OUAT: Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun

Last time on “OUAT:” Storybrooke got back into a somewhat normal groove but Gold was about to disturb that. He got two of the Queens of Darkness back together and tricked Belle yet again. He gave her the translation for a spell to unleash the fairies…and Chernabog. With the demon terrorizing Storybrooke and possibly coming after Regina, she and Emma agree to work with Ursula and Cruella. Chernabog is defeated and they let the two into Storybrooke, over Mary Margaret and David’s protestations. They then let Gold into town, who says they need to resurrect Maleficent and keep an eye on Emma, who has potential to go dark. Meanwhile, Mary Margaret and David threaten Ursula and Cruella to stay quiet about some Dark!Secret! our heroes have. Also: not much movement on Operation Mongoose, Regina hasn’t heard from Robin, and the Queens of Darkness helped Rumple get the Dark Curse.

*Take a deep breath*


We open in the Nolan loft, where Mary Margaret is having trouble sleeping. She calls out for David, but her only response is Baby Neal crying. Mary Margaret goes to comfort her adorable baby boy when she discovers Maleficent in her loft. Cruella and Ursula are there. Maleficent talks about Mary Margaret paying for what she did to her. She then takes Baby Neal, cradling him. Mary Margaret pleads with her not to hurt her family. Maleficent tells her that when she’s done, Mary Margaret won’t have a family.

(A hero's worst nightmare!)

We repeat the scene and don’t worry, it’s not another Groundhog’s Day take off. This time Mary Margaret is awake, Maleficent is still mostly dead (for now) and Baby Neal is fine. David is also there, sitting on the stairs. Someone on tumblr pointed out that he was protecting both his children—he could see Neal’s crib but at the same time keep an eye on Emma’s room. Mary Margaret tells him about her dream and how they need to keep anyone—especially Emma—from learning about their Dark!Secret!

Let’s just hope it doesn’t take as long for us to learn about this Dark!Secret! as it did for them to name Baby Neal in last season’s finale.

In the Enchanted Forest, Snow and Charming return home from their honeymoon. Charming jokes about how he should be insulted Snow wanted to end their honeymoon so fast. But Snow is still worrying about Regina’s threat from their wedding. They need to find her and stop her. Now.

(Well, that's not promising)

But then Snow notices that Sleepy was placed on guard duty. She tsks, saying she told the dwarves to never put him there. But then Charming points out their entire court is out cold. They correctly recognize it as a sleeping curse but they mistakenly attribute it to Regina. It’s Maleficent’s. She’s there with Ursula and Cruella with a little proposition for our heroes.

What is it? Well, Maleficent tells Snow and Charming that Regina’s threat isn’t an idle one—that she is in possession of a dangerous and powerful curse.They don’t want to fall victim to it either. So they want to get advice from Grandmother Willow the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil Wisdom on how to defeat Regina. The catch? Only people who are valiant heroes can talk to the tree. So they need the Charmings to ask the tree for them. While reluctant to join up with the Queens of Darkness, Charming and Snow see no other option. They agree.

(Heroes debating joining the villains)

Speaking of the Queens of Darkness, Cruella and Ursula sit in Granny’s as they wait for their orders. Granny…doesn’t seem to be moving pretty fast. Cruella keeps insulting her but surprisingly, that doesn’t work. Will comes in and asks Granny for the usual, which is two coffees. He walks away and the Queens are now more annoyed.

(Two people not thrilled with Granny's service)

Regina enters with Henry. Cruella asks Regina to yank out Granny’s heart and Regina is uncomfortable with her deeds as the Evil Queen being discussed in front of Henry. She tells him to go wait for her in her office. He agrees, reminding her to get chocolate frosted donuts rather than chocolate donuts before leaving. Regina then makes it clear that the Queens of Darkness should not discuss her past in front of Henry. As the Charmings enter, Cruella and Ursula decide to leave.

Outside, Emma and Hook walk up. Ursula and Hook exchange greetings that scream “WE HAVE A HISTORY!” Emma’s curious but Hook just says they encountered each other in his journeys on the ocean. David runs out and tells Emma that the Queens of Darkness are up to something and they have to follow them. Emma says she just wants to have a grilled cheese. Don’t you think it’s a bit early for that, Emma? Isn’t it still morning? Anyways, she kisses Killian and runs after her father.

(Emma just wants to eat)

Where do the Queens of Darkness go? To Gold’s shop! Belle threatens to turn them into frogs if they even so much as look at her wrong. Ursula and Cruella say that they are just there to congratulate her for driving Gold out of town. She asks how he is and they tell her he’s a broken man. As they continue to guilt-trip Belle, one of Ursula’s tentacles slinks across the floor and grabs something. It’s a box with a drawing of Maleficent on it. The Queens bid Belle farewell and leave. David and Emma spot them and follow Cruella’s car.

(Hmm, wonder what's in that)

Regina goes to her office and gives Henry his donuts. She broaches the subject of her past but Henry tells her not to worry about it. Regina tells Henry that the happiest she’s ever been was when it was her, Robin and Roland. She wants to get it back. Meaning she wants Robin and Roland back. It also may be confirmation of off-screen Hood-Mills family interactions. Which makes a bit of sense from this scene in 4x09, Fall:

It was a small gesture but I read it that Robin and Henry had some sort of relationship. That Robin just has to pat his head and Henry nods in reassurance says a lot to me.

Henry then says he might have found a clue. Pages have been added to the book and Henry recalls that August did it so that Emma would know he was Pinocchio and that he came through the wardrobe with her. Maybe he knows about the Author since he was a writer? Regina points out one problem: August was de-aged back in Season 2 and is a child going by Pinocchio again. He also lost his memories but they hope maybe seeing the book will trigger something.

Back in the past, the Queens of Darkness and the Charmings come across a bridge. The guards though won’t let them cross and Snow blames the Queens for it. She says she doesn’t blame the guards. But the Queens want the Charmings to exert a little more pressure on the guards. The Charmings suggest finding another way around. Then Snow realizes Maleficent is gone. She asks the Queens where their third member went.

They peer down in to the gorge the bridge spans. A dragon swoops up and barbeques the guards. Snow and Charming protest as the dragon turns back into Maleficent. She’ll have none of their indignant whining—she took care of their problem. Time to move on.

(Woo-hoo! Dragon!)

Emma and David follow Cruella’s car. David gets off the phone with Belle, who says a box is missing from the store. They pull the Queens over and after some snark from Cruella, David begins to inspect her car. He finds a lot of parking tickets…

(A lot of parking tickets)

and a secret glove compartment. Inside is the box they took from Gold’s shop. David opens it and finds what looks like the orb from atop Maleficent’s staff. He takes it and pockets it.

David turns to the women and says that the car is clean. Emma is a bit surprised but she apologizes to the Queens, letting them continue on their way. As they drive off, Emma wonders if they should keep following them. David says no, that they should head back into town. Emma’s a bit suspicious but she goes with it.

Gold meets up with the Queens of Darkness in the lair hidden under the library. He asks if they’ve did what they needed to do. They have. Gold then asks if Belle asked for him. The Queens lie and tell him she didn’t. They tell him that she’s moved on. Gold looks like they just kicked his puppy.

Speaking of puppies, is Pongo going to show up at all this arc?

(Remember him?)

Regina invites Pinocchio over, but he doesn’t remember anything. Emma pops in, trying to help since Regina is operating on frayed nerves. She lets loose on poor Pinocchio until Marco steps in and tells her she will not speak to his son that way. Emma takes Pinocchio and Henry to the vending machines while Regina cools down.

(Papa Bear mode activated)

David goes to Mary Margaret and shows her the purple orb thing he stole from Cruella’s car. She recognizes it as Maleficent’s and they take it as proof that the Queens are trying to raise Maleficent from the dead. They decide to stop them by destroying what’s left of Maleficent.

Hook pays Emma a visit at the sheriff’s office. She asks him about his past with Ursula. He’s hesitant and cagey about it. Emma knows he’s hiding something and wants him to tell her the truth. Hook still remains silent and so he leaves.

I’m going to start praying it wasn’t a romantic entanglement.

Meanwhile, Mary Margaret and David pack for a bit of an adventure as Emma runs up. She says she wants to continue following Ursula and Cruella but her parents shut her down. They say that Belle probably misplaced the box and that they aren’t being fair to the Queens. They aren’t giving them a second chance. Emma asks where they are going then and they lie, saying they are going on a hike. She looks like she doesn’t believe them—her special power is probably pinging—but she doesn’t call them out on it. She just goes back to the office.

(Emma's super power is going haywire)

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Maleficent awakes in the morning. They are near the tree and its time to head there. But she discovers that Charming and Snow have already left without them. Maleficent rouses the other Queens and they go after our heroes.

Snow and Charming make it to Grandmother Willow the Tree of Wisdom and ask it how to defeat Regina. But the tree glows red and pushes the royal couple away. The Queens of Darkness witness it and they try to figure out why the tree rejected Snow Freakin’ White and Prince Charming. Maleficent then really looks at Snow White and starts going on about how Snow’s glowing and there’s twinkle in her eye…Snow’s pregnant, y’all! Emma was conceived on her parents’ honeymoon.

(Rejected!)

So why is Grandmother Willow the Tree of Wisdom rejecting unborn Emma? Because she’s a child of true love, Maleficent explains. This means she will be born with great power (which we know). BUT! She could either end up being a force of good or a force of evil. So while Snow and Charming are valiant heroes, utero!Emma has yet to prove which she will be.

We must also assume all this holds true for Baby Neal in the present as well.

Regina goes to Marco’s workshop and he snaps at her. She says she’s not there to talk to Pinocchio but to Marco. Regina says that she’s trying to be a better person and she knows that had anyone spoken to Henry the way she spoke to Pinocchio…well, they’d probably be a pile of ashes. She tells Marco that she can’t get her redemption unless she acknowledges when she did something wrong. She apologizes to Marco for her behavior.

He forgives her and then says that Pinocchio doesn’t remember anything about his time as August. And that August didn’t confide anything to him either. But Marco pulls something from August’s old motorcycle. He thinks it might help Regina. She thanks Marco and he wishes her good luck.

Marco for Regina’s surrogate dad!

Mary Margaret and David go into the cavern under the library, where they encounter the Queens of Darkness after getting knocked out. They reveal that our heroes have fallen into their trap. It wasn’t Maleficent’s little orb that they needed to revive her. They needed some blood from the people who wronged her the most. Which is apparently the Charmings. As I said when I liveblogged this on tumblr, Mary Margaret is an important ingredient in a lot of spells involving dead people on this show. Maleficent comes back and swears revenge. Cruella and Ursula just love it. Mary Margaret and David flee.

They go straight to Emma, determined to tell her everything. But they happen to catch her when she’s telling Hook that she won’t push about his past with Ursula. She’s still learning to trust and doing that means she has to accept there are things Hook can’t tell her yet. They’re about to kiss when she spots her parents. 

(Busted!)

Mary Margaret and David blunder about before revealing that Maleficent is alive. Emma asks them what she wants. Mary Margaret and David make their decision: They tell Emma that she wants what every villain wants—to take over the Tri-State area world. Actually, she wants to get her happy ending and she’ll destroy the heroes to get it because she’s a villain.

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Snow awakens after a nightmare. She tries to wake Charming but he sleeps on. Maleficent emerges from the shadows and says that Charming’s just under a sleeping curse. He’ll be fine. Maleficent just wanted some girl talk with Snow. Because, you see, Maleficent’s pregnant! 

(Can't you see that new mother glow?)

No word on who the father is. Anyway, she wants Snow’s help to stop Regina’s curse. For the sake of both their unborn children. Snow turns her down flat, saying that aligning with a villain could put her unborn child at risk of becoming a villain instead of a hero.

In the rain, Regina meets up with Mary Margaret and David in the middle of the woods. They reveal to the mayor that the Queens brought Maleficent back and want their happy endings. Regina curses herself for falling for the “second chance” act. Mary Margaret then says that she couldn’t keep one of Regina’s secrets (you know, about running away with Daniel) but she’s going to ask Regina to keep one for her. And Emma can never find out.

She then goes on about trust and how there are things that can damage a relationship forever blah blah blah. All of this is cut over scenes of Emma and Hook walking down Storybrooke’s streets hand-in-hand. We also see Gold watching his store as Belle puts some things on display. He then gets a surprise when she turns and hugs Will, going in for a kiss. Scarlet Beauty is happening, y’all! It’ll be interesting to learn how that happened. Gold goes away, brokenhearted.

(Regina just wants Snow to get to her damn point)

By this point, Regina channels the audience and just wants Mary Margaret to tell her the secret for goodness’ sake. What is it? Because of something Snow and Charming did in the Enchanted Forest, Maleficent lost her baby.

dun dun DUN!

Also, the Charmings want Regina to go undercover with the Queens of Darkness to find out what they’re up to. That seems dangerous—Regina still struggles with her darkness every day. But she agrees.

Uh oh.

The last shot is of Maleficent, holding that tiny purple orb from the box. She shakes it and it rattles. Aww, she made a little rattle that looked like her staff for her child!

(That's actually kind of adorable)

Well, at least we have a better understanding of what the Charmings did to Maleficent. Even if we don’t know exactly what they meant by “lose.” Did she miscarry? Did the Charmings misplace the kid? So many questions still to be answered.

Also, am concerned for Regina going undercover. Stay strong, Regina!

Next time: Regina plays with fire.

Screen caps from here.