OUAT: I’ve Got No Strings

Last time on “Once”: Emma met a pregnant teenager named Ashley who wanted to keep her baby despite everyone telling her she wasn’t suited for it. Emma tells her she can, no doubt also working through some of her issues about giving up Henry. Ashley assaults Gold and he asks Emma to track her down. Along the way, Emma meets Ashley’s ex-boyfriend/baby daddy and learns his father has arranged for Gold to give the baby away. Furious, she’s even more determined to make sure Ashley gets to keep her baby. She makes a deal with Gold to ensure it happens and Ashley gets to keep her little Alexandra as she reunites with her boyfriend.

In the Enchanted Forest, Ashley is apparently Cinderella. After Rumpelstiltskin kills her fairy godmother for her wand, Ella makes a deal with him to go to the ball. She fails to read the fine print and is horrified to learn he wants her firstborn child. That’s…kinda his thing, though. Anyway, when she gets pregnant she tells her prince the truth and they work with Charming to capture Rumple. Ella tricks him into using a magical pen and in revenge, he takes away her prince.

Harsh.

We open on…a puppet show. Or rather a marionette. As a couple entertains a crowd, a redheaded child makes his way through the people and picks their pockets. No one catches him and…wait…doesn’t that look like Pinocchio? Is this when he’s running with the wrong crowd?

(I'm not crazy, right?)

No, wait, it’s Archie! Well, rather, Jiminy. It seems he wasn’t always a cricket. No, he was once a real boy. With really lousy parents. I mean, they aren’t Cora Mills level manipulators but they come close. They guilt their son into continuing to steal from people even though he doesn’t want to. Somehow he’s developed a conscious despite their efforts to keep him from having one. You go, Jiminy!

Archie is having a session with Henry and finally asks him who his alter ego is supposedly. Henry tells him Jiminy Cricket and Archie sounds surprised. But Henry tells him it’s because he helps everyone make the right decisions, like a good conscious. Archie says he’s not a cricket and Henry points out that there are no crickets in Storybrooke. Archie says it’s too early. I would think it’s too cold. The writers have confirmed that the events of the pilot took place on October 23, 2011—the same day the show premiered. Which means by now it has to be mid-November. I would think it would be too cold for crickets. Anyway, Archie asks him why it’s so important to him that the stories be real. Henry doesn’t have an answer so Archie challenges him to think about it.

Emma starts her job as the deputy by refusing to wear the uniform. She says that you don’t have to dress a woman up as a man for people to take her seriously. Graham relents but insists she wear the badge. Emma agrees, clipping it onto her belt.

(Now it's official!)

At that moment, the ground begins to shake. Emma and Graham brace themselves and wait it out. Once everything stills, they head out to figure out what was going on.

Smoke billows up from a hole in the ground, which is apparently an abandoned mine. The entire town is there, trying to see what happened. As Regina tells Graham to cordon off the area, she then shifts into Mayor Mills mode and assures the people that everything is fine. She says they always knew it was a possibility with these old mines but she says that she will make sure it’s demolished and paved over. Henry then asks her why and if she’s hiding something.

(Regina is a natural leader)

We’ll get back to Henry in a minute. Can we just admire how good at politics Regina is? She managed to calm the people and put a positive spin on this in seconds. Brava.

Anyway, back to Henry, she confronts him and tells him that she’s not hiding anything. That the old mines are dangerous. But he hands her something he found, something that looks like glass. Regina takes it and tells him she’ll have someone take him home.

(Oh, she's definitely hiding something)

Regina tries to send Emma home but learns that she’s now the deputy. She glares at Graham as she orders her mortal enemy to cordon off the area with yellow tape and keep everyone back. Emma’s like, “Well, that went well.”

As Regina slips the glass into her pocket, Henry calls Archie and Emma over. He says they are the entirety of Operation Cobra, which surprises Archie. Henry says they have to figure out what Regina is hiding in the mines.

If memory from Season 2 serves me correctly, it’s Storybrooke’s Self-Destruct Button. Because Regina clearly took design advice from Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. You don’t want to find that, Henry. Trust me.

Seeing the confab, Regina breaks it up. She grabs Archie for a word. She tells him that his therapy isn’t working and she wants him to squash all of Henry’s silly fantasies. Archie warns her that it’s dangerous to do that but Regina doesn’t care. She threatens Archie within an inch of his life and stalks off.

(Do not mess with Regina)

We cut back to the Enchanted Forest, where little Jiminy has morphed from the child actor I swear also plays Pinocchio into Raphael Sbarge. How time flies! He’s still traveling with his parents and he’s still helping them with their cons, even though he just wants to be a good upstanding normal citizen. Aww, Jiminy.

(Behold, adult!Jiminy!)

Anyway, his parents still won’t let him go be his own person and they tell him to set up their marionette stage. Which he does even has it starts to rain. A young boy with dark hair and a black umbrella comes up and they talk for a bit. Jiminy confesses that he wishes he could be like the crickets they hear. Then he’d have freedom. The boy gives him his umbrella and runs back home.

(Isn't he sweet?)

Back in Storybrooke, Archie tries to figure out how to obey Regina’s commands without completely traumatizing Henry. An older gentleman who Archie calls Marco comes in to ask him about their lunch plans. Aww, Jiminy and Marco are friends. And it’s good to see Marco. Speaking of him, is he still under Regina’s sleeping curse in the present? Did anyone wake him up after she and the Queens of Darkness kidnapped Pinocchio? Anyone?

Archie tells Marco that he doesn’t have the time to go eat today as Henry bursts in and tells Archie that he’s all prepared for them to explore the mines. He brought supplies and candy bars for food. He’s an adorable little ten years old, isn’t he?

Archie sits Henry down and explains that the stories in his book aren’t real. That the people of Storybrooke aren’t under a curse, Regina isn’t some evil queen and Archie is not Jiminy Cricket. He says that he’s been playing along to help Henry but it seems it has reached a critical level, so he has to take drastic steps if Henry won’t stop. Heartbroken and angry, Henry runs off and leaves a guilt-ridden therapist behind. Group hug for Archie!

(Look at him!)

Over at Storybrooke General, Mary Margaret and David play a game of hangman. But Mary Margaret is a lousy player and gives up. She’s mortified to learn she couldn’t guess her own name. David assures her that he would’ve done everything in his power to keep her from hanging their poor little stick figure.

They share a laugh before Kathryn comes in, wondering what was so funny. The mood is killed and Mary Margaret makes her excuses. David tries to get her to stay and Kathryn is really nice about it, but she says her shift ended a long time ago. She leaves the room as Kathryn shows him pictures of their life together, including their dog Ajax. David seems to remember him as he sits down next to his wife.

(And Mary Margaret feels like a third wheel)

Mary Margaret returns to her loft and talks about it with Emma. She tells her friend to stay clear because he has a wife. Emma says getting involved with married men is never worth it and she sounds like she has experience. Mary Margaret realizes this but is unable to ask about it when a knock comes to their door.

Emma answers it and an upset Henry flings himself at her. She comforts him and then we next see her storming into Archie’s office, demanding to know what he did to her kid. She throws his own words back at him—his warning to her about shattering his illusion. Archie tries to use some psychobabble but Emma realizes that Regina was behind it.

Speaking of the devil, she calls Emma and asks where Henry is. Emma says she dropped Henry off at Regina’s office but he’s not there. She looks at Archie, who thinks he knows where he is.

We cut to Henry staring down the entrance to the mine. Taking a deep breath, he goes in.

(Hello, brave yet foolish Henry. Nice to see you for the first time)

Emma and Archie head to the mine entrance, calling for Henry. Archie goes in to try and find his wayward patient. Before Emma can join him, there is another shift and the entrance collapses in on itself.

Uh oh.

We cut back to fairy tale land. Jiminy walks through a darkened room, stumbling across a spinning wheel. The next moment, Rumple is sitting there. Yes, we are in Dark One Manor! Archie gives him something and Rumple pays him with some golden thread.

But Jiminy wants something else. He wants to be free of his parents. So Rumple gives him a potion that will allow Jiminy to be rid of them for good.

Is it really that hard to get away from them? You’re a guy, Jiminy. I’m sure if you just walked away, you could probably find someone willing to teach you a trade and give you a roof over your head. You could do fine.

(Don't do it, Jiminy!)

Anyway, that night, Jiminy and his parents knock on the door of some cabin. A sweet young couple answers and he asks them if they can spare some food for himself and his ailing parents. Being a sweet young couple, of course they can! They invited Jiminy and his parents to sit by their fire and share what food they have for the night.

Once the food is gone, Jiminy’s parents start going on about how they just came from a town that was suffering from the plague. The sweet young couple clutch each other and worry that their guests have brought it with them. But the parents assure them that they are fine because they had an elixir to prevent themselves from getting the plague. They ask the sweet young couple if they have it. The two say they don’t and Jiminy says they are doomed with all the sincerity of Willy Wonka trying to stop one of the kids from doing something dangerous. So Jiminy’s parents offer to give them some for whatever the sweet young couple is willing to give them as payment.

They seem to clean the sweet young couple out as they leave, Jiminy giving them a bottle that looks an awful lot like the one Rumple gave him. I don’t have a good feeling about this, you guys.

(They're doomed!)

As they return to the carriage with their loot, Jiminy decides it’s time to use the vial Rumple gave him. He makes a grand speech, sprinkling his parents. When nothing happens, they laugh. They knew about the vial and his dad reveals he only sprinkled them with rain water. Jiminy realizes his father switched the vials and takes off running toward the cottage.

But he’s too late. Instead of the sweet young couple, creepy marionettes of them sit on the bed. They are still holding hands, which would be sweet if these things didn’t look like the devil himself carved them. Jeez, show.

(*Shudder*)

Anyway, back to the mine. Henry continues to explore as Archie finds him. He is excited that Archie is on Operation Cobra again but Archie impresses the seriousness of their situation by revealing that the entrance is now blocked. Henry realizes he might be in over his head and the two band together to get out.

Outside, the entire town has come out to figure out how to rescue Henry and Archie. Regina and Emma are forced to work together to get their son back. Marco comes up and says he has an idea. Ruby helps them determine that what he wants to do is blow it up.

Down in the mines, Archie and Henry find an old elevator that the miners must’ve used. They try to get it working as we cut back outside…

Where the entrance to the mine has been lined with dynamite. Everyone ignores Pongo as he barks, though Regina does notice him for a few moments. 

("Regina, Regina! Look at me!")

("I'll give you a treat later. We have other things to do now. Timmy's trapped in a well type things")

But she turns back to the pit, waiting for everyone to clear before giving the order to blow it. They do so and Emma runs into the cloud of smoke.

Down in the mine, the elevator shifts and traps Archie and Henry. They huddle closer, Henry sharing some of his candy bars with his therapist. Both talk a bit more, Archie once again asking Henry why he needs his stories to be true. Henry still doesn’t know.

Outside, Emma reports that they weren’t able to open the mine entrance. Regina is now almost beside herself with worry as Emma decides to finally pay attention to Pongo. She lets the dog out and he leads them to a shaft that they decide to open.

Archie apologizes to Henry, saying he shouldn’t have been so harsh with him about the storybook. If he wants to believe, Archie is not going to stop him.

(Someone had a revelation)

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Jiminy is still horrified over what he’s done as his parents cackle about it. Charming. Anyway, then the young boy who gave him his umbrella runs into the house, looking for his parents. Uh oh. He spies the demonic marionettes and is horrified. He yells at Jiminy and runs off.

The town works together to get the grate off the mine shaft and they realize someone has to be lowered down to get Henry and Archie. Emma says she can do it, though Regina isn’t too sure. Emma snaps that Henry is her son too and Regina realizes it’s the only way. She gives Emma her blessing to save their son.

(Look, Regina is scared. This vulnerability is rare)

Meanwhile, Mary Margaret prepares to leave the hospital when David comes up to her. He said he’s allowed to walk outside as long as he’s accompanied by hospital staff, but everyone’s out rescuing Henry and Archie. So he figures a hospital volunteer is just as good. Mary Margaret agrees to accompany him.

As they walk about the lake, Mary Margaret asks him about his returning memories. David admits there aren’t any and he just pretended to remember his dog for Kathryn’s sake. He then wonders who would name a dog Ajax. They share a laugh as Kathryn joins them. Mary Margaret once again makes a hasty exit, watching the Nolans with pain in her eyes. 

(So close yet so far)

Emma is lowered down the shaft and reaches for Henry. She’s able to grab him as the elevator shakes. It falls before Emma can grab Archie and both mother and son yell as the elevator plunges further down the shaft. But Archie is fine, using his umbrella to hold on to Emma’s harness. Everyone shares a laugh.

(Saved by the umbrella!)

Emma emerges with Henry and Archie. Regina rushes forward as Team Mom unites for the first time to make sure their son is uninjured. But Regina pushes Emma away quickly and takes Henry off. Graham makes sure Emma is thanked.

A heartbroken and guilt ridden Jiminy makes a wish on a star. 

(Cue the song!)

The Blue Fairy comes to him and says she’s heard his wish because he’s practically shouting it in his mind. She says she can’t undo the spell and make the demonic marionettes the sweet young couple again. But she can help Jiminy keep an eye on their son, turning him into a cricket. Jiminy says he doesn’t know the boy’s name and Blue reveals it is Gepetto.

(They have him speak cricket instead of English)

We return to Gold’s shop to see he now possesses the demonic marionettes.

Creepy.

It’s now night (guess the soap opera rules apply again?) and Emma watches as Marco and Archie talk to each other. Henry reveals that they’re best friends, as we’ve already seen that Marco is Gepetto. Looks like they found each other. To quote Snow and Charming.

(You've got a friend...)

Archie approaches Regina and tells her that he’s going to keep treating Henry the way he sees fit. When she puts up a fight, he silences her with a threat of his own. He says that the way things are going, Regina may see herself in a custody fight. And he says that the courts tend to call upon therapists who have treated the child to testify. Without having to say it, Archie makes it clear that he can take Henry away from Regina. She backs off, no doubt cursing the fact that the peons are rising against her.

Mary Margaret signs a letter and when the camera zooms in, we see it’s her resignation letter. She’s not going to be a volunteer at the hospital anymore. With another pained look, she puts it in a mailbox and leaves.

As everyone is distracted at the mine, Regina takes the glass shard and drops it down the shaft. It ends up in a glittering field of other shards.

Hmm…

(Well, this is suspicious)

Well, I wasn’t expecting that Jiminy had a human form because he used to be human…but it’s a nice twist. And I now kinda wish they used Raphael Sbarge more in later seasons. He’s amazing to watch.

Next time: David’s backstory!

Screen caps from here.