Nostalgia Nook: It Takes Two

Welcome to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen month! Those adorable twins first captured America’s hearts when they shared the role of Michelle Tanner on “Full House.” As they grew up, they started to garner more and more attention until it felt like they were being shoved down our throats. So they went from the little screen to the big screen. And we’re going to start with one of those outings—“It Takes Two.”

SPOILER WARNING!


“It Takes Two” is a cross between “The Prince and the Pauper” and “The Parent Trap.” In this case “the prince” is heiress Alyssa Calloway (Ashley Olsen). She returns home from her boarding school to find her father, Roger (Steve Gutenberg), has opened a summer house long closed for a party. She thinks it is her homecoming party. Instead, she meets her father’s “friend” Clarice (Jane Sibbett) and after a series of interruptions, finally learns said “friend” is really “fiancée.” Alyssa doesn’t take it well and runs away.

Our “pauper” is Amanda Lemmon (Mary-Kate Olsen), an orphan under the care of social worker Diane Borroughs (Kirstie Alley). She hopes to be adopted but knows her chances diminish the older she gets. At the start of the film, she has an appointment with a family called the Buttkisses, who one orphan says “collects kids.” It seems to be the best Amanda can do as social services won’t allow Diane to adopt the girl. But she goes away to camp to forget her problems. The camp happens to be right by Alyssa’s summer home, which the campers believe is haunted. Amanda is dared to ring the bell.

And thus the switch begins. Butler Vincenzo (Phillip Bosco) mistakes Amanda for Alyssa while across the way, Diane makes the same mistake. The two eventually meet up and realize they look like each other. When Alyssa explains her situation, Amanda offers to scare Clarice away. 

But after ruining the engagement party, Amanda is disheartened to learn Clarice is still going through with the wedding. She and Alyssa hatch a plan to pair up Diane and Roger, entering our Parent Trap plot. There is a connection between the two, which everyone can see—including a newly returned Clarice. So she moves up the wedding just as “Amanda” gets adopted by the Buttkisses in the quickest adoption in history. This forces Amanda to reveal the truth to Vincenzo and he turns to Diane for help. Can they get the right girl to the wedding? And can they stop Roger from marrying the wrong woman?

Is it a bit predictable? Yes. But does it have its moments? Absolutely. Gutenberg and Alley have some great chemistry. The Olsens aren’t too bad but Mary-Kate’s “Noo Yawk” accent did start to grate. Ashley was fine and her “Noo Yawk” accent wasn’t as bad.

There is a problem I find with many children’s films. When you watch them as children, they are entertaining. When you watch them again, you spot plotholes and disturbing things. For example, the Buttkisses. How did they manage to adopt so many children with no one knowing the kids were working? Don’t they do extensive background checks? And a neighbor tells Diane about it. Why didn’t he call the authorities?

At least Diane is capable. Roger…not so much. And there are so many questions about his relationship with Clarice. Like, how long have they been dating exactly? And how long is Alyssa away at the boarding school? She had no clue about Clarice so either Alyssa never came home for Christmas (not likely) or Clarice and Roger got engaged after only a few months of dating (likely). So then his parenting comes into serious question.

He keeps repeating the main reason he’s marrying Clarice is because Alyssa “needs a mother.” But the two have hardly spent any time together. No one should’ve thought Alyssa’s outburst uncalled for—she has every right to be surprised. Roger never really takes his daughter’s feelings into account. For example, he promises to spend time with Alyssa to get to know her better. He spends the time trying to convince her to like Clarice. Yes, it wasn’t Alyssa but Amanda, but he didn’t know that.

And then later on, during the wedding scene, everything has fallen to shreds. Roger says he no longer wants to marry Clarice and she flips out. She blames Amanda (still believing it’s Alyssa) and goes to hit her.  Vincenzo stops her. Not Roger, her father. Nope, the butler. Roger doesn’t even react. The woman he was marrying so his daughter could have a mother goes to hit said daughter. No reaction. Yeah, father of the year there.

But it’s a cute movie. And the Olsens don’t sing in it. We’ll discuss that later.

Next week: The Mary-Kate and Ashley Mysteries!