them before hurrying to the Lumber House for our 1:30 PM tour of Williamsburg’s Christmas decorations.

While our guide explained outside decorations such as we do now were not tradition in the 18^th century, a compromise had to be reached with the residents who still resided in some of the historical houses during the early years of the operation. They decorated their houses with items that would be found in the 18^th century—fruit, evergreen, etc. Houses deemed the best are given awards. While the tour started out well enough, it soon got boring seeing fruit over and over. Our tour guide also did not do a good job holding our attention either and by the time we got to the other end of the Duke of Gloucester Street, we noticed our group was considerably smaller than the one that gathered on the Palace Green.

We departed the tour and went to get a snack at the Raleigh Bakery, located just behind the Raleigh Tavern. The line is worth the wait to the goodies sold inside. I prefer a chocolate chip cookie and a bottle of ginger ale. My sister usually gets an apple and a bottle of root beer while my mother absolutely loves their corn bread. I’ve also heard a few compliments of their apple pasties as well. It’s good for a mid-afternoon snack and won’t hurt your wallet as a mid-afternoon snack in Disney would.

As we munched on our treats, we sat back to watch a performance of “Revolutionary City.” Crazy Annie provided commentary between speeches by Lord Dunmore, Patrick Henry, John and Peyton Randolph. They discussed the dissolution of the House of Burgesses as well as the Battle of Lexington and Concord. As Crazy Annie brought everyone to view a copy of Lord Dunmore’s announcement to slaves, we continued on to the visitor’s center for our viewing of Williamsburg: A Patriot’s Tale, the longest running movie in motion picture history. If you go to Williamsburg, see this movie at least once. It’ll give you a great understanding of the city’s importance and let little kids feel excited when they recognize the buildings.

After a dinner at Cracker Barrel, Official Eating Place of the Brims on Vacation, we returned to the historic area for our evening programs. My sister wanted to see “Crime and Punishment” and we got tickets for the 7:15 tour. We met three different people who were involved in the Williamsburg legal scene. The first was of Jack Scratch, a rather overzealous undersheriff who liked his job a bit too much. Today, he would probably fail the psychological test. He talked about some punishments criminals might have been given, like having their ear nicked while in the stocks. After we left him, we saw another creepy fellow—an indentured servant working for the sheriff. He spoke about the courts giving people a second chance but branding their crimes into their palm—“T” for thief or “M” for murder. He showed us his brand, telling us he was accused of stealing though he protested his innocence. We left him and went to the actual gaol to visit a deranged woman who told us her tale of woe. She had been an orphan of England, accused of stealing and sent to America. There, she worked as an indentured servant and caught the eye of her master. In the classic story, he led her to believe they could be together if his wife was out of the picture. So, she killed her and was hanged for it. She kept calling out for her young daughter until she remembered she was dead. However, I’m surprised they picked an older woman to portray the ghost as the woman was most likely considerably younger.

After the tour was over, we hurried across the historic area for our 8:45 PM tour—Christmastide at Home. Our tour started on the Palace Green, heading toward a kitchen attached to the Governor’s Palace. Two servants from the 1760s discussed Christmas traditions such as Boxing Day and the Lord of Misrule (a servant appointed as lord over the twelve night festivities). We moved to a stable to see two soldiers discussing Christmas 1776, including their frustrations over how the war was going (Of course, history buffs know George Washington would make his famous attack on the British that night). They discussed their own traditions at Christmas before firing off shots to welcome the holiday.  As the shots rang out, we next saw a scene from the early 1800s depicting the first Christmas tree. We finished in 1944, where a mother explained to her daughter the reason for Williamsburg’s tradition. It was a lovely tour and very informative.

Just a side note: While the Williamsburg people will tell you the Tucker-St. George house was the location of the first Christmas tree, there is proof the tree was in America before the 19^th century. The Pennsylvania Dutch brought the tradition with them as they settled here and there are accounts of the Hessian soldiers decorating trees during the American Revolution.

Sunday was a free day—we have relatives in the area and thought we might visit them that day. Unfortunately, they didn’t return our messages and we were unable to reach them in person, so we went to church with the day wide open. But when we left Mass, we were dismayed to find one of our tires had gone flat. Unable to leave the parking lot, my mother called AAA. Since we belong to the New York branch, that’s the number we called but they helpfully transferred us to the Virginia branch. A tow truck came and after a bit of a search, the donut was put on our car. He gave us the name of a place where we could get our tire fixed which ended up being located right across from our hotel! So, thanks to the tow truck man and AAA. Fortunately, the temps that day hit a high of 75 degrees, so we weren’t so upset about sitting in our car with the windows down.

We stopped for a late lunch at Pizza Uno’s, served by the cheerful Dr. Bill who answered our questions about his education. We decided to go to the Colonial Williamsburg Visitor’s Center and do our souvenir shopping. The gift store is split in two. On one side is the store full of the little odds and ends—T-shirts, dolls, drums, etc—and the other side has the book store, complete with music and video items. I picked up a book on ghosts in Williamsburg while my mother picked up the colonial caroler’s CD and the orientation movie on DVD. We sent my sister to check the programs for that night and we decided to go wait for the illuminations of the taverns.

We chose a spot right next to the stage outside Raleigh’s Tavern, where some scenes of “Revolutionary City” are performed. After helping a family move the benches around so they could view the Duke of Gloucester Street better, we were dismayed to suddenly feel rain. We decided to stick it out though and I’m glad we did. The event started with the fife and drum corps parading down until they reached the first tavern. A narrator came on over the PA system to explain the history of each tavern. A small band of militia fired guns as each lamp was lit. The fife and drum corps would start up again and march to the next tavern. We soon found we picked a great spot as we had front row seats for the last performance of the corps and had our own personal heater when they lit the lamps outside the Raleigh. We were dry before we ever returned to our car.

The entire trip, my sister was craving chocolate covered strawberries from Wyeth candy shop. We finally got into the store on Monday—the map said the store was open from 9 to 9, but when we went at 8 PM Saturday night, the store was closed. Unfortunately, strawberries were not in season. So she settled on a chocolate covered apple while I downed another ginger ale (I love the brand they serve in Williamsburg!). I enjoyed my drink; she didn’t particularly care for her apple. She chucked it and we headed back to the main historic area.

We sat down outside the Mary Stith house, where the program I wanted to see would happen. Due to the crowds, you had to get to a program at least an hour in advance. So, what else is there to do? Chat up the people standing there with you! Particularly as Monday was not as balmy as Sunday, we needed body heat. We met a nice family from Florida and the hour flew by.

The program was called “Theater and the Road to Revolution.” The history of theater in the American colonies was explained. An excerpt from a popular colonial play was performed and we were requested to act like a colonial audience: if we liked something, cheer. If we hated something, boo. And if we wanted to see something again, yell “Encore!” The performers graciously obliged us to do-overs of some demanding scenes. Next an excerpt of George Washington’s favorite play, Cato, was performed. Washington himself ordered the play performed at Valley Forge. Congress, having outlawed theater in a show of support with New England and a measure against frivolity, ordered him to never do that again. The program ended with a stroll down memory lane for me. An excerpt from “The Contrast” by Royall Tyler, the first truly American play, was read. It was the first play I read in my American Drama class.

By the way, Congress’ law outlawing theater was never repealed.

We needed to pick up our new tire so we grabbed a quick lunch of McDonald’s before returning to the hotel. After some resting, we returned to Cracker Barrel for a light dinner—this time, I just had a tossed salad. We paid for our favorite nighttime activity—a ghost tour—this night but had about an hour and a half to kill. We settled outside the King’s Arm Inn, though sadly there wasn’t a fire burning behind us like the night before at the Raleigh. We saw a few tours go ahead of us and heard the story of Irma, a manager at the King’s Arm who also lived in an upstairs room. She died there but still demands respect. So, employees say “Good morning, Irma” and “Good night, Irma” so as not to invoke her wrath. We figured we sat there so long that when we went to check in, we said good night to Irma as well.

Kelly led our tour, where she started with the ghost of former tavern owner who still haunts his tavern. He has even messed with her—unlocking the bathroom door. Next she moved onto two ghosts most people don’t expect to see in Williamsburg—Civil War era ones. Williamsburg was the site of a battle during the war and has its share of 19^th century ghosts. We continued on—there was a ghost a tour guide told his group to ignore, creepy sounds in the Capitol, etc. I’d go more into the ghost stories, but if I did, why would you go on it? I suggest you do. The guides are Williamsburg employees who have had encounters and share entertaining stories.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end. We cleaned out the rooms and went back to the historic area for one more go-round, like our Walt Disney World last call. We went back to the courthouse for a final program: Order in the Court. We sat in on the recreation of an actual trial, which was about a Baptist minister accused of disturbing the peace and preaching in a non-sanctioned place.  After the program ended, we made one last stop at the Raleigh Bakery to load up for the ride home. This time though we tried the tavern rolls (AKA unsalted pretzels) and my sister and I agreed next time, we’re bringing something to dip them in. So with one final sip of ginger ale and a quick stop at the ladies room, we left.

So it was back to reality via 301, which my grandparents used to drive to South Carolina. And as the temperature on my mother’s car dropped from 60s to 30s, we returned to New Year to ring in 2009!

Wanted: Members for a Posse. See Amy's Dad

Last week on Secret Life of the American Girl: Ricky’s evil dad Bryan Callen showed up, offering help to the Jurgens. Everyone freaked out. Amy seriously considered adoption but Ricky was completely against it. Also, Jack’s doing community service.

We start with Ricky and Adrian in bed. He tries to leave but he is angry. Adrian is determined to find out why. Ricky is about to cry. Adrian seems a bit more needy than usual. Ricky tells Adrian what his dad did to him. And that he isn’t interested in dear old dad’s offer of selling the baby. Adrian tries to plead with him to stay but Ricky leaves. He’s in a state. Adrian’s Dad is hanging out in the lot and fields a call from his upset daughter. She pleads with him to lock Bryan Callen back up but he says he can’t do much. I like Adrian more and more each week. I think she’s the most fleshed out character.

CREDITS!

Amy’s Dad shaves in the kitchen. Molly Ringwald is slightly disgusted. Ashley comes down and asks if she can go over to a friend’s house after school. Her parents seems a bit surprised. Molly pokes around to find out more about this friend but Ashley is not forthcoming. Amy is surprised to hear Ashley has a friend, leading to her sister having a fit. Amy says she has a doctor’s appointment—she’ll find out the sex today! Boy or Girl? Molly reminds us that Amy is considering adoption.

The Sausage King comes in to move his son along. He seems surprised to hear Ben wants to go along on Amy’s appointment—how will Ben handle seeing Amy’s stomach. Come. On. It’s her stomach. He’s probably seen stomachs before. Ben reminds dad of his not!marriage and says Amy wants him there for this and the birth. The Sausage King laughs. Amy’s Dad goes to visit Ricky’s foster parents and finds out more about Bryan Callen—the money, the drugs, the restraining order. Amy’s Dad is understandably upset while Foster Dad tries to calm him down.

Ricky confides his problems with Josie Bisset and John Schneider. They are understanding. Ricky doesn’t want to see Grace because he feels he is putting her in danger now that Bryan Callen’s out of jail. John tries to explain that Bryan Callen is Bryan Callen, not Ricky. He wishes he could be a Christian but prayer has failed him as a  child. I think it is sweet he went to them.

Adrian and Ricky talk, where he asks that she not pity him. He tells her that he broke up with Grace but Adrian can’t decide if he’s being noble or selfish—the heart wants what the heart can’t have. They set up a booty call as we go back to the Jurgens’ house. Amy’s Dad uses the argument that people pay for babies under the table as ADOPTION IS BAD. Molly tries to calm him down and say that ADOPTION IS GOOD. Amy’s Dad is worried that Ricky will complete the cycle of abuse. Molly tells him that’s unfair.

Amy and Ben try to figure out how awkward the doctor’s visit will be. Once again, Ben will see Amy’s stomach. I get she’s pregnant and the stomach will not be a normal stomach, but what’s so sexual about seeing someone’s stomach? Amy says she doesn’t want Ben at the doctor’s appointment or the birthing classes or the delivery. Ben asks her to reconsider letting him be there when the baby is born. He says he loves her and Amy just walks away. I think I can hear Ben’s heart breaking.

Josie opens the door to find Amy’s Dad standing there. She’s none-too-thrilled to see her ex-husband on her stoop but she invites him in. They argue about Ricky’s dad. He wants to round up a posse and lynch Bryan Callen, she tells him to let the law handle the pervert. He points out that Grace could be Amy’s child’s step-mother. Josie says that her daughter is a long way from marriage. Amy’s Dad leaves frustrated while Molly lets Bryan Callen have it at a gas station. She calls him a coward and tells him to stay away from Ricky and Amy. She orders him out of town. She was very awesome in this scene.

Grace finds Ricky. She tries to convince him that she doesn’t care and that she’s not scared. Grace confesses her love for Ricky. Oh, sweetie, you can do a lot better. Ricky says he can’t say it back. Grace breaks down, repeating the word love several times in hopes he’ll finally say it back. She then tries the “we can be friends” bit. She says she’ll pray for him. Someone get this girl a decent boyfriend. Please.

Molly and Amy talk about Ashley’s new friend while waiting for the doctor. Amy says not to worry about Ashley—she won’t do something stupid after Amy ruined her life. Molly tells her not to think that. Her life is just changing. Amy says she hopes the baby is a girl. Molly says just to hope that the baby will be safe. She says maybe Ricky will break the cycle of abuse. Amy shocks her mom with the request to do the appointment alone. I don’t think that’s legal. They wouldn’t take my blood without my parent present until I was 18 and my pediatrician was a little concerned when I showed up to an appointment at 16 by myself.

Ashley is staring down a painting of Jesus during the Garden of Gethsemane. Jack spots her and they talk, where Ashley reveals she is waiting for his dad. They talk for a bit before Jack has to head off to “gangland” for his community service. She continues to look at the painting when a blonde comes in. She’s looking for Rev. Stone too but doesn’t have time—she’s a waitress at a cocktail bar that’s understaffed, but she also needs Rev. Stone’s help with getting her deadbeat ex to pay child support. Ashley asks about a job and the woman says okay.

Seriously?

Bryan Callen shows up outside the school, spooking Ricky. He asks if the baby is a boy or girl. Because he’s got a couple willing to pay a lot for a white male baby. Bryan Callen barters the baby for leaving Ricky alone. This guy is just skivvy. Even more skivvy than Marie’s Skivvy Fiancé from CSI: NY. Bryan pulls out of the lot. Ricky gets in his car and freaks out.

Adrian calls her dad to rat out Bryan Callen. He says he’ll call her back, pissing her off. Turns out he’s with Amy’s Dad, who still wants to round up that posse and lynch the bastard. Adrian’s Dad gives a lecture about how the jails are failing people. Amy’s Dad tells him to keep the pervert away from Adrian, who is a nice girl. Adrian’s Dad gets back by responding Adrian’s mother is nice as well. Amy’s Dad looks embarrassed.

Jack knocks on a door and is opened by teenage girl. He asks who she is to Duncan. She responds his sister—Shauna. She notes that Jack doesn’t look like the type to get busted for fake IDs but says they noted he most likely didn’t do it. Duncan comes to the door. He’s about Jack’s age. They get in the car, spotting Bryan Callen buying some narcotics. Jack tries to make a call but Duncan gives him some pointers—drive away and then make the call.

The Sausage King comes to check up on his son, who is sulking about not going to the appointment. He points out that Ben and Amy haven’t been intimate. Doesn’t help. Amy’s Dad calls the Sausage King and they make dinner plans. Turns out Dad is in the cocktail bar Ashley is working in. He’s not too happy to see her there.

Amy goes in for her appointment while Molly hangs out in the waiting room.

Ashley and her father talk about her job. She mentions she earned $100 in tips so he makes her give the money to the nice blonde woman. The Sausage King shows up as they wait for Molly. Meanwhile, Ricky goes back to the Bowman household. John Schneider gives him a fatherly lecture. He says that Ricky has sex because of his father’s sins. He tells him to first love himself. Ricky has to take responsibility for himself and to stop the cycle of abuse. Ricky isn’t having it. Turns out John Schneider’s brother was being abused by a neighbor and he killed himself over it. He learned when they read the letter. John Schneider says that he’s glad that Ricky is talking about it and will allow him to date Grace. I love John Schneider.

Amy’s Dad tries to convince the Sausage King to round up that posse and lynch Bryan Callen. The Sausage King tries to calm the man down. Ashley gets a text and soon Amy’s Dad does too. It cuts to Ben filming Amy and Molly making a video for the baby. She let her mother in with her for the sonogram. Looks like Amy’s going to give the baby up for adoption. She reveals the baby is a boy.

Adrian opens the door. She gives him the good news that they got his dad—busted him for possession of drugs. Ricky is ready to cry.

So, do you think Amy will go through with the adoption? Or will we get the “Amy looks into her baby boy’s eyes and realizes she can’t let him go” angle?

Next week: Ricky comes over. And Ben seems to be on the path of heartbreak.

Quote of the episode:

Amy’s Dad: You have a friend?

Molly: George!

Amy’s Dad: What, like you weren’t thinking the same thing? 

Is It Getting Ugly for Betty?

It was announced that ABC is shelving Thursday night staple "Ugly Betty" come March 26th. It will be replaced with Christina Applegate's sitcom, Samantha Who? Her show has been without a home since The Bachelor premiered and ABC decided to continue running the show in two hour blocks. Applegate will share the hour with Megan Mullally's new show. It was a bit of a shock as Ugly Betty was one of ABC's biggest hits, but a decline in ratings was cited in the article. 

And frankly, I'm afraid I can see why. 

Now, I'm the type of person who likes a show and will defend it no matter what the writing on the wall says. Sadly, the writing on the wall for Betty isn't good. I love the website Television Without Pity and they recap Ugly Betty. I wasn't too thrilled when the recaps for this season were taking over by recapper Jacob. He used to do Doctor Who and while I know the show is brilliant, even I can find ways to snark about it (my Moron's Guide to Doctor Who). Jacob however decided to use the time to write his thesis paper. I wanted snark not commentary on how the show matched up with various poets. However, his work on "Love and Monsters" was pretty good so I decided to give him a second chance. His open hatred of the show, though, put me off again. 

But his latest recaplet made points that cannot be ignored even by me--since the original show runners left after the writer's strike last season, Ugly Betty hasn't been as good as it used to be. It is as if the writers did not even watch Season 1. Betty was a smart, determined girl who found herself in odd situations she had to get out of. It seems now that she's gotten dumber from working at Mode, more likely to create more messes than she solves while her usually supportive family suddenly hates her for deciding to have a career. There's a way to show the difficulty in balancing family and work without having to make ultimatums, show. Bring back the loving, supportive Papi. Bring back the smart Betty. Good lord, I even miss WALTER. During this hiatus, I hope the show runners watch Season 1 and realize why we loved Betty. 

And hopefully, Ugly Betty will get a fourth season and she will dazzle us again. 

When Pranks Turn Deadly

New York! Some guy gets handcuffed by two cops because he’s either on steroids or doing an impression of the Incredible Hulk. The perp breaks free, punching a cop and climbing on top of Angell’s desk. She lets Flack take a teen into interrogation as she joins the dog pile on the perp. As Bruce Banner is subdued, Flack rushes out, calling for an ambulance. Angell runs in to see Flack doing CPR on the teen. He explains the boy started convulsing. Angell checks for a pulse and woefully tells Flack, “He’s dead.”

CREDITS!

CRIME SCENE. DO NOT CROSS. Danny takes pictures as Flack gives his statement to Mac. Hey, what’s Adrian’s dad doing here? Isn’t he a DA in Cali? Flack goes to talk to Adrian’s Dad about “Mr. Fleming,” who was picked up at wrestling practice in connection to another case. Mac notes a bruise just as Adrian’s Dad mentions it. Flack said he got it when he lost grip on the convulsing Fleming. Adrian’s Dad thinks Flack hit the poor guy. That’s when Flack asks for his union attorney. Oh, Flack.

As the tatters of Flack’s incident report go flying, we see a title card: 2 days ago. The city starts to go backwards as we rewind time. We see some teens snowboarding down some snowy stairs. Good thing for producers it actually snowed Sunday and Monday here in New York City. One boarder discovers a dead foot. Stella finds bloody old Christmas wrapping paper. The same wrapping paper type is found around a dead arm Danny and Hawkes fish out of a dumpster.

Sid puts death the night before with the chop-chop coming after. Sid can’t tell what caused the chop-chop. Lindsay brings in a dead hand, this time it has peeling skin. Danny notes that happens when the body is submerged in water long enough. Sid makes an OJ reference and peels the skin to get prints using the skin as a glove. It comes back to Vince Nelson. Cut to his wife telling us he was the head wrestling coach at Hillside High. There are many awards ALL over the place. Mrs. Nelson says her husband was taking a night class in business so he could open his own school. She was asleep and didn’t notice he didn’t come home until she woke up. Lindsay notes a laptop as Mrs. Nelson cries. Lindsay and Stella take their leave as Mrs. Nelson recalls two men lurking around on the roof. A neighbor checked, noting blood.

They put a pregnant woman on a roof? Stella finds and photographs the blood as Lindsay checks it. We cut to Flack noting that Nelson wasn’t taking business classes. He was hiding something. Mac wants to know what that is. Stella looks at the blood and tells Mac it isn’t human, it’s alligator. Not the old alligators in the sewer legend!

Okay, I spent half a season trying to figure out why the guy in the Eleventh Hour show looked familiar but I didn’t go on IMDb.com ever to check. Finally, during Grissom’s last episode it finally hit me: Rufus Sewell! Thought I’d share.

NEW YORK! We go back to the coroner’s room where Danny makes a Mr. Potato Head joke and Sid recalls how he used to time himself on putting Mr. Potato Head together. I always liked putting the lips in Mr. Potato Head’s nose hole. Sid found an acupuncture magnet, which Lindsay notes is supposed to cure smoking. The spine is burnt, possibly from kinetic energy. Sid also finds sawdust, leaving Danny to speculate it might be a chainsaw that did the chop-chop. So, gets to work hacking away while Lindsay works on the acupuncture magnet. They both get something! Danny: Murder weapon, Lindsay: Finger print.

We cut to a salsa class. A woman is spun right into Flack. Lucky. Bitch. Apparently, she was arrested for prostitution, which is when she dismisses her student. She knows the victim; he was a student. Nelson was learning salsa to surprise his wife for their anniversary. Aww. However, Sheldon starts showing kiddie pornography on Nelson’s laptop. He sent it to several students on his team. Mac looks ready to hurl as Sheldon tries to see if there are more. Flack decides to track down the kid using the Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Mac shows the kids who were sent the e-mails. Danny shows the chainsaw was new to the market but none of the kids on the e-mails bought it. Stella comes in to say that Todd Fleming, dead kid from cold open, did a science fair project on the properties of alligator blood.

Angell and Flack go to talk to Fleming, discussing it with the assistant coach. They catch Todd with the alligator blood. He protests his innocence on killing but not being on the roof. They take him out, which he isn’t too thrilled about. We cut to time moving forward and…it’s the cold open with Bruce Banner again. Flack asks Todd about the e-mail Nelson sent. He said it was crazy and no one was supposed to get hurt. At that point, Todd does a fine imitation of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Flack grabs him before running out to request that ambulance. Todd is seen in the background, convulsing and foaming. Did someone take something?

TODD FLEMING! Sid says it was a brain condition. He notes bruises and broken ribs—all caused by Flack’s attempt to save Todd. He’s not sure about the bruise on Todd’s head and says the tox panel came back negative. Mac is adamant Flack did nothing wrong. Angell gets interrogated in one room while Adrian’s Dad continues lambasting Flack in another. It is revealed Flack was alone with Todd while the boy changed into street clothes. Adrian’s Dad tells Flack he can turn in his gun and badge downstairs while he goes on suspension. Flack remembers this is America: innocent unless proven guilty. His record is clean, which Angell says as the other interrogator comments on their relationship. Angell comes out to ask him how IA knows about their relationship. Gossip, duh.

But Angell remains on the case as the happy trio of Stella, Mac and Danny continue working on who killed Nelson. Mac gets a call—dead head has been found! Nelson’s neck is bruised and has a dried speck of blood on it. Lindsay goes at it…I have money it is alligator blood. Anybody? Darn. It matches an ex-con named Johnny Holt, in for sex crimes. Stella goes to visit de-activated Flack. He banters with her then returns to his crossword puzzle. Holt says he’s bleed all over NYC—shot nine times, knifed five times. She asks about the child molestation, but Holt prefers raping adult women. Even the rapist looks disgusted. Holt’s blood, according to Lindsay, was three months old—Holt was in Sing-Sing. They figure the blood was on the pipe that killed Nelson.

Stella and Lindsay visits Mrs. Nelson, who has been receiving nasty calls after the e-mail was released. Mrs. Nelson argues her husband was normal, watched football and forgot their anniversary (think that’ll come up again?) and not a pedophile. Stella and Lindsay keep asking about his access to boys. She asks them to find her innocent husband’s killer.

And it looks like Nelson is innocent—no other porn is found on the computer but a firewall breach was. They figured that’s why Fleming was on the roof—he breached the firewall to download the pictures and discredit his coach for some reason. They go to the apartment and learn Nelson was stupid enough to have an unsecured Wi-Fi connection. They know Fleming is innocent—his alibi was solid—but they recall Mrs. Nelson said there were two people on the roof. Mac notes sawdust missed by Lindsay and Stella due to snow.

Danny tracks the dust to being from a tree commonly found in Flushing, Queens. He and Angell go out to find a Kyle Sheridan, a snowboarder. He runs but Angell tackles him. Danny asks if she wrestled for school, but she responds she had four older brothers. She cuffs Kyle as we go to commercials.

NEW YORK! Danny and Mac show Kyle his dead coach’s dead head. Kyle admits to sending the e-mail with Todd. In flashback, he wipes his hand, knocking off sawdust. Kyle did it because Nelson wouldn’t move him up a weight class, wrecking his chances at a much-needed wrestling scholarship. He notes his dad is a court officer, which causes Mac to realize the bruise was made by a baton. It also explains Holt’s blood on Nelson’s dead head. The two get a warrant for the Sheridan household, figuring dad saw son’s e-mails. Stella goes in as Mac and Angell parade through the court house in slow-mo. Hawkes finds a train set with wooden logs—sawdust—oh, and the wrapping paper. Stella finds blood trace. Mac and Angell find Alex Sheridan. Dad was so happy when son made the team. But then saw the pictures and called Nelson. The coach denied the pictures and Sheridan fought him, trying to protect his son. He knew the court system—child molester would get off easy, hard to prosecute for murder without a body. Mac deals the low blow that Nelson WAS innocent and that Kyle sent the e-mails to get even with the coach. Dad’s shocked.

WRESTLING MATCH! Red tussles with blue. Everyone cheers. Red beats blue. Was that Kyle? Everyone celebrates as Mrs. Nelson cries. Lindsay shows up to bring her a bouquet of white roses—Nelson’s way of apologizing for forgetting their anniversary.

NEW YORK! Flack cleans up his desk as Mac comes in. He gives him the good news: he was cleared! Todd was prescribed an anti-depressant and Sid found ten times the amount prescribed in the boy’s system. He OD-ed while Flack let him change, back to the boy. Mac hands Flack back his badge and then invites him to go watch a hockey game.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

Danny: “I’m thinking Christmas with the in-laws.”

But the Mr. Potato Head conversation was a close second.

Due feel free to share what YOU think should be the Quote of the Episode as sometimes, I don't find one.  

Father and Son

Last week on the Secret Life of the American Teenager: Amy and Ben learned they weren’t legally married, Jack took the fall for everyone’s fake IDs, Adrian and Ricky go behind Grace’s back, Mr. Molina finally came back, John Schneider seems willing to throw 16 years of loyalty and trust from Josie Bisset away, and Amy starts getting the fact she’s having a real baby. 

A knock at the door starts a fight between Amy’s Dad and Molly again over money she’s certain he’s hiding no matter how much he protests he’s broke. Ashley reminds them someone is at the door—Rev. Stone (also known as the dad from Even Stevens. I miss that show…). Amy’s Dad quickly tries to slam the door in his face but Molly tries to handle it more courteously. He mistakes Ashley for Amy, who makes fun of her sister. Molly takes his card and Amy’s Dad finally gets to slam the door. Ashley asks for a word with Rev. Stone in her father’s place AKA the garage.  

CREDITS! 

Ashley corrects her sarcastic remark. He tells her to look on the bright side of life and she references Monty Python’s Life of Brian. He tells her how that movie got him off drugs and into the ministry…Okay, something just made him almost as cool as Mr. Stevens. They rehash Jack’s back story—why Jack started dating Grace, how he met his mother. He loves Ashley and her mind, especially how quickly she picks up on the death of his son led to the aforementioned drugs. Since he went through a divorce, Ashley asks him to prevent her parents. Outside, Bryan Callen calls the Bowman house and reaches Tom, trying to find Ricky. Tom willingly gives him the information. 

Amy comes up to see Ashley in the garage. Seems Amy has started on the babysitting route. I wasn’t a babysitter. I made my money in tips from altar serving—not that I did it for the money. But it was a good bonus. She and Ashley discusses how much a baby costs to raise and in the process Ashley asks if Ricky will help out. Amy calls Ben to ask if he thinks she should ask him, he vehemently refuses and bemoans their not!marriage. They finally notice Bryan Callen, who approaches them. His name is Bob and when he says he’s Ricky’s dad, Amy closes the garage door. 

Jack goes to the Bowman. Tom asks him to give him a ride because he made a big mistake. Jack fails to see the emergency but Tom can tell it’s a bad situation. Jack is worried that he’s looking like Grace’s stalker. Tom gives him a verbal smack down. We cut to Bryan Callen introducing himself to Amy’s Dad and offering to help because he knows his son won’t. When asked why Ricky is in foster care, Bryan says it is because Ricky didn’t like discipline and made up lies. Amy, listening the hallway, doesn’t believe him. And who would? Callen has this “crazed pervert” look about him though I love him as relatively nice guy on “How I Met Your Mother.” I am not sure as Callen nails Ricky on the head: blaming everyone but himself. Ricky does know how to play people. See: Bowman, Grace. He offers financial help. Interesting. However, Amy looks ready to spill Ricky’s big secret. 

We cut to the batting cages where Ricky is helping Grace take a swing. If he wasn’t such a manipulative, cheating bastard, I’d say they were a cute couple. As it stands, I can wait for the inevitable “Grace’s heart gets broken and Ricky looks horrible over it” episode. I won’t root for him to get her heart back. Anyway, he calls Adrian as Grace screams over the baseballs. They make plans. Jack and Tom show up and explain why they are there. Ricky doesn’t believe that a “bad guy” is looking for him and reinforces Jack’s “stalker belief.” Grace isn’t thrilled to see them, but they just tell her that they are there to “hit some balls.” 

Molly and Amy’s Dad are shocked over Amy’s information about Ricky. Amy’s Dad doesn’t believe it but Molly is adamant that a child doesn’t lie about sexual molestation. Molly is still surprised Amy doesn’t tell her everything and then questions the family the baby is coming into. She reminds Amy of adoption and, tearfully, her daughter agrees. Amy’s Dad isn’t too thrilled with the idea and we go to commercial as Molly looks at Mr. Steven’s card. 

I haven’t decided if Selena Gomez is better than or just as annoying as Hilary Duff. 

At Adrian’s, her dad shows up. She wonders why he didn’t call and he says he didn’t want her to cover anything up. Adrian says she was studying but he gets her to stop to eat. She then admits that she was expecting someone and he guesses it was Ricky. Adrian brings up the fake ID debacle of last week. He reminds her that FAKE IDS ARE BAD, especially after 9/11, and then goes on about Ricky. Adrian stops saying she knows Ricky is in foster care because mom’s a hooker and dad’s in prison. Which we know he certainly is not—he’s on parole, according to Adrian’s dad. He’s afraid Bryan Callen will find Ricky at Adrian’s. Adrian’s father agrees with his daughter that Ricky isn’t bad because his parents are criminals but that Ricky is bad because he’s the manwhore. Adrian kicks him out when dad truthfully tells her Ricky cares about her. But he leaves, giving her the number of emergency services. 

Grace calls Josie Bisset, who asks why Tom is with her. Grace says she thinks it’s because Jack and Tom want to protect her from “bad boy Ricky” who she thinks is really sweet. I like Grace and really, really don’t like seeing her played for a fool. Hey, Brenda, can you introduce a nice character for her to fall in love with? Or are you going to get her pregnant too after Amy gives birth (Shailene Woodley can’t act pregnant forever)? Anyway, it sounds like Josie is reconsidering her opinion on Ricky and tells her daughter to tell her the instant Ricky stops being a nice kid. Grace asks for more time so the boys can show off, Josie grants it, Grace hangs up and sees Bryan Callen standing next to her. The boys spot Bryan Callen and Ricky runs out to him. Callen warns Ricky not to keep the baby and Ricky introduces his father. 

Amy tells Ben that she told her parents about Ricky. He latches on to hope that Ricky is lying and still doesn’t want him to be part of the baby’s life. I think that’s the smartest thing Ben’s ever said. Amy says Ricky will be, hints she may give the baby up and Ben pleads that the baby is hers. They then talk about how Ben insists the baby’s a girl, which Amy won’t find out about until the next ultrasound. Amy is still wavering about adoption, particularly because she loves her little girl (or boy). Ben retreats into fantasyland as Amy reminds him of reality. She asks for Ben’s support and reminds him it is about whatever is best for the baby. 

Ricky finds Adrian to apologize. Adrian offers to get her father’s help for Ricky. He doesn’t think a restraining order against Bryan Callen would help. He then tells Adrian dear old dad was locked up for robbing someone. He breaks it up to go talk to Grace. She’s worried about Ricky’s anger and then guesses what Bryan Callen did. Ricky confirms and is surprised that Grace still wants to talk to him. Amy comes up and Ricky’s afraid about her parents’ reaction. She talks about adoption and he’s scared it’s over his dad. Amy says it’s best for the baby. Ricky argues against adoption saying she can raise the child and he can visit. Amy says she wants a normal life: college, job, marriage to Ben, etc. Ricky pretty much tells her “that’s life in the big city.” He reinforces his refusal with Ben. 

Molly talks with Mr. Stevens about Amy’s baby, adoption plans, Amy’s plans and her plans. Her plans right now sound like me right now, though I finished college ideas. He admires her plans to go back to school and offers to help get her a job. Molly realizes she is like her daughter—their lives are about to change. They go back to adoption and both realize they are in the dark. 

Jack offers to walk out Ricky, to protect him from dear old dad. Jack re-assures Ricky he is not after Grace and says that Grace loves Ricky. Jack hopes Grace can change Ricky even though he knows about the relationship with Adrian. The bell rings and Jack stops by to see Mr. Molina. Jack notes that the counselor doesn’t look fine but Mr. Molina says he is. I hope they aren’t planning on putting him into a domestic abuse storyline. Please. He’s my favorite character because he isn’t involved in all the melodrama. Anyway, he tells Jack he’s found a kid Jack can mentor as community service as he knows Jack will be a good influence. Jack’s excited for it until he sees the neighborhood—gang activity. Jack notes that Bryan Callen is scary and Mr. Molina notes his marriage is already on the rocks. 

Amy and Ashley talk about jobs again as Molly wishes them good-night. She turns around and tries to talk to Amy again. Molly reiterates that the decision is up to Amy. They discuss how they are the same and how change is coming, they have to realize it. They have a mother-daughter moment. 

Ricky meets up with Bryan Callen. He says he knows people who might adopt Amy’s baby for a good price. 

Oh, hey, they changed the PSA after the show. Now, it’s about sexual abuse rather than pregnancy. 

Next week: Birthing classes, Bryan Callen, Grace’s heart gets broken, and John Schneider.

Coincidence? No, Not Really.

New York City! In the morning! And that is one nice engagement ring. Oh, it’s one of those ten minute bridal gown sales that turn into Super Market Dash with no rules and claws. A rush of brides-to-be and their maids of honor storm the show, some with ridiculous headwear on. They fight over the gowns until the woman with the nice engagement ring discovers a dead body. 

Danny can’t believe the whole thing. They notice she is dressed like she was out for a run but Flack says teams dress up so they can identify each other in the melee. The dead bride was arguing over a dress, now covered in blood, with Nice Engagement Ring Girl. 

CREDITS! 

New York! Flack interviews Nice Engagement Ring Girl, named Marie according to her fiancé. Marie says that she struggled with the vic over the dress. The beading on the dress killed her, apparently. Victim is named Laurel Downs, according to her ID in her money-free wallet. Danny notes she has no engagement ring and Stella notes she wasn’t here for the sale. She found Laurel’s race number. 

Was that a shot of St. Patrick’s Cathedral? Mac and Lindsay meet Angell in a rectory converted to loft apartments. A woman is dead in her tube before a stunning stained glass window. Hawkes concludes she was raped, murdered and then put in the tub to wash away evidence. They go over the loft and Mac spots an empty guitar case. Lindsay spots a worm. 

Tub Girl is on Sid’s slab. He notes there is no DNA but proves she was a guitar player. Sid recognizes her as a subway musician whom he enjoyed. He found a glass shard in her head. He says official COD is suffocation, Hawkes recognizes the bruising on her neck. He flashes back to his residency to apparently a girlfriend who was attacked in the very same manner. Mac notes that putting a fist in the mouth to silence his victim’s mouth is the signature of the Gramercy Rapist. Hawkes and Mac fear the rapist is back after an eight year hiatus. 

New York! Danny looks over Laurel’s iPod while I bop to the soundtrack. He finds something in her running shoes and downloads something to the computer. Stella comes back to say that Sid’s ruling is accidental. Danny found Laurel’s workout plan and that she stopped outside of the bridal shop. He figures she knew Marie beforehand but don’t know how. They do know Laurel was a victim of the Gramercy Rapist but Mac rules Laurel’s and Eleanor’s (Tub Girl) deaths coincidences until proven otherwise. Lindsay lays on some coincidence true stories (like Thomas Jefferson and John Adams dying the same day—the fiftieth anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence). 

They work on their cases. Flack runs down Eleanor’s case and gets a lead. Meanwhile, Adam and Hawkes print a homemade guitar slide. Hawkes asks Adam to run DNA off sweat from Eleanor’s shirt. Mac brings in Flack’s lead—a tip line from when the Gramercy Rapist—apparently Hawkes burned up the line. The good doctor admits his ex-girlfriend was a victim. Mac pulls him off the case, surprising Hawkes. Umm, Sheldon, may I mention Lady Murder Sings the Blues?

 Sid goes up to Danny and notes that Laurel and Eleanor are connected. Laurel had Eleanor’s blood on her hands. He then says that Mark Twain was born the same day Haley’s comet appeared and died on the same day of it’s next appearance. Meanwhile, Lindsay notes the worms she found are from Brazil but doesn’t know how it got here. Mac encourages her to sequence it’s DNA. Adam tracks down the DNA to another subway musician.

 Oh, I really hope he’s a red herring. He’s too pretty to be the rapist! He guesses music types for Angell and Mac but they are more interested in what he knew about Eleanor. He says they were friends and he gave her his slide. But he didn’t kill her. At the lab, Danny and Stella realize Laurel wasn’t trying to get Marie’s necklace not the dress. Danny notes Laurel’s rape report says she was robbed of jewelry. It’s the fiancé! I knew he looked skivvy! 

New York! At night! Flack and Stella visit the nightclub owned by Marie and her skivvy fiancé. He says he bought the necklace from some guy in Union Square. Marie lets Stella take the necklace. Lindsay believes the worms come from the killer but they can’t get a warrant based on that. Meanwhile, Adam found Eleanor’s guitar at a pawn shop, pawned by Hot Subway Singer (Trey) and figures he picked her lock. 

Flack and Angell pursues Trey through the subway station until they catch him. He claims he is innocent and he just stole her guitar to buy “something to calm his nerves.” At the lab, Sheldon’s ex Kara comes in to tell her story to Stella. She remembers the rapist went through her stuff and took some jewelry. That includes a ring. Hmm, it is definitely Marie’s fiancé. Why show her Nice Engagement Ring if it isn’t? Kara cries that she tried to forget but she can’t. Stella is the perfect one to console her. 

The missing ring was supposed to be Sheldon’s engagement ring to Kara. He’s still torn up about her. Aww. I want to give him a hug. 

Stella goes through rape reports but none mention missing jewelry. But she figures it might be more cases like Kara who didn’t realize the jewelry was missing. Adam shows the DNA result came back matching Colin, Marie’s Skivvy Fiancé. However, it goes against protocol which leads to a verbal lashing from Mac. He can’t haul in Colin on that as it won’t hold up in court. Hawkes storms out and Stella tries to tell Mac that people can’t turn off their emotions in a lesser version of Sara’s “I wish I was you, Grissom, I wish I didn’t feel anything” line. 

By the way, Grissom leaves tomorrow. I’ll miss him but can’t wait to see what happens when Fishburne joins the cast. 

New York City! Marie’s Skivvy Fiancé’s club is booming. Sheldon watches the place but Mac stops him from going in. He nad Mac have a heart to heart about how bad Sheldon felt over Kara and how he handled the situation. Mac tells him they’ll find something else to get Marie’s Skivvy Fiancé.  So, everyone goes over the old cases. Colin lived in Gramercy Park until his mother died. He came into some money and took Marie to Europe. Lindsay comes back and says the worms found were from Brazil and Colin was in Brazil a month prior. They figure Marie would be their best way to get Marie’s Skivvy Fiancé. 

Stella talks to Marie, who hands over all her jewelry. It is all stolen, Stella knows. Colin comes in and struggles with Stella, who shoots him in a few non-fatal places. He says they can’t prove anything as the camera focuses on a worm in his blood. He’s toast. Sid invites Stella and Mac to visit what they want you to believe is Whitehall Station but take it from someone who has been in Whitehall, it isn’t. They listen to a subway musician, who turns out to be Sharon Little. And they pimp her CD after the show. 

Next week: A dead suspect doesn’t bode well for Flack. Not Flack! 

Quote of the Episode:

“Wow, you been hanging around Lindsay lately, Sid?”

“Hmm, what?” 

So, any stories of coincidence you’d like to share with Sid and Lindsay? I would but I’m more of a ghost story girl. 

Did You Know Possessing a Fake ID was Illegal?

Last week on Secret Life of the American Teenager: Amy and Ben decide to get married in a very anti-climatic scene in which no one said “STOP THIS WEDDING!” or “I OBJECT” or “I don’t.”  Since it was supposed to be a secret, naturally the entire school knows and all the teenage principles show up for the wedding. They all then needed fake IDs so Random Hallway Kid is in the money. Molly Ringwald kicked Amy’s Dad out of the house, he moved into the garage and they fought over it in scenes more appropriate for a sitcom than a teen drama. John Schneider was on a “golf trip” after learning Josie Bisset cheated on Amy’s Dad and not vice versa but Josie let Grace and Tom go out (with Ricky and new girl Tammy), Adrian plotted to get her parents back together and Mr. Molina was still missing.

Onwards! Grace is trying to talk Tom and Tammy out of their impromptu decision to get married. Grace notices her discarded promise ring on Tammy’s finger and wants it back. She refuses and thinks Grace is nuts. Ricky tries to talk some sense into the two but it fails. Grace calls Josie. Josie thinks it’s cute until she realizes her daughter is serious. She asks Tom to wait and calls John Schneider? No, Amy’s Dad. She breaks the news about Amy’s wedding to him so he calls the Sausage King.

CREDITS! Oh, so that’s what they looked like. If you remember, I had a screwed up TV for most of the summer run.

Okay, everyone, you know this song! “It’s fun to stay at the YMCA!” The reception is really rocking out as the Sausage King and Amy’s Dad come to be killjoys. On a side note, why is John Schneider still just a “special guest star”? The Dads don’t look happy to see Amy’s ring.

The party over, Adrian returns home to find her father there. Her mother had to go to work and he gets to interrogate Adrian. She tells him about the wedding and DA Daddy realizes it isn’t legal. Adrian is happy because Amy’s marriage makes the baby Ben’s and it is still clear she likes Ricky, despite her denying it. Dad works out they all had fake IDs and makes her hand it over. She says no and he lays out the legal ramifications. Did you know in New York a fake ID can lead to jail time? She hands over the ID and asks him not to track down where she got it. He says Adrian might spend the summer with him, she says he could just move in with her and Mom, he reminds her he’s married but I don’t think Adrian cares.

The Sausage King gives his son a lecture, saying he knows Ben knows what is right. And he tells his son the marriage is invalid. Sausage King is upset with his son, who hasn’t got past the “not married” part. He takes Ben home. Henry leaves the bathroom, grabs a burger and get out. Meanwhile, Amy’s Dad is examining Ashley’s and Amy’s fake IDs. They all wish they were in Nevada. Now, it’s Amy’s turn to be told she isn’t married. No one wants to tell Molly.

 Amy and Ashley stonewall Molly, who tries to get them to eat pancakes with her. They say they need sleep as we cut to the Bowman household. It’s John Schneider! He’s back. Tom rats out Grace’s fake ID and they argue. Josie and John try to convince Tom not to marry Tammy and John takes his phone. He then takes Grace’s ID and scolds Josie and Grace for taking this too lightly. This somehow ends up about Josie’s infidelity with Amy’s Dad and she leaves. Grace tells her dad about Ricky and he isn’t too happy. He notes her ring is gone, she says it’s with Tammy and John says he should get it back so he can give it to Josie. He’s acting like she cheated on him!

 Adrian gets a visit from Ricky. Okay, dude, make up your mind. Grace or Adrian?

 Amy’s Dad looks divine in a pink bathrobe with red and white dots. Molly really wants pancakes if she’s willing to share ‘em with Amy’s Dad. She wants to talk which naturally segues to the two of them having sex. Which was apparently great. But Molly insists she isn’t taking Amy’s Dad back and then implies she had an affair. He gets upset but she reveals it was a lie. She leaves the garage and tells him to move out. He says he won’t.

 Molly wants to drive the girls to school and argues with Amy’s Dad over it. Ashley would rather walk. Molly and Amy talk about finding a job again. Amy debates telling her mom. And now Ricky looks all happy with Grace, skipping down the hallway gushing over each other. Thankfully, Adrian comes to end it. She drops some hints and then reminds her about Jack. Adrian then says Mr. Molina is back. FINALLY! Ricky and Grace walk away as Jack comes up to talk to Adrian. He tells her he wants to do some volunteer work. Jack then goes to talk to Alice, who is with Henry. They ask each other if they had sex and both deny. Alice asks him to try again and Henry says no.

 Ben comes up followed by Amy. She apologizes, he apologizes. She tells Ben not to tell Molly. Random Hallway Kid comes up to ask about the wedding. Once again, we are told the ramifications of having a fake ID, blah blah blah. Calling the Department of Redundancy Department! Random Hallway Kid says they’d have to catch him and then the principal makes an announcement that all students with fake IDs should report to Mr. Molina’s office. Okay, show, think logically. If a student HAS a fake ID, do you really think they are going to walk into their guidance counselor’s office and admit it? Especially since you said the police will be there? You’d have better luck searching them for it. Then the principal amends it and asks for “Joe Hampton”—Random Hallway Kid. Ben and Amy swear they didn’t rat them out so Random Hallway Kid puts money on the Blabbermouth Duo (Lauren and Madison).

 Adrian sees her dad. I smell the rat.

 Jack goes around collecting everyone’s fake IDs. He stops outside Mr. Molina’s office.

 And we’re back. Hi, Mr. Molina! I missed you! A police officer interrogates Random Hallway Kid. Jack comes in and confesses to it all, throwing away the torn up IDs. His last name is “Pappas”? He’s a good Greek boy who isn’t Greek Orthodox. Jack leaves with the officer though Molina knows he’s taking the rap for Random Hallway Kid. Ben comes to chat with his BFF who thinks Ben has gone off the deep end. Amy overhears Ben saying that he thought the wedding with fake IDs was a bad idea but he went along with it. But then he says he does want to marry Amy. Mr. Molina repeats that it is a bad idea but Ben notes Molina’s wedding ring. AWW! Ben says that he’s surprised due to what Molina told him and the Sausage King about his girlfriend. I would love to see more of those three. They are great together.

 Though, how long did Mr. Molina take off to get married and go on a honeymoon? It was made clear that the summer episodes took place within a short period of time, about a month or two. Last week, we were told Amy is in her sixth month of pregnancy and Mr. Molina’s been missing the entire time. That’s a long time for a school to go without a counselor. Molina was also new and so tenure would not save his job.

 We cut to Molly waiting at a family lawyer. She rambles on about fruit and her daughters to the receptionist, saying she is close to Amy and Ashley. The receptionist offers the number to a therapist so Molly could talk to someone, she replies she talks to Amy and Ashley. Enter John Schneider. He introduces himself to Molly and awkward conversation follows. Fear not, John and Josie fans! John is there to ask legal advice about Tom’s desire to marry Tammy. In the process, he spills the beans about Amy’s secret not-marriage. Molly is shocked but asks John to thank Grace for what she did for Amy. The receptionist takes the cake: “She didn’t tell you?” My sister said it would’ve been better if she held up the therapist’s number.

 Jack returns with community service and no charges. He reminds Adrian that it was her father. She asks him if her dad asked him about her. He says no and they part. Ricky talks to Adrian, asking what she’s doing that night. Ricky though says he loves Grace and might marry her. Adrian tells him she is happy being the woman he cheats with and then makes sure Ricky doesn’t have a record.

 Ben tells Amy about Mr. Molina’s girlfriend. Apparently, she got so jealous he went out with another woman (though he doesn’t say if it was a romantic “going out” or not) she broke down the woman’s door. Okay, if he was cheating on her, I don’t necessarily blame her. Ben says they need to figure out their relationship and hopes they can make their marriage legal someday. Molly stops by to confront the two about the wedding. They argue about jobs and school and thinking and doing the right thing and raising children and Ricky. Molly is trying to force realism on this show. Give it up, show. Molly’s rant is interrupted by Amy thinking she’s in labor. However, it’s just the baby kicking. Amy cries and admits she’s scared.

 Quote of the Episode:

Grace: “Am I old enough to hear this?”

John: “You’re twenty-seven in the state of Nevada, you’re old enough to hear anything.”

Josie: “Your father will not let you forget this.”

Next week: Ricky’s dad comes to town.